Light was that which greeted her when she opened her eyes for a second time, the nightmares of night being chased away by the daylight, and Sakura sighed in the soft light which flooded through the windows and the pale curtains which evidently weren't made for blocking out the light. Decorative furnishings which held no purpose other than to make the room look pretty. Still, there was glass in the window as opposed to the open holes with shutters which she was used to. Glass was expensive. Though the soulmate of Lord Glorfindel probably only deserved as such, because of said soulmate rather than anything about her herself. Sakura lay on the bed like a starfish, staring up at the ceiling which she would undoubtedly have to get used to. She had a feeling her relationship with her soulmate wouldn't be progressing particularly quickly. They would undoubtedly be staying in separate rooms for a while to come, though that was hardly a surprise to her by that point.
Groaning softly, she sat up, marvelling at how very soft the mattress was beneath her. She had slept wonderfully, nightmares aside, and it had been far more comfortable and warm compared to the years of sleeping within a small room in the depths of Fornost Erain on a lumpy, straw-filled mattress. Pushing her blankets and quilts back, she set her feet down on the floor, stretching her arms before she finally got up, promising herself that she would have a bath later that night, what with the fact there would undoubtedly be things to be done during the day, and she didn't want to be late for anything. That would hardly make the good impression she undoubtedly needed to make. She didn't want to be late on top of being the lowly mortal that she was. Sakura scowled at the thought, though it was probably something she would have to get used to. She was the one on foreign soil, with all the judgements that would entail. Nothing different to that which she had already done.
Her name wasn't Uzumaki Naruto, and she didn't have an endless supply of cheer and belief in all that was good about people. Rather, she was bitter and far too angry about her past, her failures, and her treatment there at the hands of her so-called kin of that world. Dread hit her like a punch to the stomach, and she mused blithely on how much scorn and derision would be directed her way on that day. The day where she would undoubtedly see much more of Imladris than she had at that point in time. Though considering she had only arrived yesterday, there would be lots to explore. Whether she would be able to explore would be another question entirely though, and Sakura felt her shoulders slump at the thought of the restrictions which would undoubtedly be placed upon her, what with her being of the 'evil desert', a place where servants of the Enemy lingered.
A knock on the door made her stiffen, head snapping up, eyes darting over to lock on the door as a familiar voice resonated, clear despite the wooden door between them. "Lothris," her soulmate called, knuckles rapping on the door to her rooms there. "Are you awake, or should I send for someone to assist you?" he asked, and Sakura stood up then, padding silently over to the door and opening it then and looking up at her soulmate as he stood there in all his golden glory.
"I am awake," she said, as though it wasn't obvious just by her being there. Silence fell at her words, and Sakura was reminded of the terrible awkwardness of the night previous. Or had it merely been very early morning? She hummed at that, before deciding it didn't matter all that much. All that mattered was that it had happened, and any progress she might have made with him on the journey there had been all but set back to the beginning.
"You should change," Glorfindel said, stepping back then, and Sakura nodded at that, closing the door and venturing over to the wardrobe to find out some clothes for the day. Underclothes were easy enough to find, but shirt and trousers were not an option, nor were a shirt and a long skirt as she had so preferred of all styles of outwear in Fornost, or so it seemed if the line of dresses was anything to go by. Her shoulders sunk, and she flicked through them, few as their number were, settling on a dark green dress to wear for that day. She was used to the familiar skirts and the way they brushed against her legs as opposed to the skin-tight trousers she had worn in a world long dead. In all likelihood, she doubted she would ever get to wear the trousers or shorts she had once preferred, just as she doubted she would be able to hold a sword in sight of others. The customs of that place wouldn't allow it, unless she wanted to be classed an outsider and ostracised. Sakura didn't want that, so wearing dresses and using a needles and thread over blade and shuriken. Not that shuriken even seemed to exist in that place.
Pulling the green dress over her head, she stared down at it, not even needing to look in a mirror to know it was a bad fit for her. She didn't suit dresses, and she barely suited a shirt and a skirt. She didn't like the way they made her look – as though she ought to be dainty and something to be protected. The muscles on her arms and legs didn't help with what the dress tried to suggest either, and Sakura could only sigh once more, even as she slipped on a similar pair of slippers to the ones her soulmate too had been wearing right then and there. He probably wasn't going out from the main building there, and Sakura doubted she was either. After all, it made more sense to keep the unknown woman from the desert in one place so she would be hopelessly lost should she try to run away or steal something to bring back to the Enemy.
She turned on her heel then, casting her gaze back towards the door, dread and nervousness settling heavily in the pit of her stomach, even as she opened the door, revealing the same figure who turned from where he had been gazing down on that same courtyard as they had the night previous. Her eyes flickered away, shame and irritation roiling through her at the reminder of that disastrous conversation. She was probably lucky to not have had a sword levelled at her throat. Not that anyone or anything there would have been able to kill her. Not unless they had power which vastly surpassed that of Kaguya's. Sakura knew they didn't. She could taste it on the air around them – power. It was like a tingle on her tongue, and it was the greatest around her soulmate. Glorfindel was dangerous, and Sakura knew she would have known as such, even if Sadril hadn't lain many a hints about the feats he had accomplished. The same feats which made everyone so very confused over why a mere human was made his soulmate. The same feats which meant everyone always felt the slightest sliver of disappointment and shame whenever they looked upon her. Or at least the elves, the kin of her soulmate, did. Fornost had always radiated more shame and disgust, for how could they have been disappointed when they had no good expectations of her to begin with?
"Shall we be off then?" he asked, offering out his arm, and Sakura only blinked and stared at it for a few moments before she tentatively grasped his broad forearm, allowing him to lead her out from her rooms. The door shut behind her with a soft click, any feeling of safety she might have had vanishing with that simple sound.
Never before had she felt so awkwardly out of place there. Something which might have been lessened had she had her pink hair and something other than a dress to wear. But you don't have the courage to, scaredy-cat, Sasuke's ghost whispered, and Sakura felt her teeth grit together, the surging want to be able to blend in and live quietly rising once more. After all, if she didn't make too much of a fuss, then nothing like before would happen – then she wouldn't have to watch people she cared about getting hurt. Not that she really had any of those left, and Sakura could only sigh softly and close her eyes. Unless she included someone who was supposed to, in time, mean so very much to her. The stares of other elves burned into her, scorching her with their judgement and scorn she could feel wafting from them in waves. Golden eyes looked down at her then, one equally golden brow arching up in question. Sakura ignored the curious look and the unspoken encouragement for an answer, instead focusing on the destination which loomed before them like the looming jaws of misery and torment waiting to descend upon her and only her. She was, in the end, the one who had to prove herself worthy in the eyes of elves. Sakura only wondered how many thousands of years such a thing might take her, and a war of whether it was worth it or not began once more within.
Eyes roamed over her, her skin prickling beneath the feel of those stares, her shoulders squared as best as they could, even as she held her soulmate's arm and wondered why she had gone along with such a thing. Such a farce as the situation before her. Another sigh escaped her then, soft and so very long at the feeling of all those stares and all the myriad of emotions swirling in the air around her, a tingle on her tongue. "Rude," came a voice, her sharp, chakra enhanced ears picked up, and her shoulders sunk at that. What part of sighing at them all came off as being rude? A wry smile curved at her lips, mostly invisible to others as it always was. Ah, she was still not great with interacting with people in those lands. Sakura knew who to thank for that – the same as for most of the rest of her incompetence in that land. The ones who had shunned her so and kept her from normal conversation at almost every turn.
Sakura sighed yet again, staring straight ahead, towards the table she presumed to be their destination, ignoring the new murmurs that brought. Golden eyes cut over to the group chattering about her the loudest, a group whose words she probably wouldn't have been able to hear without her chakra enhancement, narrowing then, and Sakura's lips only curved up by the slightest of amounts as that particular conversation faded away. Indignation rose in the air though in response, and Sakura felt a wave of frustration and her own flavour of indignation overcome her then, old and familiar as those feelings were. Nothing was going to be different compared to Fornost Erain. Sadril was already steadily ignoring her, focused on her food instead, rather than her and her soulmate's entrance into the room. It didn't give her much hope for the future, for her apparent future happiness with the being meant to complete her in ways she knew not.
"How could there be a comparison, let alone a matching between them?" another voice sounded, and Sakura moved towards the seat Glorfindel directed her to. Erestor looked up from where he sat to her left, her soulmate on her right, Lord Elrond beyond him, and Sakura could only stare blandly at the position she had been given to sit herself in. Undoubtedly—"beyond her," someone finished off for her quietly in the far reaches of the hall – evidently well beyond the hearing range of elves, or perhaps her soulmate had opted to ignore the words. Sakura wasn't sure, though she liked to think it would be the former rather than the latter. Food appeared before her while she had been zoned out, too focused on eavesdropping on the rest of the hall there, and Sakura only mumbled a thank you and ate as carefully and gracefully as she was capable of. Eyes were fixed on her, judging her technique and grace, and Sakura knew she was found lacking, if the whispers and the emotions and feelings of those in that place were anything to go off of.
Glorfindel had been lying through his teeth when he said she would be welcomed there. Or maybe he had been naïve or so very trusting in whatever good side he saw in his own people. She wanted to think it was the latter, but maybe that was the matter of soulmates and what they were supposed to mean clouding her thoughts. "Time," she told herself. "Give it time," she murmured, hating the way those golden eyes turned to her, sorrow, shame, and disappointment racing through him at her words. Sakura wondered if she ought to feel anything in regards to causing such feelings within him. Part of her felt as though she was the very antithesis of a soulmate when it came to Glorfindel. Soulmates were meant to make each other so very happy, but all she had evoked in him were the opposite kind of emotions. Her shoulders drooped at the thought and reminder of how much of a failure she was when it came to everything. She had failed to save her friends. Failed to avenge them. Failed in blending in with the locals of that place. Failed to make her soulmate happy, the way soulmates were supposed to. Agony and misery welled up within her at those thoughts, heart aching in reminder of her losses and how she was cast adrift in an unknown sea without anchor or shore. She turned her head, glancing at her soulmate on her right, wondering then if perhaps, in time, he would come to be one or the other. She could only hope that would work out as such.
"I believe that is all we can do," Glorfindel murmured softly beside her. "You will have to adjust to Imladris…"
"And Imladris will have to adapt to my being here," she finished, finishing the rest of her breakfast miserably – the majority of it having been spent in awkward silence between Erestor's attempts to engage her in conversation and Glorfindel's own attempts, both of which had been stymied by the fact her stomach felt like a bag of wriggling worms. Well, that and the fact that every word she seemed to speak made her fall lower in the eyes of the illustrious population of Imladris. Ever welcoming the elves of Imladris were. Some part of her remembered them being noted by scholars as the most welcoming of all elven realms left in that marred world. How lucky it was her soulmate dwelled there rather than in the Golden Wood of Lothlórien. Otherwise her experience likely would have been that much more painful and fun in its own special way. And she probably would have snapped and done something even more stupid than threatening the kin of her soulmate before her said soulmate. She let out a low breath at that, concentrating on her surroundings then rather than the thoughts raging about within her mind.
"Arrogant," the whispered word reached her ears, and Sakura rolled her eyes at it. Nothing she hadn't heard before. A snort escaped her at the thought, mouth curling up in a smile. It was almost bitterly nostalgic – the way it stirred up a surge of anger, her unruly temper flaring for once after years upon years of her quashing it down. Sakura supposed she could blame the most recent turn of events, what with being shipped off to an elven realm with her equally elven soulmate. That would be enough to fray even the mildest of tempers. And hers decidedly wasn't particularly mild. Kaguya, the rest of her old world, and the three idiots who had tried to harm her person in that world could attest to that. Her temper was a volatile, dangerous thing, and not merely because it stirred up the trees. As it was, Sakura sat back, preventing that anger from leaking out into her chakra and making trees and vines seek to take the life of the ones who had stirred her wrath – that would hardly make a good impression, and a good impression was that which she needed, though that which she likely wouldn't be able to make, what with how the deck of cards had been stacked against her.
A hum escaped her, capturing her soulmate's attention in an instant. "Tell me," she said, letting her eyes roam over the hall and its current occupants, meeting those judging eyes which found her so very lacking. She could pinpoint the speaker of those words in a heartbeat, sharp and well trained as her hearing and pinpoint positioning with said hearing were. "Would it be particularly arrogant to assume the residents of Imladris will have to adjust to there being a human in their midst?" she asked, ensuring her voice carried across the hall, turning to face her soulmate then, an eyebrow raised in question. The confusion on his face and that which radiated through him only proved he hadn't heard the whispered comment. Her hearing was sharper than an elf's when she wanted it to be. And wasn't that a lovely thought?
"No," Glorfindel said, and Sakura pulled her eyes from those magnetic golden ones, turning them back upon the grey set of the one who had called her arrogant. "That would hardly be arrogance, merely common sense."
"I see," she remarked, locking eyes with the one who had declared her arrogant for her words, raising her drink to her lips and sipping from it as she did. It probably wouldn't make the slightest bit of difference to their opinions on her unworthiness, but it made her feel ever so slightly better. Petty point made, she sat back, making herself as comfortable as possible even as she ate, trying to imitate her soulmate still. She hardly wanted to look like an uncultured barbarian amidst the elves. Besides, it would only make talk worse and Sakura was so very tired of that aspect of it all. Was it too much to want them all to shut up? But people would talk regardless of whether or not she liked it, and she didn't want to try and shove her hands over her ears and ignore it all. It would be just like the way she had hidden behind Naruto's and Sasuke's backs all those years ago.
"Why do you ask?" he questioned, looking at her still, and Sakura could only shrug beneath that curious stare, something like relief flooding through her at the thought he either couldn't hear those hurtful words. Well, either that or he was ignoring them for one reason or another, benevolent or malicious as those intentions could be. He continued staring at her, even as silence hung in the air between them for a few more moments before she decided she ought to reply.
"I have sharp ears," she said, and she felt a smile curl on her lips. But it was no pleasant, happy smile. Rather it was a cruel, vicious smile meant to be all teeth, bite, and promise. Part of her couldn't deny how wonderful the shudders of the elf who had called her arrogant were.
Amusement suffused through the air, and Sakura blinked at that, what with that being something she had not expected in the slightest following her words. Her eyes narrowed, stiffening as she met Sadril's stare, a smile upon her lips, and she could only frown and turn her attention away from the only elleth she was really familiar with by that point.
Glorfindel hummed softly under his breath, capturing her attention instead, and Sakura could feel his confusion at her admission. Though that was fine. She was used to being misunderstood – used to being underestimated. Her soulmate thought her harmless, or he had until the night previous. Sakura wasn't sure where his viewpoint on the topic of how very dangerous she was stood anymore. She wasn't entirely sure whether or not she wanted to find out.
"Tell me," she said, concentrating on her breakfast then, already knowing she would need strength, whether physical or mental, for the days to come. "What am I to be doing today?" she asked, raising an eyebrow as she looked over at him.
"Would you like me to tell you of your schedule then?" he asked, and Sakura only nodded in response, not needing words. She was far more used to nods and gestures than speaking. "Very well," he said, nodding once then. "You are to meet with Carwegeth following breakfast here, and you will show her your level of skill regarding your craft. After such a time, all following events will depend on whether Carwegeth decides to take you on as an apprentice. We may discuss this more at lunch or perchance dinner, depending on how long the lady keeps you for."
"I see," she mumbled, musing on her fate being decided by another. Something she was quite used to in those lands by then. "We will have to see how everything plays out…"
"Indeed we will," he murmured in response, and that was about it for their breakfast time conversation. Then the rest of Imladris and Carwegeth awaited her.
Carwegeth was taller than her, as most elves there were, her hair a burnished shade of red, her eyes the colour of storm clouds. They were set perhaps just slightly too far apart to be considered a classical beauty by the standards of Fornost Erain which she had grown so very used to, but she was pretty all the same. Sakura could only wonder how she would look to them all, free of the disguise she wore, different and unearthly there as she might well have been. Her stomach twisted nervously, and Sakura looked away then. Scaredy-cat, the ghost of Sasuke whispered again, threatening to take her mind back to those days when whiskered cheeks had grinned, blue eyes full of life and promise, black eyes marred by hatred and obsession and yet so blissfully vibrant and alive. "I greet you, Lothris of the Desert," Carwegeth said, staring down at her with those stormy grey eyes which made Sakura rather wish she was anywhere but there. Scaredy-cat, Sasuke echoed.
Her shoulders sunk. "Well met," she remarked, not knowing what else to say bar that – because that was something the people of those lands said after being greeted or introduced. Whether such a response was taken well was another matter entirely, what with the curiosity, annoyance, and tiredness radiating from the elleth before her. It wasn't a combination which boded well, and even her soulmate could seemingly figure out that much, likely thanks to being far more well versed in the art of reading elves like textbooks. A skill Sakura rather hoped she would be able to develop, if only because merely sensing the emotions of the soul didn't always give a clear picture of the situation. See, Naruto's ghost whispered, they might not be hating you, you know! Sakura gritted her teeth at that, lamenting on how very foolish, hopeful, and naïve that ghost of the past was. But that had been Naruto, and Naruto had always somehow managed to make things work. But you aren't Naruto, are you? a snide voice muttered in the back of her head, ever reminding her of that infallible truth.
"Today will be but an assessment of the skills you have gained thus far," Carwegeth said, smiling at her pleasantly. Nothing but a pretty mask. "I wish to see your skills with stitching and embroidery this morning," she remarked, and Sakura could only blithely look over the small work desk which had been set out for her. "Depending on how you fare, I will decide whether or not to take you on as an apprentice, and should you be successful…" Carwegeth trailed off, scepticism in her skills and abilities far too prevalent in that long pause. "Then I will introduce you to the styles of dress within Imladris."
Sakura hummed in acknowledgement, nodding to her soulmate then as he lingered in the doorway for all but a moment longer. Then he was gone, golden hair blown behind, practically glowing in the light of the sun flooding through the doorway as he left without another word. "How long do I have?" she asked, staring at the array of threads and fabrics before her. They were fancier than anything she had to work with previously, but undoubtedly scrap materials. It was far too telling of the standards she would be expected to live up to, and she felt a well of dread rise up once more. Elven standards would undoubtedly be different to Fornost Erain's. But she had been good by human standards… She swallowed back her nervousness, pushing it to one side as she chose a simple black thread and began her stitching, the motions all but ingrained into her body by that point.
"Until the lunch bell rings," Carwegeth announced, retreating to another work desk which was so much larger than her own – proof of who was the master and who was the hopeful apprentice.
She shrugged at that, knowing that would be a few hours away at least, what with how she had only just finished breakfast. "Will anything I do impress you?" she asked, busying herself with her chosen thread, stitching the many stitches she had learnt over the few years she had been a seamstress' underling.
"It depends," she murmured, and Sakura only frowned at that, trying to understand the confusing tumble of emotions which wafted from the older lady. Part of her was undeniably curious about exactly how old Carwegeth was, but Sakura knew that would be rude to ask. Probably. Just like how it was rude to ask about someone's soulmate when one wasn't close to the other being asked. Not that Sakura thought it would stop anyone from gossiping about her and Glorfindel behind her back.
"On what?" she asked, soothing herself by going through motions which were so familiar to her.
"How long have you been sewing and embroidering for?" Carwegeth asked, and Sakura felt those eyes bore into her back then once more. They rarely seemed to leave it, and she mused on how she must have been like a fascinating insect for the elves to study as she continued her work. "Most begin their apprenticeships when they are very young in the human realms, or so I have heard…"
"Roughly seven years," Sakura said, wondering if any of her neat – by human standards, that was – stitches would impress the other. Sceptical as ever, another ghost of her past whispered, and her shoulders sunk. "I am a foreigner – you should be aware of that by now. You greeted me as 'Lothris of the Desert' after all…"
Those grey eyes were fixed on her back once more, even as she worked quietly. "Were you not a seamstress in the desert lands? In Haradwaith?"
A smile curved at her lips then, the bitterness seeping through as always as she remembered the only memories she had of the desert. That of bloodied sands and corpses. "No," she answered, clenching her fist then as she paused in her work, remembering the feeling of blood, warm and sticky, coating her fists. "I was… something else," she mumbled, involuntary shivers taking a hold of her then as she remembered the deaths, the blood, the moon rabbit, the pale eyes, and the silvery light which had illuminated it all before she was thrown away from that place so cruelly and casually.
"Why did you not simply continue with your earlier trade?" Carwegeth asked, curiosity and disapproval radiating from her then. "Are the whims of mortals and their trades truly so very fickle?"
"I suppose elves prefer to master just one then," Sakura said, musing on how long of a life that would be. "If one can master anything…"
"Were you good at your last craft?" Carwegeth asked, seemingly trying to make conversation rather than allow for the tense, awkward silence to fill the room as it threatened to do more and more as time passed.
"Yes," she said, continuing in her stitching, not wanting to linger on the memories of her last craft. Bloodstained hands and warmongering were not things which would have been well accepted coming from her. You could heal too, a traitorous part of her whispered, her confidence in that having fled long ago along with Naruto's life beneath her hands. "But it was not… a sought after craft in these lands, nor would they have permitted a foreigner such as myself to partake…" she continued, trailing off at that, unsure of what else she could say on that particular matter.
Carwegeth hummed, interest peaked, and Sakura's shoulders could only sink at the thought of an elf being interested in her previous craft. It would probably slip at some point – the secret, that was – as all of them were wont to. "I will keep in mind your inexperience," she murmured, and Sakura only nodded to herself at that and went back to trying to do her best stitching. Silence fell between them, the rustling of fabric telling of the fact that Carwegeth was busying herself with her own work. Sakura only mentally shrugged at that, musing on how it was better than the tense, awkwardness of before that conversation had taken place.
It wasn't like she had expected any conversation in the first place. It wasn't like she had expected anything beyond insults and veiled scepticism and judgement of her capabilities. And so Sakura thought she could consider herself pleasantly surprised by the turn of events up until that moment. Her lips curled upwards ever so slightly for the briefest of moments, before she reminded herself it was probably best to not let that lift her hopes for a drastic change in how she was viewed.
The feeling of silky fabric beneath her fingers and the repetitive motion calmed her then, and Sakura hummed softly under her breath – that being something she only did on occasions when she wasn't told to immediately shut up as many were wont to do back when she had lived in Fornost Erain. It was strange to think on just how quickly her situation had been turned on its head and now she was at best a pseudo resident of Imladris. Sakura only thanked her lucky stars that she had learnt Sindarin when she had, otherwise she had a feeling her adjustment would not have gone half as well as it had. And considering how very low her standards were for 'going well'… She tilted her head at that, a soft chuckle escaping her at the thought, stopping all too abruptly at the unsettled feeling which washed over her skin. Not her own unsettlement, she realised a few moments later, lapsing back into silence immediately. Laughing randomly and out of nowhere was undoubtedly creepy and unsettling. More so probably when it came from her, or so she mused as she stitched, her movements quick and precise from practice. Of course her finger dexterity and movement speed had only been aided by her previous craft, silent and seemingly forgotten as it was in that instant.
"Lothris," Carwegeth spoke then, and Sakura startled at that, biting back a curse as the needle pricked her finger all of a sudden. Scowling at the bead of blood welling up she set it down, sticking her finger in her mouth then. "Forgive me for startling you while you were so very focused on your work," she said, sounding and feeling eerily apologetic. It wasn't something she felt often directed towards herself.
"What is it?" she asked, licking clean any remnants of blood as she glanced at her already wholly healed finger, praying Carwegeth didn't try to pry or treat her supposed injury which had just up and vanished into smoke. Like they pretty much always did. It was just another fact of life – she healed quickly, whether she liked it or not, whether or not it was something normal humans did there. The same normal humans she wanted to be just like.
"Are you quite alright?" Carwegeth questioned.
Sakura nodded, grunting in affirmation that she was indeed just fine. It would take far more than a needle and a pinprick to take her down. If anything actually could. Not that her own seeming invulnerability was particularly helpful then and there. "What were you going to ask?" she rephrased, looking up from her work to meet those grey ones which stared into her levelly.
"While a great deal of importance lies with your skill in regards to becoming my apprentice," she said, stating a fact unlike the interrogation Sakura had been expecting, "we would also need to be compatible personality-wise, should you truly wish to study under me."
Her teeth ground together at that, and she tore her eyes away from those grey ones. "Is there even a point to this meeting and assessment of sorts then?" she asked, reigning in the stirrings of anger which were swiftly replaced by a dull numbness to it all. She was far too used to prejudice and unthinking hatred directed towards her. "I am well aware of the suspicion and derision cast upon my character." Undue suspicion – all because she supposedly came from the desert. Not that she had tried to correct them on such a fact. She hadn't thought it would matter either way. It certainly hadn't mattered to the rest of Fornost Erain. "I am under no delusions that you will hold similar views of me, if only because you do not know me."
"Then help me to," Carwegeth said swiftly, and Sakura paused at that in her entirety.
She blinked slowly, a long, languid blink more suited to a cat rather than the normal human she was trying to be there. "You… wish to know more about… me?"
"That is what I said, did I not?" she stated, like she was the one being slow and stupid. And to be fair, she probably was being just that. Carwegeth had stated quite plainly that she wanted to 'get to know her' beyond the baseless rumours and whispers about her person undoubtedly spreading. Sakura had the oddest of feelings that elves likely enjoyed a good bit of gossip – and she herself was undoubtedly a tasty morsel of just that. "Pay attention now, Lothris," she said snappishly, voice cutting through the haze which had swaddled her then, and Sakura stirred herself from her daze.
"Yes. Right – yes. You want to know more about me…" she mumbled, feeling alarmingly naked all of a sudden as she sat there, mulling over the odd turn of events. Sakura didn't quite know what she had been expecting – probably to be kicked out of the running for the apprenticeship or laughed at for thinking she could obtain such a thing – but it wasn't certainly the seeming openness Carwegeth was displaying right then. "Is there anything in particular you wish to know about me?" she asked. "I am not entirely sure where to start…"
Carwegeth tilted her head, looking at her plaintively. "Your homeland – the desert," she said. "Tell me of it. That is as good a place as any to begin."
Her heart ached at that, and Sakura frowned. "My homeland is nothing but dust and ashes, and the friends I once had there are nothing more than bones," she said, the words ringing in her ears, the harsh truth she was ever reminded of finally out in the open for another to hear. "There is nothing left for me in the past. I only have what is before me now…"
"Before it was dust and ash though," Carwegeth said, looking at her own table, unable to meet her eyes for one reason or another and Sakura felt the odd brush of familiarity and sorrow brush against her as the elleth frowned, caught up in her thoughts. "Tell me of your homeland as you best remember it… and the friends you once had…"
Sakura felt her teeth grit together at that. "Why would I want to do such a thing?" she demanded, anger stirring, volatile and violent as ever. "Rake open the wounds which have barely healed as it is… and what for? For your own curiosity?" she hissed, a snarl on her lips, the wounded, vicious part of her stirring and urging to rip into the elleth then and there, whether with words or teeth.
"Because it would seem we have more in common than I would have thought," Carwegeth answered levelly, and Sakura felt her mouth shut with an audible click as she turned to face the elleth then. Her anger went from boiling to a mere simmer in the blink of an eye. She felt like a bucket of cold water had been thrown over her. See, Sakura-chan, Naruto's ghost whispered in her ear as if to add insult to injury. They're not all out to get you. A choked hum of acknowledgement escaped her at that, and those grey eyes finally lifted from the desk before her, meeting her green ones, solemn and unflinching. "You would have learnt of events of our past eventually. I do not quite see the point in delaying the inevitable. Not when our history reveals that perhaps we are not so dissimilar as either of us might like to think."
She fidgeted in her chair, the looming prospect of opening up to another suddenly before her, and Sakura found her mouth refusing to move – refusing to say the words to describe or explain about her past and why it was so very different. Carwegeth still had her feet on familiar soil. She wasn't quite on familiar soil. She hadn't grown up on it or beneath those stranger stars which twinkled merrily in the skies above.
"I was born in a place called Eregion," Carwegeth said, and Sakura could only frown at the unfamiliar name. There was undoubtedly plenty to learn about elves, and she had little doubts that she would soon be having such vital information drilled into her brain. Unless they wanted to keep her stupid and foolish that was. So they could continue to call her uncultured and all other manner of labels they had already undoubtedly plastered upon her. "It is a name only mentioned in history books in this age," she continued, and Sakura was once again reminded of how old elves were. Truly, she felt like a baby in comparison. She felt small. Sakura didn't like feeling small. "It's ruins but a place to be passed through quickly if one must pass through at all."
Grey eyes locked back on her, a shiver running down her spine before she pushed aside that pathetic fear. It wasn't like speaking about her past would change it at all, no matter how much she wished upon a shooting star. Her hands clenched into fists, shaking then as her mind went to war with itself then, the prospect of disclaiming the desert as her seeming homeland, the opportunity to make an elf think better of her, the memories of failed attempts at explanations to those of Fornost Erain, and the habit of keeping herself to herself all coming to a head within her brain.
"I believe that is your cue," Carwegeth chimed in. "For you to say the name of your city and perhaps a little description of what it has become to yourself and others." She clicked her tongue then. "I would rather not talk to a brick wall, and I would not have the referenced brick wall become my apprentice!"
"Give me a moment, would you?" Sakura bit back, temper rearing its ugly head once more. "I… I… I am not… accustomed… to opening up to others," she stuttered, cursing her incompetence when it came to general conversation. She hadn't stuttered since she was a tiny child being bullied for the size of her forehead of all things. "Others have laughed in my face when I have tried to tell them… of things like you wish me to speak of… Some did not even bother to hear me out and walked away instead." She tore her eyes away from those grey ones which betrayed absolutely none of the whirlwind of pity, annoyance, and sympathy which raged within. Sakura wasn't quite sure what she felt about that maelstrom of emotions. She wasn't quite sure she wanted to make sense of them. The truth would probably only hurt her anyway.
Carwegeth sighed softly, the sound almost inaudible. "I am here, and I am not about to walk away," she said flatly, sitting back in her chair then, her arms folded across her chest as those grey eyes bore into her with the force of one of her own punches. "There is still much I have yet to figure out about you – such as whether you would be the most ideal apprentice for me, or whether you would be a terrible thorn in my side. Though I would rather hope I would be able to get to the bottom of this mystery sooner rather than later." Green met grey, and Sakura stopped cowering from her gaze, mentally preparing herself as best she could.
Sakura sighed then, her stomach feeling like a mess of knots and tangles as she sucked in a shallow breath. "The place I lived before… it was named Konohagakure in my old tongue – meaning, 'The Village Hidden in the Leaves'," she explained, nostalgia and wistfulness threatening to well up and flood through her as she thought of those trees swaying in the summer winds blows up from Sunagakure. She could almost hear the sound of cicadas echoing in her ears, like they had used to when she and Naruto had gone to train in the old training ground after he had come home. But Naruto was dead, and he wasn't going to miraculously come back this time around. "Though by now it is nothing but ruin and ashes. A place of corpses and rot. No one will ever pass through the gates of Konohagakure ever again, least of all me," she finished with a murmur, thoughts straying back to those pale lavender eyes which had stared down at her, inhuman and unfeeling before she was cast from her world, never to return.
"Leaves?" Carwegeth echoed, confusion marring her brow. "The desert does not have leaves…"
"No," Sakura said, a smile pulling at her lips then and there. "It does not…" she murmured, trailing off at that with a wistful sigh.
"You cannot hail from these lands," Carwegeth mumbled, teeth biting down on her lip, face twisted in thought. "You have an accent, faint as it is now, and you spoke a complete different language upon your entry to these lands, or so the tales I have heard say…"
"Call it a mystery and be done with it," Sakura grumbled, knowing neither Carwegeth or any of the other elves would ever be able to come to the correct conclusion that she was a world-hopping foreigner. The possibility and probability of such a thing happening likely hadn't even crossed their minds, and Sakura was quite content for it to stay that way. After all, all she wanted was to blend in with it all there. She wasn't special, nor was she all powerful, and the trail of bodies of friend and foe left in her wake all but attested to such a fact. "Does the logic of it all truly matter? Or would you rather swap tales as you were so inclined to do only a moment ago?"
She felt the eyes on her before she stopped and turned to face the owner of those increasingly familiar golden eyes. "I see the lady has let you out for lunch," Glorfindel said, an easy smile coming to his lips. Sakura wished smiles were that simple for her too.
"That she has," she replied, blinking at the proffered arm for a few seconds before she took it with as much casual grace as she could muster. Truly, she felt like a new-born foal compared to the elves. Though that was something she hoped would pass in good time. She had plenty of that stretched out before her, after all.
"Has she come to a decision as of yet?" he asked, glancing down at her as he led her someplace new – not that it was really that much of a surprise. She didn't even know where her own rooms were located corresponding to her current location. She had barely been there for an entire day. "I believe she informed me she would come to a decision as to what to do with you by such a point," he said. "Would you indulge me of Carwegeth's decision? There are other options, though Carwegeth is one of the most regarded amongst my kin in your trade…"
Sakura pulled her gaze away from those golden, almost magnetic, eyes and her soulmate frowned then.
"I see…"
"She said she would like a little more time," she informed him, not sure what to feel about how him seemingly leaping to the conclusion that Carwegeth had refused her. Though that could still happen. It wasn't like anything was set in stone, unlike how it would have been if Naruto had been in her shoes. He would have charmed the elves in minutes and had them practically worshiping the ground he walked on days later. Her teeth clenched, nostalgia and longing nearly overcoming her once again, and Sakura cursed the conversation she had with Carwegeth. Talking about the past hadn't been particularly cathartic. Rather, it had felt like someone was digging a knife into her chest and gouging her heart out slowly and painfully. She had managed to keep those sensations locked within her chest though, unlike the wafts of changing emotions which had radiated from the being who was many times her age.
"That is… more than I expected, given…" Glorfindel trailed off, shame coursing through him, and Sakura could only raise an eyebrow at that. "I had thought Imladris would be more welcoming of you. Though as of late, I have come to realise that perhaps that is not quite so. You have my apologies for that."
Humming under her breath, a miserable smile curled at her lips, a humourless chuckle escaping them. "I take it you have heard talk and gossip of me then," she remarked. "Of how I do not measure up to the many standards placed upon your soulmate…"
Glorfindel remained silent, his face pensive, the emotions beneath the façade a storm of darkness, the almost ever present disappointment lingering there. "How is it that you came to hear such malicious whispers before even I?" he asked, the words little more than a whisper as he led her past the dining hall she was fairly sure they had their breakfast in earlier. "I was not even aware of these so-called standards myself."
"Because I have ears and I know how to use them," she informed him tartly, earning another too easily given smile from him then, even as doubt and scepticism flashed amidst the maelstrom of emotion within. After all, how could a mere human have better ears than an elf?
"I will have words—"
Sakura sighed sharply. "That would do more harm than good," she said, closing her eyes then and pinching her brow. She could picture the fallout on her after such a scenario, and it wasn't something she wanted to deal with. "Their malice and condescension is placed upon me because I am no good in their eyes. I am unworthy of you. An arrogant little chit who has no place here in their eyes. You telling them that I belong here will not change anything. Rather it will likely make them think I hide behind you, further cementing the idea that I am unworthy – that all I can do is hide in your shadow, and I have the strangest of inklings that your shadow is vast in their eyes." His very presence suggested that much, strong as it was to her eyes and her standards.
Glorfindel frowned. "How is it you seem to have a better grasp of the minds of my own kin compared to myself?" he murmured, continuing to lead her off to a far more quiet place compared to the bustling dining hall they had passed. "You have not been around my kin for long…"
"You see the best in your kin," she explained, knowing all the while the question likely hadn't wanted an answer. "I do not. It is as simple as that."
"Though that is no reason to let such treatment stand," he stated, something hardening in those golden eyes of his as he stared down at her, pausing outside a door in a part of the main house of Imladris that she didn't unsurprisingly recognise.
Sakura felt herself sigh yet again. "Truly," she said, shaking her head, "you are undoubtedly a noble one – to think you would attempt to stand up for me, the very same person who threatened your kin the night before… but I do not need you to be some champion of justice for me," she remarked, eyeing the door that they were undoubtedly going to go through once her soulmate decided to drop the matter of his kindred's adverse reaction to her. "I am used to such treatment. All you need to do is stop me should I snap and go on a rampage. I can handle the rest."
"But—"
"We are little more than strangers. Acquaintances who just happen to be soulmates, if you must," she stated, drawing her hand back from his arm. "I hardly want you to champion all my battles for me. That would all but confirm your kin's current perception of me."
Golden eyes darted onto her then, pulling their gaze up from the floor. "Is that truly what you wish?" he asked, frustration and confusion swirling within. "Or is it just thanks to the constraints my kin have forced upon you with their words and actions?"
"It is what I wish," she grumbled, scowling at the disappointment and frustration which lingered still. "Perhaps you were expecting a fair little innocent maiden who you would protect from all the evils of the world – though I feel I should say this: I do not match that definition in the slightest. Kindly do not treat me as such."
His frown only deepened and he opened the door, revealing a little dining space overlooking one of the many courtyards of Imladris, furnished simply and elegantly, as she was coming to expect from the elves of Imladris. A fountain gurgled below, the sound oddly soothing to her even as Glorfindel guided her to one of the wrought iron seats complete with a cream cushion, indicating for her to sit while he took the sole chair opposite her, staring at her then as he sat down. "Then I will endeavour not to do as such," he said, but the words felt so very empty to her, the confusion and other stirrings of similar emotions backing up her musings then and there.
Sakura shrugged. "Shall we move onto a lighter topic of conversation, perhaps?" she offered, unsurprised when her soulmate consented with but an incline of his head. "Such as what we are doing for lunch?"
"Lady Celebrían was kind enough to arrange for us to eat separately from the others," he said, gesturing to their surroundings. "She felt as though perhaps it would allow us to converse and connect better than say, in the midst of a large group of my kinfolk who would undoubtedly judge your every action – or so I am learning."
"You are highly regarded amongst your people," Sakura mumbled, unsure as to why she was then defending the actions of the elves towards her. Though she supposed that was part of how she dealt with it all. She rationalised it from the perspectives of others, if only to try and make it feel as though it wasn't entirely her fault. "It is only natural there would be expectation placed upon your apparent other half."
"I thought you had said we would move onto a lighter topic of conversation?" he said, and Sakura blinked at the realisation of the teasing tone in his voice, the smile on his face softer than the one of a few minutes before.
Sakura chuckled breathlessly at that. "You were the one who diverted the flow of conversation back onto the topic we are now seemingly trying to avoid."
"It would likely be the best for the both of us to avoid such a topic… perhaps until the situation dies down," he remarked, everything unsaid only indicating towards their shared scepticism of such a situation happening. Or at least, if it did indeed happen, it would be well off in the future.
"Well," she mumbled, wracking her brain for another topic of conversation, wincing at the awkward words which left her mouth next. "We could go over what I am to be doing for the next few days?" she offered, tensing then as someone entered their private little space, blinking then in surprise as their lunch was served then. She wasn't used to being waited on like some sort of princess. Or a so-called 'ward of the king'.
"That we could," Glorfindel said. "Though your schedule in the coming days will be dependent on who takes you on as an apprentice, if any of them deign to do so," he added, his frown returning for a split second before his familiar smile returned. The same smile he always wore. "Then you will take up your craft here in Imladris, though the materials you have to work with will likely be different compared to that which you worked with in Fornost Erain…"
"I have little doubt of that," she mumbled, thinking of the difference in the practice scraps of material she had on which to show her stitches. "From the little I saw while… working with Carwegeth, I have little doubts the styles and standards will be different to what I am used to. Though I like to think I will be able to adapt to this fairly quickly." After all, she had only taken several years to accustom herself and resign herself to the fact that she had been shunted from one world to another, learn the language, and sort of blend in with the rest of the humans as well as possible for her. Adjusting to Imladris, in comparison, should have been relatively more simpler, or so Sakura mused to herself even as she began making headway in eating her lunch.
She was to be back with Carwegeth after lunch unless things changed without rhyme or reason, and Sakura wasn't sure if she was ready for more questions and more explanations of where she had come from. Her past only brought bitter, biting memories to the surface, and Sakura wasn't entirely sure of how well she would hold out with dealing with raw wounds on top of the scepticism and derision of the elves.
"I confess, I do not know much about tailoring and the like," Glorfindel said. "Just as you do not know much about strategy, patrol, and war," he added, blithely continuing on speaking, heedless of the laughter that wanted to escape her at that. Oh she knew far too much about war and strategy. "Though I would not mind learning more. Is there a particular style of dress you are fond of? Do you have a preferred colour to wear? I, myself, am quite partial to golds and greens, no matter the memories associated with such colours of dress," he remarked, and Sakura wisely didn't ask the question which came to mind at that.
"The style of dress I am fond of…" she trailed off, thinking fondly of kimonos and the casual wear she had donned before – styles which would undoubtedly be foreign and likely unaccepted, especially the latter, there. "It no longer exists," she said, not wanting to muse on its death alongside everything else. "As for colours I am partial to… reds and silvers," she said, thinking on how their tastes in colours and clothing styles were undoubtedly opposites. Elves were not fond of showing much skin in public, and the clothes she had once been so very used to had been designed for ease of mobility rather than modesty. The latter generally wasn't something shinobi had in spades, considering their trade and what they dealt in. Though she had long since learned it after years spent in those lands.
"If the style is that of your homeland, could you not recreate it here?" he asked, tilting his head in question, even as they ate their lunch together, maintaining a semblance of pleasant conversation. Something which was difficult for her, though that came as no surprise, what with her lacking social skills which had eroded over time in Fornost Erain. But that would hopefully come back eventually – ideally before she put her foot in her mouth again, or so she hoped as she set her cutlery down, lunch finished and her thoughts drifting to Carwegeth and the possibility of an apprenticeship with her which loomed over her head.
"I doubt it would be accepted," she mumbled, resting her chin in the palm of her hand as she looked down into the courtyard, focusing on and admiring the view of that. Rather than the sight of her soulmate sitting opposite her. "Besides," she said, smiling as best as she could. It felt so plastic and fake. "It would not help me adapt to life here."
"Are you to adapt to Imladris," Glorfindel murmured, looking at her puzzlingly, his words feeling like knives to her skin, "or is Imladris to adapt to you, I wonder?"
Sakura shrugged. "I guess we will just have to wait and see."