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Carlisle

As so often in history, it started insidiously.

Despite his flawless memory he could not pinpoint the exact moment as he realized it. He hat problably already known, but conscientious as he was, he ignored it. Hid it from the world, his family and mostly- himself.

After the shewolf told him about the imprint, he felt relieved. The emotion was quickly followed with compassion. It was a horrible though to be bound to your natural enemy- for all time.

His relief was easy explained. Since the fight with the newborns, his thoughts were circling around Leah and he could not understand why. At least that puzzle was solved.

Though he respected Leah, he had to tell the rest of the family about this change. After all, it would affect them all in one way or another.

It did suprise him however, how nonchalant his family reacted. Even Rosalie showed at least a bit compassion and Emmett, god bless him, made a cringy comment- as usual. "Cool, finally I get a pet."

Esme reacted as he knew she would. Her golden heart was open to every creature, even wolves.

Carlisle had hoped that the news would be received this well. He had to admit, that there was something there. He had no idea what it was but something fascinated him about Leah. Had he known, what this fascination would lead to, he would have stopped this train of thought right there.

He started to spend time with her.

Usually they walked around the reservate and she would tell him about her culture and life. He was beyond intrigued. His curiosity pushed him further and further and he asked more and more questions. It was a chance of a lifetime. No one of his kind had nor would ever have this opportunity.

Leah seemingly did not mind his questions. Which in hindsight, was no real suprise.

As her imprint he had special rights, not only regarding the reservate. It seems that evertime he asked her a question, she just had to answer.

For the Quileutes the imprinting was sacred. It was the strongest law, unbreakable. No one could hurt an imprint, it did not matter who or in this case what it was. Nethertheless Carlisle tried to make his visits as easy as possible. Which was not even necessary as the Quileutes seemed to avoid the Vampire. Not that he could blame them.

His first and last time in La Push was when he sealed the pact with Ephraim Black, so he was more than eager to visit the beautiful landscape again.

The sun was hiding behind the clouds, as usual there were heavy rainclouds in the horizon but they should have a few dry hours. The wind was cold and wet, not that he minded. But he guessed that their apperances were quite off- Leah wore a tank top and a short, with her changing already destroyed a lot of clothes. He was more incognito, at least he wore a jacket.

He told her about his transformation, about his decision to not harm humans and to not become the monster he was bound to be. He noticed how impressed she was and felt a strange pull in his guts. Eager he told her, that he had never drank human blood and smiled, as her eyes grew wide. It was as it would be really important to him, what she thought of him. Aprubtly he dismissed this thought and also the feeling he got, whenever her dark eyes looked at him.

It seemed as the sun won the fight and he could feel the warmth on his skin.

Leah stopped and stared at him. It was a look full of emotion and he could not keep his eyes of her. He was used to the show but he knew, that it was mesmerizing for someone who had never seen it. Patiently he waited and enjoyed the admiration in silence. Carlisle was not a vain man, he hat never seen himself als handsome or special. He knew however how he looked for a human, but that had only one purpose. It was to lure his prey and for that fact alone, he was repulsed by it.

But now it was different. He wondered, if she did see him as the nurses and suddenly he realized, that it was not the sun that warmed him. It was her.

In the corner of his eyes he saw a movement. It was her hand which twichted. It came closer and he could not do anything but stand still. Full of anticipation he waited.

As soon as she laid her hand on his cheek, his eyes were wide open with shock.

The warmth spread slowly, like honey, in his body. It started with his cheek, to his neck, torso and even to the fingers and toes. He could not compare it to the sun or fire, it was a warmth he did not felt for a few hundred years.

Jacobs skin burned. It was painful to touch him but Leahs Hand was just.. warm. Not only was her hand warm, he felt warm. As if their temperature matched. Carlisle wondered if that was the effect of the imprint. Was he supposed to feel that way?

"Wow."

Her voice was quiet, as if she was more talking to herself than to him. Carlisle did not really understand why this effected him the way it did. As soon as he opened his mouth, he felt his phone in his pocket.

Startled Leah pulled her hand away and he felt the cold creeping up his body.

"Yes?"

"Carlisle? Is everything alright?"

"Yes Alice. I am in La Push. Why?"

"Your future just vanished, Carlisle."

He exhaled loudly.

"That could mean anything. I am fine, I promise."

In her defense, alice hat warned him that her visions about him always changed. Of course she could not see Leah and her pack, so he was not really alarmed that she could occasionally not see him also.

After he ended the call, he looked at Leah. Apologetically the explained.

"Alice has visions about the future and she could not see me."

Leah stared at him.

"So she predicts the future?"

"Well yes and no. She sees the outcome of decisions people make. So it changes a lot. Also she cannot see yours or the other wolves, or anything that is connected with you."

He concludes and suddenly a thought crossed his mind.

"I have to go."

He had to leave. As soon as possible, before he would so or decide something, that would destroy everything he had build.

Carlisle ran for the thick forrest and the feeling that was growing with every step he took, confirmed his fear. The trees rushed in a blurr of green and brown next to him and the empty feeling started slowly to consume him. He recognized it, he had felt it before. It was the imprint. Frantically he shooked his head. He was married. He was happy. He had a family, a purpose, a life. He loved her, he loved his family, his life.

As he came closer to the house, he could already smell her. He slowed his pace and looked through the big windows. Emmett and Jasper played something and were in a heated discussion, Rosalie sat idly next to her mate and Esme looked at them with a motherly smile.

Esme.

He stared at her, at her soft features, her amber eyes. He should feel relief but as he continue to look at her, he only felt empty.

Of course she noticed him and as he made his way to her, he waited for the emptiness to leave but it only increased. She pulled him into a hug and he burried his face in her neck. He took a deep breath, still waiting to feel... something.

But he didn't.

The despair he felt was overwhelming. The only reason he was still standing and not falling apart, was Jasper. He controlled his feeling, helped him. He did not say anything, just stared at him silently as Emmett continued to explain to him, why he lost.

Esme asked him how his day went, she wanted to hear the storys of the Quileute. He felt guilty. He was not worth of her attention, her questions, her love.

At least Edward wasn't here.

Carlisle managed to smile and didn't move as Esme planted a soft kiss on his lips. Esme had safed him. She had pulled him out of his misery, out of his darkness. She gave him his family, something he never thought would be possible. He could not leave her, he would not leave her.