It had been three weeks since Robert had kissed Gibbs goodbye, in the middle of the night. The dreams had morphed into nightmares, every night he was blessed, every day he was haunted.
Robert was standing in the front of his mirror, he eyed himself with wary eyes. A beard had grown and the lines on his face had sunken in. He rubbed his face in an useless attempt to change... whatever.
The bracelet on his arm moved up and down and he suppressed the need to just scream.
As always, he mused if today was the day. The day he finally lost it.
Restlessly, he prowled through his apartment, not able to calm down. His mind was zapping through the memories of the person he had been, like a bored teen in front of a TV. He let himself drop to his couch and rubbed his face. He turned on the TV but wasn't watching at all. His eyes flickered to the drawer now and then but he forced himself to stay away.
He got up and went into the kitchen, opened the fridge and closed it again. He sat down at the piano but the only composition his hand could play he didn't want to hear.
After a few hours he finally was on the verge of a nervous breakdown, as so often lately.
Pointlessly, he was standing in the middle of his apartment as the anchor on TV caught his attention.
"The fearless passerby went in without thinking of any consequences." The anchor reported and Robert started to giggle. 'Without thinking of any consequences.'
So, fine, it was the day he would lose it but if he would then on his own fearless terms.
He started to prepare for his doom.
As the sun set he was in front of this goddamn house. He forcefully walked over and knocked on the door. It took a few long minutes until Gibbs was standing in front of him, looking dumbfounded.
"Tony? What…" Robert helt up his hand to stop him.
"Hi, my name is Robert." He introduced himself softly, seeing the hurt in the others' eyes. "And I'm here to ask you out."
Gibbs blinkend a few times but otherwise didn't move. Robert looked down at his suit and started to count the flowers in the bouquet he was holding to occupy his mind. After a few minutes he raised his eyes to look directly into Gibbs' blue ones, lifting up his brows he asked "Is the bouquet too much?"
Gibbs finally showed a sign of life. He looked down to the bunch of flowers and started to laugh wholeheartedly.
"Maybe a bit." He choked out while he was already laughing tears. Robert dropped the flowers on the ground.
"Listen, Gibbs. I still don't know how to be Tony but I know I can't get you out of my head. So if you are willing to risk it, I am." Robert watched Gibbs sobering up.
"I don't know." Gibbs scrutinized him. "Sure you want that?"
Robert held his gaze. "Do you really want me to rethink it?"
"Let me just get my shoes." Gibbs said and was gone faster than Robert could process the answer.
It was a short and quiet ride to the nice little restaurant Robert had picked. They made their way to a corner in the far end and got comfortable.
It was an enjoyable evening. Robert was surprised about the joking and laughing Gibbs in front of him. He was in such a contrast to the 'normal', closed off and grumpy Gibbs he'd met before. Robert could now understand how Tony could fall in love with him.
He loved all the wild stories Gibbs shared about their past years and listened with glee. In his stories, Tony sounded like a James Bond, a goofy James Bond but nonetheless a James Bond. Robert could feel how deeply Gibbs was in love with Tony and fear creeped up his spine.
Somewhere between the main course and dessert he couldn't hold back anymore.
"Gibbs, I need to ask you something." Robert watched the rest of his beer swirling in the glas he was clinging to. "What if I can't live up to your memories of Tony?"
Gibbs placed a hand on his and stroked his thumb over Robert's skin.
"For better or for worse. Anyway, forever." Gibbs' voice was soft and Robert finally dared to raise his gaze. "You are already so much more Tony than you think."
Gibbs smiled and gestured around. "Do you know where we are?"
Robert shook his head. "This is Tony's favorite restaurant. We order here at least once a week."
"I guess Tony had a good taste." Robert answered, not knowing what to say.
"He picked me." Gibbs stated emotionlessly. Robert looked at him and burst out laughing. Gibbs leaned back a pleased smile on his face. "Stop laughing, DiNozzo!"
But Robert couldn't stop. It was just so right and wrong at the same time.
Time flew by until the waiter politely shuffled them out of the door.
As they arrived back at Gibbs' house Robert escorted Gibbs to the door, not able to let him go, yet.
"I really did enjoy the dinner, thanks." Gibbs smiled. It seemed as if he was not sure how to go on. Robert had to grin at that. They stood there like teenagers on the first date, insecure and longing.
"How about a coffee?" Robert let a crooked smile show but was sure he couldn't hide behind it. "It seemed as if I developed the habit of drinking coffee in the middle of the night."
Robert rubbed his neck feeling not quite comfortable in the bright light of Gibbs' x-ray-vision.
"Sure." The intense eyes moved towards the house as Gibbs opened the door and Robert felt his tension slipping. Gibbs made a step inside and suddenly spun around. "You don't have to stay."
Robert rolled his eyes and invaded Gibbs' space holding the other man's gaze. "And if I want to?"
He wanted to stay. He wasn't able to leave right now but the lingering fear of the things to come slowly creeped into his mind.
'How can you two be so fearless?' - 'You don't think about the consequences.'
Robert smiled slightly. Fearless it was, then.
He let his hands rest on Gibbs' hips and forced him a few steps back. He closed the door behind him and leaned against it, pulling Gibbs near to him.
He placed his hands next to Robert's shoulders and braced himself at the door.
"Last chance to back out, Robert." Gibbs whispered, nearly touching Robert's lips with his while speaking. He watched the blue eyes mapping his face and smiled mockingly.
"I can't believe you really want to miss the opportunity to kiss me first this time. I mean Tony had to kiss you first as well." Gibbs' eyebrows rose as he fixed his gaze on Robert's eyes again.
"How do you know?" Robert saw the blue eyes sparkle with longing.
"I dream of a lot of cherry trees." Robert smiled darkly and tried to steal a little kiss but Gibbs moved just enough to be out of reach.
"Cherry trees, uh?" Gibbs smiled. Robert couldn't wipe the smile off of his face. All this felt just right. It was just right. Gibbs leaning against him, teasing him, touching him, torturing him. He bit his lip.
"Are you gonna make a move, love, or shall I go?" Robert grabbed the hem of Gibbs' shirt and pulled him just close enough to not touch his lips. Gibbs lifted one eyebrow and grinned devilishly. "Did you ever dream of a hot spring?"
Robert felt himself blush.
"I'll take that as a 'yes'" Gibbs' grin widened even more. Robert suppressed a moan as he saw the blue eyes flicker back to his lips. He closed his eyes and gulped.
Robert felt Gibbs' lips touching his tenderly and slowly melted into the kiss. A tingle spread from his face through his whole body. He let go of the fabric in his hand and slung his arms around Gibbs' neck.
The feeling of Gibbs' body pressed to him and the soft lips caressing his' tenderly, nearly overwhelmed him.
He felt Gibbs hand move along his sides and hummed low.
Slowly Gibbs backed away, studying him closely as if he waited for Robert to run.
In his foggy mind he nearly had to laugh. He softly freed himself and walked towards the stairs.
"Just be gentle. I'm kind of a virgin." He chuckled low. It seemed as if the words registered in Gibbs' mind only bit by bit. Robert was already halfway up the stairs as Gibbs got into motion.
Robert felt nervous. It was either all or nothing and it appeared as if he was in for all .
He shrugged off his jacket and let it drop to the side. As he had opened his cufflinks he felt Gibbs' hands coming around his waist from behind, while he kissed his neck. The warmth in Robert's stomach chased the last unpleasant feelings away. Gibbs' hands roamed up his sides and followed his arms down to his hands as Robert started to open the button on his dress shirt. Gibbs' fingertips left goosebumps along the way. Robert had closed his eyes, stopping any movement and simply savoring every little touch.
Gibbs froze as his hand reached his wrist. His fingers lingered on the bulge caused by the bracelet underneath Robert's shirt. Slowly Gibbs pushed the fabric away and let his fingers glide over the metal.
"You are wearing it?" The voice was low and colored with melancholy. Robert's eyes wandered to his held wrist and he sighed.
"Since we talked about the wedding." Robert fought against the lumb in his throat. "I... It felt as if it belonged there."
Gibbs placed a tender kiss on the inner side of his wrist right on the bracelet and sighed. He slowly placed more and more kisses along Robert's arm. As he reached his neck, Robert turned and drowned in the blue eyes. They sparked a volcano of emotions and he conquered the lips in front of him with force. He couldn't hold back anymore. Longing and lust made their way to the surface as Gibbs' tongue demanded entrance. He willingly gave in and moaned into the passionate kiss.
His already half hard cock twitched in excitement as he felt the rest of his buttons being opened. He let his hands roam over Gibbs' back and finally found the edge of his shirt. He longed to feel the others' skin under his fingers. He wanted to feel the muscles flex under his touch.
As they broke the kiss for air. Robert used the opportunity to pull Gibbs' shirt over his head and tossed it in some corner. Their eyes met again for a split second before Gibbs kissed him again. His tongue invaded his mouth and Robert couldn't suppress another moan.
Hands on his hips steered him back until he felt the edge of the bed in the hollow of his knees. With light pressure Gibbs forced him down and he willingly gave in. He hovered over him, letting his hand wander over his body causing Robert's length to twitch. Kissed and licked down his chest, flicking his tongue over his nipple. Robert groaned low.
He felt Gibbs' hands fumbling with his belt and a few seconds later his slacks and boxer briefs were lying on the ground. The lust in Gibbs' eyes made his length even harder.
Gibbs kissed the base of his cock as his hands ran along the inside of his thighs. Robert buried his hand in Gibbs' hair and moaned deeply. Every single nerve in his body tingled. Gibbs carefully licked along his shaft and flicked his tongue over his tip. It almost made Robert come immediately.
"Fuck!" He groaned.
"You tell me how far I go." Gibbs whispered, flicking over his tip again.
"Damn, Gibbs." Robert crawled into the others shoulders. "I want it all. I want you!"
Gibbs closed his mouth around his cock and Robert felt the need boiling under his skin. He let his fingers glide over the others' skin until they found their way into the gray hair again.
It only took a few movements of Gibbs' mouth and Robert felt the need coiling in his groin, already.
"I'm gonna…" Robert choked out and Gibbs released his arousal. Robert felt him moving away and heard him rumble somewhere. As Robert was able to open his eyes again, Gibbs was already back between his legs.
"You can stop me anytime." Gibbs said, placing a kiss on his right thigh. Robert gasped as a finger found his entrance and softly massaged it. Lips placed little kisses on his skin. "Anytime."
"For god sake, Gibbsss!" His back arched up and he hissed as the other took his tip in again. "I want you to take me, like you took Tony in this fucking hot spring."
Gibbs growled and one of his hands dug deep into the flesh of Robert's hip.
Moments later a slick finger carefully pushed through his ring of muscles and Robert grabbed the sheets next to him. Wet lips moved slowly up and down his cock and paired with the sofly inching finger caused a sensation, Robert wasn't able to ever imagine.
Gibbs' digit moved in and out on a slow pace while his mouth pleasured his skin. Robert couldn't stop moaning. An uncontrollable stream of pleas, groans, and lust filled words left his mouth.
"Relax."
Gibbs moved next to him, kissing his abs while he still let his finger drive in and out of him. Robert felt Gibbs' hard arousal pressed to his side as he tried to obey. He willed his body to calm down but it was just too damn good.
Robert opened his eyes and saw Gibbs looking down at him. His expression took Roberts' breath away and he captured Gibbs' lips as a sudden wave of deep love rushed over him. The same deep love he had seen in Gibbs' face.
A second digit entered him gently. He dug into the muscles on Gibbs' back and felt him groan into the kiss. The fingers stretched and gently loosened him up. Robert was sure he couldn't take much more. His mind was blank and all he could do was to feel. Feel Gibbs' fingers, feel his mouth, feel his hard cock.
"Please…" Robert moaned and Gibbs added a third digit. "Fuck! I wanna feel you."
Gibbs took his time and Robert lost himself in an ocean of emotions. He drifted between the waves of pleasure.
As the tip of Gibbs' hard cock brushed over his entrance, he gasped. He didn't even notice Gibbs had moved away from his side or when he had lost his jeans.
His lover inched in carefully, only stopping as he had buried himself completely inside Robert.
"Oh gosh how I missed you, Tony." Gibbs moaned low as he rested his head in the crook of Robert's neck. He felt Gibbs twitch inside him and groaned in need. He slowly let his fingertips run along Gibbs' spine and placed a kiss on his cheek.
He closed his eyes and wished he could bring Tony back. Wished he could make Gibbs happy again.
"Move." He pleaded and hoped this would light up the darkness taking over his mind.
As Gibbs gently started to move Robert's mind went blank and all he was able to do was feel again. His nerves tingled and every touch caused goosebumps on his skin. Gibbs upped the pace. Slammed into him hard. His need gathered in the base of his cock. Gibbs straightened up and thrust in even harder. Fingers dug deep in his flash. A deep growl reached his ear. His cock was leaking and he squirmed under the sudden touch to his length. Gibbs began to stroke it in the rhythm of his trusts. He was right on the edge and this time he wouldn't be able to stop.
Robert moaned low as the pressure in his groin reached a nearly unbearable level.
"Gosh." Gibbs sighed and Roberts' eyes flew open. The lust-darkened eyes lingering on him pierced his mind and he drowned in the waves of ecstasy. His orgasm hit him hard.
Every muscle in his body tensed and he twitched as he spilled himself onto his stomach.
Gibbs movements became irregular and his breathing was rough.
The sight of Gibbs falling apart was as arousing as the act itself. He had closed his eyes and let his head fall back, mouth slightly open and moaning low.
Gibbs gently lay down on top of him and Robert brushed through his silver hair.
"Shower?" Gibbs asked, while Robert was still running his finger through the hair, down his neck and back again.
"I guess I won't survive that." Robert chuckled.
"I meant getting clean and ready for bed." Gibbs rolled his eyes. "I'm not sixteen anymore."
Way too soon for his liking Gibbs got up and vanished into the bathroom. He huffed and tried to move. His limbs refused to work and his head spun. If sex with Gibbs would always be like this, he'd just signed his death warrent.
Robert heard the water stopping and cursed under his breath. He dragged himself up and prowled into the bathroom. Gibbs was drying his hair with a towel as Robert entered the room. He couldn't resist touching the small of his back lightly as he slipped into the shower.
The warm spray really did well and loosened his muscles. He couldn't remember ever feeling better and giggled slightly. As he left the shower he saw a boxer placed on the toilet lid and smiled. He dried himself and slipped on the fabric.
Gibbs was already in bed. He lay on his back and had his arms crossed behind his head.
"So only boxers in this house?" Robert smirked and Gibbs lifted his head wearing only boxer briefs as well.
"Old habit, I guess." Gibbs let his head fall back. "You didn't like wearing shirts in bed. You wanted 'to feel me properly'. But there are shirts in the top drawer if you need one."
He sighed and smiled towards the ceiling. Robert crawled into bed without even thinking about the dresser. He settled next to Gibbs and placed his head on his chest.
"I still need time." Robert mumbled tracing with his finger a scar across Gibbs' abs.
"It's okay." Gibbs said softly, placing an arm around him. Robert listened to his heartbeat. It was calm and steady and slowly lulled him in.
He had closed his eyes a while ago feeling his breathing slowly become even and he was about to drift off into sleep as a low voice reached his ear.
"I love you, hon." He felt Gibbs placing a soft kiss on his hair as he faded into sleep.
~They were lying under the tree. Tony had placed his head on Gibbs' stomach and was totally absorbed by the book he was reading. Gibbs had crossed the arms behind his head and watched the sky above them.
It was those calm moments Tony enjoyed most on their vacations. No hassle, no stress, no one shooting at them. It was a tranquility, they couldn't even experience in calm DC-nights.
"Did I ever say that I love you?" Gibbs asked out of the blue. Tony let his book sink to his chest and turned this head to see Gibbs still gazing into the sky.
"I don't think so." Tony answered honestly.
"Mh." Gibbs grunted and Tony smiled silently as he turned his attention back to the book.~
Robert woke softly, savoring the happiness he felt. His hands fumbled for Gibbs but all they got were empty sheets. Robert opened his eyes. He was lying in Gibbs' bed alone and fear creeped up his spine. Did he just imagine last night; Had it all been a screwed up dream?
He put some of Gibbs' sweatpants on and made his way down. As Robert entered the kitchen he saw Gibbs sitting at the table drinking coffee. A twinkle caught his eye and he had to smile as he saw the bracelet around Gibbs' wrist. He walked towards the coffee maker and nonchalantly pressed a kiss to Gibbs' hair. "Good morning, love."
"Mornin', Tony." Gibbs returned smiling and for the first time Robert really was fine to become Tony one day.
The end.