a/n: aaaaand here we have the start of the heirverse references. Hopefully they'll be nice little easter eggs for the readers of that. Otherwise, take or leave them but I hope you enjoy this slowburn horror :)
Sousuke decided it was best to begin at the source. The last place he'd seen Gin alive. And that was at home. Of course, it was the place they'd had that bitter fight, and it terrified Sousuke that the last words he'd said to Gin were hateful. Because those might be the last words he ever spoke to Gin, and he might never get a chance to right that wrong. He shook his head. Don't think about that. Focus on actually finding Gin.
He turned the doorknob and entered the house, unable to shake the feeling that something was off here, too. Like all the furniture had been moved just an inch to the left.
He moved through the house like a ghost, half expecting to see Gin curled up on the sofa with Cherry, or washing up in the kitchen, or even lazing in the garden. Yet of course there was no sign of his fox. It was eerie, to say the least, that someone with such a big presence in his life wasn't here anymore. Even with all the photographic evidence and his partner's possessions scattered about the living room. The kitchen. The house.
But it was even more disconcerting that he was beginning to forget what it felt like to even have Gin in his life.
Like the man he loved was slipping through his fingers like sand falling through an hourglass. And when the last grains had fallen through, Gin really would be gone forever.
He frowned at the thought and pushed it away. Reaching out to see if he could sense any trace of Gin. Again only finding a wall of nothingness.
He pressed his lips together. Perhaps I need a visual.
He moved back through from the kitchen into the living room to search for a photograph. Anything to keep Gin present in his mind. Anything to keep him from slipping away.
Anything to put a face to the name of his Gin.
There was one on the mantelpiece that would suit his needs. The one of them both together, with Cherry and Tsuku squeezed between them. His favourite photograph. Taken when we were happiest.
He strode over to the mantelpiece, just above the fireplace, reaching for the framed photograph.
But his fingers only grasped air.
There was no photograph. Not on the mantel, and a quick glance around the room told him there were none anywhere else either.
This can't be.
He scanned the room again. And found it completely different to the one he'd been in just this morning. Every single trace that Gin ever lived here had gone.
No...
He stalked through the house, searching, ransacking. Tearing the place apart for just one shred of evidence his Gin had lived, had existed. That the man hadn't just been a figment of his overactive imagination.
He threw the sheets off the bed. Emptied drawers and cupboards. Upended boxes and opened files and searched through all the photographs he owned.
Finding nothing.
No trace of his lover.
No signs Gin had ever existed.
His breath caught, his lungs were in a vice. His head swam and reeled. No... no this can't be, no... not Gin... not my Gin...
He tried to breathe, finding it took a great effort to manage even shallow breaths. Panic overwhelmed him, cutting off his airways. What am I going to do? Where is Gin? Where is he? What do I do without him? What a I going to do? What am I going to do? I can't go on without him.
He stood, hands shaking, hyperventilating as he tried to get a grip on himself. Jaw clenched and fighting back a flood of tears he couldn't afford to cry. Wherever Gin was, he needed him. Was probably waiting for him. And Sousuke would be no good to anyone if he had a breakdown now. Maybe when this was done and Gin was home safe again, he could afford a few moments of weakness. But until then, he had to pull himself the fuck together and fucking find Gin.
He stood straight, resolve set. Pulled himself the fuck together and took a deep breath.
Oh, good, the voice sneered. You're done being pathetic.
I am.
Going to find your boy?
The voice – or more accurately, the monster he'd made a pact for power in exchange for vengeance with almost a century ago – had never liked Gin. It was fair to say he didn't like Sousuke to have any distractions, but he seemed to loathe Gin the most. Not that it mattered. Sousuke ignored the voice in his head whenever he could. It was just another annoyance he'd learned to live with now.
Better get moving then, before he goes away completely.
Sousuke pressed his lips together. The beast was right, of course. If he was starting to forget who Gin was, that meant he didn't have a lot of time left to get him back. Who knew how much longer the memories he still had would last before they too slipped like sand through his fingers. Through the hourglass.
He walked back through the living room and back out the front door again. Staring out into the small forest they lived nearby.
He has to be here somewhere, Sousuke told himself. He has to be, if I can still remember him.
With that in mind, he took another deep breath, exhaled slowly, and tried again. Hoping for a flicker – even a faint one – of his Gin. Any sign, however small, that his beloved was still alive in this world.
He focused hard, trying to find some trace of Gin. Any trace he could. Desperate to find his partner at any cost. If he could just feel even a tiny flicker of-
Aha! There!
It was very faint. Just a little flicker. But it was there. Gin's spiritual energy signature. Evidence that Gin had existed. That he hadn't invented the last few years of his life. The last couple of decades, even.
He felt the flicker of Gin again and followed it. Letting it take him into the woods. The most direct path from their home to Rangiku's. Though not necessarily the safest in the dead of night. Everyone knew there were Hollows lurking about in these woods who loved to come out at night. Hunting and prowling for their next meal.
Any one of those monsters could have taken Gin.
A shiver rolled over him as he moved deeper into the woods, following the faint echo of his Gin as he retraced his partner's footsteps. The feeling of being watched dogging his every stride. Goosebumps prickling over his skin as he walked. The darkness and the small sea of trees swallowing him whole.