.

.

"Wait wait wait wait wait don't erase my memories!" his brother said. Kazuma's eyes narrowed.

"Give me one good reason why I should listen to you."

"Because I keep finding you, right?" His brother backed up and raised his hands. "Erase my memories, I'm gonna forget everything that happened, so if we see each other, I'm gonna try to talk to you. Let me keep my memories, and I can guarantee I won't fuckin' bother you."

"Fine," Kazuma said. He lowered his arm.

"Yo, is the reason why you're always dressing in business casual 'cuz you're trying not to look like a high schooler?"

"Goodnight, Nii-san."

"Hey it's just one last question, I promise I'll stop talking to you-"

"I said goodnight."

xXx

.

"Yo Kazuma," Yato said.

"Yes, Yato?"

"Are you sure it's a good idea for your brother to keep his memories? He's been running around all of Tokyo. Aren't you worried he might cross paths with another shinki?"

"It won't be a problem," Kazuma said.

"Oh?"

"I cast a modified version of Umbra on him to selectively hide his name from other shinki."

"Ya sure that'll work?" Yato said. Kazuma pushed up his glasses.

"I have 100% confidence in my abilities."

("Dude! Yo! Why you got to be ignoring me!" he said to Daikoku, since he stopped by the PIPING HOT UDON shop on his day off. Daikoku walked past him to fix a display of postcards while Kofuku snickered. Kazuma already warned the other gods about his stupid big brother.)

xXx

.

"Yo Bishamon, lemme borrow Chouki for a little bit," Yato said. Bishamon frowned at him.

"Why?" Bishamon said. "Isn't Rekki much more powerful?"

"Yeah, but I'm not usin' him for that. Hiyori's rounding at the hospital with her dad, I thought I'd tag along and help her perform some miracles."

"Miracles?"

"So she can be deified like Tenjin was, she just needs a bunch of believers!"

Bishamon's frown deepened. "And how are you going to make Iki Hiyori perform miracles?"

"Because I'm gonna use Kazuma, I told you!"

"Hmm."

"C'mon Bishamon, I let you use Rekki all the time, just let me borrow the stupid earring."

"If Kazuma doesn't mind, then fine," Bishamon said. Yato pumped a fist and grinned.

xXx

.

Yato had an eighty-year plan to get Hiyori deified. Just increase the numbers of miracles, get an accumulation of worshipers, and eventually get the people to erect a shrine, and the Heavens would surely accept her. "I mean they made a stupid cat the god-of-the-year, they haveta make Hiyori a god, too!"

"Yato I don't know." Kazuma's chouki form was sitting in Yato's pocket, the diamond sparkling as he talked. "Won't Iki-san be annoyed with you following her around in the wards?"

"Y'know, it's super weird that I can hear you but not see you." Normally Yato could see Kazuma clearly in his mindscape, but he was inhabiting Bishamon's form now, the only reason why Yato could hear him was because Kazuma was projecting his voice from his chouki form like a rudimentary speaker.

"Yato-"

"Look, all we gotta do is find the hard cases, you know, the ones near death or not diagnosed yet. Just use your freaky chouki powers and tell me what you're lookin' at, I'll tell Hiyori and she'll tell Hiyori-papa, and the miracles will be all set!"

Hiyori was on the medical floor, shadowing a few residents and writing on a clipboard. "Yato, what are you doing here?"

"Ne, ne, Hiyori! I'm gonna have you do your first miracle!"

"What?" Hiyori said, and the residents glanced up at her. Yato looked around.

"Kazuma, whaddaya see? Anything I can cut out?"

The heads up display swirled around Yato's eye.

"That vented patient over there has metastatic prostate cancer. Do you think you can cut those tumors out?"

"Yeah, if you're guiding me, 'course I could!" He turned to Hiyori. "Hiyori~~~! Come over here and act like you're healin' him."

Hiyori widened her eyes at him and shook her head vigorously.

"Just come here!" Yato said, and he yanked Hiyori toward the bed, Hiyori stumbling a little. "Put your hands on his chest like you're healin' him."

"Yato I don't know if pretending is the right thing to d-"

"Alright, Kazuma!" Yato said. He held up his hand. "You're up! Sekki!"

Yukine flashed from the sky, whizzing through the ceiling and landing in both Yato's hands. Yato took a stance.

"Okay, Kazuma!" Yato said. "Show me those tumors!"

In the heads up display, the tumors lit up like stains under a black light scan.

"REND!"

Yato's blades flashed. The tumors fizzled like phantoms.

"Okay, now how come he's on a ventilator?"

"He has ARDS," Hiyori said. "His lungs are fibrosed and full of fluid."

"Kazuma?"

"Uh..." The heads up display focused on his lungs. "I can probably redirect the fluid collection into his lymphatic system and maybe tamp down the amount of inflammation."

"You gonna use a spell for that?"

"I will try."

"Awesome!" Yato said, and he did a little dance. Kazuma muttered a spell and in the heads-up display, Yato could see his lungs going clear.

xXx

.

"HAH?!" Yato said. "They said it was the steroids and chemo that helped him?!"

Hiyori laughed nervously. "Well they did say it was unusual about the mets shrinking, but-"

"Shrinking?! Whaddaya mean, 'shrinking,' they're completely gone! Didn't they see you performin' the miracles on him?!"

"I mean, I was there when he woke up after they extubated him..."

"Boooo."

xXx

.

"Hey, war god lady, c'mere. I need your help makin' up with Kiyotsugu," his brother said.

Bishamon frowned at him. "And why on earth would I help you?" she said.

"Because I fucked up, I fucked up real bad and I just wanna get him something, like an I'm-sorry-I-strangled-you cake or something, and I thought maybe you'd help me because you want to make him happy?"

Bishamon's eyes narrowed. "My Kazuma would be happy if you refrained from contacting him."

"HAH?!" Yato said, when he found him hanging around the park. "You want me to help you with Kazuma?!"

"I'll give you five yen," he said, and he shook the coin at him. Yato's eyes narrowed.

"Fine," Yato said. Kiyotsugu's brother tossed him the coin, which Yato caught expertly. "But know I'm only granting this 'cuz you paid for the wish!"

"YES!" his brother pumped his fist.

xXx

.

"I'm sorry we could not help you, Iki-san," Kazuma said, walking out of the hospital with Hiyori. Hiyori smiled and shrugged.

"It's okay, Kazuma-san! I wouldn't be performing miracles anyway, all of that would be Yato," she said.

"Well as half-baked as it may seem, Yato's plan may actually work. But we need to target patients who are actually terminal."

They stopped at a crosswalk. The light was red, cars whizzing by them.

"Oi!" his brother saw them standing across the street. "There's Kiyotsugu!"

"Wait, the light is red!" Yato said, but his brother dashed into the street.

Kazuma started, "Nii-san!" A truck came barreling toward him.

"A LINE!" The line slashed through the air, slamming into the truck and halting its momentum. The driver pitched forward, then saw Kiyotsugu's brother standing wide-eyed in front of him.

Kazuma ran toward his brother. "Nii-san! Are you all right?"

"Y-yeah." His brother was still staring at the truck. "The fuck did he come from?"

"You ran out into the street on a red, Nii-san, the truck had made a left."

"Shit."

"Hey did you see that?" someone said. A crowd gathered. Someone pointed. "That girl stopped the truck in its tracks!"

"What?" Hiyori said, as everybody rushed toward her and Kazuma's brother.

xXx

.

"KAZUMA!" Yato burst into Kazuma's office holding up a newspaper. "Your dumbass brother helped Hiyori with her first miracle! Look!"

"My foot was on the gas," said the delivery driver. "I was going full speed and it was like I ran into a really strong net, and then I looked down and saw this girl. It was almost like a miracle."

"They're saying she used her powers to keep him from getting run over!" Yato said. Kazuma took the paper.

"Yato this is a tabloid," Kazuma said. "Officially the truck simply malfunctioned."

"Awww Kazu-kun! You're just mad 'cuz you didn't get the credit, aren't you?"

("Frankly, you should have let him get hit by that truck," Bishamon said.)