A/n: I do not own Percy Jackson, nor am I making any sort of profit out of this. I do not own any, and I mean any characters in here. Thank you.

Welp! That's out of the way. I failed my benchmark, btw. And I forgot to make my mom a card. Oh, for any mothers reading this, happy mothers' day!

I suck at pitching.

Well, no, that's not true, but I kinda fucked up a lot last week and my next game is in 2 days and I'm really worried that I'll mess up and lose us the game. Our first one we lost 12-4, and last week we lost 13-11. Major improvement yes, but still. I digress.

But you know what'll give me confidence? Reviews! Please review, they make my day ;)

Also, let me know who's excited for The Talk(TM). I haven't started it, and I have no outline for any of my fics, so I have no idea where it's gonna go, but give me ideas and maybe I'll use 'em! Also, should Annabeth stay single, or not? And I'm toying with the idea of adding Clarisse or maybe even future-Luke.

Mini-Piper? Mini-Leo? Hyper-ten-year-old-Nico-plus-his-sister? Tell me who you want!

Ask and ye shall receive.

Actually, no, that's a lie, but I'll do my best ;)

Shabbat Shalom!

(and please review!)

Hestia paused. "Are all the chapter titles like that?" she asked.

Theo shrugged. "Knowing me, yeah, probably."

We tore through the night along dark country roads. Wind slammed against the Camaro. Rain lashed the windshield. I didn't know how my mom could see anything, but she kept her foot on the gas.

"That sounds terrifying," Piper said, shivering.

"More terrifying than flying on a metal dragon?" asked Jason, raising an eyebrow.

Piper considered that, then shrugged.

Every time there was a flash of lightning, I looked at Grover sitting next to me in the backseat and I wondered if I'd gone insane, or if he was wearing some kind of shag-carpet pants.

Silena snorted, muttering something about fashion disasters.

But, no, the smell was one I remembered from kindergarten field trips to the petting zoo. The smell of a wet barnyard animal.

Theo wrinkled his nose.

All I could think to say was, "So, you and my mom . . . know each other?"

Grover's eyes flitted to the rearview mirror, though there were no cars behind us. "Not exactly," he said. "I mean, we've never met in person. But she knew I was watching you."

"Watching me?"

"Stalker!" sang Thalia.

"Keeping tabs on you. Making sure you were okay. But I wasn't faking being your friend," he added hastily. "I am your friend."

"Why would he be faking?" asked an unclaimed kid.

Theo shrugged uncomfortably.

"Um . . . what are you, exactly?"

"A satyr," Grover said proudly.

"And finder of Pan," added Nico.

"Lord of the Wild," Thalia chimed in.

"The only goat who can encase a titan in a tree with music," Theo said, grinning.

Grover's mouth fell open. Mr. D seemed to perk up at the mention of Pan, but then settled back and continued reading.

"That doesn't matter right now."

"It doesn't matter? From the waist down, my best friend is a donkey - "

Leo whistled.

Annabeth arched an eyebrow. "There's a thin line between bravery and stupidity, Seaweed Brain. I think you just crossed it."

Grover let out a sharp, throaty "Blaa-ha-ha!"

I'd heard him make that sound before, but I'd always assumed it was a nervous laugh. Now I realized it was more of an irritated bleat.

"Goat!" he cried.

"What?"

"I'm a goat from the waist down."

"You just said it didn't matter."

"Oh, it matters," muttered Clarisse flippantly.

"Blaa-ha-ha! There are satyrs who would trample you underhoof for such an insult!"

"Coach Hedge," 'coughed' Leo.

"Whoa. Wait. Satyrs. You mean like . . . Mr. Brunner's myths?"

"Were those old ladies at the fruit stand a myth, Percy? Was Mrs. Dodds a myth?"

"So you admit there was a Mrs. Dodds!"

"Really!? That's what you're focusing on?"

Theo shrugged.

"The less you knew, the fewer monsters you'd attract," Grover said, like that should be perfectly obvious. "We put Mist over the humans' eyes. We hoped you'd think the Kindly One was a hallucination. But it was no good. You started to realize who you are."

"Dramatic much?" snorted Piper.

Grover blushed.

"Who I - wait a minute, what do you mean?"

The weird bellowing noise rose up again somewhere behind us, closer than before. Whatever was chasing us was still on our trail.

"Percy," my mom said, "there's too much to explain and not enough time. We have to get you to safety."

"Safety from what? Who's after me?"

"Oh, nobody much," Grover said sarcastically. "Just a monster that wants to kill you."

Hestia stifled a laugh and read the next line.

"Oh, nobody much," Grover said, obviously still miffed about the donkey comment.

"Just the Lord of the Dead and a few of his blood-thirstiest minions."

People laughed as Grover blushed.

"Grover!"

"Sorry, Mrs. Jackson. Could you drive faster, please?"

I tried to wrap my mind around what was happening, but I couldn't do it. I knew this wasn't a dream. I had no imagination. I could never dream up something this weird.

My mom made a hard left. We swerved onto a narrower road, racing past darkened farmhouses and wooded hills and PICK YOUR OWN STRAWBERRIES signs on white picket fences.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"Camp Half-Blood!"

"Whoo!"

"Yeah!"

Theo looked down; he wasn't looking forward to this next part.

"The summer camp I told you about." My mother's voice was tight; she was trying for my sake not to be scared. "The place your father wanted to send you."

"The place you didn't want me to go."

"She should have let him go," Austin said.

"Please, dear," my mother begged. "This is hard enough. Try to understand. You're in danger."

"Because some old ladies cut yarn."

"Yes of course because of that," said Clarisse.

"Those weren't old ladies," Grover said. "Those were the Fates. Do you know what it means - the fact they appeared in front of you? They only do that when you're about to ... when someone's about to die."

"Whoa. You said 'you.'"

"No I didn't. I said 'someone.'"

"You meant 'you.' As in me."

"I meant you, like 'someone.' Not you, you."

"Boys!" my mom said.

"Did anyone follow that?" asked Annabeth, amused.

"I did!" said Percy, Grover and Theo.

Luke laughed fondly and pulled Theo down so he was leaning into Luke and kissed him, firmly. Theo kissed back, and then broke off with a dopey grin.

Leo let out a wolf whistle.

She pulled the wheel hard to the right, and I got a glimpse of a figure she'd swerved to avoid - a dark fluttering shape now lost behind us in the storm.

"What was that?" asked Luke, instintaly on guard.

"What was that?" I asked.

"Oh," he muttered.

"We're almost there," my mother said, ignoring my question. "Another mile. Please. Please. Please."

I didn't know where there was, but I found myself leaning forward in the car, anticipating, wanting us to arrive.

Theo began twisting his pipe cleaners in earnest.

Outside, nothing but rain and darkness - the kind of empty countryside you get way out on the tip of Long Island. I thought about Mrs. Dodds and the moment when she'd changed into the thing with pointed teeth and leathery wings. My limbs went numb from delayed shock.

Theo grunted. "This is going to be really annoying isn't it?" he asked no one in particular. Then he paled, and turned to Annabeth.

"Wise Girl," he said frantically. Annabeth caught on right away.

"You'll be okay," she soothed.

She really hadn't been human. She'd meant to kill me.

"No shit, Sherlock," Jason muttered.

"Fuck you, Watson," Theo scowled.

Jason flipped him the middle finger.

Then I thought about Mr. Brunner ... and the sword he had thrown me. Before I could ask Grover about that, the hair rose on the back of my neck. There was a blinding flash, a jaw-rattling boom!, and our car exploded.

I remember feeling weightless, like I was being crushed, fried, and hosed down all at the same time.

Theo doubled over and groaned. Luke leaned worriedly over him, but Theo waved him off with a grimace. "I'm fine, please keep reading."

He didn't want to know how Luke would react to the scorpion.

I peeled my forehead off the back of the driver's seat and said, "Ow."

Thalia let out a breathless laugh. "Classic," she said.

"Percy!" my mom shouted.

"I'm okay..."

I tried to shake off the daze. I wasn't car hadn't really exploded. We'd swerved into a ditch. Our driver's-side doors were wedged in the mud. The roof had cracked open like an eggshell and rain was pouring in.

That was the only explanation. We'd been blasted right off the road. Next to me in the backseat was a big motionless lump. "Grover!"He was slumped over, blood trickling from the side of his mouth. I shook his furry hip, thinking, No! Even if you are half barnyard animal, you're my best friend and I don't want you to die!

"Gee, thanks, man," Grover said sarcastically.

Percy grinned and fist-bumped him. "No problem."

Then he groaned "Food," and I knew there was hope.

Thalia lit up. "Hey, remember when . . ."

Theo laughed. "Oh yeah!"

No one knew what they were talking about.

"Percy," my mother said, "we have to ..." Her voice faltered.

The sight of it made my skin crawl. It was a dark silhouette of a huge guy, like a football player. He seemed to be holding a blanket over his head. His top half was bulky and fuzzy. His upraised hands made it look like he had horns.

People gasped as they figured out who it was.

I swallowed hard. "Who is - "

"Percy," my mother said, deadly serious. "Get out of the car."

"Yes, please do," Hazel said.

"Uh . . . you do know you're talking to a book, right?" asked Theo carefully.

"Shut up," she snapped, still tense.

Theo shrugged and braced himself for what was coming.

My mother threw herself against the driver's-side door. It was jammed shut in the mud. I tried mine. Stuck too. I looked up desperately at the hole in the roof. It might've been an exit, but the edges were sizzling and smoking.

"Climb out the passenger's side!" my mother told me. "Percy - you have to run. Do you see that big tree?"

"Me!" cheered Thalia.

Another flash of lightning, and through the smoking hole in the roof I saw the tree she meant: a huge, White House Christmas tree-sized pine at the crest of the nearest hill.

"That's the property line," my mom said. "Get over that hill and you'll see a big farmhouse down in the valley. Run and don't look back. Yell for help. Don't stop until you reach the door."

"Mom, you're coming too."

"She can't," said Mr. D, who was flipping through a wine magazine.

"You're paying attention?" asked Chiron.

He didn't answer.

Her face was pale, her eyes as sad as when she looked at the ocean."No!" I shouted. "You are coming with me. Help me carry Grover."

"Food!" Grover moaned, a little louder.

People laughed at this, still tense.

The man with the blanket on his head kept coming toward us, making his grunting, snorting noises. As he got closer, I realized he couldn't be holding a blanket over his head, because his hands - huge meaty hands - were swinging at his sides. There was no blanket. Meaning the bulky, fuzzy mass that was too big to be his head . . . was his head. And the points that looked like horns . . .

Jason's eyes widened in understanding.

"He doesn't want us," my mother told me. "He wants you. Besides, I can't cross the property line."

"But..."

"No, no buts!"

"We don't have time, Percy. Go. Please."

I got mad, then - mad at my mother, at Grover the goat, at the thing with horns that was lumbering toward us slowly and deliberately like a bull.

"Oh, jeez."

I climbed across Grover and pushed the door open into the rain. "We're going together. Come on, Mom."

"I told you - "

"Mom! I am not leaving you. Help me with Grover."

I didn't wait for her answer. I scrambled outside, dragging Grover from the car. He was surprisingly light, but I couldn't have carried him very far if my mom hadn't come to my aid.

Reyna eyed Percy with a calculating look in her eyes.

Together, we draped Grover's arms over our shoulders and started stumbling uphill through wet waist-high grass.

Glancing back, I got my first clear look at the monster.

He was seven feet tall, easy, his arms and legs like something from the cover of Muscle Man magazine - bulging biceps and triceps and a bunch of other 'ceps, all stuffed like baseballs under vein-webbed skin.

He wore no clothes except underwear - I mean, bright white Fruit of the Looms

Silence.

Then-

"Oh, my gods!" choked Leo.

"Seriously?" giggled Hazel.

Travis, Connor, and pretty much everyone else burst out into laughter.

which would've looked funny, except that the top half of his body was so scary. Coarse brown hair started at about his belly button and got thicker as it reached his shoulders.

Tension filled the pavilion again.

His neck was a mass of muscle and fur leading up to his enormous head, which had a snout as long as my arm, snotty nostrils with a gleaming brass ring, cruel black eyes, and horns - enormous black-and-white horns with points you just couldn't get from an electric sharpener.

I recognized the monster, all right. He had been in one of the first stories Mr. Brunner told us. But he couldn't be real.

I blinked the rain out of my eyes.

Theo blinked furiously, and groaned. He felt wet, but he wasn't. This was so weird.

"That's - "

"Pasiphae's son,"

"Smart woman," said Reyna approvingly.

my mother said. "I wish I'd known how badly they want to kill you."

"Not nearly as much as later," Theo snorted.

"How many gods want to kill you again?" asked Thalia conversationally, like she was talking about the weather.

Luke blanched.

"Uh . . . Uncle Z, Hera, Ares, Athena is on/off, Aphrodite likes to mess with my love life too much, Grandpa, Queen Dirt Face, and I'm pretty sure Atlas hates my guts. Oh, and Nyx was pretty mad."

Luke stared. "Wha - how are you not dead?"

"Annabeth, luck, Annabeth, more luck, Annabeth, friends, and Annabeth. Mostly Annabeth, though."

"And skill," said Jason.

Theo frowned but didn't answer.

Luke also frowned. He knew that Theo and Annabeth weren't dating anymore, but still.

"Grandpa?" asked Beckendorf.

"The Crooked One," supplied Nico, leaning over to whisper something in Hazel's ear.

A couple people went pale as they digested this.

"A-and Queen Dirt Face?" asked Silena tentatively.

"Why, the earth mother of course!" Leo said theatrically, spreading his arms wide and accidentally whacking Calypso in the face. "Sorry, Sunshine," he told her.

"I told you not to call me that," she informed the son of Hephaestus, though there was a slight curve of her lips.

When he just shrugged, she laughed helplessly and kissed him.

"But he's the Min - "

"Don't say his name," she warned. "Names have power."

"Which you still haven't learned," Will said, rolling his eyes.

The pine tree was still way too far - a hundred yards uphill at least.

I glanced behind me again.

The bull-man hunched over our car, looking in the windows - or not looking, exactly. More like snuffling, nuzzling. I wasn't sure why he bothered, since we were only about fifty feet away.

"Food?" Grover moaned.

"Is that the only thing you think about?" asked Percy, amused.

Grover blushed.

"Shhh," I told him. "Mom, what's he doing? Doesn't he see us?"

"His sight and hearing are terrible," she said. "He goes by smell. But he'll figure out where we are soon enough."

"Your mom's really smart," Annie told Percy.

He nodded, smiling.

As if on cue, the bull-man bellowed in rage. He picked up . . . creaking and groaning. He raised the . . . the road. It slammed. . . to a stop. The gas tank exploded.

Not a scratch, I remembered Gabe saying.

"Oops," cackled Thalia, Nico, Leo, Travis, Connor, and Chris.

Hestia smiled as she read the next line.

Oops.

"Noo!" Thalia cried out, flopping dramatically on Nico, who was next to Will. "I think like Percy!"

Theo snorted. "You know, Annabeth once told me that we'd either hate each other, or be best friends, we're so alike."

"Percy," my mom said. "When he sees us, he'll charge. Wait until the last second, then jump out of the way - directly sideways. He can't change directions very well once he's charging. Do you understand?"

"How do you know all this?"

"She started studying mythology a heck of a lot more when she realized who Da was," Theo informed everyone, not telling them that he technically had two dads. He had no idea where his brothers were, but he hoped Sam was keeping Dean out of too much trouble. He wanted to find whatever killed Jess as much as Sam did, but he had to stay at camp. That didn't mean he never went hunting though, or didn't keep in touch with his brothers and sister. Sophie was scary. He hoped Sam and Dean found Dad soon.

"I've been worried about an attack for a long time. I should have expected this. I was selfish, keeping you near me."

"Keeping me near you? But - "

Another bellow of rage, and the bull-man started tromping uphill.

He'd smelled us.

The pine tree was only a few more yards, but the hill was getting steeper and slicker, and Grover wasn't getting any lighter.

The bull-man closed in. Another few seconds and he'd be on top of us.

"C'mon, c'mon," prayed Annabeth.

Theo smiled. "Wise Girl, I'm right here."

"Shut up," she snapped, but she grinned a bit.

My mother must've been exhausted, but she shouldered Grover. "Go, Percy! Separate! Remember what I said."

I didn't want to split up, but I had the feeling she was right – it was our only chance.

Luke clenched his fists.

I sprinted to the left, turned, and saw the creature bearing down on me. His black eyes glowed with hate. He reeked like rotten meat.

Theo wrinkled his nose.

"Can you really smell that?" asked Leo, interested.

Theo nodded with a grimace. "Be glad you can't," he told his friend.

He lowered his head and charged, those razor-sharp horns aimed straight at my chest.

Luke gripped Theo's hand.

The fear in my stomach made me want to bolt, but that wouldn't work. I could never outrun this thing. So I held my ground, and at the last moment, I jumped to the side.

The bull-man stormed past like a freight train, then bellowed with frustration and turned, but not toward me this time, toward my mother, who was setting Grover down in the grass.

We'd reached the crest of the hill. Down the other side I could see a valley, just as my mother had said, and the lights of a farmhouse glowing yellow through the rain. But that was half a mile away. We'd never make it.

"No, don't say that," Luke mumbled.

Theo sent him an amused look.

The bull-man . . . away from Grover.

"Good, god."

"Run, Percy! . . . run!"

"Yes, run! Please!"

Theo barked a laugh.

But I just . . . sidestep . . . her by the neck as she tried . . . pummeling the air.

Percy clenched his fists but loosened them when he saw Theo giving him a sad smile. At first, it was hard to imagine him as older-Percy, but he soon found the similarities. And there was his reaction to Gabe.

"Mom!"

She caught my . . .go!"

Then, with an angry . . . gone.

"No!"

Theo shut his eyes, mind replaying the moment.

Anger replaced my fear. Newfound . . . grew talons.

The bull-man . . .dissolve too.

I couldn't allow that.

I stripped off my red rain jacket.

"Hey!" I screamed, waving . . . ground beef!"

Silence.

"Ground beef?" Thalia finally choked out.

"So that's why you kept calling his hamburger," Nico realized.

Theo gave a one-shouldered shrug, leaning into Luke, who clutched him for reassurance.

"Raaaarrrrrrrrrr!" . . . meaty fists.

I had an idea . . .the last moment.

But it didn't happen like that.

"Of course it didn't," Annabeth sighed.

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Theo, insulted.

"Face it Kelp Head, your plans almost never work out the way they're supposed to," Jason said, grinning a bit as he thought back to Kansas.

Theo seemed to have caught his train of thought, catching his eyes as they shared a smile.

Piper, also catching n, rolled her eyes. "Now boys, I'm sure you'd both be delightful at killing each other, but let's try to keep the head injuries to a minimum, okay?"

Both of them turned to her with an affronted look.

Hestia decided to keep reading.

The . .dodge.

Time slowed down.

My legs tensed . . . on his neck.

How did I . . .nearly knocked my teeth out.

"Ow," Theo groaned as he massaged his jaw. "That's so weird."

The . . .burned my nostrils.

Theo sucked in a breath. "Gross!"

"Does it really smell that bad?" asked Mini-Will.

"Worse," Theo promised.

Percy wrinkled his nose. "So glad I'm not the one who has to relieve it," he muttered to Annie and Grover.

They nodded in agreement.

The monster . . .forward.

Meanwhile, Grove . . . bite my own tongue out.

Theo moaned. "Ugh, stupid," he muttered.

"Hate that feeling," said Frank, the futures nodding. "Remind me to never piss off Arion."

"Sure, chinease-canadian baby man," Theo snarked.

"What," deadpanned Reyna.

Theo shrugged, instantly regretting it. "One of the kinder things Arion's called someone."

"I wish I could understand him," said Hazel wistfully.

Theo looked at her strangely, but didn't comment.

"Food!" Grover moaned.

The bull . . . snap!

"So that' how you got it," Annabeth said conversationally.

Everyone stared, except Theo, who laughed. "Yup! At least it's not as gross as some spoils we've gotten," he answered.

Piper nodded. "I hate it when we get the body parts of some monsters," she said, shivering. Noticing the stares, she shrugged. "What? It's not like we pick what the spoils are."

Finding her voice, Clarisse asked the question most people were wondering. "How."

"Adrenaline."

The bull . . . against a rock. . . was blurry

Theo groaned as he doubled over, vision swimming. Luke rubbed his back, but it wasn't helping. "I'm okay," Theo promised. He wasn't though, concussions were the worst. Not as bad as poison though. And there was what happened at the end . . .

But I had . . .a knife.

The monster charged.

Without thinking, I rolled . . . rib cage.

"That shouldn't have worked," Thalia said.

"It's Percy," responded Nico.

Thalia thought for a minute, then shrugged. It was true.

The . . .had burst apart.

The monster was gone.

"Finally," Luke sighed.

"Can we keep going?" asked Theo. "Please?"

The rain . . . felt like it was splitting open.

Theo clutched his head. Somehow, it was ten times worse than it was originally. "I'm . . .fine," he managed to gasp out.

Annabeth shook her head, then asked Hestia if she could keep reading.

I was weak and scared and trembling with grief. I'd . . . . calling out . . . him go.

Theo felt tears prick in his eyes, relieving the torrent of emotions that swirled inside his stomach.

The last thing . . .bring him inside."

"That's it," said Hestia, closing the book. "I believe we were to take a break?" she looked inquiringly at Chiron, who nodded.

"That would probably be best," he said, looking around at the fidgeting demigods.

"Great," said Jason, grabbing Theo and hauling him off of the couch. "Let's go."

"Do I have to?" he whined.

"Yes," Jason bit out. "Annabeth, come on."

When she looked at him curiously, he elaborated. "You know him best, and I'm gonna need someone to grab Thalia, Nico, and Luke."

"Ah." she grabbed Theo's other hand, and together they dragged the protesting Sea Prince down to the Poseidon Cabin, leaving the rest of the demigods.

"Um . . . how 'bout I show you guys bunker 9?" Leo offered, his siblings lighting up.

"I think I'm gonna do the climbing wall," Piper said, Hazel nodding. "I'll come with," she offered.

Following their examples, the rest of the campers split up to wander.

"Be back here in an hour!" Chiron called. Hopefully they listened.