Chapter 5
Speaking Ill of the Dead

Two minutes earlier

When the four magicals walked out of Gringotts, Draco was quiet and sad. He spoke only to ask Hermione, "Why does your Lady Potter ring say 'DG'?"

She replied, "Harry and I aren't married yet. This is my Dagworth-Granger Head of House ring."

Draco sighed. "I was a Head of House, earlier today—for five minutes. Now I'm Potter's slave."

Narcissa put a hand on her son's shoulder. Hermione was silent, and Harry did not know what to say.

Later, in the Great Hall before dinner, Harry noticed Pansy Parkinson looking at him fearfully. Harry presumed that she and Draco had talked.

During dinner, in the Great Hall

Harry was sitting at the Gryffindor table, talking with his friends—Hermione, Neville, George and Luna—and with Susan Bones and Potterwatch's presenter, Lee Jordan. The rest of the Weasley family was sitting well away from Harry and his group. Draco and Narcissa were sitting at the Slytherin table, talking with Pansy, Blaise, Daphne and Millicent. To Harry, it was obvious that the other Slytherins were shunning Narcissa.

Headmistress McGonagall walked up to Harry. She said, "Portrait-Albus insists on speaking with you."

Harry felt annoyed at Dumbledore, who was no longer the headmaster, for summoning Harry during dinner as if Harry were a misbehaving firstie; and Harry felt annoyed at McGonagall for acting like Dumbledore's lapdog, even after the whiskered wizard was dead. In that moment that Harry felt royally cheesed off at Dumbledore, he suddenly saw connexions between many of the unpleasant events in his life.

McGonagall was looking impatient that Harry had not already leapt up and rushed off to the headmistress's office. But instead of leaving Hermione's side, Harry replied to McGonagall, "Oh he insists, does he? Kindly tell Portrait-Dumbledore for me, 'I'm the Vanquisher of the Dark Lord, I'm the Boy-Who-Lived-Twice; you're a painting who in life was as cruel as Voldemort. You've nothing to say that I need to hear, or want to hear.' "

"Mr Potter! Albus Dumbledore deserves your respect!"

"My respect? My respect? From the day I was born, Albus too-many-names Dumbledore plotted how to make me so magically weak and ignorant that when I faced Voldemort, I'd be sure to be killed. Why? So Albus could then rush in, kill Voldy, and get the glory. If Voldemort somehow couldn't kill me, Dumbledore plotted to make me so sad and alone that when I was told about the horcrux in my scar, I'd have no reason not to walk to my death. The Dursleys were part of this plan to demoralise me"—McGonagall looked ashamed—"and an insanely jealous redheaded 'friend' also was part of this plan. Well, Professor, Albus's plan worked—at dawn today, I willingly let Tom Marvolo Riddle AK me."

Everyone within hearing (except for Hermione and George) gasped; they clearly had not suspected anything like this.

Harry continued, "After I died, I went to Limbo. But the piece of Voldemort's soul that was in my scar, it also went to Limbo. And in Limbo, I got to choose which of us would die and which would live. I chose to come back to life. Why? Partially because with the horcrux in the snake having been killed by Neville here"—Luna beamed at Neville and squeezed his arm—"and with the horcrux in my scar also dead because of my Limbo decision, Moldyshorts was mortal. So I finished the job that Trelawney's prophecy gave me, and I killed Tom Marvolo Riddle, a.k.a Lord Voldemort a.k.a You-Know-Who."

The Great Hall burst into applause.

"But!"

The Great Hall quickly silenced.

Harry said, "I did not kill Voldemort to serve Mr Twinkly-Eye's Greater Good. I did not kill Voldy to protect the witches and wizards who believed the Daily Prophet when that paper called me a liar, a cheater, mad, and Cedric Diggory's murderer."

Some people in the room looked down in shame.

"I did not kill Voldemort to save the Hogwarts students who called me the Heir of Slytherin in second year or who wore 'Potter Stinks' badges in fourth year."

Many Hogwarts students, including Susan Bones, looked ashamed.

"Instead, I killed Voldemort to avenge my murdered mother, Lily Potter; my murdered father, James Potter; my murdered godfather, Sirius Black; and to protect my best friend and future wife, Hermione Dagworth-Granger. I came back to life for Hermione, whom Dumbledore's plots and schemes hadn't figured on. Hermione was my comforter and my researcher; Dumbledore was never anything more than—listen to me carefully—a pain in my arse."

Then Harry looked at McGonagall and asked contemptuously, "Finally, headmistress, you're in charge of a ruined school. Don't you have more important things to do now than to be a painting's messenger girl?"

After dinner, still in the Great Hall

Draco still was sitting with the Slytherins. Harry, Hermione and Narcissa were sitting at the end of the Hufflepuff table. The new trio was drawing hostile stare from most of the Weasleys, and curious stares from everyone else—but Harry was used to being stared at.

Narcissa said, "We're being stared at, but you two seem okay with it."

Harry shrugged. "Comes with being the Boy Who Lived. On my eleventh birthday, Hagrid brought me into the Leaky Cauldron. I'd been in the wizarding world for only a minute when strangers came up to me and wanted to shake my hand; this is how I learnt I was famous. At my Sorting, the entire Great Hall went silent, to hear the Hat's decision about me."

Hermione said, "Once I myself became famous as part of 'the Golden Trio,' I became a lightning rod. I was notorious within Hogwarts as the Muggle-born swot who outshined all the Purebloods in class. The Slytherins hated me, especially one blond-haired boy."

Narcissa sighed. "Yes, he wrote me saying as much. And to my shame, it took me years, Miss Granger, to see that you were not a pushy pretender."

Harry laughed. "Aren't we the odd trio? The famous boy who didn't know he was famous, and who dresses like a street urchin. The genius of the school. And you, Narcissa—I'll bet at Hogwarts, you, Andromeda and"—a pause—"Bellatrix were the Princesses of Slytherin."

Narcissa laughed, but it was a sad laugh. "Princesses we were. Whenever the three of us walked into the Great Hall together, everyone watched us walk over to the Slytherin table. But then after those glory days? Drommy refused to marry her contracted betrothed and married a Muggle-born instead, for which she was disowned, Bella became the mad murderess and the Dark Lord's tart, and I married the Pureblood wizard whom Drommy had refused to marry. Then I found out, Drommy was right to reject Lucius."

After this, Harry, Hermione and Narcissa talked honestly—not as famous people, but as three people who had lived three different lives and did not know each other well.

"Your parents," Narcissa at one point said to Hermione, "are Muggle Healers, but they specialise in teeth? Why would they do this?"

Hermione replied, "Because when you can't cast healing spells, many things can go wrong with teeth—almost all of which are painful. Healing teeth the Muggle way requires specialised knowledge."

At one point, Hermione said to Narcissa, "All this emphasis on relatives and family connections that you Purebloods have? It's foreign to me. Once in first year, I heard Daphne Greengrass refer to Millicent Bulstrode as 'my cousin Millicent.' It surprised me that the other Slytherins didn't remark about this. Back when I was in a Muggle primary school in Crawley, I had no idea whether any of my classmates were related to me, even though the Grangers have lived in West Sussex for nearly a hundred years. And if you had pointed out a boy in school and said to me, 'He's your fifth cousin,' my reaction would've been So what?"

After some time of Narcissa and Hermione talking to each other, with Harry saying little, Narcissa frowned. "Lord Potter—"

"Harry, please."

"Harry, you haven't said much more about your life at Hogwarts than I could learn by reading the Prophet—"

"That's because when I'm not getting sucked into trouble, which are the times I'm being written about, my life is boring."

Narcissa stared into Harry's eyes. "I notice you don't talk about your years before Hogwarts, at all. Why?"

It was not Harry who answered, but Hermione: "Narcissa, Harry's life with the Dursleys is a topic he avoids. With everyone. Even me. What little has slipped out, is horrid. Harry is covered with scars, Narcissa. I usually want to know everything about everything"—Harry chuckled—"but when it comes to the Dursleys, I back off."

Harry was silent, thinking; then he came to a decision.

He cast a Muffliato so nobody else could overhear; even so, he leant closer to Narcissa. Hermione also leant in. Harry lowered his voice as he spoke: "From the day I was brought to the Dursleys in November 1981, to the day I received my Hogwarts letter in July 1991, my 'bedroom' was a storage cupboard under the stairs."

Both witches gasped.

Harry continued, "In fact, my Hogwarts letter was addressed to 'the Cupboard under the Stairs.' Listen, making me sleep in a cupboard was one of the milder things the Dursleys did to me."

Hermione said, "They starved him, Narcissa. He'd come to Hogwarts in September thinner than when he'd left in June."

Harry shrugged. "Uncle Vernon regularly found 'reasons' to lock me in my cupboard for days at a time. He'd let me out only for chores. One of which was cooking for my relatives—you have to appreciate the irony of starving whilst you're standing over a hot cooker."

Harry noticed Hermione and Narcissa share an angry look.

The next morning, after breakfast
Sunday, 3rd May
By the Black Lake

Hermione and Narcissa were standing nearby when Harry pulled the strip of parchment out of his pocket. He glanced at the writing, then said, "I call Potter head elf Greyclay."

Pop. A house-elf appeared, who looked older than Dobby and younger than Kreacher. He was wearing a scaled-down grey tuxedo and black cummerbund, with the Potter crest on his left breast.

Narcissa asked, "You dress up your head house-elf? Tea towels are much cheaper."

Harry frowned. "Remember that I was the Heir who came to school dressed in his fat cousin's castoffs. I think I'd be insulting Greyclay if I made him dress in a tea towel. Anyway, Greyclay, thank you for coming to see me."

"Lord Potter," smiling Greyclay said as he bowed, "you have returned to us!"

I miss Dobby so much, Harry thought. But Harry let Greyclay see none of his sadness.

Harry introduced Hermione and Narcissa—whom Greyclay somehow already knew was a Black. Then Harry said to Greyclay, "I wish to see Potter Manor."

This made Greyclay lose his smile. But he dutifully elf-popped Harry, Hermione and Narcissa to the manor house.

It turned out that Potter Manor had three other house-elves. Magically, all four house-elves were starvelings, so Harry had to inject some of his magic into each of them. This made Harry nearly exhausted magically; fortunately Potter Manor had Pepper-Up potion on hand.

(Harry noticed that Narcissa seemed startled that he would give up precious magic in order to make his house-elves healthier.)

With the Potter house-elves now healthy, and with Harry recovering, it was time to tour the damaged Potter Manor.

The three magicals and the four elves walked round the manor house. The news was not good. Part of the roof was caved in. Where two walls of the manor house were supposed to meet, there was a hole running from the ground to the caved-in roof; inside and outside the corner-hole was a pile of burnt stones. Also, the wards were gone.

Inside the manor house, some rooms had water and snow damage. Happily for Hermione, the library was unharmed.

From his pocket, Harry pulled out the key to the Potter family vault and handed the key to Greyclay. "Repair the house, inside and out, to be good as it was before, no matter how much money it costs. When you contract with the goblins for warding and Fidelius, get the deluxe package—give Potter Manor enough protection so that Merlin and his hundred best friends couldn't break in here."

Then Greyclay elf-popped Harry, Hermione and Narcissa back to Hogwarts.

An hour later, in the Great Hall

Harry and Hermione, their expressions serious, walked up to Narcissa at the Slytherin table. Harry asked, "May we talk to you alone?"

As the three magicals were walking towards an empty classroom, Narcissa asked, "What do you want to talk about?"

Harry said, "Hermione has talked me into us doing something that will shake up Wizarding Britain. We're giving you a chance to talk us out of it."

A minute later, the two witches and one wizard had stepped into a classroom, the door had (several different ways) been magically locked, and the room had (several different ways) been magically soundproofed. Now Narcissa looked at Harry and Hermione with a raised eyebrow.

Hermione reached into her bottomless beaded bag and pulled out the Muggle book that she had bought yesterday. Hermione looked at Narcissa and said, "I'm sure you know nothing about Muggle history of the 1940s. So let me explain what Harry and I are thinking..."

Hermione opened the book to a bookmarked page, and laid the book open in front of Narcissa.

Hermione pointed to a photograph in the book.

Narcissa at first was startled that the photograph that she was looking at, did not move. Then she looked at the photograph itself.

A man, wearing clothing that was strange even for Muggles, was sitting in a chair. Covering his ears were strange Muggle earmuffs. A black string came down from each muff; the two strings joined together into one black string; the three strings together made a 'Y'.

A second man was standing next to the sitting man. His clothing was strange too, even for Muggles, but his strange clothing looked different from the sitting man's strange clothing. This man was wearing a strange hat that looked like a bell, but with the bottom part of the bell cut off. This man was not merely standing, he was standing rigidly; and his face was as expressionless as though he had been Imperiused.

Lady Dagworth-Granger explained to Narcissa what was happening in that photograph, and what had happened in the previous seven years to bring those two Muggle men into that room at that time. After some confusion, Narcissa understood that the Muggle man wearing the odd earmuffs was being tried as a criminal of some sort, and the standing man was there to prevent the sitting man from fleeing the courtroom.

When Narcissa first grasped what Lady Dagworth-Granger's present-day idea was, her mind filled with horror.

Eventually Narcissa looked at Lord Potter-etc and said, "So you brought me here to talk you out of what she wants to do?"

He shook his head. "I don't think you can talk me out of it. I think Hermione's idea is a good one. But when things start happening, you'll be blamed by your friends for not hexing sense into me. It's courteous, if people are going to be yelling and screaming at you, for you to be told beforehand what they're yelling and screaming about. Which is why we're explaining our plan to you before we carry out the plan."

Then Narcissa tried her utmost to talk the teenagers out of their insane plan—starting with the words "What you want to do is too drastic!" But her arguments boiled down to When it comes to this, I trust the system to work. Those arguments failed to persuade the teens—because the Boy Who Lived and the Muggle-born girl both knew, down to their bones, that the Wizarding Britain system did not work.

In the end, Narcissa gave the teens a crooked smile. "I did figure that you two would be 'a force for change,' didn't I? I just never figured that the change would include this."

Later that day

Luna, the Daily Prophet, Le Magie du Mond, the Wizarding Wireless Network and Potterwatch had asked Harry and Hermione for interviews. Harry had said yes to the first one and the last three, but the Prophet had been told to take a hike.

Now the time had come for Harry and Hermione to talk to the press.

Harry and Hermione had planned their interviews before they gave them. So now in the interviews, the couple talked about Voldemort's horcruxes, but did not describe how they had located the horcruxes. Harry and Hermione teased that something "interesting" would happen soon in Harry's personal life, but did not say what the interesting news was.

Two bits of explosive news were first mentioned in the interviews: that "Muggle-born" Hermione Granger was now Lady Dagworth-Granger; and that Harry had claimed his Head of House "rings." (Neither Harry nor Hermione mentioned that Harry was Head of twenty Houses, not only two.)

Neither Harry nor Hermione mentioned Narcissa, the Life Debt, or Narcissa becoming Harry's concubine (although hints were dropped).

In Harry's and Hermione's two Sunday interviews, what was absolutely not mentioned, and was not even slightly hinted at, was that the couple planned on Monday to owl-mail a quite special letter.

Nor did the couple hint that some hired owl on Monday would fly the special letter to London—

Specifically, to Number 10, Downing Street in Westminster, London, where Prime Minister Tony Blair hung his hat (which was not a green bowler).