Chapter 5: The End of an Era

Edward POV:

Watching Bella sleep was one of the many highlights of my day. I never really knew what she thought about, but while dreaming she would tell me even if she did not intend to. I took pleasure in knowing her thoughts and knowing what she dreamed of. It calmed me. Once she quietly whispered sweet ´I love you's, all my doubts faded away.

However, tonight was different. She was restless. She murmured and was obviously distressed. It broke my heart since I knew I was to blame for that. And I didn't want that. I didn't want the woman I deeply love, to be distressed. She deserved to be happy. She deserves someone better.

I could not shake the feeling that I needed to give her space. I didn't want that. More than anything I've ever wanted was to be a normal human being and to live my life with Bella right next to me. To grow old with her. When I was with her, I felt normal. I felt happy. I took great pleasure in knowing that this remarkable woman, this godsend creature, could love me. Me! A soulless vampire! Silly thoughts! She shouldn't love me. I was a great danger to her. I needed to go away. Let her live her life. Let her be happy.

NO! Another part of me shouted. Stay with her. She loves you. You love her. There is nothing else that matters. And there was nothing in the whole damn world I would love more for that to be true.

When morning came, I had made a decision. The hardest decision that I ever had to make in my entire life. I would set Bella free. It would kill me, but I needed her safe. There was nothing else in this world that I wanted more than for her to be safe and live a happy life. Being in danger every day, being around vampires that could kill her instantly, was not safe. It was not normal. Things could go wrong in the blink of an eye and I could not bear that thought. I love her more than I had ever loved anything else, and she deserves the world. So, I would set her free.

Once I had made that final decision, I spent the last few moments I had with Bella savouring every second. I buried my face in her hair, and let the strawberry sweet scent devour me. I smiled to myself since I knew the first time we had met, Bella thought I hated the smell of her hair. Little did she know at the time that I loved her smell. More than I should. I put my face right next to hers, and could not help but wonder what would have happened if I were still human. If I were her boyfriend who could not sleep and simply observed his sleeping girlfriend. I sank back into the pillows and looked at every curve of her body. Her body was changing ever so slightly, barely noticeable to the human eye. But I could see it. I could see her hips had grown a little bit over the last couple of months. I could see her breasts had swollen ever so slightly. Her body changed almost every day. Just as it should. Just as it would if I never turn her into a vampire.

I promised myself I will not let that happen. I promised myself right there and then, that this precious human being was the centre of my world and she would live a safe and happy life.

´I´m sorry Bella,´ I whispered. She shivered. She couldn't have heard me, but perhaps her non-awake instincts felt something change within me. But perhaps I was just thinking too much of it.

After a long night of bad sleep, she eventually woke up. I kissed her forehead, before leaving and going home. If I had talked to her that morning, would things have gone differently? I wouldn't know. I only knew that if I would talk to her, I could never leave. Never.

Upon arriving, I saw my sister Alice patiently waiting for me. Her seeing the future was amazing at times. Today was not one of them. She loves Bella and sees her as her best friend. She saw my decision to leave her. She wanted to interfere with that. I didn't want that. Stubbornness runs in the family, you could say.

´Before you say anything, I don't want to hear it,´ I said as quickly as I could.

Her eyes flashed with anger. ´You cannot do that to me. And you cannot do that to her. You have no right.´

´You think I don´t know that!?´ I said as I stood before her. ´You don't know what I´m feeling, Alice. You don't know what it's like to be afraid to hurt the one person you love the most. Now do you?´ I raised my arms to the sky. ´I don't know what I need to do to protect her. While she clearly needs protection from me. From us,´ I added softly.

´You will only hurt her this way, is that what you want? For her to feel miserable?´

That hit a nerve. I shook my head and headed inside. I could not deal with her right now. Alice clearly wasn't having any of that and quickly followed me.

´And you're only thinking about yourself. She is my friend too, you know. Don't be so egotistical. Please just think this through,´ she begged.

´I CAN'T think this through, Alice,´ I shouted at her. My parents and siblings didn´t know how to respond to my sudden outburst but I didn't care. ´Nothing makes sense anymore if I think this through. I won't be able to do it if I think this through. But the thing is, I NEED to do it. It's the only solution. I leave her or she becomes a vampire. There are no other options than that and I don't want her to die. I don't want her to become a vampire. I will not let that happen. So I´m sorry, but this is my choice to make. And I don't want your opinion to interfere with that.´ With that last sentence, I ran into my room.

Lucky me, I can hear thoughts. Lucky me, I can hear disapproving thoughts. Lucky me, I can hear disapproving thoughts about the consequences of my own action. Just great!

´If only I had controlled my thirst,´ Jasper thought. ´None of this would have happened.´

´This can't be happening. He looked so upset. I wonder how I can ease his pain,´ Esme thought.

´I will talk some sense into that boy,´ Carlisle thought.

´What a drama queen,´ Rosalie thought.

´Rose, please don't say anything negative out loud. He can't handle it right now. Please, I´m begging you,´ Emmett thought.

But the worst thoughts were Alice´s.

´This will crush Bella. This will crush Edward. I can´t stop it, oh no. Why did he have to be so stubborn, why? This is not good. How can I prevent this? How can I say my goodbyes to Bella?´

Eventually, they all began to speak.

´So, is it true? Do you see Edward leaving Bella in the future?´ Carlisle asked Alice.

´I wish it weren't true,´ she said sadly. ´And we can't do anything about it. I´m devastated, I can't see them returning to each other either.´

I wish I hadn't heard that last part. A very small part of me wished Alice could not see me leave Bella. That I could still stay. That we could still make it work. I would have to be a little bit more careful, though. But now I knew; I really wasn't coming back to her. I could not feel pain, but this was easily the hardest, most devastating feeling I had ever felt in my entire 120-year-old life.

Now the only thing that was left on my mind was; how? How could I do it? I needed it to be as convincing as possible. A clean break. A fresh start. That would be the easiest. But how could I convince her? How could I convince her that she -the very centre of my world- would be better off without me?

I had to dump her. For no reason. Even the words alone hurt me, and I hadn't even done the dumping. For the first time in my life, I was happy I would not have to hear Bella's thoughts. I could not hear what she was thinking, and still, go through with it. I would cup her face in both my hands and mumble all excuses I knew. I was weak.

So for the next few days, I would go to school, while Carlisle would finish up his hospital work. We all had to leave. We all had to leave Forks. We all had to leave her. It was for the best. It was for the best. It was for the best. I thought as if I had to convince myself.

I changed clothes, got into my car and drove to Forks highschool. The beginning of the end of our relationship had begun. I waited for a few minutes before I saw her car arrive.

Showtime.

I opened her door for her and asked her how she felt. She gave a one-worded answer; ´fine,´ before heading towards the school entrance. I knew she wanted to talk about last night. I wouldn't let her, as it was hard enough to leave her as it is. I could feel her anxiety, I heard her irregular heartbeat, but I could not ease away her pain.

I´ve decided that the best way to leave her, would be to act as unapproachable as possible. That way, it would not have to come as shockingly as if I were happy these last few days. Bella didn't ask any questions, as if she could sense I needed space. She probably thought I needed some space to clear my head. Little did she know, I never needed space from her. She needed space from me.

During lunchtime, Bella noted that the rest of my family would not be joining us. I couldn´t be bothered listening to their thoughts about my upcoming break-up, and I didn't want to change my mind. Bella asked where Alice was.

´She´s with Jasper,´ I eventually answered, avoiding eye contact. Not a lie, I was doing great thus far.

That seemed to caught her off guard. ´Oh no, and Jasper had to leave, right?´ She looked at me and placed her warm hand on my forearm. ´I sure hope he will get back soon, I hate to be a burden.´

I couldn't tell her; ´don't be ridiculous, you´re not a burden´ so instead I looked away from her. That seemed to upset her, but she let it slide. We didn't talk at all during that day and I knew it was only the beginning.

Once school was over, we walked over to her car. She turned around and gave me a fierce look, one I could not quite understand.

´So Edward, I´ll see you tonight,´ she said. I saw I was not allowed to discuss this or talk back to her. I was only allowed to come, no further questions asked. I had to keep myself from smiling and tried to give her an uninterested look.

´Fine,´ I said, as I turned around and walked over to my own car. I had to keep up this facade of me being unbothered, but oh… This day bothered me greatly.

Bella POV:

This was ridiculous. It was absurd. I didn't know what came over me, but after almost a full day of being ignored, I couldn't take it anymore. I demanded him to see me. He could not just ignore me like that, that was just cruel.

He was clearly shutting me out. Perhaps he felt sad? Perhaps he felt responsible? Perhaps he was just having an off day? I didn't know what it was, but it pissed me off. I drove to my house, did all my homework, cooked a simple meal for Charlie and me and once I heard Charlie putting on the television, I went to my room. I knew Edward was already there, his hearing was outstanding and he must have heard me coming upstairs.

´I'll skip over all formalities,´ I said. ´What's up with you today?´

He was clearly taken aback by my attack. Served him right, I thought.

´Bella, I don´t know what you´re talking about.´

´Oh no, Edward. You do not get to act all innocent,´ I said. ´You have ignored me all day. Tell me what's bothering you, please.´

He looked up and I saw Edward again. I saw the person he was before all the drama happened at my party. He had beautiful golden brown coloured eyes who looked at mine sincerely, and I knew I had him back. I knew he was giving me the answers I needed. I've felt it. I was feeling secure, instantly. It took only one look from him to calm me again.

´Bella, I promise you….´

´Go on.´

´I promise you it will all make sense. Not right now, but it will. Believe me.´

I would not be brushed off with that answer.

´You're being very cryptic, Edward. I can't help but feel that there is something off right now.´

He gave me a crooked smile before he said; ´Just please, I need to figure some things out. Please give it time.´

He walked over until he stood in front of me. He gave my forehead a kiss, said ´please´ one more time and ran out of my window. Something was off, I could not name what it was, but something was off.

The next day, nothing really had changed since our last encounter. He didn't say anything to me and he was lost in his thoughts and I gave him a little bit more space. He would come back to me eventually. He would tell me what bothered him eventually, I was sure of that.

At the end of the day, I´ve decided to drive to the Cullen´s estate. If Alice was still in Forks, she would have seen me coming. I needed to hear her opinion. We were friends through and through, but she knew her brother longer than I did, so she could perhaps give me some advice on how to approach him in his state right now. I didn't know what to make of his behaviour, if I should give him some more space or if I should demand more open communication between us, but she could for sure tell me what was best. I almost arrived at their house, but what I saw left me in shock.

Their house was empty! Completely empty. There was no furniture left. Nothing? How? Why? What did this mean? Were they leaving? No, they can't leave! Edward would have told me! He would have. This made no sense. Absolutely none. He couldn´t be this mad at me, could he? No, that can't be right. Edward wasn't mad at me, he told me that. But what was the meaning of all of this?

Walking around the house, I tried to find a Cullen to talk to. It didn't even matter which one. I needed answers. I would even gladly talk to Rosalie, and I meant that. Seriously. I´ve never liked her and she made no secret about the fact she could not stand me, but I would love to talk about her right now. Even her. So that said something. I really needed answers. Just my luck, since I couldn't find a single one.

Maybe they all went hunting, I thought to myself. They could do that. They would come back immediately. I just had to wait.

You stupid cow, you don´t need furniture to hunt. What are you thinking? They are gone. They have left.

But why? Why would they leave?

Eventually, I just gave up. I was standing in front of a vampire house, what did I expect? Even if all Cullens were there, they could be running around me and I couldn't see them with those stupid human eyes of mine. I got in my car and left.

What do I need to do now? The following day at school was practically the same, only Edward wasn't there. At all. Now I was really worried. What had happened?

Once school was over, I rushed towards my car. I wanted to drive to his house again, to give him a piece of my mind. But much to my surprise, Edward was standing right next to it.

´Get in the car, we need to talk,´ I told him. Who did he think he was, showing up at my car after barely speaking with me for days? After I´ve seen their house, as empty as they get. I needed to put him in his place but I didn't want to cause a public scene.

Edward POV:

I had anticipated Bella being angry. She had every right to be, as I was shutting her out of my life. But she wasn´t just angry with me; she was furious. Truth to be told, I was a little taken aback by it. Just as she said, I sat in the car right next to her. She drove away from school, and into the highway.

´Start talking, Edward,´ she spilled.

´I don't know where to start…,´ I tried.

She gave me a sarcastic smile; ´You better start by explaining to me why the hell your house is completely empty. All furniture is gone!´

I was shocked to hear that she went to my house. Damn you, Alice, I thought. I had asked her to stop seeing the future regarding me and Bella. She could have said she saw Bella at our house, then I could have prepared for it. My mind was blank.

´I´ll tell you once you stop driving, okay?´

Oh no, that only made her angrier. She was trying to control her emotions right now, but she could not control her furious heartbeat. This was going to be harder than I thought it would be. Maybe I needed to rip the band-aid off immediately. Bella, we´re leaving! No, she would think she'll leave with us. Bella, my family and I are leaving! No, she would still want to come with us. Oh no, what can I tell her? I can also use Carlisle as an excuse since he looked younger than he should be. Yes, that's great. I can tell her that. Perfect. Excellent.

She pulled the car over and quickly got out.

´Alright, start talking Edward. You're gone all day and your house is empty. What's with that?´

I looked away, took a deep breath and prepared myself for the hardest conversation I ever had to have. The end goal was Bella´s safety, and I needed to think about that. Me leaving equals a safe and happy Bella. Think about that! You can do this, Edward, I told myself.

´We´re leaving,´

Short and to the point, I thought.

´What do you mean, ¨we´re leaving¨? You better explain to me why, Edward,´ she responded.

´Bella, we need to leave. Carlisle looks way younger than he is supposed to be. People are already asking questions. My family needs to leave Forks.´

´I´m not having any of this, Edward. Oh so suddenly, you need to leave. Why now? Why have I never heard of this before? When were you planning on telling me? Did you plan to tell me after all? What about me? Ever thought about that?´

I couldn't leave her, I thought. I couldn't even answer her questions. I couldn't even answer them for myself, let alone tell her lies forcing her to believe them. I needed to be harder. I needed to step up my game. You´re doing this for Bella! I shouted at myself. You´re doing this for her. For her safety. To protect her. Do it! Now!

´I´m sorry Bella, but I need to leave and I don't want you to come,´ I emphasised the words ¨I¨ and ¨you¨.

That's when I saw her change. I saw her noticeably change in front of me. She changed from an angry woman demanding answers to why her boyfriend was ignoring her, into an insecure teenage girl standing in front of her boyfriend who said something that hurt her more than if I had slapped her. I looked away, I could not handle it.

´But…. But why,´ she asked. ´What changed?´

´It was bound to happen, Bella. That story about the lion and the lamb, falling in love with each other? I don´t know… We were just a time bomb, waiting until the explosion.´

´I don't believe you. You´re just saying things. It doesn't make any sense.´ I heard the desperation in her voice. In return, I´ve avoided her eyes since it's already hard enough to leave her as it is.

Oh Bella, I tell you every day how much I love you. How do I tell you that this is only for your own good? It's the same as convincing someone the earth is no longer round. It's the same as convincing someone birds no longer fly. It's the same as convincing someone the sun no longer shines. How do I tell you that the life you´ve lived and the love you´ve felt, soon disappear?

´You´re not good for me, Bella.´ The final dagger.

´You really mean that, Edward?´ She wanted eye contact. She wanted to see my face, to see I wasn't lying to her. I tried to look as dead, as cold as possible. I could not answer her, so I nodded instead. Taking another deep breath, I turned to her and made my face unreadable.

´I mean it. We have to leave, but we won't bother you again. I promise that this will be the last time you'll see me or my family. We won't come back. We won't put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without any more interference from us. It will be as if we'd never existed.´

She closed her eyes. ´No,´ she whispered. ´No, I won't allow you to. You can't do that.´ She also took a deep breath before she continued. ´I don´t know what has changed these last few days, but this isn't you. Please just talk to me about it.´ She started crying. It took all of my willpower to not run to her, fall on my knees and beg her to forgive me. I'm only doing this for you, Bella. Please forgive me!

´I´ve made up my mind, Bella. I´m not human. I will never be human again. And I don't want to pretend that I am one.´

´But even if that's true, Edward… Why have you never told me that before today?´

´The incident with Jasper made me realise it, Bella. I'm not good for you. You´re not good for me. We don´t fit. We will never fit.´ Even I shocked myself by the harshness in my tone. She would have to believe this lie. I sounded so convincing.

´You don't get to decide that! What about me! What about Alice!´

´Alice already left. It's better to not say goodbye to her. And you´re just human, you'll get over it. This is just a teenage crush.´ I actually really hoped it would be for her. Please let her get over it soon. Please.

´So you just planned this whole thing? I can't see Alice anymore. You planned that. I´ll have to pretend I never knew you. You planned that. Apparently, we're done and you planned that? What's next? Do I get to decide anything? No, right? It's just you. It's always just been you! What gave you the right?! You aren´t the leader and I´m your follower. No!´ Anger had replaced her sadness.

´You know what? Fine! The almighty had spoken. Do you want to leave? Fine by me! Goodbye Edward!´ Bella said as she turned around and left.

I was shocked. She believed my lies, how could she believe my lies? But I was more shocked by the fact that she walked away. She literally walked away. She got angry with me and left. I did not see that one coming. That woman amazed me every day, I thought with a smile. Then it hit me. This was the last time I ever saw her. She left. The centre of my universe had just left, and all I felt was sorrow. What had I done? Oh no, what had I done?

A/N: Aaaaahw, they have broken up. But don´t worry, their story is far from over!