A/N: Hope you're all hanging in there! I will continue to update when I can. Enjoy this chapter from a different POV! Some of the dialogue is directly from the movie - so if it seems familiar, that's why :) Stay safe, all!
Chapter Five
The Cell
***POV: Rey***
There was no one who had entered the room. It was not an unwelcome feeling but rather a tug. Like it was announcing itself to him. It took only a few seconds for him to realize that nobody had entered the room. There was no break in. Snoke was not trying to enter his mind. No. Rey was waking up.
Cool air flowed in and out of Rey's lungs. The cadence of the rise and fall of her chest felt second nature… mind numbing but in a good way. She felt completely at ease. The false feeling of weight around her limbs that she usually felt after rare nights of restful sleep was surrounding her body. Weird. She didn't remember falling asleep. Come to think of it she doesn't even know where she was.
Rey quickly began to realize the weight she felt around her limbs was indeed very real. Panic immediately swelled up in her chest like an unstoppable wave of heat. A cold sweat broke out on her body despite the slight chill of the environment around her. Everything was clammy - like a fever. Why couldn't she open her eyes? Why couldn't she move at all? She was unable to even make a pull on the restraints. It was almost like she was sedated. Wait… what if she was? She fought back the feeling of her throat closing up knowing that it was only her fear impeding her from breathing. She could hear her heart pounding incessantly in her ears and it seemed with each strong pulse more panic spread through her.
She realized that she was getting out of control again. No. No matter what, she could not lose control like she has in the past. She'd rather die. She forced herself to become numb like she always did. It was like a switch for her that she could turn on and off. It's how she survived… and it's how she was going to survive whatever this is. After a few painstaking seconds which honestly felt like hours, she could feel herself get a grip. Her arms and legs had more feeling than before… but she still couldn't move them. But maybe this was good news, maybe the sedative was wearing off? This meant she at least had the chance of escaping. What was more important for now was trying to figure out how she got here.
Rey allowed herself to calm down further before she began to search her mind for a possible answer. She remembered being with that droid, BB-8. That little guy was such welcome company after such a long time of being alone. She remembered meeting Finn and escaping Jakku and running into Han Solo. A feeling of happiness dissipated through her at the memory of Han. He offered her a job after only knowing her for a day or so. Something about him felt right… like he already cared for her without actually wanting anything in return. Her gut feelings about people were almost never wrong. Han was a good man… maybe a bit of an asshole but in an endearing way. He was comfortable which is why it hurt so much to turn down his offer to stay and work with him.
Then there was Finn. He was... interesting. He wasn't bad but Rey's gut never sat completely still around him. At first she chalked it up to the pure adrenaline of escaping Jakku and inadvertently (accidently) joining the resistance. He was eager to help and he obviously wanted to connect with her… but something about him just seemed so desperate. It wasn't lust or greed… it was something else.
In that moment Rey's memory flashed to her last interaction with Finn on that green planet. He fucking lied to her. She was a pawn. Again. Heat flooded her face as she remembered the embarrassment and shame she felt at getting played by someone she cared about… again. He was never part of the Resistance. He wasn't even a Resistance sympathizer. No. He was a fucking runaway Stormtrooper. He used her.
"Don't go."
She remembered pleading with him. He lied to her face and she pleaded with him to stay. How fucked was that? She would never learn. She would always be used. Life had a funny way of reminding her of this over and over again. It did not matter what planet she was on.
Then her memory moved her to the basement of Maz's place on Takodana. There was something calling to her. She had gone into the basement under the bar they were in. The higher pitches of the band's music were becoming more and more distorted as she allowed herself to follow the pull deeper into the building. In the back there was a case with a lightsaber. She knew what it was before she touched it.
Rey pushed back the memories of how upon touching the lightsaber it flooded her emotions with past memories… painful memories. There were voices that were unfamiliar speaking to her. But what was more disturbing were the voices she did recognize… her own voice… her screaming. It was all so confusing and chaotic but one thing was abundantly clear, she was force sensitive. She had known this for a while now… but this only confirmed what she already knew and feared. She was force sensitive and had to be trained in the Jedi way. The only problem was that there were no teachers left that could teach her the ways of the force. Once again, she was alone. Great. Another reason for people to think she was a freak. This is why she needed to get back to Jakku.
At this thought, Rey recalled what Maz had said to her upon finding her on the ground after the lightsaber incident.
"Whomever you're waiting for on Jakku - they're never coming back."
Rey wished for nothing more than the ability to scream right now. Scalding, painful energy was ripping its way through her body. She had no place in this universe. She never did. She never will. She lost that privilege long ago. Fuck. FUCK. She could feel herself spiraling - she was getting out of control and there was very little stopping it.
It's fine. I'm fine. It isn't my fault. Don't let go.
It's fine. I'm fine. It isn't my fault. Don't let go.
A feeling similar to falling accompanied by shortness of breath was overtaking her. She could feel cold metal poking into her back and restraining her arms and legs. Just when it felt too overwhelming and that she might pass out again (not an unwelcome possibility) Rey's eyes snapped open and her body pulled against her restraints in a jolt from completely coming to.
She quickly looked around to assess her surroundings and her eyes immediately fell to a tall masked figure sitting close by and staring directly at her. She expected to feel an adrenaline rush circuit through her in anticipation of fighting or pain - but it never came. Weird. She quickly looked down to see any damage done to her body but found none. All she could see were the restraints around each of her wrists and her legs. Other than that, nothing was out of place - even her hair was as she left it. Nobody had hurt her… yet.
"Where am I?" she asked as she attempted to look into the mask of the figure in front of her. She learned long ago that making herself seem calm and unaffected was her best bet on getting out alive.
"You are my guest." He responded in a low voice. It was unclear if her captor's voice was actually that low or if it was distorted by his mask. He matched her level of calmness she was trying to portray. She probed further.
"Where are the others?'
Rey felt the energy in the room change as soon as she asked this. It wasn't an angry energy - it was something else. Despite this shift, she still felt like she wasn't completely in danger. Maybe the sedative was still wearing off?
"You mean the murderers, traitors, and thieves you call friends?" he spat out, "You'll be relieved to know I have no idea."
Rey chose to remain silent.
"You still want to kill me."
The way he said this was like he was asking a question - like he was curious. She didn't like that. She wasn't some animal on display. Rey let down her guards slightly and broke her facade calmness.
"That's what happens when you're being hunted by a creature in a mask."
She wanted to hurt him and make him angry. Those emotions would at least make sense. She could be prepared for anger and rage - even torture. None of what happened so far made any sense and Rey did not know what to make of it.
He didn't move. He didn't respond. He just continued to stare at her and the emotions in the room remained stagnant.
Rey watched in shock as he slowly moved his hands to the sides of his menacing helmet and began to take it off his head. The mouthpiece moved out first which confirmed her suspicions that his voice was at the very least slightly distorted. The rest of the helmet came off in one swift motion and Rey saw her captors face for the first time.
He was a man. Like... an actual human. She did not know what she was expecting but it certainly was not what sat in front of her. He didn't have any harsh features and he almost looked.. Scared?
He stood up and began to make his way towards her. She could see his full height now. She assumed that any intimidation he was able to project was mainly due to his size. It wasn't just his height that made him menacing. His shoulders were incredibly broad and despite the black fabric of his garb, she could tell that he was incredibly built. His shoulders and torso were a dead giveaway.
He took his helmet and roughly smashed it down on a nearby countertop… which for some reason had dirt on it? He never broke eye contact with her and she never broke from his gaze. The way he was looking at her wasn't predatory. She didn't feel like she was in danger. He looked expectant… like he was waiting for her to make a move… like he was anticipating something from her.
He continued to hold her gaze and he got close to the point where his boots almost met her bottom shackles. Fuck. This was the part Rey knew was going to happen. It didn't matter what feeling was hanging in the room, she was about to get tortured, beaten, or worse… and there was nothing she could do about it. She finally broke eye contact with him, turned her head, and found a place on the wall to focus on. She had been through this before and she could do it again. Nothing - even physical pain - lasts forever. If she died, she died. At this thought, she pushed back tears
Her captor took a deep breath and spoke.
"Tell me about the droid."
Um… not what she was expecting. The droid? Rey quickly began to piece together what little she had to go off of. BB-8 was looking to return to the rebellion. It had information about Luke Skywalker… a jedi. There were people looking for BB-8. Then it hit her. She was captured by the First Order. Flashes of the brief fight she had with this man quickly went through her mind. This man might not be a creep but she definitely was not safe, nor were her friends if she didn't get out fast.
"He's a BB unit with a selenium drive and a thermal hyperscan indicator -" she started calmly. He took a tired breath before he interrupted her with a measured tone.
"It's carrying a section of a navigational chart. And we have the rest, recovered from the archives of the Empire - but we need the last piece. And somehow, you convinced the droid to show it to you. You... a scavenger."
This man in front of her did not seem angry yet Rey could feel such intense emotions continuing to ricochet through her. Rey felt her eyes begin to fill with tears. She was not afraid. She was not sad. None of this made sense. It was all just too much happening at once. And again, she found herself in a position where she held no power. She continued to stare at the wall ahead and said nothing while she navigated her emotions spilling into the room.
There was a charged pause before the man in front of her spoke again as he continued to step closer to her.
"You know I can take whatever I want?"
He said this softly and for some reason she knew he did not mean harm towards her. She had heard those words before in a similar context. This man's energy felt different but it didn't stop the wave of nausea and hot spikes to prickle all over her at that menacing phrase.
He brought his hand up to the side of her head. She instinctively flinched and drew in a sharp breath. A cool sensation crept into her ears and gently probed its way into the back of her head. While not painful, it felt oddly intimate… and at this moment, unwelcome. She looked away from him. It was the very least she could do considering she was shackled like an animal to a table. Despite her efforts, she could feel his breath on her cheek as he spoke into her ear.
"Yes… so lonely." He stated. "So afraid to leave at night… desperate for sleep."
Tears rose to Rey's eyes as she realized what he was doing. Silly of her to think that her memories were safe. The man continued to speak softly, as if he wasn't invading her mind.
"You imagine an ocean. I see it… I see the island."
The energy in the room suddenly crackled. Her captor's tone shifted to something different and definitely not as gentle.
"Han Solo. You feel he's the father you never had. He would have disappointed y-"
That was enough. Rey willed her mind to violently lash out against the cool sensation embracing her skull. She was barely hanging on to what little control she had left. She did not miss the flash of pain that briefly passed through the man's eyes.
"You get out of my head!"
"I know you've seen the map. It's in there… and now you'll give it to me."
He said this as more of a statement while he stepped back and reached his arm out to her. Rey felt her back arch off the table and her head come forward. The once gentle and slow cooling sensation was back but now felt more like a cascading river entering every crevice of her mind. Places he had no business being, especially since he was only after one thing - the damn map. Rey fought with all she was to not let him see anything, or at least the important things.
"Don't be afraid…" he murmured "I feel it, too."
"I'm not... Giving. You. Anything." she gasped.
His mouth turned upwards in a quick smile only to fall as he said, "We'll see."
The feelings in her head now felt like a whirlpool. Yes, she was a captive and a prisoner of war with valuable information - but something felt off. It was like he was looking everywhere rather than probing for just one piece of information. The longer he searched her memories like pages in a book, the more and more Rey was filled with rage.
She could feel the familiar pressure beginning to build at the back of her throat. The feeling of invisible glass shards in her every pore began to dig and only encouraged her focus. Her inner heat was rising and for just a second she allowed herself to let go. She propelled every feeling and sensation outwards from her body and mind. To an outsider it was silent, but in her mind, she was exploding and the sound was deafening.
The darkly clothed man stumbled back. He took a second of steady himself as she quickly regained control over herself. He looked at her surprised… and then, something else? He looked down and murmured something that she couldn't quite hear over the continued ringing in her ears from her last episode.
"I told you to get out of my head! Now what the hell are you saying?"
She expected some sort of anger response from him. Even annoyance would have made some sense. But all he did was meet her gaze and take a deep breath.
"I said, life hasn't been fair to you."
Any semblance of logic or perception left Rey at his words. She looked into his eyes and realized that he had seen a lot… but not everything. She would know if he had.
"What gave you the right to do that to me?! We both know that it's not just the droid you're looking for. Who are you?"
He met her gaze and paused as if to contemplate his answer.
"Your people and the beings on this ship call me Kylo Ren."
"... But that's not your real name?"
"No but that's not important right now."
She could see regret in his features before she spat out her next words.
"IMPORTANT?! You just broke into my mind. I don't even know how to comprehend how you did that! I'm your fucking prisoner, tied to a table, in a room with a man who hides behind a mask. So no, maybe it isn't important to you - come to think of it, I don't really care either. But at least have the decency to answer one fucking question for me!"
A look of surprise fell onto his face as he stumbled on his next words.
"I - I know. You're right. But I can't right now. You'll find out when the time is right."
He began to cautiously back away from the table not letting his eyes leave her gaze. Rey lost her patience. It seemed her episode had not quite finished.
"No FUCK YOU. You don't get to use me like that and then walk away like I'm trash. Like I'm a -"
"Scavenger?" He finished.
With that, Rey pulled back and straightened her spine. A different wave than before washed over her. This time, it felt as though the air became stale and dry. She could feel something similar to static thrum from her abdomen, down her arms, and into her finger tips. For the first time all day, Rey felt like she had power. She tilted her chin up as if she were looking upon a servant. Without knowing what she was doing, she roughly channeled her energy into Kylo's mind. She ripped through, barely looking at his memories. She didn't care. All she wanted was for him to hurt. Then she sensed something, almost like a whisper giving a message that she somehow could already process before she would shift her focus again.
"You're - you're afraid," she began. She leaned her face closer to the man so there was no mistaking what she was saying "that you'll never be as strong as Darth Vader."
A beat. The man she now knew as Kylo Ren looked at her with something she could not quite discern. It seemed he was holding his breath, waiting for her next move. She was done with whatever game he was playing. She could not waste anymore of her energy on him in case she needed it later.
Kylo shifted his gaze to the restraint on her wrist and then back to her face. She waited for the slap or any form of retaliation. Instead, he slowly nodded - seemingly to himself, and turned away from her to his helmet. In a swift motion he put his helmet back on, walked up to the keypad by the electric doors, and left the chamber.
She was left by herself. Something felt odd about everything that just happened, but she quickly shook that feeling and left it for another time. She had to get out of this ship. Surely she could figure something out. Yet the solitude leant itself to a feeling of comfort. Yes, she was a prisoner, but the silence is what she was used to. Rey was quite good at being alone.