Author Notes: Here's chapter 5! Thank you to everyone who followed/favorited/reviewed this story. I really appreciate it.
I hope y'all enjoy it!
Chapter 5: Ominous Dark Clouds
Kazuya wasn't sure whether to breathe a sigh of relief or feel irritated.
He clicked his tongue as he watched Sawamura run around the field with his trusty tire.
… Never mind.
Definitely irritated.
Because while it took him a little bit to get over their loss, he bounced back (like he knew Sawamura would), ready to practice a lot more and get ready for the fall tournament.
But he wasn't irritated about that.
(In fact, he was relieved. Maybe even happy a little bit.)
What irritated him was how Sawamura seemed glued to his phone lately. The only time he didn't look at it was when he was practicing.
He knew without even looking that Sawamura was spending all his time texting Mei.
It wasn't affecting baseball or his commitment to the team, so he couldn't scold him (even though he wanted to for some reason).
Although it was getting to a point where he suspected that Sawamura was starting to overwork himself.
Again.
It only got worse once Koushien started.
(Which confused him because shouldn't it be the other way around? How did Mei have all this free time to text Sawamura?)
Sawamura paid attention to any piece of news about Koushien.
More specifically, any news about Mei.
(And after that news article came out, calling Mei 'Prince of the Capital', he could've sworn he saw Sawamura change Mei's contact name to 'My Prince'. But he had only gotten a brief look at his phone before Sawamura turned away, so maybe… No, hopefully, it was just his imagination.)
Watching Mei pitch motivated Sawamura (and Furuya to a lesser extent), as Sawamura practiced even more, loudly proclaiming that he wouldn't lose.
Even though his control kept slipping during their practice games.
He made sure to scold him, but it kept happening.
But since this was Sawamura, he wasn't too worried.
This was probably some temporary thing.
ZZZ
It wasn't temporary.
Sawamura had the yips.
He was too busy with the team and the other pitchers to try and help him, but that didn't mean he didn't think about him.
(And maybe the truth was… he didn't know how to help him.)
Practice wasn't the same without his loud voice or bright smiles.
And he could tell everyone felt the same as him.
He couldn't help but notice that ever since he had gotten the yips, Sawamura hadn't been texting Mei as much.
… Which was understandable, considering they were on different teams. And although he was still dating him, Sawamura regarded him as his rival.
He probably didn't want his rival to witness his vulnerable state.
Unfortunately for Sawamura, Mei didn't take being ignored kindly, even calling him on their next weekend.
And while he didn't know what was said, he could only assume Mei scolded him and demanded that they meet up, as Sawamura immediately told them that he had plans for the afternoon.
… He couldn't stop him from going.
Even though he worried that Mei would only make things worse, he didn't have the heart to stop him.
Maybe, just maybe, Mei wouldn't mess up this time.
If he actually cared about Sawamura, now was the time to show it.
Or he would kill him the next time he saw him and damn the consequences.
ZZZ
Mei tapped his foot impatiently, waiting for his boyfriend just outside Inashiro grounds.
They didn't win at Koushien, their loss only working to motivate him even more.
And while he and the rest of his teammates practiced hard, he still had enough time to text Sawamura (much to his teammates' irritation).
(He wasn't blind.
He saw the way his teammates gave his phone confused looks. The way they glared at him when they thought he wasn't looking. He had told them that they wouldn't let the results of the summer tournament finals game affect their relationship, but his teammates didn't listen to him. So whenever he caught them looking, he always gave them a triumphant smirk, taking delight at seeing the obvious displeasure on their faces.)
But lately, Sawamura hadn't been texting him.
Which worried him (not that he would admit it out loud).
Ever since he started dating him, Sawamura had texted him frequently, even texting him while he was at Koushien.
So he didn't understand why he stopped suddenly.
He perked up as he watched Sawamura turn the corner.
He was finally here.
To his surprise, Sawamura sprinted toward him, almost bumping into a few things, as he wasn't looking where he was going.
He was going to trip over something at this rate.
But before he could tell him to slow down or look where he was going, Sawamura slowed down a couple of meters away, tackling him once he was close enough.
Thankfully, Sawamura didn't knock him over, which he feared might happen, but he still ended up taking a few steps backward from the impact.
"Sawamura, what…?"
He froze at feeling Sawamura's shoulders tremble, his boyfriend's arms immediately wrapping around him.
If it were anyone else, he would've shoved them away in disgust.
But this was Sawamura.
He wrapped his arms around him, keeping him close.
And it seemed he did something right because Sawamura immediately tightened his arms around him, burying his face in his shoulder, as if that could hide what was going on.
It was a little strange, seeing him like this.
… Okay, it was really strange.
He thought Sawamura would cry loudly, easily drawing attention to himself like the attention seeker that he was.
But Sawamura, who normally wouldn't shut up even if he told him to, was so… quiet.
No loud noises.
No gasps or yelling in his ears.
Not even a whimper.
It was painful to see him like this.
And even though he wanted to ask, his tongue refused to work, as if it were glued to his mouth.
When Sawamura clenched the back of his shirt and shook his head, he let go with one hand, running his fingers through his hair, hoping to alleviate some of his suffering.
He cleared his throat, finding it hard to speak for some reason. "I'm here. Cry as much as you want," he said softly.
Sawamura nodded, letting go with one hand to touch the front of his shirt.
He paused in the middle of running his fingers through his hair, but instead of resuming, he moved his hand down, holding his hand.
And when Sawamura only gave him a weak squeeze, he gave him a gentle squeeze back.
Letting him know that he wouldn't go anywhere.
ZZZ
It wasn't until Sawamura calmed down that he told him what happened.
Yips.
Sawamura had the yips.
He didn't know what angered him more.
Sawamura, the boy who should always smile and chase after him, having the yips.
Or the knowledge that no one on his team thought to check on him before things got this bad.
He gritted his teeth, remembering how Seidou's main catcher gave him a warning glare after the summer tournament finals.
What was Kazuya doing?
What was he thinking for that matter?
With how protective he was, he would've thought Kazuya would look out for Sawamura.
But not only did he ignore him, he left him for dead.
Sure, Sawamura wasn't the best pitcher.
And maybe he couldn't throw to the inside now.
But that was no reason to give up on him.
He knew better than to actually punch someone, but as he watched Sawamura talk about his team, looking so lost and alone, his hands curled into fists, wanting to march to Seidou and punch that annoying face.
"Are you…"
He blinked, the sound of his voice bringing him back to the present (and away from tempting thoughts of sneaking into Seidou and picking a fight with his boyfriend's teammates). "Eh?"
"Are you going to…" Sawamura frowned at his bedsheets.
"What is it?"
To his confusion, Sawamura didn't say anything else, stubbornly avoiding his gaze, as if he couldn't look at him.
After Sawamura had stopped crying, he had immediately led him into Inashiro grounds and into the dormitory, shooting his teammates a warning glare when they walked past the larger common room on the way to his dorm room.
(His teammates had, of course, looked shocked at the sight of Sawamura. Some of them (like Itsuki and Carlos) immediately got up, taking a few steps toward them. But his icy glare stopped them from coming any closer, shaking his head when it looked like they were about to say something. And although they looked concerned, they had reluctantly sat back down.)
He had led Sawamura to his bed, pulling him down to sit on top of it. And while Sawamura sat facing him, he had refused to look at him.
"Hurry up and tell me," he said impatiently.
Sawamura finally looked up at him, but instead of meeting his gaze (like he always did), he stared at his left ear, as if he found it fascinating to look at.
(Which wasn't that ridiculous. He was quite good-looking.)
"Are you… Are you going to… break up with me?"
… Huh?
He narrowed his eyes, tugging at his hand a little. "What did you just say?"
Sawamura looked down at the bed before squeezing his eyes shut. "Are you going to break up with me?"
"Are you stupid? I'm not going to break up with you. Why would you even think that?"
Sawamura opened his eyes, hesitantly meeting his eyes, which only made him angrier. "But I can't pitch anymore." He took a deep breath, squeezing his hand weakly. "I'm useless."
He let go of his hand, scowling when Sawamura started inching away from him. He reached out and grabbed him by his shoulders, causing him to jump and look at him, surprised.
"You aren't useless," he said, almost growling.
Sawamura sighed, shaking his head. "Before, I could at least somewhat pitch. But now…"
He shook him, annoyed to see his eyes looking away from his. "Look, I don't know what the hell is wrong with your teammates, but I'm not leaving you."
Sawamura winced for some reason, squeezing his eyes shut again. "But you don't even… Why would you… I'm not good enough."
"Shut up!" he couldn't help but roar.
Sawamura jumped, opening his eyes and looking startled. "But I—"
"No, you listen to me, damn it," he said, voice dangerously low. One part of him not focused on what was going on couldn't help but notice as Sawamura shivered. And while he could be shivering from the cool air of the air conditioner, he sensed that that wasn't the real reason, causing him to feel smug. If he wasn't so angry with him, he would tease him. "I choose who I want to date and not date." His hands tightened their grip on his shoulders. "And I'm not breaking up with you just because you can't pitch to the inside."
"But I can't even pitch anymore," Sawamura said miserably, his voice still irritatingly low.
He huffed, letting go of his shoulders to lay his left hand over his heart. "What about this? What about your feelings for me?"
"… Of course I still…" Sawamura bit his lower lip, lifting his hand, as though about to touch his. But a few moments later, he dropped his hand, looking pained.
He poked his shoulder. "I don't think you're getting it, so I'll say it in a way that even you can understand." He pointed at himself cockily. "I didn't agree to date you just because you're a pitcher."
Sawamura looked so bewildered that if he wasn't so angry with him, he would laugh. "What do you…?"
"I told you before, didn't I?" He tilted his chin condescendingly. "I don't consider you my rival. And if you give up, then you're not even worth my time."
"Who… Who said anything about giving up?" Sawamura protested weakly.
He would never admit out loud how relieved he felt at hearing that.
He raised an eyebrow. "Sounds to me like you're giving up." He watched as his hands twitched. "You keep saying that you can't pitch, but you're just giving up. What happened to wanting to become the ace?"
Sawamura's hands curled into fists.
"You won't become the ace if you give up," he said forcefully. His left hand grabbed his shirt, pulling him closer until they were centimeters away from each other, unable to stop himself from feeling pleased as Sawamura let out a small gasp. "You're not the type of person to give up. If you really want to become the ace, practice hard. Hard enough so that all the worries and fears you have disappear. Hard enough to make everyone acknowledge you."
"And… you'll still be there?" Sawamura said, eyes watering. His small voice shook. "You won't leave me?"
He gave him a cheeky grin, leaning in to gently knock his forehead against his own. "You can't get rid of me that easily." And when tears started falling, he reached for his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "I don't know if you've heard, but I always get what I want. And what I want is you."
This time, Sawamura gave him a stronger squeeze back. It wasn't even close to the one he normally gave him, but it was much better than that weak squeeze from earlier. "So selfish. Such a demanding prince." He leaned in the rest of the way to lay his head on his shoulder, his free arm wrapping around him.
He chuckled, immediately wrapping his free arm around him. "You must love that your prince is here, showering you with attention." He winced as Sawamura hit the back of his head. "Oi, be careful! I have a world history test on Tuesday," he whined.
Sawamura pulled away to give him a ghost of a smile. "Isn't world history one of your best subjects?"
"Yeah, but still!"
Sawamura shook his head before leaning back in, relaxing against him (much to his relief).
Besides the low hum of the air conditioner, it was quiet in his dorm room.
At one point, Sawamura let go of his hand to wrap his other arm around him, pressing closer, as if he wanted to leave an imprint.
He shook his head, amused, his now free hand reaching up to run his fingers through his soft hair. "You know," he murmured, not wanting to disturb the comfortable silence. "I heard we're supposed to have good weather tomorrow. Perfect weather for playing baseball, right?"
For several moments, he wasn't sure if Sawamura heard him, wondering if he fell asleep.
But then Sawamura let out a muffled approving sound, nodding as though he wanted to make sure he wanted him to know that he heard.
And it was then that he knew.
Sawamura wouldn't give up.
That strong heart of his wouldn't allow him to.
Sawamura would be alright.
ZZZ
Eijun felt like screaming to the baseball gods.
He finally pitched to the inside again and helped his team win.
And he had been excited to face Inashiro again and show off his low and away pitches.
(All thanks to Chris-senpai, of course. He didn't know what he would do without him.)
But they lost.
Inashiro lost.
And after Kudou-senpai told them the news, he immediately wanted to rush over to the stadium where Inashiro was playing.
(It didn't matter that he would probably get lost on the way there. Or on the way back.)
But he only managed a few steps away from the team before Miyuki-senpai shot him a warning glare, causing him to freeze.
So he reluctantly stayed with his team, hands curling and uncurling into fists over and over. He gritted his teeth, trying not to explode on the bus ride home.
When Nabe-san returned, he couldn't hold it in anymore, still unable to believe Narumiya, his boyfriend, lost. He even exploded, furious that they lost before he could pay them back.
(Thankfully, he managed to keep everything strictly baseball related. He wasn't the smartest, but even he knew that now… probably wasn't a good time to let his team know that he was dating Narumiya.)
Before he could do anything stupid (like ditch the rest of their meeting), Miyuki-senpai scolded him, shooting him another warning glare that no one seemed to question, as if he read his mind.
It was so unfair!
Why did one of the best days of his high school baseball career (and maybe his life) have to coincide with one of Narumiya's worst?
Did they upset the baseball gods somehow?
(He didn't even know how to go about apologizing to them. Maybe a dance?)
All he knew was that he had to see him.
No matter what.
And while he hated the thought of it, he knew only one person who could help him with this.
Will he help him, though?
ZZZ
Kazuya rubbed his temples, wondering not for the first time how things ended up this way.
They won, and although he felt annoyed Mei ruined his team's chances with his selfishness, he set aside his feelings so that they could focus on beating Ugumori.
After the meeting ended and most of the team left, he thought he would inform everyone else, especially his fellow second year teammates, about Nabe's situation.
But he couldn't have expected for Zono to explode at him, even grabbing the front of his hoodie, looking like he might hit him.
It wasn't like he didn't understand where they were coming from, but he thought he brought up a few fair points himself.
It wasn't until everyone left him alone in the cafeteria that he began mulling over everything everyone said.
Especially what Kuramochi said.
He frowned at the table, not even realizing he was no longer alone until someone cleared their throat, causing him to jump and look in the direction the voice came from.
To his surprise, Sawamura stood near the entrance, furrowing his eyebrows.
When did Sawamura come in?
And why didn't he hear him?
"You scared me, Sawamura." He gave him a teasing grin. "I didn't even know you could be thatquiet."
Sawamura huffed, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "No, you just didn't hear me come in." He tilted his head. "Is everything alright?"
Oh?
Was Sawamura actually concerned about him?
Ignoring the warmth in his chest (because he didn't even know why he felt that), he gave him another grin. "Aww, you're worried about me, Sawamura? I'm touched!"
"Shut up!" Sawamura pointed at him. "You were just sitting there with this weird look on your face, so I thought something happened. That's all!"
It almost amazed him how Sawamura could be so perceptive yet so oblivious at the same time.
"It's called concentrating, Sawamura," he said, smirking at seeing his eye twitch. "You should concentrate on school from time to time. Maybe you'll learn something."
Sawamura let out another huff. "You should worry more about the team than my grades. You're the captain."
It was if Sawamura could read his mind tonight.
He knows you so well, his traitorous mind whispered. Maybe your connection on the field extends to off the field, too.
Instead of musing on what that could possibly mean, he cleared his throat, gesturing to the rest of the room. "So what brings you here? Shouldn't you be getting ready for bed?" His eyes narrowed, a thought coming to him. "And no, I'm not catching for you."
But instead of grumbling or even protesting that that wasn't the reason, Sawamura looked away from him, biting his lower lip. He nodded to himself before looking at him, causing him to blink at the determined look on his face. "I need your help."
Those were words he thought he would never say.
Normally, he would tease him. But something felt… off.
Like a sense of foreboding.
He wasn't the best senpai, and he wasn't a good person most of the time.
But he suddenly felt the urge to… help Sawamura with whatever he needed help with.
He didn't even know why he felt that.
He supposed it could be out of guilt.
For not helping him with the yips.
As much as it frustrated him, all the credit went to Chris-senpai for that.
… Okay, maybe a little went to… Mei.
When Sawamura left to meet with him, he couldn't help but feel worried. Worried that Mei would make things worse somehow.
But when Sawamura came back, the light in his eyes — the same light he feared might never come back — came back.
Of course, the light was still dim.
And it wasn't until Chris-senpai helped out that the light fully returned to his eyes, but…
It was there.
While suffering from the yips, Sawamura had always looked exhausted.
Everyone could see the dark circles under his eyes.
The way he moved almost sluggishly whenever he wasn't practicing.
The way his hands kept curling into fists.
And his dead and unseeing eyes.
Whenever he practiced, he was deathly quiet, moving almost on autopilot as he obediently ran laps and didn't even look at a baseball until Kantoku told him he could join practice again.
When he got back from meeting with Mei, he had still looked exhausted.
And as if he cried a lot.
But ever since he had gotten the yips, Sawamura cried a lot. Probably more times than he wanted to, especially when he was with the team.
So while he had the initial thought that those tears were Mei's fault, he had pushed the thought away, especially after seeing the dim light in his eyes.
He almost couldn't believe it.
Mei had obviously done something right since it was because of him that the light came back to his eyes.
Maybe Mei actually cared about Sawamura?
(For some reason, the thought of that made him angry. But he quickly ignored it, thinking he felt frustrated Mei (of all people) was able to help him, and he couldn't.)
"With what?" he finally said a few moments later.
But that sense of foreboding from earlier came back as Sawamura rubbed the back of his head. It was as if the team threw a cooler of ice water onto him. "This late at night, the buses and trains aren't running anymore. Which means I have to go by foot."
A part of him wanted Sawamura to spit it out. But a larger part of him wanted to pretend he wasn't saying what he thought Sawamura was saying.
It's not what I think… right?
"And where do you plan on going?" he asked, somehow managing to sound intrigued. For some reason, he found it hard to speak.
What was he doing?
Why was he even listening to Sawamura right now?
He should be scolding him, reminding him that they have a game tomorrow.
Sawamura might have to pitch again. He needed his rest.
And yet…
Sawamura looked away, frowning at the television, as if something about it bothered him. He nodded to himself once more before looking back at him, hands curling into fists by his sides.
And that was when Kazuya knew.
He knew what was coming. What was going on.
"You'll probably think it's stupid, but I'm going to Inashiro." He raised his left fist up to his heart, grabbing onto his exercise jacket. "To see Narumiya."
And even though he knew it was coming, he still found himself immediately getting up and glaring at him. "Do you even realize what you're saying?"
Sawamura narrowed his eyes, fists clenching even tighter. "Of course I do!" he said hotly. "I have to see him!"
"No, you don't. I know you're an idiot, but do you even realize what the situation is?" He raised his eyebrows mockingly. And before Sawamura could answer, he gestured to the rest of the room. "We have a game tomorrow. Have you already forgotten what I said during the meeting?"
"That has nothing to do with this! I can't just forget about him!"
He huffed, shaking his head. "Somehow, I knew you were going to say that. Why can't you just listen to me?" And when Sawamura only continued glaring at him, he sighed, deciding to try something else. "He won't like it, you know. He won't like that you're there, and he'll hurt you."
Why?
Why did Sawamura like Mei so much?
Why couldn't he listen to him?
He was trying to look out for him!
(Would he listen if he were Chris-senpai?)
Sawamura let out a huff of his own, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "I don't care. I want to be there for him." He opened his mouth, about to say something else. But then he shook his head, closing his mouth. "Not that I expect you to understand."
He narrowed his eyes. "And what do you mean by that?"
Sawamura took a step closer, glaring. "Exactly what I mean. I know you hate that we're still together."
… Hate was a strong word. He wouldn't say that he hated it.
Maybe disliked.
But it had nothing do with Sawamura being in a relationship. His problem with the relationship was that he liked Mei.
"I don't care that you're still together." Sawamura gave him a skeptical look at that. "I don't. You'll be happy to know that I realized you're serious about baseball. And about him."
Sawamura rolled his eyes. "If you realize that, why are you trying to stop me?"
… Was this idiot not listening to him?
"I'm trying to look out for you," he hissed. "Do you even realize what time it is? You honestly expect me to help you when you'll probably just get lost?"
Sawamura stomped his foot. "That's why I'm asking for your help!"
"What about our game tomorrow? You need your rest."
Sawamura suddenly sighed, looking so tired that it caused him to blink. But before he could ask, Sawamura turned around, walking away.
"Wait, Sawamura! We're not done!"
Sawamura paused by the exit. "We are done. You're not going to help me even if I begged you to." He didn't turn around, speaking with his back facing him.
"Can you blame me?" When it looked like Sawamura was about to leave, he couldn't help but say one last thing, hoping to change his mind. "Don't expect me to pick up the phone if you get lost."
But Sawamura was stubborn. And stupid.
(And very brave.)
Sawamura left the room, not looking behind him even once.
After everything that just happened, that angered him even more. "Wait, Sawamura!" he called out as the door was closing, walking toward it.
Only to let out a loud curse as he tripped over a chair leg, falling to his knees.
How pathetic.
If only Sawamura could see him now.
Maybe he would change his mind, somehow hearing him fall and run back to check on him.
… Well, Sawamura would probably laugh at him before asking if he was alright. But at least Sawamura would still be here.
Acknowledging him.
(What was he thinking?)
But of course Sawamura didn't come back.
Leaving him on the floor with a bruised leg and a bruised ego.
ZZZ
Eijun wasn't afraid to admit that he didn't know where he was going.
He had always taken the bus to Inashiro.
He didn't know how to get there on foot, especially since he never paid attention to which streets the bus took.
This was probably one of his stupidest ideas ever.
But he didn't care.
He had to be there for Narumiya.
Just like how he was there for him in his darkest moment.
He recognized a few streets from his dates with Narumiya, but that didn't help him. For all he knew, he could be walking in the opposite direction of Inashiro.
He finally asked some people for help, and while the first couple of people weren't much help (because what was he supposed to do with a bunch of street names), the last few people seemed to understand his problem, pointing out helpful landmarks for him.
One kind person even wrote down said landmarks and what to do when he reached each one, causing him to cry gratefully.
He did get quite a few looks for wandering Tokyo late at night, and he knew a lot of them wondered if he was part of a gang.
But since they weren't getting in the way, he ignored them, looking around and then back at the paper to make sure he was going the right way.
It took much longer than he wanted it to, but he finally arrived at Inashiro, belatedly remembering to call Itsuki so that he could let him in.
Itsuki hadn't sounded very happy over the phone or when he came to pick him up.
But he didn't care, stubbornly telling him that he wouldn't leave until he got to see Narumiya.
Itsuki had sighed, giving him a guilty look that he didn't understand before leading the way inside.
When he passed the larger common room on his way to Narumiya's room, the rest of the Inashiro first string had looked up, eyes widening.
Some of them gaped at him while others gave the player beside them a frightened look for some reason. Kamiya-san and Shirakawa-san even stood up, as if they were about to walk over and stop him, but he quickly shook his head, giving them a determined glare. He didn't know if they understood, but to their credit, they didn't move, only watching him until he left the room.
He took a deep breath before knocking on Narumiya's yellow dorm room door.
(When he still had the yips and he met with Narumiya, he remembered feeling exhausted, hanging on desperately to his hand as he led him to his room. But even though he had felt exhausted, he still took the time to remember how to get to his room. It wasn't as if he could mistake Narumiya's room for another person's anyway, the wooden doorknob hanger with the words 'Ace's Room' immediately letting everyone know whose room it was.)
When no answer came, he tried knocking louder, the sound reverberating throughout the empty hallway.
He waited for a few moments before knocking again.
Maybe Narumiya was asleep?
But even if he were asleep, he would hear him, right?
(Was Narumiya even a light sleeper?)
He nodded to himself before trying to open the door.
To his surprise, the door opened easily, causing him to squint into the dark room. The only light came from the window beside the bed, slivers of moonlight making its way past the drawn curtains.
He frowned, spotting a familiar figure on the floor with his knees pulled up to his chest.
Narumiya didn't move as he stepped inside and closed the door behind him. He blinked a few times, trying to adjust his eyes to the darkness. His boyfriend sat in one of the darkest parts of the room, as if he were some type of creature who hated light. It was only when he sat beside him that he showed any sign of movement, tightening his grip around his knees.
He reached out slowly, grazing his fingers on his arm before holding onto the hand closest to him. He gave his hand a gentle squeeze, unsurprised when he received a weak one back. "It's just me."
Narumiya huffed, keeping his eyes on his knees. "Of course it's just you," he muttered. "You're the only one who would dare come into my room when I'm like this."
… Was that a compliment?
He shook his head, frowning at himself.
That wasn't important right now.
"What happened today?"
Narumiya's hands twitched, as if he wanted to curl them into fists. "You already know what happened," he said, irritated. "You're here, aren't you?"
Eijun wanted to wrap his arms around him, but he wasn't sure if Narumiya would let him. It was already a big deal that Narumiya was allowing him to see him in this vulnerable state.
Touching him any more might cause him to draw away from him.
And that was the last thing he wanted.
"You know that's not what I meant," he said softly.
Narumiya's grip on his hand tightened, but he didn't say anything.
It was weird (but also heartbreaking) to see him like this.
His boyfriend was always so strong and prideful. He always acted like nothing anyone said about him bothered him.
This guy knew he was a selfish jerk and a bit of a brat, but he never changed himself for others, cockily saying that the world, especially the Japanese high school baseball scene, wouldn't be the same without him.
And while he didn't know about the world, he knew he wouldn't be the same without him.
They hadn't been together that long, but he always looked forward to seeing him. Spending time with him.
Even if he didn't return his feelings.
His heart kept clenching the longer he stared at him.
Wanting to help ease the pain, but not sure if Narumiya would let him.
(If he was honest, a large part of him wanted to scold him for losing. It wasn't just because it meant that they couldn't play each other again. But for letting his selfishness take over and making him not listen to his battery partner.
But seeing him like this… He couldn't bring himself to do it. Narumiya was clearly already suffering. He knew what he did and why it was wrong. And that was enough.)
He nudged his shoulder. "I'll wait for you. No matter how long it takes."
Narumiya let out a confused noise.
He flushed, realizing how that could be taken. "I-I mean, I'll wait for you if you want to talk. I'm not going anywhere."
Narumiya huffed again. "What's there to talk about? I let the team down."
"I know how that feels," he said automatically.
When Narumiya's head shot up to glare at him, he belatedly realized what he said, wanting to hit himself. "I… I didn't mean… I know it's not the same thing," he said quickly.
"So I just misheard you saying that you know what it feels like to be the ace?" Narumiya said icily.
He almost winced as Narumiya's grip on his hand tightened, almost hurting him. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean—"
"You don't!"
He winced at the volume of his voice. And the pressure on his hand.
"You have no idea what it's like to be the ace!" Narumiya snarled, causing him to gape.
He had seen Narumiya angry before. And Narumiya had gotten angry with him before.
But he had never snarled at him.
"You're just a relief pitcher! What do you know about being the ace?"
He reached out with his other hand to try and loosen the pressure on his hand, but Narumiya's grip was as hard as a metal baseball bat. He couldn't help but glance behind him, wondering if Narumiya's teammates would come and see what their ace was yelling about. "I don't. I—"
"That's right! You don't! So don't try to compare your mistake to mine!"
He tried tugging his hand away from the grip, but even that didn't work. "I was just—"
Narumiya pulled him closer roughly, causing him to gasp as their shoulders touched.
Or maybe it was the way his eyes resembled ice.
Cold and sharp enough to cut into him.
"You're not even a real pitcher," he spat, causing his eyes to widen. "Who pitches only fastballs? And yours don't even go straight. They move all over the place."
Eijun couldn't move, frozen where he sat. "I have… I've been learning to control it," he protested weakly.
Narumiya snorted derisively. "You can't even throw to the inside. Instead of wasting your time acting like you care, why don't you go practice some more?"
Eijun narrowed his eyes, pinching his side with his free hand and causing him to yelp. "I do care about you! And of course I care about my pitching! Today, I even—"
"Don't talk to me about what happened today!" Narumiya roared, causing him to unconsciously flinch. "I already know everything! Seidou won while we lost!"
Eijun felt his eye twitch, tempted to pinch him again. "Stop interrupting me and listen to me! I've been working hard—"
"Not hard enough," Narumiya spat.
He reached out to pinch him again, but Narumiya grabbed his other hand, tightening his grip hard enough to make him cry out. "Watch it! That's my pitching hand!"
"It's not like you've been using it that much," Narumiya sneered, causing him to growl at him.
He tried tugging his hands away, but he only felt pain for his effort, Narumiya tightening his grip probably hard enough to bruise and making him cry out once more. "Look, you jerk! I'm trying to help you! I'm not leaving! You can't make me!"
"Why? Why do you care so much?" Narumiya yelled.
He glared at him, squeezing his hands as hard as he could. "Because I like you, you idiot!" he roared.
(Some part of him couldn't help but wonder why none of Narumiya's teammates had shown up yet. Surely they were loud enough to wake up the whole dorm.
Maybe even Narumiya's boss?
… That was a scary thought.
Not that he could control himself even if Narumiya's boss barged in. He could easily imagine yelling at him before proceeding to ignore him as he focused on Narumiya.)
Narumiya didn't even look like he was in pain, as if he was used to this amount of pressure on his hands.
And for some reason, that only made him angrier.
But before he could yell at him some more, Narumiya easily closed the gap between them, kissing him on the lips.
He froze, eyes wide. His hands relaxed his grip as he stared at him.
Narumiya, his boyfriend, was kissing him.
It was painful.
So painful.
Not only did Narumiya keep his painful grip on his hands, as if he used a vise to hold them in place, his lips were as rough and unforgiving as his pitching, as if Narumiya wanted to bruise his lips, too.
He could faintly hear the low hum of the air conditioner, but most (if not all) of his attention was on his boyfriend.
Narumiya's eyes were closed, some part of him wishing he could see those bright blue eyes that resembled the ocean when he opened them once more. He hadn't noticed it before, but a blue blanket covered his shoulders and part of his head, billowing out behind him like a supervillain cape. And his hair, the same hair he claimed took forever to get ready for their dates, looked untidy and stood up all over the place, as if he had run his hands through it over and over.
Like the way his hands kept clenching and unclenching when he suffered from the yips.
Narumiya pulled away a few moments later, eyebrows furrowing, as if confused as to why he didn't respond. His eyes opened, dark blue eyes meeting his own, causing him to gulp.
"There. That's what you wanted, isn't it? Go."
He spoke in a dangerously low and quiet voice, having the audacity to sound disappointed of all things. Eijun wished he could say he shivered because of the cool air of the air conditioner and not because of his voice.
Narumiya finally let go of his hands, looking at them for a few moments before looking at him again.
"Well? What are you still doing here? Leave me alone."
He… He talked as if the kiss didn't matter to him.
Like he did it just to mess with him.
Despite knowing how he felt about him.
But for whatever reason, he found his mouth opening of its own accord. "I can't just… leave you."
Narumiya shook his head, scoffing. "I should've known even something like that wouldn't scare you away. You probably even liked it." He gave him a challenging look, causing him to narrow his eyes. "You would like it, wouldn't you? Especially since that was probably one of the only good things that's happened to—"
He didn't let him finish, reaching out and shoving him away.
He stood up, unconsciously cradling his left hand with his right hand. He held them close to his body, glowering when Narumiya gaped, reaching out, as if about to touch him.
"That's enough. I'm not going to sit here and let you hurt me any longer," he said, voice dangerously low, causing his boyfriend to jump. He didn't know whether it was because of his voice or the hot tears he could feel running down his face.
(He wouldn't deny that a part of him felt smug at that reaction.)
And before Narumiya could say or do anything else, he crossed the room in a couple of strides, opening the door. He paused before walking out of the room, looking over his shoulder at him.
Narumiya was in the same position he left him in, gaping even as he raised a shaking hand, as if trying to stop him or somehow touch him from where he was. "W-Wait. I didn't—"
Part of him couldn't help but feel surprised that Narumiya, of all people, was stuttering. But unfortunately for him, it wasn't enough to stop him from leaving.
"Don't say anything else!" he hissed, causing his mouth to automatically shut. "You know that I don't… That I didn't want…" He let out a frustrated huff. "Anyway! I want an apology!" He tightened his grip around the doorknob. "If you still care about our relationship, I want an apology! And it better be a good one!"
"Sawamura, I—"
He strode out of the room, slamming the door shut, the force of the impact making the wooden doorknob hanger swing back and forth, creating a thudding noise.
He pretended not to hear the muffled frustrated and angry sounding yell behind him, already walking away from his room, hating the way his hands curled into fists as the yell continued.
A little while later, he jumped at a touch to his shoulder, shooting the person a glare.
To his surprise, he saw Itsuki beside him, holding his hands up, as if showing him he didn't mean any harm.
He couldn't help but blink a few times as he noticed the larger common room. He didn't even notice that he was walking right past it (and the rest of the Inashiro first string).
He missed the way most of them flinched, shooting furious glares in the direction of their ace's dorm room. He missed the way their hands curled into fists by their sides, some of them crossing their arms in front of their chests.
What he did catch was Kamiya-san and Shirakawa-san scowling, Shirakawa-san looking in the direction of Narumiya's dorm room and muttering under his breath. Some of the players around him slowly inched away from him, looking frightened.
"Eijun… Are you… alright?"
His eyes softened at Itsuki's hesitant but concerned tone. "Sorry, Itsuki. I didn't mean to glare at you."
Itsuki shook his head, giving him a small, soft smile.
He laughed hollowly, wondering what he must look like to Itsuki and the rest of the Inashiro first string. But strangely enough, he didn't care what they thought of him.
He gave them a tremulous smile. "I should get going. It's really late." He gestured in the direction of Narumiya's room. "I wouldn't worry about Narumiya. He's going to be alright." He gave them a determined glare that probably didn't look as convincing as it should've been. "I won't allow him to stop here. I will catch up to him."
He bowed his head politely. "Good night. I'm sorry for intruding this late."
And after one last look in the direction of Narumiya's room, he walked away, tempted to curl his hands into fists.
"Eijun!"
Eijun paused, turning his head to look at Itsuki questioningly.
"I… I'll text you." Itsuki gestured in the direction of Narumiya's room. "About Mei-san. So that you don't have to worry."
He gave him a small, grateful smile. "Thank you, Itsuki. Feel free to text me about anything else, too. Like practice or that series you've been wanting to get into."
"Yeah, I will!" Itsuki beamed at him. He took a few steps in his direction, frowning. "Should I show you out?"
Eijun chuckled, holding up a hand to stop him in his tracks. "I'll be alright. I think I've come here enough times to know where I'm going."
He didn't remember how he got back to Seidou, vaguely remembering that the way back was easier for some reason.
(Which was weird, considering he hadn't been looking where he was going.)
And while he should've expected it, he still felt surprised at seeing Miyuki-senpai waiting by the entrance to the dorms, frowning.
Miyuki-senpai's frown immediately transformed into a scowl the moment he laid his eyes on him.
Was he still angry with him?
Remembering what happened at Inashiro caused tears to form in his eyes (even though he had already stopped crying a while ago).
"Are you happy? You were right," he said bitterly, walking around him.
But a hand grabbed his left wrist, causing him to wince as it touched the bruise.
To his relief, the hand immediately let go.
But before he could continue walking, hands turned him around, Miyuki-senpai looking down at his hands and scowling.
"Did he do this?" Miyuki-senpai spoke in a low voice, reaching out and holding onto his hands carefully.
He watched as Miyuki-senpai turned his hands gently, inspecting the bruises. "I walked into a wall."
He had seen the way Narumiya looked at him. Looked at his hands.
Narumiya hadn't meant to bruise him. He didn't mean to go that far.
And even he knew that he went too far.
So he didn't mind defending him, knowing that Narumiya was a good person.
He still wanted an apology, though.
He wouldn't forgive him without one.
Not this time.
Miyuki-senpai's head shot up, glaring at him. "Why are you defending him? That guy is…"
To his confusion, Miyuki-senpai never finished what he was saying, only huffing.
"My hands are alright," he said, pulling away from him.
"'Alright'? Are you blind?"
He turned around, not in the mood to argue with him. "They're alright. I can still pitch. So don't tell anyone."
"Why are you still looking out for him when he hurt you? You're an even bigger idiot than I thought."
Instead of replying (and probably getting into another argument), he walked away, shaking his head.
His ears picked up footsteps behind him. But this time, it sounded as if they were walking away from him.
Good.
Miyuki-senpai seemed to realize he didn't want to argue. Or he realized what time it was.
His heart clenched at the thought of Narumiya. Suffering by himself.
Hopefully, an apology will come soon.
That way, they could work on everything together moving forward.
He refused to entertain the possibility of never receiving an apology.
An apology will come.
ZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Author Notes: I hope y'all enjoyed the fifth chapter.
Reviews/favorites/follows are appreciated.
Another short chapter. Not sure what it is with me and short chapters lately. But I couldn't think of anything else to add. I really wanted to write some more about the time Eijun had the yips, especially since I knew so many people were looking forward to seeing how I would write it. Hope this didn't leave y'all feeling disappointed.
So this was a pretty angsty chapter. Is it bad that I was crying while writing this chapter?
No need to worry, though. Eijun and Mei will (eventually) kiss and make up.
By the way, this is kind of random, but Eijun having trouble with street names is actually something I have trouble with. I can't remember street names for the life of me, but if you tell me names of stores or familiar landmarks, I can easily remember those. I just thought that kind of thing suited Eijun, too.
Y'all are going to have to wait a couple of weeks for Eijun and Mei to kiss and make up. Because in the next chapter, we're going to see more of Mei's thoughts. Those wondering about Mei's feelings for Eijun will finally get their answers next chapter. We also get some more of Miyuki's point of view and his reaction to their fight. We'll also get a Miyuki and Mei confrontation.
See y'all next Saturday!