Happy Moonlit Monday! It's time for the long awaited chapter!

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Azlady2003

myfanfictionaddiction

ForeverSwiss

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Songs to set the mood to:

Interlude III by Tessa Violet— from the beginning of the chapter until Carlisle says Edward's name

911 by Elise — when Bella hears Edward's name until end of chapter

As always, I don't own anything you recognize.

BPOV

Too soon, the sun came up and with it, Renesmee. She looked like she could use a few more hours of sleep but brushed off my worry when I brought it up. The two of us changed clothes and I helped her pull her hair back into a long braid down her back. In the reflection of the vanity mirror, I saw Renesmee chew on her lip for a while. She looked like she wanted to say something but couldn't find the words. I said, "Penny for your thoughts?"

She picked at her fingers and finally said, "I'm not sure why I'm so nervous. I mean, they're just other vampires. But...I am nervous. I really want them to like me and I don't know why. Do you think they will?"

I tried not to let the emotions show on my face because I knew she was watching me intently. Inside though, I was a ball of nerves. Some part of her knew these people were important, knew she needed them to like her. If it came time for her to start questioning things, how much of it would she be able to just guess from instinct alone? Worry about that on a different day. Get through this meeting first. "Of course they'll like you," I comforted her, tying the braid off at the end. I leaned forward and rested my head on her shoulder as we looked at each other through the vanity mirror. "You're adorable, what's not to like?" She smiled a little at my tease. "Do you want to get Jacob up?" I asked.

She shook her head. "He should rest. Yesterday was a long day for him. Plus, I don't want him to freak out again if there's more people," she said.

I nodded and took her hand. I wanted Jake to be there, he could be a voice of reason in my chaotic mind, but Nessie was right. He needed the sleep. Together, Nessie and I went downstairs to meet the other family members that left me five long years ago.

Everyone was in the living room waiting for us. I swear I felt my dead heart flutter as I took all of them in- Carlisle and his patient smile, Esme and her endless compassionate eyes, Emmett and his strong arms but baby face, and Rosalie with her eternal beauty. How many times did I find myself imaging how our reunion would be? Now they were all here and it was happening, but it still felt like a hollow victory. I loved them all dearly even if I knew they didn't return the sentiment, but there was one missing that would've made all the difference to me.

The Cullens couldn't seem to decide who was more interesting to stare at as we came down the stairs, eyes darting back and forth between the two of us. Emmett muttered so low I almost missed it, "Well shit."

Renesmee's heart sped up slightly from everyone looking at her and I squeezed her hand. We reached the bottom of the stairs and I said, "Hello everyone." I wanted to cringe at the sound of my voice. Did it have to sound so musical?

Esme looked like she was about to cry. Carlisle was the first one to speak, more composed than the others. "Bella, it's good to see you again. You seem to be adapting well to this lifestyle," he said gently, obviously trying not to stare at Nessie.

"Thank you. It was a surprisingly easy transition." I felt Nessie fidget next to me nervously and decided it was time to get it over with. "This is my daughter, Renesmee." She did a little awkward wave to everyone.

Carlisle smiled kindly at her and introduced everyone. "It's nice to meet you, Renesmee. My name is Carlisle and this is my family- Esme, Rosalie, and Emmett. I believe you already met Alice and Jasper."

Nessie looked at me for approval to talk to them. I nodded and she took a breath to steady herself. "Nice to meet you all," she smiled.

I swear I could see them all become entranced with her right there. Her smile thawed everyone's nerves and I saw them visibly relax again. I wasn't lying when I told her they would like her. Everyone loved Renesmee. That was one of her many gifts. Carlisle kept speaking for everyone. "Alice said you've been staying here?" He directed the question at me.

"Yes, I'm sorry. Charlie was going through a rough time and needed me here, but I didn't want to risk living with him," I explained. "It seemed like the safest place for us to be. But if you need us to leave, I understand. It's your house."

"Please don't leave, Bella," Esme pleaded suddenly. I didn't want to leave, especially after seeing them all. But I still wasn't sure of their motives for coming back yet. I wasn't sure if this was a temporary thing and if they would leave again once the voice of reason called. I didn't want to put myself or Nessie through that again. I barely survived once.

Alice said, "I don't think it's necessary for you to leave and it is still safer here for both of you then bunking with Charlie."

Carlisle nodded in agreement. "There is still one vacant room if you two would like to take it."

I froze. One vacant room. The room that would never again be filled. The one room I couldn't go in. His room. I would rather take my chances crossing the treaty line and staying with Billy. A wave of calm came over me before I could begin to freak out. I looked over to see Jasper looking at me intently from across the room. Alice also came to my defense. "Uh, Carlisle? I don't think the three of them can fit in that room."

"Three?"

"Yeah, three of us," Jacob said from the top of the stairs. His hair was still mussed up from sleeping, wearing his old gray sweatpants and a ratty T-shirt but his eyes were wide awake, glaring at the Cullens. He came bounding downstairs and stood next to Renesmee, crossing his arms in front of his chest. His stance was disapproving and also trying to look imposing. "Wherever they go, I go."

Most of the Cullens wrinkled their noses at the werewolf stench emanating from him. Rosalie muttered, "Who let the dogs in?"

Carlisle remained unfazed. He said, "My apologies, I didn't realize there was anyone else here."

"This is Jacob. Jacob Black," I said quickly before Jake could try and get in a quip. "He's an old friend that's been helping us out. Pack relations and all that."

Carlisle stated, "You are Ephraim Black's descendant."

Jacob nodded and went all Pack Mask again. "Sam told me to pass on the word that the treaty is still valid for all of you. We know you weren't the ones who changed Bella, so nothing's been broken. He would like to know next time before you all decide to come back. We would hate for one of our newbies to catch wind of you and for someone to get hurt." He grinned widely at the idea. Nessie and I shot him a glare but he ignored us.

Carlisle, to my surprise, smiled back. "Of course not. We appreciate Sam's understanding in all of this greatly. I will be sure to warn him before making any trips in or out of the area."

"I'm not sure we have enough rooms for two people, let alone three," Esme said to Carlisle, worriedly.

Alice suggested, "Esme, what about that house design you were working on last time we were here? It would keep them close but in their own space."

Esme's expression brightened significantly. "Oh yes! It would be perfect. I'll need to make a few adjustments to add a couple of rooms, but we can start construction within the week. Until then, please feel free to use mine and Carlisle's room to sleep Renesmee. Jacob, maybe you could use the empty room on that floor?"

Jacob snorted in response. "I'd rather sleep on the porch, thanks." I rolled my eyes at him.

A house. They were talking about just making us a house. For so long I had been trying to save every nickel and dime to get us our own place and here they were just offering to make a custom house for us like it was as easy as ordering pizza. I stuttered, "I-it's really not necessary. That's too much. We wouldn't be able to repay you."

Esme waved away the thought. "You don't need to repay us for anything, Bella. It's a gift." Her eyes seemed to gleam with the idea there were going to be much more where this came from. "It was already going to be yours." When we thought you were joining the family. The statement, though unspoken, seemed to hang in the air like a knife on a string. "I will need to add to more bedrooms for Jacob and Renesmee, of course."

"A kitchen too," Alice chimed in, winking at me. "I don't think Jacob would want to come back to the main house every time he wants a treat." The younger Cullens snickered.

Rosalie said, "We can leave a bowl out labeled 'Fido'."

Jake growled in warning to her teasing, causing Jasper and Emmett to inch closer to their women protectively. Nessie said quietly to defuse the tension, "I could use it too."

"You eat food?"Carlisle asked, half concerned parental figure and half curious doctor. Everyone turned their attention to her, eager to hear her speak again.

Renesmee blushed at the attention turning to her. "I do sometimes. Mom says it has vitamins and things that my human side needs," she explained. "I prefer blood, though."

"Fascinating," Carlisle said, thinking of the possibilities. "Esme, dear, why don't you show Renesmee and Jacob your design so you can make sure it can accommodate their specific needs."

Esme and Carlisle looked at me for permission. I could tell Nessie wanted to go through our connected hands. I didn't want her and Jake to go. Carlisle was clearly using this as a way to talk to me separately and I didn't feel like I had the strength to do it myself. But I had to and I definitely couldn't say anything around Nessie. I squeezed her hand one more time and then let Esme lead her away with Jacob in tow. I watched them go upstairs to Carlisle's office, feeling suddenly cold and lonely. I heard Emmett say once the door upstairs closed, "Well, there's no denying that one. She's a spitting image."

My head whipped around and I glared at him. "You guys thought I was lying?" My lips curled over my teeth in warning.

Emmett still remained relaxed and was not fazed at all by my threatening look. "Can you blame us, Bella? For all we knew, you were making something up just to make us feel bad for leaving."

"I wouldn't lie about something like this," I said, less hostile this time. "The fact that you think I might makes me think you had a really low opinion of me to begin with."

"You know that's not true," Alice came to my side in an instant. "We all love you. We already accepted you as one of the family and that hasn't changed." She tried to take my hand but I pulled it free in an instant and turned from her. Didn't they know they didn't need to lie anymore?

Carlisle offered, "None of us have heard of such a thing being possible, so it made us a little skeptical. But Alice was right, once you see her, there's no denying it. She is a perfect mixture of both of you." I knew they had a point. I didn't know it was possible either until I was living through it. He probably didn't know either, otherwise he never would've put us in that situation. Carlisle asked, "She looks to be a teenager now, but we've only been gone a few years. How is that?"

I sat in one of the armchairs closer to the group. Alice sat on the arm of the chair with me, putting a hand on my shoulder. I didn't acknowledge it, but I didn't move it this time. I had to admit the touch was nice after going so long without anyone touching me other than Renesmee. Plus, Alice seemed determined to stay close to me. This was a conversation I could do. Explaining the miracle that was my daughter was the easiest part of our story. "She was aging fast when she was first born. It scared me a lot at first. I thought she wasn't going to live past two. But the friends that helped me through our first year together assured me once she reaches seven years old, she would stop aging and be like us. Frozen in time."

"And your friends are experts in the matter?"

"Nahuel is also a hybrid. He has half sisters that are as well. Same father, different mother," I explained. "Nahuel thinks his father was trying to create his own army of hybrid children and start some new world order thing. He was killed before he got even remotely close. His aunt raised him after his mother died in labor."

Carlisle nodded absently. Then he asked one of the questions I was hoping Alice would have covered with them before hand. "We were told not to mention exactly our relationship to Renesmee in front of her. I assume this means she doesn't know who her father is." I shook my head and he looked sad. "And he doesn't know of her either. How unfortunate for them both."

"We should call him, tell him," Jasper suggested. "He'd have to come back then."

I looked down at my lap. I had thought about calling him one day to tell him about Renesmee. I did call once, just hoping to even get a voicemail and hear his voice. But the voice on the other line had announced the number had been disconnected and went dead. He had gone as far as to disconnect his old number just to be rid of me. Clean break, a voice reminded me. I shoved that memory down. I didn't want to be swallowed by the haunting memory around them, especially when Renesmee could walk in at any minute. I wanted to yell at them. They were his family. They of all people should know he didn't want to be here anymore. He didn't want me. He didn't love me. He would only come back for a sense of duty and I couldn't handle that. My entire life had changed the day I found out I was pregnant. Every plan I had for my life was gone and the only thing that mattered was the little being growing inside of me at a rapid rate. In a way, my life had been improved. But it would ruin everything for him. He wouldn't be free anymore. He would be chained to me and Nessie for all eternity. No...I wasn't going to ruin his existence just to make him be a present dad.

I was about to open my mouth to say just that, when Rosalie cut in. Suddenly, she was on my side for the first time since I had been in the Cullens' lives. "No, he needs to stay wherever he is."

"He deserves to know he's a dad," Jasper pushed, narrowing his eyes at her.

"Then he should have stayed after he decided to sleep with her," Rose snapped at him. "We followed him blindly away from Forks because we thought he knew this was the right thing to do. We trusted him."

Carlisle said, "None of us knew what would happen."

Rosalie rounded on Alice, trying to pierce her with her golden gaze. "What about you? Did you see this? Did you try and tell him?"

"I haven't been able to see Bella for a while and I can't see Renesmee at all. I don't know why but there's a complete blind spot wherever Renesmee is," Alice said, frustrated. "I would've never let him even think of leaving had I known this was a possibility."

Emmett took Rosalie's hand and turned to face her. The usual joking expression in his face was gone and he was nothing but serious when he told her, "Rose, he was doing what he thought was right with the information he had. Now, we should give him the rest of the information so he can make a better decision."

"Plus, I'm sure Esme would love to have the family complete again," Jasper chimed in. "It hasn't been the same since we first left Forks."

"He left, Em," Rosalie said, a little softer than how she talked to Alice. "He forfeited any choice on the matter. Bella is the one who should decide whether we call him or not, not us."

Six pairs of golden eyes fixed on me, waiting on an answer. I bit my lip. "I...I don't want to tell him," I agreed with Rosalie. "And Nessie doesn't need to know him either. He doesn't want me and I don't want her to know him just to be crushed later." I could tell all of them didn't like my answer, but they didn't argue with my decision. I locked eyes with Rosalie and she nodded once at me, a little sheepish smile playing on her lips. I knew she never really liked me, but I guess something about the situation had hit a nerve. For whatever reason it was, I was glad to have an ally.

Laughter from the stairs cut off anymore potential conversation on the matter. Nessie and Esme were coming down, chatting like old friends with Jacob following behind like a disgruntle shadow. Nessie was positively beaming when she came over to me, perching herself on the chair arm not occupied by Alice. Jake hung back, keeping to himself at the foot of the stairs. Nessie said, "The house looks amazing, Mom. You're going to love it!" She put her hand on my cheek and showed me the blueprints she had been pursuing with Esme moments before.

I smiled, Nessie's excitement being contagious. "It looks amazing, sweetie." I leaned forward so I could address Esme. "Please, if I can help with any of the expense-"

"No no no. Like I said, it's a gift. It's the least we can do," she put an arm around Carlisle's waist and he pulled her in close. "Would you like me to show you the plans for final approval?"

"Nessie showed me. I love it." I grinned at her.

Esme was confused. "She showed you?"

Shit. I hadn't told any of them about Renesmee's gift. It was something we very much tried to keep under wraps, but we had gotten so used to it, I didn't notice when she would use it. Nessie shot me an apologetic look and explained to them all, "I can show people memories and my thoughts and stuff like that."

"You show people you thoughts? How?" Alice asked, trying to figure out when Nessie had shown me the design.

Nessie looked at me and I gestured for her to go ahead and show them. Her gift was always best to experience than to try and explain. She leaned over me and put her hand to Alice's cheek. We all watched as Alice's eyes glazed over and she watched whatever Renesmee decided to show her. When she was done, Renesmee pulled away and Alice looked around like she was remembering where she was. "Whoa," Alice said, almost breathless.

"I wanna see!" Emmett exclaimed, rushing forward to meet Renesmee.

One by one, Renesmee showed them all her power. It must have been a good memory because they were all grinning from ear to ear as they watched. I almost took her other hand to see what she was showing them, but decided against it. I would let them have this moment with her. Carlisle was the last one to see whatever it was like and when they were done, his eyes were bright and full of wonder. "Ah, interesting," he said, leaning back from Nessie's palm. "It's like a complete reversal of Edward's mind reading. Instead of-" He kept talking but I suddenly couldn't hear.

Edward.

That name.

Edward.

His name.

Again.

Edward.

It tore through me with a roar that should've shaken the globe. I hunched forward, curling in on myself to try and stop it from breaking free. Air kept coming into my body too fast and I struggled to keep up. Somewhere in my mind I realized I was hyperventilating, but I couldn't stop.

Edward.

Another rip through the tattered remains of my heart. It would be the end of me if it didn't stop soon. How much more of me could there be for it to devour?

Someone called my name, but I couldn't hear it clearly over the roar. Pressure on my arms. Shaking. Someone was shaking me I thought dully. I felt something weakly bat against the despair warring within me, but it couldn't do anything. It was too strong, too loud. I couldn't escape it. It was every where around me, trying to pull me under. I had survived so much up to this point, but this was it. This was my time now.

Edward...

MOM! the voice broke through the roar, showing itself as golden thread that radiated warmth through the cold dark. I followed it to the voice, to the peace that it promised.

When I came to, I was aware of burning hot hands grabbing my upper arms anxiously and another warm hand on my cheek. Mom! the voice called again. The hand on my cheek disappeared and my sight came back to me. Jacob was in front of me. He was the one gripping my arms. Carlisle was next to him, hovering over me worriedly along with Rosalie. Renesmee was to my left, looking paler than she should, tears flowing freely down her cheeks. She was crying. Why was she crying? I frowned and tried to reach for her, but Jacob still had met arms pinned. "Nessie, what's wrong?" I asked, surprised at how weak I sounded.

She sniffed and wiped her eyes impatiently. "What's wrong with me? What happened to you?" Her voice. The voice. Oh..she was the one who called to me. The hand on my cheek. "Carlisle was just talking about one of his old friends and then you and Jasper collapsed. He said you were in trouble and I had to help you."

Jasper? Jasper. I looked around and saw Alice, Emmett and Esme with Jasper, trying to help him to his feet. He looked about as bad as I felt. Our eyes met and if mine looked anything like his, I could see why Nessie was worried. Jake demanded my attention back by almost yelling, "Bells, what happened? Are you hurt? Do you need to go to the hospital?"

"Jake, you're hurting me," I complained, squirming uncomfortably in his tight grasp. He let me go immediately and apologized. I sat up in the chair and reached for Renesmee. Her hand found mine and I immediately felt more grounded. I sighed. "I'm fine, I'm not hurt. I think I just...overwhelmed myself."

Carlisle guided Jacob back and he started looking in my eyes, full doctor examination style. He asked, "Have you had these types of spells before?"

"No but this has been a pretty stressful twenty four hours," I tried to joke.

Carlisle frowned. "Vampires can't faint, Bella, but you basically did just that. Was there a stressor that was triggering to you?"

The name tried to float through my mind again, but I shoved it away. "I don't think so." Despite his objection, I stood up and let Renesmee's hand go. "I probably just need to hunt. I'll...I'll be back." I really didn't want to leave my daughter, especially right now, but I couldn't be around them. So I ran out of the house and into the forest.

As I ran, I thought. How could I explain to them that just the sound of his name effected me so? How could I begin to describe the severity of the hole that was carved into me when they left? Jacob had known the whole story from the beginning and still didn't understand that there really wasn't any of me left. I hoped it might mostly heal with seeing them here again, seeing their love and concern for me but it seems it was having the opposite effect. The hole in my chest seemed to have grown with every passing moment. Everything they did, everything they said, just brought me back to him. For once I understood when he said I was like his own personal demon sent to torture him. He was my demon now, the ghost that would forever haunt me.

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