Nathan sat there upright with short shallow breaths, feeling Asuka's slender fingers around his forearms as they slowly stroked up and down his skin, keeping his arms wrapped around her with his hands on her hips. Asuka had her eyes darting from his and to different points of the room, she could feel her face burn from the embarrassment at being this close to him and liking the feeling of his quiet gasps of her name and the feeling of his hands gently resting on her hips.

And there was something more about his eyes, even behind the thick black frames they looked different. They no longer had the blank, half closed tired look to them with dark circles under his eyes, but instead were wide and almost seemed to shimmer in the low light of the room. Tiny pockets of white stood out like bright stars in the midnight hour, and she swore she could see herself reflected back in them. Even if there was a slight timidness there was something else in his eyes. Some kind of silent longing or some unknown feelings now burning to the surface, almost as if he was seeing her for the first time or seeing her in a new light.

But his eyes had that feeling of opening wide as his pupils dilated, and never stopped looking up at her with some feeling of awe at her, it almost reminded her of the looks all the guys had given her when she first showed up at Tokyo and school, the only one who didn't even bother to give her a second glance was him. But now it was as if he were seeing her for the first time ever, and she could feel her heart flutter at his gaze of adoration.

"We said we wanted a new start, right?"

She saw his own face, his cheeks with a light tinge of pink against his dark skin but his ear lobes a bright scarlet, he nodded still in confusion, but he was eyeing her up and down swallowing hard with his tongue constantly wetting his lips, the tips of his teeth visible. As he nodded the messy tips of his hair swayed along with his head.

"This is a way we could do it. I guess we're kind of friends right now, right?"

"Y-yeah I guess."

"And you said you'd do whatever I wanted right? Watch out for one another? Well I want this."

With her arms around his neck, she pulled him in for a kiss, "Wait!" he gasped out, but she had already connected her lips with his own, shifting her weight she pushed him down on his back, with her knees on his hips she began to rub his inner thighs with her feet.

She could hear him give some muffled moans, his eyes fluttering open with them partially rolling to the back of his head. But they didn't sound like moans of protest but comfort and pleasure, she felt his hands move up from her hips to her shoulder blades. His eyes finally shut closed, and his body lost its rigidity as he let himself be molded by her tight hold and he began to now with new eagerness move his lips around hers and slip his tongue into her mouth, sliding it across hers at first gently. Waiting for her to show if she wanted to go more intense and once, she returned the favor, she felt her chest tighten once he began to lustfully and eagerly kiss her.

She felt him gently pull her in close and lightly massage her back. Their bodies began to grind against one another, she could feel his firm body against her fragile frame, she began to let out soft cooing whimpers of pleasure and when he heard her soft voice, he seemed to grab her firmer, pulling her in tighter. She could feel his hands move down from her back down to her butt, and soon enough his fingers slid in between her tight small fleshly mounds, sinking in between the crack of the supple flesh as his fingernails dug into her shorts and he began to squeeze her butt cheeks.

Molding them in his hands as he massaged them each in overly exaggerated circular motions, making them softly clap as he stretched them apart, moving the tight muscles around Asuka whimpered out gently in pleasure and in embarrassment. She'd never admit it, but she could feel her maidenhood burn along with a streak of heat leading up her backside to his fingers prying her flesh apart. His sudden eagerness and this manly aggression that was seemingly building up in him was exciting her and she could feel a damp sticky hot feeling start to spread out through her crotch.

Asuka could feel his nose letting out tiny puffs of air tickling her face and neck, it felt a little funny and uncomfortable, but she remembered how it was when she kissed Shinji the first time, how he didn't hold her, how she pinched his nose shut choking him, making him shrink away from her. She closed her eyes and continued to lightly kiss him squeezing out hot tears, their lips parting for mere seconds as they shifted positions, but she wasn't fighting his own for dominance.

Not yet anyways, she continued to let him breath out of his nose, the small puffs of air made her back shiver. She wouldn't make the same mistake she made with Shinji, she wouldn't push him away, she would do whatever he wanted tonight, she would wait for him to make the first move. Her mind kept jumping back and forth from that thought however, she could feel his eagerness, but something was holding it back. Maybe he didn't want to hurt her… maybe he really wasn't into her, but she didn't care how rough he was with her.

She could handle whatever he had to offer, and she would show him what she could offer him, the things she'd be willing to do. Maybe that's why things never worked out with Shinji… she was too forceful, too open with herself, she let her fragile self out too soon. But now that these feelings were slipping out from him, his touches comforting her and fulfilling these new desires she didn't want to stop.

After all, guys and girls couldn't just be friends or live with each other like this right? Things were bound to happen, besides back in Germany in the co-ed dorms she'd hear rumors about how it was just a non-stop cession of musical rooms with people switching partners almost every other week. All those grown-ups hanging out together, getting drunk and fooling around sometimes taking things further.

After all they had been doing most of the classic college life things she was denied, she had to live in a separate dorm, none of the upper classmen much less freshmen wanted anything to do with her. And all the guys brushed her off, she just went to classes, ate alone and went back to the lone empty house located near campus. But she listened and fed off everything all the other students talked about, just being near them and hearing about those things made her more of grown up than any other stupid kid at the middle school.

But Nathan was the pretty odd himself, but the air around him made him stand out pretty differently from the other kids in school. He didn't even seem to like being there, and quitting school entirely just seemed to be in his nature. He wanted nothing to do but pilot the EVA, he didn't care for the stupid kid school life. He was better than that and so was she, that school was nothing, but a pit filled with losers who would never know greatness. They wouldn't know just what she could offer to them or what she had gone through, nothing! But he did, maybe not the same life path but she knew that he had the fire of an EVA pilot burning with him. Nobody at school could offer her that, not even Kazuo. And with Kazuo, she went to him willingly without knowing him hoping she would find something that would fill that empty pit in her chest, and she gave herself wholly to him and received nothing in return but empty looks and words.

Asuka could feel Nathan's hands shift from around her butt to her stomach, rubbing her all over. By now her skin felt like she had been sleeping on a bed of coals, she thought by now his skin would be burning just as hot, but his hands felt cold as ice, but it was nice. The sheer contrast made her shiver and burn hotter almost as if it was a reminder that there was another body hungrily feeling her body and reassuring her that he was there. But now she had stopped letting her arms rest around his neck and had began to feel his body, eager to fill this specimen that was pulling her wildly closer to his hips where she could feel a hard throbbing heat start to rub her just under her stomach.

His body hadn't yet adjusted to her touch or the sheer pleasure and hormonal lust and blended his own temperature with hers, their total opposite bodies coming together like a storm and blending together. Asuka felt him break off their kiss and move his mouth to her ear, she could hear him lightly gasping and smelling her hair. As she let her hands rub his body, focusing on his chest and stomach she was surprised to feel a pulsating and tight feeling as it felt like his skin was being stretched out over his body and grow taught over his muscles. And letting out a hungry gasp she began to rub them, not believing him to be so fit, she never had a chance to get this up and close to him but now she could feel like there were muscles that were previously hidden now rising up and becoming firmer as their density increased. His chest popped out along with the carved sections of his abs, even his arms and hands around her felt stronger. She moaned greedily biting her lip as she playfully remembered all those nights she spent in her room, gently touching herself and cupping her breast imagining a boy with popping muscles doing this kind of stuff with her. But now if he rolled her over and pinned her arms at her side, kissing her neck with lust as he left teeth marks on her body marking her as his just before they truly made love she wouldn't have complained.

Even if she was light, Nathan couldn't help but feel Asuka was pinning him down with the weight of a thousand suns, but it felt comfortable. He had lost count of how long it had been since he was last with Rei, he wasn't lusting after another girl just to get his rocks off again, but it felt nice to be held and touched by someone else. To feel their whole body starting to burn up at his touch and with every finger feel Asuka's heartbeat echoing throughout her body. This feeling of closeness and acceptance, as they bonded themselves together and showed the most honest way, they could admit in what way they felt for one another. How they could show a yearning to not be alone and feel the reaffirmation that they were still alive and could be lusted for… maybe even loved. That some other body, heart, and soul wanted them in the closest most loving sense.

He wouldn't admit it to her but when she sat on his lap and pressed him down, he felt slightly intimated. He remembered the fire Asuka had inside herself and how it could spark and hit anyone who was too close or careless to not distance themselves from her… but lately he couldn't explain it but there was something different about her. And just maybe that fire that often burned around her, had some attractive quality to it. He never knew anyone else with such a dedication to piloting and lust for battle and to win, to garner that praise that only the defenders of humanity rightfully deserved. To tower over the rest of the crowd of nobodies who just went blankly through life in robotic motions, who never could know that warming comfort of the EVA's plug.

Maybe it was just the two of them spending more time with one another and the times they spent drinking and becoming partners in crime, but when he saw her without her EVA clips and how she opened up to him about her mother he felt like he was seeing an entirely different person.

She seemed smaller and more vulnerable, now with this it just seemed like she was trying to reach out to him and show him another side of her, that she wasn't just the Asuka that was a bitch or pushed everyone away. But why was she showing him this side of her now… was there anyone else who saw this side of her he wondered.

But feeling her soft touch and just breathing in her smell, that sweet and deeply intoxicating feminine smell, she smelt of both a meadow of flowers and spice. And the more she kissed him, gently cradling him, not shying away from his cold hands made his eyes water as he felt ashamed of himself and his first take on Asuka.

But now he was seeing this whole new side of her… or was this the real Asuka that she had kept locked away… only giving certain people a glimpse of her true nature. It was as if her fiery and angry nature was just an act to push people away, and all the bravado and bitchy nature was just to push people away who she didn't trust enough.

People who she felt had nothing to offer her or maybe she was scared that they would hurt her. Anyone who got turned away from this act she put on would never see this other side of her. And only those who could brave through her façade and earn her trust were allowed to see her she really was.

When Nathan broke off the kiss and moved his face to her ear, he began to smell her, letting her scent overwhelm his senses he started to see her nature in a different light, it was almost as if Asuka really was like fire or a rose.

Something that was beautiful and appealing to the eye, something that flaunted itself for all to see but if you touched it could hurt you but only by working your way around its defensive nature could you really see what it was hiding.

Nathan gasped as his hands moved up her smooth stomach, his hands stretched wide as his fingers curled over her flanks and his thumbs rubbed up her stomach, making her quiver and breathe eagerly like was wanting more of his touch. His hands kept reaching up, as she let out small whimpers, it felt as if her small coos were let out letting him know just how much she wanted this, wanted him. And each little gasp was just more incentive for him to continue feeling her up, her skin so hot, so smooth, her lips so wet and sticky.

He still remembered the feeling of her breasts on his chest. They didn't have the vague half-lemon like shape that Rei's breasts had, they were shapelier like small pyramid or mounds, but they may have been slightly smaller but were firmer, and it felt as if her nipples were already hardening as she grinded against his body.

He wondered just how firm they would be in his hands, they felt firm against his chest, but he wanted to know how squishy they would feel, how they would mold in his hands and if he could feel her heart beating when he held them. But more than anything, he wanted her to hold him, to hug him tightly as he suckled at her breast.

He imagined the two of them, Asuka with her arms stretched beyond her head as he suckled her breasts, one of his hands in between her legs softly stroking her precious part and massaging all around it. He wanted to hear her cries of pleasure he wanted her to whisper his name breathlessly in his ear, he wanted her to wrap her legs around his hips while he drove them into her and feel her body melt in his arms, wanted her to pull him in tight as he filled up her womb with his seed. And then in the afterglow of their orgasms pull her tightly close to his body with his member still inside her, soaking in the mix of their love fluids as their bodies wrapped tighter around one another until their bodies were so entangled with one another in the dark that it was almost impossible to tell themselves apart.

He wanted to feel his entire being become in synch with her own, he wanted to show her that he wouldn't hurt her and that he wanted to see more of this new Asuka but… his eyes snapped open, he only felt these same desires with Rei and only Rei, right?

If that was the case, why were all these thoughts and urges coming from Asuka now? He had never thought of her in that light, but now he was. But he was with Rei, she was the only one for him, they swore to one another that they would have nobody else but each other. But she had been gone for so long now and he was starting to feel like his old self again, cold and detached from the world around him like he was just floating through the halls. A hollow pit that was growing out from the center of his chest, making him slowly collapse in on himself until he completely disappeared like a blackhole.

And right here with Asuka, he felt as if she experienced those same feelings at some time. He didn't want to admit it but without Rei by his side he started to feel empty and alone like he was before Tokyo. The only one who was by his side now was Asuka, he wasn't fully sure how he felt about her, but it felt so nice being held and desired by her. With how she was now it felt like he could open himself up as well, and it felt good… there wasn't anything bad about wanting to feel good right?

He broke off the kiss and sat up right, with his hands on her shoulders. He may have been a little too forceful with his grip on her, but her skin felt so smooth and fragile, Asuka feeling him push her away shut her eyes shut and braced herself. Trying to ready for him to fling her off his body, her tiny heart splintering at the thought of yet another heart locking her away.

But then she felt his hands slide down from her shoulders down her back, slowly he pulled her in and met her chest to chest. She propped herself up on her knees trying to get comfortable, but she still felt confused about what was happening. A small dull and distant thumping vibrated against her chest, but it was only felt in the empty rests of her own beating heart, it was heavy and slow with a double beat like his heart was slowly unfolding.

He rested his chin on her shoulder, "I'm sorry Asuka… but I'm not sure I can do this."

"You don't have to look at me… we can do it from behind, but I can feel your heart beating. Does it…? Does it sound like that when you're with her?"

"Yeah… a little."

"I'm not asking you to leave her or get with me. I know you don't love me and… maybe nobody ever could but, I'll do whatever you want if you just think of me while we do it. You can even take my virginity… that's something guys like to think about, right? You'd be my first."

"Asuka- "

"Just think about it please! You don't have any idea what it's like, to feel like this… like nothing… empty."

He bit his lip and looked away, she leaned in closer making her chest firmer against his, "And we like we said right, there's nothing with feeling good right? And right now, it's only us. We have to look out for each other, right?"

Nathan sat there mulling over what she said, "Can you get up Asuka… I just gotta think about somethings."

She slowly pulled away from him, letting her fingers drag along. "Fine… but you will think about this right?"

He gave her a short nod and then Asuka slowly stood up, walked to his door and gave one last look over her shoulder to him with her hand on the threshold before disappearing to her room. Once he heard the door silently, he stretched on the bed pulling off the covers and started to breathe heavily feeling beads of sweat roll of his body and waves of heat come off his skin. He could feel his heart start to race and his muscles pulse, it wasn't just that his member was stiff and aching, but he could swear he had the faint scent of LCL in his nose, he was starting to feel the same way he did whenever he was near the EVAs and he was starting to feel a fraction of what he felt when he masturbated to Unit 01. That mind numbing comfort that made his body felt energized with some new alien strength that worked its way from his limbs to his heart and felt as if… there were hands stroking his body guiding those waves of warmth and comfort towards his small heart. And that way he felt as if he were being lulled to sleep by some familiar yet alien presence that he felt as if he was supposed to know but was denied from the moment of his conception, it felt as if he was comfortable with slowly disappearing.

He needed to cool off and get his head on straight, he had to focus and take in just what was going on, and what his next move would be.

He picked up his MP3 and stripped down to his boxers, grabbing a fresh pair he headed off to the bathroom giving a quick glance over to the girls' room where Asuka was alone, but the door was halfway open. He wondered if she opened it up after closing it. Part of him wanted to sneak a peak in and see what she was up to, maybe she really was serious about hooking up and how she felt.

Maybe this was just something she did to make him more comfortable with the idea of making the first move on her or just another sign that she really did want for them to embrace each other, to get a fraction of what he and Rei felt, and to let him get to know a side of her that no one else knew.

He could feel his blood start to boil and froth in his veins as it raced through his body making a glowing warmth burn though out his being. But he had to keep his head on straight, he turned away from the door and headed into the bathroom.

Sitting on the small plastic stool with pockets of suds on his body he leaned his head against the tile where dots of water streamed down, he blasted his body with the small shower gun spraying ice cold water hoping to calm the fire in his veins. His hair soaked clung to his head like a cold compress, but no matter how tight his skin started to cling ot his body and the colonies of goosebumps that popped up on his skin behind the thick wall of ice that his skin felt like it was becoming deep in his chest he felt a thick lump or heavy weight of heat still burning away.

Once the last of the body soap was washed away, he gave a small shiver and dried his upper body and hair, slipping into the tub filled to the brim with hot water Nathan let out a shaky sigh, feeling that same comforting warmth he had received with Asuka just minutes ago.

He grabbed his player wanting to retreat back to his old self, back to when it seemed easier to just shut out the world and his troubles with music at least then he could just focus on what was being blasted into his ears rather than whatever was facing him in the eye, things would be easier if she was just here… he thought to himself as he hit shuffle.

With only one arm hanging out of the tub he closed his eyes trying to enjoy the skin prickling feeling of the hot water slowly cooking his skin, even if his face was out of the water, he could feel his cheeks start to blush from the steam.

But whatever song he landed on just didn't feel right, he didn't know what was wrong with him besides the fact that his dick had yet to surrender the massive amount of blood that still resided in it, it was at least thicken then it normally was if not a few inches longer.

His eyes fluttered at the warmth that was making his nerves buzz, he just needed to find the right song to lull him into relaxation in order to get his head on right, he couldn't imagine the pain that he put Shinji through when he slept with Rei behind his back. The last thing he wanted to do was put her through that same pain, even if he had to quietly admit to himself that he did feel like he was slowly regressing to his old distant self, sure he found it easier to talk with people and look them in the eye now but still, he felt hollow inside.

He kept mulling over Asuka's last words thinking about how he felt when Rei finally embraced him fully and bonded their bodies and souls together, how it felt like something beyond all description other than being wholly accepted and taken into, having all those empty spots of his heart and soul filled with someone else yearning for that same touch and connection.

He kept skipping songs, not even bothering to listen to the opening lyric, rift or even note. Nathan just kept skipping each new song, not even bothering to look at the screen for the briefest of seconds to see the title of the newly selected song.

Just then for a moment he stopped skipping and heard a lone guitar playing slowly and sadly with an echoing effect on before a voice stricken with pain and regret started to sing in a constrained screaming voice, almost as if the vocalist was trying to hold back all the pain and raw emotion he had been building up.

"Just when I think I need someone, they wrap their arms around my old bones!"

''I walk away from anyone that cares about me, but I swear… my skin's not as rough as I make it out to be… the saddest part is I've been distant since I was sixteen!"

It was sixteen by Real friends, a song he couldn't remember the last he heard it, but it seemed too perfect that now he was listening to it, he kept playing the first half of the song, drinking in the lyric as they were lulled into his ears. Pushing away the fact that Asuka did feel uncommonly skinny for her age and size he thought about just how small she felt in his arms, how delicate… she even shivered at his touch, but he knew it wasn't just from the cold that naturally radiated off his body but something else.

Almost as if she had spent her whole life building up some kind of defense to protect the delicate nature she kept hidden away, but the last part is what cut through his bones and stabbed at his heart.

How she really just might have been putting up her whole attitude and style on as an act, to try and convince others that she was confident and didn't need anyone or any love, like he had often felt before Rei and when he had just arrived in Tokyo. But just like him, beneath that thin sheet of skin he had built to hide away his true feeling and pain lied someone who distanced themselves out of a need for safety and pain, pain and fear of being rejected.

He felt his eyes start to sting and burn, "It's just the water…" he mumbled to himself in a halfhearted way trying to convince himself, still lying to himself over what he was starting to truly feel.

He lifted his right hand to brush away what he thought were tears from the right side of his face but only received a small splash of water on his face, even if his fingers were quick enough all he felt now was the sleek wet skin. But on the other side of his face where no water had touched, he just felt a single hot stream of water that seeped from his eye.

Feeling his chest tighten further beneath the hot waters he hit skip, no longer able to listen to that song hoping to find another one that would convince him that what he was feeling was wrong and that he should just go to bed, or at the most extreme run off somewhere else. To his old run down, empty apartment building or to Rei's or even the small room that was set up for him in one of the infinite hallways here at NERV.

But he knew he couldn't do that to Asuka, not after what she revealed to him.

Then a gritty and distorted guitar roared to life as another song started to take over his mind. "I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut! …And my scars remind me that the past is real, I tear my heart open, just to feel!"

Now despite the fact that the right side of his face still had patches of water from the tub on it, Nathan couldn't help but feel streams of tears coming off his face now from both sides, silently sitting there as the floodgates opened, he gripped the sides of his head bringing up the player to his head only for it to fall from his grasp when his fingers entangled themselves into his hair.

He couldn't count the number of times he had heard Papa Roach's Scars, but now it was the only thing he could hear in his head, every note and gritty pained word sung was playing on repeat perfectly inside his mind, seeing Asuka sitting on his lap in tears and using her hair to cover her face as she poured out her true feelings of pain and loneliness to him, making him remember the same way he had often felt long ago.

His fingernails felt like they were cutting deep into his scalp about to rip the capillaries on his skin apart, just by force of instinct he wanted to retreat underneath the water and suck as much as he could into his lungs to run away, to hide from this new pain and feelings that were overwhelming and frying his brain. The guilt of what he wanted to do, and what such actions would have against Rei but then his body did something beyond his control.

Just as he felt his legs give away from propping him up, before he slipped into the water, his upper body seemed to burn and burst with a newfound energy that rolled him over the side of the tub onto the mass of old clothes and bathmat.

Gasping hard until his chest pain finally settled, he slowly removed the ear buds that were buzzing and crackling in his ear, the last final dead calls from his MP3 player, but even after just soaking in the water that would have boiled any marine life to death, he suddenly felt cold and more naked than he already was laying on those dirty old clothes.

Wrapping his arms around his knees that were tightly hugged to his chest he pulled a towel over himself, sitting up right but still wrapped up he began to drain the tub staring at the fresh laundry he brought for himself to wear. It was only a pair of polyester boxers, he admitted he liked the style and material just because he felt it made him look sexier or somehow more desirable to Rei… but she didn't seem like the kind of girl to pay much attention to things like that.

But why was that the only piece of clothing he brought with him? Had he already made up his mind about what he was going to do even before slipping into the bath?

Taking his time, he dried off and pulled his boxers on, once the water had finished draining, he tossed out the waterlogged MP3, stepping out into the hallway he felt his chest tighten as his heart began to hammer away. With his mouth now feeling dry he licked his lips and chew his cheek as he tried to catch his breath, feeling his heart rip through whatever vice he had been trying to contain it in as well as his chest.

On one side was his bedroom door and on the other was where Asuka lay waiting for him, he bit his lip and held his hand over his chest trying to reaffirm what he was feeling and what he may have wanted. He patiently listened and felt for those heartbeats, a heart so powerful he had begun to feel it behind his eyes as well as in the souls of his feet. And tried to remember all those times he could remember it beat in that same fashion. If he was being honest with himself for most of his lifetime, he had forgotten that he was even supposed to have a heartbeat… that was until he met Rei and now at this very moment.

Then slowly with the floor creaking under his feet he walked into Asuka's room, he saw the small red head rouse from her bed where she rested atop the covers and blankets. The strap to her teal tank top on her left shoulder gently fell off showing off her collarbone, her eyes seemed to widen at seeing him.

Almost as if in surprise or happiness that he was finally coming to her.

But once he had past the threshold and made it halfway to her did, he stop in his tracks, and glance down at his clothes or lack thereof, he felt his chest tighten and cheeks burn. Somehow, he felt even more naked than he would have felt if he had just walked in wearing nothing.

Propping herself up on her knees she looked at him, even in the low light of the room he could see that she was blushing, she looked away for a second before asking. "Is something wrong?"

"Uh… no its just, I feel kind of…"

"Don't worry… but have you thought of it yet?", he nodded in the dark still shyly covering himself up.

"And?"

He stood there silently for a moment, he took a few hesitant steps forward slowly shuffling, by now he could feel his heartbeat racing in the bottoms of his feet. Before he knew it, he was on his knees at the foot of her futon mat, Asuka herself had shifted to her knees as well looking down at his waist giving off a small smile.

She patted a small spot front of her, "You know I didn't think you were this daring… you could have worn something nicer." She said giving a small nervous snicker, trying to ease the mood.

"Shut up… my heart's already racing a million miles an hour." He replied with a short, embarrassed laugh before pulling himself up on her mat, "Still… it feels different having your eyes on me and not… hers. I just feel nervous. But… I do wanna do this with you. I just feel something different around you."

"Different how?" she asked with an almost cautious eagerness.

"I'm not sure… but it feels nice and warm in my chest. It's just a new feeling but I feel like I like it."

Asuka's eyes went wide, her face already a light shade of pink grew to an even darker red that almost surpassed her hair. "Oh… alright, but how do you want to do this?"

She looked up at him and scooted forward until their knees were touching, his eyes were still facing down until she put her slender hands on his shoulders lifting his face up to meet hers. Gently removing his glasses, she put them aside and pulled his arms around her waist, "I guess we should just take things slow… it's your first time, right?"

"Yeah… it's not gonna hurt or anything right?" she asked pulling her down atop her, her eyes started to shimmer in the light showing a slight vulnerability and openness, maybe even a slight joy at being held.

"Maybe a little at first, I think. But I'll go slow.

"But it'll feel better right?"

He gave a slight nod, already his face was so close to Asuka's face, the tips of her bangs that hung loosely off the front of her forehead were tickling his head. "Alright just… go slow."

She sounded nervous, maybe even a little scared, "Hey… if it's too much just tell me and I'll stop."

He moved his hand and gently touched her face, then slowly he moved his body and pulled her up, sitting upright on his knees he pulled her legs around his waist and started to kiss her neck, giving it short lustful licks. Moving from her ear to her collarbone and shoulder.

"Mhmnn." Asuka gave out a short shuddering moan at feeling him start to kiss her, the rest of his body may have felt cold but now his lips felt good like a small patch of burning coals that made her body shiver with pleasure. She could then feel him moving his hands up her torso and slowly pull her tank top over her chest.

She lifted her arms up in the air, letting him undress her, her heart fluttering with excitement as she saw his eyes glowing with warmth and lust eyeing her bare body, how he subtly bit and licked his lip in anticipation at seeing her breasts. Her hair swished over her chest, covering her breasts, he crumpled up the shirt and threw it away. Once she was sure his attention was solely on her, she pulled her loose hanging hair away from her body and flung it over her shoulders.

Then his eyes were instantly glued to her chest and slowly his hands rose up her sides, she gasped meekly as she felt his fingers rub over her ribs and saw just how intently he was eyeing them but there was something else to his eyes, his face didn't show that he was overly happy or excited to see them, in fact he looked like he normally did just staring with empty eyes at them.

She felt a quick blow to her ego, just another thing Rei and Misato beat her in, she thought. "Are they too small?"

She asked with a wavering voice, just then his head shot up from her chest his full attention to her eyes, a wave of red overtook his natural coloring as he let out a small from the corners of his lips, "No, it's just… I can kinda see your tan lines. And they look so cute, I-…" he cut himself off. His hands rested just underneath her breasts, Asuka could feel her cheeks burning with pride now, the way he marveled at her beauty made her ego swell.

"You're so beautiful… can I… can I?" he asked.

She didn't know what he was going to do but hearing his voice shaky with both nervousness and excitement, his eyes not leaving her made her own body start to burn and shudder at just the thought of what he wanted to do to her. But there was still a tad bit of nervousness burning in her, she hadn't done that much with guys and she was still a virgin, but she did tell him that he could do whatever he wanted.

"Go ahead… just be gentle whatever you do. I didn't know you liked tan lines though." She teased. "Shut up." he shyly retorted with a short laugh returning her attention to her chest.

The next thing she knew, Asuka felt Nathan's hot breath and tongue on her breasts, how he slipped his face in between the two twin pyramids of flesh, breathing their scent in before roughly licking her left breast squeezing the right one until it molded into his fingers.

She felt her body shiver once his teeth started to drag across her nipple until he took her whole nipple into his mouth, groaning out in a mix of pleasure and pain she felt him suckle her breast tightly pulling his head back stretching the skin until it popped out his mouth with a loud sticky noise.

He gave the same loving attention to the other one as well, cupping them from beneath squeezing them and rolling them on her chest, she could feel her nipples start to perk up and harden even with his hot breath and tongue wrapping themselves and swirling all over them she could feel a ring of goosebumps springing up around her nipples.

She couldn't help but feel embarrassed, the way her voice was slowly starting to give and her head feeling both fuzzy and heavy, "Hua, huah, huah… ahhh!" she started to let out short gasping moans at feeling him go between sucking either breast before pinching and rubbing the small nubs all over.

Her head began to tilt back with her small mouth open slightly, her breathing became short and heavy. Already she could feel swarms of butterflies in her stomach and her maidenhood stated to feel hot and her panties slightly sticky, then she felt her hips start to gyrate by themselves as if some other driving force was taking over her body. She felt a lump in between his legs, there was small heat behind it, but it felt like a small stone.

But it was so soft yet firm, and so hot. As much as she didn't want to, she found that when she rubbed herself on it, it sent sparks of electricity and fire throughout her lower half and up her spine. She could feel her legs tremble and shake, once she started to work up a steady rhythm on it Asuka started to hear Nathan gasp out and moan, he stopped suckling her breasts and buried his eyes into her neck letting each hot breath of pleasure warm up her chest.

It felt so good, she could feel his whole body start to heat up and burn, already he felt different, firmer all over and stronger as he pulled her in closer, she swore she could feel muscles that weren't there before, and how whole body taking on a new shape, pulling away for a second, she stared at him, and saw a hungry look in his eyes.

Before she knew what was happening, she pulled him in for a lustful kiss, sticking out her tongue and meeting his lips she felt his own tongue stick out and rub around her own. Their kiss was hot and sticky, dancing along each other and touching their lips had them pulling even tighter together rolling around on the mat as they used not only their bodies but their tongue and lip placement to fight over for who would be on top.

Both of their eyes felt hot and stung, as their whole bodies burned, Asuka pulled away from the kiss feeling her lungs crying out for air she began gasping out feeling a thick string of hot saliva roll down her chin.

She looked to him and saw that he was atop her, his knees on either side of her hips, lying flat on her back even through the dark fabric of his boxers she saw a bulging lump, she couldn't help but feel her chest tighten and burn at realizing that she was grinding on his crotch. She didn't pay attention to just how big it was, squished between his legs but now it looked like she would get a clear picture of just what he felt for her.

Slowly raising her cupped hand with fingers up she ran it underneath until she felt his bulge hovering above her small hand and gently raised it cupping it and squeezing it gently, "Mhnnn." She heard him moan out, covering up her own thoughts, with wide eyes and a tight chest she mouthed out, "Mein Gott."

Her wide blue sapphire eyes shone up with awe and a slight intimidation, not only at feeling his crotch but seeing his body, how slim he looked yet chiseled, small yet solid formations of muscle popping out of his body. Something about it felt familiar like the skinny young male models she had seen in teen fashion magazines as well as those adult ones she had hidden away only pulling out when she was totally bored, alone or wanted something to think about before falling asleep. She couldn't stop eyeing him and wanting to touch his chest and stomach, her mind fuzzed over as she thought it was the perfect kind of male body she would have wanted to be with.

Seeing his body unveiled for her to see she looked down at hers, her smallish breasts that still had faint pink marks of his mouth all over them and her small tight, flat stomach with the hint of her ribs on her sides. She hoped that he truly did like what he saw and wasn't just going along with this just for some other reason, she wanted to know he truly accepted her and wanted her on some level.

That maybe in some fantasy or ideal world she could feel the full and unbridled love a boy could give her, she let her hand leave his crotch and move to his ab muscles feeling them as well as the other packs of muscles she saw begin to appear before her eyes.

Nathan rested atop her looking into her eyes, they were open wide and lit up with tiny pockets of white, shining like the jewel their shade of blue was named after, the more he stared into them he felt as if she was looking deeper into his heart and unlike the adult who only looked at him with cold or calculating eyes that only wanted to use him to fulfill his purpose, he felt something comforting and almost loving with Asuka's eyes now.

He may not have admitted this to anyone much less to himself but before this… before they decided to embrace each other, Nathan always thought that Asuka had beautiful eyes. Ones that were filled with a fire of life, one that was fueled by some unrelenting ambition and rebellion against life or whatever odds she faced, she always seemed so confident and ready to fight. But they also seemed cold like ice and lonely, but that was before now those small gleaming pockets of white in her eyes felt like they were the hidden spots of warmth and light that she kept to herself.

And that only very lucky people, people she trusted and felt… things for were the only ones who knew that side of her existed. And as she stared up at him, her hands slowly moving over his chest to his shoulders and gently around his neck pulling him in for a light tonguey kiss, he deiced he wanted to be that one person.

Asuka's eyes were fluttering and struggling to stay open, not only could she feel herself becoming enamored with his newly changed body and wanted to see her fingers dance along his body but feeling his beating heart and seeing his eyes and feeling that comforting glow of being held and accepted she wanted to make sure she wasn't dreaming, and that some boy wanted to hold her, comfort her, embrace her and never let her go. She wanted to know that he wouldn't throw her away after he was done.

Her brain began buzzing with warmth, if she wasn't feeling with comforting glow that numbed her thoughts, she might have noted that she should have felt scared or more concerned, feeling the small pockets of muscle he had almost grow firmer and in size. But she found those small worrying thoughts of fear slowly washing away from the front of her mind, feeling his hand gently rest on her face and the other on her left breast cupping it from beneath feeling her heartbeat felt reassuring.

It felt like this was his way of telling her she had nothing to fear. "OOOoooh." She crooned muffled through her kiss, feeling his tongue over power hers, wrapping itself around as his hand kneaded her breast and pinched her nipple. Her hands sunk to his firm chest, wanting to feel more of this slow and heavy heartbeat.

There was something about that felt as if it wasn't just beating throughout his whole body, but it was sending its dying vibrations into her body as well, and with its last echoes that traveled into her arms and body, she felt some kind of warm and pleasant energy.

She swore there was some kind of power filling her up… something otherworldly.

With her eyes open she looked up as he broke off the kiss, feeling his tongue slowly retreating from her mouth she gazed into his eyes, something about them felt so comforting, they weren't like Kazuo just looking at her outward worth.

It was like she was looking deeper inside her, studying her worth, looking deeper into her and finding some small pocket of her that had him wanting to bond with her deeper. Along with some other feeling that they gave off, a look of reliance and wanting that had her feelings as if all of a sudden, they were the last two beings left on this earth with only one another to comfort each other and to fill one another's hearts. Something that was making her want to sink into his chest and heart that heartbeat, almost be absorbed into it and surround herself in whatever love it could offer if it meant finally being rid of all this pain, and fear she had being carrying in herself ever since their battles against the angels first started.

As Asuka kept feeling his hands on her, and feeling her own hands slide over his body, there was a feeling growing inside her that was compelling her that she wanted to be accepted and seen worthy by him. Her hands drifted lower until she was past his stomach, her hand continued to drifter lower and lower until…

"Mein Gott." Is it normally like this, he doesn't even feel hard yet she thought.

With a small moan she felt his hot gasp on her neck as he began to cup it and fondle it, a small squeak of awe escaped her lips as she felt him grip her shoulders and push himself into her. Cupping it she couldn't believe how hot it was burning, even if it was still flaccid, she could feel how big it was and its weight, she could even feel his pulse through it.

Her hand moved from letting his cock rest in her hand to feeling his balls, squeezing and fondling them she found herself growing hotter under the collar and tenser as well as wetter under her panties just by feeling their sheer weight.

'Gott I'm such a pervert… so glad… he can't tell… but they're so big, more like a bull or horse's…' she thought beginning to lightly gasp at feeling his kisses go up to her ear lobe.

She found herself squeezing and fondling them more, admiring their weight, heat and the sheer male potency they had within them, almost like he was the idealized male pilot, or her ideal mate as if someone had been looking into her mind just as her raging hormones were taking over and showing her the clear perfect image of a male she wanted. And now here he was.

Lean but muscular, level-headed versus her fiery nature, collected and willing to sacrifice himself to save his teammates, not one to hog the spotlight, training to fight the angels his whole life and wanting nothing to do with anyone else who wasn't a pilot. And having a package swimming with sons and daughter ready to take up the mantle and be the next generation of pilots for the EVA. To give his whole existence up only for the EVA and whoever stood at his side.

Her face burned and her maidenhood quivered as another nerve racking and embarrassing thought entered her mind, 'so big… but how much semen can he make…? How much would shoot out… I bet he could just flood my womb and pussy with these things, but I don't want to get pregnant… but what would it feel like?' she idly wondered.

She continued to caress him, but he was still so soft, his dick waving around and limply following her touches molding quickly into however she gripped him. He broke off the kiss and raised himself above her with his knees that were on either side of her. The tip of his tongue hanging out with a small string of her saliva on it, she saw it slowly retreat into his mouth leaving that string along his lips.

She was still on her back but to her, it looked as if he was retreating, his face red and heaving with either exhaustion or pent-up feelings of frustration or something else. Asuka couldn't help it but feel that insecure part of her flare up, looking away she began to panic internally and wonder if he didn't think she was attractive, wasn't desirable that she wasn't worthy.

She didn't know why but now… with him pulling away from her she was starting to feel the same empty feeling of failure she felt whenever she pulled last during a synch test, but more so back when she tried to bond with unit 06 and was rejected. She heard the light rustling of clothing and saw him work his boxers off, standing up before kneeing down beside her, there it was hanging limply but so thick in front of her face. She could see his face and ears start to burn a brighter shade of red than Unit 02 as his eyes looked away from her.

"Um… Asuka… could you… could you…?"

She felt her ego start to burn slightly as a small prideful smile came over her face, she couldn't resist it, but she just had to say it. "C'mon… you know what you want. You can tell me, right?"

"I want… you to suck my dick, Asuka."

She closed her eyes and wrapped her hand around it bringing it to her lips she began to kiss the head and wrap her tongue in circles around it, swirling and covering it with her hot sticky saliva, she could hear him start to gasp and moan as she began to stroke his member, soon only the soft noise of skin on skin could be heard in her ears.

She twisted her body, rolling over to face him, she looked up at him and saw his eyes shut as he leaned back enjoying the stratification of having the ace pilot suck his dick, but she would be lying if she said she wasn't enjoying it too, feeling its warmth in her face and it raw slightly salty taste.

Positive that he wasn't watching her she slipped a hand down to the front of her shorts, popping the small button at the top she pulled them down around her thighs along with her underwear. Slipping that hand between her legs she began to rub out the fire that had been building up in her crotch, she let a small moan that began to vibrate her mouth and lips.

Just then she gasped out gagging softly as she felt his cock inside her mouth begin to twitch and pulse, getting hard and growing in size slowly slipping down her throat. Its heat, smell and taste began to intensify, an overwhelming sense of happiness and energy began to override her mind as she doubled her efforts, not only bobbing her head up and down the extra inches he had gotten but also sucking and licking every inch that he had grown because of her.

Just feeling it reach its full potential felt like a compliment, like it was proof of her being worthy, a gushing grin worked its way on her face as she felt its pulsating warmth throughout her face.

"Ooohhh my gooddd." She crooned as her knees tightly rubbed against each other with her hand trapped in between, she finally felt like she could get a true feel for its size. Wrapping her lips tightly around it she pulled her head back, her lips leaving with a tight suction cup like noise popping off.

There it was, slowly rising and resting in front of her she felt her chest burn as she saw the bluish veins that had been slowly rising and pulsing all around it, biting her lip seeing the cause for that nice, ribbed sensation she was feeling.

Taking it back in her mouth she doubled her efforts bobbing her head and using her tongue to draw long strokes and circles around the thick shaft sucking the air from the inside of her mouth until she was tightly around it. "Ahh, ahh, ahh!"

He began to moan louder and louder, "Asuka! Asuka! Asuka!" he cried, she felt his hands grip the sides of her face and begin to pull her up and down on it faster and faster, face fucking her roughly. She began to rub her spot vigorously trying to keep in pace, she felt her lungs burn for air and her face burn hot. Her hand flew furiously down the shaft pulling his skin back until the crown of his cock was fully exposed causing him to cry out in a mix of pain and pleasure, she kept staring up at him with his eyes shut as he kept gasping her name out, then she could feel his cock start to thicken and grow stiff just before it began to twitch, she pulled it out and stretched her tongue out.

Letting the red head rest on her tongue she gripped him tightly as she stroked out the seed from his balls just then she felt it twitch in her hand and closing her eyes she felt strands of thick semen shoot out in small ropes covering her face and lips, a nice and heavy puddle of it landed on her tongue and at the back of her throat. It was such a strong and salty taste she couldn't describe it, but it overwhelmed her senses as she tightly closed her mouth feeling her cheeks well up with his semen. She let her eyes flutter shut as she swallowed the large amount of seed, feeling the hot and slaty liquid go down her throat, she licked her lips slowly trying to get any remnants.

She eyed Nathan who had collapsed on his side, panting heavy, he was eyeing her back with a small smile on his redden face, a look of pure infatuation with eyes that locked on to hers then moving down she saw his eyes moving down to her spot, she felt her eyes widen in alarm at him seeing her bare maidenhood.

The small patch of half developed red hairs that sprouted around her pussy like a tiny fan, how it was already glistening and quivering from just sucking him off, she shut her eyes and covered her face up with the teal shirt hoping he wouldn't say anything, rubbing her face clean she hoped he would just leave.

But then she felt a small whimper escape her lips as she looked down, she saw that he had moved in closer and his head was inches away from her crotch, his slow hot breaths ticking her hairs that prickled up on end, her stomach felt hot and twisted in knots as he began to explore the area with his fingers lightly touch and rubbing the special spot. "Mhmmnn!"

She threw the dirty shirt away and covered up her mouth with both hands, her legs were shaking beyond her control as she felt him stretch her thick unbroken pussy lips apart and looked down at the untouched pink flesh. "Don't do that… it's so embarrassing if you look at it like that." She whimpered out in a wavering voice as she felt a curious finger start to thumb the small thick fleshy bean, her eyes widening her teeth biting into lip, not wanting to let her inner voice escape and let him know that he had found her clit.

"But… it's so beautiful Asuka. So pink… squishy and… it's all yours." He said in an almost hypnotic like tone as he let out a small moan, she felt his tongue lick slowly across pulling her hairs back and forth, sliding in between her folds, flicking her clit before teasingly darting into her unbroken tunnel and then quickly out to savor each and every slick part of her.

"Ahhh!"

"You taste so good, Asuka!" she whimpered out and felt both embarrassed but pleased by his compliment as he continued to lick her and when she felt his whole mouth go over her precious spot and greedily suck and tongue it, lapping over every ounce of slick she was producing she thought her heart would explode as she felt her head tilt back and her hips grind into his face, just then she felt something slip into her, "Gyaaah." She moaned looking down and seeing him with his tongue on her clit and a finger sliding in and out of her slowly, touching and rubbing every spot of her insides before she felt him curl his finger inside her and make a come-hither motion.

Just then she began crying out in pleasure as she felt cramps in her calves and her whole body burn up with electrical energy as her heart began to race, she felt her insides start to spasm and twitch violently. She felt her insides spasm and grip his finger just before she felt a hot sticky liquid shoot out from deep in her womb.

He was making her feel so good, her heart felt like exploding but at the same time a small part of it hurt and felt so heavy with this love and affection, like a star going supernova where it weighed more than anything she could imagine before it imploded and became a blackhole sucking up everything in its grasp.

And just like a blackhole, Asuka wanted everything right now he had to give her, he was doing so much right now and making her feel so good her fiery nature sprang to life and had her thinking that she wasn't going to let him win, she was going ot give him a night he wouldn't forget.

She looked over lightly huffing for air lying in the afterglow and saw his that he was hard once again smiling she reached out and began to stroke it underneath once again, seeing the bluish green veins popping up and his bright red head. She gave it a small kiss and lick savoring the pre-cum that it was leaking out already, sucking it slowly and letting her tongue dance around it. Once she had her taste and was sure he was at full mast once again she released him and reached over lightly touching his face and chin directed his gaze towards her eyes.

She only had two words for him, "I'm ready." She said her eyes shining ready and wanting to feel more of his affections and wanting to feel both of them give themselves fully to one another. "You sure?"

With a simple nod Asuka had him laying atop her between her spread legs, with her arms at her side she looked up at him, enjoying the slight nervous and eager look he had on. She looked down to see him griping his cock with one hand prodding gently at her lips, rubbing up and down letting her folds wrap around him. Both of them letting their soft moans mold into one noise, "You ready?" he asked moving one arm at her side, "Yeah…" she replied in a gentle and trusting voice.

"Just let me know if it hurts too much."

Asuka watched as with one hand around his cock he pushed it in between her folds and pressed forward with both arms now on either side of her, she lightly gripped his biceps and gave a nod before her mouth went wide giving out a moan of pleasure and pain feeling him enter her with the entire length of his cock, she felt her tight closed off walls be torn apart as a hot and stiff presence filled up that empty spot.

Through watery half shut eyes she saw Nathan with his own eyes shut and twin streams of tears slowly flowing from his eyes, looking down at her huffing and shivering, Asuka felt a hot sensation slowly seep from around their united skin, he had taken her virginity.

"How does it feel? You're not moving." She asked her voice fluttering still not use to the slightly painful sensation, but it felt nice, her head felt a mix of both hot, heavy and fuzzy.

"It feels amazing Asuka, its sooo warm, squishy and wet. Sorry, I'll start moving."

She saw him lick his lips then slowly start to move his hips, she moaned out as she felt his whole length start to move in and out of her letting her tight unbroken walls shut before pulling them apart again, feeling her bumpy imperfect walls wrap around him.

"Oh my god! Asuka it's so amazing, god this is amazing! Asuka! Asuka!" he moaned out as he kept up his steady rhythm pulling out to the tip of his cock before driving himself back into her, Asuka moaned out in response feeling him hot dick rub his insides and opening her eyes she saw him crawling further up her body pulling her hips up above her head, she could feel his dick bending deep inside her rubbing the back of her, prodding the end of pussy ready to enter her womb.

Looking at him the two pilots met eyes and Asuka felt the small amounts of tears that were flowing from his eyes fall on her face, there was something so gentle and loving about his eyes that was making her heart ache. Soon she felt tears of her own start to flow, letting go of his arms she wrapped her own arms around his neck pulling him closer, sticking out her tongue.

Once he saw this, he leaned over still thrusting his hips into her, feeling her wrap her legs around his hips he gripped one of her hands interlocking fingers as he wrapped his tongue around hers stroking it and feeling it fight against his own for dominance, kissing her roughly and in a fever gripped passion. He turned his focus into hugging her tightly wanting to feel more of her body not only her wet and squishy fresh insides but also feel her wrapping her body around him and just as if she knew it, he felt her legs wrap tighter around his waist pulling him in deeper.

"More! More! More! I still haven't felt good enough yet!" she cried out to him," I want more of you too, Asuka!" he gasped out in response. Asuka's mind was a blur of motions as their bodies seemed to move of their own accord, wrapping themselves around each other in any position they found themselves in as long as they didn't separate from each other's hips.

From whether it was Asuka's face pushed to the ground with her butt in the air and her hips roughly held by Nathan who humped her from the back, a small fleshly pwapping noise as his balls slapped his own flesh and the wet schlocking as her pussy greedily ate his dick.

The noise made Asuka's face turn a bright shade of red it was so embarrassing hearing her body make those noises, and they just seemed to make him pump into her more furiously and when he started to rub her clit, she found herself grinding her hips with manic fury into his body wanting to feel more of him.

Asuka felt herself coming constantly, her squishy and wet insides clenching down on his cock tightly as clear sticky fluid squirted down, making her insides even wetter allowing him to slip further inside her. But it wasn't enough she could feel him fighting back the urge for him to shoot out his load into her, but she wanted to share this moment with him she wanted to look into his eyes.

And it seemed that he wanted that too, with him resting on his back and her knees around his waist she found herself making waves with her hips as he tightly gripped her butt cheeks, digging his fingernails into the soft and squishy flesh as he spread her cheeks apart and kneaded them in circles using them to pull her deeper on his dick. Asuka could feel her back arching as she moved her hips and deep inside her she felt his dick start to stiffen and slowly twitch, "Fuck! Asuka, I- I- I- can't hold back."

"Just a little more, just a little more!" she cried out, fueled by a drunken lust, she could feel another orgasm working its way up, now putting all her weight on him. Pinning him to his back she arched her butt up as he began to rapidly pump away at her, his hands gripping tightly onto her butt, rubbing the soft mounds as they came down with her pussy swallowing up his dick. She wrapped her arms around his head pulling his face into her arm pit, she could feel her insides tightening up and draining her of strength for the last time already she felt so burned out like embers, but she wanted him to solely think of her from now on.

Her heart started to race as his cock finally penetrated her womb and almost as if he knew it his pumping rapidly increased and just as he began to fuck her womb from her lips she began to cry out, "Ich komme! Ich Komme! Ich Komme!"

"Wha- wha- wha-?" he began to ask.

"I'm cumming! I'm cumming!" her gasps turning to cries of pleasure as her spot burned brighter as more slick began to coat his dick and gush from her insides.

She shut her eyes as he began to cry out to her, "Asuka I'm gonna cum!"

She wanted this feeling to last forever, being held and wanted, feeling another heartbeat that had its own unique sound for her, having someone give their love. Asuka shut her eyes, for a split second she saw nothing but darkness and then it was like her mind was playing a movie or just showing her random images and scenes, they felt so real as if she was remembering a life that she might have had the chance to live. Or one that might have happened at some other point in time.

There she was back in Germany, back before she was selected to be a pilot, mama was still alive, and her dad still loved her. There she was, little Asuka walking around her mansion's backyard that may have well been a botanical garden. Across the lake between her and her neighbors house on the dock she could see the figure of a small boy sitting at the edge, and behind him back at the other older more run-down gothic looking mansion where lines of moving trucks.

Workers in bright orange jumpsuits running back and forth, scurrying like ants carrying furniture and boxes quickly into the house. Eventually slowly the trucks started to pull away and disappear until what looked like to be a couple walking around the property came up to the boy and had him follow them back up to the house.

She didn't know how many hours she spent just watching that boy sit quietly and alone on the dock but soon enough, she could hear her own mother's voice calling out to her.

When she finally did arrive back, her father and mother were already changed and dressed nicely with a fancy looking basket of gifts in hand, they were forcing her along to meet up with the new neighbors. She was defiant at first, stamping her feet and yelling about how she didn't want to meet any new stupid adults but once they mentioned that it was the family across the lake with the boy… something about that changed her mind and had her willingly going along.

It was a strange kind of dream or vision, Asuka could see her younger self walking along with her parents but there was no way she could interact with anything other than just to be a bystander watching this odd change in time unfold.

She knew who the strange boy was the moment she saw him, the dirty almost nappy way his hair sat, the thick black glasses and the birthmark over his eye. It was no one other than the sixth pilot, Nathan.

While the adults talked through the threshold of the door Asuka stood between the two of her parents, eyes narrowed staring down the boy who hid behind the legs of his mother tightly clutching onto them, once the grownups had finished their talk, Nathan scampered away up the stairs to one of the many floors of his new home, a small distant door slam echoed through the house with his parents apologizing for their son's shyness.

The next images ran through her mind like a flood, since both of their parents happened to work for NERV, it seemed like they were forced to spend most of their time together, she preferred to get out and play actually enjoy life and do things.

He seemed to just want to run away to his room and read or hop on his video game system and avoid everyone and her, most of the time he spent his trying to avoid her. But there were sometimes that he seemed eager to her visits especially on the nights when their parents would work late at the facility leaving the two of them alone to the company of the help. But even on those nights when they were forced to be looked after by babysitters and the working staff of the houses, they didn't really seem to do much together. And he would spend a majority of the time stealing glances at her with a funny nervous look before looking away once she noticed him start to steal glances of her.

And it seemed that his small chest would start to rapidly sink and his face flush slightly whenever he did look at her, but even if they did nothing at all or if Asuka did her own thing while he silently watched or sat nearby, he would often give a small smile almost unseeable. But the grown dreaming Asuka felt somewhere in her heart that that small smile meant that he was… almost happy, happy just to be around her and in her presence. Even if it meant doing nothing at all and merely watching her, or having her bark orders at him to do something with her he was just happy being around her even if it meant doing nothing at all just being around one another was enough.

But even at their fancy school he seemed to always be alone, sitting at the back of the class and staring out the window, and one day at recess she saw the younger Asuka watching Nathan who sat alone in a sandbox reading a thick book ignoring everything around him until a group of bullies came up behind him and dumped a bucket of sand on his head before pushing him in the pit. No one else did a thing as the group of five continued to bully the lone boy, snapping his glasses and ripping the book into pieces as he sat there crying.

Asuka could feel her blood start to boil at watching this group of nobodies, bully someone who they should have been groveling to. Just then the younger child Asuka strode across the playground with napalm in her eyes, until she reached the group and swiftly kicked one of them in the crotch making him keel over crying out.

Before the others had a chance to react, she threw clumps of sand into the eyes of the bullies and repeated the same treatment until they were all on the ground crying out for their mommies, then grabbing Nathan roughly by his arm pulled him away from the sandbox and back to the school.

His crying may have gotten annoying if she didn't feel so angry at the stupid kids and so heartbroken just by looking at him. He didn't stop even as she dressed his jacket on him and pulled his backpack over his short and skinny arms, then stringing him along by his hand walked him all the way back home. Not bothering to look back even as the staff yelled at the two of them to come back to the school, but young Asuka didn't pay any attention to the stupid grown-ups who just sat by and did nothing, she instead left during the middle of the day taking the future pilot back to her home.

Softly muttering to him about how he should have beat up all the boys and how he shouldn't be crying, but eventually the younger Asuka gave up on her lecture as she pulled the young Nathan into the kitchen as she grabbed a mass of wet paper towels to clean off his face and head. And then once there wasn't a single grain of sand on his head she made him that small comforting meal of apples and peanut butter and the two of them ate late into the night until her nanny came home.

From that day on in this fantasy world, it was as if they were inseparable whether it was some obligation from her to protect him or him viewing her as some kind of savior, she didn't know but just that simple act of protecting him made an unlikely friendship blossom between them.

As they grew older, they'd spend more time together at one another's houses, trying to do anything and more often than not doing things to get into trouble but things all changed when Asuka jumped from middle to college and was enrolled into the EVA program, she spent more time away from home and him. He eventually stopped going to school and just did everything from home on his computer, she'd almost never see him outside his house so to make up the missed opportunities they had she would sneak over to his house in the middle of the night.

Climbing up to his window on the third floor where they would quietly just sit on his bed watching movies, playing video games or sometimes just sleeping above the covers back-to-back, it seemed like they never dated or did anything close to it but they each were the only friend the other had.

Then one day… one night when she snuck over to see him, the house was empty, and he wasn't there. Feeling hurt and betrayed she left, the next night she returned nothing the same played out for the next night, she wondered if he had moved away and just didn't tell her but then one day while she was trying to sleep at home, she got a text message from him saying that he was finally home and that he had been in America on business… NERV business.

And that he needed to talk to her.

When she arrived, the window was already open and he was sitting on his bed, the room mostly empty and when she asked what the big deal was with not telling her anything about where he was, all he could do was solemnly tell her that he was selected to be the sixth child and that he was being called to America to pilot Unit 06 and… that there wouldn't be a chance that he'd be coming back.

Asuka looked like the age she was about now, she just silently sat there in disbelief next to him mouth agape and eyes wide, both of them on the same life path yet on different corners of the earth. Possibly never to see each other again, then he started to cry, about leaving and being afraid of it, about dying and fighting whatever the EVAs were built for.

She hated when he cried if it was anyone else, she couldn't stand it but with him it just made her sad, she tried comforting him but she just couldn't will herself to do it, the only friend she had for almost her whole life and now she was losing him.

They found themselves looking into one another's eyes, not saying anything almost as if they were trying to remember each other's faces. Maybe there was a reason why they never needed anyone else growing up, then she saw him lean in forward slowly at first then Asuka saw this other version of herself lean into him as well until their lips connected and they ended up kissing.

With their arms around one another, the pair rolled all over the mattress on the floor, both their naked bodies intertwined together as they kissed every inch of each other and while Nathan's member disappeared into Asuka's maidenhood. The pair made love all night until they collapsed from exhaustion falling asleep in one another's arms and then once day break came, they bide each other goodbye, and he left.

Years flew by in seconds and Asuka seemed to age up to her early twenties, by then she had been ordered to Tokyo to join Shinji and Rei, but when she got there on her first solo tour of the facility, she caught a glimpse of him at first, out of the corner of her eye like a ghost. But she was sure of herself who it was, running after the small three-person group she saw Nathan being led by Misato and Ritsuko, her heart fluttered at seeing him and before her rational mind could stop her, she called out for him and ran up.

But when she saw him, she was taken aback and felt her heart flutter, this version of him was about the same age as her early twenties, he was still slim but even under his loose clothing she could see the outline of muscle on him. And unlike their grammar and middle school days, he was the taller one of the two now, almost by a full head.

This dream Asuka put on her sweet girl act for the two older women and stole her friend away, saying how only she was the right girl to show him the way around things and how they had so much to catch up on. And as soon as they were alone the eager and young couple ran off, finding an empty storage closet they kissed wildly and hungrily all those feelings love they had yet to explore flooding their minds and senses.

She pulled off her school outfit while he pulled his pants down then lifting her skirt, she gripped the shelves for balance and security while he lifted up her butt tightly gripping her cheeks as he entered her again, her calves resting on his shoulders while he fucked her standing up letting gravity pull him in deeper inside her body.

Both of them crying out in pleasure to each other, saying how badly they missed and wanted each other for so long, how they never loved or touched another person in the years that they had been separated.

And just like now he finished inside her leaving a thick clump of semen to flood her womb, then she saw flashes of them fighting and killing every single Angel, NERV only needed them, the doll and daddy's boy were just in the background but the two of them were the ultimate fighting force.

Then it finally happened they killed the last angel whatever it looked like she didn't care, all that mattered was she had him once again and he had her. That night they made love one last time before he proposed to her, life after that was boring for her… but still it had it merits.

Asuka had gotten a job as a scientist using her numerous degrees, meanwhile living off of the pensions and his inheritance Nathan had fallen into the duties of playing house husband.

She saw her older self-coming home to a panicking Nathan, one arm loaded with a crying child carrying a stuffed animal the other with a skillet rapidly cooking dinner for the bread winning wife.

But once she made herself known, his anxiety melted away and he met her with a glowing smile, the child with a red puffy face stopped crying and smiled brightly, its chubby cheeks puffing out as she cried out "Mama!" to Asuka.

Asuka would take her daughter in her arms and kiss her then her husband, and everything seemed happy and perfect, all he did was stare at her and whisper thank you with the most loving eyes she had ever seen.

Then it was the child's first day of school there she was standing in the back looking at the small girl wearing her mother's EVA clips in her hair introducing herself loudly and proudly to all the parents and children while Asuka recorded the historical evet, one hand on her already once again swollen belly. Meanwhile her angel fighting husband was in the small children's bathroom crying and throwing up from seeing his little baby girl having grown up so fast already.

Then once the couple left their child to a day of fun and learning, they made love like they used to when they were younger, crying out to each other and kissing every inch of skin.

Soon enough they had a total of four kids, four little annoying but loveable little shits that were the mixes of both of their parents' extremes. But Asuka felt a burning sense of pride and… true happiness in her heart seeing this play out in front of her and seeing how happy this older what if self of her was.

Then she saw the family on a picnic Asuka sat next to her older self, on a small hill under a tree caring to the small youngest baby who was wrapped up in a blanket hugged close to its mother chest, fat tiny hands reaching out for a finger that playfully touched its tiny nose.

It fussed until Asuka smiling and rolling her eyes, undid her sundress just a bit letting the baby feed from her breast, then she looked down at the hill and saw Nathan and the three other older kids playing catch. All four of them laughing and running around, Asuka felt her eyes start to sting watching this and yearning for it so badly wanting to feel this true happiness this other one of her was feeling but the sun was in her eyes, she couldn't fully see Nathan just his outline, but it didn't exactly look like him.

It was still the shadow of a grown man but… it just wasn't Nathan but there was something familiar about its shape.

Her eyes snapped opened just as she was on the verge of orgasm already, she felt her inner walls tightening and wrapping around his cock, the squishy walls with its tiny nubs being stimulated by the popping veins had her opening her mouth utter her final moans and wishes to Nathan. "Cum with me, cum with meeee!"

"Asuka, Asuka, Asuka… can I cum in you? Can I cum in your pussy?"

By now Asuka's rational mind was already too far flooded but also, she saw how happy she was in that dream world. The feeling of closeness, and unity she looked like she felt when he orgasmed in her. And the feeling of having that warm deposit of life and love be poured into her, that she was worthy enough in his eyes to fully accept his love and bear his child.

That if all else if they ended up having a child the only thing, he would want to do is stay with her and raise it with her, that he would stay by her side as long as they gave themselves fully to the other. If she could only get a fraction of the feeling dream Asuka, had she would do this as many times as it took to keep this feeling building up inside her. But there was something more to his eyes right then.

They still had that… vaguely blank empty look to them, but maybe because it was so dark Asuka was mistaking for being totally empty and dull like a doll's, but there was more to it. There was a yearning, and loving loneliness in them as if he was pleading with her to stay with him and exist in this moment, so they could share the feeling of one another's body and feelings so they could reaffirm that they were alive and indeed worthy and able to receive another person's loving embrace. But there was also a fire it seemed somewhere buried deep in him as if he recognized something in her that he wanted and he himself wanted to be something she wanted as if she was motivating him to be something or someone else.

Then she realized something… it wasn't just her that was now at this moment begging him to focus solely on her and give this feeling of warmth and love, to solely exist for her right now but now he was asking and begging for the same and that pleading lonely look in his eyes seemed to beg her to do the same with him and use him for whatever purpose she wanted.

And with a fluttering heart she realized that it was the same look he was giving to her in that strange dream world and that he wasn't entirely blank and empty, but he was more like something to be molded for whatever purpose she wanted. He was practically trying to tell her with his eyes and heart to give him a purpose to keep this fire in his chest going and she realized she could make him into anything she wanted. It was only the two of them now after all, who knows if Shinji would want to come back and when Rei would show back up again. From now on Tokyo, NERV and the world as a whole would have to rely solely on them as the two EVA pilots, she could make him into anything.

She could make him into the perfect partner and co-pilot, she could make him into her perfect pilot, everything she could ever want in another person that would be by her side and he would never argue with her, so as long as she didn't leave him alone. All he needed was her.

Wrapping her legs around his waist she pulled them back until he was atop her again and hooking her feet together pulled him in tighter and kissed him passionately their lips locked in together with one final thrust, she felt her body burn to embers, shudder and lock up until there was the total feeling of ecstasy and weightlessness as her whole body buzzed with electricity before going totally numb and she blacked out.

But not before feeling a thick twitching spurt of hot semen fill up her womb before leaking out of her twitching and burning womanhood, feeling him shudder and gasp in her arms, his whole body vibrating with his heartbeat sending her his total love and affection deep in her body.

She had no idea how long she had been out but when her eyes fluttered open gently, she looked around still breathing heavy she saw a thin layer of sweat on her chest and in between her legs lay a small puddle of thick white semen, still slowly leaking out from her entrance, smiling she touched her belly still feeling the load of love residing within her.

Turning around she saw Nathan lay back still lightly gasping for air, one arm behind his neck the other over his chest. She rolled over to him thanking him silently for still being there, wrapping herself up she heard him slowly stir, "So… how was it?" she asked hoping for a good answer.

She heard him swallow and lick his lips lightly, he looked around blinking before answering with, "Amazing… it was amazing Asuka. I- I don't remember the last time I really felt like that." He rolled over and got face to face with her, she lightly touched his face not saying anything but the look they shared made Asuka feel as if now they were more deeply connected on some level that words or maybe even feelings themselves could not fully describe.

"Looks like you've made a mess, you'd better clean my sheets later on." She playfully teased him, "Ugh… fine. But later, not tonight… too tired." He smiled in a chuckling wheeze.

"Hey… you doing anything tomorrow?" she asked wryly.

"Uh- I was going to go topside. I dropped my MP3 in the bath and I kinda want to get a new one."

"Mind if I go with?"

"Why would you want to go with me?"

She pulled his hands close to her face, letting her lips rest on his fingers. "You're not all that bad being around with and you know the best pilots really should stick together besides maybe… we could do this again."

"Really?" he gasped out a small boyish smile filled with excitement grew on the corners of his lips, already he was looking forward to being with her and bonding fully again. "Yeah, besides I've got to get some things."

"What kind of things?"

She snickered lightly, thinking how he was still kind of dumb or at least bad at reading some cues, "Well we can't do this every night right? Soon enough I'll have a little pilot of my own in here." She said pulling his hand over her stomach and there it was the wide eye 'oh shit' look she thought looking at his face as he slowly realized what he did.

"But it's alright… today should be a safe day for me but, I can probably buy some pills somewhere it's either that or we use condoms, but I don't think you'd be up for that right?"

He let out a half-hearted nervous laugh, "Yeah… I guess we should be careful, right? Don't think we'd like too many people in our business."

She gave a nod, they laid there in the afterglow of their orgasms just looking at each other until he spoke up again, "Hey… you mind if I sleep here with you? And maybe going on? It's just after this… I feel better and safer… around you."

She only responded with a smile and rolled over, wrapping his arms around her she pulled herself in to his chest until she could feel his heart beating through her back, and once he pulled the blankets over their naked bodies, she began to feel the comforting warm roll over her body.

"Hey."

"What is it dummy?"

"You think… next time you could wear your clips or something like that?" he asked nervously.

"Heh, heh, heh… you're such a perv… maybe." She playfully teased.

"And one more thing?"

"What is it?" Asuka could feel her face burn from all these requests from a boy who it seemed previously couldn't even stand being around here, now just seemed totally captivated by her. "Maybe while we do it too… could you also… speak in German sometimes?"

"Warum, macht es dich an?" she asked.

"Guess I'll take that as a yes." He said almost dreamily.

She felt his breathing start to slowly wind down, until a mumbled, "G'night Asuka…" entered her ear, then his soft breathing tickling her neck and the slow and rhythmic beating of his heart began to lull her asleep reminding her of the noises of an ocean and its slow crashing waves. "Good night…" she whispered feeling her body burn with happiness smiling as she enjoyed the heartbeat's vibrations like a metronome slowly hypnotizing her until her eyes closed.

And then she fell asleep slowly and then quickly at first listening and feeling the heartbeat that was only beating for her at that moment, its rhythm and vibrations reminding her of only one other heart that had that same energy and power over her to calm her mind and body and it was the first every heartbeat she felt and the one she wished she could hear once more… her mother's.