AN – Thank you again for the reviews! To Peggy – I promise they will talk soon, maybe like 2-3 more chapters? To the other guest reviewer. Please continue to pick up on my grammar mistakes! It's the only way I will learn. I do not mind at all. Thank you!

Disclaimer – Again VA belongs to Richelle Mead, but I guess we all know that?

This chapter is the same as the previous just in DPOV This was only meant to be short but apparently I go off on tangents.. This is only proofread and edited by me, so no doubt mistakes.

Chapter 5 – The Lie

DPOV

''Rose. That was because I'm your mentor. You're going to be my guarding partner. Of course, I'm going to want you safe.'' I looked up at her then, she was looking at me with those big eyes and I knew. I knew she wasn't going to let this go. I knew what I had to do, and I hated what I was about to say. ''I'm not interested in you in that way. I called you Roza because I was caught up in the moment. That's all it was. A moment, that I regret deeply. It only happened because of the spell. Do you understand that?'' As I said those words, I saw the hurt I had inflicted run across her face. That hurt was reflected in my own chest, my heart breaking at the lie I was telling. It's a good job I had so many years of hiding my expression or she would have been able to see the lie.

''Right. Got it. Just another notch. Completely understood. You got your fix so your golden. I thought I saw something that night, in your eyes. But I guess that was just the charm as well, creating something that wasn't really there.'' She replied in a shaky voice. I flinched away from her words. I couldn't believe she thought that, but then I hadn't given her any reason to not think that. She was right, she had seen something, she'd seen the love I had been hiding, from her and myself. I could see unshed tears forming in her eyes. Then she turned and ran out of the gym. It took everything in me to not go running after her. To undo the hurt I had so clearly caused her. To tell her the truth like Mama said I should.

I sat there in shock, staring at the door she'd walked out of. Hoping she'd come running back in and demand to know the truth, but she never did. She believed what I told her. I decided that I would move from the gym, head for a run around the ward lines so if anyone suspected Rose had missed training, I could use that as her cover, I wouldn't let her get into trouble. Running helped me to clear my head some but like with every run recently my thoughts were consumed by Rose. Today I was hoping the run would help clear my mind about what had just happened. To come to terms with what I'd just done. Pushing the one person I felt closest to away. It didn't. Hitting the showers after finishes up in the weight room after my run. I let a few tears out before wiping them and sliding my guardian mask firmly back in place in preparation for my shift.

Heading towards the main building to my first guarding duty of the day, I knew I'd see her again. Taking my spot at the back of the class and waited for the students to pile in. Slowly they all entered, followed by Stan. As the bell chimed, he called the class to attention and I sighed quietly to myself as Rose was late, I knew Stan would call her out on being late when she arrived.

As the class went on, Rose was still a no show. Drawing to a close and the class getting dismissed, I moved from my position. Deciding to try searching for her in the small break I had. Unfortunately, fate was not on my side. ''Belikov! Can I see you for a minute?'' Stan called from the front.

I walked towards him and waited for the students and other guardians to leave. Looking at him coldly until he continued. ''Do you happen to know why Hathaway wasn't in class today? Was she at training this morning?'' He asked is a snarky voice. I happened to have a suspicion as to why she wasn't in class today and it was most likely to do with me and what had gone down this morning.

''She came to training this morning but said she didn't feel right and I told her to take the day off.'' I lied while shrugging. ''I was going to come and talk to you after class and inform you, I'll sort it out with the office later.'' I couldn't let her get into trouble for this. Even if she wasn't skipping because of me, I'd still cover for her.

''Well, guardians don't get sick days in the real world'' he sniped back.

''Alto, all due respect. She's just been through a traumatic experience with the princess. Fought psi-hounds and is still recovering. She's allowed to have some time off to recover.'' I snapped back, turning and walking out of the room before he could say anymore. I'd never liked Stan, he called Rose out more than anyone for no reason other than to agitate her and get a reaction out of her, then he'd punish her for it. Why did he have it out for my Roza? As I turned to head out the bell rang again and I sighed heading to my next guarding post, which was a class with the Princess in. Hoping I'd catch a glimpse of Rose at Lunch.

I was stood in the cafeteria a few hours later, skimming over the heads of the students trying to find Rose. I checked the line and focused on her usual table where Eddie and Mason sat. I couldn't see her anywhere, so I headed towards the feeders in case she was there with Vasilisa. Spotting Vasilisa and Christian heading out of the feeder room as I approached but no Rose. When Vasilisa saw me. She turned to approach me. ''Guardian Belikov, have you seen Rose today? I've been calling her through the bond, but I haven't got anything back. I'm worried.'' She asked expectedly.

Now I was getting worried. This wasn't like Rose. Ignoring her best friend, her future charge was so unlike her. Especially missing meals was really unlike Rose, I'd watched her eat in awe at how much food she could put away. ''Sorry Princess, I haven't seen her since morning practice, she said she didn't feel right, so I told her to take the day off.''

''Oh, well if she attends evening practice can you tell her to come find me? Or at least let me know she's ok?''

''Of course, Princess.'' I nodded. Vasilisa and Christian headed over to sit with Eddie and Mason. I caught Masons brief questioning look turn to sadness. He must have asked where Rose was. I'd seen the way he hovered around her, flirting with her. It was clear he wanted more than friendship, but he didn't seem to take the hint from Rose that she just wasn't interested in him that way. I knew he shouldn't, but he infuriated me.

I had the afternoon off so went back to my dorm, awaiting the skype call with my family, seated at my desk with my laptop ready. My mind drifted towards Roza and where she could be. As soon as I was done here it would be time for training. I just hoped she would show up, if not I was going to look for her. I needed to check she was ok, even though in the back of my mind I knew she wasn't, nor should she be.

If I was going to be honest with myself. I already knew I was the shell of the man I use to be without the chance of being with Rose. I felt lost without her. Lost without the possibility of us ever having something and knowing she felt something for me was worse.

Being brought out of my thoughts by the calling sound from my laptop, I quickly answered with my greeting. We exchanged conversation back and forth in my native tongue. Telling them how I was doing with being in America and at the academy, and how everything was back home. I could feel Mamas eyes piecing me through the screen. I had been distracted since this call started. Eager to go to practice and see if Rose showed. I knew she could tell I wasn't right and eventually she barked orders to my sisters to leave.

''Dimka, what's wrong? Have you spoken with Roza?'' She quizzed.

I let my head fall in shame. ''Yes, Mama I did, but I didn't tell her the truth. I couldn't. Not after what I had done.''

''DIMKA!'' she chastised. ''What did I tell you the other day? Why are you blaming yourself?''

''I couldn't Mama. I can't face it. I hurt her. How can she be sure what she's feeling is real after this?''

Mama looked at me closely through the screen. ''What do you mean Dimka?'' my mother replied softly.

I sighed. I was going to have to tell her everything. ''She feels the same Mama or says she does. She said she wanted me even before the charm and it warmed my heart hearing her say those words.'' my mother gave me a hopeful expression which quickly faded as I continued. ''but then I told her...'' my voice started to shake ''I told her it was just the charm, that the charm made those feeling. That I don't feel that way and it only happened because of the charm. She stormed out of the gym this morning and no one has seen her since.''

''Dimka…'' Mama started but she was interrupted by the greying women beside her. My babushka, who had been quiet throughout the call.

''Boy. You are a fool. How could you do this. How could you not trust what she is saying is the truth. Believe in what is said to you. Stop torturing yourself and her, you'll both be happier and safer together.''

''Babushka, it's not that simple.''

''Oh, it is. It is that simple. But you my boy are making it difficult. Now go. Go find her and protect her. She has trying times ahead; she's going to need your strength and support. She is in more danger than she realises, and you will help ground her.'' She says sceptically.

''What does that mean?'' but I was too late. Babushka had already terminated the call. For once I wish she would just give me the information I needed.

As I entered the gym later that day and waited in hope that Rose would attend evening practice. I knew it was useless. No one had seen her all day. She hadn't attended classes. If she didn't show up, I was going looking for her. I'd wait for half an hour and that was all. Then I'd make my way over to her dorm. I needed to make sure she was ok.

I checked my watch again and sighed. Rose hadn't shown. As I left the gym, I shut the lights off. No one usually comes in after us. Making my way across campus towards the Dhampir dorms I struggle with what I could say. How I could explain to Rose why I am there. The easiest way is to scold her for not attending classes and especially practice without a valid excuse, but I'm sure I'm the reason for her non-attendance today so that didn't seem fair. As I climb the stairs to her room, I was still none the wiser of what to say.

Reaching her door, I knocked and waited. No answer.

I knocked again, louder. Waited a few minutes still no answer. I looked down the hall and saw the bathroom door wide open so she couldn't be in there. Pulling my master key out my pocket I unlocked her door. I knocked again as I pushed the door open ''Rose, it's me. Are you ok?'' I announced so not the startle her. I again received no answer and was met by a deafening silence. I looked around her empty room. Running my hands through my hair in frustration. Where could she be? I noticed the tear stained pillow laying on her bed and my heart broke further at the evidence of what was no doubt my doing. My words had done more damage than I thought.

My mind raced, remembering what babushka had said earlier. I felt an urgency within me now. She was rarely wrong about these things. What if she had done something to hurt herself? I would never think Roza would do anything like that, but what babushka had said had me scared. I turned and raced out of her room, storming down the dorm stairs and out of the main doors as fast as I could racing over towards the heart of campus. Determined to find her now. I noticed Kirova walking around the common and decided to risk asking her if she had seen Rose.

''Headmistress Kirova'' I called. Jogging towards her. ''Have you happened to see Rose around? I need to tell her of a change in schedule for training tomorrow.'' I lied.

''Yes, I have. I just saw her in the admin building. She was heading down to the cells. Victor had been asking to see her. Said he had information on Vasilisa that he would only share with Rose.'' My blood ran cold at that. She was with Victor. He could tell her the truth.

''How long ago?'' I asked, agitation clear in my voice.

''Around 20-30 minutes.'' She shrugged. ''I'm hoping she'll come find me and tell me what she has found out. I'm about to head back to my office now.''

''I'll walk with you, and head to the cells as well.'' I replied, starting to walk briskly towards the admin building. Once we entered, I bid farewell and turned heading towards the cells entrance. Halting when I saw the guardian at the desk bleeding from a wound on his neck. My senses immediately snapped into focus. Reaching over to check for a pulse I sighed in relief when I felt a very faint one. I reached for my phone and called it through to Alberta. Informing her I was proceeding into the cells she agreed and said she'd be here in a few minutes.

I entered the cells at the far end, shocked at the scene in front of me. Victor was in his cell, tears rolling down his face reaching towards something. I turned slowly and saw Natalie, with what appeared to be a silver stake lodged in her chest. I walked a few steps, unholstering my own stake and clutching it in my hands as my eyes darted around the remainder of the room. Taking in the sight before me. Not far from Natalie was a guardian that I'd seen around, his neck twisted at an odd angle and a bite mark to his neck. I could tell he was dead from this far away as he was deathly pale. When my eye rested on the one person I was looking for, my heart stopped in my chest.

Laying to the side, near the wall was Rose, shallow breathing clutching her side, her clutch weakening every second. What was the most alarming was the small amount of blood collecting on the floor near her head. As my eye rested on her head and I saw her eyes shut as I took off running at full speed down the hallway, holstering my stake. As I reached her, I bent down shouting at her to stay awake, but it was falling on deaf ears, she'd already passed out. Her breathing was so shallow for a split second I thought she was dead, until I focused my eyes on her chest and saw the gentle rise and fall.

I quickly passed my hands over her body, checking for other injuries. When I found none except for what felt like broken ribs I lifted her into a cradle against my chest. Standing and turning to face the exit I saw Alberta coming down the corridor at lightning speed. ''She was here when I got here. Natalie and the guardian were already dead. I'm taking her to the infirmary.'' I shouted as I passed her. Not stopping to get further orders. I heard her shout she'd meet me there when she could. I knew she would be worried. Rose was like a daughter to her.

As I ran, I whispered everything to Rose I wish I could say when she was alert. Told her the truth. Told her how truly sorry I was for what happened and that I wished we could be together. As we entered the infirmary doors, just before I started shouting for help, I whispered the words I'd never get to say, but would mean for the rest of my life. ''I love you, Roza.'' I whispered into her ear, and then chaos erupted as I alerted the infirmary staff. Dr Olendzki came running out with an amused look on her face before she focused on Rose. Checking her injuries as she wheeled her into a room. I stood out of the way in the corner. Waiting anxiously for an update.

After an hour, the good doctor walked back into the room, Rose following still unconscious. Alberta had joined me a few moments before. The doctor came over to us.

''So, she's ok. She has a minor concussion and I've had to put some stitches into the wound on her head and strap her broken ribs, but she should come around fully shortly. She came around when she was in the scan and getting stitches, mumbling incoherently but drifted off again.'' She said, looking at me curiously as she said incoherently, a question in her eyes. ''She's probably exhausted from everything that has happened the last few days, which is why she is still out.'''

''That's a relief, are you sure you don't need to keep her here? She must have hit her head pretty hard.'' Alberta replied.

''It looks worse than it is. There is no damage and you know how much she hates being here.'' She muttered just as we heard a groan coming from the bed.

''Oh, come on! Again? I haven't even been away a week yet.'' Rose exclaimed causing a pointed look from the doctor and us all chuckling in the corner. Alerting Rose she wasn't alone. ''What?'' she glared at us, annoyance clear on that pretty face of hers. Dr. Olendzki explained to Rose why she was laughing as I took her in, not focusing on what the doctor was saying. Her eyes drifted to mine, but she averts hers quickly when she sees me watching, but I saw the hurt still evident in them.

I was brought back when I heard Alberta saying my name ''Yes, that's fine, but you heard what the Doctor said. Dimitri, do you mind taking Rose over for me please? And staying with her for the next few hours'' Alberta asked.

''Oh no, that's ok. I can take myself.'' Rose replied quickly. It hurt how quickly she refused to be around me but again I shouldn't have expected anything other.

''Rose, you heard what the doctor said. You aren't to be left alone. Guardian Belikov will take you over. He can just stay outside the Princesses room and check on you regularly. End of discussion.'' She said sternly. I saw her sag against her bed in defeat and nod in agreeance.

As soon as Alberta left the room, I was itching to comfort her. We were alone and she'd just made her first kill, she was bound to feel something about that. I just didn't know how to start after this morning. That charm had made everything so much more complicated. I'd do anything to go back. According to Alberta, Victor had been shouting at them to arrest Rose for killing his daughter in cold blood, but at closer inspection of the dead guardian we could tell the injuries were sustained by a strigoi and that Rose must of killed Natalie to protect herself. This was confirmed when the guardian at the front desk woke confirming Natalie was strigoi. Earning herself her first molnija mark.

''Let's go then.'' I heard Rose say, in a voice I never wanted to hear again, she sounded so cold towards me.

I continued staring at her. When I saw her heading towards the door, I called out to her, ''Rose, wait. Let's talk. you've been through a lot today'' I flinched when I remembered just how much she'd been through today. Not just in the past few hours, which was mainly what I was referring to, I was trying to forget this morning. I could see she was torn; she didn't want to stay near me. ''We aren't leaving until you talk to me.'' I continued with a firm voice, not giving her the choice. She needed to talk about what just happened.

''Great so now you actually want to have a conversation with me.'' She bit back; her voice still cold causing me to flinch.

I sighed internally. ''I'm not talking about that.'' I took an inaudible breath in to steady myself and continued. ''We should talk about what happened in the cells. I know you was down there because Victor had information. Kirova found me after you went down there and I followed. I didn't want you to go through that alone…'' I didn't know why I lied about Kirova. Maybe I didn't want her to know how worried I was?

''Don't act like you care.'' She muttered. I stopped myself from flinching again at the last second. Oh, how I wish I could tell her how much I actually cared. Instead I continued, pretending I didn't hear the interruption.

''...whatever Victor told you, you can't believe a word he said.'' I was trying to cover my tracks. Enforce in her that she couldn't believe what he had told her if anything. ''You also just killed your first strigoi. Who was a friend of yours. You need to talk to someone about that. I can be that person, or you can find someone else who knows what it's like. But you should talk to someone.''

''I don't really know what I can say. I don't believe what Victor said.'' She had a sad glint in her eye as she said this. ''Except what he said about Lissa. He told me that I died in the car accident and Lissa revived me using spirit. It makes sense. Its why we are bonded.'' she shrugged, did she just say she died? I shuddered at the thought of never having met her. ''But anything else he said. I know he was lying about that.'' I cringed internally. He'd told her. Of course, he had, and she didn't believe him. I noticed her searching my eyes. Searching for any kind of emotion in them but all she was met with was the blank expression. She was good at reading me, but I had all my walls up right now. ''I don't know how to talk about this yet. I'm not ready. I need to process it first. Then when I'm ready I will.'' She continued.

I nodded in acceptance, telling her to promise me she'd talk to someone when she was ready. I turned to head towards the door, but she continued. ''I remembered what you said. When I was down there. I hesitated for a split second. But then I heard your voice in my head telling me not too. From one of our first training sessions remember? You asked me if I could kill someone I use to know? Well I guess I answered and passed that test hey?'' I was so proud of her in the moment. So happy she had taken what I had taught her and used it. It probably saved her life tonight. No matter how sad I was for her having to kill her friend. My training paid off and I was immensely relived that it did. Happy she survived. Shaking my head, I responded with only part of what I was thinking.

Once we got to Vasilisas dorm, she went inside. Telling the Princess the instructions and that I'd be just outside if anything happened. I wanted to be closer to Rose, after thinking I'd lost her. I wanted to accept the princesses offer when she offered for me to go in, but I didn't. I didn't think Rose wanted me there, so I settled to staying outside. I stayed for longer than I needed to, doing the checks I needed. I heard the girls talking. Picking up on some aspects of their conversation. When they started talking about the dance and the events of that night I stiffened when I heard Rose mention coming to get me, but she quickly skipped over it. Not mentioning anything that happened. I was plagued by a sudden sadness when I didn't hear her talking to her best friend about what happened. Had she taken what I'd said seriously and chosen to ignore what happened? My heart tugged in my chest at that thought, but I reminded myself why I did it and that I didn't deserve her after what I had done. I stayed longer than I should, well after the girls had gone to sleep. I crept into the room to do one last check on Rose without waking her. Brushing her hair away from her face and committing her peaceful face to memory. Even though I'd see her daily. I'd never be able to look at her properly again. Walking out of the room, whispering final words of love towards her.

I arrived back at my dorm and got ready for bed. Laying down I thought over the past few days while clinging to her pillow, it still smelt slightly of her.

I'd taken the last two days to decide what to do when we came to have the talk. I kept imagining telling her the truth and finding out she felt the same. Imagining holding her in my arms again and never letting her go but then that voice in the back of my head would creep in and remind me what I had done and that I didn't deserve her. The guilt would consume me again, like it continued to do every time I thought of Rose.

I took on ward duty, trading my shifts with other guardians to keep me far away from the campus. I didn't want to risk bumping into Rose until I knew what to say. I knew she was eager to talk to me. She proved as much as she demanded we talk as soon as she entered the gym this morning. By then, I knew what I had to do. I knew I had to make her believe the charm created those feelings. It was safer for her if she didn't know the truth. I couldn't hurt her again if she didn't know the truth.

She'd said the same thing as mama though, that is wasn't my fault. That I was being controlled as much as she was and for a moment I nearly slipped and told her the complete truth. I lost the composure and control I had and let my emotions show, I knew she'd seen them, I saw the twitch in her hand as she went to reach for me but thought better of it, then eventually reaching for me. That one touch sent the familiar shock of electricity through my body. I saw the hope leave her eyes when I told her it was all the charm with that one simple 'yes'. I also saw the shock when she realised, I knew she was a virgin.

I nearly took everything back as soon as she told me she wanted me, even before. I was so close to just taking it all back and giving in to my feelings. I wanted to. Oh, how I wanted to, but I couldn't. She couldn't see just how bad what I had done was. So, I forced myself to say things I would regret for the rest of my life. She was stubborn and I knew I'd hurt her. I didn't want to hurt her, but the alternative would hurt her more. This would wreck her reputation. Throughout the conversation I'd pushed her away because it was best for her. Never once taking into consideration my own feelings because they didn't matter. Her reputation would be ruined. She couldn't have a disgraced relationship; it would ruin her before she even started. She was better off without me.

After running through this morning, I tried sleeping but I just kept picturing her, lying on the ground, blood seeping from her wound. For a split second as I raced towards her, I thought I was too late. I thought I'd lost her without her knowing the truth of how I felt. I knew if I told her that she would expect something from me. I could see it in her eyes this morning. She had hope. Hope that I squished with my lies. I pride myself on never lying, but it was to protect her. Suddenly what my babushka said earlier rang in my ears. She is in more danger than she realises. I knew as soon as Kirova told me where she was what my babushka meant, just not to what extreme, but why can she not just tell me these things without the riddles. Maybe if I had gotten there sooner, Rose wouldn't of had to kill her friend and wouldn't have gotten injured. She knows how I feel. Why torture me even more, why not just come straight out and tell me what she has seen. I sighed in annoyance, turning over in bed.

Knowing with my racing thoughts I wouldn't be getting much sleep today. I just kept picturing Roza, seeing her face in my mind. Her broken expression from this morning. Her lying on the floor in the cells. And even though I know I shouldn't. I pictured her, here in my bed with me only a few nights ago moaning my name. Eventually with that memory running through my head I fell asleep. Dreaming of her and holding her, loving her. Protecting her like I always will, even from afar.

AN – I don't think I captured the Dimitri I wanted to in this chapter but I just couldn't get it right so decided to just post it. I don't think I'm going to ever be 100% happy with a chapter I post. Also, don't hate on me for Yeva, I couldn't think of anything (better) mysterious for her to say.. so had to settle with what I could think.

So I know in a previous chapter Rose was in Stans class at the end of the day the day before, and this chapter it's one of the first lessons but I just wanted Stans remark to Dimitri about why she wasn't in class and also in the UK, in school, classes were always mixed up on a daily basis, depending on the timetable. I'm not sure what they are like in the US.

On a positive note, only about 2-3 more chapter of angst for our beloved couple!

Random thought I've just had. In the books stakes are used to break the wards down so strigoi can enter. How come when the guardian come and go through the wards the same thing doesn't happen?...