Pairings are B/A, Buffy/Parker, W/O, X/Anya

-I'm really bad about reading chapters and wanting to make changes to them, so that's why I'll sometimes post a new chapter and edit an old one. It's not about changes in the plot as much as it is about making them a little easier to read.

Five and a half years Later:

"I don't want to go with her," the quiet hiss carried through the open window followed by Angel's much harder to make out response, and Buffy took a breath and rang the doorbell with trepidation before looking down at her son when it opened.

"Liam, would..." she broke off as he brushed past her, and she stared at the spot where he'd once been before looking over to where Angel was leaning against the wall. "Angel... I... um..." she took a breath as tears gathered. "One of the girls that works afternoons at the diner quit... and Walsh wants me to fill in for her," she lied. "Would it be okay if I take a rain check for a couple of weeks?

He looked at her with a shuttered expression before nodding, and she closed the door awkwardly behind her before moving down the sidewalk. "Liam," she called softly to the boy standing by her Jeep as she walked over to stand beside him. "Is it okay if I take a rain check? I've got to work and..." Buffy blinked at the smile he gave her. He never smiled at her like that. "Um... if you want we've got time to get a malt or a sandwich though," she stated quietly, "maybe spend an hour at the park."

"No," he told her as he started back toward Angel's house. "It's okay."

Buffy slid into the Jeep on autopilot and fought to feel nothing as she drove away. Liam was 6 now, almost 7, and she didn't know why Angel had decided to let her have him for one day a week, but she'd gratefully agreed when he'd suggested it a month ago. She'd hoped the extra time together would help them become closer, but it hadn't, instead, it had given Liam time to drive home the fact he didn't want anything to do with her.

She still loved them both, but there were times when she wished she didn't. Those were the times when the pain was greater than she could bear, and she fully accepted that Liam was Angel's, and Angel regretted ever having gotten involved with her. Tears spilled, and she took a deep breath and let them fall.

A few days later:

"Hey," Faith smiled at the blonde that slid up to the bar beside her. "Did you get the loan?"

"No." Buffy shook her head as she tied an apron around her waist. "They said I was too much of a risk, and in the future, I should look into better house insurance."

"You need $6,000 for a new roof right?" Buffy nodded, and Faith frowned. "You ought to try a different bank. Maybe one in L.A., or over the internet."

"I've thought of that," Buffy murmured as she walked behind the counter to get a tray.

"Well then do it. I mean, you've got good credit, right? You're paying your bills on time." Faith moved to pick up her tray. "All you have to do is go to a different bank and they'll be thrilled to have your business."

Buffy sighed before looking at her friend. "I don't know Faith. It's just such a major problem... It's ruining the walls and ceilings... and with all the rain we've been having it's getting worse." She slid a notepad and pen into her apron pocket before turning to the brunette. "Did I tell you the taxes almost doubled last year?" Faith whistled, and Buffy shook her head tiredly. "Even without the storm damage, it's getting too expensive to keep. And after finally getting out of debt a few months ago, I'm not sure I want to take out another loan anyway."

"Well... "Faith frowned before going silent. "Didn't you tell me Triad was buying houses in your neighborhood?"

"Yeah," Buffy agreed. "They've almost bought my whole block, but I've never received an offer on my place."

"Maybe that's a good reason to hold on to it then. I mean, if they put new houses on your street, your place should be worth more."

"Maybe," Buffy agreed as she watched the first customers come in, "but I don't think I can afford to keep it if I have to find another place to live. And the roof," she shook her head, "it's not good."

"Well you know you can move to Los Angeles with me," Faith stated with a smile.

Buffy turned to look at her. "Yeah, because you and Jim really need a third wheel following you around." A moment later, she shook her head and watched as a group of guys took a table in her section. "I'm going to miss you when you leave."

Faith frowned as she watched Buffy make her way over to the table. It seemed like nothing ever worked out for her.

Angel glanced up when the door to his office opened without warning before leaning back in his chair and studying the bleached blonde. "Spike," he shook his head mockingly. "Let me guess, you used your *charm* to get past my secretary?"

Spike smirked as he walked to the leather chair in front of Angel's desk and slouched down in it. "I can't help it if she likes me can I? Besides, if you're not going to try her out, I might as well. I'm pretty sure she'd be agreeable."

Angel nodded, well aware of his secretary's interest in him and his friends. "So," he started to change the subject, "what's on your mind?"

"Your ex," Spike answered bluntly. "She was at the bank today asking for a loan. It seems her house has some major damage from the last storm, and she needs $6,000 to fix it."

A silence fell and Angel eyed him before leaning back in his chair. "And?"

"And nothing... My old man doesn't want to touch her with a ten foot pole. You probably couldn't find a better time to make an offer on her place."

"We're not interested."

"Why? You're buying everything around it."

Angel's eyes darkened slightly. He'd already had this discussion with Holtz and had gotten his uncle to agree to leave her house alone. "Let's just pretend that's one house money can't buy."

Spike snorted. "And if your potential buyers don't like living next to a run down house with a tarp covering the roof, you're going to what? Give them a discount?"

"If they don't like looking at her house, they can look elsewhere," Angel growled. "I really don't care."

Spike leaned back in his chair. "You're serious aren't you?"

"Dead."

He studied his friend, narrowed his eyes before giving a slow nod. "Makes sense I guess. I mean, you gave her access to Liam. Wouldn't want her to take off with your son."

"Exactly," Angel agreed.

"Well," Spike stood up. "I just wanted to stop off and give you the news in case she tries to hit you up for cash."

"Why would she?"

"Oh, I don't know. She might still think she has her claws in you."

"You know better than that," Angel murmured before tapping a finger against the desktop as Spike turned to go. "Are you going to make it to Liam's birthday party? It's Saturday afternoon at my place."

"Wouldn't miss it," Spike answered as he glanced back. It had taken him a long time to come to terms with Angel being a father, but now that he had, he'd come to realize he liked the little boy he thought of as a nephew.

Angel smiled. "Good. I told him you'd be there to play hide and seek with him."

Spike scowled. Liam had a lively imagination and last time they'd played he'd ended up looking for him for almost an hour. "I'll bring the nets," he stated with a grimace. "We'll play volleyball."

Angel's eyes glinted with amusement as he watched Spike leave before turning back to the papers he'd been working on.

Buffy looked over the expensive cars parked in front of Angel's house with resignation. She hadn't planned on wishing Liam a happy birthday with so many of Angel's friends around. Her gaze slid to the little black and white kitten, and she gave a shake of her head. "I guess there's no point putting it off," she murmured. "Not if I want to see him on his birthday." Her shift at the bar wouldn't end until 2 am, and since she'd taken on more hours at the diner, she hadn't been able to get away earlier. Sighing, she scooped the kitten into her arms and headed for the house.

She rang the doorbell, and it didn't take long before the door was opened by a smiling Liam, whose face fell as soon as he saw her. "Mom," he murmured as he eyed her and the kitten doubtfully.

"Hi," she greeted with a smile even as she looked at him cautiously. "Happy birthday."

"Thanks," he answered impatiently. "Got yourself a cat?"

"Um... no... well..." Buffy forced a smile. "I thought you might like her for your birthday. You used to watch Willow's cat when you were younger, and I always thought I'd get you one someday." Silence fell as Buffy glanced at the adorable black and white kitten before looking nervously at her son. "She's a persian, Liam. Would you like to hold her?"

"I'm kind of busy right now," The seven year old glanced over his shoulder and into the laughter filled house before looking back at her. "Besides, I don't want one anymore."

Buffy felt a knot grow in her stomach before another burst of laughter from the house caused her to nod. "Alright. Um... What would you like then?"

"Nothing mom. It's fine. Thanks." Liam stepped back inside and closed the door as Buffy stood on the porch with tears filling her eyes.

"Love you," she stated quietly as she stared at the door before slowly starting back toward the car.

"Who was that?" Cordy asked as Liam came back into the room.

"Someone that had the wrong house," he answered as he went over to get another piece of cake. He didn't notice the frown Angel turned on him as he turned away from the window, but he looked up when his dad headed for the front door.

"Buffy!" Angel called as he stepped outside and moved toward her. Watched as she wiped at her eyes before turning to face him. "Is that Liam's present?"

"She was.." she looked down at the kitten, "but I guess I should have asked him what he wanted." She hesitated. "I... um told him I'd get him something else."

He eyed her before looking at the kitten and reaching out his hands. "I'll take her."

Buffy frowned before shaking her head. "I never meant for you to keep her. I thought..." she took in a breath, "I thought Liam could visit her when he was at my house." Angel's eyes flashed up to hers, and she shifted uncomfortably. "Look... I..." she wiped at tears, "have to be at work in half an hour. So..."

"Give me the kitten Buffy," he reiterated as he determinedly reached to take it out of her arms. Surprised by his insistence she allowed him to take the little ball of fluff and watched as he settled it against him.

"Her name's Pandora," she stated before looking at him uncertainly and then down at the bright eyed kitten. She shook her head a moment later. "I appreciate the offer, but he doesn't want her." She took an audible shaky breath.

"I'm sure he'll rethink his decision," Angel stated coolly. "And he can spend more time with her if she stays here."

She swallowed and looked up at him. "I never intended for you to have to..."

"I've got the room," he cut her off before turning away and starting back toward the house.

Buffy frowned as she watched him before noticing Darla looking out the window with a sneer. A wave of exhaustion ran through her as she turned away. It would be a long day... but after it was over, then she could cry.

"What's that darling?" Dru eyed the kitten with amusement before smiling maliciously at the group around her. "I didn't know you were taking in strays Angel."

Raising an eyebrow Angel shrugged before threading his way through the crowd. "What can I say, Dru?" He glanced toward his son and eyed Liam's scowl with disapproval even as he tried to calm the uneasy kitten. "I guess I'm mellowing with old age."

He moved toward a spare bedroom and pushed the kitten in before closing the door thoughtfully as he ran through a list of what it would need. Cat food, litter box... water, toys... brush...

He moved back toward his friends. "I've got some shopping to do. I won't be long." He grabbed the car keys off the table and turned back to them. "I'll be really... unhappy if my cat's gone when I get back." He locked eyes with Spike. "You'll make sure she's still here won't you?"

Spike rolled his eyes before nodding.

A few hours later, Angel watched the kitten look over his desktop. He wasn't a cat person, much preferring dogs if he was even to consider having a pet, but then Buffy had made changes in his life before. He scowled as the little persian attacked the gold plated pen Gwen had given him and rolled it across the desk with glee. Reaching out to stop its progress, he watched the kitten bat at it again before moving on to a new game of trying to get her paws under his briefcase.

Pushing the pen farther onto the desk he contemplated Liam's obvious disregard for Buffy's feelings. It wasn't something he was used to giving a lot of thought to, but Liam's recent behavior was becoming too hurtful to ignore. Even if he had doubts about her motives for marrying him, he knew without a doubt she loved their son... and he envied him that. Buffy had loved Liam enough to try to fight for him while she'd signed away their marriage in five minutes flat.

He snorted and ran a hand through his hair. After his last split with Buffy, he'd went back to his old life, and taken Liam with him. He was wealthy, single, and attractive. Liam hadn't been in the plans, not when he was twenty, but he could never regret him. He shook his head. He had everything he ever wanted... at least everything he'd ever wanted before meeting Buffy. But there were times, and they were happening more frequently lately, when he acknowledged to himself he had had other dreams. A house, car, marriage, and career that he'd chosen, and lost... Liam was even a part of that... Angel knew when he was conceived. They'd been married in August, and went to the beach on their wedding night... had impatiently made love even though he'd forgotten condoms and Buffy hadn't been on the pill.

A clack got his attention and he looked down to see the gold plated pen on the floor... and Pandora looking at it from the desktop with bright blue eyes. He eyed the kitten with irritation before it made the short leap into his lap and then followed the pen onto the floor as it continued to play.

Angel watched, his eyes narrowing as he realized why he'd even decided to take her. It was a bit more of Buffy he could have. He snorted at the thought. Gods he hated this. Hated he could still long for something he'd lost years ago, something he wasn't sure he'd even had.

Getting up, he poured a glass of whiskey before turning to look out the window. He was still there when the door opened and Liam came in. "Why's the cat here?" his son demanded.

Angel turned to study him. "She's a birthday present from your mother... Where did you expect her to be?"

"I told her I didn't want it." The 7 year old took a seat in Angel's leather chair before idly beginning to spin it.

"And I told her it was fine," he returned as he finished his drink and moved to set his glass back on the bar.

"I don't want it."

Angel eyed him thoughtfully as he leaned against the bar and changed the subject. "You've heard about the new golf course haven't you?"

Liam looked at him moodily but nodded. "Yeah. Uncle Holtz says we're going to make a killing off of it."

Angel nodded. "But isn't it too bad about the old buildings that are going to be torn down?"

Liam snorted. "It's a barn dad."

"It's over a hundred years old and *round* Liam. There's so few like it." His son continued to stare at him, and he frowned. "Some things once they're gone can't be replaced."

"It can. A new better one can be built."

"Not with the same history," Angel dismissed before sighing when Liam rolled his eyes. His son had definitely been spending too much time with Holtz, Lindsey, or well... any of his friends... And what different outcome had he expected when he'd allowed Darla, Dru, Lilah, and Cordy to be more of a mother to him than Buffy? Something batted at his shoe, and he looked down to see a black and white blur dart away.

He watched it for a moment before looking back at Liam as a heavy weight seemed to settle over him. "Buffy calls her Pandora," he stated quietly, "but I don't think she'd mind if you wanted to change the name."

Liam shrugged before giving a smile. "Cordelia said she'd get me a collie and I could show it."

Angel's eyes narrowed. "I didn't know you wanted a dog, Liam."

He twirled in the desk chair. "Cordy says she'll pay for a trainer and if he wins, I'll get a trophy."

"I see," the thin layer of frost in Angel's voice didn't register on his son as he continued to play with the chair. "I'll have to call her tomorrow and tell her not to bother."

"Why? I *want* the dog." Liam threw his hand toward the kitten. "*That's* what belongs in an animal shelter."

"And I told your mother we were keeping her," Angel stated firmly. "That's not even open for discussion."

Liam stared at him with annoyance before shrugging moodily. "Fine, but Cordelia told me litter boxes are gross."

Angel smirked. "And scooping up dog poop is better?"

The seven year old scowled before leaving the room, and Angel watched him with regret. He'd never tried to turn his son against Buffy, but he hadn't stopped his friends from doing it. He gave a slight shake of his head before turning to look out the window and found himself wondering again why he'd allowed things to go as far as they had. Despite everything that had happened, Buffy's tears over Liam's constant rejections were starting to wear on him. He'd thought allowing her some time with their son for a few hours on weekends might heal some of the damage, but it had only made Liam resent her more.

He ran a hand through his hair and wondered how many more years it would take for her to realize the only thing he and Liam had to offer was pain. And when she finally accepted that, how long would it be before she cut them out of her life and found someone that would give her another child? One she could raise and love, and who would love her back?

He frowned before turning back to look out the window with sightless eyes. He hated how things had turned out. He hated that so many years had passed. He hated that... He shook his head. He hated everything.