Mia

They barely made it inside.

As soon as their host threw the bolts, the cow monsters howled and slammed into the door, making it shudder on its hinges.

"Oh, they can't get in," the man in denim promised. "You're safe now!"

"How are we safe?" Frank demanded. Mia ran a hand across Hazel's forehead, "She's dying!"

Their host frowned as if he didn't enjoy Frank and Mia reducing his good mood. "Yes, yes. Bring her this way."

Frank carried Hazel as they followed the man further into the building. Nico and Mia offered to help, but Frank shooed them away. Mia gave Hazel a look.

Her lips had taken on a greenish tinge. Her brown curly hair was all over the place, and Mia's eyes welled with tears. Ever since Percy and Annabeth got into Tartarus, Hazel was her go-to girl. She was so kind and understand, so watching her dying-

The house's front room was some sort of greenhouse. The walls were lined with furniture of plant trays under fluorescent lighting. The air smelled of compost solution. Maybe Venetians did their cultivation inside since they were enclosed by water instead of soil?

The back room looked like a sequence garage, college dorm, and network lab. Against the left wall glowed a bank of servers and laptops, their screen savers flashing images of plowed fields and tractors.

Upon the right wall were a single bed, an untidy desk, and an open closet filled with extra denim clothes and a stack of farm implements, like pitchforks and rakes. The back wall was a huge garage door.

Parked next to it was a red-and-gold chariot with an open carriage and a single axle, like the chariots Mia had seen at Camp Jupiter. Sprouting from the sides of the driver's box were giant fluffy wings.

Wrapped around the rim of the left wheel, a spotted python snorted loudly.

'Set your friend here,' said the man in denim. Frank placed Hazel smoothly on the bed. Mia removed Hazel's sword and tried to make her position satisfactory, but she was as limp as a scarecrow. Her appearance definitely had a greenish tint.

'What were those cow things?' Frank demanded. 'What did they do to her?'

'Katoblepones,' said their host. 'Singular: katobleps. In English, it means down-looker. Called that because –'

'They're always looking down.' Nico smacked his forehead. 'Right. I remember reading about them.'

Frank glared at him. 'Now you remember?'

Nico hung his head almost as low as a katobleps. Mia answered for him, "Nico used to play this card game when he was younger. Mythomagic. Nico showed me that katobleps was one of the monster cards."

Frank blinked. 'I played Mythomagic. I never saw that card.'

Nico spoke up, 'It was in the Africanus Extreme expansion deck.'

'Oh.'

Their host cleared his throat. 'Are you two done, ah, geeking out, as they say?'

"Right, sorry," Nico muttered. "Anyway, katoblepones have poison breath and a poison gaze. I thought they only lived in Africa."

The man in denim shrugged. Mia spoke up, "That's their original land, I'm guessing."

The man nodded, "They were accidentally imported to Venice hundreds of years ago. You've heard of Saint Mark?"

"Saints?" Frank asked, "They're not part of Greek mythology."

The man in denim snickered. 'No, but Saint Mark is the patron saint of this city. He died in Egypt, oh, a long time ago. When the Venetians became powerful … well, the relics of saints were a big tourist attraction back in the Middle Ages."

"The Venetians decided to steal Saint Mark's remains and bring them to their big church of San Marco. They smuggled out his body in a barrel of pickled pig parts."

"That's … disgusting," Mia said, shuddering.

'Yes,' the man agreed with a smile. 'The point is you can't do something like that and not have consequences. The Venetians unintentionally smuggled something else out of Egypt – the katoblepones."

Nobody answer, so he continued, "They came here aboard that ship and have been breeding like rats ever since. They love the magical poison roots that grow here – swampy, foul-smelling plants that creep up from the canals. It makes their breath even more poisonous! Usually, the monsters ignore mortals, but demigods … especially demigods who get in their way –"

"Got it," Frank snapped. "Can you cure her?"

The man shrugged. "Possibly."

"Possibly?" Frank glared at the man, and Mia could tell he was trying to keep his patience. Mia put her hand under Hazel's nose.

She wasn't breathing. Mia looked at Nico, "Nico, please tell me she's doing that death-trance thing as you did in the bronze jar."

Nico grimaced. "I don't know if Hazel can do that. Her dad is technically Pluto, not Hades, so –"

"Hades!" cried their host. He backed away, staring at Nico with distaste. "So that's what I smell. Children of the Underworld? If I'd known that, I would never have let you in!"

Frank rose. "Hazel's a good person. You promised you would help her!"

"I did not promise."

Nico drew his sword. "She's my sister," he growled. "I don't know who you are, but if you can cure her you have to, or so help me by the River Styx –"

"Oh, blah, blah, blah!" The man waved his hand. Suddenly where Nico di Angelo had been standing was a potted plant about five feet tall, with drooping green leaves, tufts of silk, and half a dozen ripe golden ears of corn.

"Nico!" Mia screamed, running over the potted plant.

"There," the man huffed, wagging his finger at the corn plant. "Children of Hades can't order me around! You should talk less and listen more. Now at least you have ears."

Mia and Frank moved away from the man. Frank stared at the plants in horror, "What did you – why –?"

The man raised an eyebrow. Mia heard Frank made a squeaky noise. They had both forgotten what Leo had told them about the guy they were looking for.

"You're a god," Mia remembered. "Triptolemus."

The man bowed. "My friends call me Trip, so don't call me that. And if you're another child of Hades –"

"Mars!" Frank said quickly. "Child of Mars!"

"I'm- I'm a child of Aphrodite," Mia said, stuttering on her words.

Triptolemus sniffed. "Well … not much better. But perhaps the child of Mars deserves to be something better than a corn plant. Sorghum? Sorghum is very nice."

"Wait!" Frank pleaded. "We're here on a friendly mission. We brought a gift."

Very slowly, he reached into his backpack and brought out the leather-bound book. Mia smiled, giving jazz hands to lighten the mood. "This belongs to you?"

"My almanac!" Triptolemus grinned and seized the book. He thumbed through the pages and started bouncing on the balls of his feet. "Oh, this is fabulous! Where did you find it?"

"Um, Bologna." Frank said, "There were these–"

"-Terrible monsters." Mia cut in, remember that they wouldn't mention the dwarfs, "We risked our lives, but we knew this was important to you. So could you maybe, you know, turn Nico back to normal and heal Hazel?"

"Hmm?" Trip looked up from his book. He'd been happily reciting lines to himself. "Oh, heal them? I'm grateful for the book, of course. I can definitely let you go free, son of Mars. But I have a long-standing problem with Hades. After all, I owe my godly powers to Demeter!"

Mia immediately stepped up, "Uh, Demeter, the goddess of grain. She– she didn't like Hades because Hades kidnapped Persephone... her beloved daughter."

"Exactly!" Trip said.

Frank looked confused, "So … Persephone was a friend of yours?"

Trip snorted. "I was just a mortal prince back then. Persephone wouldn't have noticed me. But when her mother, Demeter, went searching for her, scouring the whole earth, not many people would help her. Hecate lit her way at night with her torches.

"And I … well, when Demeter came to my part of Greece, I gave her a place to stay. I comforted her, gave her a meal, and offered my assistance. I didn't know she was a goddess at the time, but my good deed paid off. Later, Demeter rewarded me by making me a god of farming!"

Mia looked impressed, but Frank didn't. "Wow. Farming. Congratulations."

"I know! Pretty awesome, right? Anyway, Demeter never got along with Hades. So naturally, you know, I have to side with my patron goddess. Children of Hades – forget it! In fact, one of them – this Scythian king named Links? When I tried to teach his countrymen about farming, he killed my right python!"

"Your … right python?" Mia asked. Trip marched over to his winged chariot and hopped in. He pulled a lever, and the wings began to flap. The spotted python on the left wheel opened his eyes. He started to writhe, coiling around the axle like a spring.

The chariot whirred into motion, but the right wheel stayed in place, so Triptolemus spun in circles, the chariot beating its wings and bouncing up and down like a defective merry-go-round.

"You see?" he said as he spun. "No good! Ever since I lost my right python, I haven't been able to spread the word about farming – at least not in person. Now I have to resort to giving online courses."

"What?" Frank asked. Trip hopped off the chariot while it was still spinning. The python slowed to a stop and went back to snoring. Trip jogged over to the line of computers.

He tapped the keyboards and the screens woke up, displaying a website in maroon and gold, with a picture of a happy farmer in a toga and a farmer's hat, standing with his bronze scythe in a field of wheat.

"Triptolemus Farming University!" he announced proudly. "In just six weeks, you can get your bachelor's degree in the exciting and vibrant career of the future – farming!"

After a pause, Frank uttered, "'Look,' he said. 'We did bring you the almanac. And my friends are really nice. They're not like those other children of Hades you've met. So if there's any way–"

"Oh!" Trip snapped his fingers. "I see where you're going!"

"Uh … you do?" Frank asked, looking at Mia for support.

"Absolutely! If I cure your friend Hazel and return the other one, Nicholas –"

"Nico." Mia corrected.

"– if I return him to normal…"

Frank hesitated. "Yes?"

"Then, in exchange, the child of Mars stay with me and take up farming! A child of Mars as my apprentice? It's perfect! What a spokesman you'll be. We can beat swords into plowshares and have so much fun!"

"Actually…" Frank's eyes wandered to the broken chariot. "I have a better offer... she can fix that."

Trip's smile melted. "Fix … my chariot?"

Mia wanted to kick Frank. Why would he say that? She wasn't Leo. She only fixed things when Leo was around to help her.

"We'll go find a way to fix the chariot," Frank correct, "In return, you fix Nico and Hazel. Let us go in peace. And – and give us whatever aid you can to defeat Gaia's forces."

Triptolemus laughed. "What makes you think I can aid you with that?"

"Hecate told us so," Frank said. "She sent us here. She – she decided Hazel is one of her favorites."

The color drained from Trip's face. "Hecate?"

Mia hoped he wasn't overstating things. They didn't need another god mad at them too. But, if Triptolemus and Hecate were both friends of Demeter, maybe that would convince Trip to help.

"The goddess guided us to your almanac in Bologna," Frank said. "She wanted us to return it to you, because … well, she must've known you had some knowledge that would help us get through the House of Hades in Epirus."

Trip nodded slowly. "Yes. I see. I know why Hecate sent you to me. Very well, son of Mars. Instead of the girl, you go find a way to fix my chariot."

Mia gaped at Frank. If she fixed it, they had a chance of succeeding. But it was Frank... who knew nothing of mechanics. The man looked at Frank, "If you succeed, I will do all you ask. If not-"

"I know," Frank grumbled. "My friends die."

"Yes," Trip said cheerfully. "And you'll make a lovely patch of sorghum!"

FLASHBACK

Nico and Mia threw rocks at the river, as Nico would curse about his burdens that he is dealing with. This was a few days after the Titan War when they defeated Kronos.

"And Bianca. My sister did nothing wrong." Nico said, looking at the exit of Camp Haft-Blood, "I'm ready to leave this place."

"What? No!" Mia said, throwing her arms around Nico, as if she won't let him go, "You can't! I'll be alone."

"No, you won't." Nico said, sitting down on the ground, "You'll have Harley."

"Harley is FIVE." Mia said, sitting down next to him, putting her head on his lap, "Nico, please don't go."

Nico sighed, and began to play with her hair, "I have to go."

Mia wiped the tears in her eyes, "I'll come with you."

Nico grinned, and kissed her forehead, "Then pack your bags. I'm going tomorrow in the morning."

PRESENT

Mia was nervously shaking, waiting for Frank. Finally, he had stormed into La Casa Nera, dragging the python by its tail like a very strange Santa Claus bag, and dropped it next to the bed.

"You found one!" the farmer god exclaimed. Frank ignored knelt at Hazel's side.

"She's still alive, but barely breathing." Mia said, "As for Nico, he was still a corn plant."

"Heal them," Frank said. "Now."

Triptolemus crossed his arms. "How do I know the snake will work?"

Frank gritted his teeth. Looking at Frank, he looked more buffer and taller.

"The snake is a gift from Mars," Frank growled. "It will work."

As if on cue, the Burmese python slithered over to the chariot and wrapped itself around the right wheel. The other snake woke up. The two serpents checked each other out, touching noses, then turned their wheels in unison.

The chariot inched forward, its wings flapping. Mia clapped excitedly.

"You see?" Frank said. "Now, heal my friends!"

Triptolemus tapped his chin. "Well, thank you for the snake, but I'm not sure I like your tone, demigod. Perhaps I'll turn you into –"

Frank was faster. He lunged at Trip and slammed him into the wall, his fingers locked around the god's throat. Mia screamed as Frank began to choke the god.

"Think about your next words," Frank warned, deadly calm. "Or, instead of beating my sword into a plowshare, I will beat it into your head."

Triptolemus gulped. "You know … I think I'll heal your friends."

"Swear it on the River Styx," Mia whispered.

"I swear it on the River Styx."

Frank released him. Triptolemus touched his throat as if making sure it was still there. He gave Frank a nervous smile, edged around him, and scurried off to the front room. "Just – just gathering herbs!"

Mia watched as the god picked leaves and roots and crushed them in a mortar. He rolled a pill-sized ball of green goop and jogged to Hazel's side. He placed the gunk ball under Hazel's tongue.

Instantly, she shuddered and sat up, coughing. Her eyes flew open. The greenish tint in her skin disappeared. She looked around, bewildered until she saw Frank.

"What –?"

Frank tackled her in a hug. "You're going to be fine," he said fiercely. "Everything is fine."

There was a pause when Mia decided to tackle the subject, "Frank, happened to you?"

"To me?" Frank stood up, looking at his body, "I don't… Uh … I don't … Maybe I can fix it."

Hazel laughed with delight. "Why? You look amazing!"

"I – I do?" Frank asked, confused.

"I mean, you were handsome before! But you look older and taller, and so distinguished –"

Triptolemus heaved a dramatic sigh. "Yes, obviously some sort of blessing from Mars. Congratulations, blah, blah, blah. Now, if we're done here…?"

Frank glared at him. "We're not done. Heal Nico."

The farm god rolled his eyes. He pointed at the corn plant, and BAM! Nico di Angelo appeared in an explosion of corn silk. Nico looked around in a panic. "I – I had the weirdest nightmare about popcorn."

He frowned at Frank. "Why are you taller?"

Mia tackled Nico, kissing his cheek. "Oh my gods, you're okay. You're okay."

"Everything's fine," Frank promised. "Triptolemus was about to tell us how to survive the House of Hades. Weren't you, Trip?"

The farm god raised his eyes to the ceiling, like, Why me, Demeter?

"Fine," Trip said. "When you arrive at Epirus, you will be offered a chalice to drink from."

"Offered by whom?" Mia asked.

"Doesn't matter," Trip snapped. "Just know that it is filled with deadly poison."

Hazel shuddered. "So you're saying that we shouldn't drink it."

"No!" Trip said. "You must drink it, or you'll never be able to make it through the temple. The poison connects you to the world of the dead, lets you pass into the lower levels. The secret to surviving is-" his eyes twinkled "–barley."

Frank stared at him. "Barley."

"In the front room, take some of my special barley. Make it into little cakes. Eat these before you step into the House of Hades. The barley will absorb the worst of the poison, so it will affect you, but not kill you."

"That's it?" Mia demanded. "Hecate sent us halfway across Italy so you could tell us to eat barley?"

"Good luck!" Triptolemus sprinted across the room and hopped in his chariot. "And, Frank Zhang, I forgive you! You've got spunk. If you ever change your mind, my offer is open. I'd love to see you get a degree in farming!"

"Yeah," Frank muttered. "Thanks."

The god pulled a lever on his chariot. The snake-wheels turned. The wings flapped. At the back of the room, the garage doors rolled open.

"Oh, to be mobile again!" Trip cried. "So many ignorant lands in need of my knowledge. I will teach them the glories of tilling, irrigation, fertilizing!"

Trip pointed a bony finger at Nico and Mia, "Oh, and I have never seen an Aphrodite child and a Hades child. I'm pretty sure it wouldn't last."

"We aren't-" Mia was about to say, but the chariot lifted off and zipped out of the house, Triptolemus shouting to the sky, "Away, my serpents! Away!"

"That," Hazel said, "was very strange."

"The glories of fertilizing." Nico brushed some corn silk off his shoulder. "Can we get out of here now?"

Hazel put her hand on Frank's shoulder. "Are you okay, really? You bartered for our lives. What did Triptolemus make you do?"

Frank tried to hold it together. He scolded himself for feeling so weak. He could face an army of monsters, but as soon as Hazel showed him kindness he wanted to break down and cry.

"Those cow monsters … the katoblepones that poisoned you … I had to destroy them."

"That was brave," Mia said. "There must have been, what, six or seven left in that herd."

"No." Frank cleared his throat. "All of them. I killed all of them in the city."

Nico and Hazel stared at him in stunned silence. Mia looked up at the sky, "Godly shit."

How many monsters had Frank killed on that bridge – two hundred? Three hundred? Instead of being scared, Hazel kissed his cheek. She had to stand on her tiptoes to do it now.

Hazel's eyes were incredibly sad. Mia gave a sad sigh, "Well, does anyone know what barley looks like?"