Part 5: The Trials of Luv
As Sonikku sat out on the beach waiting for his two contestants after setting up the trials in the early morning, he tought. What if he luved them both? Would he take talez's pure, innocent luv, or kknakles's carnal, passonate luv? What if he luved neithr of them? Were these trials a mistake to end up in disapontment? He had the entire course set up so he might as well go for it. Finaly his frends arrived and he jumped to his feet.
"Alright ladies, this here is Sonikku's official Trials of Luv! In these Trials, you will be faced with many challenges, in which you gotta prove to me that you are the one true one worthy of my luv. Whoever wins gets to keep me as a prize! The loser… does not!"
They gasped
"First, we will start with the interviews." Sonikku pulled out a microphone from behind his back. He went to talez.
"Here we have talez, my friend since we were very young. Talez is an expert at making stuff and he's really smart and can fly. Talez what do you have to say?"
"I think I am the one most deserving of your luv Sonikku, I have known you for longer and know that your favorite foods are chilidawgs and blubarry pie, and your favorite color is blue and you are a Sakura fan!"
"Cool. Now we have nuclkles, my other friend since we were very young. He is strong, tougher than leather, does not chuckle, and he can also fly. Knuhkels, what do you have to say?"
"I'm the best of the best, Sonikku, and I will earn your luv like only a winner can. What you need is a buff guy like me to carry your grosries and protect you. I'm totally stoked for these Trials!"
"Neat-O. Great, now that the interviews are done, let's say we start these Trials of Luv!"
The two Sonikku-luvers cheered, and Sonikku threw the microphone. "okay, so here. We. Go!"
They ran to the first stasion, were Sonikku explained: "this here is the trial of strength. You have to lift a block of concreet to earn a point. Can you do it?" Nukles laughed and said "no problem!" and lifted the block easily. Talez struggled because talez is a weak little man so he did not earn the point. Sonikku shouted "First point goes to Nucels!"
They ran to the second stasion, where Sonikku explained again: "this is the trial of smarts. I will ask three questions and whoever answers the most correctly gets a point. Are you smarter than a fifth grader?" talez laughed and said "this will be easy!" Sonikku asked the first question: "What is 2+2?" "4!" talez yelled fastly. Sonikku asked the second question: "Why don't presidents fight the war? Why do they always send the poor?" "Because they like to feed us lies form the tablecloth!" Kuncels got that one because he has a good taste in music. Sonikku asked the final question: "How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?" Both thought for a moment until talez announced "42!" because 42 is the answer to life, universe, and everything. "Talez wins the smarts trial!" Sonikku shouted.
They ran to the last stasion. "Okay you two, this is the last one. I want you to type a four to six page paper on how much you love me, why it's important that you win, and what you'll do if you win me. 12 point font, times new roman, double spaced with 1 inch margins and MLA formatting, in case you need to cite sources." The contestants ran to their computers and began to type rapidly. Once they were done Sonikku read them both. "These are both excellent, I don't know who to pick to win… you both get a point. We will do a tiebreaker!"
"WAIT!" shouted a voice. Everybody turned to see who it was.
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…It was Shadough!?