When 'Galladon' asks to be sent to Estermont instead of Tarth, claiming 'he' has no wish to see 'his' home destroyed, Ser Jaime not only concedes, but announces he's going to Estermont as well. "Unless someone else in this camp knows your identity," he says, "it's better if you have me nearby for help. Besides, King Robert is coming along with the crownlands' armies. He can see Tarth for himself."
Most of the camp remains in the mainland under the younger Baratheon brothers' command, as they expect the stormlands coast to be attacked next. The Seaworth brothers come along with them.
She can see the smoke high up hours before their small ship anchors. Her heart squeezes at the thought of what may have happened to the people living there—women, children, elderly, even able men who did not join the war effort (after all, Tarth only sent her). The summer wind brings the smell of burnt things in their direction with an intensity she should have expected, but didn't. An Estermont soldier actually vomits, and others retire to the lower levels.
"It may be better to let those stay here," Ser Jaime comments quietly. They are on the deck, and not alone, so the words are not for her ears only. Still, she's the first to react, asking why. "If they can't handle this smell, imagine how it will be when they face the dragons themselves. Estermont was burnt days ago."
"It might just be because it's their first contact," Dale Seaworth offers gently.
Ser Jaime nods, but says nothing in reply.
When they set foot on the island, they are greeted by horror; it doesn't feel like any hour has passed since the attack. Men and women cry for their children and spouses, children cry for their parents, families cry for their homes. There are no flames now, but the smoke is heavy and leaves dusty ash on their armors as they go through.
Half of the buildings down the streets are completely destroyed, and only a small portion of the houses is still liveable. Even from a distance, she can the island's castle Greenstone is no more. "Did any Estermont survive?", she asks quietly.
Ser Jaime glances at her and shakes his head. "Only those who left for the war."
When they arrive at the castle's ruins, they find out the survivors are using the place as a memorial for the dragonfire's victims. The contingent stands before it for several moments in silence, paying tribute to the dead. Quietly, Brienne prays for her own home.
"Did she ever know?", she asks in a whisper after getting redressed. She had just used Ser Jaime's privy.
He turns to her and nods. Both of them know who she's referring to. "I told her more than once. We…" He swallows hard and looks down.
She understands immediately. "You got to be her lover."
He straightens his back up. "Rhaegar essentially abandoned her for Lyanna Stark", he snaps, as if defending himself. "Then, as if it wasn't enough, he left her alone with his mad father, with no one but me for protection. I was so angry at the prince that I ended up spilling the truth, and—can you blame her for wanting to be with someone who loved her?"
"I wasn't judging her", she replies gently, "or you. But… was it worth it, in the end?"
"Worth every damn second", he replies without second thought. "I'd do it all over again if I had the chance—perhaps even sooner."
There is no reply to that, so she just bids him good night.
For the next five days, they assess the extent of the damage and plan their next course of action. "Some of the captain's descriptions match Jon Connington," Ser Jaime says. "It's safe to assume he headed to his old home afterwards. As soon as I send a raven to Storm's End, we'll sail to Griffin's Roost."
A day before their departure, they receive a raven from Tarth, signed by the king. "Good news, Galladon," he announces during supper—they eat their meals in the only inn that remained whole. "Tarth was considerably less damaged than Estermont, and your father survived. Evenfall stands strong."
He smiles at her—a genuine smile—and her heart races as she thanks him for the information. Later, when she's alone in her tent, she is confronted with the fact that she's developing feelings for her Commander.
In hindsight, it was bound to happen. Pretty boys and handsome men have always been Brienne's weakness, probably because people are often drawn to what they cannot have, and it gets worse when they treat her well. Ser Jaime is the most handsome man she's ever seen, and he's treated her with a kindness she's never received before, but he is also the most unattainable man she knows. Not only is he a Kingsguard, sworn to never marry, he still mourns Princess Elia. The heat in his eyes when he proclaimed breaking his vows for her had been worth it makes it clear he never moved on from her death. How could she compete with the Martell princess' beautiful ghost?
(For a moment, she imagines how it would be to be loved by Jaime Lannister. From what she heard of his own story about him and Elia, he's a man who loves fiercely and deeply. The princess was a lucky woman, she concludes. I hope she cherished him while she could.)
To make matters worse, Brienne is ugly. So mannish that dressing up as a man is no problem at all. So undesirable that not even Evenfall Hall and Tarth are worth marrying her. Her decision to live as a warrior can only drive the men further away; who would want such a violent woman as his wife?
She sighs as she tries to dispel those thoughts away. Falling for Ser Jaime is out of question; she'll only get a broken heart out of this, and he doesn't deserve to have his kindness returned in the form of undesired feelings on her part.