Marinette swung her yo-yo around her in a circle, like a lasso, forcing herself to keep her eyes open. The wind pierced through her suit, and the rain stung at her face. Her hair was drenched. The stupid transformation made her hair so short that it lay flat directly in front of her eyes. It was impossible to see anything. She flicked her hair to the side, and the figures surrounding her became visible again.
The Akuma flew above her, cackling as it rushed through the streets. It blew sand into the apartments and streets, causing more nightmares to pop up to torment her. Cat Noir slammed into a building off to the side, but immediately launched himself back at the Makara. He didn't even so much as pause to look at any figures around him. If she didn't know any better, Marinette would have sworn he had no fear. But she was living this with him; she knew. He was forcing himself to push through it, to ignore his fears, to go at the Makara with everything he had so he didn't distract himself and fail the city.
Marinette wished she could do the same. Before tonight, Marinette would have sworn she was only afraid of death and her coffee not being strong enough. Now, she knew better. Every single fear came at her, laughing at her and jeering. Their words pierced through the shattering rain and the moans of the Makara. The only thing louder than her fears, was the Akuma itself.
The Akuma was strange tonight. He seemed like a small boy. He kept singing to himself, pointing at things and creating a sand which would form into a nightmare figure. He would occasionally go after the Makara, but that didn't seem to interest him very much. He mainly glided around the city himself, just singing and swaying side to side with his eyes half shut. Surrounding him were half-formed shadows, nightmares ready to be molded into someone's worst fear.
His powers weren't limited to dark and ominous figures, though. In all the flat surfaces around her, Marinette could see scenes with people she loved: days at the beach with her parents, training with her cousins, and shopping trips to fabric stores with her aunt. Then, they would change. The images would pause, shadows would overtake everything, and one by one everything would be ruined. Her parents would be swallowed by the sea. Her cousins were killed by rival gang-members. Her aunt would be taken and changed by an Akuma. Her family would be massacred, and Marinette would be left alive, unscathed, and unable to help them. She was completely helpless.
It wasn't just that she was just watching the images, free to look away whenever she wanted. She was sucked into every scene she saw. If she happened to glance at a flat surface, she would be sucked into the scene, and live out the scenario.
Realistically, she knew she was only sucked into each scenario for an instant, but it felt like such a long time. It was exhausting. Her body shook from the continuous onslaught of fear, her mind felt like melting, begging for her bed.
She wasn't sure how long she and Cat Noir had been fighting the Akuma and Makara, but she knew she couldn't last much longer.
She wished she could go back in time, to just an hour ago. She wanted to go back to the movie she'd just been watching with Alya, Nino, Kim, Alix, Chloe, and Adrien. Then she could see the look on Nino's face when she handed him a freshly made loaf of his favorite bread again. She could listen to Alya blabbering to Nino and Chloe about her blog, and could watch Chloe start to open up without being defensive and rude about it. She could call for another round of hot chocolate and compete with Alix to see who could drink theirs the fastest. She could be there again to exchange a look with Alix as Kim tried to casually talk about Nathaniel. She could lean against Adrien and tell him everything she knew about a scene when she could tell he was bored or scared. She missed the feeling of happiness and comfort being with him and the rest of her friends gave her.
An hour ago, she was almost able to forget about this half of her life. Now she was here fighting a superpowered nightmare boy and a scaled tire in the rain and cold.
A figure tackled her, taking the form of a giant muscular man. That was nice. Though the screen images were terrifyingly personal, the physical, moving figures were generic fears of the population. Marinette had already killed 4 giant spiders and a few petty criminals.
Ladybug ducked under the figure's punch and jabbed him in the stomach. It stumbled backwards, into a puddle, and splashed her with water. Before he could recover she spun around to get behind him and kicked him in the back. The figure fell to the ground, and Marinette's eyes caught sight of the wall behind it. The white wall dimmed, then expanded, and Marinette was sucked into yet another scene.
Her mother and Nino were playfully arguing in her living room. The room was just as cozy as always; clean, but lived in. The rug was worn from the years of use, and there was a stain on the corner from when Marinette dropped a mug of hot chocolate on it when she was eight. It smelled like freshly made cake and vanilla essence. There was faint music playing in the background-Nino was showing her mom his newest song.
The walls were covered in ribbons, there was a table set up with cake, presents, and confetti, and there was a computer set up to video call Marie. Most of the preparations for Tom's surprise birthday party were finished, there was only one thing left: placing the balloons in the room. Sabine and NIno were trying to stick a giant ball of balloons on the ceiling, like a cloud, but couldn't agree on the exact placement.
"It should be in the center, like a chandelier," Sabine was saying.
"It would look better closer to the empty wall!" Nino argued, gesturing to the wall close to the table with cake and confetti. "Then we can take pictures with it!"
"We can take pictures of the whole room. We can have Tom stand in the middle, and we'd still be able to see it." Sabine moved her stool closer to the center of the room, but Nino took it from her, holding it above his head.
"But we wouldn't be able to see you or Marinette!"
On and on the argument went, and Marinette went to turn on the TV to play some games before her dad came home. It was his birthday. Usually Marinette let him win any game on his birthday, but she always needed to play a little before he arrived so she had a few wins under her belt.
Apparently, Nino and Sabine decided on what to do, because they stopped arguing and the only sound in the room was the squeak of balloons rubbing against each other, and the theme song of UMS III, Tom's favorite version of the game.
She started the game and focused completely on the figures in front of her character. Round after round, she kicked and punched her way to victory. One...two...five victories. She was waiting for another player to join a match when she suddenly became aware of the silence behind her.
Pausing only momentarily to pause the game, Marinette turned to look into the living room and her fingers went numb.
The previously white walls were stained with red, and her parents were laying on the floor, motionless. When had Tom gotten there? Who had done this? Where was Nino?
Marinette forced her legs to move, creeping closer to her parents. She fell by her mom's side.
"Mom? Get up. Mom?" She shook Sabine's shoulder, but she wouldn't move. Her hair covered her face, and Marinette was too afraid to move it; she didn't want to see if her mom's face had been mangled in any way. "Dad?" He was facedown on the carpet, covering the hot chocolate stain on the rug.
Where was Nino? She hesitated a second before searching for him. She checked under all the tables, in all the cabinets, behind anything she could find which might have covered him. He wasn't in her home. Her heart pounded. Where was he? She ran down the stairs to the bakery. He wasn't in the bathroom, not in the dining room, or in the kitchen.
She ran through the streets, the fear rising in her stomach, up her throat, until it was impossible to breath. No one was there; the streets were empty. She was left alone in the middle of the street, her parents dead in her home, and Nino was nowhere to be found.
The figure tried to get up, and Marinette gasped as she was pulled out of the scene. The figure rushed her again, and she evaded its attack. She threw her yo-yo into the air and pulled herself out of the situation. She followed the Akuma, shivering from the cold of the continuing rain.
The Akuma was still flying, its hairy body dripping with the freezing rain. Though it was now spring, the nights were unseasonably cold. It sang, a fine cloud escaping its horrifying mouth. Marinette shuddered. The condensed air darkened to black and joined the swirling mass of black underneath it, waiting to be released.
She focused her eyes on the Akuma, determined not to be thrown into another nightmare, and threw her yo-yo towards it. The Akuma calmly doged, glancing into a window. It placed a hand on the glass and paused its song to blow onto the surface. The window began to glow. Marinette forced herself not to stare at it and instead glared at the Akuma.
"Lucky charm!" Physically, the Akuma was weak enough that she could take it on. The victim was small-boned and thin. Without all the figures and nightmares fighting for it, it would have been easy to take on. All she needed was a way to keep it from singing; then it wouldn't be able to make any more nightmare figures. At least, that's what she hoped.
Her hands heated and glowed. A second later, something like a lasso appeared in her hands. The Akuma didn't seem to care very much about whatever she was doing. It continued singing and swaying side to side. A dark figure slammed into Marinette's side, and she was knocked into the side of a window hard enough to crack it. She brought her hands up to protect her face, and the figure chuckled next to her.
Her eyes opened and her gaze landed on the glass next to her.
It was Cat Noir. He was next to her. Somehow, it was warm now. They were in the park, sitting together and walking hand in hand. He was smiling down at her.
"I'm so happy you're here with me," he said.
"What are we doing here?" she asked. She looked down at their interlocked hands. His hands were covered in thick black material with fake nails at the end. Her hand was bare, and it looked like she was wearing a simple white T-shirt and jeans.
"It's our one-month anniversary, Marinette," Cat Noir laughed. "You said you'd try my bread if I modeled your clothes for you."
"Oh, I remember that." She did, she remembered. She'd told him that days ago, when he'd brought up their anniversary. "But where's the camera?"
"In your hand," Cat Noir answered, pausing and looking down at her in concern. "Are you ok? Do you want to go home?"
"No, I'm…" Marinette stared at the camera in her hand. It felt heavy and expensive. When had she ever been able to afford such a high-quality camera?
"Well, let's get started. I can't wait for you to try my bread!"
They kept walking, Marinette listening as Cat Noir told her about his day. She glanced around. Something about the park felt strange. She studied the endless field of green grass, the rows of flowers, the pockets of families and people playing around or sitting and enjoying the sunshine.
"When did the park get fixed?" Marinette asked. "Sorry to cut you off. But the park's looked awful for months-who cleaned it up?"
"We did. After we got rid of the Makara and Akumas."
"After we…?"
Cat Noir's face changed. His eyes darkened to a deep red, and narrowed. "Don't you remember? We defeated them months ago." His voice was different, deeper, and he seemed to have fangs now. What exactly was going on? His hair grew longer and tumbled around his shoulders, down his back, then rose behind him like wings.
Marinette let go of his hand, stepping back. The grass beneath her feet faded to an opaque gray. The color around her melted and shifted. The only ones with any color left were herself and the Not Cat Noir. The people in the park ran to the exit, screaming.
"Who are you?" she demanded. "Where is Cat Noir?"
The imposter bared its teeth at her, and she was frozen where she world seemed to vibrate, and the ground opened up beneath her feet. She glanced down, and immediately wished she hadn't. There was a mountain of bodies. On top was the real Cat Noir.
He was dead.
He was laying in the ground, body bent out of shape, and it seemed he'd been buried a while ago. If not for his costume, and the humanoid shape of his body, she wouldn't have been able to tell it was him. His face was swollen and purple, his suit covered in dried blood. He smelled awful.
Marinette stumbled back, covering her nose. The metallic scent of blood permeated the air. That was her partner; the one she'd sworn to protect. What exactly had happened?
The Not Cat Noir grabbed her arms, digging its claws into her muscles. It hissed in her ear. "You should've just forgotten! We could have been happy!"
Forgotten? Forgotten what? What exactly was going on? Marinette searched the area frantically, fighting to get out of the imposter's grip. "Where are my parents!" she demanded. "Let me go! Where is everyone?!"
"You should have forgotten!" it screeched, momentarily deafening Marinette. Something shifted behind her, and the Not Cat Noir pushed off the ground and into the air, taking Marinette with it. She screamed, holding onto it's disgusting arms for safety.
Beneath her, the city was in ruins. The buildings were leveled, fires sprung up from a few houses, and people were trying to run to safety. One by one she saw them fall. The siren used for Akuma and Makara attacks rang in the air, but it was quickly drowned out by the roar of fires.
"You promised!" the Not Cat Noir wailed from above her. "You were to help us, you would forget, we could live happily!"
"Never!" Marinette snarled back at it.
"I know," Not Cat Noir sighed. The wind blew ash and smoke in the air, stinging her eyes, and soon the fires overtook the city in one large blaze. No one was left to scream. Before Marinette's eyes, Paris crumbled until nothing was left.
Not Cat Noir's grip on her arm tightened. His claws dug into her skin, drawing blood. Marinette groaned in pain. "Now, you die."
He let go before Marinette could process what he meant. She wind whistled past her ears, and her stomach jumped into her lungs. It was hard to breathe, and even harder to scream. The ground came faster than she would have imagined. The last thing she heard was the crack of her skull on a rock in the park.
The figure continued to chuckle next to her. Marinette squeezed her eyes closed and lashed out where she could hear it laughing. She threw it off the side of the building, and screamed:
"Cat Noir!"
Seconds, or maybe minutes later, Cat Noir swooped down, grabbed her by the waist, and took her to the roof of the building. He set her down immediately, and she opened her eyes, studying him. He looked almost exactly as he always did: he towered over her in his stupid black suit, fake ears on his head, and his mask covering the top half of his face. His hair stuck to his head and neck. His bangs were sticking up, pushed out of his unusually wary eyes.
"Are you ok?" she asked. "What happened?"
"No, I'm fine," he said, taking a step back and staring at the sky. The image of his mangled body flashed through her mind again, and suddenly her throat was too tight for air. Her heart beat harder and she could feel it in her temples. No-she couldn't think about that. It wasn't real. This was-this fight is what was real. The people she was protecting; they were real. She couldn't let herself get frightened like this.
"Here," Marinette held the lasso out to Cat Noir. "I need you to shoot this at the Akuma's neck. Just knock him out, it won't hurt him. He won't be able to sing anymore."
"So?" He coiled the lasso into a manageable circle.
"It won't be able to summon nightmares anymore." Marinette surveyed the area for the Akuma. The Makara continued to turn and shift behind her, crushing houses underneath it. The police pegasi flew around it, and the police threw buckets of explosives and liquid nitrogen on it in hopes of slowing it down. Nothing was working.
"Are you sure about that?" Cat Noir questioned, pointing out the Akuma making its way to the Seine.
"No, but it's the best plan we have right now!" Marinette snapped. She pulled out her yo-yo and got ready to head towards the Akuma with her partner.
"Where do you think you're going?" Cat Noir demanded. "It's a waste if both of us go after the Akuma-the police can't handle this Makara by themselves. Every time they get close, they piss their pants."
"I'm not letting you go alone!" Marinette shot back. "It's dangerous, it...it gets inside of your head. I won't let you go alone."
"Oh, but you can go alone?" Cat Noir challenged. "I can do it; we're a team, remember? Go take care of the Makara, I'll handle the Akuma myself."
"But-"
"No. The Makara's dangerous. The police need you." Damnit, she couldn't even argue with him. He was right. She grabbed his arm and he looked down at her.
"Be safe." Marinette said.
He nodded. "Yeah." He moved to the edge of the roof, but she grabbed his arm to stop him.
"No. Promise me-be safe."
Cat Noir looked at her for a moment, a look of complete understanding on his face. He smiled down at her and patted her hand. "Yeah. I promise."
Cat Noir bounded off to detain the Akuma, and Marinette took off towards the Makara. This one was one of the stupider looking ones. It looked like a tire, but covered in scales. It left behind a purple slime on whatever it touched, and no one had figured out exactly what the slime did yet.
As she moved closer to the Makara, the smell got stronger. It was a much stronger scent than the Makaras usually had. It was also larger than usual, and would be more difficult to subdue. It was a wheel, exactly like a tire, and it rolled over buildings like a monster truck would crush a mini cooper.
Marinette swung herself down to street-level and threw her yo-yo towards the Makara, going through the center hole to wrap around the tire. She willed magic into her legs and planted her feet into the slime. The purple slime crawled up her legs, seeming to prick the skin underneath, and sweat gathered on the back of Marinette's neck. Her feet heated and glowed, and the slime seemed to evaporate, somewhat.
The tire continued to roll forward, but Marinette pulled back, forcing more magic into her legs and back. The Makara stopped, and the police moved forward with liquid nitrogen, ice, and road tacks. They weren't able to get very far. As soon as they went too close to the purple slime, they froze, only able to come to their senses again when other cops pulled them back. It would have been useless anyway. Only another Miraculous weapon could damage the Makara. Marinette only had one Lucky Charm left, and Cat Noir was still off fighting the Akuma.
Marinette pulled back on the yo-yo and ran to the side, behind a building. She lengthened the string and circled the building, tying the string to itself, trying to keep the Makara in place by using the building as an anchor.
Then she ran to the Makara, trying to find it's head, or some sort of weakness. It was useless. The entire thing was exactly like a wheel, rolling through the city. There were no legs, there was no head, nothing. All she could do was hope Cat Noir had dealt some damage on it and try to continue with that.
She jumped up to the inner ring of the tire, wincing as her feet hit the hard, disk-like scales. If she wasn't wearing the suit, they would have sliced her feet open, she was sure. She'd have to be careful to keep the scales away from her face and neck.
She could hear the police shouting at each other to evacuate, and the tire was beginning to move forward again. The building her yo-yo was wrapped around was breaking, falling apart bit-by-bit.
"Lucky Charm!" Her hands glowed and then she had a large crowbar in her hands. She slammed it down by her feet, The scale didn't so much as crack. Marinette growled in frustration. She tried a different scale. Same result.
"Tikki!" She scowled as she hit the scale again. "This isn't working!"
"Don't blame me, Marinette," Tikki sounded so nonchalant that Marinette felt her blood boil. "You're the one who's fighting; I'm not even doing anything."
The tire jerked forward, and Marinette's face slammed into the tire's scale. She felt it slice into her chin and nose. The sirens continued to blare, the Akuma's song somehow still able to be heard over it. The rain was beginning to die down, but the night was still bitter cold. And now, she was bleeding.
"This is shit!" Marinette screamed, scanning the inner layer of the tire. The tire started to slowly roll, and she ran to stay on the bottom. It was humiliating, and she felt like a hamster.
"That one looked loose," Tikki noted, and Marinette spotted the specific scale she was talking about. "Maybe Cat Noir got that one?"
Marinette stuck the crowbar between the weakened scale and the one next to it and pulled. Nothing happened. The tire kept rolling. "This is the stupidest shit! I'm losing a fight with a goddamn tire!"
"Yeah, imagine what Mei would say."
Marinette scowled and pulled again. Blood dripped down her chin. This was stupid. These stupid powers were useless. What good was being a superhero if she couldn't even defeat one Makara? What was the point of being this powerful if she couldn't save her partner, if she couldn't save her city and all the people in it?
She willed magic into her arms, and her muscles heated to an uncomfortable degree, a sign that she was using too much magic. She would pay the price later. She couldn't allow herself to stop fighting because of the fear of the consequences. The water on her suit evaporated away.
What kind of stupid magic had rules? This was complete bull shit.
Her body heated and she pulled . The scale wiggled, dented, then cracked. That was all she needed-just a crack was enough. She pulled the crowbar out and, aiming once, brought it down with all her might into the Makara's soft innards.
She wasn't exactly sure what was inside of the scales, but she knew it was pungent, and probably the source of all the slime. The second the crowbar plunged inside the tire's 'body,' a fountain of purple liquid sprayed out of it, landing in her hair and running down her back. Her scalp neck burned, and her back felt like pins were being pushed in.
The pain brought the reality of the situation back in. She was seventeen. She shouldn't have to worry about what this caustic purple liquid running down her back was. She shouldn't have had to wonder what it was, or if it would have lasting effects. She shouldn't have had to fight superpowered monsters attacking her home on a regular basis. The most she should have had to worry about was getting good grades, or whether or not she'd be able to make it to the next gang raid with her uncles. This was not what she was supposed to be thinking about!
Marinette pulled the crowbar back, and the purple slime flowed out of the wound even faster than before. She jammed the bar into the wound again and again, waiting for the Makara to scream and disappear. As the tire rolled, she was taken all the way around the inner circumference, like a ferris wheel. As she reached the top, she grabbed onto the dented and cracked scale, praying to everything she could think of that the scale wouldn't break. When she was far down enough for stable footing, she grabbed the bar again and smashed it into the hole again. This time, she missed.
She hit the cracked scale, which finally decided to give up. It shattered, and pieces fell into the wound. The bar only pushed the shards further in, and the Makara let out a pained wail. The goo turned a sick brown shade and bubbled, steaming in the cold night air.
Marinette backed away, panting in relief. It was almost over. She was so tired; she wanted to go home. The Markara started to dissolve, and a police pegasus flew next to her. The officer on it reached out and helped her onto the pegasus before lowering her to the ground. The police handed her some wet towels, but when it became apparent her hands were trembling too much for her to properly clean herself, they wiped the noxious purple slime off for her.
Cat Noir arrived moments after Marinette, Akuma in tow. It was completely silent, no dark figures around it. It was obviously unconscious, but the police stood on guard next to it. While he was waiting for Ladybug to get cleaned up, he pulled the butterfly out of the Akuma.
"You were right," Cat Noir said, shuffling closer to her. "No singing, no more nightmares. Didn't do anything about the other one's he'd left behind, though."
"I was really hoping it would make them disappear," Marinette mumbled, purifying the butterfly in Cat Noir's hand. The police began to go through the process of handling the Akuma victim. "What about the flat surfaces it blew on? The ones which pulled you into nightmare situations? Are those gone?"
"No such luck," Cat Noir grimaced. "All the surfaces the Akuma flew by are infected with nightmare fuel, but I got rid of all the shadow figures I could."
"Even the spiders?"
"There were spiders?" Cat Noir looked pained. A few officers looked at her warily as well.
"I really hope that was a joke, Ladybug," Officer Claude said. "I hate spiders."
"No joke. There were spiders-giant ones," Marinette confirmed, smiling a bit despite the circumstances. "The size of a big dog. One was bigger than a car!"
"You're making that up," Cat Noir said, turning away. His voice faded and quieted. "You're definitely making that up." His voice wavered, and some of the officers looked at him in irritation. Marinette glared at them. They weren't there. They didn't know what she and her partner had just been through.
Marinette stepped forward and put her hand on his shoulder. "Are you ok?"
Cat Noir's shoulder slumped and his muscle relaxed under her fingers. He turned, putting his hand over hers, and smiled. Marinette's heart fluttered a little, and she smiled back.
"Just fine." he said softly.
Something about his smile didn't sit right with her, though. It seemed artificial, or faked. Nothing like the look of sheer happiness he usually had on his face when he smiled.
"A-are you sure?" she asked. "I'm here for you. You can always-"
"Lean on you, yeah, I know," Cat Noir cut her off, sighing and moving away. Marinette's hand dropped. "Trust me. I'm fine." He turned and ran away before Marinette could correct him. Sure, he could lean on her. She knew he wouldn't. She was always here to listen, though. As Ladybug, and as Marinette.
(That night, the police issued a warning to people with severe arachnophobia to stay at home until all the shadow spiders were taken care of. Half of the police force called in sick for the foreseeable future and left their brothers and sisters in blue to deal with the mess. Exterminators were called in as honorary officers in the mean-time and were given special honors after all the shadow spiders were dealt with.)
Adrien fell onto the balcony of a condemned apartment building. The sirens were dying down. People would be allowed onto the streets soon. They would be going home, where they could spend the night together, with their families. He could imagine parents clinging their children to them all night, and small kids crying in their family's arms.
Once upon a time, Adrien would have been able to go to his dad and expect something like that. Not anymore. Now his father was too busy with work, and worrying over Emelie's disappearance.
Adrien sat, dangling his legs off the side and shivered in the cold. If he went home, he could be warm, dry, and surrounded by everything money could buy him. He would be miserable.
A gust of air blew by and he shivered. His ring beeped, and Plagg complained, wanting to go home. In the far distance, Adrien spotted multiple cranes from the construction going on just outside the city. A plane flew by overhead, and Adrien wondered for the millionth time if his mother had just run away instead of being kidnapped. He wished that were the case. Then he could find her and tell his father to just move on.
"Kid, I'm freezing," Plagg complained again. "Let's go home, you can mope in your room as you're taking a nice warm shower."
Adrien sighed and started to stand up, but made the mistake of looking across the street. The side of the building was an ugly gray color, but it faintly glowed. Adrien watched, transfixed, as it shifted, and the colors changed.
His mother stood next to him in a solid white room. She'd never allowed him to call her 'Mommy.' She told him that was an undignified way of speaking to her. It was always Mother. He hadn't minded, she was his mother, why wouldn't he call her that?
She looked like she always did-tall, collected, perfect. Her hair was gathered in a chignon bun, not a hair out of place. Her makeup was perfect, not a blemish or dark spot on her face. Her clothes were pressed and perfect for the weather: a long black coat, straight tan trousers, and heeled boots. Her arms were crossed and she was looking at him expectantly.
"Well?" she asked. She couldn't have been more than three feet away from him, but she sounded so far away, like she was down a tunnel. "Aren't you coming to get me?"
The sound of her voice had never comforted him, but it had never given him such a sense of unease before, either. He shifted, looking behind him.
"Adrien," his dad greeted warmly. "What are you doing over there?"
"He's miserable without me, you know," Adrien's mother said. She stepped back. Adrien turned back to Gabriel.
"Dad?"
"Come here," his dad invited. "I've missed you."
"He's missed me more," his mother said coolly. "Why don't you ask him?" Adrien watched as she moved further still. On his other side, his dad was coming closer.
"Adrien?" his dad reached him and looked at him in concern. He felt his forehead and tsk-ed. "Did you stay up too late reading again? You've got a fever."
"Go on. Ask him. Are you afraid of his answer?" Her voice echoed, barely there. Adrien refused to turn and face her. If he did, his dad might notice her. He just wanted her to go away.
"Adrien, come rest." Gabriel guided Adrien away from where Mother had once stood. Adrien's heart pounded in his chest. In just a few moments, it would be just him and his dad. His Mother would just be a bad nightmare.
"Yeah, ok. Sorry, I won't stay up late anymore." Adrien said, trying to hurry his dad's pace. Gabriel continued at his leisurely pace and chuckled.
"Like I haven't heard that before."
"I'll do it for you, Son," Mother's voice was like a whisper, and it shot shards of ice-cold fear down his back. He froze, and his dad looked at him, worried. Mother was no longer in sight, but her voice got stronger. "Since you're so afraid."
"No!" Adrien called out, grabbing onto his dad's arm. His dad was here with him, now-finally. Why was she doing this to him? Why couldn't his dad just forget about her? "Don't take him away again!" It was already too late.
"Gabriel!" Mother's voice pierced through the air. "I'm over here!"
Gabriel left, snatching his arm away from Adrien without a thought. In seconds, he was gone, and Adrien was left alone.
Adrien was shocked back into his senses. He looked around, trying to figure out exactly what had happened, but he was too disoriented to really figure anything out. All he could focus on was the pain in his chest. He knew what he'd just seen wasn't real-it was as fake as the shadow figures he'd gotten rid of before. It felt much more real, though.
Adrien shakily got to his feet and extended his baton. He wouldn't be going to the Agreste mansion. He would be going home-somewhere he knew he would be listened to and understood. Somewhere he was always wanted.
Adrien shot through the sky, trying to keep out of view of the crowds of people pushing their way home. It was late, it was cold, and everyone was in a bad mood. He could hear the arguments as he flew through the air.
He approached the house. With the safe feeling it brought in him, the tears came closer to the surface. He landed on the balcony, opened the window, and let himself into Marinette's room.
She was laying face-down on her bed. She didn't so much as twitch when he entered. He walked to her, worried.
"Marinette?" he asked. "Are you alright?" He swallowed. She didn't answer. He reached out and shook her arm. "Marinette!" She wasn't a very heavy sleeper; she was usually up as soon as he entered her room. What happened? "Wake up!"
"No." she groaned. "It hurts."
"What hurts?" Adrien moved to the other side of the bed, trying to see her face. "What happened? Did you get hurt in the attack? Weren't you in a bunker?"
With seemingly great effort, Marinette turned her head to face him. Adrien's heart skipped a beat.
"What happened to your face?" Her nose and chin were scabbed over now, but he would bet there were streaks of blood on her pillow. He was afraid to touch her face with his claws, especially when he was so shaken up. He could just hurt her more, and then she wouldn't be able to stand his presence, just like his father.
"I fell on something coming back," Marinette said, squeezing her eyes shut in pain. "There's an en suite bathroom. Can you get me some pain meds?"
"Yeah! Don't move" Adrien jumped into action. He knew exactly where she kept her first aide, he'd helped patch her up after all her spars with Sabine. He grabbed the entire box and brought it to Marinette's side. He helped her sit up, wincing when she grimaced in pain.
"Hey, this is nothing," she mumbled, noticing his look. "I'm just being a baby because it's late and I'm tired."
"No, you're just acting tough so you don't worry me," Adrien said. "Don't you have a thing against lying?"
"Yeah, but I have a bigger thing against that look on your face," she said, downing a couple of pain medication pills. Adrien rummaged through the first aid box. He found the bandaids, but where was the antiseptic? What had happened to her? Why was everything going wrong? He went through the box again, ripping apart the gauze and dumping half the contents on the floor.
"Hey, Cat Noir, chill," Marinette said. She grabbed his hand and it was only then that he realized how violently he was shaking. "Everything's ok with me. I already did that, I just don't wear band-aids at night. What happened to you?"
"Nothing."
Marinette was silent for a second, and Adrien wasn't sure if he hoped she would believe him or not. He had originally come here to talk to her, to feel better. But now that he'd calmed down, now that he thought about it, he wasn't sure if he wanted her to know all that. What would she think, what would she do? Could he really expose himself like that to her? Yes, he liked her and trusted her with his life, but did he trust her with his secrets?
"I was on the Ladyblog earlier," she said. "I read about the reported powers of the Akuma and Makara. Did you see something? Are you ok?"
And that was it. He couldn't hide from her even if he wanted to. She wasn't the kind of person to just let things slide. Even if she knew someone didn't want to talk about something, she was the kind of person to push and prod until they caved and told her everything. Resistance would be futile.
"Yeah," he said. His voice thickened so he cleared his throat. He tried to pull away from her, but she wouldn't let go of his hand. He came here, and now he was stuck, for better or worse.
"What did you see?" she asked as delicately as she could. It wasn't very gentle, but at least she was trying.
He opened his mouth, but before he could speak, Marinette had him pulled in a tight hug. He hugged her back, and the first tear fell. Then another. He gasped, trying to keep it in. He came here to talk, not blubber all over her.
"Don't do that," she whispered, rubbing his back. It had been so long since he'd been held like that, he buried his face in her shoulder. "Let it out, it's ok."
He wasn't sure why he felt like he needed permission, but suddenly the pressure of everything became too much, and he burst like a dam. All the fear, the anxiety, the sadness and anger burst out of him. He didn't even try to speak, all he could do was sob and cry in Marinette's arms. She held him close, letting him go on as long as he wanted.
It felt like minutes, but it must have been at least an hour before his tears finally ran out. It left him exhausted, and he appreciated that she hadn't once said anything, or once let go of him. Her strong arms around him felt like a comforting presence, like she would fight anything for him, and she would stand with him no matter what. He couldn't say how much longer they stayed like that, but he knew it was time to let go when his ring beeped in warning and he de-transformed in front of her.
He froze, unsure of what to do. He couldn't just leave now, could he? How could he get out of this without revealing his identity to Marinette? What was he supposed to do now? All the anxiety he'd just let go of began to build up in him again, and his breathing escalated.
Marinette lightly slapped him on the shoulder. "Shut up now," she said lightly. "My eyes are closed. You can leave if you want to, or you can stay. I won't look, but I'll listen. I'm always here for you."
Adrien swallowed. His brain felt foggy, but he had to choose, what was he going to do? "Do...do you have anything to eat?" His voice was so thick it sounded like someone else was speaking. "I just need to recharge and I can transform again."
"Sure. Give me a second and I'll be right back for you. Lay face-down on the bed." Adrien did so. As soon as she was gone, he lifted his head and looked at her pillow. Like he thought, spots of blood stained the white cotton. His heart felt heavy in his chest. Here he was, a superhero, and he couldn't even protect the girl he liked. Hell, forget protecting her-he'd gone to her in his time of need. She'd be better as Cat Noir than he could ever be. If only she'd been given the Miraculous instead. Pisces probably would've been caught already if Marinette was on the case.
Someone knocked on the door, and Adrien lay face-down on the bed again.
"Here, I got some break and some cookies. I wasn't sure what you'r-you were in the mood for." Adrien felt her sit on the bed next to him. "My eyes are closed. Do what you want."
Adrien got up and Plagg popped out of his pocket, bee-lining to the bread. Adrien watched him eat half of the loaf before he mumbled "Claws out," and transformed back into Cat Noir.
"I'm back in costume," Cat Noir said, and Marinette opened her eyes. Adrien smiled at her. "Hey. That bread was really good. Did you make it?"
She wasn't about to let herself be distracted. "What happened?"
"It's complicated." Adrien sighed and ruffled his obnoxiously long hair. He noticed Marinette watching and smirked, remembering that she actually liked his long, black hair.
"Even if you just want to vent and don't want to explain anything, I'm here." Marinette didn't sit up from her spot on the bed. Adrien squirmed in his spot slightly, eventually moving so his right side faced her, and he was sitting at the edge of the bed. It took a few seconds, but he finally spoke.
"I'm afraid."
Marinette didn't miss a beat: "Of what?" It didn't sound like she was curious. It was almost like she already knew, but was just asking so he admitted it to himself. But that was ridiculous. If she'd known, she never would've been his friend. Adrien took in a deep breath.
"I'm afraid...If I tell you everything, would you leave me? Would you hate me? What if you just confirm what I'm scared of?"
"I'm not going to force you to tell me," Marinette said. Adrien would have laughed if he was feeling better. She obviously didn't know herself very well. For whatever reason, she was convinced she wasn't very nosy. One day he'd have to break it to her that she was the single most intrusive person he knew. "If you trust me enough to break into my room, you might try trusting me enough to know that I won't abandon you no matter what."
The way she spoke, like she knew no matter what he said, like she would stay by him always, bothered him. Once upon a time, his dad had been like that. His dad had been his best friend, and now he was like a stranger to him. She didn't know everything, and he was about to prove it to her: "I'm a monster," Adrien cried. "My mother's been missing for years, and I hope she stays gone!" There, he'd said it. It was out in the air now. There was a moment of silence. Adrien could feel her eyes on his face, but he refused to look at her.
"Why?" It was the curious, neutral way she asked which made it so easy to speak. He didn't look at her, he just spoke to the wall, growing more and more animated as he spoke.
"She was never there for me, she was always pressuring me to be someone I couldn't be, someone better than what I could be. She was never supportive, or kind, or helpful in any way! When she went missing, I didn't notice for a week. My dad's...employee had to tell me, because nothing had changed for me!
"For whatever reason, my father loves her. Since she's been gone, he's changed. He won't spend time with me, he won't even look at me. I think he wishes I would've gone missing rather than my mom. When I hear him talking about her-I hate her!
"I'm turning into an emotionless monster, and it's all her fault." He squeezed his eyes shut and fisted his hair, pulling at it to relieve the tension in his body. "If only I'd never been born. What did I do to deserve this? I've tried everything to make up for my shortcomings, to help my dad and try to get him to move on from her with me. What is it about her that makes her better than me? Why can't I compare?"
"Well I hate to speak badly about someone who's potentially dead, but your mom's a bitch, and your dad's an asshole," Marinette said. "There's nothing more to it. You're their child. It's their job to make you feel loved and wanted. If they failed, then that's on them, not you. It was never your fault, and it never will be, no matter what anyone says. You got that?"
"But, she's my-"
"Your mom, yeah. And you hate her. That's not illegal. You're not some monster. No one's been killed for hating their mom, especially if she's this horrible. Quit blaming yourself for her actions, it's stupid."
There was silence. Marinette didn't try to fill the silence, and neither did he. Adrien needed to think. Of course, Chloe had told him thousands of times that it wasn't his fault, but it was never this abrasive.
When Adrien was young, adults always treated him like a child, which was just another way of treating him like he was an idiot. They always gave him soft placations, saying they'd handle anything difficult in his life. His dad had been one of the only people to talk to him like he could understand what he was talking about. He'd always appreciated the direct, no-nonsense approach.
Marinette never tried to fool anyone and act soft and nice. She was a kind person, but in a rough way. Somehow, that toughness made whatever she was saying seem more like a fact and less like a placation. It was easier to actually believe her than it was to accept that Chloe had been telling him for years.
"Marinette?" He finally looked at her. She was watching him closely, but she didn't seem worried that what she said might have hurt his feelings. She was just waiting for him to process what she'd said, and respond.
"Yeah?" she asked.
"Thanks." He would never be able to tell her as Adrien, and he'd never be able to tell Chloe that Marinette had finally gotten through to him. There was no way she'd ever be able to know how much he appreciated everything he did for her, or how much he loved how she always seemed to know how to get through to him. She would never know just how amazing he thought she was.
"Shut up, I don't need your thanks. Next time you come over, though, bring some lidocaine patches. My body is killing me."