A rhythmic snapping brought me back to my current reality. Opening my eyes, I found Rey leaning over me, her hazel eyes curiously trailing my face. She was snapping her fingers in front of me, her hand waving back and forth. "Universe to El. You still with us?" she asked.
I inhaled sharply and leaned back in my seat, twisting my sore neck around, my muscles protested the movement. Rey smiled meekly and stepped back, her brow cocked as she continued to watch me uneasily. I took a moment to glance around, and jolted forward in shock. From the porthole, I could see nothing but a silken sheet of empty darkness. My stomach flipped and I felt my chest tighten with panic, but as the ship rotated, my home planet came into view. Numbly fumbling at my waist, I unbuckled and stood, placing my hands on the seats in front of me — I leaned between Han and Chewbacca to get a better view. I couldn't believe it, I could actually see my home planet, and it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. The enormous blue orb that was my home planet almost glowed in the pitch-black darkness of space. I looked at Rey, my eyes burning with tears, and tried to express what I was feeling — but there were no words.
"It's incredible isn't it," she said, a grin overtaking her lips.
I chuckled disbelievingly, shaking my head at the sheer magnitude of what I was seeing — something I never thought would be possible for me, and grinned. "Incredible doesn't feel like the right word," I said.
Chewbacca grumbled, pressing a few dials in front of him, and Han turned in his seat, glancing up at Rey expectantly. "We still going to Takodana?" he asked.
Rey patted the back of their seats, excitedly humming in affirmation. She turned to me and her face lit up like the brightest of Corellian days. "Of course. That's where the Force is urging us to go. Can you feel it, El?" she said, bouncing lightly.
I rolled my bottom lip between my teeth and lowered my head, closing my eyes. I searched for the annoying buzz that had been suspiciously absent since I had woken and winced as my eardrums started to pound and my eyes began to water. I felt a wave of motion sickness pass over me as the hair-raising buzzing started up again. It was like a hive of bees had set up shop in my brain. "Yeah, I feel it," I said, pressing a hand against my stomach. I was sure I looked green and wondered if she noticed.
"We have to stop by my freighter first. As soon as I grab what I need we can head there," Han said, turning around to flip a few switches on the panel.
"I thought this was your ship?" I said, tilting my head in confusion.
"Rey, why don't you fill her in," Han absentmindedly said, waving his hand toward the ladder behind us. I could tell he was trying to get rid of us and felt my lips twitch in amusement.
"Follow me Elara," Rey said, taking my hand.
With a small smile, I waved goodbye to Han and Chewbacca and allowed Rey to lead me outta the cockpit. "Wanna meet the rest of us?" Rey said, a short giggle slipping past her smile, and she blushed — covering her face.
I smirked, and couldn't help but wonder who she was talking about. I remembered Han speaking to someone called Finn, and was excited to meet whoever had caught my Rey of sunshine's attention.
We made our way through two tight grey corridors lined with containers of beat-up supplies, then turning a corner, Rey led me toward the back of the ship. Sitting on a chair in what appeared to be a guest room, was a tall dark-skinned man. He was handsome and had a kind face.
"El this is Finn, we met on Jakku. He used to be a Stormtrooper," she said, gesturing toward him. She plopped down in the seat next to his, and smiled brightly, her eyes never leaving him; I could see how proud of him she was.
"Stormtrooper?" I confusedly asked, taking a seat in front of them.
They both glanced at me in surprise, shock lighting up their features, and their eyes widened fearfully. I furrowed my brows, quickly becoming annoyed by their silence. I was angry with my own ill understanding of most everything in my new world. I crossed my arms over my chest uneasily and bit the inside of my cheek. Finn's jaw slackened and he turned to Rey, understanding smoothing the lines on his face.
"She doesn't know about the First Order," Finn said.
Rey's expression softened and her eyes clouded with sadness. "I guess it's time to fill you in," she said, exhaling exhaustedly.
After Rey finished I felt ill. My cool damp skin prickled as my unease mounted. I couldn't believe I'd missed such war and carnage. I could have been helping; I felt like a coward. The worst part was finding out who Kylo Ren really was. I knew he could be terrifying, and that the Force warned me to be careful around him, but I would have never guessed what evil he stood for. Why had the Force brought me to him when I wanted to feel safe? Or better yet, why did I feel safe around him; what did that say about me? I wanted to curl up and cry, but I wouldn't, because I knew the truth now. I would have nothing to do with the dark side. Starting now I would help the rebellion; I would fight the First Order, and if need be, Kylo Ren.
"Ellie, you ok?" Finn said.
I sniffed and quickly wiped my nose, shaking out my hands beside me. "Ellie?" I questioned.
Finn shrugged, a sweet smile warming his face, and he leaned forward, placing his hand on my shoulder. "I thought it suited you better. You don't look like an El to me," he said.
I placed a hand on the one he held atop my shoulder and smiled. "I like it," I said reassuringly.
Turning to Rey, I searched her bright gaze and was surprised to find my feelings reflected there. It was kind of nice, not being the only one to feel like I should have done more. We had hidden ourselves and our gifts away, and that was wrong.
"I'll fight with you both. I'm not going to hide anymore," I said with conviction.
Rey smiled, her nose twitching as her smile widened, revealing her snow-white teeth. A mischievous glint shone in her eyes. "I'd be honored to fight with you Elara. I always enjoyed our sparring."
I grinned at the memory, of children sparring in their dreams. Every night I would teach her what I had learned from my father during daily lessons, and when we were done, she would teach me what she was learning as a scavenger. I silently thanked the Force for the gift that was Rey. I couldn't lose her again and with all, I had learned about the First Order, and the war we were about to become a part of, that could very easily happen — if I didn't do all I could to protect her. There was no way I would take chances with Rey's life.
"Rey, I could use a few minutes if you guys don't mind," I asked, fumbling with my sweaty hands. I needed time to collect myself and say goodbye to Kylo Ren.
"Sure. Finn let's go see how far we are from the freighter," she said, rising and taking Finn's hand.
I nodded in gratitude and sat back in my seat. I could hear Rey and Finn's retreating steps and sat silently until the sound became muffled and distant. Laying my head against the back of my seat, I closed my eyes, my nose scrunched up and my forehead tight. I folded my hands in my lap and tried to focus on the buzzing in my mind.
'Listen, I don't know who or what you are, but I need to tell Kylo goodbye. I need him to know why I won't be speaking to him again. Can you please help me, and then guide me in breaking whatever connection we have?' I inwardly asked.
I could feel the now familiar tug in my navel, and my mind was connected with Kylo's. I felt the extreme cold before I saw him and my body tensed. In another abnormally bright, pure white room, Kylo was kneeling. His body was positioned directly in front of a tall, thin pedestal. His neck and back were rigid with stress, his head bowed. Like always, during my visits with Kylo, deep inside I felt a bright flame burst to life and an urgent desire to comfort him. Folding my hands into fists, I wrapped my arms around myself, seeking warmth and comfort. I ignored the incessant flame; sadly he was my enemy now.
"I can feel you Elara. Now isn't the time," he said, his body remained stiff and unmoving in front of the pedestal.
I took a few silent steps forward and was surprised to find that the pedestal contained an old, severely damaged, black mask. The metal was twisted and deformed. My breathing stuttered and the hair on my arms stood on end. It only took me a moment to figure out who it must have belonged to. I pressed my palms onto my stomach, hoping to stop my hands from trembling.
"I won't be here long. I've only come to tell you this is the last time I'll be visiting," I said, my voice trembling, and I winced at my weak imitation of strength.
Even now after learning who he was, I didn't fear him, but I still knew the right thing for everyone involved was for me to distance myself. He wasn't ready to change and I couldn't force him to.
Kylo lifted his head and chuckled mirthlessly. "You know who I am then?" he asked, rising to his feet and turning to greet me.
Swallowing deeply, I nodded, shuddering as he released another dark mechanical chuckle. Angry that he had once again chosen to hide behind his mask, I took a quick step forward and with a shaky hand, I searched deep - seeking permission from the Force. When I felt a wave of acceptance wash over me, I reached up, grazing his mask with my fingertips. I grimaced, the cold metal sent chills down my spine. I felt his posture stiffen further but pressed on. I found a series of buttons on the side and pressed the top one, releasing a relieved breath when a loud hissing reverberated off the walls. I pulled the mask away and let the cold hunk of metal fall to our feet. I looked deep into his dark brown eyes and searched for even the smallest hope that he was more than what Rey had said the feared Kylo Ren was. My breath caught in my throat at the sight of him. His pale skin was red and blotchy. The purple bags under his dark eyes were proof that sleep had been evading him for far longer than was healthy. The coldness in his eyes caught me by surprise and I felt my will crumbling. All I wanted to do was comfort him.
"Yes, I know who you are," I said.
Surprisingly, I felt the Force compelling me to keep going and a name was offered - the warmth of it welcome in this frozen wasteland. With a brief moment of confusion, I let the name fall from my lips. "Ben?" I whispered.
Kylo looked down at me in shock, which was soon replaced by fierce anger. "That isn't my name. Ben Solo is dead," he spat, taking a heavy step backward.
I followed him, unwilling to let him escape that easily, and placed my hand on his cheek — my expression falling into one of saddened understanding. "I don't doubt that," I said.
He threw my hand from his face and stumbled backward. His chest was heaving from his labored breathing, and I looked away, shutting myself off from the horrific anger displayed in his eyes. Then realization had me glancing up at him in surprise. "Solo? You're Hans' son," I said, a scoff bursting from me. Of course, he was. It seemed everything in my life these days was connected in some odd way.
Kylo's eyes narrowed and he stepped forward, leaning down to tower over me. "How do you know Han Solo?" he questioned.
I brushed away his question, dread pooling in my stomach at what I had accidentally revealed. "He is a friend." I waved my hand out beside me nonchalantly and stepped closer. "That's not what's important. I came here to say goodbye," I said, almost begging him to latch onto the change of subject.
Kylo raised his hand, his fingers flicking in irritation - as if he was brushing me away like dust - and stepped around me, his expression filled with fire. "Then say it," he bit out.
Anger was radiating from him; I could see such hate in his eyes and it broke my heart to know it was directed at me. I watched him for a moment, his red cheeks and wild tremulant eyes. "Goodbye Ben," I mumbled.
I could barely breathe, I never thought it would be so hard to utter such a simple sentence. My eyes burned and my throat felt raw as I held back my tears. Kylo stiffly stood in front of the door, his back to me, and a with a quick rush of air, his body jolted. He swiftly turned on his heel, his cloak swishing behind him, and he stumbled towards me — his expression stormy. "You could come to me. You know the truth now; you know what I can offer you," he said, his hand hovering next to my cheek.
I looked away from his pleading stare. My heart was aching. The longer I stood in front of him, the colder I became. I could feel something dark wrap around me. I'd never felt such power before. It felt amazing but so wrong. I could see the faces of my friends flash before my eyes. Rey, Han, Finn, Chewbacca. Could I betray them for Kylo? There was a flicker in the Force as he tried to touch me, his powerful lifeforce buzzed brightly, mixing with mine momentarily before a surge of acceptance almost took my breath away. I took a step back in shock as his cool skin met mine. His fingers slipped from my skin and I saw a spark of disappointment light up his eyes.
He could touch me?
A wicked smile graced his lips, and he quickly closed the space between us. Reaching out, he gently cupped my cheeks in the palms of his hands. The feel of his skin on mine was intoxicating. Without thinking, I brought myself closer to him and met his gaze. What I saw made me want to cave. He was looking at me with such hope in his dark eyes, I could see that he was tired of being alone. He needed someone, someone who wouldn't use him or treat him like an extension of his grandfather or uncle. Could I be that for him?
For just a moment, just a single heartbeat, I imagined myself saying yes. I imagined going to him, allowing him to teach and guide me. The buzzing inside me intensified and a vision of myself cloaked in darkness flashed before my eyes. A red saber in my hand, I saw the bodies of everyone I cared about lying at my feet. The only color I could see was red and bright blinding white. Everything was dark with only brief splashes of color. There was no more sun, no more warmth.
I gasped, I knew my answer, and even though I felt confident in it, my heart ached.
"Ben, I'm so sorry; I can't be what you need. I can't live in the dark," I cried.
I saw his face fall and all hope left his eyes. "Then we are enemies Elara," he said.
I stepped away from him and wiped the tears from my face. "I guess we are. Goodbye Kylo," I said.
The last thing I heard before I was transported away was, "Goodbye El."
I was crying as I came to. I had never felt so broken. It was as if I could feel his pain along with mine; Gut-wrenching sadness. I begged whatever was inside me to break the connection we shared, to stop the pain. I could feel a twinge of regret somewhere deep inside as I realized that it was impossible. It would only end in the event of one of our deaths. I inwardly scoffed; it will most likely be mine. I had only seen flashes of what he could do, but I was sure I was no match for him. I sat forward and took a long deep breath, I was being weak and I hated it. I felt the Falcon lurch forward and I fell on my hands and knees. What the hell? I stood up and ran to the cockpit. This couldn't be good. I saw Rey and Finn leaving the cockpit with a small white, orange, and silver droid in tow.
"It's ok Ellie, we just landed inside the freighter," Finn assured me.
Rey smiled and bent down to the droids level, nudging her head in its direction. "This is the other occupant of the Falcon, BB-8. BB-8, this is Elara," she said, pointing to me.
BB-8 beeped cheerily and I bent down on one knee. I placed my palm atop the dorid and closed my eyes; I felt the Force surround myself and the chatty droid.
"Are you ok Ellie?" the small droid beeped.
I jumped, a bright smile overtaking me, and laughed. "I can understand you. That's so cool. I see my new nickname has caught on," I said.
Finn ran his hand over the back of his neck with a sheepish twitch of his nose and shrugged. Glancing down at the droid, he frowned, his forehead wrinkling. "How can you understand him?"
Rey nudged me, an understanding grin on her face. "The Force can be so cool," she said, sighing dreamily.
I clapped my hands together, giggling. "Yes, it can be. BB, I'm completely ok. Just had something I had to do, Force stuff," I chuckled, waving away his worry.
Rey raised a brow at me in question and I avoided her gaze. BB-8 beeped enthusiastically at my abbreviation of his name. Han and Chewie bustled down the corridor, concern on their faces. I inwardly rolled my eyes, I knew something wasn't right.
"I think we have a problem," Han said.
Chewie growled, his paws waving around frantically, and he continued out of the ship. Han stiffly joined our small group, his back ramrod straight, and eyes crinkled with stress. My vision swam with memories of Kylo Ren. I felt my heart hammer in my chest. The similarities between Han and his son were distracting. I shook it off and avoided looking at Han as much as possible.
"I think we have a Rathtar loose on the freighter," Han said.
"Wait-what?! Did you just say Rathtar?" Finn hollered in wild concern.
My brows rose, I was confused by Finn's obvious fear and concern. I had no clue what a Rathtar was, but Finn's fear was palpable - so it couldn't be good. We all followed Han out of the Falcon and onto the freighter. He made his way to a control panel on the other side of the Falcon and began typing furiously. Chewbacca hovered beside the panel, his gaze wavering between Han and the freighter's main door.
"You're not hauling Rathtars on this freighter, are you? Tell me youre not hauling Rathtars!" Finn said, his concern rising.
I wanted to laugh nervously at how scared he was, his eyes bright and wide, his cheeks puffed out and red with exertion but the look on Rey and Hans's face told me not to — that fear was the logical emotion to have right now.
"I'm hauling Rathtars," Han said, turning to look at Finn with irritation.
A loud ringing alarm sounded and the panel lit up. Han quickly turned back toward the display and we all gathered around as he ran his fingers across the panel. It showed us a view of the entire ship, including the exterior. A transport was landing on the freighter, and fear began radiating off of Han as well as Finn.
"Great, this should be fun!" Note the sarcasm. Reaching down, I felt along my belt and started to grind my teeth together in frustration; my saber wasn't there. Crap! I must have left it on the Falcon. Opening the palm of my hand, I held out my arm and called out to it as I had in my cottage. I saw the surprise on Finn's face as my saber flew out of the Falcon and into my waiting hand. I shrugged and placed it on my belt, Rey giggled almost silently, shaking her head in amusement.
"It's the Guavian Death Gang — they must've tracked us from Corellia," Han said as he turned and headed further into the freighter, Chewbacca following behind.
"What's a Rathtar?" Rey asked, apparently as blind as I was.
"They're big and dangerous..." Han answered as he led us into a room lined with cargo containers.
"You ever hear of the Trillia Massacre?!" Finn squeaked.
"No," Rey and I answered together.
"Good," Finn said as we turned a corner.
Han led us to a large hatch in the floor situated in the middle of the hallway, and Chewbacca stood off to the side, a sleek black crossbow of sorts in hand. Han glanced around quickly and lowered to his knees, lifting the hatch open with a grunt. "Get below deck and stay there until I say so — don't even think about taking the Falcon," Han threatened, his gaze trained on Rey. My eyes widened in surprise; there was a story there and I was dying to know it.
Rey rolled her eyes, her lips twitching, and she followed Finn below. With a sudden rush of air, her head popped back up, and her eyes scanned the hall until they landed on BB-8. "What about BB-8?" she said.
"He stays with me - until I get rid of the gang, then you can have him back," Han answered, turning to shove me into the hatch.
I twisted away from his persistent fingers and reached out, snapping the hatch closed, ignoring Rey's questioning holler. "NO! I stay with you and the droid. You could use the help," I firmly said.
I felt protective of Han, and I would be damned if he got himself killed acting like a moron. Han huffed, his eyes narrowing angrily, but he could see I was serious. Chewbacca growled, an almost annoyed resigned sound, and Han grumbled under his breath. A loud bang echoed through the ship and BB slid behind my legs. I slipped my hand toward my belt and placed it atop my saber as a portal opened - and in walked six men. The leader was decked out in a suit while his gang wore uniforms and round face helmets.
"Han Solo. You are a dead man," the leader said.
I cocked a brow and loudly scoffed, lifting my saber from my belt and swiftly activating it. The leader's eyes widened as the yellow glow of my saber illuminated the angry scowl on my face. Han glanced over at me, an exhausted sigh falling from his lips, and he shook his head in warning. I minutely lowered my saber but kept it activated. BB-8 was nervously beeping, his head whizzing back and forth between us and the gang.
"Bala-Tak. What's the problem?" Han asked.
"The problem is we loaned you fifty thousand for this job," Bala-Tak angrily said.
I moved closer to Han, ready for a fight, but he took hold of my wrist and gave it a calming squeeze. "I heard you borrowed fifty thousand from Kanjiklub," Bala-Tak said, an angry smirk curling his lips.
"You know you can't trust those little freaks! How long have we known each other?" Han asked, trying to sweet-talk his way out of the situation.
I mentally facepalmed; I sensed this wouldn't end the way he hoped. "The question is how much longer will we know each other? Not long. We want our money back now!" Balak-Tak threatened.
I zoned out, the buzzing in my head igniting with a vengeance. I could sense Rey crawling in the space below us; she had a plan. I tried to focus on her, hoping to figure out what she and Finn were up to. My concentration was shattered when the gang leader pulled me into the conversation. I could sense the fear and confusion forming in Rey's thoughts before our connection broke.
"The girl you're with, is her name Elara? The First Order is looking for her and a droid just like that one. Along with two fugitives," Balak-Tak said, grinning maniacally.
Han briefly glanced at me, his eyes rounding in shock for only a moment before he shrugged indifferently, and placed his hand on his hip. Kylo was looking for me; I wondered what he had planned? We didn't exactly end things on good terms.
"That's not her name. As for the rest, first I've heard of it," Han said, attempting to protect us.
Bala-Tak rolled his eyes and glanced at the men to his right, snapping his finger and gesturing around. "Search the freighter," he said.
The gang lifted their stunners and headed down the hall, eyes scanning around in search of the fugitives - Finn and Rey. Balak-Tak stepped in front of me. "What's your name girl?" he asked.
I glared up at him, ignoring his question. "She's mute," Han said, crossing his arms.
I shielded my eyes in surprise, as banks of red and yellow lights started going off. Hans's eyes widened in fear and I inhaled deeply when Han whispered, "I have a bad feeling about this."
Crap, I knew this would end badly. All the lights came on again and I felt a mixture of deep fear and regret coming from Rey and Finn below us. Balak-Tak grabbed my arm, his dirty nails digging into my flesh.
"Kill them and take the droid. I've got the girl!" he hollered.
The men readied their guns, sneers plastered on their faces - and that's when all hell broke loose. A Rathtar appeared behind the gang. A scream built in my throat at the sight of the clay red enormous slug-like tentacled creature, but I bit it down. This was no time to break down from fear. The Rathtar grabbed two of the men and lifted them into the air. The men screamed as they were shoved into the creature's round mouth encircled with needle-sharp white teeth. The other gang members started running in terror, and I didn't exactly blame them. With wide eyes, I lifted my saber and slashed at Bala-Tak's arm. He screamed in pain and released me. I ran over to Han and Chewbacca and we all started running down the hall away from the Rathtar and its victims. As we went around the corner, one of the Death Gang pulled a gun on us. I almost laughed when Han quickly stepped forward punching him in the face. The man fell backward and was lifted away by an awaiting Rathtar. Shots flew past us and Han pulled me next to him, shoving me into a corner beside Chewbacca. Leaning against a wall next to the nearest door, Han started shooting at the remaining gang members.
"I got the door, cover us!" Han shouted, glancing at Chewbacca.
Chewbacca growled in acknowledgment, and as he exchanged blaster fire, I grabbed the gun from Han's waistband and began helping. Han grunted in surprise and his brows shuffled, a cocky grin lifted the corner of his lips before he got back to work. I chose to ignore him and leaned down on one knee next to Chewbacca. I'd never used a weapon like a blaster before and had to admit I loved it. The bright colorful lights and rapid-fire option it offered was both fun and useful
Han started working the controls on the door beside us and after only a few minutes, the door lifted, just as a blast hit Chewbacca in the shoulder.
"Chewie, are you ok?" I asked, holding my fire.
I couldn't lose anyone. They were the only friends I had. Han took Chewbacca's weapon and helped him into the hanger. He used the bow to shoot at the controls, effectively rendering them useless.
Han looked down at the bowcaster, and smirked "Wow, this is great. Come on!" he said, pulling Chewbacca's arm over his shoulder.
We all started running for the Falcon, and as we turned a corner, Finn and Rey joined us. I sent Rey a thankful vibe through the Force. I had been worried about her. She smiled as we ran up the ramp and into the Falcon.
"Close the door behind us," Han ordered Rey.
"You take care of Chewie!" he continued, throwing Chewbacca's arm over Finn's shoulder.
Finn lifted Chewbacca and winced as he started to growl in pain. Rey and Han bolted toward the cockpit and I helped Finn take Chewbacca to the guest quarters. We lowered him onto a chair and I glanced around helplessly, running my fingers through my hair.
"Finn, stay with him! I'll find the bandages," I said.
I ran over to the cabinets on the other side of the room and pulled open the drawers, a few nails chipping in my haste. I found the first aid kit hidden in the third drawer from the bottom and ran back to Finn and Chewbacca. The Falcon jolted and I tripped, my body sliding into Finn's as the ship tilted. Blowing a strand of hair from my eyes, I took hold of Finn's shoulder and pulled myself into the seat beside Chewbacca. Placing the kit in my lap, I flipped the lid open and scattered the contents onto the table in front of me. Chewbacca growled a deep menacing sound that sent the hairs on my arms standing on end, and I winced as he pawed at Finn — who was doing all he could to hold him still.
"Chewie, come on, man!" Finn hollered and leaned away. He glanced toward the hall that led toward the cockpit. "We need help with this giant hairy thing!" he yelled.
Scoffing lightly, I grabbed a clean cloth and a pack of bandages, and stood, swaying slightly as the Falcon tilted. I shot Finn a dirty look at the insult and took hold of Chewbacca's shoulder. I gently used the cloth to clean some of the dirt and blood from his wound and fur. He grumbled in pain and tried to wiggle away, a loud growl ringing in my ears. "Finn, keep him still!" I said, my breathing heavy from the strain of fighting against his strength.
The Falcon jostled my movements and I bared my teeth, my eyes crinkling in sympathy. A muffled yell momentarily pulled my attention and I lowered my head with a deep sigh. "You hurt Chewie, you're gonna deal with me!" Han yelled from the cockpit.
"Hurt him? He's trying to kill us!" Finn hollered, his neck arching to avoid Chewbacca's wildly swinging paw.
Chewbacca lifted his free arm and took hold of Finn's collar, roaring angrily in his face. Flecks of saliva landed on Finn's cheeks and his eyes bulged, his face paling considerably. I fell back onto the table behind me, my bloodied hands held out in front of me in shock. In my surprised state, I could help but laugh. To outsiders, I was sure we would look insane: Chewbacca holding Finn by the collar of his shirt, me sprawled out on the table in front of them — laughing hysterically. I sat up, my back aching, and held up my hands in surrender.
"Hold still Chewie; I'm almost done," I said, the laughter in my voice still evident.
He glanced down at me and released a snort of air through his nose, a disgruntled expression on his face. I moved my hands forward and back, my brows raised expectantly. Chewbacca's paw flexed around Finn's collar, and with a final growl of annoyance, he released him. Finn fell backward into his seat and rubbed his neck almost frantically. He ran his fingers along his collar wiggling his nose in distaste. Slowly standing, I lifted the bandage and showed Chewbacca that I meant him no harm. He grumbled, his eyes narrowing, but he remained still — lifting his arm to allow me access. I placed my knee on the edge of Finn's seat, smiling lightly when he quickly scooted away. I wrapped the bandage around Chewbacca's arm as gently as I could, fastening it with a few pieces of tape.
"And — we are done," I said, patting his paw.
The Falcon slowed, no longer throwing us from side to side, and Finn and I slouched back in our seats — blood covering our hands and clothes. After a short while, Han slipped down the hall to check on Chewbacca. His eyes narrowed as he knelt, his gaze scanning the bandage critically. I watched as they spoke together, and smiled. You could sense how deep a friendship they had. Chewbacca grumbled unintelligibly(at least to me), his good paw waving back and forth, and Han glanced over at me — a crooked grin on his face. He nodded softly, a thankfulness in his eyes that I was much too embarrassed to accept, and I shrugged — my cheeks burning. Noticing my hesitance, he wiggled his brows and shot a wink in my direction. He stepped off to the side and patted Finn on the shoulder, smirking at his disheveled appearance. "I think Rey wants to discuss Takodana with you," he said.
Finn weakly lifted his head and glanced down at his clothes with a grimace. "Yeah, let me get cleaned up and I'll head her way," he said.
Han nodded and headed back toward the cockpit. Finn rose to his feet and glanced down at me, his tired face scrunched up in question. I waved him away with a weak smile. Once he was sure I was okay, he headed down the hall to clean up. I sat back in my seat and enjoyed the near silence, the only sound came from Chewbacca's heavy breathing. It was finally peaceful, and I only then realized how much I missed that. I lifted my feet, curling them beneath me, and closed my eyes. I finally felt calm. I matched my breathing with the steady beating of my heart and was confused when my spine started to tingle uncomfortably, my peace interrupted by a sudden surge of anger. I inhaled sharply and sat forward, placing my fisted hand against my sternum. I glanced over at Chewbacca and was thankful to see he had fallen asleep. Quickly stumbling to my feet, I headed down the hall and found a quiet corner. I pressed my back against the wall and tried to steady my breathing. My blood felt like it was boiling and my skin was sticky with sweat. I knew the deep anger I felt wasn't coming from me or Rey, so that could mean only one thing, it was coming from Kylo. I harshly laid my head against the wall. He must have learned who I am traveling with and that we had escaped capture. With a deep sense of unease, I lowered myself to the ground and guiltily sent him a calming vibe through the Force. I hoped that it would help his anger subside, for both our sakes. I had promised myself that I would no longer help Kylo in any way, but the idea that he was in pain just didn't sit well with me. At the sound of footsteps, I glanced up, my gaze wary.
"Hiding away?" Han asked, standing above me with an expression that could melt steel. I felt another wave of guilt pass over me and pushed it down, focusing instead on rising to my feet without falling over. Han crossed his arms and glared down at me. "It's time you answer some questions, sweetheart. How does the First Order know about you, and what do they want with you?" he said.
I took a deep breath to steady myself and glanced over his shoulder at the empty hallway. "I think this is something we should discuss with everyone. It's a really long and complicated story," I said. Han stepped to the side and nudged me forward. I walked past him and felt another rush of anger that left me cold and shaky. This was going to be an awkward conversation and Kylo wasn't going to make it any easier.