Description:

Agatha and the Scarlet Witch have literally crashed into the hamlet of Storybrooke, ME. Wanda's mind is about to be blown...over and over. But everyone will need to keep their wits about them, for following our intrepid duo are forces both good...and eeeee-villll.

Author's notes:

I'd like to thank the following my good friend AXEe, Unusual_Raccoon who I gifted this story, mysticpendragon, madisonjohnson,Nat_Corneliawillow, raminninja101, and especially RubyRemusLupin and OnceUponAWerewolf, who I take are basically the same person. This is on top of all the people who have either liked or given kudos to this work. It makes my ancient heart proud and happy.

This is going to be a shorter story because I haven't been sleeping very well and I need to get some shut-eye. But the more comments from more people that I get, the quicker I can come up with chapter 6 of this.

Oh, and I have a nice little surprise at the end, so I'm getting all my notes taken care of right now. The usual disclaimers. I hope you enjoy it.

The morning after the night before...

The last time after the Harkness felt like this was sometime around 1961. Her paramour at the time was a Hollywood actress...she thinks her name was Judy. She was blonde, beautiful, and highly talented...and not just on the stage. It was a red Corvette somewhere on the outskirts of Los Angeles when they skidded and hit a tree. Agatha herself was merely shaken up and her driver had a few lacerations. The Corvette wasn't so lucky.

But when she hit that tree she blacked out. That had not happened to her often, but it was a weird sensation. But when she woke up, she woke up. Looking around the hospital room for her lover and thinking of an excuse for why the two are so close. But this time was different. It was not a hospital room, but the waiting room inside of her own mind. The one that housed Agnes when she was not out.

The place was uncharacteristically a mess. Pictures and furnishings were all askew, and the big TV screen on the wall simply had one of those Indian Head test patterns. She looked around and, indeed, there was Agnes trying to straighten up. The nosy housewife had her back to Agatha bent over. And the fact that greeted the Dark Witch as double vision turned into a single was amazing, to say the least. That vision probably was one of the reasons that Wanda Maximoff had fallen in love with both of her personas. That behind was, to say the least, remarkable.

Horniness, though, gateway to feeling like she had been sacked by Thanos right before throwing the hail-Mary. Agatha was still trying to get her bearings when her doppelganger turned around with one of those easy smiles she was famous for...

"Aggie, baby! Nice of you to join us!"

"Right...!" Ever since Wanda introduced the persona of Agnes into her body, Agatha became used to her doppelganger's almost overreaching cheerfulness. The noisy next-door neighbor had become the lighter side of the Dark Witch.

Agatha's powers definitely could work inside of her own mind, and she didn't know how much Agnes knew about how to handle what their shared body possessed. She was beginning to realize that she not only had to train Wanda but "Agnes" as well. A part of her knew she might come in handy, how she did not know. As a matter of fact, she was trying to figure out what had happened.

"I think it's after midnight," Agnes said, a little more discombobulated than she usually was. "It was about a couple of hours ago when you seem to think that you were Georgette of the Jungle and forgot to watch out for that tree!" At that point, Agatha knew that her brain was all right because Agnes was still about as sharp as a tack.

But a creeping worry started to build in Agatha. "Where's Wanda?" It was a mantra that the Dark Witch began to say over and over with ever-increasing amounts of frantic.

"Down, toots, down." "Agnes" seemed to have a calming effect on Agatha. "She's probably all right... I think it was only a few bumps and bruises." As they spoke, the giant screen on the wall started pixelating quickly. Words were coming forth as if two women were trying to gently wake someone up. It was very apparent to someone they were trying to wake up was Agatha herself. And as the screen became more viewable, it was also very definite who those people were.

On the right was with light skin and long dark hair. It was clear that the woman was lithe and athletic, with the look of someone who knew that the Kama Sutra was just a beginner's manual. On the left was another woman, long red hair like Wanda's only slightly darker. She also looked her body was gifted in just the right places. They were the most beautiful beings Agnes had ever seen in her relatively short existence. On the other hand, Agatha knew exactly who the two women encouraging the lifeless corporal body of the Dark Witch were.

You never forget two of your most passionate lovers.

"The one on the right is Ruby. She also goes by Red. She's a waitress. She's also Little Red Riding Hood...until the last few days of the month when she's the Big Bad Wolf." Agatha explained with a smirk.

"That a nice way of describing 'that time of the month, Aggs..."

"Nope...I'm not kidding. Notice the red hoodie? The color Red keeps her in check."

"Oh...kayyy..." Agnes was curious where this was going. Usually, there would be strait-jacket fittings at this point, but then the nosy neighbor realized that she was born of the mind of the Scarlet Witch and the Dark Witch was telling the tale. Soooo...

"And the redhead with the British accent and the rather large...err..ummm..."

"The technical term would be tits, sis." Whether as a character or someone living inside of Agatha's head, Agnes always had a way of being that straightforward. "You like them, don't you...?"

"I love Wanda."

"And Wanda loves you, sweet pea. But she also loves Vision. And he holds just as much space in her heart as you do. Like me. I love you and you know I love Wanda too."

"A witch's heart is almost limitless in its capacity to feel..." Agatha stopped in mid-sentence. He felt something was happening to her. A look at the large screen gave the Dark Witch her answer. The lithe brunette woman next to Agatha's unconscious body leaned over and kissed the witch on her lips. And after the brunette separated from Agatha's body, the redhead did the same thing.

"True love's kiss..." Agatha mumbled the words as she slowly vanished from Agnes' sight. Within moments, the Dark Witch was gaining corporal consciousness, opening her blue eyes.

"Red Rover! Greene!" The weakness in Agatha Harkness's body prevented her from being more enthusiastic than she actually felt towards the women she nicknamed, Ruby Lucas and Zelena Mills, respectively. The two women leaned into a hug for now-conscious Agatha, much to the dismay of the nurse who was standing by trying to keep her patient from being more excited than she should be.

But there was even more excitement on the other side of the patient store as two women and a man were having a rather animated discussion that was getting closer to the room. As the door opened a doctor and what seemed to be a female deputy of some sort were trying to get a third woman not to disturb the patient in bed. One look at the woman and any hope of calling Agatha down had gone out the window.

"Buttercup!"

"Hey, baby!"

Agatha Harkness and Wanda Maximoff we're reunited...a rather passionate reunion considering the fact that Wanda seemingly attacked her dark-haired companion in the hospital bed. The doctor, a man by the name of Whale mentioned a few bruises on Wanda and the need for the red-haired woman to calm down, please that fell on deaf ears. The pixieish deputy, named Bell, Nate mention the fact that the SUV the two women were riding in suffered some damage, but it's being repaired and should be ready in a couple of days. Of course, Wanda and Agatha were too busy hugging and kissing each other for that to register.

Suddenly a blonde nurse walked in with a smartphone. It was Wanda's. There was someone on the other end who was really excited.

Wanda took the phone and talked to the person. "Wanda, it's Darcy. Monica and Jimmy are with me. You guys are in great danger...we need to talk...!"

Agatha heard enough of the conversation and asked for the phone. When the Dark Witch asked where the trio was, Darcy mentioned that their van had suddenly stopped in the middle of this road that they did not know. They were following Wanda and Agatha from the two suddenly disappeared. Darcy also mentioned the fact that where she stopped there was a white chalk line that stretched across the two-lane blacktop.

Agatha looked at Deputy Bell as if the witch was asking for permission, then said "I can vouch for them." The deputy said something about waking Ingrid up or something like that, then went back on the phone to assure Darcy that help was on the way but it would take some time. "Just sit tight." Then Agatha hung up, looked at Wanda, and wondered what the hell did she walk into.

They would both get that answer the next morning...

To be continued...

Post-credits scene.

Two weeks ago.

The Denny's just outside of Boston was not the place Tyler Hayward wanted to do a rendezvous. But it was nondescript and probably the last place the person he was going to meet would be thought of going for such a meeting. It was early in the morning and, save for one African-American woman who was quietly having breakfast in a booth across the way from him with back turned, he was fairly certain that there would be no eavesdropping.

The tall, older gentleman with a broad gray mustache and thinning hair walked into the restaurant. The man recognized Hayward immediately and quickly sat down at the same table. Coffee was ordered and they started talking.

"How are things, Thad?" Hayward tried to greet the gentleman, General Thaddeus Ross, aka Thunderbolt with a bit of small talk. Ross was not in the mood for small talk.

"Let's get down the business, Tyler. The package was spotted at a cabin not too far from here. We can pull our resources together to grab the package and deliver it."

"Well since I lost my position, Thad, my resources are pretty limited."

"Thankfully, my team can more than compensate. We've been working exclusively on a couple of cases, both related to the Banner situation, but those resources can be diverted to take care of the package."

Some additional details were discussed, then Ross quickly drank the coffee that was delivered to him and left. Hayward also drank his coffee and follow suit. Neither man knew that the African-American woman in the booth had heard every word they said. The woman cursed under her breath, then grabbed her smartphone and started dialing.

"Lewis? It's Rambeau. The shit just hit the fan..."