Chapter 5

Eden 5

The next few days, things around the house improved greatly and Gaige's mood was bright, even if that was only what she was showing to those around her. The truth was, she was getting bored. She hadn't been in a fight since they had killed Shiva, and while she didn't need that kind of violence to get through the day, the complete lack of anything exciting was starting to wear on her. It wasn't like she didn't enjoy the peace and quiet of Eden 5, it was that she wanted to get out and move, to do something exciting or different to break things up and she was starting to feel trapped, which was something that she didn't want to associate with her parents.

She knew that she should say something to Artemis about it, but after everything that she had sacrificed to get her there, she found that she couldn't say it. Besides, she told herself, it was only two more days, including today, and then the following morning they'd be off, so she should be able to cope. Plus she knew that she'd miss her parents as soon as they left, so she should spend as much time with them as she could.

For her part, Artemis had finished the outer plates for Gaige's arm, though it had taken her a lot longer than she had anticipated, mostly due to the lack of proper equipment. The workshop was filled with tools, most of surprising quality, but the problem had been that they had been for robotics. Tools for cutting metal and assembling circuits had been plentiful, but tools for super heating the plates, not so much. In the end, she had to assemble a small crucible to get the right finish. But it was now done, and one of her best works, if she was bragging. She had managed to get the plates to go from an almost black through the deep red of Gaige's favorite shirt, to highlighting in the same coppery red as her hair. And it all shifted based on how the light hit them.

She hadn't given them to Gaige yet, she had told her that she could have them the following morning, but that she wanted to make sure the coating held before she handed them over. It wasn't entirely true, she was fairly confident that the coating was at least as good as the one she wore, but she had her reasons for holding onto them, ones that she couldn't tell Gaige.

The truth was that Artemis was becoming worried. She'd seen how much Gaige was enjoying being around her parents, how at peace she seemed, and was worried that when the time came, she would choose to stay. This didn't come as a surprise to her, she had wondered about this even before they had come to Eden 5, but seeing her interact with her family just drove it home. That and how lonely Artemis actually was. It seemed that no matter where they went, Gaige knew someone, met a new friend, or something. And Artemis left each planet with the same number of friends that she had arrived with. It wasn't that she didn't understand it either, after all, she liked being around Gaige herself, so she could get why she had so many friends, but it didn't help ease the worry she felt that she would be abandoned.

Which was why the afternoon found her feeling down. Gaige's father had taken the afternoon off of work, and had the next day off normally. So, he had decided that since they were nearing the end of their stay, he would spend some of that time showing them around town.

It seemed everywhere they went, someone knew Gaige. Some were old classmates who greeted her cordially, others were kids who grew up with storied about her. They ran into a few relatives around town, meetings that neither girl thought were entirely coincidental. Not all the meetings were friendly though, they ran into a few of the less savory characters from her school, who still called her names, as well as four separate run ins with the police force, who didn't seem happy about losing their precious Crime-fighter bots and wanted to take it out on her. Of course, it was just harassment, since they didn't have anything to charge them with, and they weren't about to attack her in public, especially with Deathtrap hovering nearby, but it was still annoying.

Still, as they sat in the shade of a park, eating frozen yogurt and watching people stroll by, Artemis couldn't help but think that she was about to lose her friend.

For her part, Gaige sat eating her icy snack, looking around at all the people and thought 'Man, I could never do that every day, I'd go nuts'. She took another bite and sighed inwardly, she wasn't a huge fan of frozen yogurt, she always found it to be pretentious, regular ice cream was perfectly fine for her, or if she was feeling a bit fancy, frozen custard. But her dad had wanted to treat her and she wasn't going to disappoint him any more than she already had.

It had been shortly after Gabe's visit that her dad had said it in passing, he'd asked her if staying this long wasn't going to interfere with her clients plans. When she looked at him, confused, he had clarified, "Your wedding planning business. Is it alright to spend this much time away from them?"

This had forced her to admit to something that she knew she should have told him the first day, but couldn't find a way to interject it into the conversation, not that she had tried hard. She knew that he would be disappointed in her when she told him, but the time had come, she could tell, even without the looks coming from the other two. So she had sighed and come clean.

"I'm actually on a bit of a hiatus." She had said "Truth is, I'm thinking of quitting altogether."

"Oh?" Was his only response.

Feeling the need to get him to understand she had continued "Yeah, I, well, I wasn't enjoying it all that much anymore. I mean, while I was working, it was fine. But, I wasn't looking forward to the next client, the next challenge, the next anything anymore. I guess what I'm saying is that I felt like I was wasting my time. If I couldn't give my client my all, then I shouldn't be doing it. I felt like, I wasn't in the right place anymore, if that makes sense. Someone told me that I should take a sabbatical from it, clear my mind. And what I've come to the conclusion of is that I should quit. I know, you're disappointed in me, quitting without a new job to take its place. But, well, there you have it."

"Oh, OK." Was all he said, but she knew that he was disappointed in her. He had graduated and taken a job at the company and had been there ever since. Even in school, he'd had a job. So, he hadn't been out of work since he was in his teens. So, there was no way he couldn't be disappointed in his daughter not being able to hold down a job.

He hadn't brought it up again either, which made her more confident that he was displeased.

So they sat around, eating the frozen treat, Gaige pretending to be happy, her dad genuinely was, and Artemis was clearly feeling like a fifth wheel.

A short while later, after they had finished, as they were walking home, Artemis suddenly stopped and looked down the street to the spaceport.

Noticing that her friend had stopped, Gaige asked "What's up?"

"I, um, I think I'm gonna, well, go back to the ship. For a little while. I, uh, need to do something."

Gaige knew something had been bothering the other girl, she was terrible at hiding things, and this answer had been quite evasive sounding, so she decided to press. "What things?"

"Oh, uh, just some stuff that I wanted to get ready. Stuff to bring down for, well, tomorrow."

"Why?"

"Uh..."

"You're not planning on leaving? Are you?"

"Wha...?" She sighed suddenly and whispered "Would that really be so bad? If I did?"

Gaige suddenly felt the anger surge in her, she wanted to smack her friend, but held back and instead, asked in as calm a voice as she could "Why would you think that?"

"Well, you just seem so happy here, at peace, you know. And I was just thinking that you might want to stay. That maybe you didn't want to leave. And that would be fine, if it's your choice."

"Bull." This time she didn't stop herself and hit the other girl on the head. As she stood there, clutching her head, not that it hurt, Gaige had only bopped her lightly, just enough to get her attention, she heard Gaige sigh and continue. "What did I say? When I joined you?"

"Uh, 'Just a normal day, following a strange girl to her ship' I think it was."

"No. When I asked to travel with you. On Feno Phena?"

"Um.."

"How long did I say that I wanted to travel with you?"

"Till the stars fell out of the sky."

"Exactly. That hasn't changed. Of course I love spending time here with my parents, but I still want to travel with you. You need to believe that."

The other girl sighed and looked up, squinting against the bright blue sky and whispered "I want to, but I can't see any stars anymore."

Gaige looked up and pointed "There's one."

"That's the sun."

"It's still a star."

There was a brief pause, and then the silence was broken by the soft laugh coming from Artemis. Gaige looked over to see her failing to stifle her laughter. Seeing that she had been spotted, she let it out. Straightening out a few seconds later she looked at Gaige and said "I'm sorry. You're right, it's just so easy to forget some things. To get lost wondering why you'd want to come with me, when you have all of this, that I forget that you have your own reasons."

"Of course I do, and why wouldn't I want to travel with you? And as for all of this? I love being back here, I really do, but I don't want to stay here. Not that there's anything wrong with that." She quickly added, looking at her dad "But I'm a woman of action. I need excitement, to get out there and see the galaxy. If I stayed here, I'd get bored, listless and then I wouldn't like being here anymore. It's a place I like to visit, not to live at. Get it?"

"I think so."

"Good, now are you still thinking about going to the ship?"

"I still need to get some stuff done up there."

"Should I come with you?"

"NO! I mean, no, I can handle it."

"Reeeeelly?" Gaige said, more suspicious than ever.

"Gaige honey" Her father said, stepping in "Everyone needs some privacy once in a while. Why don't you head on home, spend some quality time with your mother? Just a little woman time. I'll walk your friend to the spaceport."

"But..."

"Besides, I haven't gotten a chance to get to talk to her. One on one I mean, and I thought I'd take this chance."

"But..."

"If you're worried, Deathtrap can come with."

"But..."

"Urgurr"

"But..."

They all looked at her and she finally said "Fine. But go easy on her, she's a bit, well, unused to dealing with people."

"We'll be fine." He said, reassuring her. "I won't get too personal. Besides, I kind of do want to see this ship I've heard so much about."

In the end, Gaige relented and headed back home, leaving the other three standing there.

Once she was a ways away, her father turned to Artemis and declared "Let's go. I can talk as we walk."

She nodded nervously, only to feel a steadying hand on her shoulder. Looking up to Deathtrap, he nodded to her and they headed out.

They walked in silence for a minute before Gaige's dad spoke. "So, it sounds like you'll be traveling with my daughter, at least for a while longer. So I wanted to ask you, what do you want?"

"Huh?"

"With Gaige, what do you want for your future?"

"To be her friend."

"You already have that. I was meaning more of, what do you want?"

"Isn't that enough?"

"Is it? I wouldn't think so. I would think that you'd hope for something more."

"But that would change things."

"All things change with time. That's one of the inescapable truths that you learn as you get older. So it's better to be in charge of the change, then to be subject to the whims of the universe."

"But I don't want things to change."

"Really? Things could get better."

"But they would undoubtedly get worse. So it's better to keep things as they are."

"But things will change, whether you want them to or not. If you keep traveling together, someday Gaige is going to find someone else, someone she thinks she likes more than you. So she will leave you."

"Then that's what'll happen. And I'll be grateful for the time I got to spend with her."

"I don't believe you. I don't believe that you don't want anything more. And I can't believe that you wouldn't fight for what you want. Don't you want to be happy?"

"But I am."

"A tiny fragment of what you could have and you call it happiness?"

"That tiny fragment is more than I deserve. People like me, we bring misfortune, we live lives of pain and suffering. We drink it in, till it bleeds out, tainting those around us. We don't get happiness, and when we see even a glimmer of light in our bleak existence, we clutch it in our memories, desperate to hold onto that fragment. You see, I am a monster, and monsters don't get happy endings."

"Jeez, is that what you really think of yourself?"

"It's what I am. So you see, Gaige would be better off with someone else."

"But she's happy around you."

"Huh? No, you're wrong. She's kinda down around me."

"That's cause she hears you say crap like that about yourself. I mean, I don't really know you that well and I feel down listening to that. Look, Gaige, well, she had a bit of a rough time at school and she didn't have any friends. Me and her mom, we did our best to try and give her a happy childhood, but there was only so much we could do. You met Gabe, listened to what he did and he was one of the nicer ones. There's a reason that she hates bullies. So when she sees you bullying yourself, she gets sad. She doesn't know how to help you, to make you happy."

"Like I said, this is as happy as I could hope for. More than I could hope for actually."

"Don't you get it, she likes you. More than I've seen her like anyone, except Deathtrap. He can back me up on this. He's been with her these last eight years. Tell her."

"Urgurrug"

"See, even he sees it. The truth is, she hasn't been very happy for a long time, but around you, it seems that she's finally found something. So that's why I wanted to talk to you alone. To see if I could, well, not figure out why, but to see if I could make sure that happiness wasn't being misplaced."

"Well I'm sorry you had to find out the truth."

"What truth? That she wasn't wrong, that you seem like a good person, except for your incredible habit of cutting yourself down? That if you could just get the confidence, you could be truly happy? Yeah, real sorry I got to see that. But what I can't figure out is this strange disconnect between the girl in front of me and the one in the stories Gaige tells. I mean, the way she tells it, you're a badass. You fight with a ferocity that she has a hard time matching. But then I see you standing here like this and I think to myself, where's that fire? The courage that it must have taken to storm a bandit stronghold to rescue her? The fortitude that it must have taken to face an entire mercenary squad alone, just so that Gaige could face Holloway uninterrupted? Where's that girl?"

"She never existed. I told you that it didn't happen that way."

"Urgur"

"But it didn't. It wasn't courage that made me storm the stronghold, it was fear. I was so afraid of losing her before I could make it up to her for my screw up, that I didn't think about it, I just attacked. And the mercenaries? They wouldn't have interfered anyway. Holloway would've had them sit on the sidelines while he fought."

"Maybe, but do you think they wouldn't have tried to kill her to save their boss? Doesn't it take courage to attack a base, even if you call it fear? The truth is that you wanted to save your friend, that you were more afraid of losing her, then of an entire stronghold of bandits."

"Why are you so insistent on this anyway? I thought that you were trying to set her up with Gabe. Isn't that why you told him to come over?"

"I think the only one that wants her to be with Gabe is my wife. Everyone else sees that it was never about that. I was just trying to show Gaige that some people have changed, that they are sorry for what they did and to try and get her to be a bit more at peace with her past. And as for why I'm so insistent, maybe because I want you to see that you aren't happy."

"I know that."

"Don't interrupt, what I was saying is that I want Gaige to be happy, and until you stop tearing yourself down, I don't think she's going to be truly happy around you."

"So, I should leave her, let her find someone better for her."

"How can you not hear me when I'm talking? She likes you, so wants you to be happy. Get that through your thick skull."

"But surely she can do better. You've got to agree with at least that."

"Of course I think she can do better. I'm her dad. I don't think anyone out there's good enough for her. It wouldn't matter who they are or what they've done, they wouldn't be good enough. But, I also know that it's not my place to choose. That's one of the hard things I had to come to terms with these last eight years, that I don't get a say in how she lives her life. But I'm still her father, so I can try."

"So, are you disappointed?"

"With what?"

"How she turned out."

"Why would you even ask that?"

"It was something that was bothering her, something that she was reluctant to admit. But she was worried that you would be disappointed in her. That you would see how she had lived her life and not approve."

"What wouldn't I approve of specifically?"

"Well, for one, that she doesn't have a job."

"I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't worried about that. I mean, I want her to be secure. But she had someone to fall back on, to help her find her way. And I'd rather her quit then suffer through a job that she couldn't stand."

"You should tell her that. She's been worried about it. Hasn't said anything, but I could see it."

"Maybe I will, but you've got to work on your end as well. You're the one she's going to be traveling with after all. And speaking of that, I think it's time I saw this ship of yours."

"Uh, do you have to? It's a mess right now."

"I've seen my teenage daughters' room, I think I can handle this."

That Afternoon

Gaige had spent the afternoon having a rather awkward talk with her mom, who seemed to think she needed some 'feminine advice'. She had finally drug her daughter to the salon and gotten her hair done, though Gaige didn't notice any difference except that she smelled funny and her mom was out a ridiculous sum of money.

About the time they had got home, her dad arrived alone. He had been impressed by the parts of the ship he had been able to see, it turned out that Artemis had been adamant about him not seeing the hold or the bedroom. Still, he had found the ship to be an acceptable home for his daughter and had come back with a bag of meat that Artemis had insisted on him taking. Gaige groaned, she had told the other girl that she didn't need to keep giving gifts to her and by extension her family, but it seemed that she still hadn't gotten through.

Seeing her expression, her dad clarified "Well, we're going to go to the park tomorrow and have a bit of a welcome back/going away party for you with some of the family who didn't get a chance to come over and see you, so she thought that she could provide some of the food. She also said something about 'been in there too long' and 'can replenish on Wilina' or something like that."

"Where is she? I need to have words with her."

"She said she had something to finish up on the ship and she'd be down later. Deathtrap stayed with her to help or something. I didn't get a clear picture of what they were doing. Sorry."

Gaige sighed as her mom took the meat to the kitchen to get it ready for the following day. Once she was out of earshot, her dad leaned over and quietly continued. "Your friend seems nice enough, but she has some serious issues, doesn't she?"

"Oh god, now what'd she do?"

"Wasn't so much what she did, but, well, some of the things she said seemed a bit worrying. As if she has some serious self-image issues."

"You noticed that as well? I've tried talking to her about it, but I don't think she believed me."

"I don't think she did either."

"Why, what was it this time?"

"Well, I don't want to say too much, but it seems like she has a deep-seated image problem."

"She call herself a monster this time?"

"For one. Which makes me wonder, do you know where she's from?"

"You mean originally?"

"Yes."

"No. Never got that out of her. Actually, now that I think about it, I don't think I asked. Why?"

"Well, it was the way she talked about herself, like she thought such thoughts were normal. And I was wondering if it might have something to do with where she was brought up."

"I never thought of that. I should have, what with all the different cultures that I've had to learn bits of over the years. But what could make a person like that?"

"I have no idea. But speaking of which, she also told me I should talk to you about that. You're wedding planner business I mean."

"Nosy bitch." Gaige muttered before continuing "Look, I'm not proud of the fact that I don't have a job at the moment, but I really don't think that I can go back."

"No, no. You misunderstand. And I guess she was right. I wanted to tell you that while I may not be excited about you not having a steady income, I am proud of you. I am proud that you were able to see that you weren't happy and were able to step away. I mean, did you really think that I would want you to stay in a job that made you miserable? Of course not. I want you to be happy. In that, I think, me and your friend see eye to eye."

"You really mean that?"

"Of course I do. What? You think I want you to be unhappy?"

"Of course not, but I just thought that, well, you'd be disappointed with me."

"I could never be disappointed in you. Well, that's not right. If you did a few things I'd be disappointed, but you haven't. Am I worried about you? Of course I am. I haven't stopped being worried for you since you were born, it's part of the whole fatherhood thing. But am I proud of you? Of course I am, you've done so much stuff that I couldn't even dream of. I look at you and I see nothing to be ashamed of."

Gaige threw her arms around him and pulled him into a hug.

Her mom found them like that when she came in to tell them that supper was ready, but left without a word. Food could be reheated. Moments like this would last the rest of their lives.

Later That Evening

In the end, Artemis hadn't gotten back until late. Gaige and her dad had still been up, talking in the lounge, when they had heard the door open as quietly as it could and the girl and robot sneak in. Gaige immediately headed out there to confront them and found Deathtrap carrying a crate. Not a large one, but one a bit smaller than Artemis's backpack.

"Where have you two been? And what's in the box?"

"Hurk..." Artemis choked, eyes darting around. "Uh, we were taking care of stuff on the ship, and, um, nothing, er, important, for, uh, tonight. Your hair looks nice, did you do something new with it?"

Gaige just narrowed her eyes. "Don't try and change the subject. Now, was any of that a lie?"

"No! Your hair does look nice and the other thing, well, it's just that, er, I'll tell you, uh, tomorrow."

"It's something for the party we're throwing for you tomorrow." Her dad said, covering for the panicking girl. "Don't worry. I told her that we were getting together with some of our family and friends tomorrow to celebrate Gaige's return and departure."

"Really?" Gaige said incredulously "That's what's in the box? Something for the party?"

"Uh, yes." Came the small reply.

Gaige couldn't sense any real dishonesty in it, but she did feel that something wasn't being said, but she also knew that she wouldn't get it out, especially with her dad there, so she let it drop.

Still, she couldn't help but throw one last try "But still, what took you so long?"

"Urgur"

"Fine, but what's with all the secrecy. It's like you're all up to something."

"Honey, just let it drop. I swear you'll understand when you get to the party."

"Fine, fine, I'll let it drop." She said, but as soon as Deathtrap floated into the guest room with the crate she rounded on the other girl and, with her face inches away from hers, hissed "But what was up with telling my dad about the jobless thing?"

"Huh?"

"Oh don't pretend that you don't know what I'm talking about. You told him that I was worried that he was disappointed in me, didn't you?"

"Well, yes. I just thought that, well, I wanted, um. I was hoping that you two could patch things up before we left. That's all. Was it wrong of me?"

"You shouldn't meddle in family affairs." Gaige hissed.

"Gaige." Her father said with a stern warning in his voice.

Gaige shot him a look, before cracking and laughing at the other girl "I'm sorry. That was petty of me. I know I've got to stop doing that, but your face. It was priceless. You did alright. It worked out in the end. And, well, I'm grateful."

"I never would have even thought about it if you hadn't mentioned it. So I'm grateful as well." He added. "But Gaige, you shouldn't do that to your friends. I don't think she quite knows when you're joking, so you can't press too hard."

"Sorry. I've been trying to not do that as much, but I couldn't help myself." She said turning back to Artemis and watched the color slowly return to her face. "Really, I'm grateful. And I'm sorry."

"It's fine." Came the thin reply.

"No it's not." Gaige said, a bit shortly "You should get mad at me when I do things like this. Damn it, stand up for yourself, would you?"

"I'll...try." Came the distant reply and then she headed to the guest room, ducking past Deathtrap as he floated out, before pausing and calling back "Good night."

When the door closed, Gaige's shoulders slumped and she muttered to her dad "I really screwed that up, didn't I?"

"No, but I don't think you helped her either. You need to remember, she's got problems of her own and you should be trying to help her if you can."

"I always thought the best thing I could do for her, would be to treat her like a normal person. Joke around with her and such, like I would've with the other Vault Hunters. But I guess that was the wrong thing to do."

"Maybe, maybe not. It's hard to say. But something that you've got to remember, everyone's damaged in their own way. You won't find anyone in the six galaxies that isn't broken in some way. The secret isn't to find someone that matches your own damage. But to find someone that supports yours, whom you can support in turn. Someone that holds your broken pieces together and that you do the same for."

Leaving her with that thought, he patted her shoulder and headed off to bed.