As I quietly upened the door to our bedroom, a volley of emotions hit me. Sadness, pain, regret... Before I could utter a word, Alice looked up, her face surprised. Shock filled me. I'd caught her off guard. The pain must have been worse than I'd ever imagined. I looked at her, a loose ball on the covers, her hands balled into fists. It was unnatural. She should be the optimistic, happy pixie she'd always been, but this was...
Alice let out a small whimper and buried her face in my lap while I rubbed the top of her head comfortingly. It was unbearable to see her suffer while I was powerless to help her. When I'd left Maria to wander around on my own, surrounded by everlasting depression and gloom, she'd reached out to me, given me hope to continue.
But right now, I felt hopeless. Whenever somebody was around she made the effort to smile and act fine, though I could feel her underlying pain. As I watched, she let out yet another moan. In that moment, I knew that as much as I loved my family if the newborn was a threat... We would leave.