Hyacinth Potter and the Unwanted Second Life

by DumpingGroundOfShame

Nobody wants to be reincarnated as Harry Potter. The first eleven years of his life are filled with abuse, the next seven involve way too many adult men trying to kill him, and the less said about the epilogue the better. Still, sometimes you don't get a choice. It's not like I can screw up the story worse than Cursed Child did, right?

5. This is Definitely Brand-New Information

Hagrid hammered on the door once more, waking Dudley up and bringing Uncle Vernon skidding in with his rifle and his warnings about being armed. The urge to roll my eyes was immense, but I resisted it. A brief pause, and then Hagrid knocked the door clean off its hinges.

I had never seen a more reassuring sight in this lifetime than that of the half-giant looming in the doorway, but I doubt he inspired the same feelings in the Dursleys. I watched, hiding my amusement as he 'fixed' the door and terrified Dudley off the couch. I quickly widened my eyes in amazement just before he turned to face me.

"An' here's Hyacinth!" he said, face creasing into a smile. "Las' time I saw you, you was only a baby. You look just like your parents." I didn't take my eyes off him, not even bothering to glance at my spluttering Uncle Vernon as he got his precious gun tied in a knot. "Anyway-Hyacinth," Hagrid said, turning back to me and wishing me happy birthday. It was the first birthday cake I'd ever received.

I kept my eyes wide, almost confused. "I'm sorry," I said politely, "but who are you?" Hagrid chuckled and introduced himself and his profession- the opening I needed. "What's Hogwarts?" I asked innocently. Hagrid paused, his face turning thunderous as his gaze swept over to the Dursleys.

"I knew you weren't gettin yer letters, but you're saying they didn't even tell you about Hogwarts! Did yeh never wonder where your parents learned it all?"

"All what?" I asked, and Hagrid exploded. It didn't take more than the occasional comment to keep him raging at the Dursleys. Watching him berate them into submission, or near enough, was great fun.

And then the revelation. I kept my self looking amazed and confused, and was handed over my letter. I read it over, a small smile creeping across my face at the words. I'd always wanted one.

Dear Ms. Potter,

We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

I fought down a shiver of excitement. I went through the rest of the night on autopilot, barely listening to Hagrid's continued verbal abuse of the Dursleys and further explanation of my parent's fate. It wasn't anything I didn't know. To be fair, I doubt Hagrid ever dreamed that I remembered that terrible night, or that I was the consciousness of an adult trapped in a child's body. As I fell asleep that night, curled up under Hagrid's coat and warmer than I've ever been, I was already working on a million and one plans for the future.