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Chapter 4 - Out Of Your Comfort Zone

What the hell was he thinking?

That was all Terry could think as he stared down at the endorsement letter as he and the two brothers walked back home from the Professor's house. The seal of the champion stared back at him, causing his stomach to tighten. The sound of Hop and Leon's conversation faded away as Terry mindlessly followed behind them, all the while trying to keep himself from freaking out.

He couldn't believe he said yes. He couldn't believe he convinced himself to go through with this. Maybe he was just dreaming. Yeah, that had to be it. A dream. He would wake up and there wouldn't be any endorsement waiting for him. He'd still be laying in bed swathed in his own grief and today had never happened.

That thought immediately went out the window when Terry pinched himself hard and nothing around him changed. Hop and Leon were still chatting in front of him, the Dynamax Band that Professor Magnolia had made for him still was wrapped around his wrist, and the Lapras was still gliding alongside him with Zorah riding on her shell.

Terry? Are you feeling alright?

Terry flinched out of his stupor by the Lapras's voice once again sneaking its way into his mind. He glanced over to see her and Zorah staring at him. He shook his head and pocketed the endorsement.

"I'm fine. Just...got a lot on my mind."

"Bun, scor ny-bun scorbun, bunny?"

Terry sighed and was about to once again tell Zorah that he didn't understand what she was saying before Lapras spoke.

She said you could think of a name for me as you did for her.

Terry blinked and scratched his head. "Oh, right...forgot you still understood Pokémon."

Spending so much time speaking your language would give that impression, wouldn't it? Lapras giggled. Of course, you shouldn't fret about finding a name for me at this moment. I'm sure it will come to you when the time is-

"Lilo."

Both of the Pokémon blinked in surprise.

Oh, that was quick.

"Scorbun."

Lilo... She smiled at Terry. You're quite proficient in thinking of names.

He flushed and looked away from them. "I-It was just the first thing that popped into my head. Don't read too far into it."

Well...I like it.

Terry glanced at her before looking back at the road. "...Good."

The three fell into silence while Hop and Leon continued to talk. Lilo observed the town around her. Not even a day had passed and already she was happy to see more than just the same old lake, even if she did feel more at ease in the water. A few people stopped and stared at her in amazement to which she simply smiled back at them as she followed alongside Terry.

The group eventually found their way back to the house, no thanks to Leon's insistence that he knew where they were going only for Hop to pull him back in the right direction. To Terry, it felt like ages since they left and he felt some small comfort to be back. Of course, the endorsement letter in his pocket dashed that comfort to pieces.

"Ah...home sweet home," Hop said, "These past two days have been aces though! I feel like I could take on the Gym Challenge right now!"

"That might be sooner than you think, little brother," Leon chuckled.

"Hop? Leon? Is that you?" Catherine's voice called out as Hop opened the door. Her head poked out from behind the couch.

"Hey, Mum! You won't believe what's happened!" Hop pulled his endorsement letter out of his parka, "I finally got that endorsement!"

She smiled at Leon who stood behind Hop. "He was able to win you over, huh dear?"

"He showed me a champion time. I figured he was ready."

"Oh! That's not even the best part!" Hop said as he turned to Terry.

Catherine watched as Terry slowly pulled out his own endorsement letter despite his trembling hands. She gasped softly and looked between all three of them.

"How did this...?"

"It was brilliant!" Hop beamed, "We had another battle and halfway through it was like he completely changed! He ended up beating my whole team with just Zorah!"

Terry squirmed under Hop's praise. He didn't feel like he deserved it. It had to have been just dumb luck that he won. Yet, the endorsement made him question even that. Why couldn't he make up his mind?

"Did you really, Terry?"

He snapped out of his thoughts to see Catherine gazing at him with amazement and concern. He shuffled around on his feet before nodding.

It was quite an interesting turn of events.

Catherine jumped at the sound of Lilo's voice entering her mind and seeing her poke her head through the open door. Zorah hopped in front of her and gave Catherine a wave before bouncing next to Terry's feet.

A small smile graced Catherine's lips. "You even caught another Pokémon?"

"...Less catch, more wanted to come with me."

Lilo chuckled before a ring came from Leon's pocket. He pulled out his phone and quickly read the new message.

"Chairman Rose needs me back in Wyndon for last-minute preparations for the Gym Challenge. Guess I better get going."

"Aww..." Hop moaned.

Leon ruffled Hop's hair. "Don't worry. You'll see me at the opening ceremony in Motostoke. It starts three days from now so you'll need to leave by tomorrow if you wanna be there in time."

Terry bristled. He barely had time to accept he was even doing this. Now he had to be ready to leave the only place he felt safe by tomorrow?

After Leon said his goodbyes to Hop and Catherine, he stopped in front of Terry. His eyes shined with radiant intensity, tempered only by Terry's hesitant gaze that peeked out from behind his hair. He placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Take care of yourself, Terry. I'll see you in Motostoke, okay?"

Terry shivered under the intensity of his gaze before finally forcing himself to nod. With one last pat, Leon left the house, called out Charizard, and began flying back to Wyndon.

He seems quite nice, Lilo said.

"That's the champion for ya!" Hop responded. "But it won't be long before I take that mantle!"

"Before that though, how about we have some dinner so we can talk about tomorrow?"

"Bun! Ny-bun!" Zorah cheered at the prospect of food.

The rest of the night was uneventful, something Terry was thankful for as it finally gave him time to think. Even as they ate dinner and Hop recounted the events of the past two days, his mind continued to buzz, constantly switching between trying to rationalize why he had accepted the endorsement in the first place and trying to find an excuse to rip the thing up.

He couldn't remember the last time he had ever been so indecisive.

Being back in bed and staring up at the ceiling didn't help either. The trophies that surrounded him stared down at him, almost as if they were judging him for hanging onto the endorsement. His body shivered as he imagined the trophies being the eyes of an entire stadium watching his every move.

With a shaky sigh, he sat up and rubbed his face.

His eyes drifted up to Zorah's Pokéball, Leon's endorsement letter, and his bandana on his nightstand before they slowly hovered over to the other side of the room where an old brown, slightly tattered leather bag leaned up against the wall.

His father's old explorer bag. It was the only thing he had from him. Witness to countless treks across Unova, only to end up being buried in a closet until this moment.

Terry's eyes burned and his balled fists trembled as he stared at the bag. He stood up, grabbing the bandana in the process, and kneeled in front of the bag. His hand trailed down the seams of it, gliding over every tear and dirt mark that had melded into its fabric.

With a heavy sigh, he got dressed and quietly made his way out of the house but stopped just as he stepped outside and heard a faint snore nearby. Zorah had been relegated to her ball but Lilo elected to stay outside in order to get used to the new feeling of dirt instead of water underneath her. Right now though, she just served as another obstacle to get past. As quietly as he could, he snuck his way past her, making sure to step on the patches of grass that lined the stone wall instead of the gravel.

He quietly released the breath he was holding once he made it onto the main road and proceeded to head towards the gate to the Slumbering Weald. Instead of entering the forest though, he stepped off the path and onto the grassy field. He shot the vine-covered house opposite from him a woeful glance before moving deeper into the field, unaware of brown eyes watching him.

Now Playing: Distant Water - OneShot OST

Terry slowly made his way through the field, steering clear of groups of Wooloo that were sleeping packed together. The ground beneath him rose and fell with the winding hills he crossed until he stopped at a single Willow Tree that sprouted up at the peak of a hill. However, his attention wasn't on the leaves or the rays of moonlight that broke through the leaves, casting faint shadows on and around him. No, none of those.

It was the marked grave surrounded by Chrysanthemums at the base of the tree that his eyes stayed glued to. Terry could feel himself go numb as he read the name that was etched into it.

He sat down in front of the grave, careful not to disturb the flowers that were close to him.

"...H-Hey, Mom," he said. "It's me again."

The wind lightly rustled the flowers surrounding the grave.

"I know. I should be sleeping right now..."

His eyes fell from the grave with the wind filling in the silence.

"...Leon endorsed me for the Gym Challenge. I'm sure you and Dad would be happy about that, but..." His breath shook. "I'm not ready for this, yet I can't bring myself to rip it up. I'm just..." He gripped his bandana as his eyes began to burn.

"...I'm confused and...scared," he whispered. He looked back up at the grave. "Was it like that for you too?"

Terry waited patiently for some sign, anything that might give him an answer or a way to quell his thoughts. The only thing that replied was the wind until it too faded away and all that was left was silence.

Terry sighed in defeat. "Why do I even bother with this?" he mumbled, "You're not here...I'm just talking to a wooden plank..." A single tear fell down his cheek. "...I just miss you and Dad so much…"

A faint buzzing entered his mind, causing his body to tense up. Slowly, he glanced over his shoulder. There, standing just behind him, was Lilo, watching him with sympathetic eyes.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to intrude, Lilo said as she slowly drew closer to him.

Terry looked away once she stopped beside him.

Lilo gazed down at the grave. Is this where she's...?

Terry shook his head. "No. She's...in Unova with Dad. This is just what I made for her."

I see...

Neither of them moved as the wind began to blow again.

...What were they like?

"Huh?"

Your mother and father. What were they like?

Terry turned to her with his brow furrowed. "Why do you want to know?"

It's obvious you loved them both very much, Lilo replied, I simply wish to know who they were.

Terry sat there, unmoving, his body shaking from each breath he took. "Well...you already know my mom was a Trainer."

A good one?

"...Yeah. She ended up becoming champion of Unova for two years straight after coming close so many times before." He glanced over at Lilo. "...And she loved Pokémon. You would've liked her."

Lilo smiled. She sounds like an amazing person. She cocked her head to one side. What about your father?

Terry's eyes fell to the ground. "...He was an explorer. Always loved seeing the world around him. Every time the Unova League was about to start, he would always come back and tell me and Mom stories about his travels. He even taught me everything he knew about exploring and always looked forward to when I could come with him." For a split second, Terry's eyes lit up. "Even though Mom was the more popular one, he was always so excited to tell us about everything he saw...excited for when I'd go on my own journey...even when he..."

Lilo watched as Terry choked on his next words and his eyes returning to their normal darkness.

Terry let his head fall into his hand with a shaky breath. "Arceus, I'm pathetic. It's been five years since he died and one year since Mom died...yet it still feels like they both died yesterday," he muttered.

That doesn't seem pathetic to me, Lilo said, moving closer to him, It just shows that you still love them...and I think they'd be proud of you for going on this journey.

"Only because it feels like everyone just sees me as the son of a champion and that's what they expect," Terry groused, "Mom might have taught me some of the basics, but I never had my own Pokémon until…" he paused as his eyes turned wistful, "...until Zorah came along."

Silence fell over them like a blanket as Terry kept his eyes on the grave while Lilo watched him. After a while, she spoke.

Does...she know about any of this?

"No," Terry said abruptly, "And I don't want her to know."

Lilo's brow furrowed. Why not?

Terry's eyes darkened more than usual as he stared off into space and wrapped his arms around his chest, trying to stop the ache that twisted his heart into knots and silence the whispers that grew in volume in his mind. He shook his head and got to his feet.

"It'd be better that way."

Without giving her a chance to respond, he turned away and began walking back to the house. Lilo watched him go with a worried frown, wondering what he could possibly mean. She took a second to look back at the grave, whispering a silent promise to it, before following after Terry. The wind picked up again, making the Chrysanthemums and leaves of the tree sway along with it until the hill was quiet once again.

Stop Playing

In the morning...

Once knocking came from his door and Hop's voice calling for him to wake up, fear lanced through every fiber of Terry's body as his eyes opened. Despite that, he forced himself to get out of bed, get dressed, tie his bandana, take Leon's endorsement letter, and ready his dad's pack with camping gear that he would need once he left Postwick.

Walking down Route 1 towards Wedgehurst Station, it was amazing that Terry hadn't tried running away into the tall grass, but his feet refused to change their march.

It was only once he, Hop, and Catherine arrived at the station that his feet finally stopped moving.

"Well, I can't say I didn't see this moment coming once you and Grookey became partners," Catherine said to Hop.

Hop grinned and Grookey, who sat perched on his shoulder, gave Hop's head a light tap with his stick. "Thanks, Mum. We'll take care of each other out there and soon you'll be the first mother to have the first-ever pair of Champion brothers!" Hop said.

Catherine giggled. "I have no doubt about that."

Heavy steps echoed off the tiled floor as Sonia burst through the doors. She hunched over. "Phew...made it...just in time."

Hop's eyes widened. "Sonia? What are you doing here?"

"Isn't it obvious? I'm coming with you two!" She huffed as she twirled her hair around her finger. "Gran gave me a proper earful early this mornin', saying how, 'Those two young Trainers are setting out on a journey, but what are you doing with your life?'," she said in an exaggerated impression of Magnolia.

Catherine chuckled. "That sounds like the Professor all right."

"Well, it ends up working out 'cause I was curious about those two wild Pokémon that Hop and Terry ran into in the Weald and..." Sonia trailed off before shooting a quick glance at the latter, "...a couple personal reasons as well."

Catherine's eyes shifted over to Terry. He was staring off towards nothing with a hand firmly clenching his bandana. Zorah bounced around his feet, excited to be going on this adventure, but oblivious to Terry's plight. Catherine stepped towards him, breaking him out of his trance. He stared back at her, the fear and apprehension obvious to her as they looked at each other. Slowly, she placed a hand on his shoulder.

Now Playing: Stare At The Sun (Acoustic) - Thrice

"I know you're scared about this, Terry," she said, "But I'm so proud of you for taking this step."

Terry only blinked back in response, the fear paralyzing any words he wanted to say. Catherine placed another hand on his other shoulder.

"But...if something, anything, happens, or you just want to come back home, just call me and I'll come get you, no matter where you are."

Terry's eyes trembled before he nodded. The two stood there, connected in their moment of fear and heartache. Cautiously, Catherine wrapped her arms around him and hugged him close. Terry tensed in response, his fear skyrocketing even more. She let go and squatted down to Zorah.

"Now, you take care of him for me, okay? Promise?"

Zorah glanced between her and Terry before smiling and patting her chest. "Scorbunny bun scor, ny!"

The bellow of the train engine echoed throughout the lobby, signaling its imminent departure. Catherine stepped back and smiled at the boys one last time.

"Have fun and be safe, you two. Good luck."

"Will do but I won't need it!" Hop replied before turning to Terry, "C'mon Terry! We're off!"

Hop spun on his feet and raced into the train without waiting for a response. Sonia shook her head with mirth and followed after him. Terry began walking through the ticket counter but stopped to look back at Catherine one last time. He still wasn't sure about any of this. He was still scared about leaving the only place he saw as home. He was still convinced so many things were going to go wrong.

Catherine softly smiled back at him and nodded, pressing him to keep moving forward. With a gulp, he crossed through the counters and entered the train. Not a moment too soon as the doors shut behind him, cementing his decision as final while he stared back again through the window. As the train began to move, Catherine waved, offering any support she could until, eventually, she disappeared from sight and was replaced by the farm fields and herds of Wooloo that surrounded the town.

So, this was it.

Terry followed after Hop and Sonia and found them sitting in one of the train booths. Hop was busy looking through his phone, gushing about everything there was to do and see in Motostoke and the surrounding Wild Area. If there was ever anyone more ready to go on their journey, Hop was that person. Sonia simply listened with a look of nostalgia on her face, though occasionally throwing glances towards Terry.

Terry sat down in a different booth opposite from them, set his pack next to him, and let his gaze wander as he watched the world outside his window pass by him. Hop's conversation with Sonia was tuned out as his thoughts began to take over, reigniting the battle within his mind that this was a stupid thing to do.

Zorah hopped up onto the table and joined Terry in watching the outside world. She couldn't stop the grin that stayed plastered on her face. This was all so exciting! To think, she was finally going on a real journey with a real Trainer! It took everything she had to not burst into flames from excitement. She looked away from the window and gazed up at Terry.

"Scorbunny bun scor ny, bun Bunny?"

Terry flinched out of his daze and looked over at Zorah with confusion.

"Scorbunny bun scor ny?" Zorah repeated with a wide smile.

Terry blinked. "Uh...I'm guessing you're excited?"

She nodded.

Terry's eyes softened. Zorah's excitement dwindled at the sight of it and she tilted her head. Instantly, they returned to their usual coldness.

"Sorry. I'm just a bit more nervous than excited," Terry said as he turned back to the window, "Don't worry about me."

Zorah's brow furrowed in concern. It was a nagging feeling that started to grow within her mind over the past couple of days and, despite her attempts to ignore it, it constantly resurfaced every time without fail.

Why did Terry look so...torn every time he looked at her?

She knew he didn't want a Pokémon when they first met, but it always felt like there was something more to it. Something deeper that she didn't know about. Her mind flashed back to the Slumbering Weald and Terry's unnatural calmness after being attacked by those two Pokémon. Did that have something to do with it?

...Maybe Lilo knew and Zorah could ask her about it.

She shook her head, casting that thought away. Now wasn't the time for being so anxious. She was going on an adventure! It's what she's looked forward to ever since Leon picked her! Her smile returned and she looked back out the window, looking forward to everything that was to come.

Behind her, Grookey watched all of this from Hop's shoulder and eyed Terry with suspicion. Something about the boy bothered him and he wasn't convinced Zorah was in good hands. Maybe there was something more to it, but that didn't matter to him. Zorah was his friend. Friends looked out for each other.

...And he definitely didn't like Terry.

Stop Playing

After a while, the time spent on the train seemed to morph into hours for Terry as it continued to chug towards the first stop in the Gym Challenge. Motostoke: home of the Fire Gym and where the Opening Ceremony would take place. Just thinking about the ceremony sent chills down his spine. Standing in front of so many people…

Calm down, Terry. Breathe, he thought to himself, Count to four...inhale...count to four...exhale...

His breathing exercise was interrupted as the train slowed to one as well. Terry looked over at his companions in confusion, who seemed just as baffled as to why they had stopped so far away from their destination.

"We apologize for the interruption." A voice rang out of the speakers of the train cars. "A herd of Wooloo has wandered onto the tracks and it will be a while before they are cleared. In the meantime, we are stopped at the Wild Area Station if you wish to depart now."

Hop's eyes lit up. "The Wild Area? That's brilliant! What better place to get off at?"

Terry felt his body tense. "Can't we just wait until the train starts moving again?"

"If we wait, we'll miss out on putting together the greatest team ever!" Hop replied.

Sonia twirled her finger around her hair. "And it's better now than later to get some experience camping out there too."

Terry's expression turned grim as he looked away from the two of them. It looked like he wasn't getting out of this one. Time to bite the bullet.

Now Playing: Another Walk - Halo 3 OST

With a quiet sigh, he grabbed his pack, stood up from his seat, and followed behind Hop and Sonia to exit the train. The afternoon sun beamed down on them as the three stopped at the entrance to the Wild Area. Complete with rolling hills, a few thickets dotted across them, lakes that glittered under the sunlight, beams of amaranth-colored light shot out of holes in the ground, and, of course, Pokémon as far as the eye could say. Past all that, a city stood off in the distance, marked by a clock tower that rose out from behind its brick walls.

Terry couldn't stop his eyes from widening at the sudden swelling of his chest as he drank in the view. Was this how his father felt every time he went exploring?

"There's Motostoke off in the distance," Hop said, "Looks like it'll probably take at least a day on foot before we get there."

"Grookey groo..."

"Ah...it's been ages since I roughed it outdoors," Sonia said with a stretch of her arms, "It'll be fun getting back into the swing of things."

Terry merely grunted, still lanced with fear as he stared out across the landscape. Hop hardly noticed as he turned to the two of them.

"Well, I'm off to stick my head in as many of those glowing dens as I can find. Those Dynamax Pokémon will know my name once I'm done!" Hop spun on his feet and raced into the Wild Area, waving a hand behind him, "See ya at Motostoke, you two!"

Sonia huffed when Hop had disappeared from sight. "That's some cheek he's got, already racing off to fight Dynamax Pokémon…" She shook her head and turned to Terry, but stopped when she observed the boy.

His body was frozen solid. She would have thought he had died standing up were it not for the faint labored breathing coming from him. His eyes shook as they stared out across the wilderness with a mix of fear and awe. Slowly, she drew closer to him and laid a hand on his shoulder, causing him to jump slightly as he finally broke out of his trance.

"You alright, Terry?" Sonia asked.

"I'm fine, I'm fine..." he replied hastily, "Just still...nervous."

He flinched again as he felt something touch his leg. His head shot down to his feet to see Zorah placing a paw on his leg and smiling up at him. For a moment, his body relaxed, but his thoughts still continued to crash into each other.

Go back home.

Start moving forward.

You don't deserve to be here.

You need to keep going.

Terry closed his eyes. Breathe… he thought to himself, Count to four...inhale...count to four...exhale...

Slowly, his breathing steadied and he opened his eyes. "Okay...I'm good," he said with a small nod.

Sonia smiled and let go of his shoulder. Together, the three of them began their trek into the Wild Area. However, not even a minute into their trip, Terry peered over Sonia.

"So...are you acting as my personal escort?"

Sonia blinked in surprise. "Oh, uh...well-"

"I'm not annoyed. I just want to know since you said you had 'personal reasons' for coming along as well."

Sonia sighed. "Yeah, kinda. It didn't sit right with me that you were going into all of this like a Magikarp out of water."

Terry's gaze lingered in the direction Hop had gone. "At least you're trying..." he said with a hard edge to his voice.

"Hey, don't worry about him. He's just excited about all this," Sonia said, placing her hand back on his shoulder, only to have it be shaken off by Terry.

Terry ran a hand through his hair, brushing aside the tuft that fell in front of his eye even though it fell back into place. "Look, I...a-appreciate...that you want to stay with me, but I don't want pity. Especially after the Professor told you about me."

Sonia's face fell. "Oh, you heard all that..." Her eyes lingered on his bandana that Terry was currently holding onto. "Is...that why you always grab it when you're nervous?"

He stared back at her even as his hand tightened. Slowly, he let go and placed his hand back in his pocket. "Yeah." He quickly glanced down at Zorah. "Let's stop talking about this and just focus on getting to Motostoke."

Sonia nodded and offered a small smile. They both fell back into silence, but Zorah constantly glanced between the two of them with a confused frown. What were they just talking about? What were these "personal reasons"? What did the Professor tell them? Why did Terry glance at her?

That feeling from the train came back again in force but she quickly pushed it away. Maybe she was being too paranoid about this. If Terry wanted her to know something, he would've told her by now. Yeah, that had to be it. Her smile and optimism returned and she hopped next to Terry while her eyes observed the Wild Area around her.

The faint swaying of the tall grass as they danced along with the breeze, the sparkles of color that bounced off the sky-blue water, the rays of sunlight that sneaked through the trees...

The smile on her face grew and her hopping grew more intense, unaware of Terry watching her out of the corner of his eye with a melancholic gaze.

Stop Playing