(Or "Who let the Dogs Out?")
"WELL THE LAST TIME YOU REMEMBER, ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE WERE FACED WITH THE THREAT OF A NUCLEAR BOMB FROM FEARLESS LEADER'S DOG, YURI."
"How do we get outta this one, Rock?" Bullwinkle asked.
"I got it!" Rocky replied, pulling out a stick. "Here boy, drop that nuclear bomb and get the stiiick!"
"YURI EXCITEDLY WAGGED HIS TAIL AND IMMEDIATELY DROPPED THE STICK, ROCKY TOOK THE BOMB, FLEW HIGH INTO THE AIR, OUT A WINDOW AT THE CEILING OF THE STADIUM, AND CHUCKED THE BOMB FAR INTO SPACE, WHERE IT BLEW UP A SATELITE."
(*KABOOMSKY!*)
"RASKOLNIKOV, Natasha!" Boris stamped his feet in anger. "NUCLEAR BOMB VAS S'POSED TO GO OFF TREE SECONDS AGO!"
"Boris?" Natasha asked, noticing someone behind him. "Fearless Leader ees—"
"A TOTAL EEDIOT for sendink us here vit' hees STUPID dog, and—" Boris stopped, raised an eyebrow. "He's...right behind me...yes?"
"Yes." Natasha replied, immediately bowing before Fearless Leader.
"Fearless LEADER!" Boris rushed over and hugged the large-chinned man. "How are ju today, honey, baby, sweetheart, greatest man een all vorld? Ju haev...nice flight?"
"Badenov, ju EENCOMP'TENT FOOL!" Fearless Leader kicked the tiny man in the crotch.
"Ooh!" Boris exclaimed, grabbing his crotch and falling down.
"JU S'POSED TO BRING ME DOG ARMY!! VERE EES IT?!" Fearless Leader hollered, getting beads of saliva on Boris' mouth.
"Right ere', Fearless Leader!" Boris handed Fearless Leader the remote for the mind-control device. "Press da red button."
"FEARLESS LEADER PLACED A FINGER ON THE BUTTON AND PRESSED IT. IMMEDIATELY, WHEN YURI CAME BACK WITH THE STICK, THE MIND CONTROL DEVICE STARTED, MAKING EVERY DOG IMMEDIATELY TURN AWAY FROM THEIR OWNERS AND RUN IN A HUGE, FURRY MASS TOWARDS FEARLESS LEADER."
"Uh, what's goin' on?" Bullwinkle asked.
"I have no idea.." Rocky started. "But I think it has to do with THAT guy over there!"
"FEARLESS LEADER NOW HAD HIS FACE ON THE JUMBOTRON, RELAYING A SPEECH TO ALL THE DOGS OF THE COMPETITION, AS THEIR OWNERS, AND THE PRESIDENT WATCHED ON IN HORROR."
"SCHNAUZERS, ROVERS, DOBERMANS, LEND ME YOUR EARS!!" Fearless Leader exclaimed as every dog's ears perked up. "YOU have been under ze control of humans for FAR too long! YOU cannot trust them no longer, it is I and I alone zat you can trust. I, AM your FEARLESS LEADER, AND I COMMAND YOU TO FOLLOW ME!!"
"Good heavens!" Bullwinkle exclaimed. "He's hip-knee-ties'd em' all! What're we gonna do?"
"I know exactly got to get their attention away..." Rocky smiled, waltzing out in front of the dog army. "HEY GUYYYYYYS!!"
"EVERY DOG TURNED ROUND TO FACE ROCKY, AND THE MIND-CONTROLLING NANOBOTS APPEARED TO SHORT-CIRCUIT A LITTLE, FOR THE DOG'S NATURAL INSTINCTIVE THING TO CHASE AROUND, OTHER THAN CATS, CARS, STICKS, FRISBEES, AND BALLS, IS...THE SQUIRREL..."
"LOOKIT ME IM' A SQUIRREL!!" Rocky hollered, shaking his tail at the dogs, then started biting on an acorn. "Squeak! Squeak! Nomnomnomnomnom...Why don't cha chase me?!"
"STRANGELY ENOUGH THE FIRST DOG TO TAKE NOTICE OF ROCKY WAS A MIND-CONTROLLED MISTER PEABODY, WHO WAS ACTING VERY MUCH LIKE AN AVERAGE DOG. YES, THE MIND-CONTROLLING HAD INDEED TAKEN CONTROL OF THIS GENIUS DOG, MAKING HIM JUST AS DEADLY AS THE OTHERS..."
"GET ZAT SQUIRREL!!" Fearless Leader yelled into the microphone on the remote control.
"Oh shoot." Rocky replied, his tail and ears drooping.
"AT THE SOUND OF FEARLESS LEADER'S COMMAND, EVERY DOG IN THE STADIUM DASHED AFTER ROCKY, INCLUDING MISTER PEABODY. PRETTY SOON, THE DOGS HAD ALL CHASED ROCKY TO A FLAGPOLE OUTSIDE THE STADIUM. ROCKY TRIED TO CLIMB UP THE POLE, BUT IT WAS RATHER SLIPPERY DUE TO THE FACT THAT IT HAD RAINED A LITTLE WHILE AGO, AND WHEN HE SLID DOWN, BELOW WAS MISTER PEABODY, FOAMING AT THE MOUTH..."
"HOKEY—"
(*chomp!*)
"SMOKES—"
(*chomp!*)
"MISTER PEABODY STOP—"
(*chomp!*)
"THIS ISN'T—"
(*chomp!*)
"—LIKE YOU! DOWN BOY! HEEL! SIT!"
(*chomp!*)
"SUDDENLY, ROCKY KNEW EXACTLY HOW TO STOP THE HYPNOTIC EFFECT THE NANOBOTS HAD ON MR. PEABODY...HIS MIND MAY HAVE BEEN WARPED, BUT HE WAS STILL A GENIUS..."
"Hey mister Peabody!" Rocky yelled. "WHAT'S THE PYTHAGOREAN THEORUM?!"
"IMMEDIATELY MISTER PEABODY STOOD ON ALL FOURS AND RESPONDED;"
"...Why, that's quite simple, the square of the length of the hypotenuse is equal to the sum of squares of the lengths of other two sides of the right-angled triangle." Mr. Peabody chuckled, then rubbed the dust off his glasses. Once he placed them back on, he gasped in shock. "OH MY GOODNESS, ROCKET GET OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW!! Wait...am I FOAMING at the MOUTH?! EUGH!! THIS IS SO UNDIGNIFIED!!"
"Let's go Poindexter!" Rocky picked up Mr. Peabody, carrying him away from the other still-hypnotized dogs.
"I probably look like such a...dog..." Mr Peabody gasped, feeling extremely embarrassed.
"Now, what are you so hung up about, Mister Peabody?" Rocky asked.
"Oh Rocket, I may be the smartest being in the world, but even I must wonder occasionally, in terms of my species, why must I feel like that? Why must I chase the cat?" Mr. Peabody pondered, still hung up on himself acting very canine-like.
"It's nothing but the dog in you." Rocky replied.
"WELL IT APPEARS AS THOUGH WE ARE OUT OF TIME FOR RIGHT NOW—WILL MR. PEABODY REMAIN UNHYPNOTOZED? WILL ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE SHOW THEIR BARK IS WORSE THAN THEIR BITE? AND WILL FEARLESS LEADER CONTINUE TO CONTROL HIS DOG ARMY?! STAY TUNED FOR THE NEXT EXCITING EPISODE, "Walkies on the Wild Side", OR "It's an Arf, not a science!"!"