5. Where's my money?!
The sun was not in the sky yet when Bill got up and "borrowed" a roadrunner from the paddock. He didn't care that he was already facing a fine behind the Mexican border, but the sooner he got his money back, the sooner he would leave the area again. So he set off with his "borrowed" mount before sunrise and rode back in the direction he had been following all along: north-east.
An hour, two hours, three hours passed...
The search was getting annoying for Bill. It was more like chasing after his own shadow, which he never got hold of.
When he came to a hill to get an overview, something caught his eye. Further down in the valley there stood a small wooden house. There were also a few roadrunners and even a cart in the vicinity. Apparently, the shack was a pub.
Hastily, he rode towards it. He stopped before the entrance and swung down from the roadrunner, where he tied it to a pole.
Cautiously, he peeked over the double doors. There were not many voices inside. Bill sniffed. The smell of food made him hungry. However, his empty pockets were a serious problem. How could he get food without having to "borrow" it?
After thinking back and forth for a while, he pushed the doors open resolutely. He paid any attention to the few animals dressed in rags and worn jeans, but went straight to the bar. There was an old opossum in a stained apron and shirt. He was paying little attention to him, until Bill hit the counter with both palms, then he glanced over at him.
"Hey, you!"
The opossum turned to him. "Jo?"
"How about a round of arm wrestling?" The Gila lizard threw into the room. "If I win, you will serve me something to bite."
The opossum grinned. "No money, no food."
The Gila lizard hissed defiantly. "Are you too chicken, or what?!"
The opossum gave him an amused chuckle. "Money, then food. That's the law of nature in the kitchen, my friend."
Bill was about to grab his collar when the click of a shotgun stopped him. The mammal had taken out its rifle and was aiming the deadly barrel at the lizard. The old opossum grinned broadly. "Listen, mate. Because I like you so much, you can fish the leftovers out of the trash."
"How dare you?! You... ?!"
The next click of the gun silenced him.
"You can find the garbage cans in the back yard."
Bill was about to fall into a fit of anger, but in light of gun violence, what he did not possess, he thought it would be the smartest thing to disappear for his survival.
"Is a junk shop here anyway."
With that, he turned and stepped outside again into the hot midday sun. There he kicked a stone away.
"Racketeers!" He swore. "All of them just racketeers!"
Frustrated, he leaned against a broken wooden fence, put his hands in his trouser pockets and scraped around the dusty floor with his shoes. If he had a bit of money with him at least, he wouldn't be as mad as he is now. He would even be able to blow up the whole shack if he had the means.
If he had anything at all.
Growling, he broke away from his posture and marched along the fence. An easy trail ran through the valley floor that he hadn't noticed before. Had the bandits ridden on this route? Bill bit his lip, wondering why he hadn't asked first if they'd ridden by here.
"It's not my day!" He grumbled angrily. "I could really need a little luck! Just once, just a little luck! Is that too much to ask for?!"
At that second, racing chickens could be heard from a distance.
Bill turned around. A small cloud of dust could be seen along the path. Two riders rode up. Bill wasn't keen on company and retired to the side of the building where he couldn't be seen.
The riders on the roadrunners came closer and closer until they slowed down their pace. Obviously, they had headed straight for the pub. Bill heard them dismount.
"Mano, I'm really thirsty," he heard the first one say.
"You said it, bro," the other one agreed, and this made Bill prick up his ears.
This voice. He knew it. Including the other one.
"Hey, help me out of here, I'm stuck!"
Carefully, the lizard dared a look around the corner of the house to the pub entrance.
There were not only two roadrunners, but also two rabbits. Bill felt his hands clench into fists. He didn't recognize their faces immediately, but instead he recognized their stature and their voices.
The first one, a medium-sized rabbit, was pulling a larger rabbit off his roadrunner because his pant leg had caught in the stirrup. And this figure was unmistakable. Well-worn, perforated jeans and a hunch on the back.
"Try harder!" The medium-sized rabbit urged his colleague.
The big rabbit grabbed the end of his pants and pulled hard. With a jerk, they tumbled to the ground.
"Roll up your pants a little more in the future," the first rabbit said.
"All right, bro," the tall hunchback said.
Bill narrowed his eyes. The two seemed to be a few cards short of a deck. And they seemed to be completely alone. He watched as the two disappeared into the bar. Then he left his hiding place and followed them.
The two rabbits were on their way to the counter. With a few big steps, the big lizard was behind them.
The two rabbits didn't know what happened to them when they were suddenly grabbed by the ears and pulled up by two large reptilian paws.
"WHERE'S MY MONEY?!" Bill yelled at them.
The smaller rabbit was the first one who had recovered from the supersonic. "Money?! What money?!... OUCH!"
Both rabbits screamed when Bill pulled their ears even higher so that they could only stand on tiptoes.
"YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I MEAN!"
The bystanders in the pub stared at the quarreling trio in surprise. But the most of them were not bothered by this private money problem and continued to drink their drinks.
Meanwhile, Bill became more and more angry and let the two rabbits bob up and down by the ears.
"Will you hurry up?!" Bill urged impatiently.
The middle rabbit tried in vain to get his ears free again and pretended to be clueless. "I don't know what you're talking about... OUCH!"
For Bill, that was too much for his limited supply of self-control. Snorting anger, he dragged the two rabbits around with him. Then he grabbed the middle rabbit by the shirt and hung him on a coat hook on the wall, where he hung helplessly in the air.
"HEY! ARE YOU CRAZY?!"
He kicked his big rabbit feet indignantly, but Bill paid him no more attention and dragged the hunchback to the bar.
There he slammed the rabbit with his back on the counter, where he held him down first. Then he leaned over the bar and after a while he found a knife. He rammed this into the rabbit's shirt, close to the neck, and literally nailed him to the table.
"HEY! LET ME GO!"
The hunchback grabbed his neck and tried to pull the knife out of his shirt again. But Bill grabbed his throat and squeezed.
"Where's my money?!" he asked again.
"I do not know…!"
"Where is my money?"
"I don't k...!"
Now Bill finally lost his patience. He looked around the bar again. There was a lighted cigar in an ashtray. Quickly, he grabbed it, took the rabbit's right arm and stretched it out on the table.
"Where's my money?" Bill growled urgently.
The hare seemed to have lost the desire to deny and he kept his mouth closed this time. Without blinking an eye, Bill pressed the burning end of the cigar into the rabbit's palm. The hunchback screamed in pain. The other rabbit, still hanging on the wall, screamed outraged.
"YOU DAMN BASTARD! LEAVE HIM IN PEACE!"
Bill paid no attention to him at all. But he withdrew the lit cigar while the rabbit struggled and tried to get away from him.
Then he stepped closer to his nailed victim who already had tears in his eyes. Then he lifted his right knee, pressed it on the rabbit's stomach and leaned low over him.
"So, what is it now?" the lizard asked calmly.
The hunchback tried hard not to cry. "I cannot say it…"
Bill raised his eyebrows. "So? You can't?"
To the horror of his counterpart, he lifted the lit cigar again and held it in front of his face, continuing towards his nose.
In vain, the hunchback tried to evade. When only a few millimeters separated him from the glowing hot stick to his sensitive nose, he took a deep breath.
"CHUCK HAS IT! CHUCK HAS IT!"
Bill paused for a moment. "So, so, you don't have it with you?"
"Do I look like I would take it for a walk?!" his impaled rival yelled.
"And where can I find him?" Bill asked.
"In Dirt!"
The lizard drew his eyebrows together. "Dirt? Are you kidding me?!"
The rabbit shook his head violently. "No, that's the name of the city!"
Again Bill pressed his throat a little. "You'll be sorry if you're fooling me! And he has it with him?"
"I don't know where he's hiding his things!" the hunchback protested. "Ask for yourself!"
"I will do that!"
In a flash, Bill pulled the knife out of his shirt and flung him to the side, where the rabbit slammed hard on the floor.
Then he left the pub with brisk steps.
Bill didn't go far from the house. On the contrary. He waited calmly in the shadows, keeping an eye on the entrance. It wasn't long before the two rabbits came running out of the house.
"We have to tell Chuck that immediately!" the middle rabbit said and jumped on his roadrunner.
Bill grinned broadly. "Gosh, they're so stupid."
He watched how the two rabbits rode down the barely visible street. Then he followed them at a safe distance.