DISCLAIMER: I do not own Neon Genesis Evangelion or its associated properties. All copyrights belong to their respective owners.
"Good morning, Professor Fuyutsuki."
"Good morning, Ms. Ikari."
So began Monday morning, just as every morning had been for nearly two weeks now since the 'near-moment.'
The banter, the teasing, the coffee breaks - even the twice-weekly games of shogi had stopped. All because of the awkwardness around the 'near-moment.'
Kouzou didn't dare raise the topic. As comfortable as he had become with Yui, her rush to leave after Taue blundered upon them left the middle-aged professor feeling unsure of himself with his intern.
For her part, Yui had seemed more reserved since then. She confined herself to statements concerning work, and to formal displays of politeness such as the morning greeting.
Neither of them seemed able to go further than that now, and Kouzou suspected neither could because one didn't want to hurt the other. That was as true for Yui as it was for him. Kouzou recognized the situation that they were in.
'The Hedgehog's Dilemma.'
While metaphysical biology was his passion and his discipline, Kouzou was a voracious reader who was interested in everything. He had even used copies of study guides that the university issued to educate himself on many other topics. One area of interest for him was philosophy, and one of his favorite philosophers was the German pessimist Arthur Schopenhauer.
One of Schopenhauer's essays dealt with the concept of the 'Hedgehog's Dilemma.' Schopenhauer had argued that a hedgehog desires to not be cold and will huddle up to other hedgehogs to obtain warmth. But the closer a hedgehog gets to another one, the greater his risk of either hurting the other hedgehog with his quills, or being hurt by the quills of the other hedgehog. This wasn't literally true of hedgehogs, Kouzou knew, but a wider point was being made.
Schopenhauer was drawing an analogy with human relations and emotional pain. A person will want to get close to other people, to avoid the 'cold' feeling of loneliness. But the closer a person gets to another one, the greater his risk that he will either hurt that other person or be hurt by that other person. People face the dilemma of either avoiding pain and being lonely, or risk being hurt so as to be close to others.
Schopenhauer's essay seemed too apt to Kouzou at this point. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt Yui, and it seemed Yui felt the same way. In one way, this was a good sign; it showed she cared about him.
However, the longer this went on, the more distant they were likely to get. Kouzou wanted to avoid that too, but he wasn't sure how to avoid it.
As he thought of how to break the deadlock, it was suddenly broken for him.
"Will you join me for coffee at break, Professor Fuyutsuki?"
The question was asked politely but firmly. Kouzou hadn't expected it, and wasn't sure he had really heard it.
But as he looked up at the pretty young woman, her blue eyes alone betraying a certain anxiety that he had seen before when asked about her funding, he could only give one answer.
"Of course, Ms. Ikari."
"So, how is your research coming along?"
"Very well, Professor Fuyutsuki," replied Yui evenly. Pausing to take a sip of coffee, she looked around the cafeteria. They were sitting at a table for two at the bottom left, and at a distance from any adjoining tables. Still, she seemed wary of saying much in a public setting, Kouzou thought.
'Perhaps it isn't the setting that has her so wary,' he considered glumly.
"Would you prefer to discuss it in the research room?"
"Sorry," said Yui, looking shamefaced.
"It's OK," Kouzou replied kindly, forcing a slight smile on his face. "It's probably best to keep that discussion confined to the research room."
Yui looked at him. She nodded, and with a wan smile of her own replied, "I agree. Thanks for being so understanding."
'Hmm,' Kouzou thought, 'she's reluctant to discuss the research, but wanted me here for coffee. If it wasn't to discuss work, then what...'
"Are you OK, Professor?"
Not for the first time, Yui had stopped Kouzou's train of thought dead. After nearly two weeks of strictly work-related discussion and a feeling of awkwardness toward this young woman whom he thought so highly of, he was completely unprepared for this question. And his answer showed it.
"Wha...?"
"Hee hee hee!" Yui couldn't help but giggle at how befuddled the normally stoic Fuyutsuki had become because of her query. Her amusement immediately triggered Kouzou's self-consciousness, and his cheeks burned crimson. Seeing this, Yui smirked, but soothed her mentor.
"I'm sorry, Professor Fuyutsuki. It's rare to see you flustered." She put her hand on the forearm of her still-blushing mentor, and her smirk settled into a kindly smile. "Seriously though, are you alright? You haven't been yourself this past few weeks."
'Well, she isn't as reluctant as I thought to break the tension,' Kouzou sighed to himself. He was relieved, though, that she was still happy to tease him. 'Seems I wasn't the reason she was on-edge.'
Yui may not have been on-edge, but despite his relief Kouzou now was. Did she want to discuss the 'near-moment?' Or did she think something else was wrong? Either way, how should he answer her?
The sound of his watch alarm buzzing delayed his need to answer this question.
"That's our break finished. Shall we discuss this further upstairs?"
Yui's eyes widened at this. Kouzou suddenly realized how he sounded.
"Erm...uh...I meant, in the research room," Kouzou got out, flustered once more.
As a red-faced Kouzou and a laughing Yui made their way out of the cafeteria, neither of them noticed the strange hungover man sitting on the other side of the room. The same man who had been furtively glancing at Yui during Kouzou's lecture two weeks ago.
They didn't notice him. But he had been watching them the whole time, with an unsettling grin on his face.
To be continued...
Author's notes: Bit mean to end the chapter there, I know. Thanks again to those who have left their feedback, I'm very grateful.