Two days to the dream wedding

To Mamoru's great relief, he had no dreams of his real doll, the yakuza, or Motoki that night.

Quite the opposite.

The images of his highly romantic marriage proposal played out again in his dreams in his mind's eye. Back then, not quite a year ago, he had asked his beloved Usagi the question of all questions.

They were traveling in the beautiful area around Lake Yokai in Chiba Prefecture. More specifically, they were spending a weekend together at this charming hotel where Usagi's parents stayed every year on their wedding day. This very place provided the perfect backdrop for Mamoru's romantic proposal.

Of course, Usagi was completely clueless. She had been told it was going to be a trip with Mamoru and her best friends, so as always, she was looking forward to the delicious food and quality time with her loved ones. Due to Mamoru's many duties at the hospital, time together had been in absolute short supply lately. With the girls it was not much different. Since all of them had finished school, they could not see each other so regularly due to studies and work.

But this innocent trip over the weekend was actually planned long in advance and Mamoru had even brought Usagi's best friends on board for the proposal; the girls acted as accomplices of the future groom and gave Usagi a lot of hidden clues throughout the day.

At the very end, guided by all sorts of fancy ideas, she ended up at sunset in front of the famous sculpture of the lovers by the lake, and there he stood with a single red rose in his hand and the engagement ring Usagi had secretly wanted for so long. Back then. When she was fourteen years old and stood with her best friend Naru in the jewelry store of Naru's mother and looked completely desperate, because she simply could not afford this beautiful diamond ring.

It was this ring that had caught Mamoru's eye just moments later, and after learning that Usagi wanted this ring and only this ring in her life, he had secretly purchased it almost six years ago and kept it with him ever since.

When she stood in front of him in this beautiful kimono and looked at him curiously, it took the right words from him as he pulled out the brown, velvet-covered jewelry box and opened it to his beloved.

"Usako, we've known each other for six years now and perhaps had a somewhat unusual start to our relationship. Had met again and again at the strangest moments of our lives, arguing and throwing all sorts of things verbally and physically at each other. But the truth is that the moment I saw you for the first time - back in front of the OsaP store - I was absolutely enchanted by you... and I felt a deep urge to find out why a girl like you came out of a store so sad, when there are so many beautiful things in it. So the moment you rushed off in a huff, I went straight to the jewelry store and, thanks to Naru's mother, immediately learned the reason for your sadness."

"And then you bought this ring for me?"

"I knew that if fate would have it so and we should meet again one day... I would give you this ring. Since then I have always carried it with me... no matter if I was angry with you, if you made me laugh, if I comforted you or if we experienced the most beautiful things together. You are my life, Usako. And there is no one else I would like to spend it with than you. Now the appropriate moment has come for you to receive this ring as a token of my eternal commitment and love. If you want me."

Tears of joy ran uncontrollably down Usagi's cheeks while Mamoru put the ring on her left ring finger with a loving smile on his face, and she jumped into his strong arms with a heartfelt happy "Yes my Mamo-Chan, I do!". Mamoru was the happiest person in the whole wide world at that moment. The pure happiness of this very special, magical moment between them, it echoed in his dreams and Mamoru grinned broadly over both ears in half-sleep.

Until a ring(ing) woke him up.

Mamoru blinked at his alarm clock

"Well, it's only eight. Motoki didn't want to come so early today, did he?"

Sleepily, he shuffled to his apartment door and opened it. He'd better not have done that.

Within fractions of a second, a wild babble of voices from at least ten men pressed tightly together in the hallway of different ages, statures and... quite obviously also intelligence quotients

"How big are the breasts?"

"Can the vagina be exchanged or can a penis be inserted?"

"Is that possible here in the bidding process? You had written OBO in the ad."

"How often has the Doll been used then? First or second hand?"

"Do you have another doll or is it part of a gangbang set?"

"How good is the workmanship? Because my last one had such a stupid loose contact in her private parts and is constantly in the middle of the night loud panting next to me in bed."

"Does it have special features as well as batting eyelashes or can it make animal sounds?"

"I'll take it for 50! That's all it's worth."

"Do you sell cell phones?"

"Can you change the head or can you only change the wig? I'm asking cos I prefer brunettes."

"Does it come with used underwear, or does it come completely naked?"

These were not men. No. There was a herd of rambunctious lechers! standing outside Mamoru's apartment, clearly seriously interested in his Real Doll gift, Randy Reika.

"I'm not selling!!!!!! Now get out of here or I'll call the police!"

Mamoru thundered loudly screaming his apartment door shut and directly clawed his cell phone from the coat rack. Pissed off and now wide awake, he dialed the all-too-familiar number of his best friend, and while a loud drum-beat sounded against his door in the background, it was already chiming and a slightly sleepy Motoki picked up the phone on the other side

"Furuhata?"

"Motoki, what on earth have you done?!"

"Done? Me? What? Why?"

"There are x bastards at my door wanting me to sell Randy Reika to them!"

"Oh... Oh, that. Well. I put up an ad on Craigslist last night. But don't worry, I took a black bar in front of Unazuki's face. For privacy and stuff."

"Great! That's why you published my complete address details on the INTERNET, you IDIOT! Get over here right now and get these lunatics off my back!!!"

Motoki didn't quite understand Mamoru's problem and, yawning slightly, explained

"Mamoru, what's wrong with you? That would be the easiest solution, wouldn't it? The day after tomorrow is already your wedding and the doll is still there!"

Now Mamoru angrily nagged into his phone

"You smart aleck, you haven't thought this through at all! What if the buyer comes back a few days later and finds fault with the doll? And Usagi then opens the front door?! And don't come to me now with "private sale" and "excluded from exchange"! You know that we had this problem just the other day when we sold our old vacuum cleaner on the platform and then this weird guy stood in front of our apartment and complained that his best piece didn't fit into the hose and now he wants to sue us? Honestly, I'm getting mighty tired of this kind of alienation!"

"Oh that's right, I forgot about the hose groove swivel. Sorry. Well, but that was far from the only idea I had. Besides, you wouldn't have been able to sell Randy Reika anyway, since she's still lying well packed in her new box in my trunk. Is one with red hearts on it. Now don't panic. I'll take a quick shower and be right with you."

Slowly but gradually Mamoru lost patience and grumbled rather gruffly into his cell phone

"Yeah, and what should we do then?"

"Oh, we'll go for a nice ride together. Grab your blue duffle coat and put on your fancy red fishing hat, Paddington Bear. We're going fishing."

Motoki had hung up right away, leaving Mamoru with no choice but to stare crossly into his cell phone.

Less than half an hour later, Motoki was there, too. The lecherous mob outside Mamoru's door had fortunately moved on from then, so Mamoru, in his blue coat and red fisherman's hat, quickly slipped to the elevator.

Again he was lucky, because the elevator took him directly to the basement where Motoki, in a complete fishing outfit consisting of his beloved dark green wax jacket and a matching fishing hat as well as anthracite-colored waders, greeted him happily

"What a glorious day to go fishing today. Come on, I have a very special spot in mind."

With a raised eyebrow, Mamoru looked questioningly at his best friend

"So you want to sink them in the sea?"

"Not exactly, I was thinking of a lake. I'll explain everything else on the ride."

In the best of moods, Motoki got into his car and started the engine. Mamoru had no choice but to follow him. He had such a stupid feeling about the whole thing and actually feared nothing but the worst. This was a really so not thought through idea. Apart from a completely different fact

"Motoki, that's an environmental sin if we dump it in a lake."

Mamoru fastened his seatbelt and looked visibly worried. Not so his best friend, who deftly maneuvered the car out of the parking space

"Come on, it's just like a ship's skiff. Once it's underwater, it's gradually colonized by algae, bacteria, microbes and small fish. Actually, we're doing something good for the environment, we're creating habitat with Randy Reika."

"Yeah sure, including best fish hiding places in all their cave-like openings."

For this dry comment, Mamoru earned a slightly irritated sideways glance from Motoki

"Now you've said it."

As they continued their journey to the famous Gyoen Park, the two Fischerman's Friends discussed countless more ways they could best get rid of the real doll... if it weren't for the darn reality getting in the way

"We could shoot it to the moon. Or best of all, into a galaxy far, far away. Somewhere out there there is life. I know it... And surely it would have fun with such a human-like doll!"

"Motoki, you better keep both feet on the ground. We could have blown it gambling sooner still."

"Yeah for sure. With that impenetrable poker face you sometimes display, you probably would have won three more rubber dolls sooner."

Touché, Motoki.

A rather realistic idea then occurred to Mamoru after all

"What if we rent a storage compartment, deposit them there, and at some point just stop paying?"

"You forget that this glorious idea was already my second cousin Yamamoto's with his sadomaso collection. Shortly before his girlfriend moved in with him. But in the end he got a huge bill shortly before his wedding because the people from this storage business are worse than the guys from the department of the treasury! They find you everywhere!"

"That's true. You're right. Poor Yamamoto. After all, his then "ex-girlfriend" put him on public display and tied him to his St. Andrew's cross in the middle of the sidewalk. Together with the whips and then decorated with all these anal beads. I really wouldn't wish such a fate on my worst enemy."

"He's still single."

After another turn, the sign of Gyoen Park already came into the two friends' field of vision. Motoki parked his car in the parking lot and grinned playfully at his best friend

"Well, here we are. By the way, I borrowed a coat and shoes from Reika for our venture. The Real Doll we must drag undetected to the lake. Best I put it on your back and then we go piggyback to our destination. I'll pay the entrance fee for the three of us in advance, then we can enter with the tickets through a less frequented side entrance."

Slowly Mamoru began to like Motoki's unusual idea. The day was sunny compared to yesterday and also quite mild for a winter day. Ideal, therefore, to let great things happen today. After Motoki got the maps, the two friends and their equipment (Real Doll on Mamoru's back, two fishing rods, a green bucket, and numerous writing utensils) headed to the nearest pond, where there was a dock including thawed rowboats

"If anyone asks, we're marine biologists."

Motoki tossed the fishing gear into a brown, wooden rowboat and immediately grabbed the two paddles as soon as he got in. Carefully, Mamoru took the Real Doll off his back and placed it in the boat across from Motoki

"Okay, the procedural willow is this; we'll row to the middle of the lake and cast our lines there. In a quiet, unnoticed moment, you give Randy Reika a gentle push and the doll goes overboard. Then we return to the mooring wharf and are finally rid of your unwelcome bachelor party gift. Isn't that genius?"

Good. This time Mamoru had to agree with his best friend. There was absolutely no one to be seen on that side of the park. Especially not at this early hour, and even if the temperatures were surprisingly pleasant today, who would want to rent a boat and row around on a shallow body of water in the middle of winter? Shivering slightly, Mamoru rubbed his hands warmly while Motoki had almost reached the center of the lake in strong strokes.

Carefully, he first looked around in all directions and then raised his thumb in the air with satisfaction

"There, the coast is clear. At 'three', you give her a firm shove in the side with your elbow. Wait, I'll throw out my fishing rod for a moment for camouflage."

Motoki conjured an earthworm from his jacket pocket out of nowhere and attached the slippery decoy to the rake provided. Mamoru just raised an eyebrow in disbelief

"Authenticity is everything, after all."

Motoki grinned from ear to ear, cast the fishing rod, and then gave the start signal

One, two, THREE!"

"And blub..."

Blub blub blub blub blub

"... Under the sea."

Both men looked after the sinking doll, which, however, slid only a few centimeters into the "depth", to then finally lie backwards on the bottom of the lake

"Mhm, this is considerably shallower here than I thought. But no matter. The main thing is that it's under water... Bye bye Randy Reika. We had a really great time with you."

Wistfully Motoki looked at the doll, which with its closed eyes and the around the breasts quite tight sportswear was to be recognized nevertheless a tiny little bit too clearly at the underground

"Oh god finally! You have no idea how relieved I am that we actually got rid of her now."

Mamoru looked happy in front of him and was already looking forward to his upcoming wedding with Usagi.

However, as is well known, one should not praise the day before the evening, because as chance would have it, the peaceful silence of the previous park idyll was abruptly interrupted. With a monkey speed came as if from nowhere a white speedboat including deafening noise and headed directly to the middle of the lake.

Motoki quickly rowed away, but paused when the engine finally died and instead the voice of a young man could be clearly heard over the water, obviously addressing a woman. Briefly he cleared his throat and solemnly he started to speak

"My beloved Hina... we've known each other for six years now..."

Mamoru and Motoki looked at each other with their eyes wide open

"Motoki... Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Yeah, this guy is proposing to his girlfriend... Right where we just sunk Randy Reika."

Mamoru turned white as a sheet

"T-that's not going to show up again now, is it?"

"Well I hope not!" whispered Motoki back to him "But keep it down. I want to hear what he's saying."

Both pricked up their ears and somewhat unintentionally witnessed a rather romantic proposal of marriage. Kneeling down, the young guy who looked like a cross between Motoki and Mamoru pulled out a brown velvet covered jewelry box from his grass green jacket and held up a genuine engagement ring right in front of his beloved

"... You are my life Hina and there is no one else I want to spend it with but you. Now the appropriate moment has come for you to receive this ring as a token of my eternal commitment and love."

Mamoru now looked rather grim and, turning to Motoki, stated.

"That's my line. That's exactly what I told Usagi when I proposed. That cheeky bastard stole from me!"

But before the young man could even put the ring on his girlfriend's intended finger, all at once a raven swooped in and grabbed the supposed engagement ring with its black beak.

Flying high into the air, the bird finally dropped its prey into the lake just a few feet away.

"Oh my, that beautiful ring. Wait Hina, I'll get it back for you right now!"

Without another word, the man began to undress, clearly determined to jump in to the cold waters a good three feet fifty "deep." Mamoru watched him stunned at the action

"Arrrrrg, what a bloody mess, with our luck he'll see the sex doll immediately! Good thing I'm wearing my waders!"

With a spirited leap into the water, Motoki was already overboard and wading through the lake as fast as he could. Mamoru fell out of his shock stupor and promptly rowed after him. The man in front of them was already stripped down to his white underwear, and before Motoki could call out a desperate, wildly gesturing "wait, I'll help you find it", the guy had already hopped into the lake, determined to get his engagement ring back.

After a few yards and three exclamations of something along the lines of "holy shit, it's freezing cold," he finally found it. But not in the way he had thought

"Wahhhhh, oh my God, there's a woman in the water!!!"

The love-struck guy couldn't even look that fast, Motoki had pulled Randy Reika out of the water with a spirited grab and thrown the dripping doll over his shoulder.

"Don't panic, I've got her!" he called out to the perplexed man, and in the next moment turned to Mamoru, who had already come close enough to Motoki with the rowboat

"Quick, we need to initiate first aid measures immediately!"

"But what..." the guy, shivering in his white soaked underwear, could only utter, before Motoki already cut him off, while Mamoru pulled the wet doll onto the rowboat

"Don't worry, my friend is a doctor. He knows what he's doing. You better swim back to your boat or you'll catch your death."

Mamoru stared in horror at the doll and then at the "first responder" Motoki, who gave him the curt command

"Initiate resuscitation Dr. Chiba."

Like a madman Mamoru pumped on the chest of his Real Doll and indicated a quite realistic mouth-to-nose respiration. From the other boat, the still trembling guy and his almost-fiancée watched him with great concern

"So is she going to make it?"

"Yes yes yes OH YES!"

The couple looked uncomprehendingly at the Real Doll lying in the boat, who now had her eyes wide open, while Motoki stated with a loud, slightly stilted sigh

"Thank God, she's alive! She's alive! We have her back!"

"Oh, well, thank goodness. What a relief."

With a rather pained expression on his face, Mamoru slipped the couple's supposed engagement ring off his sex doll's middle finger, while he stated contritely

"Yes, fantastic, we have her back. And I just found the ring, too. Here!"

Extremely annoyed, he accurately threw the ring onto the other boat and then grimly took the paddles in his hands. Motoki called after the perplexed couple in the speedboat a well-meant advice

"But now we have to get her to the hospital as soon as possible. Don't worry, she'll pull through. Have fun at your bachelor parties ... And don't accept any unexpected packages on a night like this, even if you're drunken like hell!"

Arriving at the boat dock, both friends got out of the boat rather sourly.

"If you think of any great ideas now, you'd better keep them to yourself. I've really had enough for today!"

"No, I don't have a plan how to go on anyway. The best thing is to put them in their box and then bring them up to your apartment to dry. Luckily Usagi won't be back until tomorrow morning and then we'll leave in time and just try the sea. A shark will surely swim by there or we'll get a concrete block and throw her into the harbor basin."

Mamoru simply didn't feel like dealing with this issue anymore for today. He just wanted to go home. Tomorrow Usagi would come back and then it was a matter of confessing the complete truth to her and simply hoping that she would not take the whole story too badly. Otherwise, the wedding would not take place. In his current mental state, Mamoru didn't care at all.

Maybe the whole problem with the doll would somehow solve itself.

After another half hour, the two unlucky people had arrived back in the underground garage. With combined forces, they carried the already slightly damp cardboard box and its explosive contents into the elevator.

"If Mr. Akyama sees us now, we can at least explain to him that the cardboard monstrosity is an early wedding present."

Mamoru suggested with some relief in his voice

"Yes, he will, don't worry about it. The last two times he saw me in the elevator with the cardboard box, I told him the same thing."

Before Mamoru could answer him, the elevator doors opened and the friendly doorman was once again standing reliably on the other side on the first floor. His eyes immediately fell on the slightly dripping corner of Randy Reika's cardboard box

"Mr. Chiba... there's something leaking."

A plausible excuse had to be made for the puddle that had appeared on the floor of the elevator. Now!

"K-koi carp. We... uh, just got koi carp for my fiancée as a wedding gift. There must have been a hole somehow during transport. We need to get the fish to my aquarium upstairs quickly. So... bye then!"

The doors closed once again and Motoki looked at his best friend with a sly smirk on his lips

"Koi carp?"

"What? I always wanted a fish like that anyway. At least then Usagi's cat will have something to look at. Maybe I'll actually get one quickly before the wedding."

Mamoru ran out of the elevator, slightly snubbed, and immediately froze as a much too familiar voice called out to him joyfully from the open door of his penthouse apartment

"Mamo-Chan my love!"

With her typical one million watt beam, his beloved Usagi took a proper running start and jumped right into his arms. Firmly snuggled up to her soon to be husband

"My Mamo-Chan, I have missed you sooooooo much."

Firmly hugging his happy fiancée to him, Mamoru murmured back into her silken hair while sucking in her beguiling scent

"You have no idea how much I've missed you, Usako."

"Ahem."

Motoki's clearing of his throat unceremoniously dissolved the two lovebirds' intimate embrace, and Usagi's gaze wandered past Mamoru to the huge, damp cardboard box standing right next to the blond man

"Oh Mamo-chan, what's that?"

"Uhhh, this? This is a... Surprise for you for the... Wedding."

Wide eyed Usagi pranced curiously around the large box

"Ohhh well I'm curious like a whirlwind. What great things you think of to make me happy is really amazing!"

All of a sudden, however, something else seemed to occur to her, because the blonde young woman suddenly looked at her wristwatch and grabbed her forehead in horror.

"Oh damn, so late already. You, I have to leave right away, too. Actually, the trip isn't over yet. The girls have planned a brilliant end to my bachelorette existence in the form of a mini-golf tournament followed by a pajama party at the Hikawa temple. Unfortunately, only Unazuki can't come with us, she got a stomach bug last night during our "all you can eat" session at the sushi restaurant and it looks like she won't be able to attend the wedding unless a miracle happens! That would be really bad! Where am I supposed to get an adequate replacement including a matching bridesmaid dress so quickly? These are all custom-made for the girls! Oh well, I'll think about it tomorrow and hope for the best for them. So I have to go!"

With a big kiss, Usagi said goodbye and swept through the hallway directly into the still-open elevator. Mamoru looked after his fiancée with a slightly stupid looking face.

Suddenly, a phone vibrated. Motoki rummaged around in his wax jacket pocket and pulled out his cell phone. Reading the text message displayed, his face brightened noticeably.

"That was the bridal store. Unazuki's bridesmaid dress is done and ready for pickup."

"Well she most likely can't wear that now. You heard what Usagi just said..."

Mamoru paused in mid-sentence and looked at Motoki in complete bewilderment.

"Motoki... You... aren't going to... that... you're not serious, are you?"

There it was again. Motoki's unsuspecting, diabolical plan grin.

"Ohhh yes I am! Just trust me, Mamoru. Randy Reika will be a terrific substitute for my little sister at the wedding. No one will notice that there's no Unazuki in that dress. She hardly says anything most of the time anyway, and she won't have a big, active part during the wedding. We'll just get the other guys on board and place the Real Doll very inconspicuously in the background during the wedding. No one will notice."

It was the absolute craziest idea Mamoru had ever heard of. It was so stupid that it might actually work out in the end! A deep sigh escaped Mamoru as he looked into the face of his best friend, beaming with pure confidence.

"From your mouth to God's ears, Motoki. From your mouth to God's ears."

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