Yorkshire, England - Reality

"They've planned a whole day for the museums, to keep the children busy, and another few for family and the parties." Gwen held out the itinerary for John to look over with her. "Because of that, we're only contracted to get them down there and then back when they're finished."

"And in the middle?" John tapped at the sheet and Gwen shrugged.

'Whatever you like I guess." Gwen made some notes on the first listed day. "They've got the hospital visits scheduled for the first day."

"Convenient."

"I know." Gwen winked at John. "But given how long all the doctors' checks and tests'll take, I'd say it'll be a full day between the lot of them."

"After the train ride and everything?"

"Get it done, that's Mrs. Crawley's policy."

John frowned, "Which one?"

"Both, technically, but 'the Dowager's' policy above all."

"The who?"

Gwen snorted, "Sorry, it's the nickname that Anna and I came up with for Mrs. Violet Crawley." She gave another shrug, "Anna came up with it and I just adopted it."

"How'd she come up with it?"

"Something about how she and Mrs. Mary Crawley talked when they were at Uni together." She waved it off, "I wasn't really as curious about the source of the name as long as I could use it."

"Fair enough." John took the pen and made a note of his own. "So, 'the Dowager' decided to get all the doctor's appointments knocked out in a single day?"

"Yes. Her intention, as she always says, is to 'waste not, want not' so she doesn't have to plan other activities around the appointments and throw off the balance of everything to make sure her bladder functions."

"Having had to make some decisions like that on holiday, I understand her desire to not be the person to throw off the fun."

"I doubt, all respect due her, she's the source of fun or someone who actually appreciates fun in the same way." Gwen cringed, "That being said, she's at least being cognizant of the time cost of what visiting the doctor means."

"Someone has to be." John eyed the schedule again, "How do we want to split up this rather daunting schedule?"

"Normally I'd take Anna but given I've got a load to do for school…" Gwen cringed, "I'll accompany the Mistresses Crawley to their appointments and try to catch up on my schoolwork while they're going through their checkups and inevitable battery of tests."

"Then that leaves me as Ms. Smith's chaperone?"

"Chaperone?"

"Do I need another word for it?"

"No, no." Gwen spluttered her laugh, "The word 'chaperone' is fine."

"It is fine."

"I just said that was fine. So why-"

"You've got that face." John pointed at her as Gwen attempted to stifle giggles and snorting laughs. "And you're obviously laughing at me."

"I'm not laughing 'at' you, John." Gwen put a hand on his arm. "I'm… It's just adorable and… There's a level of respect there I've not seen before."

"No?"

"No." Gwen pulled a face, "It's a little unfortunate."

"It is." John took a breath, "That all being said then, I'll be Ms. Smith's chaperone."

"Okay, Grandpa, you can be Ms. Smith's chaperone."

"Don't be jealous."

"Never." Gwen shoved at John. "But if you're taking Anna then I'll be honest, I'm a little jealous about it."

"Jealous of me?"

"Of course. She's the easiest of the lot to handle really."

"You've got doctors doing your job most of the day."

"True." Gwen pouted, "But I've also got schoolwork so it kind of balances out."

"In a way I guess." John paused, looking over the itinerary. "Will Carl be going with them or is only Bernie coming?"

"Carl's staying here." Gwen pointed her pen toward the upstairs. "Mr. Talbot's got some big thing coming up so he's staying at the house. As long as someone's home, Carl doesn't leave the house."

"Mr. Talbot doesn't want to join on a family outing?"

"I'm sure that there's nothing he'd like more than to go with the family on their outing." Gwen sighed, "I feel so bad for that man."

"What makes you say that?"

"Because I've been here when he's pacing his study or coming down to the kitchen at obnoxiously early hours to try and keep himself awake with espresso shots." Gwen shuddered, "Whatever project he's got, it'll turn his hair gray before his time."

"Poor man."

"Yeah." Gwen nodded, "It's like watching the light leave someone's eyes."

"I've seen that more times than I can count." John sighed, nodding at the itinerary. "That being said, I think we've got this family trip to London all handled."

"I never thought I'd be managing a live-in daycare but…" Gwen shrugged, snorting a laugh as John shook his head. "What? That's what it is."

"It's hardly a daycare."

"What, don't tell me you never wanted to care for children when you were going through your schooling."

"Never other people's children." John made a note on their sheets before handing Gwen hers. "My own, maybe."

"You've got kids?"

"No." John pursed his lips, swallowing a moment, and coughed to clear his throat. "I've not got any kids of my own."

"But you wanted kids?"

"Want, present tense." John pulled a pout, "I'm not that old."

"You're the one who talks like he's from another time." Gwen winked at him, "But you seriously want kids?"

"Of course I do. Always did."

"Then why not have any?"

"Well…" John sighed, "My ex-wife was not of the same mind."

"Is that what ended it?"

"No, but maybe it should've nipped our relationship in the bud."

"What did end your relationship, if I may ask?" Gwen winced, "I'd hate to bring up a sore subject, if it is one."

"If it was then it's not sore anymore."

"So…" Gwen teethed her lip, "What ended it with the former Mrs. Bates?"

"Finding her in bed with another man." John checked his things. "And me switching to this profession over the one where I'd wear a white coat and make a ludicrous amount of money while always begging for funding and burying myself in research while she took her holidays on obnoxious beaches."

"She like her mojitos and cabana boys then?"

"She liked being important." John chewed the inside of his cheek. "Which is why she's with a cardiologist who's doing groundbreaking work somewhere in Ireland."

"Are you happy about that?"

"I'm not unhappy about it." John shrugged, "At some point you've got to accept that life moved in a direction you never intended and your only choice is how you adapt to that."

"Very adult and philosophical."

"Very." John nodded and gathered his things. "Sure you can handle being here early tomorrow after working all night?"

"I'm sleeping on the train." Gwen clicked her tongue at John. "You're the one on medical patrol if we're needed."

"It would technically be my turn."

"Exactly."

"No arguments from me then." John paused, "I'm actually surprised we're taking the train down."

"Instead of what?"

"I dunno. It just seems… A bit of a hassle."

"Surprisingly, it's easier for all those involved since access to toilets is critical for little children and those a step away from callosotomy bags." Gwen snapped her fingers, as if capturing another thought. "Since we'll 'technically' be on call for the duration of the family visit, I'd suggest you pack an over-night bag to leave at the house where we're staying. Or, where the family's staying."

"And where would that be?"

"They've got an aunt or something in London. She usually opens up her house to guests because it's better than getting a hotel." Gwen snorted, "Plus the place is ridiculously massive so it's a good time all around."

"There are more members of the Crawley clan in London?"

"I think she's actually got the last name Painswick but she's Mrs. Mary Crawley's aunt." Gwen waved her hand, "It's all something with genealogy but what do I know beyond a tight closet I've got to sleep in when we're there?"

"If you're in a closet, am I on the floor?"

"My boyfriend wouldn't mind that." Gwen sighed, "Jai's always enjoys when I've got a chance to not be near men he thinks might lure me away."

"Possessive type?"

"No, he just thinks that I'll leave him because he's taking forever in medical school while flying back and forth to India."

"Maybe you should consider it, if he's getting too frustrating."

"He's worth every frustration and delay." Gwen smiled a little. "Besides, what can I do? When you love someone you do whatever you've got to do to keep them right?"

"I could not think you were more right about anything probably."

Gwen blinked at him, "You think I'm right?"

"Why shouldn't I?"

"Well…" Gwen flexed her jaw, "You've not got the best of experiences from which to draw, all things considered and no offense meant."

"Because of my divorce?"

"That would dampen it for me."

"Then I'll let you in on a little secret," John leaned toward her, "It did dampen it all for me for a bit there."

"But now?"

"No…" John shrugged, "I grew up, got a little more wise, and realized that love is worth enduring some pain for."

"Because you've got yourself someone to endure it for?"

"More that I realized it might be possible to endure it for someone." John sighed, "As one very good program said, 'what is grief if not love persevering?' And I could say the same in regard to relationships. What is the chance to love if not the chance to feel pain constantly threatening."

"That's actually rather ominous."

"So if enduring an emotion as unfathomable and indescribable as love."

"And, given all that you've endured and just said, you'd do it all over again?"

"Absolutely."

"Even if you risked the same result?"

"I'm not a masochist but I do believe it's worth the risk to try." John checked over his things again before grabbing for his keys. "And if it's the right person then you don't endure the same pains. People who love you don't cause you pain intentionally."

"You should've been a philosopher." Gwen shook her head, "Or a therapist."

"I should've been a great many things, Ms. Dawson." John saluted to her, "See you bright and early tomorrow morning."

"Don't remind me."

John smiled to himself and made it onto the gravel drive when he noticed Anna sitting out on the grass, absently stroking at Bernie's fur as he lay next to her. The dog's head raised as John approached but nestled closer to Anna when John crouched in full view. His snuffling had Anna pushing her fingers into his fur before speaking, a hint of a smile on her face. "It's not polite to sit there without announcing your presence."

"You knew I was here anyway."

"True, but politeness is the measure of princes."

"I thought it was 'punctuality is the politeness of princes' or something."

"Po-Ta-Toe, Po-Tah-Toe." Anna scrunched her nose at him before sighing. "And it would make me a poor professor of the same if I took you to task too hard for it."

"How's that?"

"I happen to have a penchant for overhearing conversations not meant for me."

John shifted to sit on the grass, letting his legs stretch out as he leaned back into the grass. "I'm going to guess you're referencing a conversation I just had with Ms. Dawson."

"It seems I've a rather nasty habit of overhearing the conversations you have with her." Anna shifted, shushing Bernie when he went to move. "But I can't say that I'm sorry so I'll just skip to the part where I'll feign shame about intruding on a private moment."

"I'm not sure it's a private moment if it's had in a very public kitchen." John took a breath. "But I guess it's all out in the open now."

"Was it ever not?"

"It wasn't private, if that's what you mean, but it wasn't public either."

"Like the twins."

John frowned, "What?"

"When I was in school, we had a set of twins in our year. Teachers always struggled to tell them apart and those two didn't even try to dress alike." Anna shrugged, "But, in secondary school, one of them went to this special school for science and the other did drama. Suddenly people only knew one or the other of them and whenever their new friends saw them together there was a double take."

"Sounds rough."

"I think it was the most freeing thing to happen to either of them. To finally be separate and individual after all that time defined by the existence of the other." Anna gave a little smile. "It wasn't as if they kept the fact that they were twins a secret but it wasn't something they had stamped on their foreheads. If they didn't have to say it, they kept it to themselves but then people would, inevitably, get offended like the lack of knowledge was an affront and they now demanded satisfaction."

"People get weird ideas about what they're entitled to know." John chewed the inside of his cheek, "But I'm curious what part of the conversation you seemed determined to find so interesting you'd eavesdrop to hear it."

"There was no dropping of eaves here." Anna made a show of pouting, her forehead scrunching as her eyes stared off into a distance only she perceived. "But I found your view on love rather romantic."

"I'm just a pineapple at heart."

"Spiny on the outside, soft on the inside?"

"Yeah."

"You're wrong, Ms. Smith." John shifted, sitting straighter. "Absolutely wrong."

"How so?"

"Because you're suggesting I'm, in any way, spiny." John faked his own huff, "I am, in fact, completely bland on the outside."

"Are you?"

"Indeed." John put a hand to his chest, a show of theatricality completely lost on the woman before him. "I'm like the word 'nice'."

"Nice?"

"Correct. Bland as paste."

"I find you to be the exact opposite of paste, Mr. Bates." Anna's voice carried a little laugh that faded into a more contemplative tone. "And your ex-wife is wrong, you know."

"Was she?"

"Of course." Anna reached out a hand and John took it. Her fingers squeezed into his skin and her voice firmed. "What you do is important."

John returned the squeeze of her hand but when Anna did not pull away, neither did he. "Thank you for saying it."

"It's the truth, John, not just me blowing hot air at you." Anna shuffled on the grass, scooting closer to John so Bernie rolled to his side to take over the vacated space. "I don't know what you did when you were a… What did you do before?"

"I was a neurosurgeon." John swallowed, "It was about as fun as it sounds."

"It sounds expensive." Anna lowered her hand but kept her grip tight enough on John's to force him to move closer to her. "And you probably did good work. I've no doubt you were an excellent surgeon and you represented your field well."

"But?"

"But," Anna shook their joined hands slightly. "Some things are more important than money at the end of the day. Not enough people have the courage to accept that and act in the full knowledge of what they know to be true."

"I didn't go on a crusade, Anna."

"Is being someone others look to in their final moments not an act of mercy?" Her fingers flexed against his before she drew them away. "Is it not the act of a noble warrior to stand by and give honor to the dead?"

John kept quiet a moment before speaking. "I have to wonder what books Ms. Dawson's reading to you when I'm not around."

Anna snorted a laugh and batted her hand in his general direction. "Laugh all you want but that doesn't make my words any less true."

"I don't disagree but I do have to wonder, in all seriousness, what it is to be so poetic with something as simple as a change in my career choice."

"Career changes are not simple." Anna's gaze turned from a thousand-yard stare to one closer to a vague space around her body. "It takes a lot of courage."

"You're not wrong." John let out a puff of air before forcing himself to his feet. "And this career change means I've got to get myself home to pack."

"Ah yes." Anna raised a hand and John helped her to stand, noting Bernie immediately taking up his position next to her. "You're coming to London with us."

"It's a family trip and, as some might say, I'm part of the family now." John shrugged, "Even if I'm just the hired help."

"You make it sound like being the hired help is a bad thing."

"Absolutely not. We've all got to earn a living somehow." John shuffled in place. "It's… It is a bit weird, going on the family holiday."

"It's a bit more professional than that but…" Anna bit at her lip. "It's one of my holidays and I don't think I'll mind the company."

"Gwen'll be on hospital duty so you'll be stuck with me."

"That's why I said I wouldn't mind the company." Anna's weight shifted and John noted the flex of her fingers in Bernie's fur. "I don't know if you've noticed, John, but I do rather enjoy your general presence."

"And here I thought you just wanted me to read scandalous books to you because you can't see how red my cheeks get."

"Do they get red?" Anna grinned at him and reached out a hand. Her fingers grazed over his jaw before her palm could fit to his cheek. "Feels fine to me."

"It's a rush of blood, not a fever." John bent his neck a little and shifted to close the distance between them. "Can you feel anything now?"

"No." Anna's fingers drew so slowly over his skin she almost set John shivering before she pulled away. "But maybe this is the blind woman's version of you being grateful for the dark because then I can't see how red you get when you blush."

"I'm learning to control it better."

"Good. Because the book you're reading me isn't nearly as racy as you think it is." Anna gave him another grin. "Trust me, I could've given you something far more salacious to read."

"Thank you for thinking of my dignity."

"I don't know you well enough to make you squirm just yet." Anna's jaw flexed a moment. "But I'm enjoying what I know about you so far."

"As am I. Although," John rubbed at the back of his neck. "It does feel a little one-sided… If I'm being honest."

"Because you've not had the chance to eavesdrop on any of my conversations?"

"Yes."

"Then," Anna took a deep breath, "I'll tell you that I live in Mary's house because it's not only convenient but because a part of me, and the percentage of that part fluctuates by the day, takes advantage of the guilt she feels about my condition."

"I wasn't aware guilt was an emotion with which Mrs. Mary Crawley could be afflicted." John's joke only earned him a second of a smile from Anna.

"You'd think so because she hides the existence of her heart well. It's one of her most incredible tricks. But she has one and it beats strongly for a few people." Anna put a hand on her chest. "I'm lucky enough to be one of those people."

"And she feels guilty where you're concerned?"

"Of course." Anna tapped Bernie's side. "She's the reason, technically speaking, that I'm blind now."

London, England – Caustically Beautiful

Pushing away from the bar, John waved a hand for Luther to notice him and they found a booth that gave them both clear views of the two possible exists from the Grimy Badger's restaurant. Luther shook his head as he sat, "You could've picked a better spot."

"It's my spot so it was the easiest one to pick." John shrugged, "Besides, I've got to test the system anyway to make sure no more weirdos can sneak up on me again."

"So you do it outside the club you own?"

"Do you know a better place to case without getting the likes of you called on me?" John snorted at Luther's conciliatory gesture. "What've you found out about that tosser anyway? It's been a week."

"And you say that like this is a serial that wraps in forty minutes or less." Luther stretched in his gray suit coat and adjusted his red tie. "It's all backlogged, you know that. There's never enough money for all the things that need doing and a lot of justice gets lost in the dust of public service."

"It's a thankless job."

"It's a shit job but someone's got to swallow the spit and the piss and the poison to do it and since you've got yourself all cushy with a model that just leaves me." Luther sighed, "Not that I'd trade you. Give me someone with a knife over Anna Smith any day."

"Why'd you say that?"

"I've heard people talk about her moods and it's no picnic." Luther leaned forward, "But she seems to treat you well enough."

"I'm getting paid to protect her."

"Doesn't mean she's got to be nice to you."

"Don't tell her that." John snorted, "She might stop trying to."

"Maybe." Luther sighed, running a hand over the close-shaved hair at the top of his dark head. "But, all that being said, the one we grabbed is just a nutter. Plain and simple."

"Nothing nefarious about him?"

"A few more screws loose than I'd prefer but he just strikes me as the obsessed type. A struggle but not one solved by tossing him in the clink, all thinks considered."

"Fair." John sighed, "And that's a bit of closure, in a way."

"It's the shit of the world is what it is." Luther signaled the barman. "You got a tab for me here?"

"It's ten in the morning."

"And I wouldn't judge you if this was you off a forty-eight-hour shift." Luther nodded at John, "How is the gig, otherwise?"

"Not as bad as I expected." John leaned back into the booth's cushion. "She's not as crackers as Robert would've had me believe."

"People usually say someone's crackers when they don't want to find out why they might be acting outside the 'norm'." Luther made air quotations before turning to the waitress. "I'd like a beer. No, two and a shot of tequila."

The waitress frowned and turned to John. John nodded and she turned on her heel to return to the bar. Luther shuffled in place, moving his red tie to the side, and then addressed John again. "But as for your not-so-crackers principle… She's got an interesting history with the police."

"Is it about her lighting a building on fire?"

"Nah." Luther shook his head and then took one of the beers the waitress left on the table. With the other one he dropped the shot of tequila in it and shrugged at John's face. After a few pulls of beer he put down the first glass. "Whatever she did when she burned down that building got covered by insurance or whatever. I'm not an arson investigator."

"Then what do you have on her?"

"Not 'on' her, about her." Luther finished his first beer and sighed. "She filed a restraining order against someone but no action was taken on it."

"Did she file anything before that?"

"She had a couple of calls about being followed and thought she had a stalker but…"

"Let me guess," John tightened his jaw, "No one took her seriously."

"Most of them said they were trying to get her autograph. Or asked her to pose for pictures." Luther turned the empty glass in his hand before shaking his hand. "Probably for wanking off to later but the most embarrassing part was that none of them followed up on any of her complaints."

"Bastards."

"Exactly." Luther picked up his second drink. "That's why you'll deal with me on this case and no one else. I don't care whatever anyone says, they can feck themselves if they get involved with this."

"You're serious?"

"As the plague." Luther downed his drink until the tequila shot glass clanked empty in the equally empty beer glass. "I don't trust any of them and if this nutter turns out to be more than just your garden variety madman, I'll handle it myself."

"That… That means the world to me Luther."

"I hope so since I put myself in deep shit to get it done." Luther grimaced and put a fist to his chest as he burped inside his mouth. "Sometimes I forget I'm not twenty-one anymore and I shouldn't drink like I am."

"Should I start calling you your age?"

"Hey," Luther leveled a finger at John. "Age or not, I can still whip your ass like I did on the training fields when you were wet behind the ears and shivering during your exercises with live fire."

"I didn't shiver."

"Sure." Luther snorted and shook his head. "All that time… Makes me wonder if I wasted it all."

"I'm not sure I'm wasted enough to have this talk with you."

"Probably not." Luther forced himself to stand and put up a hand to stop John joining him. "Nah, I got this."

"You're not driving are you?"

"I've got an Uber or something." Luther pursed his lips. "And besides, I think you'll want to give the news to your principle."

"After you tell me," John leaned forward, "Who did she say was stalking her?"

"Same bloke she filed the restraining order against." Luther frowned and dug into the inside pocket of his coat to pull out a bent card. "I scribbled his name here. He's from out of town, works in Paris or whatever, but he was on extended stay here when it happened. Ex-pat, from what I could find."

"And nothing happened with him?" John studied the name, frowning.

"The one copper who did his job, younger constable trying to prove himself, wasn't able to get a straight answer from him and gave it up as a bad job." Luther lowered his voice, "Didn't help that everyone apparently told him that your Ms. Smith was just a hysterical ex-model trying to get relevant through infamy or whatever."

"These are the same blokes that drooled for her picture to file in their spank banks yeah?" When Luther nodded John almost saw red. "But nothing ever happened with… Mr. Green? That's his name right, Green?"

"Alexander Green, yeah." Luther shook his head, "And, far as I know, he's back in Paris so no one's going to go chasing him down."

"Not that they chased him down when he was here." John tucked the card into his wallet. "Thanks for this."

"Not sure what good it'll do you but it's information." Luther slapped a hand on John's shoulder. "See you later mate."

"Bye." John waved him off, standing and wincing as his prosthetic tweaked a second. He adjusted his trouser leg to reset the catch and sighed as the pinching sensation immediately ceased. He sighed and started toward the bar to get the waitress over. "Settle DCI Luther's tab with me and make a note to have it taken from the final count for today when they tally the accounts tonight."

"Got it boss."

John opened his mouth but stopped himself and smiled. "Tell Thomas I'll be-"

"By in a few days?" Thomas leaned on the side of the bar. "Because we're just a side hustle to you now?"

"You know it's not that Thomas." John closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I've told you before, this is favor to a friend and since the Badger's-"

"This place was built by you, John. People come here for you. They want you to be around and when you're not…" Thomas shook his head. "This place isn't the same without you here and everyone knows it."

He drew close to John. "You know it too."

"This job isn't forever, Thomas."

"But this place might not be here when you're finished with your job." Thomas stepped back, "Or maybe it just won't have a place for you when you want to come back."

John's brow furrowed, "Are you making a threat?"

"Maybe."

John took a deep breath, held it a second, and then let it out. "Fine."

Thomas blinked, "What?"

"If you want to take this place because you think I can't run it and do the job I've got right now, then do something about it." John snagged a napkin and wrote something out before handing it to Thomas. "If you think you can do it, sign there. It'll be official."

"It's not-"

"Maudie." John called over his shoulder and the waitress came over to where John and Thomas stood at the bar. "You'll be the witness to this."

"To…" Maudie read the napkin and her eyebrows rose. "Are you serious?"

"As Thomas is." John extended his pen toward Thomas. "If you're serious."

Thomas worried the napkin in his fingers before swallowing and handed it back to John. "Just show up will you?"

"I'll see what I can do about that." John took the napkin back and handed it to Maudie. "Please keep this. Just in case Thomas changes his mind when he's getting frustrated about being second-in-command here."

Thomas glowered and shook his head. "If I'm basically running this place then I should be paid like I am."

"If that's what's crawled up your ass, then just talk to our accountant about it and then give me something to sign." John took a deep breath, "And then get approval for more help or whatever."

"I didn't-"

"You're whinging and it's annoying." John held up a hand to stop Thomas's argument. "If you've got legitimate complaints, beyond people liking me or the fact you feel underpaid, then let me know and we'll find a solution. Otherwise rant on a blog and leave the actual problems to be solved."

He took a deep breath, "Is that agreeable to you?" Thomas gave a curt nod and John let out a sigh. "Then I'll be going. Talk to Bertie about your change in status and have him send me the break down."

John twisted to look over his shoulder at Maudie. "Are we all good here?"

"Good as can be boss." She shrugged, "I've got no arguments except we could use a couple more hands. Bussers and stuff."

"Talk to Bertie too then." John checked his things before nodding at the both of them. "I'm off then, unless there's another fire I need to douse."

Both Thomas and Maudie kept silent and John headed out the door. His hand was in his coat, pulling out his phone as he shivered in the brisk wind while flagging down a cab. Keeping his phone to his ear, he entered the cab and handed over a card before settling back into the seat.

"William? Yeah, I'm on my way now." John frowned, "Wait, what?"