The nightmares appear again that night. Kakashi is cradling his head with his heart in his throat, this time his father was laying in his room with his insides cut open instead of his teammates cries.
He goes through the routine of taking a shower, cold again, and willing the sight of his father's blood on the carpet until his nails turn blue.
Kakashi stops at the mouth of the stairs, wondering about their last conversation. Sachi had offered him help, and he did remember the time in the war that she made his nightmares go away. He never asked why, not caring as long as he could have a night of good sleep, but…
"The only thing I can do to honor the dead is live for them too."
And Kakashi wanted to live.
The steps don't creak, and there's light on the walls when he puts his hands on the carved lines along them. He follows their warmth, hesitating just a second before rasping his fist against the door.
He almost hopes that Sachi won't answer, just so he could say that he tried and didn't work, to go back to his routine where he knew pain but he knew how to deal with it.
"Come in." she says softly, letting him in her office.
"You're working. You said you wouldn't."
"I said that I wouldn't work anymore today, meaning yesterday. It's two in the morning, come on." she doesn't let him reproach her sneaky ways, and Kakashi doesn't want to, letting her drag him gently across her office.
"You're giving me your bed?"
"Do you want to sleep on the floor?"
Kakashi looks around, realizing that Sachi's office doesn't have a couch, just the lone armchair behind her desk. "... why…?"
"Because I would sleep in my office, and Kasui told me he won't heal spine deformities. There you go."
Kakashi takes a step inside and… oh.
Sachi's bedroom is… a bed. A giant bed that occupies the whole room, several pillows strewn across one end. Ebony wood with a stark white mattress, covered with crimson sheets.
"What kind of size is this, double king? Emperor?"
Sachi's answer is to push him forward, Kakashi falling face first on the bed on purpose, and almost having an orgasm right then and there.
"Where did you buy this…?"
"I'll tell you later. You're tired, get comfortable."
He turns around, not willing to depart from the bed. "How… are we going to do this."
"Stop looking like I'm here to take your virginity away. It will be like last time, lay down how you want and I'll take care of it."
Kakashi looks at her, trying to find mockery, or see the smile she had before you realized she played you, that it was a cruel joke. He doesn't, and so he climbs further into the bed, laying on the plump, fluffy yet firm, pillows and discovers there's a mirror on the ceiling.
"Don't ask." Sachi warns, kneeling by the side of the bed. "Close your eyes and try to fall asleep."
("Close your eyes and try to sleep," she murmurs, putting a hand on his forehead. "It'll be okay." He listens, his soul so heavy and shattered he doesn't have enough strength to argue. He's soothed by her warmth and familiar scent, he knows she won't hurt him, she will help him.)
Her hand is warm too, even more so after an icy shower; he doesn't dislike it. Her skin is marred with scars, soft and rough at the same time, with a feathery touch. Her scent is the same, stronger in her bed, and he can't help but relax. Sachi was a bastard, a downright witch, but she kept her promises.
"Night darling."
Kakashi doubts he will fall asleep soon, but Sachi's bed was made in heaven, because he's suddenly tired again. The anxiety is still there, never quite leaves, but he finds it easier to fight when he's surrounded by the best mattress he had laid upon. The static is there, louder but easier to ignore, as Sachi's hand moves from his forehead to his temple.
She's gentle, he thinks, as he drifts.
.
For the first time in a very long time, Kakashi opens his eyes without feeling as if he's falling apart. In fact, he doesn't even open his eyes, burrowing himself in the pillows and stretching lazily. Pop, pop, pop, goes his spine, feeling as if he's taken away two decades of sleeping in trees from his back.
He feels at peace, finally. His body is rested, and complacent, no signs of lingering exhaustion in his bones, or the ache in his muscles. No migraine, no nausea, no nervousness; only blissful soft mattress with perfect pillows.
The room is barely illuminated, slight light that reflects off the mirror and basks the bedroom in a late afternoon glow.
"... what… hour is it?" he moans, stretching his body as much as possible until the very last joint pops and loosens.
"... five in the afternoon?" comes the answer.
Kakashi feels his heart jump, the bed shifting a little as Sachi rises, a big yawn on her lips. If he thought her hair was wild before, Kakashi can say that he was wrong. Sachi has the worst bed hair he had seen, and he hasn't used a brush since his father died. Sachi usually had it tied up and straightened, but that morning —afternoon— it was all over the place, so much that the bandages had come loose at some point, leaving a lock of hair sticking vertically.
"Why you starin' me for?" she says, yawning again.
"Didn't expect you here."
"'s my bed." she drops on the bed again, her limbs spread out like a starfish, and her face twisted to the side where she doesn't have stitches.
Apparently, Sachi is not an early riser. That observation sits strange in Kakashi's mind, because he knew that Sachi was the first to arrive at the office and the last to leave, motive why he could find her prowling around the streets at buttfuck am. Something stirs in his chest, where his locked box of emotions sits, and… it's disconcerting.
Sachi seemed more like a myth than a real person; smarter than anyone and surrounded by secrets that Kakashi couldn't even begin to wonder about. And yet, there she was, her hair a downright mess, snoring in the awkward position while a blue snail sits on top of her head, fussing. "Meds, meds!" it says. "Meds, meds!"
"Okay, okay." Kakashi amends, getting up. It feels a sin to leave the bed, but Kakashi won't try his luck and have another nightmare ruining his day.
The house is warmer today, autumn as it was. Kakashi enjoyed the silence, letting his hand trail over the walls and seeing it light up in greeting. He skips the last step of the stairs, in a good mood to hum along with the seals' static.
He finds Sachi's meds in the bathroom, a scroll that says 'Take one every day, or die - K.', which is not difficult to guess who wrote it. He brings it up with a glass of water.
Sachi is in the same position, sleeping like the damned dead while the snail was fretting on top of her. Kakashi sets the items on a bedside table, shaking Sachi's shoulder a little bit to wake her.
She doesn't even stir. He grabs her tighter, not a death grip, but strong enough to move her entire body. She mutters something, and Kakashi calls her name. "Sachi, wake up."
"Nngh… why?"
"Time for your meds."
"...later."
"Now." he shakes her harder. "You can sleep later, but you need your meds."
"...mean." she says, taking a deep breath and rising once more. She seems more awake this time, but her eyes are firmly closed, reaching for the table with uncoordinated pats.
"Open your eyes. Here." Kakashi is… considerate, helping Sachi get up as she struggles to open her eyes. He wonders if that's what she does every morning, and if she does, how has she managed to live by herself. "There you go, good morning."
Sachi's eyes open up, letting him see those bright yellow irises of hers. She's lost for a good while, staring at him blankly before saying. "Oh, right! How did you sleep?"
"Take this and I'll tell you." he hands her the scroll, giving her the water after he puts the pills in her mouth. "Didn't know you were a deep sleeper."
"Comes with the lobotomies. So, did you sleep well?"
"I did, thank you."
"Anytime. Damn, it's late." she says, getting up with clumsy movements, touching her head with a wince. "You want to eat lunch, or we go directly for dinner?"
"What about we go outside for a bit? Feel up for it?"
"Hmm, okay. Going to shower first though."
Twenty minutes later they're ready to go. Kakashi watches as Sachi changes into the one he thought he knew all along. She puts her hair up, tying it with a red ribbon, before putting her hitai-ate in place. He had put more iodine on the wound and some plaster tape to keep the gauze steady.
"Hiding weaknesses?" he asks, noticing how she ties the cloth just so, obscuring the bandages.
"More like fueling rumours."
She puts on a black hoodie and loose pants with the pouch tied around her right tight, the snail snuggly hidden in the collar. "Lipstick or no lipstick?"
"Does it matter?"
"Yes, darlin', it does. Do I go with casual-comfy or comfy-sharp, hmm?"
"Whatever takes less to get done."
Sachi puts lipstick on.
"You don't lock your house?"
"Why should I?" she counters, her red lips matching her Inuzuka fangs and he can't help but stare at her smirk. "Do you know what happens when people try to get into a seal master's house?"
"Um, no?"
"Exactly. They don't survive."
"That what your morgue is for?"
She makes a face. "I don't have a morgue, it was a joke."
They cross the threshold, entering the Hokage Tower before going straight to the exit. "Where do you hide those that try to enter your house without permission, then?"
"I let Anko and Kasui's summons eat them." she deadpans, before breaking into a grin. "I store them into body scrolls and leave it on their doorstep tied with a bow."
"So they don't go bad?"
"See, you get it! They say it's creepy."
Kakashi enjoys her banter, not on edge anymore. The voice whispers at the back of his mind that it's temporary, and that they will go back to hating each other, and that they can't be together, but Sachi is by his side, and he finds he doesn't care.
"Why do people are avoiding us?" he asks just to hear her snicker.
People are staring at them, and even though he had always been aware that Leaf had a healthy fear of having them two in close proximity, he hadn't known that it wat so bad that people crossed the other side of the street to avoid them.
"Because they haven't seen us together without kunais out since… always? Wow, we really hate each other, don't we?"
"Very much." he agrees, catching a glimpse of a man hastingly closing his shop as they pass by. "We don't fight all the time…"
"Um, I think we do."
"Not since this morning."
"Morning meaning an hour ago, give us time." she tells him, crossing the Main Plaza and going underneath the prairifire. "The only time we don't fight is when we eat together."
"Hmm true. Can't fight with an empty stomach."
People let them through as if they are going to war, and Kakashi feels strangely powerful. He's sated, minimally hungry and not angry at all, and so he enjoys the fear in Leaf's people as they walk together. Sachi notices as well, and so she leans over, whispering. "See you in the lower level."
Then, she's sprinting.
People gasp and whimper as Kakashi gives chase, the instinct of going after her ingrained in his body like her carved seals. It takes no time at all to match her pace, jumping roof to roof and startling bystanders that recognize them too well to not get away.
Kakashi is… happy, and he notices when the anger that made him go forward, pull a kunai, and throw it at her, doesn't come; instead, he's content, a light sentiment of leisure as they approach the divide. Sachi, being her, pushes him over the edge, Kakashi having already predicted that scheme and grabbing her arm, pulling her with him.
They go together, the rush of precipitating to the ground breezing by as they challenge the other to slow down first, to take the branches to break their fall. They do so at the same time, Kakashi keeping as close to Sachi as possible in case her injury acts up.
It's… nice, to not be angry for once. The miracle of a good night's rest, he supposes. "I win."
"It's a draw."
"Whatever you say."
"A. Draw."
They walk in silence, recovering from their little race, and enjoying each other's presence. He hadn't believed possible to stand so close to her and not want to strangle her, but… he finds he doesn't mind.
Maybe they can stay like this.
"Where are we going?" he asks after they reach the edge of the village, the sun starting to set.
Her eyes are the hue of the sun, he thinks, and he's charmed by how she looks at him, relaxed, happy, loving—
"I have an idea, follow me."
They go back through a small alley, people filling the streets for the nightly entertainment. There are couples walking together, side by side like they are, because ninja seldom hold hands. They are in their own bubble, maybe going home to enjoy dinner together, or meeting with friends at a bar. Maybe not at all, and all of them are like them, together just by consequence instead of willingness.
But… it's okay, he thinks, I like us.
"My, my, my, if it isn't our feral pup."
"Hello to you too, Obu. Chaiiro." she says, waving at them.
Kakashi hasn't been to the Inuzuka Compound in his life, the unspoken rivalry between the Hatake and Inuzuka keeping him on the other side of village religiously.
(There were Inuzuka clansmen at his father's funeral, giving him a bottle of sake that he buried with his casket, too young to drink it.)
"Oh? Don't you know how to greet, Hatake?"
"Figured you sensed us from a mile away."
"'course we did. Are you two here to cause trouble or beg Tsume for money for whatever you broke this time?"
"Kakashi broke my head, does that count?"
Kakashi is worried for exactly one second that Obu might jump him and let Chairo maul him, but he starts cackling until he's out of breath and pats Sachi on the shoulder. "So it's true! Damn, pup, you're still trying to finish that list of yours? Get in there, Tsume's been sulking."
"What list?" he asks after they cross the gates, howls announcing their arrival.
"Ashi and Tsume said that I had a list with all the clans on it, and every time one of them put me in the hospital, I scratched their names."
"...do you? Have a list, I mean?"
"It's not my fault that shit keep happening to me. I've got Hyuuga, Uchiha, Yamanaka, all of the Sannin, Akimichi for that time Chōza sat on me on accident, got into a bad fight with an Aburame once but I didn't go to the hospital that time… and Hatake, several times for that one."
He huffs a laugh. "Glad to know I'm not the only one that hates you."
"I'm hard to love, darlin'." she opens the door to the main house of the Inuzuka, yelling. "I'm here! Do you have food?!"
"STOP SHOUTING!"
Inuzuka Tsume, alpha of her clan, welcomes them in with a ferocious scowl and her teeth bared. "What did you do? Come on, spit it out."
"I didn't do nothing!" she protests, taking her sandals at the entrance, pointing Kakashi to do the same. "We're hungry, and the compound was closer."
"Didn't have your head caved in by your Hatake there?"
"Yep, figured you'd pity me enough to feed me."
Tsume grins, slapping her arm lightly and letting them in. "Make your cookies and I will."
"Deal."
Kakashi endures Tsume's piercing eyes on him as he goes after Sachi into the Inuzuka home. It feels… homey, the scent of dog keeping the edge away somewhat. What truly made him not snap when Tsume took a seat across from him on the kitchen table was the sight of Sachi busying herself around them.
"So, what happened?"
"Didn't Kasui tell you?"
"'course he did." Kuromaru, a beast of a dog, answers as he trots inside the kitchen. "Welcome back, pup. Hope you're making treats too."
"Do you people actually care about me or just my cooking skills?"
"It's why we kept you around after nee-chan died." Inuzuka's liked to joke about painful subjects, Tsume affected by Ashi's death as much as Sachi's had been. What if… that's how it was supposed to be? Speak about them, not letting them hang in the air like a disgusting smell that no one wanted to acknowledge, and instead bringing them up, not letting them be forgotten. "So, details?"
"Got into a spar, slipped, Kakashi backfisted me, died for a bit, Kasui brought me back and beat Kakashi to a pulp."
"Huh. So, the usual?"
"Yep."
Kakashi was baffled at the conversation. "Are you… okay with that?"
Tsume frowns at him, a similar red lipstick to Sachi's giving her mouth a bloodstained mouth, completely terrifying woman. "What?"
"With… almost killing Sachi?"
"You asking me now, Hatake?" Kuromaru chuckles darkly underneath the table. "Or asking for permission?"
"Um…"
"Messin' with ya. Sachi's a grown pup, she knows how to take care of herself."
"Thank. You!, Finally someone agrees!"
"Idiot as she is." Sachi cusses her out, starting the stove. "I don't like her hurt, but she's got Kasui for that."
"And us." adds the dog.
"That goes without saying. About the usual thing, Sachi's been so near death that the novelty's worn off by now."
"It's not my fault—"
"That death chases ya? Pup, one is bad luck, two is suspicious, fifty times's a pattern. You do the math."
"Just because I'm the common denominator—"
"See what I'm saying?" she points a thumb at Sachi. "Idiot. Accidents happen, nee-chan pulled out a tooth from her during her first spar, you know? Got too cocky and lasted five minutes."
"I messed up! I didn't pivot right, and didn't knock her out…"
Tsume gives him a look that says 'see? Told you'. "Though, didn't think you were going for the kill, Hatake, bored from your little games?"
"It was an accident."
"Yeah, I know. Sachi wouldn't have let ya in the house if it hadn't."
"I act as a gatekeeper for unhinged ninjas, or what?"
"You do." Kuromaru says. "More meat, please."
"We got worried that this time's was Sachi's last make-out with ol' death, but you got her to Kasui in time."
Tsume's eyes are completely different from Sachi's, but they carry the same intent. Similar to the Hyuuga's they appear to look right through him, like any excuse, justification or lie would be useless against her. It's… an unsettling feeling, and yet reminiscent of his childhood when his father would call him out anytime he tried playing him with words. Sachi took after the Inuzuka in that aspect, then.
"Got you too, am I right?"
"Pulled a water dragon on him after banging his head in the garden."
"Oh, he was tired, then. Was the surgery that bad?"
"Hmm, maybe? He had a full day at the hospital, so maybe that's why."
"What's the diagnosis?"
"Contusion, small fracture to the right temporal lobe, ten stitches. Managed to pull the concussion to mild. Had to restart the heart."
"You did her pretty good this time, eh, Hatake?" she says dryly. "Everything good with your attic?"
Kakashi doesn't miss the last part, charged with a meaning that he loses as Sachi chops vegetables and puts it into a stockpot. "Still tidying it up, got locked there for a bit."
That worries Tsume more than the fact that she flatlined once. Kakashi wants to ask, but stops himself at the troubled expression of the Inuzuka matriarch. It wasn't his place to ask, he caused it, after all.
"You good?"
"Yes, glad to be breathing on my own again, thanks for asking Kuromaru."
"You?" the dog asks Kakashi, licking his nose. "Kasui got you, how you doin'?"
"Ah… he didn't break anything. I'm fine."
"Really tired." Tsume decides, taking in his nonexistent injuries. "So, wanna tell me what you're doing here, Hatake? Or is this some kind of game between ya?"
"Kasui took him to court to demote him."
"Didn't ask you, pup. Speak, Hatake, put that mouth of yours to work."
The innuendo put shivers down his spine, the horrified kind. So that's where Sachi got her dirty jokes. "Sachi made a deal with the Hokage to avoid being reviewed by Psych. She said that she could prove that we could get along without killing each other, that we could behave. I have to take care of her until she heals."
Tsume hums, low in her throat as she takes that in. "Well, sounds like Sachi. How's that comin' along?"
"Perfectly fine, as you can see."
"Oh yeah? No murder attempts, no fights?"
"... fish or meat?"
Tsume laughs loudly, showing pointy teeth that Kakashi didn't want to see. "I see. Your business, pup, do what you wanna. And it's meat, what you gonna have, Hatake?"
"Meat is fine, thank you."
"Look at ya, polite and everything. You can be comfortable here, no one's gonna eat ya. I've seen you fight the pup here, and I know you aren't that nice."
Tsume was taunting him, and Kakashi, very wisely, turned to Sachi for help.
"He's nice when he's got a lawsuit hangin' from his neck." she settles with, taking out a scroll that has meat scribbled on it.
"Yeah? That's one thing you gotta learn from him. A suit never stopped you from doin' your thing. What did you say, back with the Uchiha thing?"
"That was so long ago, come on!"
Tsume looks at Kakashi, a vindictive smirk on her face. "Did she tell ya what she did with the Uchiha?"
Sachi gives him a look that says 'don't', Kakashi, because he's not above familiar embarrassment, says. "No, she didn't."
"Oh, ho, ho. This gonna be good. Listen up, so, Sachi was like ten, in the Academy still. There was this Uchiha, and hell was gonna freeze over before they didn't cuss the other out. Kinda what you have with Sachi but Academy version." Kakashi tries to imagine Sachi in the Academy and he sees a tiny Sachi, with shorter hair but still stubborn as she was now. "Arisu was that girl's name, and let me tell ya, you think Sachi hates you? It's nothing compared to what she felt towards her. Believe me, I heard her and Kasui complain about her the whole time." she shakes her head. "One day, I think they were outside, break maybe?"
"We were waiting for the condition teacher."
"Yeah, that. Thing is, Arisu's mad at something, and she grabs Kasui. Sachi sees it, snaps, and tackles her. Whatever, a fight, always happens, right?" she points at him. "Wrong. You know what that Uchiha did? Threw a fireball at her, got her square in the face, too."
"Really?"
"Yep. A vicious jutsu, too. Sachi's got burned up to a crisp until Kasui made a water jutsu."
"Kasui was my only friend then." Sachi explains. "He got really scared that I was going to die in front of him."
"Ah right, Kasui got the scare of his life, got right into medicine after that. Anyway, I'm telling this story. So, Sachi burns, she's sent to the hospital and Tsunade-hime heals her up. Now, we've got a new problem, what's gonna happen after that? An Uchiha tried to kill an Inuzuka on purpose with a lot of witnesses."
Kakashi is surprised about it. Not that Sachi had a problem with an Uchiha, that much was a given, but the fact that he hadn't heard the full story before. He knew that there was something of a bad blood between Sachi and the Uchiha, but hadn't cared enough to find out. Tsume continues anyway.
"Court is a shitshow. I never saw nee-chan so upset, and damn," she chuckles. "if I was scared, imagine what those old assholes were going through. We had a strong case too, and nee-chan was going to rip them a new hole and feed 'em to the dogs. Thought Sachi was gonna die, so we were all worked up. We were this close to start a fuckin' riot" she puts her fingers together, almost touching. "until the pup wakes up."
"They put me into a coma to let Tsunade heal my injuries." she clarifies, like it was no big deal.
"So, Sachi's awake, and we have to include her into the court, because, you know, she was the one that got burnt up. Uchihas were shitting bricks, and we were looking at them giving up the whole Police Force and part of the lower lands for a settlement. They almost accept, and do you know what Sachi says, the last day of the trial?"
Sachi groans in the background, shoving the cookies into the oven. "She says that she doesn't forgive the brat and then leaves, Tsurugi, the previous Uchiha shrivelled Clan Head, asks her where's she goin', and I quote 'If you must know, Tsurugi-sama, I have a test in approximately ten minutes'."
Tsume howls with laughter, brought to tears. "Oh, Sage, can you imagine? We had the Uchiha by the fuckin' balls, and that one," she waves in her general direction "had the audacity to fuck up everything we did for a whole month just so she could go to take a fuckin' test. If nee-chan was angry before, you should have seen her then, she was ready to burn Sachi herself!"
Kakashi smothers his chuckles, imagining a young Sachi, bored at court while two clans were battling settlement fees. All the while she wanted to go to take the test and not be held back.
"You liked school that much?"
"Oh no, she didn't. She hated every second of it, but she needed to go to take that test because she promised Kasui that they were going to pass the year together."
"Don't listen to her, Kakashi. Tsume's senile," the older woman flips her the bird, still smiling. "I just ended the trial because it was a stupid thing. Arisu-kun and I always fought, and I admit I pissed her off on purpose. Got her revenge though, and I decided it was enough."
"Had better things to do, takin' tests and shit."
"Ashi drilled me for that for years, but I made it up. We did get the lower lands."
"True, but we could've gotten more."
"I wasn't familiar with how to milk the law at the tender age of ten yet, so pardon me for my lack of foresight." she feigns offense. "I know how to that now, so if you want to expand, you know what to do."
"What, call you up? Sachi, I know ya, if I ever told you I wanted the Hokage's hat you would give it to me."
Sachi throws a glance over her shoulder, a mischievous grin barely contained. "Well…"
Tsume shakes her head. "You see what I've put up through all this years? So, yeah. Doesn't surprise me she got you out from the suit, she's got practice."
"You make it sound like it's my hobby to get lawsuits."
"It isn't?" Kuromaru asks, snickering. "'cause you pretty good at it."
"I've got more stories, wanna hear?"
Tsume smiles with a mouth full of teeth, Kakashi hearing Sachi's warning. He turns to her, and they make eye contact as he smiles under his mask. "Please do, Tsume-san. We have time."