South Park: The PC Pandemic Skankhunt Special
I don't own South Park. Trey Parker and Matt Stone do.
(Sorry if you think i've been stalling. My computer crashed and I had to get it fixed.)
Wendy woke up in her room as her alarm went off.
She got dressed had her breakfast and brushed her teeth.
As she hurried downstairs she was faced by her parents who had concerned looks on their faces.
"Wendy..." started Shirley.
"Mom, if this is about me eating the last slice of pie yesterday night, it's not like you or dad would have started eating it anytime soon!" cried Wendy.
"What, no." said Nate, "It's about-wait you ate the last slice of pie last night?"
Shirley sighed and said "Listen Wendy, we went over to Sharon Marsh's place and she told us that you and Randy's son are hanging out together."
"And?" asked Wendy. "Is that a problem?"
"Honey, as much as we support your relationship with Stan, you have to remember, his father started the coronavirus pandemic a year ago." sighed Nate. "It just doesn't sound right for you to be going out with someone who's father destroyed the world."
"But I love him!" cried Wendy. "And his life has been really stressful now, he needs help some support, some love."
"I understand sweetie," Shirley soothed "But you just have to be careful in hanging out with him. It's important to be careful as we're in the aftermath of this Pandemic."
"Says the woman who didn't wear a mask in the changing room at Ross." Wendy muttered under her breath as she walked past her parents and towards the bus stop.
She was approached by Bebe, Red and Nichole.
"Hey Wendy," said Bebe
"Oh hey Bebe." responded Wendy.
"Wendy, we need to talk..now!" glared Red.
"OK, why?" Wendy asked.
"Wendy, we think you should break up with Stan." Said Nichole in a blunt way.
Wendy blinked and said in a calm voice "What?"
"Way to put it in a brutal fashion, Nichole." scolded Red.
"Why do you want me to dump him?" asked Wendy. "He's such a nice guy."
"And we think so too, Wendy." smiled Bebe, "But you have to remember, his dad is responsible for the pandemic that ruined our lives."
"But that doesn't mean we have to blame him!" shouted Wendy. "I'm not giving into peer pressure this time! I made the right choice having him as my boyfriend!"
She was so determined this time, that the girls took a step back.
"And maybe you guys need to reconsider your actions in dumping your boyfriends who all had nothing to do with Skankhunt, hm?"
"We already did," responded Nichole. "Token and I got back together long before Gerald was exposed and now we're officially back on it."
"Kevin and I got back together, too." said Red. "At least He wasn't Skankhunt."
"But HIM!?" scolded Bebe, "His father started COVID, Wendy you need to get your head on straight."
"I'VE GOT MY HEAD ON STRAIGHT!" screamed Wendy. "I see how it is, you guys are just trying to act like the victims again. First it escalated the Gender war upon our school, then it turned Heidi into Cartwoman. Now...this! Well I'm done with this! I'm just done..."
she sighed and slumped away from her friends who all look at each other with concern.
She then saw Stan leaving his house and she ran up to greet him.
"Hi, Stan!" she smiled.
"Hey, Wend..y" Stan responded. He sounded less cheerful and upbeat than he was yesterday in fact, there was something off about him, like some of his energy was drained out of him. "Nice to see y..ou."
Wendy wanted to ask him what was wrong but he just said, "Come on l..let's go to school."
He then walked towards the bus stop with a semi concerned Wendy trailing behind him.
Heidi was on her way to the bus stop. The argument from earlier echoing through her head.
"Heidi, we just don't think it's a good idea for you to hang our with him." pleaded Nancy.
"Mom," Heidi started, in the calmest tone she could manage. "Kyle has been through a lot of pressure lately, with his dad being Skankhunt42, all the abuse he had to go through because of my Eric Cartman phase, him losing Mr. Hankey, being sent to ICE, and now this discrimination at school, I'm trying to help him."
"But honey," reminded Thomas "His father was the same scoundrel who caused you to quit Twitter and get you into your eventual Eric Cartman Phase."
"But it did get me to start wearing this nice hat," argued Heidi.
"But still you need to remember how he's hurt everyone around him." reminded Nancy, "Plus you've already made a mistake with that Cartman boy We don't want you making that same mistake with Kyle."
"And I won't!" cried Heidi, "Kyle is nice, concerning and everything perfect, Better than Eric was! He's not going to manipulate me!"
And with that she turned and ran out the door.
Her inner thought monologue was interrupted when she heard her name be called by two voices.
"Hey Heidi!"
"H-hi Heidi!"
It was Theresa and Isla
"Hi girls!" cried Heidi. "What's goin on?"
"Heidi," smiled Theresa, "The girls and I are going to see the photoshoot of Paris Hilton at the Pepsi Center tonight! Wanna come?"
"Sorry guys," sighed Heidi "But Kyle and I are going to see Disney on Ice, after school."
"Kyle, again?" whined Theresa. "Heidi you do know this is the same Kyle who's dad was Skankhunt 42 right?"
Heidi looked at them.
"The same Skankhunt 42 who forced you off twitter and into an abusive relationship with Cartman." growled Theresa.
"I-If anything...he's worse than Cartman." whimpered Isla.
"Look," sighed Heidi, "I've already got this shit from my parents I don't need it again. Dating Eric was a mistake-even if he was nice to me at first, I wonder why he changed all of a sudden-but Kyle isn't!"
"We're not trying to be mean," said Isla.
"No," responded Heidi, "You've already been mean to me before and that forced me back with Eric, now you're doing it again! At least Kyle doesn't drive me to say things like mock you Theresa for living in a 'trailer park' or you Isla for being a 'pussy with your emotions!'" she stopped immediately when she heard what came out of her mouth.
Her friends were staring at her agape.
Heidi looked nervously at them and said, "Look, let's just get to school all right, good day!" she embarrassedly scurried away leaving Theresa and Isla looking at each other in shock.
Randy was in the farm.
He entered Sharon's room and looked at the half bed. He sighed miserably.
He looked around inside the closet for any type of belongings that may belong to her.
When he opened the closet door he found, laying inside a small book.
It read "Family Memories" on the front
He opened it up and looked inside.
The first image had a picture of him in a younger age in front of a building.
The next one had a picture of a younger Sharon with him.
As he flipped through he saw more memories than made him smile.
Like the time they went on that ferris wheel together.
They had that ferry ride in Venice.
Or that Motorcycle ride in Paris.
Then the photos of their Marriage.
A grumpy baby Shelly being born in the hospital.
He still remembered her first word being "turd"
then a baby Stan being born.
He was so cheerful and smiled a lot. He seemed so happy with his life, yet...he remembered ever since they moved to the farm, he had been smiling less and less.
then there was the family being happy together.
They were laughing in every picture and smiling.
Then Randy pulled out his phone to see some of the photos he had taken on his phone.
They were in front of a giant amusement park Randy remembered he wanted to buy, his family were smiling...but those smiles were less bright and wide
Then they were at the Block Buster store Randy remembered buying back in 2012. He was extremely overjoyed...his family was giving off more forced smiles.
Then they were at the renovating houses, Sharon's smile was no more (not small or forced), a complete frown.
Then he switched to the first picture of them when they first arrived at Tegridy Farms. Sharon, Stan and Shelly were all glaring daggers behind his back. Not happy at all.
Randy looked up in guilt.
He knew he was unhappy with his life and followed his dreams to make his life better, but he never realized how upset the others were and didn't share his same sentiment.
He only went around from telling Sharon the truth about him starting the pandemic when he caught her with his Marijuana because he saw her love it, even when she claimed she didn't. Yet when she figured out the truth, she was furious.
Her parting words to him echoed in his head
"You need to stop thinking about yourself and more about your family..."
But he was! He did all of these dreams to make himself special to them and-
He then stopped and thought to himself.
Was he really doing this for the good of the family...or was he just doing it for the good of himself?
Later that day in school, an assembly was to be held that afternoon.
All the students were in the auditorium...however all of them were separated from Stan and Kyle and all clumped up to one corner in the room.
The only people sitting next to those two were Wendy and Heidi.
"All right student's listen up." PC Principal began. Strong Woman next to him. "As of late we've been-HEY LESLIE SHUT YOUR FUCKIN MOUTH!...Sorry force of Habit. I-I keep forgetting she's gone. Lately I've been seeing some discrimination towards Stan Marsh and Kyle Broflovski.
"Yeah!?" cried Nelly "So what?"
"They totally deserve it!" sneered Scott
"You of all People should understand that!" shouted Lisa Berger
"But we need to let it go!" announced PC. "Just because what their dads have done doesn't mean we have to be mean to them! They're your friends."
"Correction, were our friends!" shouted Butters. "I almost lost my girlfriend and Teddy Bear to those to shit-zos!"
"What does 'shit-zo' mean?" asked Clyde
"It's a combination of Shit-head and Bozo," Butters responded.
"ALL RIGHT THAT'S ENOUGH!" screamed PC Principal. "I HAVE FUCKING HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH ALL YOUR FUCKING BULLSHIT, INSTEAD OF BLAMING THE INDIVIDUAL WHO STARTED THE MESS YOU GO AHEAD AND BLAME THE GROUP ASSOCIATED TO THAT ASSHOLE! YOU'VE ALL BEEN DIVIDED FOR FAR TOO LONG! FIRST THE GENDER WAR, NOW THIS PANDEMIC CREATOR PROBLEM! I'M GONNA LOSE MY FUCKING MIND. IF YOU DON'T START GETTING ALONG NOW I'M GONNA BREAK ALL YOUR FUCKING LEGS! THIS PISSES ME OFF, FORGIVE STAN AND KYLE OR I WILL BREAK EVERY BONE ON YOUR FUCKING, BULL-SHIT, HELL-BORN GOOD FOR NOTHIN' BODIES!
Everyone started shocked for a second, and then shimmied over until they were united with Stan, Wendy, Kyle and Heidi.
Strong Woman took the mike from PC and stated calmly, "Look, We just want to say, just because of one bad apple we shouldn't discriminate the whole tree, it's not like Kyle was the one who trolled innocent people online."
"But he did know, who Skank Hunt was this whole time and never told us, even if that info could have been helpful to stop the war!" countered Token.
"Because he's my dad!" shouted Kyle. "You would have done the same for yours."
Everyone all looked down and silently agreed. If any of their parents were the troll instead, they would have tried to keep it a secret in fear of losing said parent.
"And we all know how Tegridy Farms was suffering for the rest of the Marsh's." reminded Strong. "Poor little Stan didn't want to be on a farm remember? He even wrote that little song about it two years ago."
Everyone nodded at that fact.
"So if there's anyone to be mad at it's Randy Marsh and Gerald Broflovski, not their kids."
"Yeah," the kids agreed.
"So we're going to apologize to Stan and Kyle and shift all our anger and discontent on their fathers!"
"Yeah!"
"And then we will have everything finally go back to normal after so long!"
"YEAH!"
"Wait what?" Stan and Kyle said in Unison.
"Tha-that is right," PC Principal responded. "Just because of what one family member did doesn't mean we blame the whole family."
As soon as those words left his mouth the screen flickered as another broadcast was happening.
It showed. PC Principal and Strong Woman in the cafeteria, Kissing in front of a bunch of oblivious parents, who all had buddha boxes on their heads.
Then they were sneaking out of the school with the PC Babies and walking down the street with them.
They were having a picnic in the park.
They were having a Ski trip.
Then they were eating at a restaurant.
All around them in those images, people were wearing buddha boxes and not seeing the family.
Then one final scene with the PC Babies hugging PC Principal and calling him "daddy!"
The screen flashed off.
The students were all baffled.
PC Principal and Strong Woman stood staring at the screen in utter shock.
"This town is outraged, PC Principal and Strong Woman." scolded Mayor McDaniels.
PC Principal and Strong Woman were in the Mayor's Office.
"What on earth were you two thinking, partnering up and having babies while on duty!?"
"We're sorry, Mayor." sighed PC Principal.
"But you gotta see," pleaded Strong Woman. "We're very good parents, and these are really nice kids, and we've been doing great as both parents and principals."
"You have violated rule 13 of the School Teacher Code: No two staff members will be involved in a sexual relationship with each other. You two are disgraces to PC culture and Strong Females, you are both fired."
"What!?" cried. both PC Principal and Strong Woman,
"Effective immediately." demanded Strong Woman.
PC Principal and Strong Woman looked at each other, their hands intertwined.
"What will we do?" she asked PC.
"I-I don't know." he sighed.
"Well maybe you two should have thought of that before you decided to have sex while being co-workers." scolded Shirley. "I already have a Pandemic Maker Jr. after my daughter I do not need anymore bad influences around this town."
The couple looked at each other and hugged each other before walking out.
"At least, we don't have to hide the fact that we're a family anymore." assured PC Principal.
"We'll be happy to live our lives free of shame and disappointment," smiled Strong Woman.
"But what about the Future of PC?" asked PC.
"I guess we'll leave it to our children...the PC Babies."
The Fourth Graders were inside their classrooms when the PA speaker flickered on.
"Attention Students." Came PC Principal's Voice "We have an announcement. Strong Woman and I are being let go as your Principal and Vice Principal."
"WHAT!?" came all the shocked responded from the Students. "Thank, Jesus." sang Cartman.
"For violating rule 13 of the School Teacher code, we have been fired by our Mayor." responded Strong Woman, "But PC and I will be starting a new career, running our new TV Program "PC Babies."
"As of next week, your original Principal:Principal Victoria will return as your Principal. But still, Remember what we've taught you. Stay Strong you girls, and you boys...Stay PC."
The Intercom flickered off.
some of the kids jumped up from their desks screaming with joy while others were stunned.
Everyone went running out of the classroom to go home. All except Heidi who was scribbling on a piece of paper.
Kyle seemed to notice this and he turned around to her.
"Hey, Heidi what are you doing?"
Heidi looked up with a stern look on her face.
"Those sound-waves from that Broadcast on PC Principal and Strong Woman. I was able to read them, but I still haven't deciphered them." She looked around suspiciously. "Come to my house after School so we can translate them together, who ever did this to our Principals, Mr. Marsh and your dad, is bigger thing than we thought."
Kyle nodded and together they left the building.
Along the way a small black cat watched them. It was holding some sort of device...a phone with the symbol of a top hat.
It said, "I think they're onto us...but maybe they can be of use for us."