Chapter 5

Emma lingered over her tea and biscuits while going over the interaction between the two men from earlier. She could not understand what had gotten into Jake for clearly antagonizing Mr. Churchill. Although she did not know what they were talking about, it was clear that Jake had something against him right from the first word.

Emma sighed into her tea trying to sort through everything she was learning about Jake. It was as though he had changed over the last few months and was now different; hardened, quick to anger, a more jaded man. Jake had always been her calm and controlled older friend who she would run to in times of trouble. He listened and offered advise when she had an issue with a friend or her sister. Jake was the reasonable one, helping her make the right decision and come to her conclusions. He had always been there, and she had assumed that he always just would be, but this was not a Jake she understood or felt entirely comfortable with.

It was just now occurring to her that maybe he also suffered from issues and personal crises. Maybe due to him being so much older, she had never seen him being vulnerable or making mistakes, but it clearly happened. Emma was ashamed to think that she truly had not been as good a friend to him as he had been to her. Regardless of how angry she was, there were many things that he was currently dealing with or struggling with and she did not know about any of them. Maybe she should try being easier on him and hopefully could help him in some way even if he never shared his thoughts with her.

It was with these thoughts that Emma started to head towards her room only to pause by her father's study when she heard her name being discussed.

"… I really do not think you should be allowing Emma to see Frank Churchill. I do not think he has her best intentions at heart," Jake was saying to her father.

Emma saw red. Completely forgetting her resolve from just moments ago, she burst into the study and strode directly in front of Jake Knightley.

"How dare you try to control who I can or cannot see? It is not your place to decide what I can do," Emma yelled at Jake.

"It is for your own good," Jake shot back as he got to his feet and crossed his arms.

"For my own good?" Emma could feel herself trembling with rage. She wanted to hurl something at Jake's head. "Who are you to decide what is for my good? You were unnecessarily rude to Mr. Churchill earlier. Also, I do not remember giving you permission to think you can make decisions for me."

"You do not know Frank or his family!" Jake growled back in frustration.

"No, I do not, but I am trying to get to know him. But of course, another mystery," Emma snorted, "yet another thing you can not tell me. Well guess what, I do not care. You keep your mysteries but do not try to interfere in my life."

"Emma… Jake…" Henry began, trying to diffuse the situation.

Both Emma and Jake ignored Henry as they continued to stare at each other in challenge.

"Drat it Emma, can't you see I am trying to protect you?" Jake spat out.

"Look around you Jake. I am not a child anymore. I do not need you to protect me," Emma shot back as she turned around and headed towards the door.

She paused at the door and turned, "besides, you had promised to cherish and protect Ms. Taylor, and we all know how that ended."

With that parting shot she slammed the door behind her and headed up to her room.

Jake sat at his desk and tried to concentrate on the papers in front of him, but his mind kept traveling in many different directions instead. A few weeks had gone by, but Jake still could not shake the frustration that originated from his last run in with Emma. His two months away had been meant for self reflection and inner peace but he wondered if he should have taken longer to deal with his conflicting emotions. All his life he had tried to do the right thing. Jake had made a promise to his father that he would not squander the opportunity and responsibility that came with having wealth, land, and tenants to look after. He had not only fulfilled that promise but had far surpassed his own father in that respect. Yet, he now found himself the object of gossip and pity anyways.

Jake was generally liked and respected by everyone in Highbury. This was a reputation he had painstakingly cultivated and worked towards. He had said no to many things over the years that men his age would partake in simply because he did not want to just appear a gentleman but live the words. The only thing he had not done as per expectation was marry early. Even when his younger brother had eventually tied the knot, he had resisted. At first, he was content with his bachelorhood and eventually he had wanted to wait for one particular person to grow up.

He had always considered Emma to be his close friend, and there was a time that he had hoped for so much more than just friendship. He shook his head for his naïve and foolish younger self who had wanted Emma to feel something more than brotherly love for him before proposing. He should have just done so as soon as she came of age and hoped her feelings changed over time instead.

Invariably, those hopes regarding Emma had been abandoned the day he had become engaged to Anne and although fate had given him another opportunity, it was clear that Emma was not having similar thoughts.

Jake snorted at the last thought. Having similar thoughts was a far cry, Emma could barely stand to be in the same room as him.

She clearly blamed Anne's inability to return to Highbury on Jake and could not understand how he could break his promise like that. Additionally, all the mystery and secrecy regarding their engagement and its subsequent end, made for a very angry and hurt Emma.

As had become common of late, Jake once again cursed the day he had accidently walked onto a crying Anne Taylor near the pond that connected the two properties. If he had not been the one to find her, she would not have seen him as a solution to her problems and concocted the scheme which forced them to get engaged.

Why couldn't Emma trust him and understand there were some things he could not discuss with her? She was an unmarried lady who had led a very sheltered life and there were things he did not want to expose her to. He could not disclose everything without making her precious Ms. Taylor appear in a bad light and Emma would never allow anyone to say a negative word against her beloved governess.

Emma's loyalty was one of the best things about her. And since Jake understood her better than anyone, he knew that loyalty extended to him as well which is why she felt so betrayed and shattered that he could do something so terrible to Ms. Taylor.

Both Jake and Anne had used Emma as a buffer and had wanted her along to avoid the awkwardness in their own relationship. Jake had made the decision to distance himself from Emma once he was engaged but it had been apparent that Anne relied on and looked forward to Emma's presence like Jake (although not for the same reasons), and the pattern had continued throughout the engagement.

It was ironic that the only two private and completely honest conversations him and his fiancé had, were the day they got engaged and the day they ended their engagement. However, the content of the conversation were not things he could share with anyone if he wanted to avoid an even bigger scandal.

Jake finally abandoned his papers and stood up to look out the window. This tension with Emma was new and something he did not know how to deal with. In the past, he would have bought her a trinket or her favorite sweets, but he knew this time it would not be that easy. There were many things he was afraid of after his latest meeting with Emma, the foremost that she would become interested in Frank Churchill, if for no other reason than to spite Jake. And that was something Jake would not accept.

Emma was trying her best to pay attention to the mindless rambling of Ms. Bates during the afternoon tea her sister had organized. She had found a spot away from the remaining ladies, but much to her chagrin was shortly joined by Ms. Bates. She generally loved gossip with the ladies of Highbury and was of the opinion it was important to be current on social affairs around her community. However, these past few weeks she could not seem to concentrate on any task for very long and would find her mind wandering to her conversations with Jake. She did not know how to deal with her confusing feelings for Jake and was having a hard time reconciling the kind, older friend with this hard, mysterious man he seemed to be now.

She was so angry at Jake for hurting and abandoning Ms. Taylor, then being rude to Mr. Churchill for no apparent reason, and then finally trying to control who she could meet.

Emma was mostly lost in her own thoughts while half paying attention to Ms. Bates when suddenly she snapped to attention at the older lady's words.

"… I do believe Mr. Knightley has had adequate time to recover from the recent sad events in his life," Ms. Bates was saying. "He is clearly ready to settle down now and I cannot think of someone who would be better suited for him then my dear Jane. Don't you agree?"

Emma could do nothing but watch in fascination as Ms. Bates launched into a topic she had clearly spent considerable thought on.

"I mean of course I understand this must be a trying time for him, and we all did like Ms. Taylor so very much. However, he needs someone who can heal him with their gentle and calm presence, who will look good beside him, and is fully trained for the requirements his wife's position would have in society. She would need to be fair and just to his tenants and understand the benefit of hard work. Mr. Knightley might have money, but he has never been foolish with his spending and he needs someone who can be equally responsible and not make silly demands of his funds," Ms. Bates continued rapidly.

"Umm… yes… of course," Emma stuttered.

"My niece Jane is everything he could possibly want in a wife. With her sweet temperament and soothing ways, she would be a balm for any man's heart. Also, her skills on the pianoforte are pure magic and when she sings it is as though angels have graced us with their presence," Ms. Bates continued. "Jane is not one to make demands on anyone and everyone agrees that there is no one who is as fair and kind as her. She would do any man a great credit by accepting their proposal."

If she is so wonderful, why has no man already claimed her? Emma shook her head at the unkind thoughts in her head. She was not sure why this conversation was making her so frustrated. All she wanted to do was cover her ears and yell at Ms. Bates to stop.

Didn't she understand that if Jake could leave Ms. Taylor after they were engaged, he could leave anyone without a thought? He was not the man they all thought he was.

"I am sure I would not know what Mr. Knightley is hoping for in a bride," Emma finally murmured. "Or if he is even thinking of marriage so soon after the end of his engagement."

"Well of course he is. He is a man and once they have decided it is time to settle down, they look at the available options and decide based on who meets their requirements," Ms. Bates replied with a hint of superiority.

Was it truly so easy and clinical? Emma wanted to ask.

Instead, she was about to make an excuse about having to chat with her sister when Ms. Bates leaned forward and confided in a whisper, "I should not be saying this, but I believe there is a high likelihood of just such an event occurring. I saw the way Mr. Knightley looked at Jane at the ball the other day and when I asked Jane afterwards if there was someone special that caught her attention, she turned a most becoming shade of pink and confirmed there is. Of course, she would not tell me who, but I am her aunt and I know these things."

Emma swallowed thickly to avoid emptying the contents of her stomach all over Ms. Bates. She could not hide her shock and dismay and tried her best to school her face into a neutral expression. Could it be true? How could Jake just go from Ms. Taylor to being interested in Miss. Fairfax? Emma wanted to throw something across the room but instead just finally murmured something to Ms. Bates and fled the room.