For the next two weeks, this continues. He has early shifts exclusively for now, which works just fine. He's a lot more comfortable going to work because he now knows their routine. He's brave enough to pick his own people and get them ready, sure, sometimes with help, but every day gets better, easier, and he grows in confidence. He knows most names now and can associate them with the right faces. Mercedes hasn't been there every day, but that's fine because that usually gives Blaine the chance to get to know his other new colleagues. There are Kitty and Brittany, two pretty blonde girls who sometimes appear even more at a loss than Blaine himself, but then he watches them work and regrets his thoughts immediately because they're so amazing. There's also Wade Unique Adams, the kitchen boss, and EC. staff he gets to know, like Holly, Artie, David, and a bitchy woman called Terrie. Thankfully, there are also a few other guys who work as nursing assistants, like Joeseph Hart, Sam and, Mike, who turns out to be Tina's husband.
They're all fine, great even, but his heart is lost to Santana. She takes him under her wing and makes sure he's treated respectfully and not like the new loser he actually is. She's around 40, Blaine guesses, beautiful, clever, diligent and like a fairy Godmother to him. On top of all that, she is incredibly funny and sarcastic in a way that enlightens Blaine's damaged heart.
He met the in-house podiatrist, Carole, who turns out to be tall guys step-mum, and the janitor Ken Tenaca. He learns that once a week, either Dr. Finn Hudson or Dr. Emma Pillsbury come in for a visit and he beams when he sees Dr. Pillsbury for the first time inside these walls because she's also Johanna's pediatrician and Blaine adores her.
On the very few days where tall guy isn't there, either Lauren or Noah Puckerman take his place since they're both certified nurses as well. They're fine, Blaine guesses, but he's come to very dislike the days where his boss isn't there. Nothing major even happened, they didn't even bump into one another like those first two days, and when they talk it's either purely work-related or questions about Blaine's wellbeing because of course Rachel told everyone that he has Crohn's. But since no one seems repulsed by it, he's actually fine with it, relieved, even.
Of course, Blaine catches himself sneaking careful glances at tall guy. He tried to stop it, but after 5 days, he accepted that it was simply a lost cause. He still didn't know what exactly was going on with him, but since there wasn't a chance to talk to anyone about this because things with his parents and Cooper kept getting worse at home, he lets it bottle up inside of himself.
Blaine has his own days off, of course, but to be honest, he's come to enjoy work so much, and the time away from home and escaping the bad thoughts and vibes, that he dreads his two days off each week before they even start.
It's also not only the fact that he finds joy in his new job but oddly enough, when he gets home after his long shift, he's so pumped with adrenaline and energy that every single day, he goes for a two-hour-long walk with Johanna. This isn't only great in the sense that she gets her daily dose of motion and fresh air, but that she's so exhausted in the evening that bedtime is a lot more calm and relaxed than it was before.
All in all, things are good, except for the situation with his family.
It's Blaine's third week now and he feels fantastic. Johanna was in a fabulous mood this morning, even slept through the night in her own bed with only one tiny incident where she asked for her dummy.
He's excited and jittery for work because he gets to work with Santana, Rachel and Roz today. (Blaine tries to oversee the fact that the reason for his excitement is actually tall guy, because he's back from his weekend off).
From Rachel; 05:58 AM
want me to pick you up?
Blaine rolls his eyes at her text, but not in an annoying kind of way.
From Blaine; 05:59 AM
rachel I live 5 mins from work, i'll be fine walking.
From Blaine; 05:59 AM
but thanks for asking. X
From Rachel; 05:59 AM
no prob. see u soon B! : - ) 3
Blaine sighs. He's pretty sure Rachel has a crush on him, which is actually very sweet and flattering. She's become a really good friend, surprisingly, and one of the first real friends he's had since moving to his beloved Elm City from Ohio and had to leave Wes behind. But the thing is, he doesn't feel the same for her, even if he feels like sometimes, he's encouraging her when he tries to take his mind off of their boss, and he knows how unfair that is of him, but he can't help himself. And she is very pretty, gorgeous even, he's come to like her babbling and her sometimes annoying humor and loves that she asks about Johanna every day, which really speaks for her because she's incredibly self-centred. Logically, Blaine knows that they'd be a good fit, a fabulous one even, they share the same taste in music and are both work-driven.
The only problem is, that Blaine has the terrible feeling that there's someone else for him.
He's set to work on floor A today with Roz while the others work on B, which is totally fine by him. He doesn't have a problem with Roz and worked just fine with her on the shifts they shared before, which might be because she usually ignores him entirely. He almost misses Rachel's slightly disappointed look when their boss divides them up though, because all he can focus on this morning are tall guys' slim fingers and the tickling sensation in his belly when their glances cross for a split second.
Blaine had a great time this morning with Mr. Wooden in room 3.43. He's his absolute favourite inhabitant, he's shy and slightly bitchy at the same time and hated by his colleagues, a point that he doesn't get because Blaine himself is so fond of him that it could be dangerous in the future. Santana once told him not to get attached to anyone here, as you never know how long they might be here and then you'll be heartbroken when they pass. But he can't help himself. The man is 91 years old, thin and wrinkly and sweet. Yes, he smells heavily of urine and rips out his catheter at least once a day and makes a mess, he usually misses the toilet because he's too slow to make it out of his wheelchair in time and others have to clean up his poop, but Blaine honest to God doesn't mind. He also doesn't mind that he throws up every evening and ruins his bedclothes, how could he when Mr. Wooden's quiet voice asks him not to be mad at him? No. Blaine became great friends with Mr. Wooden and he will always be the first to volunteer and get him ready in the morning.
Now it's barely 8 when Roz lets herself inside Mrs. Kossak's room across from Mr. Wooden where he's just putting lotion on her back. "Blaine? You have to work a bit faster. Breakfast starts soon and I'm getting sore feet out there from doing everything by myself!"
Blaine glances at the upside-down nurse-watch Rachel had given him last week and looks confused. "But we're right on time? I mean the self-walkers are all done and I only have Angie left."
"It took you one and a half hours to finish Mr. Letham and Mrs. Broniszewski, that's not acceptable," Roz counters and Blaine only stares.
"Uhm, I don't mean to sound rude, but that's not true. I got the 6 people we agreed on doing in that time done, not just the two you just said," Blaine's voice starts to shake slightly. What was she talking about? Or did he really forget someone? He counts every room he's been to this morning and no, he didn't forget anyone. He even helped Roz with Mrs. Gebert.
"That ain't right, boy. I can't go running 'round like some crazy chic while you take your sweet time with everyone," she snaps, and Blaine feels dizzy. What was her deal? They were right on time, he had the same 6 people to get ready yesterday with Tina and they were slower then.
She leaves with a loud bang of the door and Mrs. Kossak jumps. "What was that lady talking about? I'm really sorry that I'm taking up so much of your time, I'll try to wash my face faster tomorrow," she says in her sweet, quiet voice and Blaine feels so guilty for giving her the impression that this was about her. Not to mention that he feels incredibly self-conscious and embarrassed that Roz just said that about him, especially when it's not even true.
"Nurse Roz has a bad day, I think. But don't worry Mrs. Kossak, you're doing wonderful and I don't expect you to do anything differently tomorrow, or the day after that. We'll go at your pace and that's totally fine."
The old lady smiles at him uncertainly and her face is so thin and wrinkly and worried that Blaine feels the urge to give her the whole world.
When he's done with Mrs. Kossak and carefully escorted her to the dining room, he passes Roz but she just throws him an angry glance. He decides to ignore it and goes inside Angie's room to wake her up. He gets to work and he's very proud of her for managing to remove her nightgown on her own this morning because normally, she needs a lot of help because of her painful osteoporosis, but she seems to have had a restful night of sleep.
"Good job, Angie! Look at that, I didn't even help you this time, that's fantastic!" Blaine beams at her and she looks so young when she smiles then, just like she was a little girl again and Blaine's heart swells. He thinks that maybe, after all, working here wasn't such a bad idea. Moments like this, even if it's just a smile, are so incredibly rewarding that Blaine feels like he doesn't even know what to do with these positive experiences.
Angie holds her cold hand out for Blaine, and he can't not take it and squeeze it carefully. "Thank you, Mr. Blaine Anderson. No one is ever patient with me, they all think I'm l-lazy. But I'm not, I'm in pain every day and every night, but they don't understand that, only, only y-you do."
Blaine swallows the lump in his throat and hovers down to her eye level where she sits on the portable toilet chair in her room. "I don't think you're lazy, hon. I know what it's like to be in pain, so I understand that you're not as fast as others might be. And even if you don't manage to do things like that very often because you just can't do it, I won't be angry with you, or disappointed. Okay?"
Maybe it's because of her Down's Syndrome, but he has a very strong connection to her, and this itching need to protect her. Maybe it's because he's a dad and knows how helpless you sometimes feel in your own skin. Or maybe he's a better people person than he originally thought he was. Thinking back to the last three weeks, he hadn't gotten any negative feedback. Not from his boss or his colleagues, nor the inhabitants. They all praised him, even if he wasn't as quick in the beginning, told him he was hard-working, nice and empathic.
And sure, he doesn't want to speak so well about himself, but tall guy told him on his very first day that if he did a shit job, he'd let him know, and since that hadn't happened yet, maybe he really was that good.
"And I told you to just call me Blaine, okay dear? You make me feel so old and it sounds way too formal!" Blaine shares a big smile with her and pats her hand once more before standing up again and washing her upper body.
When he manages to heft her into her wheelchair with the scary-looking lift without any help for the very first time, Blaine feels like he could cry from pride and joy. He did it! He did the one thing he didn't dare to do yet out of fear he could either hurt her bones, not use it right and let her fall, or break the entire thing in the middle.
After Angie is brought to the dining room and he filled her cup with black coffee like he knows he loves it, he has to call Rachel on his work phone. He dials 384 and starts cleaning up Angie's room with one hand. Everyone is taken care of and served breakfast and Blaine feels like he could float, he's so happy and pleased with himself; a feeling that he barely knows anymore.
"WLP, Rachel speaking," Rachel says on the other line, and Blaine giggles.
"Haven't you checked my number before picking up?" Blaine asks but then decides that he doesn't really care about that. "Rach I did it! I used the lift for Angie and I didn't need any help today. I finally did it!"
He hears Rachel's squeak through the phone and she says, slightly out of breath, "That's so fantastic Blaine, like, so fantastic. I knew you could do it. I told you!"
Blaine smiles so hard that he's afraid the strings on his mask will tear off, but he doesn't even care.
"You're one of us now, Blaine. Not that you weren't before, but maybe you'll finally acknowledge that yourself now."
He feels like tearing up when she says that, mainly because a small part of himself wants that to be true, and starts to really do believe it. They share another few words and hang up and Blaine is almost done with the room. He has picked up his used laundry, tied Angie's personal laundry bag to take it to the laundry room downstairs, and flushes her blanket when Roz bursts into the room with a very angry look on her face.
"It took you this long to get Angie ready? I saw you when you went in here and it took you 15 minutes to dress her?" Roz once again snaps at him and Blaine feels small.
"15 minutes isn't so bad, though. She was the last on my list, and breakfast only just started out there. But guess what? Angie did really well today, she nearly managed to dress herself without any help. Oh, plus she had to pee, so that took a bit of extra time, you know she's a bit…hard to handle." 15 minutes isn't bad at all! They're allowed 30 minutes per person and he never once needed that long for anyone. And Angie is a big woman. Usually, the women on this ward ask for male assistance since they can't do it alone but Blaine did, so the 15 minutes were absolutely legitimate.
Roz slips her mask under her chin, something they're definitely not allowed to do in here, and crosses her arms angrily.
"Let me tell you something now, boy. We do not have this precious time to let these people try out what they can and cannot do. You wake her up, dress her and sit her in her wheelchair. This Angie woman only plays tricks on you, she tells you she has to pee every hour and when you put her on the toilet, she's already peed her pants because she's lazy and just let's go. That ain't okay and I expect you not to take her up on that. We're no hotel here, boy."
Blaine is at a loss for words. He can't understand how someone can be so cold and disrespectful towards other people, especially an old lady. Until now, Blaine never understood why Roz was so disliked by everyone, but he thinks that he gets it now.
"And also," she continues and Blaine feels his knees buckle when she comes to stand right in front of him and points her finger at him furiously. "You have to work faster. I watched you today, boy, you take your sweet time and don't care about your colleagues. I've been running around here all morning doing your tasks and that can't happen again. Imagine you have to run A on your own because someone calls in sick? What will you do then, huh? But that's typical. Figgins just lets everyone in, even those untrained, lazy people like yourself. How can you bring a kid to this world your age and be so indolent? People like yourself are no good for this place, with kids and no money and no real education."
Blaine's eyes well up and he looks down on the ground mortified. "You single parents always get the big privileges around here and that ain't fair to anyone. Especially not if they're as useless to us like you are. Look at you, it took you all of three weeks to figure out how to use this lift. I had to do that on my own on my first day. I bet you're real proud of yourself now, but that ain't worth anything, not at your speed."
And with that, Roz snaps the mask back on her face and storms out of the room.
The second the door closes behind her, Blaine runs into Angie's bathroom and chokes out a painful sob. He can't even feel his body right now, he feels like she punched him right in the guts, which would have been a better option than throwing those words at him. He's humiliated, ashamed, hurt and shocked.
The tears that escape Blaine's eyes soak his mask fast and the fabric feels sticky, warm and disgusting against his cheeks. How could she say all of that? The job-related stuff was painful enough, because for a second there he really thought he had a chance of actually being someone, at least inside these walls. The stuff about his kid and his role as a father? That just hurt. It ached and was tearing his heart right out of his body.
What was it with everyone in this world, that everyone had this terrible urge to let him know how much he sucked? How worthless he was? That he couldn't do anything right?
Blaine was a grown man, a man with small amounts of pride left inside of him, but this was the last straw to take even that away as well. He was self-conscious as it was, he doubted his every step and he hated his stupid life and himself so much, and now people started to realise that here as well, and not just at home.
He had no idea what to do now. When he dared to look at himself in the mirror, he wished he hadn't because his eyes were red, his mask was soaked through and stuck to his skin, his hair was messed up from where he grabbed it in anger and frustration and his voice sounded broken and hoarse.
He couldn't just leave, that wouldn't be fair to his other colleagues, but he wished he could just escape.
Staying in here was no option because soon people would come looking for him and then they'd see some 23-year-old cry baby. So, against his inner voice telling him to either stay in Angie's bathroom or flee, he stood up straight, took a deep breath, wiped his eyes dry, and made his way to the duty room to get himself a new mask. He just hoped no one would cross him for a while, so he could calm his faltering breath down and give his eyes a chance to return to their normal color again.
Blaine's gaze is turned to the floor the entire walk to the duty room and continues to stare down even as he fiddles with his magnet key and opens the door.
The box with masks for the employees stands on the table right next to the door, so Blaine doesn't even think about looking elsewhere. The quicker he has a new mask and disposed his soggy one, the better.
It's just his luck that the second he removes the mask he's wearing as quickly as possible due to their hygiene standards, that someone coughs politely a few feet away.
Blaine's head snaps up and his eyes grow huge, and the two masks in his hands are completely forgotten.
Tall guy stands there, relatively hidden behind the doors of the medicine cabinet. Of course he would be here, he's always here. Why didn't Blaine think of that before bursting in here, crying like some teenage girl?!
Neither of them moves for a good long moment. Tall guy has a pack of pills in one hand while the other grips the cabinet door tightly, and his blue, wide eyes never leave Blaine's.
Of all the moments for his boss to see him with a bare face for the first time, it had to be this exact moment, of course. His nose is all snotty from his pathetic sobbing, his eyes still feel wet and swollen and he probably spots a 5 o'clock shadow from always being so Goddamn stressed out.
Blaine's lower lip quivers and he tries to stifle another sob trying to escape his throat. He's so humiliated, and there's nothing he can do about it but stand there and let it happen.
Blaine would expect to be made fun of, for tall guy to throw one of his slightly sarcastic jokes at him that are actually his way of showing he cares, call him a cry baby, maybe, but neither of that happens. Instead, he slowly puts the pack of pills inside the cabinet, closes the doors, and walks over to Blaine with a calm face.
"Come on," he says quietly and gently touches Blaine's shoulder to turn him around. Blaine is frozen and can't get a word out, or even a nod. So, he turns and steps outside into the hallway, where thankfully no one is in sight right now.
Kurt closes the door behind them, and then the hand is back but this time on his lower back. It's barely there, just a graze, but Blaine's skin tickles under his ugly shirt while he's being led to the prayer room. He opens the door and waits for Blaine to step inside.
Blaine would have imagined finding the inside of this room to have a church-like style and vibe, but it looks rather sterile, with a small table in the middle, a couple of chairs in one corner, and thick curtains covering the windows. The only thing that reminds Blaine of a church is the big cross on one wall, but that's about it.
He remembers Mercedes' words from before, that no one had died yet since they moved here, and Blaine feels slightly better about being inside this room in the first place.
"Why don't we sit down for a moment, okay?" Tall guy's gentle voice says behind him and when Blaine turns around, he finds Kurt by the chairs, pulling two out and placing them by the small table.
"But," Blaine starts and curses his voice for sounding so shredded. He tries again. "But what about med-prepping, I don't want you to-" But before he can finish his sentence, he's being stopped.
"If you think I care about that right now, I think you don't know me that well yet," tall guy says and when he starts to peel off his own mask, Blaine sees a sad, empathic smile on his face.
"Come now, sit with me," tall guy gestures him over with a nod of his head and Blaine sighs reluctantly and does just that. As soon as he sits, he notices how close they both are and he doesn't know where to put his hands.
Thankfully, Kurt doesn't comment on his stiff composure, even if Blaine's sure he notices.
"What's going on?" His boss asks, his tone soft and gentle. Blaine gulps and stares down at his lap and starts to fiddle with the masks in his hands.
"I…I don't want to be a snitch. I'm fine, really-" Blaine lies, but is being stopped once again.
"No, you're not. Remember what I told you on your first day? To immediately come to me if something bothers you?"
Blaine feels his eyes well up again and he wishes he had a tissue or even a stupid napkin.
"Blaine. Look at me, please," tall guy says, and Blaine can't ignore him. Not when he uses that gentle voice on him.
When Blaine lifts his gaze and looks at him, all he sees is concern in his eyes and that's enough for Blaine's tears to fall. He knows how stupid he looks while crying and he's so ashamed to do it in front of his boss right now that he can barely take it. He's ached for so long now that he feels his insides tearing apart.
Kurt allows him a moment to collect himself before once more asking him what happened, so Blaine tells him, but feels terrible at the same time.
He repeats what Roz told him regarding basic care, how she asked him to basically ignore one's needs and more or less treat this job like a clock-ticking production line. He tells him about how he finally managed to use the lift on his own and how proud he felt, how Angie told him how nice he is, and all the while, tall guy has a small smile on his face, like he was proud of Blaine himself. But then he gets to the part where Roz busted into first Mrs. Kossak's and then Angie's room and he feels like suffocating while he tries to repeat what Roz had said to him. It just stings too much and Blaine has to stop several times and collect himself in order to tell the full story.
Kurt listens carefully and not once interrupts Blaine. He sometimes nods, pinches his eyes, but never says anything until Blaine is done with his speech, and when he's done, he slumps back against his chair and tries to discreetly wipe at his nose with the back of his hand.
The room is completely quiet for a long while, but then tall guy's voice breaks the heavy silence. "First of all, thank you for telling me all this. That must have taken a lot of courage, because I do know you a bit and I know how incredibly selfless you are towards your colleagues, so telling me this while fully knowing this could well and good fire Roz's butt was very brave."
As soon as he says that, Blaine feels the color drain from his face and he sits up straight in his chair with begging hands. "Oh God, that wasn't my intention at all, please don't –"
"Relax, I won't. I could, but I won't," tall guy says with a small smile and shakes his head. "See, that's what I mean. You'd rather get this shit thrown at you, pardon my language, instead of telling someone! Anyway, I won't fire her, but I do have to talk to her, especially since it doesn't only involve you, but our inhabitants as well. This isn't the first time she pulled something like that and I can't have that here. It goes against everything I stand for. I won't even tell her that you came to me, which oddly enough you didn't, but still. I'll be discreet, but I have to do it."
Blaine sighs and buries his face in his hands. "I guess…if you really have to."
"I really do have to, yeah."
Blaine winces slightly and sniffles. "I'm really sorry, though, for being so slow and for always asking stuff and not trying harder to be good enough."
Tall guy snorts frustrated and Blaine looks up just in time to see Kurt rub at his eyes. Under different circumstances, Blaine could appreciate the way his muscles work in his arms while he does that, but right now he's too upset to do that.
"Urgh, that's exactly why I don't want things like that to happen and go unnoticed. This is ridiculous!" Tall guy says and sounds kind of angry, which has Blaine on edge in about two seconds flat. Kurt growls one more time before removing his fingers from his eyes. Then he looks at Blaine with such a look that Blaine's heart wants to stop.
"It's ridiculous because you're one of the hardest working people in this God-forsaken place, Blaine. You've been nothing but polite and friendly, ambitioned and diligent from second one and then some stranger comes and throws these terrible words at you that not only accuse you of doing a terrible job here, but also with your private life, with your kid and that is unacceptable," he shakes his head frustrated and continues, but this time with slightly less wrath in his voice.
"People can't just go around and pick at the weak and shy ones. And I don't mean weak in the sense of being incapable of doing a job like this, but more like letting others put you down again and again. I can't and I won't stand for it."
With that, it's quiet again and Blaine allows himself to breathe again. "I felt like today was my best day so far, I don't understand why she'd be so mad at me. …I was really proud of myself this morning, Kurt," Blaine admits in a small voice and has to look down again when he feels his cheeks flush warm.
"And you can be. I've been watching you every day I've been here, that's my job and so far I'm totally satisfied with your work, impressed even," tall guy assures him ever so softly.
Blaine allows himself to look up with a fast-beating heart at hearing his boss praise him in such a way. "You really think so?"
That earns him one of the most honest smiles he's ever seen and a nod of tall guy's head. "I told you. You're capable of this, even quicker than I thought you'd be. You're doing wonderful for only having been here for three weeks. Trust me, I've been in the business for many years and seen a lot of question-worthy stuff, but your capabilities aren't in any way comparable to that."
The blush on Blaine's face only grows, but he's so baffled by those words that he can't even look away. So instead, he allows himself a smile, even if it's small. "I don't know what to say. Just…thank you."
"My pleasure."
After a moment of silence where they just look at one another, Blaine remembers something; the reason why he came into the duty room in the first place and tall guy had to see him in this state.
"I'm sorry you have to see me like that. That's not my proudest moment. And sorry for pulling off my mask earlier, I know that's not allowed in there," Blaine says quietly and nods his head in the approximate direction of the duty room.
"You don't have to apologize for either. We're all tested on a regular basis here...not to mention human. Okay?" Kurt says and quickly slaps himself on his own thighs twice before standing up and turning to look at Blaine, who immediately stands up as well. Jeez, he's so tall!
"You wanna stay here for a moment? You don't have to go out there right now, the girls will be taking their break right now, anyway."
"Uhm, no that's fine. But thanks for the offer," Blaine says and feels at a loss for words when tall guy lets his eyes wander up and down Blaine's face for a second that truly feels a lot longer.
Tall guy nods slightly and slowly puts his mask on one ear. "Fine, then. Remember to come find me if you have a problem again, alright?"
Blaine nods himself and puts his clean mask on with a disgusting-sounding sniffle. "I uh, I should go blow my nose first, or something. Maybe." Right, because tall guy needs a detailed image of that in his head. Whatever, Blaine's upset and not able to focus with the way his boss looks at him.
"You know," Kurt starts just as Blaine thought he'd finally walk out the door he already opened, but he doesn't, not yet. "I wondered what you might look like without a mask on."
Blaine's stomach bottoms out. "Well, you must be very disappointed right now, then," he means it as a joke, even whacks out a stupid, stuttery sort of laugh, but tall guy doesn't join in.
Instead, he pulls the right corner of his mouth up a tiny bit and into an almost-smirk, and then sucks in his bottom lip and nudges his chin up slightly while his eyes never leave Blaine's. "Not the word I'd use."
Was he flirting with Blaine right now? Is that what was happening? This was the most surreal way this conversation could have turned into, but it was happening right in front of Blaine's eyes. Literally.
Blaine stares, and stares some more and then jumps when tall guy's work phone rings. "I should get that," he says and Blaine nods dumbly.
With one last glance, Kurt turns and leaves the room and Blaine releases a tight breath when he hears tall guy's perfect business-like voice as he answers the phone with his trademark sentence:
"St. Paloma Retirement Home New Haven, Connecticut. WLP Kurt Hummel speaking, how may I help you?"
Blaine knows he has to blow his nose, but what the hell just happened? He has to find a way to stop himself from falling for this guy before it's too late. This was bad, really, really bad.
After his shift ends and Roz thankfully ignored him like she usually does, Blaine walks home slowly. He's not sure if he should let his mum know about the Roz incident. On one side, he craves nothing more than motherly comfort right now, but on the other side, he's scared as shit that it'll only give her a reason to rub in what she already knew about him, because some of Roz' words echoed his mum's, or family's in general, pretty much exactly. In the end, he decides not to talk about it, after all. He can't take much more today.
When he does get home after his 15-minute walk that ordinarily takes 5 minutes, he's swept off his feet when his mum meets him in the hallway with red eyes and hugs him without warning. Not that Blaine needs to be warned about something like that.
He's confused, but his body is so starved of any contact that he curls his arms around her as soon as she so much as touches him with her fingertips.
"I miss you, Blaine, how things used to be," is what his mum says in a teary voice and Blaine sags against her helplessly.
"Oh mum, I miss you too, so insanely much. All of it."
The hug is short-lived and ends a bit stiffly, but his mum caresses his cheek and gives him a sad smile afterward. "I think we all need a big vacation, huh?"
Blaine laughs wetly and wipes his tears away. God, he is a cry baby.
"I think we do."
The rest of the evening is nice, calm. He goes for his usual walk with Johanna and makes a shortcut to the store to buy a couple of things, bathes her when he gets home and allows her some screen-time with Elmo's Sing-Along Songs. He's way too emotionally confused after this weird day to care enough.
Bedtime takes a bit longer than usual this evening, but he's not as frustrated about that as he usually is.
When he's in his own bed roughly two hours after he put Joe down, he pulls out his phone from under the pillow and opens Whatsapp.
From Blaine; 10:34 PM
rachel? would you like to go out with me sometime?
Blaine presses the send button and immediately regrets it. He doesn't want to go out with her. It would only lead her on, but he'd been wrecking his brain for a solution after the weird flirting thing tall guy threw at him earlier.
It isn't only that he's a guy, but he's also his boss and at least 10 years older than him. And what if it wasn't a flirt? What if he was just being nice and overly sharing his thoughts? Maybe tall guy wasn't even gay, to begin with. Oh God, he'd never even considered that!
This was all so messed up that Blaine wanted to rip his hair out.
Before he can beat himself up further, his phone beeps and he nearly chokes when he read her answer.
From Rachel; 10:49 PM
you know i'd love to. but what about kurt?