"Should we wait for her?" Shinji was staring at the tray of sandwiches he had made, not trying to hide how hungry he was. "Oh, erm, she'll probably be in there for a while. Go ahead and eat."
He nodded, grabbing a quarter piece and sitting back down. "So what's wrong with her, Misato? If she's sick, why did she come over?" "She's not sick. She's just…" She didn't know how to express to Shinji that Ritsuko had suffered a nervous breakdown.
"Overworked." Trying to be polite, he didn't prod further. "Oh, I see." Misato was unconvinced that the boy understood, but so long as he didn't give Ritsuko a hard time, he didn't really need to know what was going on.
Regardless, the presence of the scientist made the air of her apartment tense. "I'm gonna go find something for her to put on." She left the room, leaving Shinji alone again. The majority of her clothes still weren't unpacked, but luckily enough, she was able to find clean sweatpants and a loose-fitting shirt.
It's like college, but the other way around. Misato recalled having to stay the night with Ritsuko after a fight with a boyfriend. In fact, she had a few times. But she was still nervous about returning the favor.
Clutching the outfit she picked out, the captain ran through her memories again. One evening in particular, she had run out on Kaji after he forgot a trivial anniversary, and went to Ritsuko's place. It was rather fun, at first.
They drank, talked their hearts out, and even manicured each other's nails. She didn't remember who, but someone had put on a record, and they had begun to dance. Nothing too fancy; they were both tired, and intoxicated, but they still moved together to the rhythm.
Inexplicably, both their inhibitions seemed to slip as they were caught up in the music. Just as it peaked, they leaned into each other, and kissed. As Misato recalled it was her who initiated it. Ritsuko didn't pull away, though. They stayed there for a few seconds, savoring each other.
And as the climax of the song faded, their intimacy did as well. She remembered pushing off from her friend, before wiping her lips and frantically apologizing. The next bit was a blur, but sufficed to say, she returned to Kaji's place.
It took a while for their friendship to recover after that. Ritsuko didn't resent her, or anything. They were both drunk when it had happened. But they never spent the night together again. The doctor actually invited her over a few times after that, but she declined, too afraid to risk her latent attraction manifesting itself.
Which was why Misato wasn't particularly enthusiastic about Ritsuko sleeping over. She'd accommodate her friend when she needed help, but she decided to take it easy on her drinks to ensure she was sober enough that nothing happened.
When the water turned off, she left her room, clothes in hand. She knocked on the bathroom door. "Hey, Ritsuko?" "Yes?" "There's some clean clothes for you outside. "Thank you." She dropped the two items right by where the door would open.
Judging by Ritsuko's tone, she wasn't too anxious anymore. The shower had helped her feel better. But she was far from a good mood. She's probably feeling guilty about having come home with me.
Misato sat on the couch with Shinji. He had moved the sandwich platter over to the coffee table, and had already had his fill. She took a piece then. The tuna salad was exceptional. "Mmm, these are really good, Shinji." "The secret is a tiny bit of ketchup."
She nodded, pretending as if she'd remember that. They both heard the bathroom door open and close quickly. A few minutes after, Ritsuko came out into the living room, wearing the clothes she was left. They actually fit pretty well.
Her expression was cold. Without being asked, Shinji left to his room, grabbing one more sandwich quarter to snack on. He was mature enough to tell when his presence wasn't wanted. Misato whispered a silent thanks to him as he left.
The blonde spoke first. "I'm so sorry, Misato…" "No. Mm-mm. Don't apologize. It's not your fault." The look of guilt on Ritsuko's face was tremendous despite what she said. She must feel like such a burden. How do I handle this?
Grabbing the big plate, she extended them to her friend. "Hungry?" "No. I… Misato…" "Why do you keep saying my name? I'm not mad. You just had a bad day! It's nothing to…" She trailed off, realizing Ritsuko had begun crying.
Very quietly. She was trying to hold it in. Misato switched to the other part of the couch, moving to console her friend. "Hey, hey, what is it? What's wrong?" She spoke through sobs. "I lied to you! On Saturday! Something's… me and Gendo…"
Hugging her, she did the best she could to calm her down. "It's okay. Don't rush yourself." Ritsuko choked and sniffled a little longer, before speaking again. "If I tell you, you have to promise…" "Rits, I'd never say a word to anyone. You know me."
She nodded, wiping her nose and face with the sleeve of her shirt. "Gendo and I have been… hooking up." What? Is she kidding? "R-really?" "Yeah…" "For how long?" "Ever since I started at NERV. Even a little before that…"
"Wow… You've never said anything about that to me." She choked again. "It's cause… I'm supposed to keep it a secret. That's what he told me." "Oh, I see." "But I can't do it anymore. He makes me sick… I hate him! I just can't…"
"Rits…" "I don't know what to do! He drives me crazy. I can't leave. I can't break up with him. And the sex is just… it's work! He even started calling me on the weekends. I just want to be left alone…"
She put her face into her hands, before letting out a long whine, forming herself into a ball. "Oh, darling, I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine…" Misato didn't know what to do, so she stroked Ritsuko's hair backwards as she continued to hold her.
It took her a few minutes to sit up normally again. Her face was red and strained from crying as they made eye contact. "Now you know why I've been so fucked up." "I'm so sorry. I never would of intruded like that on the weekend if I knew what was going on. I… How do you… That man is as cold as the moon!"
"Yes, he is. And just as featureless." Misato grabbed her friend's hand. "Look, I don't know how, but we're gonna get you out of this. I promise you. If you don't want to see him, you're not going to."
For the first time that night, she smiled, very slightly. "That's sweet of you." "Nope. It's righteous. I'll have a chat with him." "And what're you gonna say? 'Hey, Ikari, can you leave Rits alone? She finds you repulsive.'" Despite the subject matter, they both began to relax a little, finding humor in it.
"I-I dunno. We're gonna do something, okay? He's not going to keep having his way with you. Not while I know about it." "What about tonight?" Misato smiled at her, running over to the fridge, and returning with two cans. "Tonight, we forget."
She once again reflected on their drunken kiss as Ritsuko took a beer from her hand. But such a small event almost a decade ago seemed irrelevant given what she had told her. Them wanting to get plastered took priority. "Oh my, this beer tastes…" "Hey. Don't complain. It does the job."
"You feel better, don't you?" "I feel like shit." "But you're talkative now. Were you anxious about telling me?" She nodded. "I thought you'd be… angry." "Why?" "I don't know. I just… Assumed you'd think less of me."
"I'm your friend! It's obvious he's using you. I'd never blame you for that, Rits." "T-thank you." They sat silently for a bit, both enjoying their drinks, Misato more so than Ritsuko. "Hey, about your mom…"
"I didn't hallucinate her, or anything." "Oh, okay." "I was reprogramming the Magi. I used 'what am I?' as a question to test its abstract logic. And it…" "Said you were a whore?" "Something like that. I probably did imagine that part, though."
She let out a long sigh. "Don't worry. We'll take care of this. You're not alone anymore." Ritsuko smiled. The phrase touched her heart. "Well, since I'm here, I want the full experience." "Huh?" "Put on one of your corny movies. Oh, and tell Shinji to come out, too."
After getting sufficiently drunk, the two women were able to enjoy themselves despite the looming topic of Gendo on both their minds. Ritsuko was even able to eat a healthy amount, and she thanked Shinji profusely for making dinner.
They had all watched a movie together. It was about ten o'clock when Shinji decided to go to bed. He nodded a respectful goodbye and slipped away to his bedroom, mentioning to the doctor he was glad to see her feeling better.
"He's a really nice kid." "Mhm." "Hard to believe he's Gendo's son." Misato shook her head. "I don't like that." "What?" "You calling him Gendo. He's too impersonal to have a first name."
"Believe it or not, he prefers I say commander." "Oh, God, you're kidding me…" They both laughed, and Ritsuko finished off her fourth can of the night. "Hey? Is it small?" She took a deep breath. "It's fucking ridiculous."
"Hm…." She turned, and they made eye contact again. "I forgot how much I missed getting drunk with you, Rits." "I missed this too." There was a brief pause. "So, how do you wanna finish this night off? We have two options."
She raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "What do you mean?" "We can go to sleep now, and have a chance of waking up in time for work tomorrow, or…" Misato reached behind the couch, before snaking out a small bottle of vodka.
"We can do this." "Misato…" "Yeah?" "Tomorrow is Tuesday." "I know… Alright, we'll save this then." "That's not what I mean." "Huh?" "We're second shift on Tuesday, remember?" Her eyes lit up. "Wait, we are, aren't we!"
Ritsuko clapped as she placed the bottle on the table, twisting off the cap. "Why do you keep this hidden, anyway?" "If I pass out, I'm okay with Shinji have a few sips of a beer. But I don't want him on hard stuff." She laughed. "What a great foster mother you are." "Shut it."
Misato stood up, wobbling a little. "Let me, uh, find some shot glasses." "Don't be so prissy. Come on!" She watched as Ritsuko picked up the bottle, taking a swig directly from it. She quickly pulled it away, wincing and blinking rapidly as she swallowed.
"My god, Rits! What the hell?" She stuck her tongue out. "Oh, fuck, never mind. Shot glasses are a good idea." The host searched through the kitchen as she listened to her friend smack her lips together, trying to lessen the strong taste.
Soon enough, they were properly throwing their heads back every few minutes, laughing and getting wasted. Their mutual dislike of Gendo Ikari made for excellent drunk banter, and it did wonders taking the edge off of Ritsuko's anxiety.
It wasn't long before they drained the bottle between the two of them. Misato handed her the last shot, getting a question in return. "Why did we stop doing this, anyway?" "Huh?" "Hanging out at home. Drinking together."
"I kissed you, dummy." The blonde stopped for a moment, quickly dispatching of her shot. "Oh?" "Don't tell me you forgot." "I thought I kissed you?" Wait, did she? Because of how intoxicated she was, Misato's memories had fogged over.
"Weird. I thought it was the other way around." "If you kissed me, why did you stop?" She blushed. "Huh? What do you mean?" "I remember being into it. If you kissed me like you said, then why'd you leave so early?"
"Rits, what the hell…" "Come on. It's a legitimate question." A bead of sweat formed on her forehead. "I… I dunno! I just… thought it was weird." "Like, I was weird to kiss?" "No, I mean like, kissing a girl was weird. I guess. Can we talk about something else?"
"Well, if it makes you so nervous…" "I'm not nervous! I just don't… Look, I was with Kaji at the time. And I was drunk. It was a dumb thing to do. I left because I regretted it." "Oh."
She seemed disappointed. "I don't mean I regretted you. Just, kissing someone else when I was in a relationship was a dumb thing to do." Ritsuko waved her hand. "Yes, yes, I get it, Misato." Though she spoke like she was unbothered, her tone was less energetic than before.
"Don't be upset! I'm just an idiot. If I wasn't with Kaji, maybe I would've stayed longer." Hoping that would satisfy her, Misato reached for her beer. As she leaned back, her friend was only a few inches away from her.
"Rits?" As soon as she spoke, Ritsuko put her lips on her. "Mmph!" They kissed for a second, before Misato pulled back. "W-what the hell are you doing?" Her friend looked at her, wearing the slightest smile. "Just living."
"Living?!" She leaned in again. "You're not with anyone now, right?" "No! But that doesn't mean…" Her complaint was stopped by a finger being put up to her lips. "Hey… We're both drunk, Misato."
"What…" "Why don't you kiss me? It's just like last time. Find out how long it lasts." "I-I can't…" "Stop talking, and kiss me. Or don't. But don't think about it. Do what you want. Just live for a minute."
Time seemed to slow down. Ritsuko was staring at her, her eyes conveying aggressive interest. What the hell's gotten into her? Sure, they were wasted, but drunk as she was, she could still feel this intensity in the way the other woman spoke.
Just live for a minute. The words floated around her head. Misato had thought about the kiss for a long time. What would have happened if she let it continue all those years ago? What would have happened if she spent the night?
A wave of déjà vu washed over her then. This is was the exact same scenario. She had an opportunity to kiss Ritsuko. Only this time, she didn't have to worry about Kaji. If she didn't kiss her back, then she'd spend another ten years thinking about it. But if she did…
She stopped pondering it then, and just leaned forward, going right for her lips. They met, and she dropped her half empty beer, rolling her hands up to hold Ritsuko's face. Oh my god, she tastes like candy…
They paused for only a moment to look at each other, before Misato went back in. It might've just been the booze in her system, but she knew she had made the right decision. Instinctually, she laid on her back, letting the other woman climb on top of her as they began to make out.