CHAPTER FIVE : Tris
Today , the letter was in bright blue, one of my favourite colours. I inhaled and opened the letter. As always it started with,
Dear Trisy,
Hey! How is my child doing? Do you miss us because we miss you a lot? Oh wait! what's today? Today is the most special day. Every parent awaits this moment.. to see their kid grow. And how unfortunate it is that we are not able to be there to witness it. You have now grown as a person, as a smart and independent individual. You have turned 16 years old my kid, that's a huge deal. And even if I am not there, I am sure that you are kind towards people around you.
I remember when you were 5 years old, you were the most mischievous child in the whole family. You would not listen to anyone, and kept asking questions, random questions which didn't have a head or a tail to it. You would always see the Dauntless people jumping here and there, then tell us that 'when I grow up I will choose to go in the Dauntless.' When we were with you, you never looked like an Abnegation. And as far as I know, I know that you are still more or less the same! My girl, you don't need to show people who you are not. You know who you are? Now that you have grown up, I want to tell you something important. If I was alive, I would have sat with you in person and talked about it. Whatever I am going to tell you is important because the decision you take at the choosing ceremony decides your future, your entire life.
I don't know how to start but okay, so your mother who was the kindest person in the Abnegation wasn't an Abnegation born. She was a faction transfer, a Dauntless. She could never fit in at Dauntless and always wanted to help people in need. Do something for people by being selfless. And when she turned 16, she took this decision to join Abnegation. I am not influencing your decision in any way. I just want to tell you to dig deep and ask yourself what do you want? Where do you really belong? I don't want you to do things that your heart says no to. If I was alive today, I would have told you these things but through this letter I want you to understand things.
Tomorrow I don't want you to regret anything, or live where you don't really fit. Me and your mother love you a lot and will also stand by your decision. We want you to be happy and nothing else matters. We love you and we are proud of you, darling!
Always and forever….
With love,
Your parents.
I steadily closed the letter down and said, "I love you more, and I miss you." I wiped my tears that kept rolling down my cheeks as I steadily read each sentence. Then kissed the letter and kept it in the same wooden box. I watched the letter as I closed the doors of the cupboard with both my hands. My heart was filled with their words. I sat down on the chair and kept thinking about them. 'Where do you belong? I love my child. Your mother was a faction transfer….' The letter did actually say it all. It's just like when I write my heart out. I was disappointed that my Uncle did not tell me about my mom and dad, happy because my dad knew me so well even if he is not present, confused about what to do tomorrow, everything at the same time. I don't know what I should do, what to say? I closed my eyes and took a nap on the table beside the chair I was sitting on.
After some time, I got up. I slept for a long time, it was dark out. My face was swollen, I could feel it with my hands. I washed up before my Uncle returned back to ask me questions about my face. I didn't go to meet Tobias today, I called him to meet and go up the hills. Oh man! How could I do this?
I thought of telling Tobias about what my parents told me in the letter like I always do. However, then I remembered that if I do, he will surely want me to stay back with him. Which happened once, when I tried to tell him that I don't fit well in Abnegation. And it will hurt him if I choose something else.
I sat back and kept thinking about this, I am not selfish but I am not selfless either. I want to help people around me, who are in need, but that doesn't necessarily mean to be in a particular faction, any faction can help if they have the intention too. I want to do what my heart is saying but what if people hate me and talk behind my back about me and my parents, who don't deserve to be called 'Bad parents !'. I folded my hands together and prayed," Oh god please help me out!"