Day #5: Nightmares | Two-shot Part 1
Being Ladybug was great for her, saving the day, kicking some asses, being loved by the Parisians. But everything comes with a price, nightmares were hers.
They came in different shapes and colors, some were of her not being able to save Paris, being captured by Hawkmoth, Dying in a fight… Nonetheless, anything could compare to the feeling of those nightmares.
She knew when it happened that it would be something Marinette would ever forget. I mean, you don't see your partner get akumatized and kill all Paris every day, and on top of that the fact that it occurred because of her.
So things got worse from that point: Dreamings of them getting together only to get akumatized, Chat Blanc tearing her apart, her Chaton's voice calling her desperate for help —Asking for Marinette, not Ladybug—, She saying something so horrible that would cause Chat to get hit by an Akuma… She couldn't deal with that anymore.
Her nightmares got worse and worse to the point when she even was scared to fall asleep. Therefore, she didn't sleep; or the least amount as possible.
She started being the first one to get in class in the mornings, to make all that it was possible so she could stay awake at night, drink tons of coffee and accept the eye bags as part of her look. But it wasn't something she couldn't maintain for the long term, at least not while also being Ladybug. Marinette knew it, her superhero and student performance were going down, however, she wasn't able to find any solution.
Was this some kind of PTSD or something like that? She couldn't tell, but even if it was there would be nothing the girl could do about it. What would Marinette even say to her parents? Mom, Dad, I think I have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder because I risk my life every day by being Ladybug and I saw my partner become a genocide?
A huff escaped from the hero's lips, where is she now? Just in her balcony wanting to spend her night with random thoughts and obviously not sleeping. Because the fact of not having insomnia doesn't give her enough energy to do something else without collapsing. At least Ladybug got Tikki's strength to keep her going; Marinette only had Marinette, and that wasn't much.
While looking at the stars, she waited for a miracle to come. Something to ease that ache in her chest, that would calm her fears and protect her so she could just once release the responsibility to someone else.
Because not even in her sleep she can't get out of the thought of being the one who harmed Chat to that point. She knew it was her fault, just by the way he looked at her; no, by the way he looked through her.
Her view got blurry, her muscles weakened, her heart felt like drowning; all by the feeling of guilt. She failed him, and Marinette couldn't deal with that. At some point in all of this, she noticed her kitty meant so much more to her, which made everything just more… Scaring.
"Princess..." Marinette lifted her head by the sound of the voice. Was that…
"Chaton?"