The Grinning Ninja

by Our hero

Naruto has eaten the Bara-Bara No Mi and become a spliting human arming himself with fuinjutsu tricks traps and about a million knives, he’s going to kick the chunin exams flashy face as the Star Clow-Nin,

5. Let-the-training-begin,

Let-the-training-begin!

Fan corner _

let's begin

Naruto groaned as he opened his eyes he looked around finding himself in the sewer again, in the distance he could hear the woman auguring with herself he stood up and followed the sound mostly cause he had nothing better to do,

"He almost died," the nervous side said,

"Yes and we both tried to save him," the angry side stated "and who actually saved him?, a crazed crippled girl,"

"I'm just saying that If you would let him use your chakra he might not be in danger anymore, and we wouldn't be in danger either,"

"and If you let him use you pussy then he he might call you mommy again instead of those two nine feet tall women, and Kushina how would my power have saved him when one of your relatives is apparently hunting him?,"

"Ku-,"

"If he hears that name I'll tear his ears off,"

"Kyubii please we were friends once," Naruto stopped hiding against the wall, "You remember it don't you?, when you convinced me to chase the fourth?, you told me I was just as pretty as Mikoto-chan and that I deserved happiness as well, back on the front lines saving our not mine Our comrades, you told me that together we could beat anyone, remember Naruto Isn't just my son, he's yours as well, you saved him and Though Minato wanted Jiraya as the godfather who did I choose as godmother?,"

"You made a mistake, I hate that little bastard,"

"What did you tell me after he first met us?, you said and I quote 'We share a body you dim bitch, I can feel how attracted you are to him,' And I can feel how you do about him as well, the worry for his safety, the anger at those who mistreated him, the sorrow you felt when he cried himself to sleep, he is our son, and your right I am attracted to him, but we aren't two people anymore we are one, so maybe those feelings are yours, and maybe every motherly feeling you've had is mine, we need to help him, Kyu-chan please help me save our son,"

"I. . . I am not human," The deeper one said, "Your feelings are alien to me, and I'll admit once a long time ago now I fell for Mina-chan's charm, I convinced you to chase him, I. . . I loved him too, I felt as you did, I smiled when you said Naruto was our son, Mine, yours, and Minato's, I grinned when we showed our enemies why you never attacked our village, I was happy being a runner up for the fourth Hokage, I belonged," the Nine tails said, "But they never trusted us, never, we risked everything for them and they believed I just wanted their destruction, When that cloaked bastard ripped me out of you I hoped my home would listen to me, 'Help her' I screamed 'Kushi-chan is dying' I cried for the husband I never had, for the village that hated me, and they answered with anger and rage, while the man in the cloak healed you to prove a point, the people I had faith in attacked me, and the man I had come to love attacked me, feh you know the rest,"

"So what is the point Kushina?, they hated you, they hate me, they hate him, and the last thing I heard from the man I loved was that he loved someone else," Kyubii said bitterly, "How did that feel Kushina?, Knowing that every time your husband had sex with you he wished you were Mikoto, knowing that when he was late for dates, for training, for you, it was because the woman you considered your best friend had your husbands cock in her mouth, that we were something to be placated and used, not loved, not cared for, we were just their weapon," the Kyubii spat, "We thought Minato was stronger then us, that he had more charisma then us, no we never would be Hokage, They wouldn't let us, How does that feel Kushina?, That your dream was taken from you and all you got out of it was being fucked and used like a sex toy by a man who didn't even like you, A best friend who had no problem fucking your husband behind your back, a village you risked your life for that never even mentions you, and a son who doesn't even believe you're alive,"

The voices were silent and Naruto loudly stomped his feet,

"he's coming," Kushina whispered,

Naruto rounded the corner seeing the massive cage and the naked woman inside, This time no chains held her showing her gorgeous naked form to him he saw her hands had red fur leading from the elbows to her claws, her legs were the same fur from the knees to her clawed feet, "whoa trying exhibitionism?, it looks nice, much better then the bdsm thing you were going for last time,"

"Your mother wanted to talk to you outside of this place and I wanted to not be chained to the floor, so we came to an agreement," The Kyubii said, she raised a furry red hand to him showing the palm of it had a paw pad, "help me stand,"

Naruto despite what had happened before slid in between the bars again and walked into the massive cell his footsteps echoed as he walked over to the lone woman, he grasped her hand and pulled her up into a standing position,

She cracked her neck and behind her began flowing nine fluffy red fox tails, "Ah," she moaned stretching "It feels so good to stand," she said smirking as Naruto's attention seemed to be on her body, "Mmmm, Naruto where are you looking?," she teased seeing his eyes were currently locked onto her,

"Sorry," he said blushing "I just didn't think you'd be so..." he blushed harder shutting his mouth,

"So what?," she asked, "So furry?, so sexy?," she drawled,

Naruto came to his senses shaking his head, "No," he said pushing her away,

"No?," she asked baring her sharp teeth, she blinked "No, you're right forgive me, I thought that since you knew how your father treated me you might feel bad for me," she stated,

"You knew?," he asked, she gave a stiff nod two tuffs on her head twitched,

"these ears don't miss anything," she said,

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to eavesdrop I just wanted to know more about you both," he said,

"It's fine," she said sadly, "Now you know the truth, the village used your mother and me like weapons and your father didn't care about your mother at all, he just wanted to was to placate her want for a family," she sniffed, "I'm sorry, I just thought since you knew you might want to help me with the aches and pains,"

"It hurts that much?," he asked

She nodded sadly, "Every second of every day, and It gets worse as time passes, nothing to satisfy my urges, it's like blue balls magnified by years," she reached down rubbing her slit, "yeah just as I suspected," she said lifting her fingers hands to her face, "My own fingers can't satisfy me," 'HOLY SHIT I DIDN'T ACTUALLY FEEL ANYTHING,' she screamed internally 'Kushina did you?,'

'not a thing, why is that?,'

'let's find out,' She looked at Naruto, "Full disclosure I was going to tell you I couldn't pleasure myself when I could to get you to fuck me, But I actually didn't feel anything, You know seals is this possible?," she asked,

"Wait you were lying?," He asked,

"FUCK NO," she roared, "I'M SO FUCKING HORNY I'M IN CONSTANT FUCKING AGONY," she took a breath, "But I need to know why I can't pleasure myself, so please look at the seal," she pleaded,

"alright calm your tits," He said walking out the bars, he looked at the seal on them, "hold up, this ain't right," he said, "that isn't the reaper death seal," he said,

"what's wrong sweetie?," Kushina asked walking over to the bars being careful not to touch them,

"I've done research into the seal on my stomach, and examining it I found out that the seal I have on my stomach Is the reaper death seal, but the seal on your cage doesn't match what's on my stomach," he said "I've seen this seal before but I'm not sure where,"

"what's it for?," Kyubii asked, "Is it the reason I can't feel anything?,"

Naruto nodded, "It's altering your brain signals that receive pleasure,"

"SO I'M STUCK IN AGONY FOREVER?!," Kyubii roared,

Naruto looked pensive, "N-not exactly," he stated,

"Right you can fix it can't you?," The Kyubii said grabbing the bars, electric coursed through her "GAAAAAAAAAHHH," she let go of the bars,

"It's not that, it only-," he stopped

"Only what?, only what?," she asked

"It only cancels out the pleasure you receive from touching yourself, any pleasure from anyone else pleasing you would be amplified by four, and the pleasure you get from pleasing others is amplified by six," he said,

Her eyes went wide, "six times?," she asked, "okay then come in here and let me give you a blowjob," she said,

Naruto raised his hands "Listen I get it, you're horny, alone, and in pain-,"

"Exactly and that all stops after I get some relief so come here and let mommy suck you off," She said,

"I can't" he said, "you know about Haku I can't betray her like that," he said,

"Betray her?," The Kyubii asked her entire body shaking with rage, "so you're just going to let me suffer because of some stupid idea that a girl who died loving you wouldn't want you to be happy?," she asked,

"It isn't about that," he said, "I still love her, so how could I throw that in her face?," he asked,

"Oh please," Kyubii said, "Let's not pretend you're talking to Kakashi, I LIVE IN YOUR HEAD!, I KNOW EVERY THOUGHT THAT GOES THROUGH IT," she roared, "this isn't about Haku, it's about you failing to save her,"

"stop," he demanded

"You promised her and her father that the leaf would accept them, that You'd get them there and they could live happily,"

"Stop," he said gritting his teeth,

"And then they died, because your teacher deceived you and you believed she was your last shot at happiness so after-"

"I SAID SHUT UP!," Naruto roared,

"OH WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO TO ME THAT'S WORSE THEN WHAT I HAVE?," she roared, "I FAILED TO SAVE MY BEST FREIND FAILED TO SAVE MY HOME MY ENTIRE BODY ACHES AND THE ONLY PERSON WHO CAN HELP ME WON'T,"

"oh whatever," she said her anger fading, "Do whatever I can't force you," she said sitting down, "but what about them?," she asked, "I just want relief from pain what about the ones that actually care for you?,"

"This isn't about them," he said

The Kyubii chuckled "how long until it is?, Yakumo knows you came all the way here to save her, she turned you into a toy and hid you inside her pussy, she's literally waiting for you to wake up to give you a blowjob, what about Hinata who's loved you since you first met, or Ino who's had a crush on you since you saved her, or Anko who you saved from her slave collar or Gaara who you brought back from the brink of sanity, are you going to live your entire life forsaking the feelings of those who love you?, never letting them get close to you?, are you going to dump Yakumo onto one of them when you get back before running away,"

"What am I supposed to do?," He asked, "People are after me because my father sealed you inside of me, If I get close to anyone it'll put them in danger,"

"Stop that," she said, "You know that by being ninja their lives are in constant mortal danger, what if Ino's team went for a mission while you were in here and by the time you get back she's dead,"

"that won't happen," Naruto stated,

Kyubii smirked "This is the fate of a ninja," she looked faux pensive "Who said that again?,"

"Haku did," he said,

Naruto nodded, "You're right, I'm pushing everyone away because I think they'll be in danger but just with our career path we already decided that, so how long have we got in here?," he asked,

"A night,"

"then put me through it," he said, "you can do that can't you, see my memories," the Kyubii nodded, "Then put me through it again, the three months I spent in wave,"

"That won't help you," she said, "reliving the pain that defines who you are would only help if you forgot it," she said, "What you're going through is called stupidity,"

Naruto groaned, "well this give me time to examine that seal," he sail walking back over to it, 'Hmm, ah no wonder it looks familiar, it's similar to an evil containment seal, but with certain properties from the reaper death seal, and- no it can't be," Naruto focused on his seal notes, memories rushed through him, he said, Anko appeared before him, he tilted her head to look at her seal "And yet it is," he stated comparing the two seals, "some of this is adapted from Anko's curse seal," he said as she faded away and he focused back on the seal "that's not it, though this seal has ben highly modified beyond that,"

"those elements are the base for this seal so I'll call that The Cursed Fox Containment seal," he said making a piece of paper with those three seal mixed into one appear next to the seal It resembled the seal, "Yep just like I figured, but why modify three seals into one seal you were going to modify again?, it'd just be easier to make a brand new seal,"

"Woah that sounds complicated," Kushina groaned,

"it is, by the way we have a massive problem," Naruto said,

"really how bad could it be?," the Kyubii asked

"The reason you can't pleasure yourselves, sorry all three of us can't pleasure ourselves is cause this seal has a slave collar mixed into it's base functionality, one that's frighteningly similar to the one Neji had,"

"Can anyone force us to do anything?," The Kyubii asked

"Fortunately no it lacks that function,"

"for a second you had me worried there,"

"oh you still should be, who ever knows the seals could restrict each others chakra from us,"

"Meaning whoever made the seal knew they'd have to fight us," Kushina said

"They want a fight?, Good, Kushina start teaching the kid how to use chakra chains, Naruto when you wake up ask Jiraya about the Rasengan, summoning, anything he's got, and we'll go from there, this guy wants a fight, let's give him a war." The Kyubii said

Kushina nodded, "Right,"

Naruto entered the cell again, "Uh chakra chains?, what are those?,"

Suddenly an Image of Kuze appeared, he ripped open his coat and pulled a chain out of his side and attached a hook to it, he swung it around and threw it before freezing in place, "This is our distant relative Kuze Uzumaki, wielding with deadly precision the Uzumaki clans own Kekkei Genkai Adamantine chains, sorry the guy who discovered them sucked at naming things," she said, "The chains have similar characteristics as the Senju clan's Wood style, such as repressing tailed beast chakra and being excellent for tying things up," Kushina said making chains grow out of her forearm, "Though Kuze attaches a hook to his as his method of attack, the chains can be used for armour," Chains grew out of her body before wrapping around her from head to toe, "Weapons," they retracted except for one that grew out of her hand, which she held like a bat and wacked Kuze's hook back at him, It hit him in the face and he fell over,

"Anything you can really think of, even changing the size of the chains themselves," Kushina said, the chain in her arm disappeared,

"Cool," Naruto stated, "wait Kuze's related to us?," Naruto asked looking at the literal fallen Uzumaki, "Huh, well nothing you can do I guess, so how do I make these chains?,"

Kushina smiled, "First take a breath,"

Naruto sucked in a breath,

"Good, now shut your eyes,"

Naruto closed his eyes, "Now, envision within the darkness a line,"

a line cut through the blackness,

"it's not a big line, its a small thin one,"

the line thinned out

"it's very ridged so it doesn't move a lot,"

the line stayed still

"nothing exists but the line,"

Naruto nodded,

"feeling calm?," she asked,

"Yes,"

"good, now open your eyes,"

Naruto did as she asked, Kushina had moved so her breasts were an inch away from his face,

"Why are you-,"

"Shhhh," she said, "Now gather chakra in your hand," he did as she asked, "good sweetie, now close your eyes again," Naruto nodded,

"Now while Gathering chakra into both of your hands I want you to breathe in and out, and as you do to feel how that makes your body feel," Naruto nodded, he could feel his lungs expanding and contracting, his heart beating, he could feel the chakra flowing through his entire body,

"feel the chakra, how when you take a breath it pulses?," he nodded, "good, now while you're doing that, imagine a bunny,"

A bunny appeared in the darkness,

"shape the chakra, mould the chakra, the bunny is small with a little twitch to it's foot,"

the bunny looked at him with wide eyes, "has it seen you?," he nodded, "then catch the bunny," Naruto almost took a step, "Something wrong sweetie?," Kushina purred into his ear, "you need to catch the bunny,"

Naruto took a breath, 'how can I when your breasts ar-,'

He remembered Anko saying something,

Flashback

"Ruto-chan listen, you see my sweater puppies?," she asked opening her coat

Naruto quickly turned away "gah why wou-" Anko grinned kicking Naruto in the face knocking him down,

"Remember a woman's tits are her most powerful weapons," Anko said smirking, "to closet pervs like you it diverts attention away, To honest pervs it draws attention to the chest, Now we are going to fight topless until you can look me in the eye,"

Flashback over,

'Right,' he thought without losing focus on the bunny, his breathing, and feeling and moulding his chakra, 'I'll get that bunny,'

Then he reached forward, in his minds eye he grabbed the bunny,

In his mindscape it was a soft pair of tits,

"Oh my Naruto," Kushina moaned "So forceful,"

"What?," Naruto said opening his eyes,

standing in front of him was Kushina her tits were held tightly between his fingers, Naruto let go making Kushina frown, "aww, I wanted more," she moped,

"Don't we need to train?," he asked,

"Oh right," she said, "Well how's that calm feeling?," she asked,

"Obliterated by the feeling of soft supple breasts," he admitted, "can you tell me what this is all about?,"

"Sure, forging chakra chains is a four step process first you must tap into a special type of chakra that only manifests when a person feels calm," Kushina said, "second you train to endure all other feelings that could distract from feeling calm, third you must shape the chakra into the chain form, and finally you mould the chakra into a solid tangible object," she said, "watch," she shut her eyes and took a breath, "feel calm," she said making a light blue chakra run though her, "mould it," it shifted into chain form, "tangible," she said turning the chakra into steel, "after that comes wielding it," it wrapped it around her arm,

"Isn't that five steps?," he asked,

she shook her head, "No you see technically what I said was the second step is part of the first step, and I forgot step four," she said,

"There," she said licking her paw, "now that that's done, you need to give shape to the chakra,"

Naruto nodded "right," he said, the light blue chakra enveloped his body, he clasped his hands together in the snake sign, and over the period of about an hour he stood there tying to make a single chain take form,

slowly as time passed the chain did take form,

Naruto tried three more times, succeeding faster each time, getting his time to shape the chakra down to twenty minuets, before he woke up,

As Naruto opened his eyes the light blinded him, "Flash," he groaned waiting for his eyes to adjust, when they finally did he saw Yakumo had slumped over him asleep,

"Yakumo?," he asked lightly shaking her, he didn't want to wake her but figured he probably shouldn't just leave her alone,

"Mmmm?," Yakumo turned rubbing her eyes, "Huh?, Naruto!," she cheered, "Yay, your awake," she said, Sarah popped up beside her "Man you've been out for the entire night,"

"Yeah I know," he said wrapping her up in a hug, "Thanks for saving me," He said,

Yakumo blushed, "Well you came all this way to save me, so I-,"

Naruto put a finger on her lips, "I haven't saved you yet, let's go find Tsunade so she can help you," the two girls nodded and placing Yakumo back into her wheelchair that Jiraya found while Naruto was unconscious, Naruto wheeled her into the bar downstairs,

As he came down He saw Jiraya, Tsunade, and some black haired lady sitting at a table,

He wheeled Yakumo over to them, "morning," he said sitting next to Jiraya,

"Morning brats," Tsunade said downing a sake cup,

"Morning Uzumaki-san, Yakumo-san," The black haired woman said, "I'm Shizune, I'm sort of Lady Tsunade's traveling companion," she said,

"Charmed," Naruto said shaking her hand, 'I always wanted to say that,' he thought, "Morning and thank you Lady Tsunade," he said lightly bowing, "for saving me, and agreeing to help Yakumo,"

Tsunade waved her hand, "Oh please, It's what old friends are for, besides I am still a doctor, can't exactly not help people,"

"Still thank you," he said, "uh Jiraya So, both the fox and my mum are in my head," he said making Jiraya and Tsunade choke on their drinks,

"WHAT?!," they both cried,

"That's not the weird part, the seal on my chest Isn't real, The reaper death seal isn't what's used to contain the fox, but part of the real seal allows whoever put it on me to turn off any chakra that isn't my own, so I need to learn the Rasengan,"

Jiraya nodded, "Right okay," he blinked "what?,"

"We think whoever put this seal on me might come back for a fight later on, so The Kyubii suggested I learn Chakra chains and something called the Rasengan," Naruto said,

"I'm sorry your mum- Kushina is inside your head?," he asked

'tell him I said if he doesn't teach you the Rasengan I'll tell you his secret fetish,' Naruto rolled his eyes, "Mum said If you don't teach me the Rasengan she'll tell me your secret fetish,"

Jiraya laughed nervously as he covered Naruto's mouth "Of course I'll teach you the Rasengan, well to be honest I was already going to teach you that," Jiraya said, unsealing three balloons from a scroll, "but we can do that in a bit, Mind helping me first?," he asked

"with what,?,"

"He wants me to be hokage," Tsunade said,

"Okay, Why?," Naruto asked, "especially when you've got the future Hokage right here," he said pointing at himself,

Tsuande chuckled, "Really?, you want to be Hokage?,"

"Let's see, the Hokage are often said to be the strongest and wisest Ninja there are," He grinned "Ya see It's perfect I'm already the greatest Genin, oh make that Chunin in the leaf,"

"As great as you are, there's a certain amount of experience needed to be Hokage," Jiraya said,

"yeah well I'm probably ready anyway," then Naruto realised something "Wait her but not you?," he asked, "Aren't you the legendary Jiraya?,"

"Can't accept the job, Someone needs to maintain my spy network," he said, "Not that I want it anyway,"

"I don't either," Tsunade said, "I'm done being a leaf ninja,"

"Great," Naruto said, "in that case I'll just-,"

"It'll probably be a clan head before it's you," Tsunade said,

Naruto grumbled, then his grin returned, "I-"

"One that has at least shown up to one meeting," Jiraya said,

"Flashin rules," Naruto grumbled, "Wait so you don't want it, and she doesn't want it, and I ain't getting it yet who becomes Hokage if not one of you?,"

"Danzo," Jiraya said,

"Huh the old mummy guy?, Nice guy but isn't he a little under the power needed to be Hokage?," Naruto asked,

Jiraya shrugged, "It's either him or that copy guy,"

Naruto snorted, "That's dumb, he can't even take care of his own team, Honestly I'd be a better fit for it, and that's not just the arrogance this time,"

"well you do you brat, I'm not becoming Hokage," Tsunade said,

"Come on Tsunade, you're the last of the Senju, they'd be fools not to make you hokage,"

"No," She said, but little did Tsunade know Jiraya's trap had been set,

"wait you're the last Senju?," Naruto asked, "like Hasirama and Tobirama Senju?," he asked, not noticing Jiraya's smirk

"Grandfather and granduncle respectively," she said, Jiraya covered Shizune's mouth as she realised what was going to happen,

"Can you use wood styl-"

Tsunade threw Naruto out the room, "SCREW YOU BRAT!," she shouted running after him,

"What just happened?," Yakumo asked,

"Tsunade never learned how to use wood style, and anyone that mentions it to her gets pummelled," Jiraya said,

"Oh," Yakumo said, then she made a sword and put it's handle in her mouth, "Excuth meee," she said wheeling herself after them,

Naruto was planted into the ground with just his legs sticking out,

Tsunade grabbed a leg and pulled him out, "Thanks for that," he said exploding into smoke,

Naruto flew from behind her grabbing and lifting her up, "Gotcha,"

Tsunade got a vein oh her head as Naruto had unintentionally grabbed her breast, "DIE PERVERT," she said breaking his grip, and grabbing his leg as she fell throwing him far below her, She reared a leg up, "Heavens kick of pain," And she brought her leg down increasing her falling speed,

Naruto summoned a shadow clone that nodded and flew up to intercept her, it grabbed her other leg and threw her away, she landed kicking and smashing right through a tree which then fell down toward both Naruto's, "Kai," the clone said dispelling itself,

"Traitor!," Naruto cried running away from the fallen tree,

Naruto somehow out ran it to a clearing, he took a breath "wait," he said grabbing a lock of his hair, "SINCE WHEN WAS MY HAIR RED?," He asked, 'And how the hell did I not notice that until now?,'

"You seriously just realised that?," Tsunade asked,

"Back off man," Naruto said, "also BWAAAaahhh!, why are you so mad dude?,"

"Don't play dumb with me, you mentioned that- thing I can't do," she said, "and grabbed my breast,"

Naruto took up a hand sign that had two fingers crossing other each other (which I'm pretty sure was used in the anime but It doesn't appear in any hand sign compilation pictures so I'm just gonna call it the star hand sign) "Don't get cocky, if you don't back down now, then it's act 2,"

"Brat I'm gonna drop you so hard you need a year to heal," Tsunade said,

Naruto grinned holding the star hand sign, "Fine here it comes," Naruto said his arms, head, and feet, popped off his body, then smoke filled the arena, Naruto quickly added iron shoes, hands and an oversized metal mascot head, "transformation jutsu" he said, turning his body and the added parts into his gender swapped form,

then chibi Naruto donned a gundam helmet and ran and hid in the bushes,

Tsunade raised her eyebrow at Naruko, "Act two is just you as a girl?," she asked cracking her knuckles, "I'll still hit you as hard regardless of how you look,"

"Nah I just felt like female me pulled off the outfit better then male me does," Naruko 'said' (It's actually Naruto talking though a seal in the mascot heads mouth,)

"Oh and what outfit is that?," Tsunade asked,

Naruko's eyes began glowing light blue "This one," she said activating another transformation jutsu making her skin look like it was turning to steel, she quickly threw off her clothes and used a genjutsu as she left herself nude making orange light beams cover her naughty bits, she smiled spinning around light and the beams followed her movements covering her,

she split her body making everything but her ankles that were attached to the robot feet hover then her arms, legs, stomach, all split vertically before the splits attached to themselves, making Naruko taller and skinnier, her chest, hands, waist, feet, and head stayed the same as they reconnected to the body, then she activated hidden seals on her making the orange beams dye red and then with a movement on her hands she patted her the top of her head making robotic fox ears appear before she moved her hands down her face making a robotic fox nose jaw guard appear,

then moving her hands down her body a metal breast plate appeared, then as they passed her hips they made a red metal skirt that had a fluffy fox tail at the back of it, then she jumped and flipped Metal boots and gauntlet appeared on her feet and hands as she did before landing on her feet, she lifted a leg and made a V with her fingers winking at Tsunade,

"Designation: Act two: Battle-girl Victory Fox Online." She stated her robotic voice filter activated, then she spun around again unsealing a yellow trident that had a maul on the bottom from her back, "Spear of Gungnir, authorised," she span the trident taking another pose this time an explosion materialised behind her,

Tsunade just crossed her arms "Binge reading Gundam?," she asked, "also Battle-girl?,"

Victory Fox nodded, "Sort of, and Battle-girl just in case battle suit was copy righted,"

Tsunade shrugged, "Listen kid, you might think your robot waifu persona can take me, It can't so why don't you just-,"

"Opening discovered," Victory Fox said disappearing,

"Oh rea-," Then Victory Fox appeared in front of Tsunade swinging the Spear of Gungnir's hammer side into Tsunade's chin knocking her into the air,

"UNITE FIST," Victory fox said Unsealing special red clones from her gauntlet that with a thought from Naruto's helmet instantly formed into a giant fist,

Victory Fox crouched before disappearing again, this time she appeared above Tsunade, "Brace yourself," she warned making Tsunade raise a hand in defence, "Ora!." Victory Fox cried punching Tsunade with the Giant hand knocking her down to earth,

"Ow," Tsunade said hitting the ground,

"Yeah that's why I warned you," Victory Fox snarked as she landed, the clones that hadn't poofed when they hit Tsunade were resealed inside her gauntlet,

Tsunade popped out of the ground lightly brushing dust off her coat, "Okay nice move, you're a lot faster too,"

"No really?, Who'd you expect Heavy Man?," Victory Fox stated, " I am Act Two: Battle-Girl Victory Fox, Speed and Defence are optimised,"

Tsunade clapped, "Ohh speed and defence?, not often you see that," She said raising her fist, "Mind If I see how defensive?,"

Victory Fox appeared in front of her, "Take your best shot," She goaded,

"Not too smart are you?," Tsunade asked cocking her fist back and hitting Victory Fox with one of her trademark punches, knocking the robot girl through a ton of trees, "Ha see you later Bratty fox,"

Victory Fox lay in a mud slide dug by her body after Tsunade punched her, "Flashin hell that worked?," She asked, "Seems my chakra armour concept wasn't total shit, though that still hurt like hell," she stood up and started jogging on the spot, "nothing seems broken," she said looking at her hand, "that's one idea tested, now let's check the Impact seal," she said vanishing,

Victory Fox appeared behind Tsunade as she turned, "Foxy Puuuuuuuuuuunch!," she cried hitting Tsunade in the stomach sending her miles back, Victory Fox fist pumped, "Yes!," then pain shot through her arm "Also flaaaaaaash," she groaned in pain, 'shit, feels like my arm's in a vice, and someone's been twisting the vice for about an hour, Guess I can't handle these Impact seals, or Tsunade's strength,'

Then a tree sailed through the air at her,

She jumped at it splitting herself down the middle as it was about to hit her before landing on it and after separating her robot hands of her body they both held one end of the up rooted tree and span it in mid air, faster and faster until it resembled a wooden disk, Victory fox jumped off of It, before throwing it at Tsunade, "Wood Style: Durian Discus," she said,

Tsunade clapped her hands as the tree came at her "Impressive attack," She said, before leaning back and headbutting the tree in half, "Needs a better name though, why after the Durian fruit?,"

"Durian isn't just a fruit, Look it up," Victory Fox defended, before disappearing to grab the dropped Spear of Gungnir,

"Okay how did you take that first punch?," Tsunade asked,

"Sealed inside my armour are at most over six thousand special clones that are constantly charging their chakra, powering certain seals on the armour which increases the armours defence, which when all sets of it are worn by me also increases my defence," Victory Fox fox-plained(because regular explaining wasn't foxy enough I guess),

"and when somebody else wears it?,"

"No effect, needs two point zero zero of my chakra to activate clone drain power source,"

"Amazing, going to share it with the world?,"

"The world can bite my fluffy red tail," Victory Fox said pointing to her backside,

Tsunade snorted "Well that knocked the anger out of me, what now?," She asked

"Not sure," Victory Fox said before resealing her weapon and armour before transforming back, during the poofs chibi Naruto ran over holding his clothes, he threw his clothes in the air and resealed the now unneeded parts, and as the smoke faded his body returned to normal, he held out his hand and caught his clothes, Naruto grinned taking a bow as Tsunade clapped,

"So uh why don't you want to be Hokage?," he asked pulling up his trousers

"I've lost many loved ones to the line of duty, my boyfriend, my brother, and now my teacher," she said, "how long until I lose someone else, so I left and never thought about it again,"

"Yet you're not happy,"

"Feh happiness I gave up chasing that a long time ago," she said looking around, "now I'm just content to be here,"

"Why don't you come back as acting fifth Hokage?," he asked, "see if you like it?,"

"Nice try kid, being Hokage for me is like learning wood style, it'll never happen,"

Naruto raised his fist to her "make a bet with me," he said,

"Huh why?,"

"I think you can do it," He said, "Learn wood style,"

"How?, no one alive could teach me,"

"My ex was an Ice Jutsu user she taught me how she used that, Ice is water and air and wood is water and earth, how different could it be?," he asked,

Tsunade mouth hung open, then she smiled, which turned into a chuckle, "Fine," she laughed "what's the bet?,"

"Try to learn wood style, and if you can get one technique down before I can master the Rasengan, I'll convince Jiraya to be Hokage, But if I master the Rasengan first then you have to come back with us and be the fifth Hokage,"

"Sure," Tsunade said, "by the way Jiraya's a perv so maybe that'll help,"

"Ha like I'll need it Hokage-dono," he said slightly bowing,

the two walked back to town where they found Shizune distracting Yakumo with A pig,

"where did it go?," Asked Yakumo,

*Snort* said ton-ton eloquently from on top of Yakumo's head

"Shere it is again," said Sarah, "It's got to be around here somewhere," Nodded Yakumo shaking Ton-ton in front of her eyes,

"Do I even need to know?," Asked Tsunade,

"Well Yakumo was going to stab you for throwing Naruto out of the room but then we challenged her to find Ton Ton and it seems to keep her quiet," Shizune said,

"I am going to find that pig," Yakumo said, "and when I do it's belly will not escape my snuggles," She said darkly,

"Well whatever we've come to an agreement," Tsunade said gesturing between herself and Naruto, "If I can learn one wood style technique before Naruto can master the Rasengan then he'll stop pestering me about becoming Hokage,"

"If the opposite happens I win," Naruto said, "Now though to be fair, I want to wait for a few days while Yakumo heals,"

"Speaking of which let's get the girl inside so I can take a look at her," Tsunade said Taking ton ton off Yakumo's head,

"Huh my massive headache is gone," Yakumo said, everyone stared at her for a moment,

"Inside now," Tsunade ordered,

they took her back to Naruto's room where the redhead convinced her to strip, and after twenty minuets explaining that he meant in a non sexual way, a pouting and naked Yakumo was being held up by Naruto's floating hands,

"I have good news and bad news," Tsunade said,

"Bad news first," Naruto said,

"Well that's kinda awkward but okay, It'll take years," Tsunade said, "The good news is I can help her,"

"Well at least you can help her," Jiraya said, having grown kinda attached to the little ball of insanity in the one or two conversations he had with her,

"Yes but I'll need things," she wrote down a list, "Shizune take Jiraya and fetch everything on this list, kid you're footing the bill,"

Naruto nodded "any price,"

"Check the bill," she said handing him the estimate,

"HORRY SHIIII-," Naruto quickly shut his mouth, "I mean, sure why not," he reached down to the right side of his knife belt to a hidden seal and unsealed four wallets stuffed full of cash, he juggled them for a second before tossing them to Jiraya, "That should cover ya," he said,

"You don't have to do that you know, I'm sure I would be fine," Yakumo said,

"Not if you want to walk," Tsunade stated,

"W-walk?," Yakumo asked looking down at her legs, "Like on my own two feet?,"

"Yes," she said, "You're talking to the best medic ninja in the entire shinobi nation trust me in a year maybe two you'll be able to skip through the Village,"

"Two years?," Yakumo asked "and you really don't want anything from me?," She asked Naruto,

"A smile would be nice," he said, Yakumo brought her lips upward, it was a small but nice smile, "See, debt repaid," He patted her on the head,

Tsunade ran chakra through her hands and pressed them against Yakumo, "brrr, cold hands," Yakumo joked,

"Just some routine checks making sure I didn't miss anything the first time, while I'm doing this Naruto why don't you tell me a story?,"

"about what?,"

"Let's start with this ex of yours,"

"Haku?," Naruto asked, "well she was an assassin by trade, her and her father figure were on the run from Mizu, they ran into us on a mission where she knocked me out and kidnapped me for a while, then my bastard do nothing teacher killed her, her favourite flowers were lilacs her favourite colour was yellow, anything else?,"

"I just meant how she did her Ice jutsu," Tsunade said, "fuck and you want to go back?,"

"Sorry I'm touchy when it comes to Haku," he stated biting into his pointer finger channelling chakra into his teeth, he wrote the words proof of failure onto the seal on his hand, he pushed down the swords handle and reached inside pulling out Haku's mask as he did the handle popped back out, he erased the last letter of failure on his seal and the sword handle poofed,

He placed the mask on his face, "Hyoton," He said emulating Haku's voice and traits, "is the combination between water and air, he said, "The first time I used Ice style I felt the cold all around me," Naruto raised his arms, "It shifted around me asking for me to shape it, to give it form, Focusing my mind I drew it to one place and made a single leaf entirely out of Ice,"

"I don't feel that way around trees," Tsunade sighed, "So it's still just a pipe dream,"

"You might be surprised to know I lost my ability to make ice," Naruto said,

Tsunade raised her eyebrow, "Naruto?,"

"Before Zabuza-sama found me, I was tied to a pyre and nearly burned alive," Naruto stated, "But as the flames licked my heels I screamed out in terror and my will took form, the ice snuffed out the fire and froze everything that was about sixteen feet around me, including everyone around who tried to kill me, and my own mother," Naruto looked down, "After that no one tried harming me but seeing what had happened when I lost control fear over took me and I lost my Kekkie Genkai,"

"Naruto?," Yakumo asked as both her and Tsunade turned to the masked ninja, "are you okay,"

"Please no questions until after I might lose my train of thought," He said, "To relearn how to make Ice Zabuza-sama suggested I start by learning the two types of chakra natures that made up Hyoton, to get the feel for them to see if I could re spark my ice affinity, after I did that I noticed how chakra reacts to the natures, and I felt something something deep in my blood calling to me, telling me I can do more," Naruto took of the mask, "And that's all I remember she said," he said resealing the mask,

Tsunade breathed a sigh of relief, "for a second there I thought you thought you were Haku,"

Naruto shook his head, "Sorry, It's just easier to think about her when I'm wearing her mask," he said, "did any of that help?,"

Tsunade nodded, "Kinda, I do have an earth nature and I know a few earth jutsu, no water though,"

"What nature does Shizune have?," Naruto asked,

Tsunade shrugged finishing Yakumo's test, "She's a non combatant and never really had any interest in learning any non medical jutsu," she said, then her eyes turned wide, "But Kushina is in your head right?,"

Naruto nodded, "Yeah,"

"She has a water nature," Tsunade said, "can she talk through you?,"

"Maybe, girls?," he asked,

'You want me to try teaching a woman you have a bet with something that would help her and not you?,' Kushina asked,

Naruto eyes turned red and slitted, 'For the record, it is possible.' The Kyubii said, 'but you'll need to let us take over, and when I say us I mean us both.'

"Course mum why not," Naruto said, "And according to the Kyubii yes, but you'll get both of them,"

"Really, will she teach me?,"

'I'll teach her but my training is tough,' Kushina said,

"how tough?," Naruto asked,

Naruto could sense the dark smile Kushina had as she said, 'Ask Itachi,'

---

Miles away Itachi shivered, "Ye gods," he breathed dropping to a knee,

"Itachi-san?," Kuze said putting his arm on his temp partners shoulder, "You okay?,"

Itachi looked up his face was pale, "Sorry Kuze-san," he said standing up, "may we take a moment?," he asked sitting on the side of the road,

"Sure," Kuze said sitting next to him, he lifted Itachi's arm and laid it on his shoulder, "here lean on me,"

After a few minutes Itachi said "Sorry Kuze, for some reason I just remembered my Jonin sensei, and the training she put me through,"

"Must've been bad if it brought you to your knees," Kuze said,

Itachi took his arm off Kuze, leaning on the larger man legs, "Sorry Kuze, mind if we stay for a moment?," he asked,

"Hey take a nap, It looks like you need one," Kuze said,

"Thank you," Itachi said shutting his eyes and letting sleep take him,

---

Naruto sweat dropped "Huh you trained a guy who wants me dead?, and another is a relative of mine,"

'You think that's weird?, Gaara might be a relative of ours too,' Kushina said,

'Hopefully not too close of one,' he said,

'Really?, is it considered weird to be attracted to a relative?,' The Kyubii asked,

'Depends on who you ask,' Kushina said, 'It might be the mix of emotions but I think if Gaara pretended to be Naruto's sister I think that would be really hot,'

"Uh Naruto?," Tsunade asked, "will she train me?,"

"huh?, oh uh yeah, but the training will be tough,"

Tsunade smirked, "Good, I don't do easy training,"

"Wait how are we going to pull this off?," Naruto asked,

'We'll use shadow clones, Today you and Jiraya will train using the Rasengan, tomorrow I'll train Tsunade in Suiton, while your shadow clones train with Jiraya in the Rasengan, then after that Jiraya will help Tsunade with refining her earth style, while we work on the chains,'

Naruto nodded, 'wait why don't we see if I can create a shadow clone for you to posses?,'

"Yeah Kushina why don't we try shadow clones?," The Kyubii's tone was haughty,

'Ur well cause uh that won't work obviously,' Kushina's face was as red as her hair as she stuttered out her response,

"but how do you know that Kushina?,"

'You know how I know that!,'

'would either of you care to explain?,' Naruto asked,

"Sure, you see Kushina wanted to see if she could use shadow clones to let me out of my seal, so I'd be able to help her satisfy her sexually while The forth was away,"

'God never let me ask you guys anything again,' Naruto stated his face turning red as he tried not to imagine the hot fox lady in his brain fucking herself, Naruto shook his head as Jiraya and Shizune returned, Naruto composed himself as Tsunade attached an Iv drip to Yakumo's arm, Naruto nodded and told them the training schedule,

Tsunade nodded, "then we have about six weeks until Yakumo is well enough to travel back to the leaf, we should consider this our deadline for our bet," Tsunade stated,

Naruto nodded and with the deadline set all five of them went off to train, Jiraya, Naruto, and Yakumo, went to the clearing where Naruto fought the cloaked criminals, while Tsunade and Shizune went to where she and Naruto fought to train,

Naruto created a shadow clone to stand with Yakumo while he stood with an awkward looking Jiraya, "Well, I think it's time I filled my part of our bet," he said,

"Nah," Naruto said, "It doesn't really matter," having already discovered the truth from the Kyubii's rant, but now Naruto wanted to keep their relationship professional,

"What are you sure?," Jiraya asked,

"Yeah no need to complicate things, you knew my mum, maybe my dad, that's all I need to know,"

the words tore through Jiraya's heart, but he considered going with it, 'he's right in a sense, I'm the godfather that pretty much abandoned him, what right do I have to tell him now, after all these years?,' Jiraya thought,

"So lets get-," Jiraya placed his hands on Naruto's shoulders, "old man?,"

"The truth is Naruto, that I-, I trained your father you see?," he said,

"Oh that explains every-,"

"No cause, to me Minato was like a son, and when he had you he-,"

"Finish that sentence," Naruto said, "And I'll punch you,"

Jiraya nodded understanding in his eyes, "Y-you're my godson," he said,

Naruto true to his word swung his fist at the Toad sage hitting his cheek and knocking him over,

for a few seconds the two just looked at each other "Where the hell were you?," Naruto asked,

Jiraya shifted, "Tsunade and I had-," he searched for the right words "attempted to have a child once, when we found it was a girl we went thought for weeks until we could think of a name," he smiled sadly, "Fu was the name we decided on, Fu Senju, for the months leading up to her birth I was the happiest man alive," he said,

Tears came in the corners of his eyes "Stillborn," the word was choked out of Jiraya's throat, "that's what the doctors said," Jiraya laid back onto the ground, "those next few weeks I barely remember everything is a haze, Orochimaru left, and I was determined to stop him, I chased after him from village to village hunting him down as he went, eventually I found his pupil abandoned and unconscious and I took her to the leaf, and then I left again,"

Jiraya looked up at the sky "when I originally started traveling I realised that to me the Leaf wasn't as much my home as the open road was, Tsunade and Fu were the only reasons I stayed, and Tsunade left while I was chasing Orochimaru, I stayed with Minato for a little bit before heading off again, a few months later I heard your parents were gone, I came back but Hiruzen refused to let me take you, so for a while I did stay,"

Jiraya looked at Naruto, "Everyday I raised you I cried," he said, "Eventually I had an idea, how it would become home to me, and I sent a toad to find her, tell Tsunade that we could still be a family, we could raise Minato's son together," he smiled, "Then one day, I got a reply," Jiraya reached into his coat, pulling out an old worn letter, "It's over," he said, "stop fooling yourself, that's what the letter said, soon it seemed like everyone was trying to convince me to leave, but sensei wouldn't let me take you,"

Jiraya sat up, "One day, I just couldn't take it anymore, and I handed you back to Hiruzen and left, and that's my story, that's where I've been all these years, working to keep my mind off the child that died, and the one I abandoned," he looked up at Naruto "I'm scum, I abandoned my godson because whenever he smiled I saw my stillborn daughter, how've you not hit me more?,"

Naruto sat down, "Cause I get it, loss is a powerful thing," Jiraya gave Naruto a confused expression, "Her name was Haku, she came from the hidden mist, and due to a misunderstanding she knocked me unconscious and held me for about two months, over the time we got to know each other pretty well to the point where she even kissed me," Naruto leaned down, "I call myself Naruto the Star Uzumaki, cause she said I was her star, a bright spot in her dark dismal life, she used to take me out on little dates around the forest, it wasn't much but we were happy, then due to my naivety I got her killed," tears appeared in the corner of Naruto's eyes,

Naruto stood up, "Let's start over," he said holding a hand down to Jiraya, "I'm Naruto The Star Uzumaki, my dream is to become a human star, a symbol of hope to others, and to one day be Hokage," he grinned,

Jiraya took his hand, "I'm the gallant Toad sage Jiraya, I'm your godfather," he said as Naruto smiled,

"Really?, cool, so you knew my parents?," Naruto asked

"hell I even trained your father, oh speaking of Minato, you want to learn a Jutsu he created?,"

"Sure what is it?,"

"The Rasengan," Jiraya said making a spinning ball of pure chakra,

"So cool how do you do that?,"

Jiraya tossed him a water balloon, "there's three steps to it, the first is you have to rotate the water in that balloon with your chakra to pop it,"

Naruto nodded catching the water balloon "okay," he focused his chakra however because of his chakra chain training Naruto better understood how to manipulate chakra and it only took him about six minutes to pop the water balloon,

Jiraya grinned "Great job" he said tossing him a rubber ball, "Now try to pop this,"

"Okay," Naruto said, but unlike before he couldn't pop the ball though he did end up losing his fingers a few times, they eventually called it a day,

Naruto left the older people to hang out helping Yakumo brush her teeth before tucking her in to bed,

as she slept Naruto sat near her for comfort going through the bags Hinata had packed for them, Yakumo's had some of his T-shirts, boxers, and shorts, he set her out some that seemed nice, then he started to get his own out he reached his hand into his bag and felt some unfamiliar fabric "what this?," he pulled it out revealing a chunin jacket, on it was a note, "Sorry it took us so long to have one made, deepest apologies the council," he said,

Naruto stared at the jacket for a few moments before he turned and stared out the window, until he to faded off to sleep, the next day Naruto was woken up by Tsunade and after making a clone to follow Jiraya he followed her,

"Ready?," she asked standing in the clearing,

"Ready," he nodded, he shut his eyes and fell a pull on his conscious mind, then he opened them he looked down at his hands, they had become red furry paws, "huh?," he looked around He was inside his mindscape, In the combined body of the Kyubii and his mum,

"Oh I'm in here huh?," he said standing up, "That makes sense, since they're out there then I'm in here," he looked around the room was empty, there was nothing to do,

he felt loneliness creep into his mind, he shook his head, "Gah I ain't letting this distract me," he said channelling his chakra, he felt the Kyubii's chakra course through him, Naruto slapped his hands together, "Might as well focus on training my chains," he said,

-Outside-

Magenta slitted eyes opened, she groaned and stretched "Man I forgot how having a body feels," her voice had the distinct two tones,

"Yes," The Kyubii said just feeling the air, "Ahh that's a lovely breeze,"

Tsunade stared at her temporary teacher who looked down at their hands, "Hmm," Kushina pressed her hands into the ram sign, "Transformation jutsu," her body changed into the one Naruto now inhabited in the mindscape, she looked down at her paws, "That's better," she forced a big smile as her nine tails wafted around her playfully trying to soak in the sun,

Tsunade rubbed the back of her head, "Uh hi Kushina,"

"Heya Tsunade," Kushina said, "How've you been?,"

"Good?," Tsunade said,

"Great, Naruto has been doing good as well," The Kyubii said,

"Now now, Let's not get testy," Kushina said,

Kyubii huffed, "Please kushi-chan The nine tails wouldn't make a good godmother let's have Tsunade instead," The voice that said these words sounded exactly like Minato, but they were spat bitterly from the lips of the body Naruto, Kushina, and the Kyubii all shared, their combined body's hand paw began growing, "And what happens, we get sealed and who raises our child?," The Kyubii's enlarged claw tears right through a nearby tree, "Two pub owners, not his godmother, not his godfather, TWO PUB OWNERS,"

Tsunade watched as chains came out of Kushina's back though before they could do anything the large paw shrunk and the Kyubii ran it through her hair, "Whatever, just get your training done already,"

"It seems the Kyubii was correct, the seal purposely separates both me and The Kyubii mentally inside the seal, but one cannot be outside alone," Kushina said,

Tsunade shook her head, "Wait no that can't be right Yakumo said you took over before, so it should be possible for you to do it now,"

Kushina shook her head, "Not exactly," Kushina said, "we were both out together then as well, but Kuze's chains restricted Kur- I mean the Kyubii's ability to do much,"

"Okay Kushina, do you remember any of your water jutsu?,"

Kushina held out her paw a red Rasengan formed, "Yes I remember every part of both of my lives," the Rasengan dissipated and her eyes turned to Tsunade, she gave her a mad grin, "Your training begins now,"

Tsunade sweat dropped "about that shouldn't we find a stream or something?," in response Fracture ran through the dragon, tiger, and hare, handsigns

"Suiton: Mizurappa," Kushina said leaping into the air and pressing a cupped hand around her mouth before spiting out a jet of water that dug a large trench in the clearing and filled it with water, she landed on the water, then two water globs emerged from it shaping into clones of hers,

"Woah," Tsunade said, "that's amazing,"

Unsure of how to take the praise Kushina simply nodded, "Yes well first you'll begin with a simple technique Suiton: Tepodama," she used the tora seal and spat a large glob of water out,

Tsunade nodded, "Okay, uh what are the clones for?,"

"When you manage to achieve this technique the clones will spar with you to make sure you memorise how it feels to use a water jutsu," Kushina stated,

Tsunade nodded "Right," and used the tora sign,

-12 hours later-

Tsunade was breathing heavily sweat was rolling off her in waves, she'd got the jutsu down in about ten minuets but after she did Kushina began sparing with her and though Tsunade was confidant that she could handle water manipulation during combat, her body felt like she'd jumped off a cliff and rolled down the rest of the way,

Kushina smiled as she and the fox returned to the mindscape, when Naruto returned he had a grin on his face a mile wide he quickly dispelled his clone that Yakumo talked to and wheeled her away,

the four sat in a restaurant waiting for Jiraya and the other clone to join them,

"So how was training with Mum?," Naruto asked,

"Pretty good I learned my first water jutsu and got soaked a hundred times, how was whatever you did in your brain?,"

Naruto raised a hand to his ear his grin getting wider "What's that?, you want some chopsticks?," he asked, then Naruto pulled his arm back and a chain slowly took form out of his palm, "Adamantine fetching chain," he cried and the chain extended over to a cup holding chopsticks, the chain stopped and retracted into his palm, "I don't know how much force these have so I stopped it," Naruto said practically sweating bullets,

"Uh you're sweating a lot," Tsunade said putting a hand on his head as it touched his head green chakra flowed through it,

"Yeah, takes a lot of concentration," Naruto said flopping back in his chair, "It really ain't combat ready yet,"

Shizune shook her head, "That's wrong, if it takes too much concentration then the thing that isn't ready is you," she said, "You should spar with someone using the chains to help with your concentration, preferably someone who could make you worry,"

Yakumo sat straight in her chair raising her hand high, "Oh pick me Sensei I know the answer,"

Shizune pulled her hand down "You can't fight Yakumo your physicality is to weak right now," she said,

"Except that I don't fight with my hands-," she grinned, as another Naruto appeared behind her,

He patted her on the head "She fights with her mind," he jumped into the air and popped,

They turned back to Yakumo who was wearing full rugby gear, "Put me in coach," she lightly poked herself, "Huggh I can take it,"

Shizune looked like she was going to say no, but Naruto put a hand on her shoulder, "I've faced her before, she creative and deceptively hard to hit, she'll be fine,"

Shizune nodded, "Alright if you both insist then it should be fine,"

Yakumo pumped her fist, "Yisssssssss,"

Suddenly memories flooded into Naruto's brain, he tried really hard but there was no real change in his training, "Guh?, must be the clones memories," he said,

"Yeah sorry about that," Jiraya said, "As you now remember not much changed today,"

"Well I made chains so let's celebrate," he said,

"What's a celebrate?," Yakumo asked, "I bet it tastes like pickles," Sarah added,

"For us kids under the legal drinking age it means an early bed time," Naruto said,

"I knew it," Sarah stated nodding, "But wait don't you drink?," Yakumo asked,

"Do you want to go to bed alone?," he asked,

"No thanks," Yakumo said, "This time I want a story," she said as Naruto wheeled her away,

"Night brats," Tsunade called,

Naruto helped Yakumo brush her teeth and laid her to bed, "Okay you want a story huh?, anything you want it to be about?,"

Yakumo nodded, "Yeah I want to heeeeear a stoooooory about. . .," she gasped, "A Princess, and gobbling, and monsters," she said, "And Pretty hair," Sarah added,

Naruto chuckled "Okay this is the story about. . ., The Gobbling Princess," he said, "One day there was a princess named Teddy who had pretty hair-," Naruto said,

"What colour is her hair?," Yakumo asked,

"Er red?, yeah red,"

"Cool,"

"Ahem, anyway Teddy's hair was soo pretty that one day Queen- no King Pool the pool king said, 'Ah Princess Teddy's hair is so pretty, if only she weren't out of my league,' he said, then suddenly he got an idea, 'Go my neutral floatie knights and shave her bald, so that I can get her to come to my pool party,' demanded King Pool the pool king,"

"Really?, dat's so mean," Sarah said holding her own hair,

"Uh yeah but in actuality pool king the King Pool thought, 'Ha those fools are no match for Teddy, she'll beat them and come to me anyway, where I'll charm her with my sweet dance moves,',"

"How sweet were his moves?," Yakumo asked,

"If she saw them she'd be smitten," Naruto said, "Anyway, we come to Princess in the castle owned by her father King er Moustache who's stache was so amazing he could bench press his castle with it, and her mother Queen uh Freak!, Yes Queen Freak a notoriously odd lady who could reshape her very body into any shape,"

"Can King Moustache control his stache like Queen Freak does her body?," Yakumo asked,

Naruto thought about it, he imagined a ridiculously muscular King who walked using his moustache while his body posed, "Yes, he's also super buff and uses his moustache to walk,"

"Is Queen Freak buff too?,"

Naruto considered that, "If she wants to be then she is, and she rolls or bounces everywhere," he said, "Anyway they were all at the table eating when the neutral floaties busted in, 'we're here for Princess Teddy's super pretty hair,' A ducky said brandishing an electric shaver six billion, 'In the name of Ping Kool the kool ping,' and though they were pretty threatening with their rubber bodies and lack of locomotion Princess Teddy licked her lips,"

"'Mmm, looks tasty,' she said pouncing on them, 'Chow time,' she said gobbling the floaties whole, 'Mmm mm, good eating,' she said, her skin turning to the same plastic that made up the floaties body,"

"Suddenly School Zing the zing school kicked the door in, 'Aha' he said,"

"whoa I didn't expect that coming," Yakumo said,

"Ah but then he was pushed aside by the real villain of this story, King Pool the pool king,"

Yakumo gasped, Sarah crossed her paws "I dint see that one coming, mostly cause I thought you just screwed up da names," the scarred puppet said,

Naruto blushed, "I did," he coughed into his hand, "'Ahee,' King Pool the pool king stated defeating the other guy with his pool cue, he laughed, 'Ahaha, now Teddy will-,' He looked down Teddy had vanished, 'Oh no!,' he cried, 'she must be about to do some super attack from above,' he cowered,"

"King Moustache shook his head, 'Actually she just got distracted by a butterfly, as did her mother,' he said pointing to a field where Queen Freak chased a butterfly with her hand shaped like a hammer and her daughter chased after to stop her from smashing the butterfly, 'It'll take all year to get them both back inside,' King Moustache said,"

"'All year?, but who will come to my pool party then?,' asked King Pool the pool king,"

"'What do you mean old chap?, asked Queen Freak as she rolled into the room knocking both kings over like bowling pins, she leapt into the air and landed in her husbands arms, 'Anyone who is anyone attends a King Pool the pool king pool party, we come every year,' she said kissing her husband who fainted as soon as she did, 'Hehehe, lightweight,' she said drawing moustaches on his sleeping face,"

"'Oh yeah,' King Pool the pool king said, 'See you at seven then?,' he asked,"

"'See ya then Uncle Pool,' Teddy said eating a ton of monsters,"

"and then they all lived happily ever after, until the pool party happened and then it was even better then happily ever after, there were donuts, the end." Naruto looked at Yakumo who was sleeping soundly and he smiled, "Night buddy," he said kissing her forehead,

Naruto tucked himself into bed and fell asleep, he had a dream where he was a blue haired bumbling pirate captain with a crew of circus guys, not much changed actually,

.

..

...

"Good evening Uzumaki-chan," Naruto opened his eyes,

"Mmm?," he asked above him was somebody incredibly familiar, scars covered her body, her blonde hair was in isometric pigtails, and she had bunny features, "Sarah?," he asked half asleep,

She winked, "Don't worry dear this is just a dream you can ravish me to your hearts content and nobody will know,"

"Where's Mum and the Kyubii?," he asked,

"huh?," she smiled "they agreed to wait outside,"

"They don't appear in my dreams," he said,

"not in these kinda dreams,"

Naruto sat up, "Where's Yakumo?," he asked,

"Over here," Yakumo said hugging Ton-ton,

"How did you get Shizune's pig?," He asked,

"Well we went to Shizune's room to ask if we could borrow Ton-Ton but she was asleep and I just wanted to snuggle her pig," Yakumo said, "So we stole her," Sarah said, "I thought we agreed to use the term borrowing-without-getting-permission-or-giving-her-pig-back," Yakumo said, hugging Ton-Ton close,

Ton-Ton oinked nervously, Naruto sighed, "Yakumo you do have to give Ton-Ton back to Shizune," he said, "Like how would you feel if someone took Sarah or me from you?," he asked,

"Well one of those might happen when we get back to the village, the other-," A vague shadow appeared behind Yakumo, "Will not happen," she said, Naruto swore that for a second her eyes turned red,

"Well that's likely how Shizune feels about Ton-Ton," Naruto said trying not to sweat from her pressure,

Yakumo pouted, "But I love her," she whined,

Suddenly Naruto's door opened a drowsy Shizune wandered in "Nautro," she yawned "Have you seen Ton-Ton?, she's gotten out of our room," she looked around, Yakumo had a pigs nose and hid Ton-Ton in her shirt, Sarah straddled Naruto, who just looked annoyed, "...Oh there you are," she said picking Yakumo up, "Let's get you back to bed before Lady Tsunade wakes up,"

"Oink?," Yakumo said surprised Shizune could lift her,

"Hush now let's not bother Nautro and Yakumo," Shizune said shuffling back to her own room,

"N-Nautro?, Its Naruto," Naruto said getting up and following the half asleep woman,

"That's what I said Natruo," Shizune said,

"Uh you do realise you're carrying Yakumo right?,"

Shizune stopped, she looked at 'Ton-Ton' and blinked, Yakumo now had pig ears that wiggled, "Oink Oink," Yakumo said,

"No this is definitely Ton-Ton," she said, "She even oinks,"

"Yeah Natruo I even oink, so I'm obviously a pig," Yakumo said,

"You tell him Ton-Ton," Shizune yawned pushing open the door to her room and walking inside, Naruto peeked inside, Tsunade was drunk but not asleep, she wobbled briefly sitting in front of a bonsai tree, Shizune placed Yakumo on Tsunade's head, "There now you can concentrate on the tree, can I go back to bed now?," Shizune asked,

Tsunade hiccupped, "Shiz *hic* Shizande you *hic* look like super cute in this light, wanna *hic* cuddle?," she asked swaying,

"No, you're too affectionate when your drunk, Ask Nartuo," Shizune said crawling into bed,

"You*hic*, you mean Naruto?," Tsunade turned and saw Naruto standing in the doorway, She smiled, "Sweetie come-*hic* come inside," she patted her legs, "Here sit on *hic* Auntie's lap," she said,

"N-no thanks I'm just here to get-,"

"Don't *hic* be like that Nana-chan," Tsunade said holding her arms out, something that Yakumo mimicked, "I just wanna little *hic* cuddle," she said,

Naruto shook his head he walked over to her and she pulled him onto her lap, "There we *hic* are," Tsunade said,

Naruto blushed profusely, he was in the lap of one of the most infamous ninja in the world, known for her intelligence, strength, and beauty, her chest was against the back of his head, but the situation worsened when as she said Tsunade pulled him closer to her wrapping her arms around him as she did, her breasts were on either side of his head now, he was so close he could smell her breath,

"Nana-chan," she said rocking back and forth, "I *hic* don't think I'll win the bet," she said, "I can't use wood style, *hic* its like sage stuff, and I can't be at peace," she slurred,

"You'll just need to work through your problems then," he said, "why don't you tell me what's bothering you?,"

her face scrunched up with anguish, "No, you *hic* don't wanna hear about that," she drawled, "how about *hic* about ooh how we beat Hanzo the salamander?,"

Naruto fought though his blush, he pulled her arms closer and said, "Please Aunty?, I don't want you to be sad anymore,"

"Everyone I love dies," She said, "Dan, Niwaki, Fu, I'm honestly surprised Shizune made it this *hic* far, The only man who loved me for more then my body I abandoned because I didn't want to watch him die, And I abandoned you as well," she said, "Ever wonder what could've been?, If we stayed to raise you?, if I'd have been faster, what could be?,"

Tears dropped onto his head, "A week ago I had this dream, I was at the home Jiraya and I pick out at Konohana, I got out of bed hearing all this noise, I walked downstairs," Tsunade reached her hand out, "She was this close," she said, "Just an arms length away, she smiled 'mama' she cried leaping into my arms, I barely caught her and she just laughed so much, then you walked in and asked 'Is Nee-chan getting clingy again Aunty?,' and you tried to pry her off me but you couldn't, we all had breakfast together and I waved at you both as you walked to the academy, you both insisted you were too old for me to walk with you, but Jiraya said he'd watch you as you went,"

Tsunade's breath hitched, "I woke up," she said, Naruto nodded he understood the meaning behind them, "And I wondered when I had dozed off, but I sat and waited patiently for my-," she held him closer, "For my husband and my kids to come back home to me," She took a few sharp breaths "when I realised what was going on I broke down again,"

"That dream was everything I ever wanted, and could never have, why?, cause I ruined it, if I had just returned as soon as he sent me that letter, who knows?, maybe you might not hate us," She said,

"I don't," he said, "I don't hate you, either of you, You've both seen tragedy over and over, and you both lost your only child," He said, "Tsunade, I forgave Jiraya, I'll forgive you too when you tell me, besides the only person who stopped you from coming back was you,"

"Are you gonna hit me when I tell you?," she asked,

"Yeah," He said,

"that's fair,"

he smiled looking down at the tree, "Would you like me to call you Aunty?," he asked,

"It'd be nice to hear," she admitted,

"Then Aunty look down at your tree," he said,

Tsunade looked down and opened her mouth, "when did it grow?," she smiled, "Guess I won the bet Nana-chan," she said, the little bonsai tree had grown incredibly big,

He shook his head, "Sorry Aunty you gotta learn a technique first," he yawned feeling incredibly comfortable in Tsunade's embrace,

"You sound tired Nana-chan," she said wrapping her arms around him, "Here let Aunty keep you warm while you sleep," Tsunade said, and soon they both fell asleep,

"Ah sleepin like lickle babies," Sarah whispered as she walked in, "I locked da room door," she said leaning against a wall,

That next morning in Konohana,

Ino stretched, "Okay," she said, "Today is the day," she quickly got dressed and after eating a unusually big breakfast for her she was on her way, her walk was uneventful but she made it exactly where she needed to go, she opened the door and walked inside,

Behind the bar was Teresa, who turned to her with a grin, "Oh hey Blond-," Ino stomped across the floor standing on one side of the bar,

"Miss Teresa?," she asked sitting on a stool, she looked the larger woman in the eyes, "His treatment, how bad was it?,"

Teresa nodded, "You lost your nerve the first time the question came to mind," Teresa said, "How did you both meet?," she said, "Naruto and I met when he was at the tender age of four, I found him going through my rubbish, I asked him why he did that and he said cause he needed food, then he ran away from me," a smirk crossed her face, "Not fast enough little morsel I said as I caught him, before I brought him inside, he trembled like a leaf in a hurricane, I had Richie serve him meal after meal until he was satisfied and gave him a warm bed," her smirk fell, "When Serena woke he'd bolted,"

She reached under the counter with both hands, one was a bottle of wine the other was a greyish melon with sections that resembled puffy clouds and a green stem, she placed the fruit on the counter, and tore the cork out with her teeth, she placed it on the counter, "Slowly," She started pouring two glasses of wine "he began trusting us, until he was attacked outside, My sister was the one who was on pub duty that night," Teresa slid a glass over to Ino, "My devil fruit is the Kage-Kage no mi," she chuckled, "I can be pretty scary with it," she took a sip of wine, and Ino reluctantly did the same,

"My sister has a very particular Zoan fruit," She said, "Tell me have you ever heard of any sea monsters?,"

"A few, the Leviathan, Scylla, the Karken-,"

Teresa clapped her hands, "Got it in three kid, My sister's devil fruit, Octo-Octo No Mi: model Kraken, a mythical Zoan type rumoured to be so massive if she ever took the beast's true form she might be too big for the sea to even effect, part Octopus part Crustation, and nightmare to all who sail the seas," Teresa said, her hands shaking as she herself imagined the beast, "If nothing else, then I'm sure my sister gave those who hurt him hell," she said,

Teresa shook her head, "Soon after he came to rely on us, he slept here most nights and gained some of my worse habits, and we thought of him as our son," she said sliding the fruit over to her, "This is the Moku-Moku No Mi, it's a logia type devil fruit, which turns who ever should bite it into a smoke human, the offense is very limited as smoke isn't that strong, but as with all logia fruit, upon being struck at all the body will turn to smoke nullifying the attack,"

"Why are you giving it to me?," Ino asked,

"We were planning to give it to him, but he accidentally ate the Bara-Bara No Mi," Teresa said, "This fruit is a promise between you, me and my sister," she said, suddenly half of Teresa's body seemed to get darker skin one eye glimmered like gold while the other like jade, her hair half became white,

"Protect our son,"

Suddenly Teresa was back to normal, "If that was all miss Ino, then I'd recommend you eat and run, after all you don't want to be late for your training," Teresa said, "and fair warning, it tastes terrible,"

Ino nodded, "I have no idea what just happened," she said picking up the fruit and biting into it, "I'll keep him-," her face turned purple "That's disgusting," she said swallowing the bits in her mouth, "bleh, safe, god that tasted like how rotting trash smells," she said,

Teresa swung her fist at Ino the fist phased right through her, "I'm okay?,"

"Some free advice," Teresa said offering Ino the wine glass, "Don't rely on that fruit to defend you it took me four seconds to kill the last idiot with it's power get it so get creative,"

Ino nodded, "Thanks Teresa, I'll skip the wine though,"

Teresa nodded as Ino ran out the pub, then she put a long orange banana like devil fruit that coiled around itself fruit on the pub table, "that's one down, now I'd better check the stock," she smirked entering the back room,

Ino looked down at her hand, "That might be a huge leap forward," she clenched her fist, "but compared to him, I'm still incredibly weak, I'll get a lot stronger," she said, before running off,

Shortly after she left Konohamaru stopped outside of the pub, "Just made it, I hope that snack miss Teresa promised to give me really will help me get stronger," he smiled, "Yeah I'll become much stronger then even the boss," he said running inside, "hey miss Teresa!, you in here!?," he called, after a few minuets, "hmm, she mentioned having to do some stuff," he grinned seeing the orange nana, "maybe this is it," he shrugged peeling the fruit, "well down the hatch," he said eating the fruit,

As he swallowed he grabbed his throat, "Gah It tastes like shampoo," he said,

Teresa smiled as she walked back in, "Oh Konohamaru, I didn't hear you come in, hey where is the devil fruit I left on the counter?," she asked,

-Back at Tanzaku Quarters-

Naruto stood fourteen feet from Yakumo, he pulled his chunin jacket on "Ready you two?," he asked,

She smiled "Yeah," Sarah grinned spitting a stick of gum into Yakumo's hand, "Careful new daddy we ain't going easy on ya," she said,

Naruto turned to the others "You guys watching?,"

"Yes Naruto-san," Shizune said, both Jiraya and Tsunade sat quietly and watched,

"Then by the refs call," Yakumo said,

Ton-Ton raised a hoof, "Oink, Oink. . . OINK!," she said moving her hoof down,

Naruto raised his fist "Bara-Bara Ho!," he called sending his fist flying at Yakumo who just popped the gum in her mouth, as the fist got closer she rocked her chair over dodging the fist and spat the gum into her hand, the gum grew like a whip and wrapped around Naruto's split fist,

"Bungee gum Bara-Bara Ho!," she said throwing the fist back at him, Nauto rotated his waist kicking the fist into the floor,

"Gah!," he cried, "right that's my hand," He said, then he leapt away as Sarah began spiting rocks at him,

Yakumo's wheelchair sprung back up, and after putting the gum back into her mouth she made a Rapier in her hand, "Time to fight," she cocked Sarah "Chig-chig," the rabbit said before firing more rocks at Naruto,

"Right," He said slapping his own cheeks, like before he brought his arm back, "Adamantine Whip," he said swinging his arm at the first rock a chain emerged and smashed right through it, he grinned, "Right then," He brought his other arm back, "double adamantine whip," he said swing his other arm forward, a chain shot out of his hand, that was on the floor, not his body, "Oh yeah," he said, "Some times I forget where my body is,"

Naruto jumped back calling his hand to him "Bara-Bara senbei!," he sent his legs spinning toward the rocks they hit one but they collided and that just sent his legs and the rock to the ground,

Naruto's split hand just grabbed his Chunin jacket's collar holding him "Ha!," he smirked, both his arms split into pieces and connected to each other, "Bara-Bara Ramen," he said having one long arm, then he coiled all his pieces and began whipping everywhere erratically, "Ada-Bara: Eradication," he said starting to sweat,

Yakumo just smiled she spun her chair around with her sword pointed downward, "Up, Up," she cheered, the floor raised up around her his chain hit it and smashed right through it with blood erupting out,

"No Yaku-," Then Naruto was pulled into the where Yakumo had been, "Huh?," he said as he was pulled into a large pink balloon, "What just happened?," he asked,

"I trapped you," Yakumo cheered,

"You're okay?!," he cried, he let out a sigh of relief, "That's great,"

"Don't worry," she said emerging from her hidey hole, "I used Sarah to dig into the ground before the whip even hit the ground shield, then I made some red liquid gush out, to distract you so Sarah could nom your chain,"

"And after she reeled me in you blew your gum into a balloon?," he asked,

"Yep," Yakumo nodded, rolling Naruto down to face her, "Do I win?," she asked,

"Yeah you win," he said,

Yakumo spun around "YAY!," she said, before making Sarah inhale the gum trap, and Naruto with it, before she spat him back out,

Everyone around was shocked,

"My Kurama-chan, what an interesting match" A familiar and pained voice said, everyone turned to see Orochimaru walk out of the woods,

"Orochimaru!," Jiraya said taking a battle stance, as did Shizune and Naruto(as soon as he reformed his body,),

"I'm impressed," Orochimaru said, "I saw your battle against Neji and Gaara, so I knew about our shared user status but I never expected that you would be able to combine the Bara-Bara No Mi with the Adamantine chains Naruto-kun," he said walking closer to them, undeterred by the threatening stances they took, "How imaginative Naruto-kun,"

"So you have a devil fruit too?," Naruto asked,

"Yes, A mythical zoan type, but enough pleasantries," he said turning to Tsunade, "I'm here for a little favour,"

"After what you did to Sarutobi-Sensei I wouldn't help you at all," She said,

"Really?, Not even for little Fu-," Orochimaru was pressed against a tree, held by both Tsunade and Jiraya, She had a herculean fist and Jiraya readied a Rasengan,

"If you ever want to get back to which hole you do your evil research in I'd advise you to never even think her name again," Tsunade warned,

"Well that's a scary reaction," Naruto and Shizune turned to see Kabuto holding a crying bundle, "Isn't it little one?," he asked, "I guess if they don't want you-," He made a chakra blade,

"NO!," Jiraya screamed,

Naruto forced red chakra into his hands "BARA-BARA YOKO HO!." he shouted, his fist vanished and caught Kabuto's arm, though neither seemed to move the other,

"Combining the Kyubii's chakra with your powers Naruto-kun?, yet another impressive attack," Orochimaru said, "Now then, Tsunade, Jiraya, You can have your daughter back, though she wont live long without a certain something only I can give her," he said, "Something I need my arms for," he smiled cruelly "Consider her a gift from an old friend," he nodded to Kabuto, who gently set the reanimated baby on the ground and stepped back, Naruto's hand let go of him and grabbed Fu, bringing her back over to Naruto who held her,

Neither Jiraya or Tsunade let go of Orochimaru, "Please you two she hasn't got long, a week to be exact, so try to make up your mind in four days, just to be safe, at the end of the fourth day, I will wait for your answer at the castle, and please let's try to be civil, I'd hate to kill you all for no reason," he said phasing into the tree,

Kabuto just smiled and waved before he turned and walked away,

After waiting a few moments Jiraya and Tsunade slowly walked over to Naruto, Jiraya raised a shaky hand to the wrapped bundle moving the part away from the babies face, there she was, "F-Fu," he said quickly taking the bundle from Naruto,

"So," Shizune said, "What do we do now?,"

EEEEEEEEEND OF CHAAAAAAAAAAAPTEEEER

A chapter up in a timely manner?, What sorcery be this?,

fun fact about act two, act four I literally made up on the spot, act three went through two the original idea was bombs that he would clone, so he'd throw one and then it'd be like Naruto used the star sign and out of one bomb there were now fifty, but that was too close to another character I'm still trying to write so I changed it to something else, but act two has had three different ideas behind it, the first was Naruto turns into a girl wears tight spandex and has claws on the hands and feet, this version was chop-swap, a speed based combat user, it just used flexibility and the ability to shift its body to fight,

the second which was originally written in this story was big and small which is written in an omake below, the Idea for big and small came from playing overlord and the wonderful 101,(which I did decide to keep),

and the third is Battle-Girl Victory Fox, which is because I have this new gundam breaker game, and for some unknown reason I made her transformation a magical girl transformation, basically Chibi Naruto runs off and uses his helmet to see what Victory fox does from a first and a third persons perspective, and has the addition of chakra armour which I think I did the power source well enough though I can sense It's going to give me problems in the future but I'll deal with that when the time comes,

Also while responding to a certain extremely helpful fan I meant to clarify that when I said about not planning anything in my stories, I do have some ideas of who the main characters will be and what they will be able to do when it comes to Shippuden, but the downside to my writing style is I'm a very impulsive person, Speaking as honestly as I can the next chapter could reveal that Naruto was a girl the entire time, or that Itachi convinces him to join the Akasuki and that becomes the story, things that I decided on a whim to do, which is bad,

also there is a Grinning Ninja poll up, but don't worry I need to edit it, As the characters are underage and that is something no one wants, What I meant it to say is after the two year time skip do you all want sex scenes in, honestly I must write drunk sometimes, just so you know there will be a few more up soon, so keep your eyes out,

oh and speaking of other things I'm doing there might be a new Naruto fanfiction out soon the title for it now is Man's Way, it's about a Naruto who has left the village after an attempt on his life six years ago that everyone but the Hokage thinks actually killed him, he's come back as a wandering swordsman, It's Naruto with some Yu Yu Hakusho mixed in, with a side of Yakuza, and some Rorouni Kenshin sprinkled in for flavoring, It's also my first Naruto fanfiction to not have Yakumo as a main character, I know, I know, I can't believe it either, I've added an omake about It's prologue but no pressure dudes,

Omake One: Act two alternate scene: Big and Small

then the smoke cleared to Tsunade a dark skinned red haired woman was standing there alone wearing a white shirt with rolled up sleeves and black suit bottoms, she looked at Tsunade, "Act two," she said with a distinct British accent, cracking her knuckles, "Big..."

the chibii version of Naruto was now wearing a black mobster style suit and white hat, he had a five o'clock shadow and a cigar, he jumped onto the woman's bicep, "AND SMALL," he said, with yes a stereotypical mobster accent, "y'see it humour cause this here is Amanda Smallyr, and I'm Dick Big," he said, Tsunade snorted,

"You really aren't," Amanda said blankly,

"Gah!, Missus Small," he gasped,

"It's like a baby carrot," Missus Small said,

"Stop it, please," Mr Big said,

"except tinier?," Tsunade asked, Missus Small nodded,

"gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!," Mr Big screamed, "THAT'S IT," he whistled

and suddenly a thousand clones of Mr Big without the white hats appeared "YES MR BIG?," they shouted

"Ice dis broad," he said pointing at Tsunade,

"Ha you don't scare me little brat," Tsunade said Unaware the boss clones had snuck behind her, "I am Tsunade Senju, one of the Three Sannin and I wi-,"

"for the master- I mean boss," One shouted jumping on her leg,

"Get the broad," Another said attaching to her back,

soon Tsunade was covered in the boss's clones,

Missus Small jumped up to Tsunade cocking her fist back, "UNITE HAND!," she shouted and the clones behind her jumped and ran up her arm attaching like a freaking Megazord taking the shape of a giant hand which Missus Small swung Tsunade knocking her away, the ones that hit Tsunade poofed and were immediately replaced, Missus Small then raised her giant hand "UNITE POLE!," she shouted the clones reformed into a pole and Missus small used her strength to fling herself and Mr Big after Tsunade while the clones ran after them,

then Tsunade groaned "CHEAP TRICK BRAT," she cried regaining her footing and launching herself right at Missus Small

"UNITE SHIELD," The Missus shouted and the clones flew in front of the fist and formed a shield, Tsunade smashed through it, and the sides snapped at her like a bear trap which due to both hitting Tsunade at high speeds poofed, but Tsunade herself fell having lost her momentum

"Ha broad ya can't be beating us wi'd tactics like dat," Mr Big said,

Tsunade smiled at him, "I'll admit I'm pretty impressed he's come this far," She raised her fist smashing a tree's base before flinging it at him, "let's see how he handles projectiles,"

"Hmm how to deal with this?," Missus Small asked as tons of trees flew at them, "Got it, UNITE CANNON!," she shouted, the few remaining clones ran down her arm forming a large cannon, Missus Small Aimed at the trees and fired three clones,

two flew on the other sides of the tress and grabbed them spinning around to deflect other trees,

"Smart kid," Tsunade said,

"Not like you," said the last of the clones who were fired from the cannon who tried to kick Tsunade,

Tsunade just grabbed him and threw him back, he landed back in the cannon and it poofed, Missus Small and Mr Big began falling, "Well Missus Small what say we leave this one to the kid?,"

"A capital idea Mr Big," she said and both poofed returning to Naruto,

"OH REAL FUNNY SMALL DICK," Naruto shouted,

'You're Missus Small and Mr Big,' The Kyubii said

'Yeah but I have to sell it don't I?,'

Then Tsunade jumped and caught him "so did you just call yourself small dick?," she asked,

"No comment." He said,

---

Omake Two : Man's way

Naruto stood over the corpse of his friend her dead eyes stared up at the world, Naruto froze as the door to the monastery opened "Don't worry big bro-," Zephyr skidded to a halt, "-thers here?," he said seeing the three corpses one stabbed in the back the other two split in half, "Brother?," he asked looking at Naruto,

"I killed her," Naruto said, "I killed them both," he turned to face Zephyr "and the worst part is I would have killed them both regardless of if one used a substitute jutsu on the other or not," Naruto looked at the sword in his hand a broadsword made entirely of chakra, "My sword cleaved through them both as if they were nothing but air,"

"I-it was an accident," Zephyr said walking over to the blonde, "You didn't mean to do it, the monks will understand," he said putting a hand on the blonde's shoulder Naruto twitched "Easy," Zephyr wrapped his arms around his blond friend "I've got you,"

"We were training," Naruto said, "Then this guy slid down the mountain, he killed the supervising monk, and I tried to fight him, my heat flared up and the added strength flowed through me, he got an evil smirk and suddenly he swapped places with Yumi, but I lost focus and the sword grew cutting through them both," Naruto looked down at his hands, "I killed them both," he said,

In shock Naruto fell limp in his brothers arms who lifted him and screamed for help as Naruto dropped into memories,

-Three years earlier-

Naruto forced a smile as he left the academy, the thoughts and feelings of so many around him swirling around In his head, he felt their hate of him, their joy when they scored him incorrectly, but that was easy enough to deal with compared to the marketplace, Naruto stopped as he had many times, he pressed his back to a wall and covered his ears, now he was too far away from anyone to sense anything,

he took a deep breath and just stood there trying to compose himself, 'I just have to keep this up for the rest of my entire life, No problem,' he thought,

suddenly something entered his range, his eyes went wide as an overpowering guilt sparked into his mind, then he had a vison, people dying, horribly, he heard someone screaming a horrid mournful angry scream, he looked up,

A weasel masked Anbu ninja looked at him, 'That must be him,' Naruto thought,

the Ninja jumped off, unable to shake the vision from his mind Naruto ran after him,

Naruto followed the Anbu's guilt to the Uchiha compound and ran inside the open gate, he saw him again leaping from home to home, with a hand on his head Naruto knew exactly what to do,

"HEY YOU ANBU BASTARD!," he shouted drawing his attention, "L-leave these people alone," he said trying to stand his ground, 'okay now I just have to figure out how to use the fox's chakra,' he thought,

the Anbu appeared in front of him, "Why are you here?," he asked,

"To st-stop y-you," Naruto said shaking,

"And how do you plan to do that?,"

"I k-know w-what's i-i-inside me, S-so back off!," he said pointing at him, "Or I'll t-transform and k-kick your ass,"

as soon as the Anbu put his hand on his sword Naruto felt incredible fear, and with that the Kyubii's chakra flowed through him, his eyes slitted and his body became covered in red chakra that quickly took a fox like form,

the Anbu jumped at him trying to cut him down but Naruto was dragged backwards toward the gate, "WHAAAAAA," he cried as he tripped and was dragged across the ground,

"How?-" The Anbu asked as the lights of the Uchiha district flared to life, in the distance he could sense more Anbu approaching, "Damn, well I only have one left anyway," he said jumping off,

Naruto turned around seeing a red chakra tail had wrapped around a lamp post the Uchiha district, 'so that's how I-' then he felt the Anbu's determination as he ran away,

"Hey get back here," He said jumping after him with speed and reflexes that were new to him,

he swung off a lamp post and kicked in the door taking a low stance,

Suddenly Naruto was blown out of the house by a strong wind, "Kushina's son?," Naruto looked up, A black haired woman with two crimson eyes and two katana drawn stared back at him, "what are you doing here?,"

"Lady there's a weasel masked guy he's done something bad," Naruto said,

"Weasel masked guy?," she asked as behind her something appeared,

"TURN AROUND LADY," Naruto screamed reaching for her, the chakra responded and stretched over to her grabbing and pulling her to him just in time to avoid an attack,

the woman turned and noticed the weasel Anbu member caked in the blood of her husband carrying his severed head, he took off his mask, "Good save Naruto, though it doesn't help me a whole lot," the Anbu and Hiruzen appeared behind them,

"Itachi?," His mother breathed in disbelief,

"Captain?," The Anbu members gasped,

Hiruzen just stared at Itachi 'what happened Itachi?, how did it come to this?,' he thought

Itachi raised his hands "Twenty dead!," He cried "both men and women, though if not for your intervention fox demon I'd have killed more, In fact every Uchiha would be dead," he said, 'And It all went just as I planned,' he thought looking at Naruto, 'because of your intervention I was able to kill all of my fathers insurgents, though the fox chakra was unplanned for, now the council will blame forces outside their control for the Uchiha still being alive and I don't have as much blood on my hands, but I have to sell the next part perfectly,'

"Why?," His mother asked, "Why kill your own clan? your family?,"

Itachi laughed, "I did as I have always done as I was trained to do, act in Konohana's best interest, My father planned an insurgency so like the soldier he taught me to be I carried out my mission, I had to slaughter the Insurgents but the Insurgents were all Uchiha so every Uchiha must die!," he laughed, "that way no one can usurp the peace I fight for every day,"

Hiruzen raised his hand, "Itachi stand down son, we need to debrief you,"

Itachi shook his head wildly "But sir the mission isn't complete, my mother, sister, I only killed twenty, there's more, what if I missed an insurgent?, I can't know who they all are so every Uchiha must die." Itachi smiled "I know you didn't know about this sir but I couldn't tell you, I was afraid it would break your heart, that the peace you try to keep day and night could be broken by these scum,"

Hiruzen shook his head, "Weasel please stand down,"

Itachi's eyes went wide, he pointed the blade at Hiruzen, "Sir?, No you- you're one of them too aren't you?," he asked his lips curling into a snarl "A FILTHY INSURGANT," his blade was shaky "I'm sorry sir but for the will of fire to burn," he glared down at the gathered Ninja and the child, "YOU HIRUZEN SARUTOBI MUST DIE!," he screamed.

He jumped up into the grip of a giant red fist, "I won't let you hurt anyone else!," Naruto said he stretched his arm away from him and flung Itachi away "So get lost!," he cried,

The chakra left Naruto who was caught by the black haired lady,

as they landed Naruto looked into the concerned eyes of Mikoto Uchiha, "Are you okay?," She asked softly,

Naruto panicked he struggled out of Mikoto's grasp and ran away, "I'm sorry!," he shouted,

"Wait!," she called, seeing he was getting further away from her she cupped her hands over her mouth "Thank You!," she shouted

Naruto ran home he opened the mostly kicked in door unaware of what was in store for him, he ran inside and hid under his bed,

Unaware that his entire apartment complex had been doused with gasoline, a man walked inside the boys apartment holding a grease can and a lighter,

The man poured the grease over himself as he walked into Naruto's room and pulled the child out from underneath his bed,

"What are you-?," the man wrapped his arms around Naruto in a tight hug, but Naruto could feel the man's anger,

"Sweet dreams Naruto," the man said gently as he stuck the lighter,

As fire consumed them Naruto found the strength to shove the man off him and ran jumping out of a window as an explosion destroyed what was left of his home and the force of it shoved him onto a nearby roof, Naruto's shirt had soaked up some grease on it's shoulder and Naruto had to rip it off,

He bit into his arm and screamed in pain luckily for him a strong wind blew out the fire on his shoulder before it started to rain soothing the pain in his shoulder,

Naruto turned back to the blaze he watched as his few possessions burned to ash,

"That's it," he said standing shakily to his feet, "I'm done,"

Though unaware to the boy Hiruzen Sarutobi watched as he left the village praying the boy wouldn't return for his own sake,

-Flashback End-

As Naruto opened his eyes in the monastery of the land of steel he looked at the third degree burns on his shoulder, he got up rolled his tatami mat up, took a kendo stick and his book of revelations and exited the monastery,

"You're just leaving?," Zephyr asked waiting outside the door for his brother, Naruto nodded, "They don't blame you, I don't blame you, Star doesn't blame you,"

"I blame myself," Naruto said, "I need to find myself out there,"

Zephyr nodded, "I'm not going to stop you, I just wish you'd have said goodbye before leaving,"

"Sorry," Naruto said, "I'd just rather not have all the attention on me,"

Zephyr nodded, "You staying in the land of Iron till we bury Yumi?,"

"No, her killer shouldn't be anywhere near her wake," Naruto said, he turned to Zephyr "Goodbye brother,"

"Not goodbye," Zephyr smiled, "Only farewell," Zephyr turned and walked back inside the monastery humming we'll meet again,

Naruto smiled His journey has just began "where will I go first?," he asked

---

Omake three: Itachi and Kuze, polar opposites.

Itachi opened his eyes, fatigue had overtaken him and he had drifted off to sleep, he looked around seeing nothing he laid his head back down on the soft rock he had been using as a pillow,

then he remembered what had happened, he opened his eyes,

"Oh you're awake Itachi-san," Kuze said, "You been asleep for like half a day," he stated,

"Sorry for the inconvenience Kuze-san," Itachi stated, "It must have been very dull sitting here waiting for me to wake," Itachi moved his arm and realised something was draped over him the fabric felt familiar,

"Kuze why is your coat draped over me?," he asked,

"You were shivering," Kuze said simply "only seemed right,"

Itachi smiled, "I thought you'd hate me," Itachi said,

"Why would I hate ya?," Kuze asked,

Itachi stood up, "Ah you didn't hear what I did," he stated handing Kuze back his coat,

"Well it can't be that bad Itachi-san, you have a good soul," Kuze said,

Itachi chuckled, "Kuze why do you hate Sarutobi?," he asked

"He used three kage and their ninja to destroy my home and my people," Kuze said,

"What would you do if you found out someone did a similar thing to their own people?," He asked,

"Probably beat 'em into the ground," Kuze said, "Anyway we're getting off topic, Why'd you fall asleep?,"

Itachi shook his head, "Because until now I hadn't slept in three days,"

"Three days?, Itachi-san that's-,"

"Kuze," Itachi said, "Would you mind if we took a quick detour?,"

"Uh not really," The taller man said standing up, "Were we going?,"

"Konohana, I need to check something,"

Kuze cracked his neck, "Been waiting to go there," he said, "You just wait Sautobi, I'm gonna crac-,"

Itachi grabbed Kuze's shoulder, "That's the thing," he said, "I have a favour to ask,"

"Hmm?,"

"How would you react if Sarutobi was dead?," Itachi asked, "Would you take your anger out on the village?,"

Kuze shook his head, "When I was a boy my village, my father, my kage," he shut his eyes, "My people," he forced out, "Sarutobi, told the Tsuchikage, Raikage, and Mizukage that we were secretly trying to take out the other nations, so they came and razed my home to the ground," he said, "This thing is between me and those kage, Yagara is dead, I helped the woman who killed him, A is dead replaced by his son A who seems to be just like him, and Onoki and Sarutobi are still alive," Kuze said, "A's son A, Onoki, they will face my chains after Sarutobi does,"

Kuze turned to Itachi, "The villages though, they'll try and stop me, but I'll fight only the ninja, and I swear they will live unless I can't beat them otherwise, but if I destroy the village and it's people then I've become the very person I hate,"

Itachi nodded, "Then I'm sorry to tell you Kuze, Hiruzen Sarutobi is gone,"

Kuze's eyes were wide, he clenched his fist, gritted his teeth,

"Orochimaru killed him," Itachi said,

"I see," Kuze said straightening up, "let's go then shall we?," he walked toward the land of fire,

"Are you okay?," Itachi asked,

"Not sure," Kuze said, "I'll figure it out later, but right now I need to see his body,"

Itachi nodded, and the two walked toward the land of fire