Lift me up, just a small nudge,

And I'll be flying like a thousand doves

1000 Doves, Lady Gaga

That night, sitting on the bed in their new room, Loki told Sigyn everything. The void, Thanos, how the Chitauri had tortured him, starved him, violated him, and then, finally, stolen his mind. How he had been forced to watch as Thanos made his body kill hundreds of innocent people of Midgard. How he'd screamed and kicked and fought inside his mind, almost breaking through at one point, battling Thor, but Thanos had been far too strong for him, and had pushed him down into the back of his own mind, only to finally be re-instated when the Hulk had smashed him, broken him against the floor of Stark Tower. He'd taken off his shirt, allowing her to see the myriad of scars the Chitauri had given him. He'd told her, finally of Thanos' promise, that if he failed to retrieve the Tesseract, there would be nowhere he could hide, and that Thanos would come, and have his revenge. She was weeping by the end of his tale, and she clung to him, whispering that she'd never let him go again.

"It was my own, doing, Melleth." He told her. "I was the one who let go."

"But I should have come for you." She sobbed quietly. "I promised you, that I would always come for you."

Loki blinked back his own tears, and stroked her fiery locks, trying to calm her down. It had been a promise he'd clung to, in his lowest hours, as the Chitauri had slowly broken every bone in his miserable body, that his Sigyn would come for him. But she hadn't. And Loki had broken, because of that. "Please don't cry, Sigyn." He whispered, but his own voice was shaking. "Please."

She pulled back, pressing her fingers against her eyes in an effort to compose herself. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"It's alright." Loki sighed, shaking his head. "I'm here, now, yes?"

"Yes." She sniffled, wiping her cheeks. "You are. And I'm so grateful."

He nodded, and reached his fingers hesitantly toward her stomach. "May I?"

She smiled, nodding encouragingly. Loki tentatively laid his palm on his wife's stomach. Just then, Sleipnir kicked against her father's hand. He glanced up at her in awe and surprise. "Was that…"

Sigyn nodded. "It was her."

He smiled back down at her belly, his eyes wide with wonder like a child on his birthday. "Woah…" He lowered his ear to his child, even though he knew very well she wouldn't be making any sounds. "Hello…"

There was, naturally, no answer, but Loki went on, anyway. "I'm your father. I haven't been around, yet, but I… well, I'm here now."

Sigyn giggled in amusement, and he glanced up at her with a twinkle in his eyes. "Don't laugh at me! She can hear me; you know she can."

She nodded. "Yeah, she can. Carry on."

Sleipnir kicked again, as if in encouragement, and Loki continued speaking to his daughter. He talked to her until late that night, about all manner of things. About Vali, the Avengers, himself, her. When he was too tired to continue, Sigyn was already asleep. He kissed her on the forehead, and tucked himself in, beside her.

The bed was too soft. The couch, the night before had been bad, the bed, he felt like he was going to fall through, to the floor. He supposed it was because he'd been sleeping on the hard-stone floor of his cell in the sanctuary for the past six months, but the reason why didn't particularly matter. He tossed and turned and tossed and turned and tossed and turned until he fell into a drowsy doze, and was awakened by the horror of his dreams, and tossed and turned some more. A few hours after midnight, he couldn't take it anymore, and slipped out of bed, curling up on the cold hard-wood floor. He fell asleep almost instantly, and slept very soundly until noon the next day. When he awoke, the room was still and quiet, the bed made, and a thin blanket draped over him. Sigyn had left a note on the nightstand.

I've gone downstairs to spend time with the Avengers. I'd love for you to join me, if you'd like.

All my love, Princess Ziggy.

P.S. Why in the Nine did you sleep on the floor?

Loki smiled, and replaced the note. He slipped into the Midgardian clothes they'd purchased, the previous day, appreciating the freedom of the non-restrictive clothing, and slipped out of the bedroom into the elevator. "Jarvis, please take me to the floor Sigyn is on."

"Of course, Loki." Jarvis politely answered.

When Loki stepped onto the communal floor, he could hear the warriors laughing in the adjacent room, but as soon as Loki stepped inside, all joviality was swiftly put an end to. All eyes were on him. The only relatively friendly pair where's Sigyn's who still had a smile on her face. "Good morn, Beloved!" She waved cheerfully at him.

"Did you want something, Loki?" The Captain asked, politely, but not exactly warmly.

So, this was how he was doomed to be. Excluded. It had been this way on Asgard, and evidently, he was the unwelcome addition here, as well. That was him. Loki, the Afterthought of Asgard and the Anticlimax of the Odinson family. "No, I was just…" He began quietly. What had he been doing? Had he truly expected to be welcomed as one of the group? Of course not. He scrambled for an excuse to be here. "I was just wondering if you happened to have a library?" Of course. That was Loki's sanctuary. His fortress to hide in when all others excluded him.

"Yeah, I think it's the ninety-second floor?" The Man of Iron spoke up. "Ask Jarvis, he'd know better than we do."

Loki nodded politely, and turned back to the elevator. He half-hoped, as he always did, that someone would call him back to be included, or at least accompany him to the library, but it was not to be. Who cares about such a monster as you? He told himself. Sigyn's acceptance is a rare exception, not the rule. He shook his head fiercely to clear it of his woes, and stepped into the elevator, again. "Jarvis, please take me to the library?"

"My pleasure, Loki."

His pleasure. Of course, only a robot would take pleasure in being kind to the likes of him. But his depression was soon forgotten, when the doors opened again revealing rows upon rows of Midgardian books.

Loki grinned delightedly, as he walked through the aisles, trailing his fingers along the spines of the manuscripts. So many books! And he'd not read a single one yet, as Midgard had no way of obtaining the books he'd already read! Where to start… the book cases were labeled as to the genre of book, and there were so many to choose from! Science Fiction, Fantasy, History, Physics, Poetry… Loki was almost giddy with delight.

"If I may, Loki, could I make a few suggestions?" Jarvis asked quietly.

"Go ahead." Loki breathed.

"I believe the poetical work 'The Raven', by Edgar Allen Poe would particularly appeal to you." A spotlight shone on the location of the book. "Along with the works of J.R.R. Tolkien, Albert Einstein, Stephen Hawking, Jean-Jacques Rousseau, Charles Dickens, Jules Verne, Oscar Wilde, Benjamin Carson, Rudyard Kipling, Sr. Arthur Conan Doyle, Andrius Versailles, Robert Browning, William Shakespeare…" The list went on and on, lighting up various places all over the library. Loki practically drooled in anticipation, rushing from place to place, selecting book after book, creating quite an impressive stack in the section set aside for armchairs, where one would read. It took him half of the remainder of the day to gather them all, and when he'd finally picked every book that interested him, he gleefully sat down, picking up the first book Jarvis had mentioned.

Once, upon a midnight dreary…

And Loki was lost in his own world.

Hours later, Loki felt a gentle hand on his shoulder, and he started, and looked up. "Hello, Sigyn!"

"What are you reading?" She asked softly, a small smile on her lips.

"This Midgardian author, named Sr. Arthur Conan Doyle." Loki explained excitedly. "He writes these mystery novels, about a detective from Britain called Sherlock Holmes. He's truly fantastic, I'm working on this one, called the Hound of the Baskervilles, about how he, and his friend, Dr. John Watson are trying to…"

"I'm sorry, Beloved, but I'm very tired." Sigyn interrupted. "Would you mind telling me all about it, later?" Loki looked up at her face, noticing the weary lines around her eyes.

"Oh, of course. I'm sorry I didn't notice it, before." Loki stood up, gathering his wife into his arms. "You aren't in any pain, are you?"

"No, not really. Just tired." Sigyn assured him. "Are you hungry?"

Loki was always hungry, now, he'd just gotten used to the hunger pangs. "A little. Would you like to take a nap? I can help myself to something from the refrigerator."

Sigyn smiled up at him affectionately. "Loki, it's almost midnight. I'm going to go to bed."

Almost midnight? Where had the time gone? He gently picked her up, carrying her into the elevator. Once they got to their bedroom, she pulled her shoes off for her, and undid her hair, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek, before pulling the silky blankets up to her chin. "Loki?"

"Yes, Beloved?"

"Why did you sleep on the floor?" Sigyn murmured, already half asleep.

"The bed was too soft." He explained.

"I miss you, Loki." She whined, holding out her arms like a small child. "Can you hold me, tonight?"

Loki ignored the pang of hunger his stomach protested with, and laid down, wrapping his arms around his beautiful wife. "I love you, Sigyn."

"Love you, too…" Sigyn murmured, and then she was asleep. Loki stayed by her side, rubbing comforting circles on her back until he was certain she wasn't going to wake up, and then he got up, nipped a carton of cream of ice from the refrigerator, and wandered through the tower to Stark's balcony. Leaning against the railing, he spooned some of the cold treat into his mouth, his mind echoing with all he'd read, that day.

Sigyn had made friends, again. And, once again, he'd been left behind. It seemed he was born to be the creature of darkness, always annoyingly present, yet never actually giving anyone any benefit. A harbinger of evil, one might say.

Is there balm in Gilead?

Where was Gilead? He'd have to look it up, tomorrow. Tomorrow… it seemed like such a hopeful word. Maybe tomorrow, he could speak to one of the Avengers. No, they'd only scorn him. Better to let them alone. Let Sigyn's friends remain Sigyn's friends. He could be alone. He had the library. He had Holmes. And Frodo. And… these were only fictional people. Fictional people he could never interact with. Who would never accept him, either.

For the first time, since he'd been banished, Loki longed for the company of his mother, of Angrboda, even Thor, if he still cared about him. It was not the last time, nor was it the first time, that he'd ever felt entirely, hopelessly alone.

A week passed, and Sigyn became extremely close with the Avengers. Loki remained in the shadows of the library, tucked away, reading his heart out. Every night, he would sleep on the floor, the bed still seeming like it was going to swallow him. One night after a particularly nasty nightmare, involving Chitauri, red-hot pincers, and electrical shocks, Loki found himself unable to sleep. He wandered the halls of the tower, marching up and down the stairs, exploring the fortress he lived in, and trying to keep his mind off of the memories that were pushing in. Behind one of the doors in the stairwell, there was the sound of gay laughter, from the Man of Iron, and the beast-no, he had a name. Dr. Banner.

For some reason, Loki pushed open the door, and quietly stepped inside. At first, the two scientists didn't notice him, quietly standing in the shadows.

"Leave it to you, Tony…" Dr. Banner chuckled, shaking his head.

"Hey, have you never wanted to eat donuts while sitting inside of an enormous donut?" The Man of Iron spread his arms in his defense.

"No, not really." Bruce admitted, grinning until he caught sight of two emerald green eyes, reflecting the bright light of the lab. "Uh… Tony?'

"Present." Stark acknowledged, holding a small flame on a stick up to a bit of metal he'd been tinkering with.

"What's he doing here?"

Stark glanced up at Loki, a confused frown crossing his face. "No idea. Rudolph, what's up?"

Loki froze, starting to contemplate running back into the stairwell.

"Hello, Earth to Bambi!" Stark called, standing up from his chair on wheels. "What are you doing?"

Loki twisted his fingers nervously. "I… I…"

Dr. Banner, surprisingly, stepped forward with a kind expression on his face. "Hey, are you okay?"

Loki glanced up at the doctor, encouraged by his strangely kind demeanor. "I had a nightmare." He suddenly blurted.

Stark cocked his head at the Trickster, seeming to regard him in a new light. "Oh, yeah? Wanna come tell us? I never did give you that drink."

Loki nodded hesitantly, carefully seating himself on the stool Dr. Banner offered him. "I… Sigyn doesn't like me to drink alcohol."

"Fair enough." Stark re-seated himself in front of his bits of metal "I've got soda in the mini-fridge, juice, tea. What would you desire this fine evening?"

Loki hesitated, glancing up at their faces. "Erm… juice?"

"One juice, coming right up!" Stark rolled his chair over to the black box at the end of the table, opening it, and tossing a smaller, brightly colored box at Loki's face. He deftly caught it, turning it over in his hands. "How do you…"

"Here, let me." The doctor gently took the carton from his fingers, and pushed the straw into the top, then giving it back to Loki. "Don't squeeze it, it'll spray juice all over you."

Tony snickered lightly, as he continued his work without looking up. Bruce glared at him. "You better not be laughing about what I think you're laughing about."

The engineer glanced up. "Who, me? Nah, I was laughing about the fact the God of Mischief is sitting in my lab in pajamas, drinking a juice box at three in the morning, because he wanted comfort from a bad dream. It's kinda cute, isn't it?"

Bruce looked at Loki, whose cheeks slightly flushed. "I am not cute." He stated imperiously. As if to prove his point, he took a contemptuous slurp from the "juice box".

"I rest my case." Stark grinned. "So, you wanna tell us about the nightmare?"

"Not if you continue to mock me." Loki mumbled, sending the two of them baleful glares.

"We're not mocking you, Loki." Bruce gently stated. "We're sorry we hurt your feelings. If you don't want to tell us, you don't have to."

"Then I shan't." Loki sniffed, finishing off the juice, and setting the empty box on the floor next to him.

Stark looked up from his work again, spinning around in his chair to face Loki. "Hey, Rudolph, there's no shame in having nightmares. Even I get them. Hell, I think everyone in this building probably gets them on occasion." Loki glanced at Bruce, who nodded in agreement. "But Jolly Green's right, if you don't want to tell us, there's no pressure."

Loki curled in on himself. Staring at the floor. To tell, or not to tell? That was the question. He didn't want to be thought weak, but a tiny part of him really didn't want to be alone in this, either. Banner seemed like a kind man, and Stark had his moments, too. Perhaps…

"Do either of you… have nightmares of things that happened to you?" He asked, intrepidly.

"All the time." Stark nodded encouragingly.

Banner closed his eyes in painful thought. "I honestly don't know if I've had any other kind, these past few years."

Loki felt encouraged by this, somewhat. "Well… the Chitauri… they were not kind to me."

Both of them appeared somewhat shocked by this. "Weren't you their general, or something?"

"Yes." Loki admitted. "But I was never the Master. He, the Master… ordered them to… hurt me." He glanced up at their faces, vaguely wondering why he was admitting all this to them.

"Like, how?" The doctor pressed.

The Trickster shuddered, feeling very small, all of a sudden. "I don't wish to dwell on it enough to describe it to you, but… I believe you mortals would count it as torture."

The two scientists were silent. But, not for long. "Oh, God, I'm sorry, Loki." Stark spoke up. "We had no idea."

"I had wished to keep it that way." Loki whispered, wrapping his arms around himself. "But I could not turn your kindness away with indifference. I suppose you deserved to know."

Bruce leaned forward, placing a comforting hand on Loki's shoulder. "We're here for you, Loki, okay?"

Loki glanced up at him. "You did not want me here." It wasn't a question, everyone knew that.

"No." He admitted. "But seeing you standing there, not knowing what to do… torn between your guilt, and your longing to be accepted… I understand a little of that. And I want to help you, Loki."

"You want to help me?" Loki asked incredulously. "What have I done to earn your… I can't think of a more eloquent word than kindness, but I know there's got to be one."

"It's late." Stark excused him. "You don't have to be a silver tongue at three thirty."

"But that's just what I mean!" Loki protested. "I have next to no standard with you. In your eyes, it's impressive if I make it through the day with killing anyone."

The engineer smirked, giving him a half-shrug. "Well, you didn't have the greatest first impression, you know."

"I know." Loki hung his head. "But that wasn't my doing."

There was another silence. "Loki, are you saying the scepter was controlling you, too?"

Loki stared miserably at the floor. "It means I'm weak."

"What means you're weak?" Stark asked. "You've been through flipping torture, and lived to tell the tale! Dude, you ought to be an Avenger!"

Loki stared at him with round eyes. "You don't mean that."

"Nah, I don't." Stark grinned. "Fury would never let it fly. He doesn't even know you're on Earth, yet, and I plan to keep it that way for a very long time. Don't give me that look, you asked for asylum, I'm giving it to you. But, yeah, if it were my decision, you'd be in the Avengers, already."

"I have no power." Loki pointed out, tracing his fingers along the golden bracelets on his wrists.

Stark waved his hand as if that didn't matter. "You can fight, no magicky-magic necessary."

"If you truly don't mind my company…" Loki trailed off.

'Yeah?" Banner encouraged.

"…why do you always act like that when I enter a room?"

"Act like what?" Stark asked.

Loki sat stiffly, staring into middle space as if actively avoiding a particular person in the room's gaze. He pressed his lips together, tapping his fingers on his leg. "Like that."

"Awkward?" Stark scoffed. "That's because of you and Clint. Every time you walk into the room, he practically explodes. I like having you around. So does Bruce, don't you, Brucie?"

"Yeah, I guess." Banner shrugged.

Loki stared at his hands, clasped in his lap. This was beyond his wildest expectations, or even his dreams. Two of the Avengers… liked him. "Thank you."

"Hey, I can't make you an Avenger, but I can make you the next best thing." Stark stood up crossing his arms across his chest. "You wanna be a science bro?"

Loki frowned, and looked up at him in confusion. "A what?"

"Me and Brucie's very small gang of guys who like science." Stark explained, quirking an eyebrow at him. "Super awesome, very exclusive, you know the works."

"You'd be welcome in the lab at any time, whether you agree or not." Banner pointed out. "Pretty much, the only benefit you'd get is Tony'd be strategically nicer to you. Well, if it's a choice between be nice to a science bro, or be nice to someone else, it's typically the science bro."

Stark half-heartedly glared at the Doctor. "Hey, I'm nice to everyone! Philanthropist, remember? What do you say, Loki? It'd be like the Knights Templar! Or the Band of Brothers, or something cool like that!"

"Brothers?" Loki asked, looking between the two of them. "I'd be… I'd be honored."

"That's a yes!" The engineer cheered. "You wanna start work, now? Or go to bed? I mean, it's pretty early."

Loki stood up. "I'll… retire, for tonight. Thank you, once again."

And then, Loki was a science bro. Like Bruce had said, it didn't really change much, except that Loki felt like he was finally one of a group. He finally belonged somewhere.

YEEK! Long chapter!

Next time, we'll have Loki getting beat up! Of course, I mean, I'm the one telling the story, it's bound to happen...

A heart lets you join the Science Bros, a Review lets you join the Avengers.

TheOnlyHuman.