Author's Note - I'm saying sorry in advance for a little bit of angst in this one, but we all know that Meredith wasn't exactly thrilled when she met Lexie... so yeah... but things will work out I promise. For now... Meredith reacted the same way she did in the series...

Also, I tried to focus more on the actual consequences Thatcher's alcoholism had on Lexie, I felt like they quickly moved from it on the show and never really showed us how much she'd suffered because of it... so let me know what you think. I'm super grateful for every comment.

tw: mentions of alcoholism

Lexie would feel her stomach clutch every time she looked at the glass filled with some kind of alcoholic liquid. Was it the cherry redness of a wine, or the joyful color of some fruity cocktail, or her personal the least favorite... warm amber color of the scotch. There was always a whisper in her head saying… Are you sure you really want to do this? You're not afraid that you'll one day end up like him? But then thankfully, some other, more rational voice in her head would immediately fight back with... But you wouldn't let yourself to end up like that... It's him who should be so concerned about his drinking habits, not you... you don't have that kind of problem, don't be so hard on yourself... Like it was so easy.

As much as it was crowded in her head, it was crowded in the bar too. Noisy and rowdy, people around her were loudly talking, laughing, having meaningless fun, as she sat by the bar counter by herself, with her fingers tangled around the two red straws. She stared down at the glass, making sure to alarm her brain that it was already her third. It surely didn't feel like it. There was no headache, not even the slightest loss of coordination, no blurriness in front of her eyes, no feeling drowsy... nothing.

Inhaling deeply, she brought the glass of margarita to her mouth, taking another big sip. Just like every previous time, despite her attempts to ignore it, the feeling of burning liquid sliding down her throat was exactly what her mind was focused on.

She hated that. She hated how after everything that had happened to her in the last few months, some meaningless things became so visible, and she couldn't help but to focus on them. That need was simply burning within her. Without an actual explanation, her mind had to digest, categorize, memorize, overthink every huge and every tiny feeling around her.

She found herself looking for an excuse every time she wanted to have a drink.

Like in that particular moment. Except, her being alone in a bar after work, and sipping gulp after gulp wasn't just casual relaxing on the cold New York night. It wasn't the need for relaxing that was burning within her body, it wasn't just another ordinary evening that was made to calm herself down after the hard day.

It was the guilt. A little bit of regret, possibly a little bit of shame as well. What the hell did she expect?

Lexie had been watching her for some time before she approached her. With just a corner of her eye, of course, trying not to look like a complete stalker or a psychopath. Carefully hiding, leaned against the vending machine, pretending to look at the chart between her hands. She couldn't help but hopefully search for similarities, for just a little something, literally anything that indeed, makes them sisters.

But everything Lexie did manage to notice haven't given her the results she desperately wanted. Dirty blond hair of hers was a total opposite of Lexie's chocolate brown waves as well as the light bluish color of her eyes wasn't near similar to the dark ones Lexie had.

Lexie knew it was unfair.

In every possible way, under any circumstances... It almost made her feel like a bad guy. And that was something she has never ever associated herself with. The villain of someone's story. The bad guy.

Like every person on the planet, Lexie as well, from time to time, found herself being someone's obstacle. Of course she couldn't be a good fit in life of every single person she has ever met. As she grew up, through the high school, through the med school, there were people who hated her, people who were jealous of her, there were people who wanted her out of their way. She has been through the fights and arguments about boys, about grades, about stupid mistakes she made...

But this. This was different. This was deeper. This wasn't just a hateful roll-eye from a professor who'd found her annoying while she was at med school or a jealous glance she had gotten from some skinny blonde in a blue dress when she was chosen for the prom queen.

Lexie picked up her glass from the polished surface and swirled it around so that the rest of the pale liquid sloshed against the glass. This was different. She wasn't even called some bad, insulting name, but she was declared unwanted. Which was worse. She was called a good name. But unwanted anyway.

I'm sure you are a very nice girl Lexie, but I hope you can understand... you're not a girl I ever wanted to have to know...

Rubbing her forehead with her fingers, Lexie slightly shook her head. Understand... Easier said than done.

The next moment, without even turning her head, she could sense someone's presence right beside her. With the corner of her eye, she caught a sight of the male hand resting on the surface of the bar counter, and secretly hoping it was just some random guy coming for a refill, she titled her head to the other side in an attempt to show she was not in the mood for classic pickup lines. In a silence that followed, she heard a shaky intake of air before the words that caught her by surprise, "You're Lexie, right?"

The mention of her name she found more than enough reasonable motive to turn her head and look at the man next to her. Inaudibly huffing as she recognized him, his blue eyes and sweet smile, she put a thin grin on her face, as he tried to introduce himself, "I'm..."

"I know who you are..." Lexie cut him off after his first word, her tone firm and to the point. "...Dr. Shepherd."

He chuckled at her reaction, taking off his black coat. "Just Derek is fine... You mind if I join you?" he asked politely, his eyes pointing on the empty barstool next to one she was sitting on. Lexie bit the inside of her cheek, sighing in discomfort and silently praying that the lack of her answer would be enough.

Yes, but of course I'm not going to say it in your face... But even after a few seconds had passed without Derek showing any sign of leaving, she softly muttered, "No. Of course not."

He nodded in gratitude, casually settling on the stool next to her.

Lexie nervously tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear, not daring to look at him. Somewhere in the back of her head, she knew why he came to her. From all the rumors she heard about him, how bright his caring trait was, she kind of expected it.

"I know about you and Meredith, too." she gulped before Derek had to chance to say anything. He pursed his lips at her blunt exclamation, letting her continue, "Dad mention it... it was one of few things I actually managed to get out of him about her." Lexie breathed out quickly, taking another sip of her drink, suddenly feeling even more uncomfortable.

"Right." Derek replied with a little laugh. "Lexie, I..."

"You really don't have to do this. It's totally fine." she told him, finally bracing herself enough to look at him, as she tried to ignore the slight cracking of her voice as well. "You don't have to say anything. You don't have to defend her, or explain her reaction, I'm..." Lexie cleared her throat to keep her voice still. "I'm not angry or... hurt." Those finish words of hers barely got out of her mouth, heavily intoxicating air around them, and Derek bent his head down, not knowing was she aware how untruthful those few words sounded. Nothing about them could tell him otherwise. He noticed how tensed her face was, he heard shakiness in her voice, and every big silent pause between the words in her statement was just adding to the point.

"But you are."

"I don't have the right to be angry or hurt." Lexie commented with a small shrug, but visibly disheartened.

"I think you do." he replied tenderly, his voice quiet and kind. "I mean... I would be."

"It's not like I expected that she'll be super-delighted and welcome me into her life with open arms. So if you came here to try to make things better or... whatever you're trying to do, I just don't see it happening." she comforted him softly, trying not to sound rude or accusing.

Derek slightly shifted on his stool, turning more towards her. He sighed deeply in understanding, and then admitted with such a kindness in his voice which Lexie didn't think it was possible it could come out from a complete stranger. "I'm not gonna lie, I did feel the need to check if you're alright."

Her lips curved into a smile as her liking and fondness towards him grew every second, with every incoming word that fell off his lips. "And as much as I understand Meredith's reaction and resentment... I understand you too." he told her, slowly vocalizing the last few words. "But you're right. I guess there's really nothing I can do except asking you to maybe give her some time. And another chance. And I promise I'll try to put some sense into her head as well. The truth is, she's not an easy person."

"Some time..." Lexie repeated that part of his request with a heavy sigh, "...you mean like two days before you leave back to Seattle?" she asked, her tone somehow mocking and defeated at the same time.

"Who knows, maybe... two days are enough."

"Wow... optimistic." she exclaimed, widening her eyes at him in surprise. "But okay, I guess... And thank you. Really."

Lexie stared at him for a second, before pushing her empty glass aside. Then raising her eyebrows at him with a small smirk, she happily stated. "You're a fixer. Like... that kind of person who always takes care of everyone else. I mean you don't even know me, but you had to check on me. I really appreciate that." she explained, her eyes sparkling with a sudden ease and comfort she hasn't felt the whole day.

"I guess I am." Derek chucked, smiling back at her for a moment, before his lips unreasonably again became a straight line.

Lexie frowned, noticing the strange change on his face, and then the flatness in his voice as well, as he announced "I'm heading back to the hotel now. It was nice meeting you, Lexie."

Her eyes followed him in confusion, as he hopped off the stool and started pulling on his coat in a rush, wondering... What the hell just happened? What changed? He was all smiley and relaxed until just a second ago. She almost opened her mouth to ask if everything was okay, but whatever she had wanted to say died on her lips when something else at the other side of the bar gathered her full attention. Or rather someone else.

Mark Sloan, who just walked in, casually strode his way across the bar and sat down alone in one of the empty corner booths. Lexie turned back to Derek, who was just about to leave, and before she got a chance to stop it... non-existing inner filter's fault... a blunt assumption left her mouth. "Is it because of him? Are you avoiding him?"

Derek stood rooted in the spot for a moment, raising his eyebrows at her. Lexie shrugged a little as she spoke, "What? I'm not blind."

After a short hesitating silence, he firmly admitted, "Yes, I am."

"Why?"

"You went pretty fast from not wanting to talk to me to questioning me about my life." he stated, but still without any sign of anger in his tone. More like he was actually delighted she finally felt comfortable enough to share a real talk with him.

But not this talk. "It's a long story..." Derek spoke quietly, lightly biting his lower lip. "We were best friends and well... now we're not."

Without asking anything further, Lexie forced a tiny smile in order to apologize for being so blunt. That much she could do. At least that was what she told herself as Derek turned around to leave.

What fell off her tongue next was not another of her non-existing inner filter's mistakes. In fact, she double-checked every word. She wasn't even sure how she managed to do that in a such short time, but the whole sentence in her head sounded just about right.

"Derek..." she called after him, purposely using his name in order to prove she indeed listened to him. Lexie waited for him to turn around and then spoke, "He looked out for me, you know? Ever since I started the internship."

Grimace on his face changed a bit, as he tried to understand what exactly meant her declaration, and to actually connect it with the person he knew she was talking about. But in Derek's mind... there was no connection. Mark Sloan... looking after the interns... not the Mark Sloan that he knew. "Unfortunately, I find that really hard to believe." Derek replied, earning a disappointed look on her face, but shortly after, flat disappointment turned into the fiery determination as she persisted, "And I find hard to believe that Meredith will ever want to have something with me... I'm just saying... Maybe you should take your own advice. I don't know what it is about, but if I can try to fix things with Meredith once again, maybe you should try to fix things with him."

Derek was left speechless, bluntly staring at the young woman in front of him. Suddenly he had a million things to ask her, starting with why the hell she cared so much to how truthful her statement about Mark really was and what exactly she meant by that... He glanced for a second at Mark all across the bar, before his eyes came to focus on her again.

"You felt the need to check on me because of what Meredith said to me today. Yesterday he did the exact same thing." she stated in a low voice, ignorant of the red color that occupied her cheeks at the thought. "Because I haven't showed on the surgery."

Take your own advice. She just beat him at his own game.

He looked at Mark again. His best friend since they were kids.

Derek genuinely tried to hate him. He tried to forget about his existence. But how can you forget the last 30 years of your life? How can you forget about the person who was a constant part of your life since you could remember?

Tilting his head down and grinning to himself for a second in revelation, Derek finally spoke, "You're not so bad fixer yourself, Lexie."

Shyly tossing her hair over her shoulder, Lexie chuckled, turned towards the bar counter again and ordered another drink, smirking to herself as Derek decided he was not going back to the hotel right away after all...

...

Lexie read once that when people in America notice they've developed issues falling asleep, most of the time, their first reaction is to have a drink. To use alcohol to help them fall asleep. And that, predictably, very rarely ended up being a good idea. Even though alcohol could manage to get you sleepy and tired, you'll probably wake up still feeling like that.

And that was the worst part. She knew better. She was aware that she knew better. But however, even considering that Derek and his promise managed to cheer her up a little bit, that wasn't enough to stop her from ordering two more margaritas.

With every incoming minute she'd felt more and more dizzy, she'd rubbed her eyes more and more frequently, and all the voices and sounds around her had become louder and louder.

The sudden crashing sound of breaking glass startled her for a moment, and even though she knew that smashing glasses by accident was something that was happening on a daily basis at the bars, Lexie could help but to remember something else. The identical shattering sound thundered at her house in Seattle a few times as well. The loudest one was probably that one time when her father dropped the whole bottle of scotch. Sharp crystals of glass, as well as the golden liquid were spread out all over the living room floor. Of course, she was the one who cleaned up the mess…

Checking the time on her phone, it wasn't a surprise seeing it was almost midnight. It was almost midnight, which only meant she had to be at the hospital in less than six hours. Probably with a big headache.

She was just about to slid down her barstool... when no one else, but Mark Sloan leaned against the bar counter just a few feet far from her. He had that proud smirk all over his face with a corner of his lip twitched just high enough, which Lexie took as a sign of apparently very good talk with Derek.

She blamed both, the weight of the last few days, as well as just a little bit higher level of alcohol in her system, for giving herself permission to gaze at him so evidently.

But she couldn't help it.

Lexie still hasn't apologized about missing his surgery. Well, she was busy chasing and stalking Meredith around the hospital, so she didn't even think about that. The ball of quilt was still settled in her stomach because of it. It felt strange when she realized that the fact she still hasn't apologized wasn't the exact reason she felt so delighted when she saw him. She hasn't seen him all day.

"Hey man, another scotch please?" was what he uttered.

She rolled her eyes at his order. Biting the inside of cheek hard, she swallowed, but the tightening feeling in her chest was still there. She watched how the bartender put the rock glass on the counter, and then quickly filled it.

She realized there was something. Something about him, something on his face, something in his motions, something in his attitude, that always made her feel bolder around him. She just wasn't sure if that was a good or a bad thing.

"Did you know that…" she started in a broken whisper, hating the way the words got caught in her throat on the way out. "…that children who have one parent who is alcoholic have at least three to four times increased risk of becoming alcoholics themselves?" she uttered and then paused, watching his reaction...

...

Mark heard everything.

Just a few minutes ago. He was still trying to process it all. Cause it was a lot... A LOT to process. About Meredith, about her mother, about the hiccups… Derek didn't hesitate on details. About her father's drinking habits as well. About his constant visits to the ER.

During those 30 minutes he'd just spent with Derek he went through a whole rollercoaster of emotions. At first, he was surprised. But delighted. He'd almost given up on even trying to talk to him, thinking Derek apparently still wasn't ready. Mark was prepared for that. He was prepared for another bunch of weeks or months of not talking, of telling himself he should give him more time no matter how self-destructive that would be.

"I just wanted to say thank you."

Derek approached him with those simple words. It sounded polite, in the professional way polite, so Mark tried not to make a big deal of it. He lifted his eyes off the sport article in the newspaper and caught a sight of his best friend sitting down right across him. "It was a risky surgery and not everyone would back me up on doing it. So thank you... for backing me up."

"It's what I do."

They ordered two glasses of scotch. And it felt like they never even stopped talking. Derek talked about Seattle and about Meredith. She still hesitated about their relationship. Mark talked about New York…

"I must say your reputation around here is not as bad as I thought it would be..." Derek chuckled at the mention of the hospital.

"Ohhh it's pretty bad. You have no idea..." Mark replied with a mockingly proud smile and took another swig of his scotch. That wasn't a secret.

"With a few slight exceptions, I guess."

"What do you mean?"

"I actually heard a few nice and respectful words about you." Derek explained after a short pause, just so he could keep him in suspense.

Mark tried not to laugh out loud hearing that. The thought of it was completely ridiculous. It was... weird. Abnormal. He was not the kind of person about whom other people talked nicely and respectfully... Maybe when he comes to his surgeries, but even about that, there was no person who would speak about him respectfully out loud. "You're kidding? From whom?"

Then Derek mentioned Lexie.

He mentioned how bad Meredith's reaction was.

"Reaction to what?" Mark asked, narrowing his eyebrows as confusion crossed his face.

"Ohhh... you don't know."

...

Something in his chest ached as he looked at Lexie. The malty taste in his mouth transformed into pure bitterness. All the anguish and hurt he was now aware she was feeling, all the pain was practically oozing from her.

"Just stating the facts." she continued, unsuccessfully trying to sound casual and unaffected, like it was just a simple comment about the weather. "I read a lot about it. There is also a research that... has shown that adult children of alcoholics often report higher levels of stress and tend to have a... more difficult time coping with stress."

Mark was tongue-tied. Not because of the way she openly talked about it. He already experienced that. The last time he mocked her because of it. The last time he was angry because of it. When she brought up her ex, when she rambled out what happened between them. He didn't know any other way of how to react. He didn't know now either.

Lexie let the silence linger as long as she could possibly physically and mentally handle it, telling herself that the tender, pity look in his eyes was enough, that he didn't have to say anything, that it wasn't the place for him to say anything, even though she deep down hoped he would... and then she shook her head, muttering in embarrassment, "I'm sorry… Oh God, I'm so sorry…"

A quiet hysterical laugh escaped her mouth as she quickly threw some cash on the counter, finally ready to leave. Like she should've a long time ago.

She landed on her feet in a hurry, and lightheaded feeling just increased as she stood up, for a second losing her balance and apparently forgetting about the term known as gravity. The only reason why she didn't end up stumbling to the floor was the firm grip around her waist that kept her in place.

Luckily, Mark Sloan had quick reflexes.

"Woahhh… You're okay?" The chuckle he let out was low and soft, and close enough that she felt his warm breath ghost over her cheek. His hands were on her sides and she tried not to focus on how tightly and securely he held her in that moment.

Lexie stood still for a second, without blinking, holding her breath, not being able to utter one single word. One of her hands was holding onto his upper arm, and the strong, define muscles underneath the material of his shirt were impossible not to feel. Lifting her head to gaze up at him, she managed to breath out in a shaky voice, "Fine. I'm fine. Thank you. Just… the bartender guy… was really nice to me tonight." A big sigh of exhaustion fell out of her lips as she added, "Unlike some other people. But you heard about that, I guess."

Mark did his best not to gasp out loud in disappointment as she stepped back out of his embrace. She was clearly flustered, as the color of her cheeks turned into that bright red tone he was already familiar with. And that already on many occasions made him fuzzy with desire. But once again, he found himself unable to do anything. He just stood frozen, except the word frozen was the total opposite of how he actually felt. He was literally burning. God, what was happening to him?

He licked his lips, letting go of her hips. The moment he did so, his palms felt like on fire. Mark clutched his hands into fists trying to make that feeling go away and swallowed when it didn't, watching her as she turned to the bartender, "Excuse me, can you please call me a cab?"

Hearing that, Mark waited a second for her to turn back towards him, and giving his voice intentionally a low, husky tone exclaimed the first time that came up in his mind, "I can give you a ride home."

Stunned, she was speechless for a long moment. She slowly opened her mouth, but whatever she wanted to say died on her tongue, while Mark continued, "If you want. It's okay, I had only one drink."

He tried to sound polite and appropriate, but everything that was going on inside his head at that moment was not near appropriate. In his mind, she was already in his car, and yes, he was taking her home, but the vision didn't end there. It wasn't even close to ending. The ending would feature all of her clothes on the floor, as well as his, and her petite body trapped beneath him…

"Uhhh…" Her little, but genuine laugh made him blink a few times and brought him back to the real world, reminding him that the woman he fantasized about stood right in front of him. "I really can't let myself ruin your evening."

He wanted to insist. But she had more than one drink. She had more than a few, in fact. So his attempts of persisting disappeared, and he decided to let her go home by herself.

"I'm sorry I missed your surgery." Her sudden apologize sounded like a soft, but honest whisper. Mark nodded in accepting it, as he quietly warned her, "Just don't get used to it, Little Grey."

"Sorry?"

"I said don't get used to it."

"Not that…" she smiled at his misunderstanding, "…how did you just call me?"

"Little Grey." Mark gently emphasized those two words, smirking at her. "Since I found out there's apparently a Big one too. Plus, it suits you. Little..." he added, slightly hesitating in fear that the mention of Meredith would wash away the beautiful smile of her face, which was unbelievably hard to reveal that evening.

It was impossible not to notice that, cause she always had a smile on her face. God, he could notice her smiling even under the mask during surgery...

So it felt relieving, when he saw it was still there, as much as it felt relieving when he heard the words that signified her fondness towards the new nickname. "I like it."

Hope you enjoyed this chapter… Don't get too excited, but rating's changing into M from the next one… Nothing's happening yet, but you'll see... smirk smirk... Reviews are always appreciated...