So, let's get this out of the way early. Yes, this is just before the Chuunin Exam Arc. But what does this mean for the Wave Arc?

It means that the Wave Arc isn't happening. At least, not in this fic.

Let me explain to you how many times I've written the Wave Arc. Four times. I've written that arc four times already, and I am honestly through with it. I thought relentlessly on how I could include it in this fic and nothing I ever thought of could fill that gap adequately. Naruto needs to set up in order to make his pranks work, and I can never think of a situation where he could adequately do that against Zabuza believably. He could maybe set up the bridge before the final battle, but I could never imagine Tazuna allowing him to set potentially lethal and destructive pranks on his unfinished bridge.

Not that many of them would even work against either Haku or Zabuza in the first place.

Beyond all of that, I am just bored of it. How many times have you guys read the Wave Arc, already? I know that it's a pivotal moment for Naruto and Sasuke, but come on. It's just so done.

So I skipped it. Team 7 does go to Wave and they do handle Zabuza, Naruto just isn't there when they do. Someone else is. You've already met her. Don't worry about her too much. Maybe I'll tell you about her more later, but for now she's just floating around in my head, fucking things up on the sly. The point is, Wave happened.

So here we are. Chuunin Exam prelude. Lots of interesting stuff happening. You'll see more of that whole, "Naruto needs to be able to set up his pranks in order to fight back."

On another note, NovaWars. Good to see you again. You've been following me across fics. I really appreciate that. "A Second Journey" is updating... soon.

"It took you nearly four weeks to return," the elderly Hokage said. He held his pipe to his lips as he talked, with every other word drawing a puff of smoke from his mouth. "Kakashi recovered weeks ago. We didn't even need you to bring her back anymore."

Off in the corner of the room, Sasuke and Sakura were being tended to by a wholly uninterested Kakashi. His finger tapped at the pocket strapped to his left knee, the same one that Naruto knew contained his adult literature. He seemed hesitant to take it out, however, and Naruto also knew the reason for that. She was currently blitzed on the other side of the room.

"Listen, I never said that I would get her back in time. I just said that I would get her back, and that she could be able to heal him faster. As far as I'm concerned, I've completed both parts of my end of the deal, so you need to do the same. Pay up."

Behind him, sprawled out on the couch located off to the side of the Hokage's office, Tsunade cackled. The bottle in her hand was almost as long as her torso, but the Sannin didn't seem to mind its weight in the slightest. The clear liquid inside of it sloshed messily as she damn near cradled it in her arms.

Shizune, who sat on the edge of the couch, looked about as exasperated as a person could be.

"We both know that you have failed in the spirit of the mission. Were this a real scenario you would have cost people their lives."

"I don't remember us having to appeal to some mystical mission spirit, gramps. Besides, we both know that, had any important lives been in danger, that I would have acted differently. You're splitting hairs. Fulfill your end of the bargain."

The two, elder and child, glared at one another as if the other's very presence had irritated them more than anything else in the world. After a minute of this, they broke eye contact. Hiruzen reached into his drawer and pulled out a folder.

It was thicker than his head.

"Holy—" Sakura started, but Kakashi placed a hand on her shoulder. The pinkette looked as if she wanted to continue, but she refrained from doing so.

"Is that my criminal record?" Naruto asked. A golden eyebrow quirked. "Huh, smaller than I thought it would be."

To that, Hiruzen quirked his own eyebrow. He opened the folder, which was labelled alphabetically, then isolated a certain section. Instead of crimes, however, it was just more categories.

"This is your index, Naruto," Hiruzen said. "We use it when we have to categorize your crimes. Your real criminal record is kept in sub-basement 3."

"I wasn't aware we had a sub-basement 3."

"We didn't. We created it when you blew up sub-basement 2, and we no longer had a place to keep all your records. We figured that as long as you didn't know they existed; you wouldn't try to blow them up again."

Naruto nodded, the idea making perfect sense to him.

"I will admit, it will be nice to have an entire floor of the establishment open to use for something other than keeping track of your various crimes. Just… please… don't get into enough trouble to warrant the need for it again."

That Naruto didn't answer, instead choosing the smirk wildly, was something that unnerved Hiruzen to no end. Still, a promise was a promise, and having Tsunade back in the village was something that bolstered their forces immensely.

Hiruzen turned to the tome and activated a low-level fire technique. It set the pages aflame, and soon there was nothing left of it besides the soot marks on his desk.

"You may take the rest of the day off, Naruto. If I have to think about you at all during that time, I'm arresting you for treason."

Naruto cackled, but didn't argue the threat. He was on his feet in a second and out the door in the next.

"Wait, wasn't he supposed to train with us?" Sakura asked. Emerald eyes darted around the room, but could find no trace of the orange ninja.

Kakashi sighed. "He's already missed practice for the last couple of weeks. What's another one?"

XxX

To say that Naruto was intrigued as to the urgency of his ward's summons would be an understatement. Throughout the entire time that the two knew each other, there was only ever one instance where the Fox would actually demand something.

And that was to get away from an Uchiha.

So, to have Kurama all but rush him towards something instead of away from it was a welcome, if unexpected, change.

"Are you going to clue me in… ever?" Naruto asked. His sandals made dull thuds in the rooftop tiles as he bounced across them. The people on the streets below blurred by in a stream of indistinguishable colors.

For a while, the fox stayed silent. It wasn't until they were a few street blocks ahead that he responded. "I sense a disturbance in the force."

Naruto, surprised, almost landed wrong. He twisted on his foot at the last second in order to regain his balance, before pushing off to the next roof.

"You, uh, want to elaborate?" Naruto asked. He heard chuckling in his head, and that was never a good sign.

"One of my siblings is here, brat. And would you believe it? It's my dear, stupid, youngest brother."

Naruto took a second to digest that information. Once he turned it over in his head a few times, he asked, "weren't you all born at the same time? Shouldn't you be the same age?"

"Shh," the Fox shushed. "You're thinking too hard, brat. And we both know what happens when you try to think."

"Our plans actually work for once and we don't get into massive heaps of trouble that we then have to get into more trouble in order to fix?"

"That's right," the Fox said, "you hurt yourself. So, do me a favor and leave the thinking to adults. We have to remind the world of the pecking order and put my youngest brother in his place."

Naruto rolled his eyes but continued his sprint. Apparently, the Tailed Beasts had this mystical way of finding each other in the world. Naruto wasn't quite sure how it worked, but then again, he wasn't a gigantic creature made from pure chakra. Eventually, he had reached an old dirt path cutting through one of the less industrialized parts of the village. A wooden fence ran on both sides of it, separating the path from the more untamed wildlife that surrounded it. In the middle of the path stood two children that were about Naruto's age— one boy and one girl. The boy, who was wearing some kind of all black getup and makeup, was holding a flailing toddler in his hands.

"Isn't that the Hokage's grandson?" Naruto asked. The Fox snorted.

"All you humans look alike to me. None of them have Shukaku in them so none of them are important."

Naruto, not able to find the flaw in the logic, almost zipped right over them. Of course, that was when the host of Shukaku decided to grace the scene. Sand exploded from the ground, morphing and shifting until it formed the vague shape of a boy just a bit shorter than Naruto. After a few seconds the boy's features became more defined, until finally the sand fell away to reveal a red-haired boy with teal eyes.

"That boy could glare a baby to silence," Naruto thought.

"I wouldn't be happy if I had Shukaku in my head, either. Go down there and say hello."

Naruto nodded, then changed course. When he landed on the road it was to three shaking children and a lot of killing intent.

"What's going on, here?" Naruto asked. Four pairs of eyes moved to stare at him, though only one pair seemed happy to see him.

"Naruto!" Konohamaru, the grandson of the Third Hokage, screamed. He jumped up from his position on the ground, and all but tackled Naruto's legs. He was probably four years old, or something, and as such he weighed practically nothing. Both tears and snot were running down his face, and all of that combined were garbling his words. "These… these… these…!"

Naruto patted the boy's head. Konohamaru leaned into his touch. "It's okay, Honorable Grandson…"

"You know I hate it when you call me that."

"… just leave these punks to me!"

Naruto walked forward; eyes trained on a single person.

"Why are you looking at the freak with the make-up? Your target is the freak with the seal on his forehead."

"His make-up is just… so good… Imagine all of the pranks I could do with that level of precision!"

"Focus, brat!"

XxX

There was something… off… about the boy that was approaching him. Most people, when met with Mother's overwhelming presence, would cower and shy away. It was what happened with his siblings, who even now were groveling at his feet. It happened with the small child that was still shaking behind the blonde boy.

But, for some reason, the blonde boy himself was unaffected. His eyes, bluer than the midday sky, were focused entirely on his own. They didn't waver, they didn't dart away. No, those blue orbs kept eye contact for the entire time as the blonde boy approached. Not even his father, the Kazekage and one of the five strongest ninja in the world, was able to do such a thing.

Gaara was unsure how to process this being.

"Gaara," Temari, his older sister, asked. She looked up at him from where she cowered pathetically on the ground. "There's something weird about this kid."

Gaara turned his attention back to the blonde kid. On that, he could agree. The pressure that the boy was giving off was immense. The way he moved was so assured that Gaara was certain that even Jonin would falter before the boy. Whoever he was, he was strong. With skills and abilities that would push even a veteran to their limits.

Gaara smiled. "He will be the one to prove my existence!"

In his peripheral, Gaara could see his siblings shake in fear, but that hardly mattered to him. He had a new target, a new way to prove that he mattered, and he wasn't going to let it get away from him. Especially not when it was walking so deliciously towards its death.

"Slaughter him," his mother cooed. Her voice was, as usual, an raspy, ethereal whisper in his ears. "Slaughter him and let his blood nurture my sands!"

Gaara nodded. He raised his hand, and the several tons of sand that heeded his beck and call rose to comply with his demands.

Today was a good day.

XxX

"Whoa," Naruto thought as he approached. "Is he controlling the sand?"

The Fox answered, but not until after a few seconds. "Hm? Oh, yeah. Right. Shukaku does that. Just blow it away with a swipe of your tails or something."

"Fox, I know that you're not the most up to date on human anatomy, but we don't have tails."

The Kyuubi grunted. "I'm working on that."

Naruto blinked, but knew better than to ask. Instead, he shook his arm, and a pellet fell from his sleeve and into his cupped palm, out of sight of his maniacally grinning counterpart.

"You better know what you're doing, fox."

"Shush, child! I'm working!"

"You…" the redheaded boy said. His smile was so wide that Naruto could see far more teeth than he was comfortable with. "… you… will prove my existence."

The words stopped Naruto short. He hesitated, for just a second, before continuing his slow gait. "And what is that supposed to mean?"

"It means stop walking up to the psychopath, dumbass!" the makeup boy said. Before Naruto had a chance to look at him, however, the sand swirling in the air grabbed him. After locking him in a vice grip, it lifted him up and threw him away. The girl wasted no time after seeing that feat. She quickly fled as well.

"And now there are no distractions. Are you ready to die?" the redhead asked. His chest visibly heaved with every breath he took, and his sand, agitated already, vibrated with that same rhythm.

Naruto, once again, stopped. He was at least a few meters away from the boy now, and his sand occasionally spasmed to mere feet from where he was standing.

Despite this, Naruto smiled. Unlike his counterpart, the smile was jovial. "I'd rather not die today, thank you."

The redhead laughed. It was a twisted thing— rising and falling in both pitch and volume. It cut off abruptly before starting again, as if the boy wasn't in complete control of his own emotions.

"But that's where you're mistaken. You don't have a choice in the matter. You're going to die, today!"

The sand shot forward. Thousands upon thousands of miniscule grains of gold slithered through the air as if snakes. They covered the distance in seconds.

Naruto continued to smile.

XxX

There was a bang, and Gaara flinched as a flash of light engulfed the area. His sand stopped, frozen in the air as if arrested by some invisible force, then fled back to him. It curled around him, almost protectively, before snaking out cautiously.

"W-what?" Gaara asked. His eyes opened slowly, still partway blinded by the sudden flash. "Where did he…?"

"Flashbang," the infuriating blonde said, though he was still nowhere to be found. "With chakra, you can make one easily and effectively! I started making them when I was five. Haven't looked back since."

"Come out, coward!" Gaara yelled. His sand lashed out, striking at the fragile wooden fences and reducing them to little more than splinters. "Fight me like a man!"

The boy tsked. His voice echoed around the area, but Gaara could not pinpoint the location. No matter where he turned the boy's voice seemed to come from everywhere at once. "Toxic masculine stereotypes will only get you killed in the ninja world. I fight like a winner, and if that means fighting like a woman, child, man, boy or coward, then I will. Try to catch me."

Something whistled in the air behind him. Gaara turned, only to see his sand rush in front of him. It turned, showing him a pebble the size of the tip of his finger. Gaara scowled.

"Is this your best?" he roared. The blonde chuckled.

"Catch me and find out."

XxX

Naruto smiled, though it was uneasy. The boy he was tasked with pranking was unhinged to say the least.

"Are you sure that this is a good idea?" Naruto asked. He was perched on the roof of a building, a low-level Wind technique bouncing his voice around. A ninja tool was draped around his shoulders, reflecting the light and making him appear as if he was invisible. To an observant looker, his disguise was easily circumvented. His target, however, was not an observant looker. He was on the ground and several blocks away. He wouldn't be able to spot Naruto if he tried.

Still, Naruto wasn't any less worried. That Gaara dude was bad news. The chakra he gave off was seriously malicious, and it was only exposure to his own tenant's vile chakra that he was able to weather it at all.

"I'm positive. Once we're done here, Shukaku will be so embarrassed."

"You're risking my life to embarrass your little brother. That's what we're doing?"

"You've risked my life to get revenge on stupider things, and I've never complained."

Unfortunately, Naruto couldn't deny that. He turned his attention back to his insane counterpart, only to see him tearing into the surrounding fencing. Luckily, Naruto had already evacuated Konohamaru during the flashbang. If he hadn't, the poor boy would be a red smear across the dirt.

"Speaking of red smears, we should probably bait Shukaku into someplace with a little less collateral damage. If he goes too wild and hurts someone, he could be arrested before we have a chance to prank him!"

Naruto rolled his eyes. "For a second there, I was concerned that you were actually worried about the people."

"I don't consider your kind 'people.'"

Naruto rolled his eyes, then sprung from his hiding place. He tossed another rock and, this time, the little monster was quick to catch on.

"There you are! Come back here! Prove my existence!"

Naruto, who had already started his journey to one of his favorite training grounds, almost stopped just for the sake of it. Rational thought soon resumed, however, and he continued his journey. Gaara was quick to pursue.

"I wonder if that has ever worked?" Naruto pondered. "Asking someone to stop? I'm sure that it had to have, at least once."

"Are your thoughts ever productive?" the Fox asked.

"Are yours ever helpful?"

XxX

Perhaps, Gaara mused, he was wrong about this one. Where before the blonde pest seemed so interesting and strong, now he seemed no better than a fly. He flitted across the rooftops at a speed that Gaara was hard pressed to match. After a few minutes of chase, the redhead was forced to resort to letting his sand carry him after his prey.

He tried not to use this mode of transportation, as it was tiresome, but he couldn't let his prey escape, not after he had already claimed it. To do so would imply weakness, and the weak didn't deserve to exist.

Gaara would keep existing. He was strong, and thus he deserved to exist. Killing this fly, as evasive as it was, would prove his existence. He pushed himself a little harder.

The fly, upon noticing that he was gaining, sped up as well. It ran to a gate, a rather large one, and in a single bound hopped over it. Gaara didn't see it land on the other side, but he knew that it was over there. He tipped his hand, and his sand obliged. He was up and over the fence in moments.

"I… will prove… my existence!" Gaara muttered.

"Yes," his mother cooed. "Rend him asunder!"

XxX

"Hey fox?" Naruto asked. He pressed his hand into a nearby tree, effectively tagging it with his chakra. A blue handprint glowed on the bark for a few seconds before fading away. It didn't do anything beyond serve as a waypoint, but that was all that he needed.

"Didn't I tell you that I was busy?" the Fox asked. Still, Naruto felt the grumpy old vulpine's consciousness. He was paying attention.

"Yes, yes," Naruto said, essentially waving off the Fox's ire. Behind him, he could hear the unmistakable sounds of Gaara's sand tendrils destroying the trees of the Forest of Death. "I just wanted to let you know that I hate you. I hate everything about you. I even hate the color of your fur."

The wind howled, and Naruto pulled himself flush against the trunk of a tree. Bullets made entirely of sand zipped past him with all the speed of something trying to kill him. Naruto watched as they passed, waited a few seconds to make sure that the barrage was over, then sprinted off into a different direction. He listened as Gaara continued on a path that he assumed Naruto was still going.

Then the forest went silent. Naruto didn't stop running, however. In just a few seconds—

"I see you!" the beast roared. The sound of crushing and tearing bark resonated throughout the normally dangerous forest once more.

"You love me," the Fox finally responded, either wholly ignorant of the deadly game of cat and mouse that his jailer was being forced to play, or uncaring. "And you're going to love me more once I'm done with what I'm doing. I would appreciate it if you let me do that."

Wind howling. Naruto ducked. Sand bullets rushed past once more, embedding themselves into the wood of the tree that Naruto was standing on.

"Whatever you're doing better be worth it!" Naruto growled. He shook his sleeve and was relieved when another flashbang pellet fell into his hand. So, he still had some more.

"It will be. Trust me. Just promise that you'll let it happen when I'm done."

Naruto frowned. "You're nowhere near trustworthy enough to get me to make that promise."

"… I have never steered you wrong for the entirety of the time we've known each other."

Naruto didn't choose to dignify that with a response. He waited for a few seconds, then flipped backwards in his sprint through the tree branches. As soon as he did, Gaara exploded from below him. Now half covered in sand, he looked akin to some sort of monster.

Naruto, rather than take even a second to absorb this new information, simply threw his flashbang. The beast, expecting to launch a surprise attack, was wholly unprepared for Naruto's own.

Gaara roared, his untransformed arm grasping at his tightly closed eyes. Naruto nodded at his handiwork, then continued deeper into the forest.

For a minute, there was silence in Naruto's mind.

"… You've always survived the few times that I have steered you wrong."

"That isn't an excuse!"

XxX

Gaara was quickly growing tired of this chase. The blonde fly, as weak as it was, was crafty. Every time that Gaara came close to catching it, it would employ some other cowardly trick to escape. Once, it used a chakra pulse that it embedded in a branch. The foothold exploded, plunging Gaara down to the forest floor. Luckily, he was quick-witted, and he allowed himself to transform. His sand arm, large and monstrous, was strong enough to stretch and grab a different branch. Using it, he hoisted himself up in almost no time at all.

By that time, however, the fly had already flitted off. It moved as silently as the air, somehow, and it took Gaara sending out his third eye— a sand eye that he could freely control and see through—to find him again.

From then it was more of the same. Gaara would catch up and the fly would employ some trick. Gaara would be immobilized, and then the fly would run off somewhere where Gaara couldn't see it. Gaara would then use his third eye, find the fly, and the chase would be on again.

This was too much. Gaara wanted his blood.

"Let me free!" his mother demanded. Her roars bashed against his skull. Gaara had to stop his rampage in order to grasp at the mind-splitting pain. "I can kill him for us!"

"N-no, mother… Not yet. We aren't supposed to let you free until—"

"I don't care about the whims of man!" his mother howled. "I just want his blood! Are you so weak that you cannot deliver it to me?"

Gaara froze, his nerves running cold as the thought that constantly haunted the very edge of his mind was brought to the forefront. Him? Weak? No. No, no, no. He couldn't be weak. He couldn't be weak. He couldn't be weak!

Rage erupted from somewhere inside of him. Chakra so potent that it was visible to the naked eye whipped around him like sand in a sandstorm, before striking outwards in all directions. One of his eyes, the one on the same side that was slowly being consumed by sand, turned dark, with his irises changing to a brilliant gold.

"I… am not weak. I… will prove my existence!"

XxX

Naruto was finally getting into the groove of this little game when the rules suddenly changed.

"Holy shit, Fox. Do you feel that?"

His question was met with silence. Naruto, used to the Fox's whims, didn't wait for very long. He tagged another tree, then quickly took stock of his surroundings. As usual, there was nothing but leaves and vegetation everywhere. The Forest of Death, a training ground notorious for its lethal environments, was usually chock full of dangerous predators and fauna. Today, however, Naruto couldn't find even one of the normally aggressive creatures. He spotted a few of the man-eating plants, but they were all tucked away, their petals and leaves curled inwards as if hiding.

Considering the amount of destruction that him and his pursuer were wrecking, it was only logical for everything to be hiding. Feeling what he was feeling now, Naruto would hide away too, if he could.

"Fox," Naruto repeated, but in his head. There was no one around to hear him, but Gaara's bestial roar had stilled the air in the forest. It seemed as if nothing dared to move for fear of upsetting the new apex predator. "Fox, I know that you felt that. I felt that, and I'm not a sensor type. Whatever you have me fighting, it just took off its damn kiddy gloves. Get me a plan or I'm getting out of here!"

Destruction started again, and Naruto cursed as he looked to the sky. An eye, again, made of sand, floated just above the highest branches. Naruto fished out a kunai and threw it. It sailed true, striking the eye and dispersing it. It was too late, though. The monster knew where he was.

"Fox!" Naruto yelled. That got a reaction.

"Five minutes!" the Fox shouted. He was finally sounding as panicked as Naruto felt. "Hold out for five minutes, and everything will be golden!"

"This goes a little beyond the parameters of a prank, Kurama! Your little brother is trying to kill me!"

"He's trying to kill us," the Fox corrected. "I'm as deep in this shit as you are! We can't back out now. Might as well ride this fucked up roller coaster to the end!"

Naruto nodded, before focusing his chakra. The chakra tags he left everywhere glowed, and he had a vague sense of where they all were. They resonated in what was vaguely a line from the outer edge of the forest.

"Then… that means that the center is this way." Naruto turned. Fortunately, the monster wasn't between him and his destination. Unfortunately, it was still closing far faster than he would have liked. The sound of chaos and destruction was quickly getting louder. At the rate it was going, it would be on top of him in less than a minute.

Naruto took a deep breath. "Well, I always did say that I'd go out swinging." He then braced himself and pushed off the branch. He was already starting to tire, but now was not the time to complain.

He had a prank to finish.

XxX

"He's nearby! I can smell the fear in his blood!"

"We will feast soon, mother! We will prove our existence!"

XxX

"Fox. I'm scared. I'm just going to come out and say it. I'm terrified of what is going to happen next."

Naruto flinched when another concussive blast of wind was launched at him. Quick blue eyes scanned the forest, and he managed to find another target. Deft fingers spelled out the hand signs needed for the Substitution technique and, after a moment of disorienting nausea, he was safely switched with a spider that was nearly bigger than he was.

That spider was now nothing more than green viscera spread across several branches, but better it than him, right?

"Three more minutes, brat. Just three more!"

Naruto cursed. It had only been two minutes? The demon was chasing him for what seemed like forever, and Naruto wanted nothing more than to curl in a ball and hide somewhere. Unfortunately, when he tried that, the crazy thing just leveled the whole area.

"Can't you hurry this up?" Naruto asked. Sand bullets whizzed through the air towards him and, unable to do anything else, Naruto brought up his arms. He coated them with as thick a layer of chakra as he could—an act that was more brute forcing chakra into his arms than anything with a modicum of finesse—and braced himself.

The resulting impact hurt like hell, but at least he still had his arms. He shook the pain out of them, most of it due to him forcing an absurd amount of chakra to someplace it shouldn't be, and took off once more. He was catching glimpses of Gaara every so often, meaning that the little psychopath was nearly on top of him.

"If I could, don't you think that I would've by now? I've been going on overdrive since the stupid raccoon started shooting bullets at you!"

"That was nearly half an hour ago!"

"You're exaggerating!"

"Maybe so, but I'm the one fighting for my life, here, so I would appreciate some sympathy for my gross exaggeration of the facts!"

More sand bullets came, but this time Naruto was out of ways to circumvent them. He was too tired to muster up enough energy to use a technique and doing that chakra trick again would explode his arms. He tried his best to dodge, curving his body out of the way of the first few. The last two, however, found their mark, and searing pain shot through his shoulder and his side.

"Fuck!" Naruto screamed. He clutched at the wound in his shoulder but didn't stop his run. Behind him the beast was cackling at his first successful shot. The sound sent shivers down his spine. "We're out of time, Fox!"

"One minute!"

"We don't have a minute!" Naruto snarled.

Gaara had caught up. Rather than travel across the branches, he burst through them, shattering the wood across his flank. Now, as close as he was, Naruto was able to see the insanity in the boy's eyes. His pupils, which Naruto swore weren't heterochromia before, were wild and unfocused. Spit trailed from his mouth as he cackled.

"You're mine!" he screamed, his words taking on a deep, double timbre. He raised his large, transformed hand and thrust it forward. Naruto, despite his injuries, managed to toss himself to the side. The jab went overhead, tearing a chunk of the tree out.

"Not this time," Naruto said. His words came out pained and muffled, but he was sure that the crazed predator heard him. He pulled out a flashbang, his last one, and tossed it at the creature. Light filled the trees, and Naruto took the moment of surprise to push himself back to his feet. Just before he managed to escape, however, something wrapped around his ankle.

When Naruto looked down, he was horrified to see that it was sand.

"Not this time!" the beast formerly known as Gaara said. His voice was almost singsong as he said it, alluding to the fact that the bloodthirsty savage was mocking him.

Somehow, that made it scarier.

"This is going to suck."

And suck it did. Gaara heaved, willing his sand to swing Naruto through the air. The blonde braced himself, crossing his good arm over his face. It didn't help much when Gaara decided to let go. Naruto was sent flying, crashing through several branches before his momentum finally bled out. His back hit the trunk of a particularly sturdy tree, knocking the air out of his lungs.

Stars in his eyes, Naruto almost couldn't focus on the incoming pain that was associated with falling face first into the rough bark of a branch.

"Kurama. Everything hurts. I don't think I can make it."

"Thirty seconds, brat! You can do this!"

"I… I can't hold on anymore."

"You're stronger than this, brat! Hold on!"

The branch heaved, the sudden movement dragging Naruto back to the physical world. He opened his eyes, an act that was akin to lifting a mountain, and raised his head.

Stomping towards him was the sandy behemoth itself. Half of Gaara's body was grotesquely large, bulging out farther than his normal body would allow. Deep purple lines ran across the monstrous pseudo-skin, alluding to the inhumanity of it.

Then again, nothing about Gaara seemed entirely human, even when he wasn't half possessed by his Tailed Beast.

"Any last words?" the younger Jinchuuriki asked. He stalked towards the boy, and everything about him seemed threatening.

"I… I lived a good life."

"Don't give up on me now, brat. We've been through far too much to give up now!"

"I… I don't think I have any regrets. Wait, no. I think I would have liked to prank the ANBU one more time."

"Just get him talking, brat! Shukaku is insane, but he's also vain!"

Naruto, having nothing else to do, tried to do just that. He opened his mouth—

Sand filled it as Gaara used his monstrous hand to scoop him off his stomach. His mind blanked as pain exploded through his back for the second time in just as many minutes.

"I've decided that your words are meaningless," Gaara said. Like before, his tone and inflection were shifting constantly. "Worthless words from worthless flies mean nothing." He giggled once more. "Once you prove my existence, you'll finally be worth something!"

The sand holding him to the tree constricted, and it wasn't long until his bones started to crack.

"F-fox," Naruto muttered. Even his thoughts had started to become hazy. As he started to black out, he could vaguely hear the Fox on the edge of his consciousness.

"I'm done!" he shouted. "I'm done, Naruto! Don't resist it, just let it flow through you!"

Naruto, as out of it as he was, couldn't resist whatever it was that the fox was trying to do, anyway. He closed his eyes and allowed whatever it was that was flowing from the fox's part of his soul to "flow."

He was not expecting the warmth. He was also not expecting it to feel so comforting.

XxX

All over the forest, various small, blue handprints gradually darkened. They glowed red for the briefest moment before brightening considerably and turning a hot, iridescent orange.

XxX

For Naruto, it felt like he was on seven different drugs at once. A sense of euphoria unlike any he'd ever felt before washed over his body and drowned away the pain. His nerves seemed to go on overdrive, igniting and cooling and repeating all over again. He could literally feel his wounds mending in real time; skin knitted itself together and blood replenished.

The sand that was constricting him seemed to loosen. He moved his arm—

The sand crumbled before his might as if it were normal sand. Naruto looked at his arm. It wasn't what he expected.

"Fox… what is…"

"That is my power, Naruto. Usually you can't use it because it is far too great and magnificent and—"

"Toxic. It's toxic. You're literally so hateful that your chakra corrodes other people."

"Yes, I am amazing, aren't I?" the Fox continued. "But yes. Usually, my power would be too corrosive for you to use. It took me a while, but I managed to purify some of it. It's not much, but you'll be able to use my full, undiluted power for about the next five minutes. Use it well."

Naruto nodded. He flexed his other arm, and the sand constricting it broke apart as well. Forcing the chakra forward, Naruto released his entire body from his restraints. He landed on the branch in a crouch. Now, out of his bindings, he could feel the way his body was without anything holding him back.

He felt unstoppable.

"Remember, kid. It took me far too long to gather even this much. If you don't settle things in these five minutes, you won't be getting another chance."

Naruto nodded. He flexed his fingers, getting a feel for the way his body moved under the effects of the Fox's chakra, then looked to his opponent. Gaara, who seemed bloodthirsty and maniacal before, was now frozen in place. His eyes seemed to be bulging, and his knees shook.

He was… afraid.

"Five minutes is more than enough," Naruto said. A savage grin split his face. "And I know just what kind of prank I want to do."