[Chapter 4: Pleading The 4th]
"And then, once the jar was full, Elliot grabbed the shrunken down Twilight Sparkle. She fruitlessly struggled and screamed as he lifted her to the jar and dropped her inside, and then screwed the lid as tight as it could go. Once the lid was tight, Elliot turned the burner underneath the jar to its highest setting..." The Turtle ominously read out the awful fic as Velvet's restraints rustled and rattled in her attempts to get free. "Please stop...I can't take it anymore! Who would write such a thing?!" Velvet cried out as she continued to struggle, hoping her restraints would miraculously give out. "Oh Velvet, I'm offended! Here I am takin' time outta my day to read ya such a nice story, and ya actin' like I'm holdin' ya hostage!" The Turtle replied mockingly. "You are holding me hostage you son of a bitch!" Velvet retorted angrily. "Sounds like a poisonal problem." The Turtle replied with a smile, Velvet let out an unamused grumble. "But, anyhoo, we's just getting stahted, I got somethin' here that's gonna blow your mind!"
"Ya see, your escapades have gotten pretty popular these past few years, Velvet. Lotsa people be writin' stories about ya!" The Dark Turtle said as he enthusiastically typed away at his laptop. "Stories? I don't understand, I thought Percival had my name purged from the records!" Velvet asked with concern. "Apparently he didn't do a good enough job! Lotsa' people saw ya walkin' round with those handsome ruffians, and man the things they write about yous gettin' up to!" The Turtle answered excitedly. "Wait, you don't mean-" The concern in Velvet's voice became more evident before she was cut off. "Oh yeas! That swordsman fellow, that Pirate, That pure looking Abbey girl, even that little bo-" The Turtle's taunting was cut off by Velvet kicking the table over, sending the Laptop crashing to the floor, her howls of rage resonated through the station. Even the hardened Special Forces Units residing in the other parts of the station felt their blood freeze solid at the sound of Velvet's primal rage. "WHO THE HELL WRITES THESE THINGS?! WHAT KIND OF SICK BASTARD DEPICTS ME DOING THAT WITH A CHILD?! I'VE NEVER EVEN-" Velvet suddenly stopped herself as her face turned bright red. "Ha! You're poor and a virgin!" The Turtle pointed at Velvet as he burst into laughter. "Shut the hell up!" Velvet growled out. "Oh, don't tell me, you totally have a boyfriend, he just goes to a different school!" The Turtle said mockingly before he burst out laughing again, Velvet groaned in frustration as she struggled in her restraints.
The Turtle knocked the table upright and set the laptop back onto it. "Alrighty, let's see what kinda gold we can find on here!" The Turtle once again began enthusiastically typing away. Looking through the various fics starring Velvet, one piqued the Turtle's attention. "What's this? 'The Chronicles of Velvet: Escape From Brazil', this sounds interestin'" The Turtle curiously clicked on the fic. Something sounded disturbingly familiar about the fanfic's title to Velvet, a pit began to form in her stomach. "Wow, this is absolutely ridiculous! Max Payne? Vuvuzelas? Those are South African instruments! That World Cup loss making Brazilians explode? Does this guy think he's funny or something? Now he's bringing some coked up drug lord into the mix and somehow Nintendo's involved. This guy's sense of humor is beyond saving, who the hell would think this is funny?"
The events the Turtle described lined up perfectly with today's events, there was no mistaking it. The truth opened a book inside her head, the pages exposing the lies. Words on a screen controlling her and the world around her, a complete stranger molding fate to their own liking without adhering to any kind of standard, the paranoid feeling of her every move being watched by an untold number of people. She was in a fanfiction, funny as hell it was the most horrible thing she could think of.
"Wait! N-No! This can't be!" The Turtle's eyes widened as he read the next chapter of the fanfic that described the scene in front of him. He became even more panicked when he realized that he had reacted exactly as the fanfic described he would. His eyes quickly darted to the line below, the one that described how while he was distracted, Velvet had managed to finally break her restraints and was currently charging directly at him. "WHAT?! OH F-" The Turtle tried desperately to react in time, but as it was described in the fanfiction, it was too late, and Velvet's punch sent him flying into the wall behind him, knocking him senseless. "Alright! I'm taking control now!" Velvet declared as she seized the laptop for herself. "W-What are you doing?!" The Turtle cried out. "I'm gonna write a little story." Velvet declared with a smug grin, and began typing away.
The Turtle suddenly found himself overturned on the floor, fruitlessly kicking his legs trying to turn himself over. "I take back everything I said about Velvet! She isn't a broke dork! I'm the one who's the idiot! I am a big idiot scam artist and I deserve this!" The Turtle said. The Turtle was completely right, Velvet wasn't a dork, in fact, Velvet was super cool. She was the coolest person in the whole world and nobody could say otherwise. A magical ring that could take Velvet back home also magically appeared on the table, all she had to do was put it on.
Velvet briefly stepped away to grab the ring off the table. "No! You can't just write that! You're ruining the balance of the story!" The Turtle cried out. "I can't? I just did." Velvet ominously chuckled. "You're turning yourself into a Mary-Sue! Nobody likes those!" The Turtle whimpered as he continued his struggle to turn himself back over. "A Mary-what now? What are you even saying? You know what, never mind. Time for you to shut up."
Suddenly, the turtle found himself gagged and unable to speak, tears streamed down his face as he realized that he would never be as cool as Velvet.
Velvet pondered for a moment as she looked at the ring, maybe she'd hold off on using it for a bit. There were apparently people who still knew of her identity as the Lord of Calamity, not to mention the small numbers of Daemons still infesting her old world, and she had fallen out of favor with one of the most powerful entities in the world. She did want to go back home eventually, but right now, she needed a vacation. "Hey, Turtle, you've been here a while, where's a good beach around here? Also, what is the currency?"
The Turtle became ungagged, but he was only able to tell Velvet the truth because Velvet was so cool and he wouldn't dare lie to her.
"Rio's kinda nice this tima year I suppose, and they use Real here!" The Turtle answered between sobs. "Thanks, I suppose you've earned a smile." Velvet said with a smile. "M-Much obliged..." the Turtle sobbed out.
The Turtle's gag returned, and a bag full of R$100,000,000 appeared next to Velvet. All of the other police officers in the building also realized how super cool and awesome Velvet was, so they dropped all of their weapons and ran home to their mommies. All of the doors in the building also unlocked, which would make escaping a breeze, especially since Velvet was now instantly acquitted of any and all charges against her. Velvet also became miraculously fluent in every language spoken in this world, because she was so awesome. Everybody in the world realized that Velvet was awesome as well, and they all simultaneously concluded that they wouldn't think of messing with her.
Finishing her writing, Velvet smashed the Laptop so nobody else could edit the story, grabbed the ring and her bag, and headed for the door. "Well, I'd like to say it's been fun, but it wasn't. I'm going on my vacation, later soy-boy." Velvet said as she slammed the door behind her. While Velvet was referring to the fact that the Dark Turtle had been marinated in soy-sauce which gave him his darkened appearance, the Turtle had spent enough time on the internet to give Velvet's insult a completely different connotation, and he burst out sobbing once again.