There were nights in which Dani's consciousness washed over her in cold numbness.
She'd lie on her bed in the middle of the night with eyes wide open, heart beating fast in the wake of the memories she wished could've been nothing but simple nightmares. Her arms wrapped around herself as she tried to shake away the feeling of unwanted hands roaming her body. She'd train herself to become detached from the cruel experience of watching the man she once thought to be in love with turn into an unrecognizable monster.
The deafening silence of her solitude would be welcomed by the grip of her icy hands on soft bed sheets. No grimy floor tiles or bathroom-sink marble pressing or digging into her skin. Because he wasn't here, not anymore, and she was safe.
Other nights, the torment incinerated her from the inside out. She would wake up with streams of hot tears rolling down her cheeks, throat rasp from her wailing screams. Consumed entirely in the memory, as if nothing changed and she was still being burned by his forceful hands. Vicious and despicable in the way they stripped her from anything human left inside her.
Tonight was one of those nights. A night where she sat up in bed and tried to put herself back together while terror, fury, and agony smothered her like wildfire.
But Dani wasn't seventeen anymore. She no longer thought of dying with the flames of a life which had all but scorched her to ash. Instead, she rose with the sun and moved on.
Still, it took her time in the morning to recuperate from the ghastly impression those kinds of memories left behind.
It was as if she was put on autopilot when Chimney came into the locker room, looking for a favor as he greeted her, "Hey, Dani. Good morning!"
"Mornin', Chim," she nodded with a faint smile before taking one side of the bench, working on lacing up her boots. Stuck in a muddled gray while the man all but resonated bright colors.
"So, uh, you remember Tatiana, right?" Dani finished her right foot and moved on to the other one while humming in short agreement. "Well, she has this thing for Puerto Rican cuisine and I was kinda hoping you could help me out? It's a big night and I want to impress her because I'm planning to..." He paused, standing right in front of her but it looked to him like she was somewhere else.
"Dani, hey. You okay?" He reached out his arm planning to bring her out of that blank haze. But she blinked it away and stood up before he could offer a comforting squeeze to her shoulder.
"Yeah, I'm good- just a little sleep deprived, is all." She wasn't lying, not entirely as she brushed off all notion of those awful memories aside and stared attentively at Chim, "I'm sorry; you were telling me about your big date with Tatiana tonight. You want me to cook up something special?"
"Yeah," Chim nodded with a wide smile, "if it's not any trouble, I mean. I can always ask Bobby-"
"Hey, no. Chim, really, I'm honestly honored you even think that highly of my culinary skills." Dani insisted more consciously now, understanding that he wanted to impress the woman of his dreams, and she was never one to say no to that.
9-1-1 DISPATCHER:
9-1-1 WHAT'S YOUR EMERGENCY?
CALLER:
OUR BOUNCY HOUSE JUST TOOK OFF.
A HUNDRED FEET IN THE AIR!
9-1-1 DISPATCHER:
ONE OF THOSE BIG BLOW-UP HOUSES
FOR KIDS' PARTIES?
CALLER:
YES! YOU HAVE TO COME NOW.
THERE ARE CHILDREN STILL INSIDE OF IT!
MY STEPSON IS IN IT!
MY HUSBAND GOT THROWN.
OH MY GOD, I DON'T KNOW IF HE'S DEAD!
9-1-1 DISPATCHER:
WHERE IS THE BOUNCY HOUSE NOW, MA'AM?
CALLER:
IT CRASHED INTO THE HILL.
IT'S HANGING, LIKE, FROM THE SIDE OF THE CLIFF!
PLEASE COME QUICKLY.
PLEASE! PLEASE!
"All right, we're gonna stage the trucks on that service road," Captain Nash handed out his orders to the team when they arrived at the scene. "Dani grab your med bag, I want you and Buck to rappel down, anchor that bouncy house. Assess the condition of those kids, start to send them down one-by-one in a basket. Hen, you and I will take care of the dad. Chimney, you're gonna stay up here and work the winch."
"Hey," Chim glanced up at Bobby, "how come I never get to do any of the fun stuff?"
"Working the winch is fun," he insisted and patted him softly on the shoulder as they moved to action.
Trailing behind Buck, Dani watched Chim let out a dissatisfied sigh. If it were any other day, she would've volunteered to take the less exciting job but this was not the time to stand back and work the winch. No matter how important, a menial task like that allowed the opportunity for her mind to wander. Guide itself into dark places and pull the strings of hectically knotted thoughts undone.
Dani needed busy work, induced with just the right amount of high-risk pressure and adrenaline, in order to keep her in the present. Awake. Alert. Making sure those kids were safe and sound was her only priority and after that, she could only think about the next person in need of saving. Then, the next and the next and the next...
All, until her body ached with exhaustion at the end of the day. Too tired to even think straight let alone let memories like the one from last night resurface.
The methods in which she chose to deal with her trauma weren't the epitome of healthy, she knew that, but they worked. After a long shift at work, Dani was able to finally get some mindful sleep as soon as her head hit the pillow that night.
She'd woken up feeling more refreshed then the previous day, conceding to some quiet reading in her corner of the breakroom, while Bobby prepared a late lunch in the kitchen. Across from where she snuggled up in the reading chair, Hen bickered with Buck about the video game playing on their TV.
"Right here, right here- turn left!"
"I'm trying!" Buck fell back on the couch, arms raised to keep Hen from snatching the controller from him.
"Oh, so you're fleeing the scene?" Hen straightened up and adjusted her glasses as she caught his fire engine speeding away and leaving her in the game. "You do realize that you lose points for murdering people on the way to a fire."
"It should be fine." Buck plastered on a grin in response and continued pressing the buttons without consideration, the large vehicle running rampant on the screen. "It's a flesh wound," he read over the 'alert' bubble that popped up and turned to her with a smirk, "Obamacare."
"What?" Hen looked back at him in disbelief before she reached over again and began to wrestle the controller from his grip.
Dani stuck her head out of the book, lips pursed and prepared to shush them, but the sight of Hen practically on top of him while he pleaded for mercy amused her more than anything.
"Ridiculous," Hen chuckled softly. Finally retreating after Buck threatened jokingly for someone to call HR. White controller in hand, she nodded towards Dani and offered, "Hey, Dan, you're up."
"Oh, no, I'm okay," Dani shook her head with a smile and raised her book in short explanation, "thanks, Hen."
Hen sighed and tossed the controller back to Buck. "Okay, then, it's over for me." She stood up and walked over to the kitchen to help Bobby.
"So," Buck shifted in his seat, body leaned in forward to capture the brunette's attention before she could return to her reading, "you rather sit there trying to finish some boring old book than play with me? Come on, winner takes twenty."
"Oh, you're bribing me now?" She raised a daring eyebrow at him, allowing the semblance of an intrigued smile pull softly at the corners of her mouth.
"No," he caught onto it and couldn't help his smirk as it widened, a mischievous glint lightening the blue of his eyes. "I'm just asking for you to have some fun."
Dani's amused smile faltered when she realized where he wanted this to go. And it would've been unfair if some part of her didn't appeal to the intention, since she'd admit she was just teasing him not even a second ago. But all too quickly, a sour taste coated her mouth and sat uncomfortably at the back of her throat when she swallowed.
"This is fun," she bit back and raised the book to her face like a barrier. The thin veiled iciness of her tone cutting through any and all of Buck's flirtatious nonsense at once. Even if she didn't mean to, she couldn't help it; her defense mechanism.
"The Picture of Dorian Gray?" He eyed the titled cover of the paperback and scoffed. "Last time it was Frankenstein. What's next; Dracula?"
"Carmilla, actually."
"Car... Carmille- what?"
"Hey," she looked up again with narrowed eyes, "Mr. 'The world began when I was born', you don't get to judge me!"
Buck rolled his eyes, meaning for his words to be uttered but the exasperation slowly building in his chest betrayed him. "Trust me, I couldn't even if I wanted to," he snapped at last.
Dani blinked, confused, and her voice softened as she finally closed her book and stared at him. "What are you talking about?"
"Facebook, Twitter, Instagram..." he began to list off the social media platforms he knew, though he couldn't admit to looking her up on Tinder or any other dating apps for that matter. "We are living in the twenty-first century and you don't even have a MySpace account, Dani. I'm talking about getting to know you but the more I try to find out something about you, the more I'm convinced you're a ghost. Honestly, it's... It's ridiculous."
It'd been a late night, his roommates and him all equally drunk off their asses, so it had been real easy then to give in to peer pressure and his own curiosity. Now, it was just embarrassing that he spent hours trying to see if he could find one of his coworker's dating profile only to end up failing miserably. But even though Dani was entitled to live as much of a private life as she wanted to, he couldn't understand why someone like her seemed to be so closed off against the world.
"No, Buck, it's creepy and borderline stalking," she deadpanned. A little surprised to watch him slowly nod his head in agreement. "Why are you looking me up on the internet anyway?"
"It was Bobby's advice- not the stalking you online thing- but he did say it would be good if we got along," Buck answered truthfully. "You know, back when I got fired and had you almost suspended? Look, I know we started off on the wrong foot, so I'm just trying to get you to like me enough that we can be friends- like with the rest of the team."
Dani watched him carefully as he explained. Silent even after he stopped himself from rambling, growing nervous by the clear judgement on her face.
"February 13th, 1993," she stated.
"What?" He looked back at her, confused.
"You asked for my age the last time. I'm giving you my birth-date. And no date of death yet, just so it's clear that I'm no ghost."
His face broke into a victorious grin as he repeated the day, wanting to make sure he heard right. "February 13th?"
"Yeah," Dani sighed at that glint in his eyes. She swore she'd never met someone so excited about getting to know her- maybe it wasn't even about knowing her, so much as finally starting to crack into the stone forged around her heart and winning her over- But before he thought of anything else, she stood up and pointed out to him, "I'm not a birthday person so don't get any ideas, either."
"Noted." Still, he beamed a pleased smile at her while he turned off the video game and followed her to the kitchen with the rest of the team.
"Hey," Dani stood next to Hen in front of the bar and counter, eying an unusually solemn Chimney, "what's going on?"
"I'm a good-looking guy, right?" He stopped staring blankly into the fridge to turn to the pair of women before him, "I mean, like, you can do a lot worse than me? Yeah?"
Hen gave a short laugh, "Chimney, I've done a whole lot worse than you."
"You think I'd be a good father?"
"Of course, Chim..." Dani studied him for a second and when she recalled his big date last night, she grew more concerned, "Is this about Tatiana?"
However, it was not what she expected when he sighed and finally told them, "I asked Tatiana to marry me."
"What?" Hen widened her eyes while Buck half-smiled in disbelief, "Are you serious?"
"Um..." Hen was at a loss for words as Chimney confirmed. "Well, what happened?" she voiced everyone's thoughts and pressed for details when he remained silent.
"First, she said she cheated on a fiancé that I didn't even know about, and that now we need to break up, then she said she didn't know. I..." Chimney shook his head and let out a deep breath.
"Did you offer her the option of an open marriage? It's super modern," Buck suggested in an attempt to lessen guy's sad burden, but was only met with disapproving looks from both Hen and Dani.
"Buck," Bobby handed over the red salad bowl in his hands and motioned him to go and start setting the table.
Taking the hint, Buck stepped away but not before grabbing the pile of china plates on the countertop and putting them in Dani's hands, as she was forced to help him.
"That may not have been the response you that you hoped for, but it's not 'no'," Hen tried to soften the blow and give her best friend some hope.
Chimney looked at her with a shrug, "It might as well be."
"Probably for the best."
"What was that?"
All of them turned their heads to their captain as he absentmindedly stirred the chili pot on the stove. Realizing too late that he said that out loud, Bobby cleared his throat and met Chimney's gaze, "Nothing. I'm sorry. I... I didn't mean anything by that. You doing okay?"
"Of course you meant something by it. "Probably for the best"? There's a lot of meaning behind that," the man scoffed and refused to let his words go. "What, you don't... you don't like her?"
"I never said I don't like her," Bobby stopped stirring the pot as he clarified, "I don't like her for you."
"And what does that even mean?" A nerve on Chimney's jaw ticked, teeth clenched in frustration when Bobby chose to keep his opinions to himself this time. "No, come on. Come on with it, wise man- Just say what you want to say, 'cause I'm getting real tired of you standing there, just silently judging me with that... Yeah, right there, with that smirk on your face. You know, you're always so quick-"
"Chim-"
"-to comment on everybody's life, but you completely shut down whenever we ask you about yours. Why is that? Huh? I mean, how long have we worked together, Bobby? I know nothing about you! I've never even met your wife and your kids. You know why? 'Cause all you do is you sit there, brooding, staring in that little book of yours."
Dani didn't want to admit it, but Chimney was making a point there. She couldn't help but glance at Buck across the dinner table as the heated words resonated, the two of them having a similar discussion not even a moment ago. Definitely with a lot less anger and resentment, though.
"You know what? You're upset, let's drop it."
"Oh, my God, Bobby. Come on, just say it! What is it? Say it!"
"All right, you're living a lie, man!" Dani's fingers gripped one of the plates tightly, swallowing the the unease which settled around the room with the heavy tension, and watched as Bobby tried to reel in his anger. "You let her manipulate you. You pretend to be somebody you're not when you're around her. Making up stories to satisfy some hero fetish of hers? What is that?"
"You know what?" Chimney scoffed. "Maybe I wouldn't have to make up stories if every once in a while, you let me take point on something. I have to operate the winch, right? And The Maneuver? I can do The Maneuver."
"I know you can; that's not the point here," Bobby confessed and even though he really didn't want to argue, Chim needed to see reason. "Chimney, this relationship that you're in is fueled by lies... Come on. Y-You asked Dani to make you two dinner so you could pass it off as your own! She's not in love with you. She's in love with this fantasy version of you.
"You know what?" he bit back, knowing that he was going for a low blow but he didn't care. "I feel real bad for your wife. I really do. Must be tough living with someone who thinks he's right all the time." He was angry and heartbroken and hurt, because all of what his captain had said had been right- and that, Chimney couldn't take. "I'm getting some air."
Review responses:
Cassie-011: Thank you for your review and sharing your thoughts with me! I feel a lot more sure of where I want things to go, regarding the whole Buck/Dani/Eddie thing I was thinking about doing, so now that I know others share the same thoughts as me, I will work on those certain relationships more strongly. Right now, besides what you pointed out about how Buck can show/realize his possessiveness of Dani, I'm thinking that Eddie will be good for her in this aspect since as the story continues you'll see that she isn't the kind of person to act out on these types of impulses (unlike Buck lol), and I see Eddie's character as mature and sensible enough to be able to help her grow in that way. Maybe in the process, he'll grow some complicated feelings as well but... I'm not sure yet? Maybe that's to be discussed? Anyway, I do hope you enjoyed this chapter! Thanks again! :)
Guest: Thank you for reviewing! And I hope it's safe for me to assume all 4 of these guest reviews came from you? (if not, I'm terribly sorry) But you can count that training session with Buck and Dani for sure, I'm just trying to find out where exactly I can put that scene so there can be 'maximum sexual tension' lol
NL92: Thank you for giving this story a chance and reviewing! I'm so happy to know that you found Dani an interesting character, hopefully you've enjoyed this chapter as well! :)
Only Reviewer: Thank you for your review! Here we had Dani hesitantly give out her birthday so it official, she's an Aquarius! Now we have to see if Buck actually listens to her or if she will end up with a birthday gift from him lol Hope you enjoyed this chapter and thanks for reading! :)
A/N: Thank you so much for reading, and as always, I would love to know your thoughts, feedback, or any constructive criticism you may have! Reviews are great for a boost of writing motivation and do encourage me to update faster, so don't be afraid to leave even the simplest of words in the review box! :D