Like some child possessed, the beast howls in my veins
I want to find you tear out all your tenderness
and howl

-Howl, Florence + The Machine

Baam didn't get a chance to speak with Lero-Ro privately that night, the next night, or even the night after that; Khun's prediction didn't exactly pan out. It had been a long time since they had seen each other and not knowing when this opportunity would come again, the first few days they spent much of their time together.

Knowing his chance would come, Baam let himself, for the first time, truly enjoy his friends' company: Anaak and Rak held spear throwing contests, Shibisu badgered Quant until he agreed to teach him new camouflage techniques, Khun and Hachuling engaged in various battles of wits involving their lighthouses, Lero-Ro continued to cook for them.

It reminded him of the brief time they spent together after the Workshop, and he found himself reminiscing about the date he and Endorsi had gone on. He was aware it had caused shockwaves amongst his friends, hence their poorly masked reconnaissance. Perhaps it was naive of him, but at the time, it seemed innocent; just he and Endorsi spending one on one time together.

She and her team left before it became an issue, and he didn't give it much thought until her advance at the Name-Hunt Station, so bold that Baam finally understood her intentions, saw the signs he had missed.

As he looked at her now, sparring with Anaak, he understood why she had done it. Why she had risked the unity of the group; Baam was about to do the same. Yet Endorsi had risked even more, risked the wrath of Jahad himself, just as Anaak's mother had done – for a yearning that did not follow rhyme or reason.

He was thankful he did not return her feelings, that they did not have to wage that battle.

There was something else he noticed, as they continued to spend time together: though Hachuling and Quant were Rankers, his friends did not give them the same respect as Lero-Ro, who likewise treated them as juniors under his care. This respect was even enough to defuse an argument between Hatz and Khun after Lero-Ro stepped in, enough for his extraordinarily proud friends to appear briefly ashamed.

That was unfortunate, because Baam no longer saw him that way.

Shibisu's promise of staying only a few days was long forgotten, yet nearing the close of the week, he solemnly announced he and his team would be leaving not tomorrow, but the following morning. He then expressed his determination to go to the casinos tonight.

Quant agreed, as did Hachuling, who dragged Khun along with. Anaak and Endorsi were going out on their own. Hatz was staying in to meditate. Baam was still deciding what he wanted to do with the evening, when he was thrown for a loop by a question of Shibisu's.

"Mr. Ro, what are you doing tonight? Want to come with us?"

"Ah, don't bother, Kid. Ro's got plans." said Quant.

"Yeah, he always does this. I can't believe this city has an orchestra. Casino's more exciting in my opinion, but to each his own." added Hachuling.

"Ugh. Sorry, Mr. Ro. Orchestras bore me to tears."

"That's alright, Mr. Shibisu. Be careful tonight, and I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yep, see you!"

Baam was immediately reminded of Lady Skud's words – the past, present, and future are not as different as you believe – though he wasn't sure that was what she meant. Baam's desire to go with him was intense, as was the rush of guilt; he had been alone all this time. Rak, who was standing next to him and seemed to sense his distress, tapped his foot with his own.

"Well, Black Turtle and I are going to the aquarium." They had not previously talked about this, but Baam found himself nodding in agreement.

"You're kidding. That's one of the funniest things I've heard you say, Rak. A crocodile and a turtle going to an aquarium?" questioned Khun.

"It's not funny, Blue Turtle."

"It is pretty funny." replied Shibisu, trying to stifle his laughter.

Though he was irritated, Rak conceded this argument, only turning to Baam and saying, "Let's go, Black Turtle."

Baam sincerely doubted this was Rak's idea of a good time, despite the marvels and wonders around them, as they silently wandered the aquarium. Yet Baam found it soothing, and he suspected Rak knew that. Eventually, they sat down in a quiet corner, before a large wall of glass, observing the movements of a school of jellyfish.

"Are you having doubts again, Black Turtle?" Rak asked sagely.

"Not exactly." replied Baam, then stalled.

"What is it then?"

Baam sighed. "I'm worried he'll be angry with me; I left him."

"Ah."

"I've… never really forgiven Rachel – not only for the cruel things she's done, but for leaving me. I know she wanted something different for herself, but I still haven't forgiven her. Also… I'm worried he won't see me as his peer."

Raak paused, waiting to see if Baam was finished, then spoke. "You're not a youngling, not the way you were on the Floor of Test. You still need a leader, but you're grown.

"And Yellow Turtle… I don't like Yellow Turtle, I don't respect her – I don't think what you did to Dotted Turtle is the same thing." Rak huffed, then sighed. "But I know she's important to you. "Whether we like it or not, we're all always connected: after the Floor of Test, even when I didn't know what happened to you and it hurt, I was with you. I was with Blue Turtle too, even after I left him because he was driving me nuts.

"You can't change what you did, but I know Dotted Turtle is waiting for you. He might be mad, you don't know. But if you were brave enough to tell him the truth? If you did something like that, I might have to stop calling you a turtle."

The jellyfish continued to fluoresce, mesmerizing in their strange beauty. Baam looked down at his hands, witnessed the presence of tears in his eyes, let them fall.

"I was with you, Rak. You were always in my thoughts, even when we were apart. Thank you."

"I know, Black Turtle… but all these fish are getting me hungry. Let's go eat."

Their group reconvened the next evening for their final dinner together and were busy swapping tales.

"Quant, I take back everything I've ever said about you, because that was ridiculously entertaining. I even saw it, but I can't believe you lost that much money." snorted Hachuling.

"You were just unlucky, Teacher, and don't worry: there's always tomorrow!" encouraged Shibisu.

"Maybe the stars were aligned against you at the slots, but fortune smiled on you when you met this guy: Lero-Ro, be honest, how many of this idiot's fees have you payed over the years?" asked Hachuling.

"Don't answer that, Ro." Quant commanded.

"Yeah, let's just move on! Hatz, how did your, uh, meditating go last night?" asked Shibisu.

"Fine."

After eating, Shibisu tried to rouse some interest in going to the cinema, but some begged off.

"You don't realize how irritating it is knowing someone could take your photo at any moment. I have an image to maintain, and for that, I need to sleep." explained Endorsi as she got up. "We've got to get up early tomorrow anyway."

Hatz and Anaak also decided to retire, citing his strict training regime and Shibisu's bad choice in movies as reasons respectively.

"Oh, I hate goodbyes! I'm staying!" cried Shibisu, after farewells and wishes for safe travels were exchanged.

"Yeah, who needs sleep, anyway? We should go to the game arcade! Quant, care to try your luck again?" suggested Hachuling.

"You're on. I don't even think I'll win, but if we find someone there who can beat you? That'd be worth it."

"Heck yeah!" Shibisu raised his fist in the air. "Khun, are you coming?"

"Yeah. Come on, Rak, you're coming too."

"I'd stay home if I were you, Lero-Ro. It will be too painful watching the bill you'll inevitably pay grow bigger and bigger." Hachuling advised.

"Look, Ro doesn't cover all my bills, alright?! And, it's an arcade, it's not going to wipe me out – I don't have to bet anything! But yeah, it stresses me out when you watch me play games, Ro, I don't play as well!"

"It's alright, I'll stay away, Quant. Have fun."

"Baam?" asked Shibisu.

"I'm going to sit this out, too."

"Aww! You sure?"

"Mr. Baam and I can chat for awhile, right?" Lero-Ro offered casually.

"Right." Baam replied with a smile.

"Alright, we're off. We'll probably be out late, so I'll say goodbye now. Thanks for all the meals, Mr. Ro! Great seeing you, Baam. Thanks for convincing your stubborn teammates into letting us stay. This was a blast! Take care!" called Shibisu, as their group left the suite, and just like that, with the closing of the door, the moment Baam had been waiting for had arrived, and it was perfect. They would not be disturbed the rest of the night and this was Lero-Ro's private suite.

"I'm not too fond of goodbyes myself, but that worked out well, didn't it?" started Lero-Ro, as indicated with his head and started walking towards the kitchen, to the sink filled with dirty dishes.

"It's kind of you to do all this for us, Mr. Ro."

"I don't mind. It's nice to see you all enjoying yourselves for a change, but more importantly: are you alright? I have to admit, I was concerned when I received your message. You do seem to have a penchant for getting into – how shall I put it? – unusual situations."

Despite himself, Baam chuckled. "I do, and I did."

"Oh? Tell me about it. Or, would you rather sit? It won't take me long to finish up with this."

"How about the balcony?"

...Which is how Baam found himself looking out over another unfamiliar city, another place he would only ever be a visitor to, the slight chill of the night breeze sobering him to the task he was about to embark on. With all the light emanating from the city he could barely see the sky and its stars, but he could not find it within himself to care. Not when the light of the man next to him shone brighter than they ever could.

He was surprised: he felt calm, confident, as he began to speak, as though everything had been leading up to this, that he was only playing out a part that had already been written, that the outcome was predetermined. Time as one unbroken chain. He'd already put so much thought into what he was going to say; all that remained was to say it.

"Mr. Ro, the reason I needed to meet with you in person and privately is because the nature of what I'm about to say to you is just those things. I will answer any questions you may have, but recently I was coerced into traveling in time, into the past. Told that my and my friends' lives were at stake. The reason I'm sharing this with you is, do you remember meeting a man named Bijou while you were a Regular on the 29th Floor?"

At this Lero-Ro froze, losing color in his face as his eyes grew wide.

"When he departed, he told you Bijou was a false name, that he would provide his real name when you met again, which he promised you you would. He said he would have a keepsake from you, a locket of your hair, as proof of his identity."

Baam pulled out the token from his pant pocket, holding it up to the light of the city. "I know this, because he, The 25th Baam, and Jue Viole Grace are all one and the same. I am Bijou."

At first Baam thought Lero-Ro would remain standing, shakily perhaps, with an intense grip on the railing, yet some invisible weight sunk him to his knees, dripped his head low. Baam crouched to match him, watched as he covered his face with his hands, witnessed the silent tears falling onto the tile.

Eventually, he reached out a hand, palm upturned, to Baam. Interpreting this as a desire to see the locket, he gave it over. Lero-Ro ran his fingers over it, all the while remaining mute.

"Do you believe me?" Baam asked, after a short spell.

"It had crossed my mind," Lero-Ro responded, voice quiet, "Your resemblance to him, but I assumed it was a coincidence, or my mind playing tricks on me. Ms. Magda, that was Ms. Hwaryun?"

"Yes."

"When did this happen?"

"Three months ago."

"… How?"

Baam gently explained: Hwaryun's request of him, Lady Skud, the 29th Floor. Most of the key events Lero-Ro was present for, Baam was merely dusting off old memories. He did confess to witnessing Lero-Ro's farewell with Yuri, but he kept it brief, not wanting to overwhelm him in his shock.

After he was finished, Lero-Ro asked, "But Mr. Baam, I don't understand. Why?"

"Why was I sent back?"

"No, why would you… why did you want to be with me? Knowing who I was..." he trailed off.

Baam's chest ached at the question. "I wasn't expecting to, but it's as I told you then: I care for you, and I don't regret it."

"You know… I never did see Princess Yuri again. I continued to follow her progress, but after you left, there was no trace of you or Miss Magda.

"As the years passed, I thought of you often, yet eventually, I told myself I would be alright, if I never saw you again. If I never saw the princess again. That what we had was enough. Meeting Quant helped.

"It occurred to me that you may have been killed, but I never truly believed it - I don't know why, call it a gut feeling. The difficult part of that was if you were alive, you either couldn't or didn't want to find me, and I suspected the latter. You… were so attractive, it seemed likely you had met someone else, started a family."

Baam was pleased by the compliment, but it was given in such a sad way he could not linger, for he too knew the pain of wondering if Lero-Ro had moved on, and he'd only had to sit with it for months. He'd wrangled with it himself, but now he had the opportunity to ask Lero-Ro's opinion.

"Would it have been easier if I hadn't made you that promise?"

"… It's hard to say. Sometimes I was bitter, even wondering if you'd ever had any real intention of returning, but it would have been immensely painful if you hadn't. The hope of seeing you again was powerful."

"I debated it right up till the end, and maybe it is less significant, knowing how little time passed for me, but I was sincere when I made you that promise." Baam replied, then sighed. "When I first entered the Tower, my aims were so simple, I didn't understand how everyone could hurt each other so badly. It all seemed so careless. Yet, as I've climbed, I've learned I am no saint. My actions have sometimes been selfish, have caused harm, and I've had to face that.

"Being with you challenged me once again. I didn't want to hurt you, but I knew I already had. In the end I did what felt right. This doesn't make up for what I did, but I do want to be with you now. Are you seeing anyone?"

Lero-Ro choked on his first reply, before stammering, "That is kind of you, but there is no need. I know I'm not the same person I was."

"I admit I wondered that as well, but I was drawn to you because I already knew you. Because of what you've done for me. You, as you are. You aren't as different as you think you are."

He was dimly aware this was bold, possibly too bold, considering the circumstances. He could have left, given Lero-Ro time alone to process this – Lero-Ro hadn't even answered him, if he was seeing someone, Baam's instinct was not, that he would have said so affirmatively – yet he was simply too impatient.

Baam took back and pocketed the locket of hair – he still considered it his, and he wanted Lero-Ro to know that, then leaned forward and kissed him, and there was the Blue Thryssa, nodding its approval; there was Raak, exclaiming about the importance of the hunt; there was the call of his own skin and blood and sinew, that he could not rest until Lero-Ro was absolutely clear how he wanted things to proceed, and he couldn't really say how it happened after that, except that Lero-Ro did respond, with a grief and a longing that surprised them both, and they were up on their feet, off the balcony, through the front sitting room, along the short back corridor to the only bedroom.

Clothes were quickly removed and thrown aside, as were the sheets. None of the sweetness of their first time remained. It was all rushing, all urgency as he got Lero-Ro in bed, on his back, pressed his lips to his, twined his fingers through his hair, having made do with that lifeless locket for too long, the pale expanse of skin that glowed even in the dim of the room, the pulse of his heart, the rise and fall of his lungs, but it wasn't enough, he wanted more, not just to feel the pulse, but to feel the heart itself; not only to feel bone through the intermediary of skin, but to have it directly under his fingertips; not adequate to feel the flush rising off his body, but to feel the heat itself, all boiling down to a simple mantra, over and over: let me in.

Finally, something gave way, shifted, changed, and he had it, he had what he'd been seeking, hunting, searching for, and it was perfect, almost indescribably perfect, broken only by the arm wrapped around his shoulders going slack, slipping, disappearing, reappearing at his chest, palm flat, pushing weakly up at him. Hearing the barest whisper of a voice, that eventually formed vowels and consonants, that merged into words, then a message:

"Stop… please… stop…"

The spell was undone, and Baam became cognizant of many things at once. There were physical manifestations of shinsu in the room: his own familiar orb surrounding them, dark in color, its edges spinning fast, not enough to cause damage, not enough to create gravity, but with a heaviness mirroring the intentions of its oblivious creator, along with a grid of lightning. Baam recognized it from the Floor of Test, but just barely, for it was terribly disordered, erratically sparking and deteriorating fast.

It took Baam a moment to realize why this was so, until he realized with a growing horror that the orb, swirling steadily, powerfully was absorbing it, bringing it into itself. Baam dismantled it, understanding he now had the ability to replicate that grid, and moved to Lero-Ro's side.

A perfect black hole. His ability to quickly and immensely devour: the Red and Blue Thryssa within him, the souls of billions, two fragments of Enryu's Thorn, and now, a significant portion of Lero-Ro's shinsu, judging by the state he was in. Baam didn't understand all of what just transpired, but he understood enough, and he began to assess the damage and stutter apologies.

Lero-Ro was ghastly pale – as he tried and failed to sit up, only raising his head before it fell back to the bed – cold to the touch and shallow breaths. Blessedly, his aura was stable, and showing signs of recovery.

Baam pulled the bedclothes over him as he started to shake, wiped his brow after his hair had stuck haphazardly to his forehead, until something even more horrifying dawned upon him: he wanted to do it again. He could feel it, when he touched Lero-Ro's skin, the urge to consume, and there was no one to blame but himself, for he knew this was not the desire of the Blue Thyrssa, or the souls; it was his own.

He forced himself to remain, to make sure Lero-Ro was alright, but he needed to leave. He couldn't say how much time passed – it felt like ages, waging this inner battle with himself: the magnitude of what he had just done, what he still wanted to do – until Lero-Ro opened his eyes, reached out to him, the heartbreak in his eyes when Baam jerked away.

"Look." Baam directed simply, answering the unspoken question, slowly taking Lero-Ro's hand in his own, holding it up so he could see for himself, the slight spark that fizzled between them, forced himself to witness the confusion on his face, then the emerging fear as Baam let go.

"I only stayed as long as I have to make sure you were alright. I'm so sorry."

He did not know what Lero-Ro's response would have been to that; he was gone before he gave him the chance.