Dear r/relationship_advice

She was joking, but she asked me for a threesome this morning! I nearly choked! And then she served him divorce papers! Oh my goodness!

She was joking, but she asked me for a threesome this morning! I nearly choked! And then she served him divorce papers! Oh my goodness!

By: DarkAndTwistyDoctor

Dear r/relationship_advice,

Yeah, so that happened. She approached us by the elevator, and she looked at me, and she pointed, and she said "well, this looks cozy. Can I join in? Or are you two not into threesomes?" And then Derek was mad, but I was just standing there, because I couldn't believe she just said that. Out loud. In the hospital! It's all I've been thinking about, all day. How she might consider me. Having sex with me. Talking to me. It gives me shivers.

So I took some of your advice and I got her a coffee today. I didn't know whether or not she likes cream or sugar so I had like five packs of each in my pockets that I gave her as I gave her the coffee. And then I blurted out "how do you take it?" And I think she might have smirked a little at me. Eek! And now I'm thinking about all the things she likes, and dislikes, and what her preferences might be.

And then suddenly she's working on a case with me. I foolishly question why she's there but apparently, she's done genetics research in this area, like she hasn't done everything amazing. I've been appreciating all of her graceful movements today and trying not to think about seeing her naked. She hasn't brought it up again, so maybe it wasn't serious, but the way she brushed past me today I already felt fireworks.

The surgery didn't go well, and everyone was kinda upset. We were scrubbing out after, and she seemed reluctant to put her wedding rings on. She said it was just a habit. She started to say "look, I don't want someone who doesn't want me, Meredith…" And I wanted to jump in and say that I wanted her. That she could pick me, or choose me, or whatever, but I was frozen on the spot with my mouth open, and she just sighed, and said she wasn't sure her husband wanted her anymore.

And I just leaned into her, and said that I'm sorry. And then she nuzzled my head. And it was really really calm, except that it was really really erotic. And her hot breath on my neck gave me shivers.

Maybe my ex-boyfriend will actually sign those divorce papers. How will I tell him it's not for him that I want him to? I'll deal with that later. I need a cold shower. A really really cold one!

And now for the replies:

Nicoleg86

Do you still like McDreamy? I'm asking cause you keep calling him that, we can help you come up with a new McName for him? I like McAss, but that's up to you?

How is it going with her? Does she smile at you slot? Or give you looks like you annoy her? When will you realize that you like her? I mean you get nervous,and have sweaty hands. From what you are saying I would like her, I wish we could see a picture of her.

Finally I think I might be over McDreamy. He's just too… Arrogant for me. McAss fits well. Let's go with that. She does sorta smile at me. Especially today. When she's annoyed it's usually because I've gotten an anwer wrong- it happens, I'm an intern, but really it looks more disappointed that I haven't gotten it right yet.

Okay, maybe I kinda like her. Or at least, I want her. If that's any indication. But my body kinda does that sometimes. It likes inappropriate people.

writer_on_fire01

OP-

I have decided that your best bet is a flirtatious email to McHot. For example:

Dearest McHot,

You should buy me mcdinner and let me come back to your ratty mctrailer.

Or, alternatively:

I like your mcface.

(As I'm sure you've gathered, I'm not one for subtlety. As such you can adjust accordingly.)

You're welcome.

Oh no, a flirtatious email? Where would I start!? 'Hi, this is Dr. Grey, and I'd like to take you up on that threesome and conveniently forget to invite your husband?' or ' Wow you look so nice in pink it makes your tits look perky and I wanna touch them,' or 'Do you wanna get takeout and make out in my car or your car?' No, all of that sounds trashy. She is not trashy. I gotta keep working on it!

Dangerosa

Oh, OP, OP, OP.

I love how you denied having a crush on McHot 50 times here just to end up asking how to be flirtatious and if it's wrong to pine after her. You're so subtle.

Great, fuck McDreamy! That's excellent news. Nobody cares about him. About her, well, just... Get her a coffee or whatever she likes to drink, tell her it's a thank you for saving your bestie...and then do it again. Until it becomes a thing, the two of you having coffee at some point of the day before going back to work or whatever.

And at some point... Ask her if she'd want a drink instead. And BAM.

Also you totally sound like you have a praise kink. No one reacts like that to 'good girl' and without having a praise kink. (You might want to take a look at the bdsmhelp subreddit for that.)

Mmkay, it's not a crush. It's an infatuation. An obsession. Personal AND professional jealousy. A firm desire to have her have her way with me. In my bed. It's not a crush that sounds too simple for this.

I should thank her for saving my friend again. Yeah, maybe I'll do that. I'll see if she wants a drink on me to celebrate and go after work. Maybe. If I'm brave enough. And what's a kink- OH. I went on that subreddit you talked about. I bookmarked it. Thanks for that, I've been reading for hours now. I wonder if McHot would be into that stuff. I don't think I can ask her that either...

MerAddStan

Dear OP

I am back. I am apologizing already, because I read a lot of things I want to comment on for you, so this is gonna be a long one. I'm sorry!

I am so sorry for your mom! And it must be awfully awkward to be in this situation, with your roommate even! I can't imagine to get this on top of you other problem. The leggy redhead!

First of all! How amazing for Mchot to save your best friend! That is simply the best thing (even tho it is her job, obviously)! You can try to buy her some coffee or some other drink (depending on what she likes to drink/where you live), and go from there. And not a drink to get into her pants, but really as a thank you. If you don't think you could do that, you can always buy a really nice card (and some more chocolates) and put it in a place she will find it. That way you can think about what you want to say, and get it to her without stumbling over your words/running away. I don't know if she maybe has an office you can put it in, or ask someone else to give it? Or if you have her number send her a nice text.. or I don't know. Maybe a card is the best, because you can give a small something with it..

To me, it sounds like she would want to be your friend, you said she smiled back at you and waved!

A black dress? Who is she trying to impress? Do you think it's the husband? Otherwise try to spy a little on her and see who she hangs out with a lot.. Keep on trying to just say hi, or Goodmorning, or bye when you leave work! You can do it! I believe in you! My mom always said: say to yourself; I am ... (fill in you first and last name) and I can do anything and everything I want! It really is empowering!

Good on dumping that awful boyfriend of yours, I can't even call him the way you call him! ? why don't we think of another name for him?

As for the part you said you're trying to be friends, but your hands are getting sweaty and you're rambling etc, are you sure you don't feel even a tiny bit for her? Because to me it does sound like you have a crush on her.. I mean I don't blame you, I even have a crush on her and I don't even know who she is or what she looks like, but the way you talk about her.. damn..

but.. if you don't have a crush on her, then can I take a chance with her ️

Now I'm gonna answer on your answers on us readers, in my opinion it said a lot

—

Oh oh oh.. who are you trying to fool..

you're are literally saying yourself as well that she is in fact really hot. Because your friend might have came up with the name, but he is so right?

And he! Full conversation that's a good one! When was that! About what? Try to maybe get back to that topic.

Fantasies about girlfriends, so you do feel something! Also, so possessive, getting jealous at the thought of her with someone else?

—

Smiling is always a good start! Just watch out you don't get a creepy smile with a too high pony tail! Can be kinda freaky..

she sounds amazing, if she's that fit, she must workout somewhere, maybe find out and do the same, you could become gym buddies, so it's clear for her you want to be her friend, and not to up your game at work!

Her voice sounds lovely, you can always ask something about work, so you have an excuse, and try slowly how she responds to physical contact, like a hand on her arm or shoulder, instead of leaning in right away!

Are there any other people she seems kind of friends with? Invite them all over for a small gathering, you're all colleagues after all!

Good for you on the Mcdouchebag for not talking to him!

—

Nice fingers? Where is this going?

To me it (as well) sounds like she's been flirting with you, for at least the slightest. I mean 'good girl' and you said her voice was husky and low? That is not something to forget!

You can also let her do all the talking and flirting and try to get along with it, or maybe play hard to get!

—

She indeed sounds super cool! I mean she saved your best friend!

I wouldn't just take a picture of her! But maybe you can find one online? She sounds as if she's had a pretty big career.. and go practice!

Don't think/care about Mcdouchebag, if you want to become friends, then you do that, but he has absolutely no right to say anything about that! Because it's a decision between you and Mchot!

She doesn't sound 100% straight, for sure, but don't ask, just get to talk with her about her past and how she experienced live etc, you'll find out!

No offense/judgement, but it does sound like you have a praise kink, you've been talking about that phrase for a few now, not a bad thing, maybe find out is she has something like that.. curled lips, seems like she was thinking of other things!

—

Proud of you as well! Dumping is a good start, now cutting him out of your life!

She did say it at work, and I think she did mean it. If you are so upset with it, grab some balls, and ask her what she meant!

The sex part, I can appreciate it, but I do think she needs someone to vent with.. it sounds like her marriage is awful/the worst, she needs to destress.

For the alcohol part, I get that, but if you can't trust yourself with alcohol, there is something else right? I would definitely invite some other female colleagues over and just have a nice evening, you could always make up An excuse why you wouldn't be drinking, or stay off the tequila!

I think a spa day is a really good start! And you even have a bathtub! You can set it up for her, and leave her alone there (to destress, put some nice smelling soap in there) after you guys could do eachothers nails, and you can always just give her a massage. She wouldn't have to give you one, since we don't want you to die! But consider it!

I feel like she could really appreciate it!

—

As for you last question, I don't know how to talk to someone that perfect, you can try leaving small cards/post it's for her, with sweet, kind, encouraging quotes/notes on it, but don't sign them with your name, and see how she responds to them (from some distance).

Also if you put some flirtatious text on them, you can see if she's even open to that!

For the pinning, I don't think you should be too worried about that! It doesn't seem like their marriage is gonna last..

All the best of luck! ❤️

WHOA WHOA, a novel! Thanks for all your advice. So, starting from the beginning, oh no when I read this first all I read was 'on top of the leggy redhead' and then I thought about that for a while. And I'm still thinking about it! Maybe I will make a card for her and put it in her mail box. I think she has one of those here! Tomorrow I'll say good morning for sure!

Yeah, you're totally right I get jealous if I hear anyone making a move on her. Even her husband and he should be allowed to. I wanna be her everything. Oh maybe I'll ask about her past. Maybe she'll tell me about a past girlfriend and then I'll know. That's very clever! Whenever I feel her arm touch mine I feel like I'm on fire. I wanna run my hands through her hair. I wanna rub her back. I want her in my lap.

Maybe she'll talk to me more if I bring her more coffees. It's a start, right? And then I can start thinking about spa nights. It sounds like a good idea. Especially if it involves more touching. Even friendly touching. I don't have her number, because she's technically still my boss but maybe I'll write her a post-it note. I'll put it by her office. Yeah...

AnnaPianna

OP, you can't tell me you aren't crushing on this McHot. You also can't tell me you don't have a praise kink. Definitely not judging just stating facts. Maybe just try and make yourself there for her you know? Her husband McDreamy sounds like a total dick so she'll need someone to vent to you know? Also that gives you an excuse to spend more time with her. Since you do work with her, just make sure it doesn't seem like you're sucking up.

Also... fuck McDreamy. But not literally. That's what got you in this mess in the first place

Okay, so after reading up on it I might have a little bit of a praise kink. I thnk it must come from my daddy/mommy issues and a need for approval. But either way it really gets me going. And that's hard when your crush is your teacher and she tells you when you're doing a good job. I work so hard to have her tell me that and when she does I light up like a Christmas tree.

I'm not gonna go back to him now. I just hope that she doesn't.

LordofLezzies

OP

You've got it bad for McHot! Forget about McDouche and move on with your life, because clearly you're into his wife, and if the marriage is failing, she's going to be on the market soon. Sometimes a beautiful woman walks into your life and you can't help but pine for her even if it's not appropriate! Buy her coffee, be casual and see where that goes! ;)

Hi there new commenter, okay fine. I got it kinda bad for McHot. But she's just so… Dreamy… Y'know? Even dreamier than McDreamy. The kind of dreamy you wanna go to the beach with, and take on dates. I sure hope she's single soon, as awful as that might be. Idk how casual I can get. Part of me wants to go all in and deliver roses to her door. And the other part of me just wants to keep bringing her a mug of iced vanilla coffee with three creams every morning. Because that's how she likes it.

OKIE DOKIE.

So thanks all for your help. Next step- how do I keep my cool when talking to the very mesmerizing McHot who may or may be getting a divorce. While I nurse my potential praise kink, and try not to hyperventilate every time I picture her propositioning me (us, but kinda me), by an elevator?

TY TY TY

***** END OF CHAPTER 4

Author's Note:

This work is inspired by r/relationshipadvice

by villhag

and on that fic, the commenters would act as Redditors and try to give the OP some advice.

Feel free to participate if you like as personas in the comments, and I'll keep them in mind to respond to in future chapters. Thank you so much to those who have contributed so far. As you can see, they have inspired this chapter.

Cheers!

bobbiejelly