The first sentence leaving Akechi's mouth is, weirdly, "W-What have i done?!"
It is said almost in a whisper, but in a scream-like breathiness, the overwhelming sense of collapse drawing out the words.
And honestly, isn't that ironic. Mostly because Akechi knows exactly what he has done. He knew the entire time. He just has his values flipped at the moment thanks to Joker, his sight cleared by a tiny fraction.
The fight flashes before his eyes, bits and pieces falling together. The rage, the pain, the strike-strike-stri-
He didn't even want to do this in the first place, Akechi remembers. He figured out what happened after the interrogation room, he rushed to LeBlanc to see it closed and empty - he followed the trail to the ship, watched what the PT's plan consisted of - and he wanted to understand, maybe even try negotiating. His curiosity as to how they knew about his plan wasn't helping, more so pulling him towards them.
He wanted to keep the thieves out of this, even before he 'killed' Joker, asking him to join him or keep everyone out - when he understood he couldn't stop them, he decided Joker will take the fall alone - thinking the leader would be the only sacrifice, keeping the thieves away or mourning and safe before Shido plummets, yet it came to this, all of them stubbornly pushing through, towards their deaths and his failure.
He couldn't let that happen, he thought then - but he was blind to the alternatives for too long.
His emotions went too far, Akechi knows, as he went off script with only rage filling the role where logic should triumph. Why did it go like this?
Akechi's steps falter.
Going back from being the crazed and berserk Black Mask, of course Crow feels exhausted, but not enough to prioritize himself over Akira who's bleeding out in front of him. Bleeding. Present tense of verb 'bleed', which wasn't good for anyone involved. He empties his thoughts and rushes over, despite his own dizziness.
He steps forward, his boots splashing the blood that's almost indistinguishable against the red floor, in contrast to Akira laying next to it. He is passed out, curled up on his side, the biggest source of the bleeding appearing somewhere near his chest, not yet stopped, dripping. The boy's breaths are short and shallow, the slowness of them putting the cycle off-rhythm.
There are quiet wheezes leaving his mouth, an audible shudder joining the sound, and even the ship's ambiance can't cover them.
Crow's panic rises even thinking about it.
Crouching down, he wastes no time assessing the precise damage. There are many harsh deep bruises on Akira's visible skin, as Akechi's gaze focuses with proximity. 'Who knows how much worse it is under his clothes', the boy wonders as he ties some of Joker's clothes tight around the bloody sites. He has no time to think about the injured sites he can't see. Akechi knows from experience internal bleeding is a serious concern, just as much as he knows it's a pain in the ass, but there's nothing he can do about it.
In less than a second of judging the situation, Akechi brings Akira towards himself, his lap serving as a pillow, hands shaky in the way they cradle him. Is this really all he can do?
As he checks Akira's pulse and pupils, checking for abnormalities, the truth slowly dawns on him, crushing him, the uncomfortable feelings creeping back in. He did this. He killed Akira once, and he is killing him a second time. Only this time, he hates it more.
He grabs Akira's shoulders.
"F-fuck! DAMMN IT! wake up!" Crow yells in desperation, not getting a response from the revenette. He once more shakes Akira, "Idiot..."
Akira doesn't react, completely out of it, and Akechi quickly realizes he can't turn back time. The boy feels fragile in his hands, delicate in a way Akechi never saw the other, and Akira can't even be around to feel ashamed of it.
Logically, Akechi thinks he will need some help with this. If he can't get Akira to wake up and heal himself and with the healing items wasted, there is no other way than to wait. He frowns.
"What do we do?!" Ann says, distress evident in her tone. She was letting out her anger on the closed bulkhead-door, just like Ryuji. Their fists made a few thumps against the metal, now clenched at their sides as they despaired.
"Guys, keep your cool! They are both on the other side. The signal is kind of off for that type of thick door, but if we hurry, we can try to stop their fight. Let's start backtracking to any of the main areas now!" Futaba commanded, jumping on her persona for the high ground. People turned to her, confused then determined, immediately following her navigation. "Phantom Thieves, to the rescue!"
Ryuji kicked the damn door one last time for good measure. "'effin' disaster."
Everybody knew that this was just a race against time. The shadows they defeated were tough, sure, but the psychotic Black-Mask was another class on his own. Even teamed up, the PT agreed he poised quite a challenge. The strong curse attacks, the huge stats and level, the quick dodges and 2 years of experience were something the thieves obviously had trouble with, so of course Joker (only 1 year-experience wildcard, good at adapting but not without back-up) wouldn't last long.
Joker drew power from his bonds, as his team knew, and was extremely scared of getting knocked out, as he was the one holding most of the items and could administer them quickly enough to work. If he's alone for the first time, against someone who survived alone for years, the result won't be pretty.
"The time is of the essence-", Futaba chimed, at which everyone sped up the pace. None of the thieves even dared to hope Akira's plan of turning Akechi over has succeeded.
Haru and Makoto nodded to each-other, both kicking in the near by vent leading to one of the main paths. The rest followed, a quick step and a few stressed frowns evident on their faces, harshly cluttered in the small space. Even Yusuke, normally stoic or entranced by the environment, forgot everything about it and was the quickest to go, his troubled expression showing for the first time.
Ryuji wasn't any better. In fact, he might have been the worst off out of everyone. "That idiot. Why would he jump at Akechi like that?"
Unbeknown to him, others were asking the same. They knew their friend, yet not his mind, so they were just as clueless.
A yelp sounded out as someone put a hand on someone's leg, the vent getting exceptionally dark and spooky. Another yelp sounded, this time from someone's foot accidently landing on someone's hand, and someone groaned in annoyance. The rough bolts caught someone's clothing, a torturous pause in the fast-moving train of crawling thieves, wasting precious seconds. Someone grunted angrily.
Deep down, they all knew how Akira was, and they also knew they themselves couldn't stop feeling a strange bond between their fates and Akechi's. But what Akira pulled? None of them expected it. None of it was planned. It was unlike anything they have done before, fast and spontaneous to the max. The results show as much.
He just went all out on Crow, throwing himself at danger, for no real reason, when Crow was too powerful for him. Just what was up with these two? Was Akira curious of the things Akechi spoke of, like them, and was that the reason he went after him?
The background of parents and adults abusing the young was what brought them all together, and now that Crow shared a piece of himself (no matter how twisted), they, along Joker, wanted to understand him more. But none of them went to the extremes. None of them had a plan. They asked questions during their fight, way before Akira pulled off the 'duel' stunt, which made them even more confused at Crow's motive and morals.
They all felt something was off with Akechi from the start, Akira most of all, but to explore it was a danger no one except the leader wanted to take.
And Akira did, since 5 minutes ago. His teammates didn't know what to think.
By the time they left the vent and had a route, the 10 minutes of fighting might've already killed Akira for all they knew.
The only thing they could say (to stay sane) was that: The Phantom Thieves never kill. Whatever they find as they come back to the room, whatever awaits them there, killing and aggression won't solve anything. Even if there would be... a body, they can't take the role of executioner now.
They would... honor... Akira's memory, by the rule he established, if the worst scenario comes to pass. They would be no better than their previous abusers if they broke it then, if they went that low. Maybe even Shido's level. They would take Akechi to face his crimes, and continued without him, or Akira.
They desperately wished for a different scenario.
"Ya think he's holding up ok?" Ryuji worried again. "He can hold off Crow for long enough, r-right?" he was getting more stressed, speeding up his trot, a slight stutter in his speech. Makoto looked back at him, the only one left to lead and assure others, and tried: "We have to believe in Joker. He's our leader for a reason. Whatever plan he has-", she made her eye-contact more intense, Ryuji staring back at her hope and certainty, and said, "We have to trust him."
(And that, they did.)
Back at the other side of the metal barrier, Akira is barely holding on. It's unsurprisingly still Akechi's fault, no matter how long he might argue about outside factors or his goals being morally grey.
His only chance... lied with the Phantoms. With Akira. Which was bleeding. Because of him. Is he even allowed to help...?
He should fix his mistakes with a cool head, Crow knows that, but what he also knows is that it's hard to not give into the mad haze again, especially since he can't keep his mind off the fact that Shido knew about him from the very beginning, everything went South, and he still felt crushed from that alone, and he failed, and he didn't get revenge, and-
Can he even trust his emotions right now? Can he even trust himself to help Joker?
His hands started shaking without his permission, the unusual ambiance making him stress over the silence.
Undisturbed and untouched, the events of the last few minutes still rang clear and disruptive in his mind. It reminded him of all the crystal clear memories of his targets that he made psychotic, all for a goal he lost sight of. The strings above the Akechi cognition further symbolized how much his father thought of him as a puppet, how much he was doomed to fail, how naïve he was in doing everything he did. Nothing would have worked out in Crow's plan, would it?
He wouldn't have the time to cut his own strings and make his father plummet down from his glory before getting executed himself as a loose end. He, as much as his plan, were a failure. The word got trapped in his head, echoing, resonating.
Why is this dawning on him only now? Why didn't he see it before?
(Focus!)
He knew there was something for him to do here, now, still. He refused to give up his only friend, even if his own life would be forfeit. He made that decision.
(there is a way. find it, detective.)
Time was running out. Akechi thought out-loud: "Hold on", almost like a plea to both himself and Joker. The teen was still, growing cold, despite all the makeshift holders Akechi made to stop the bleeding.
A flash of an idea suddenly hit him.
Robin Hood.
His first persona, Robin, had one singular healing move. Even if it wouldn't do much, it will be something. At least until Joker's dumbass friends come over.
What had Akira said? What had Joker said? Steps to be good. Starting every new day. Choosing. He can always choose correctly, can't he? He needs to choose. He needs to do this. No matter that he caused this situation, no matter that this is a temporary solution, he can still try. Try to fix it.
Would Joker be proud he got so deep into his mindset, Akechi wondered.
Sitting down, concentrating, he brought Akira closer, yet through the fabric of his suit he felt that the leader was getting even colder in his grasp. If that wasn't a big sign to hurry up, Crow didn't know what was.
Closing his eyes, Akechi put himself in a mindset of his old self. The self that wanted to be a hero everyone wanted. That played with ray-guns, light-sabers, hopeful feelings. The one that wanted to put a smile on his mom's face. A fighter of justice. He cannot believe it wasn't a charade the first time he awakened, 2 years ago, yet now he had trouble reminding himself of it. The persona of white and gold stays silent.
Different approach was needed.
In a split second, he thought of Akira. How he was; How he will need to continue being. Not perfectly heroic, not a criminal either. A thief. Good thief. Just and honorable. He reminded himself of his time with the thieves, even if it was make-pretend. Deep down, he liked feeling like he belonged at Joker's side, at the side of vigilante justice, even if he wouldn't admit it out loud. The thrill of being in a group of criminals, led by his rival, was un-paralled. Following them all felt natural then, as if it was always meant to be, too late, always too late.
He felt remorse, he felt anger, and even if it was bitter, he dived into the memory.
Crow knew, along his anger, envy won't disappear any time soon, not really. He just needed... to forget, for a moment. Forget that his anger and self-loathing exist, forget it existed.
Isn't that what happiness is about? What recovery is? What forgiveness is?
When his outfit changed to pristine white, he sighed in relief, immediately backing the fuck up as Akira's blood made red flowers bloom on the fabric. He didn't know it was this bad, and this is...
(worse than he expected)
He hugged Joker closer, almost tortured by guilt as the forced healing spell took effect, a shimmer of light briefly appearing near by, dangerously flickering, as if being repeatedly put out. His spells, this spell, they weren't exactly made to be used this way, outside of battle, on Joker's condition or anyone else's.
Then, in a second of panic from the caster, the light prevailed and flashed constant.
Akechi sighed, which Akira didn't respond to.
"...You're going to be fine...", Akechi lets out. Joker will be alright, he will be for certain, but there is little hope in mending their friendship after all of this is over. He lets out another de-stressed sigh nonetheless.
"Come on now", he murmured, starting lowly. Yet, the spell stays as constant as ever, not letting up or powering up any more than it was. Akechi wished it worked better, even if in less than a second he felt the danger ebb away anyway.
Just as he frowns, thinking about how embarrassed he feels for being manipulated, how he hates everything, how 'trying' anything seems pointless now, how Akira is hopefully going to be okay, a few things happen at once:
The Phantom Thieves enter the room through a vent.
Akira opens his eyes sleepily.
The Phantoms and Akechi stare at each-other for an embarrassingly long time and it makes both sides feel self-concious.
Ryuji digs out Goho-M, and they all get the fuck out.
On this beautiful evening, a bunch of teenagers get spotted near the diet building. They talk animatedly, not loud, but normally, although their body language suggests that they have a lot of energy for yelling anyway. One of them stays still as a statue, holding someone. A few passerbys look at them briefly but quickly lose interest, as nobody comes near the diet building without more important things to do.
"You..! I can't believe you've done this to Akira..!", one of the girls scream-whispered, her blazing red eyes a picture of hellfire.
"Mako-chan, what matters is we got out of immenent danger, we have to restrain our emotions for now..."
"As difficult as that might be... i also feel this isn't the best moment. It could have been worse."
"Yes. Let's not be too hasty. We need the whole story. Afterall, Akira is-"
"-I will try my best to answer your questions, but this place is a little less than ideal...", a boy with chestnut hair interrupted with clear sarcasm and irritation.
The others just scrunched up their faces in the realization that he's right. The diet building entrance is a place for no conversation whatsoever. Just how distracted were they?
"For real guys?", one of the boys, this time having short blond hair and a deliquent style, exclaims, earning a look thrown his way.
They move.
The first few steps Akechi takes are wobbly, completely unexpected after he stood so stiff just a second ago. The thieves look back curiously, assuming the half-lucid Akira might be throwing the detective off-balance, but quickly come to the realization that Akechi was hurt in the fight as well.
They ask if he needs assistance, still reserved towards the person they don't know what to think about, but only get a denial out of him. They back off peacefully, although a few thieves hover.
Akechi ends up talking in small snippets as they advance, his tone guarded, giving the most bare explanations. The detective, which everyone is still wary of, got talkative enough to prevent any fighting over info just yet, trying his best to quietly move away from the places where Shido's men would notice him.
The last thing he needs is for his father to notice he failed to kill Akira.
The PT all look at him with caution still, and observe him like hawks, having evidence that he is unstable even if their questions are not looked down on. The whole team is tense, almost defensive, but no one can really act on it. What were they even supposed to think at this point? Akechi had almost killed Joker, twice, willing to sacrifice him and multiple lives to end a tyrant who not only requested the killings but killed more himself. Who was really at fault is a question no one has yet reached, which just means the tension won't disappear any time soon, especially when the issue can only be resolved by a pack of turbulent protective teenagers.
There isn't much that proves Goro isn't a hazard for the whole gang and their leader. That fact makes the current situation even more insane. They want to laugh through the tension.
"...But rain can become so many different things. Won't it affect you eventually?"