A/N: This is AU. It's smut. If that's no' your cuppa tea, then read something else.
Thank you to CharlieFenwick for granting me permission to fill in some missing scenes from her story.
This story can stand alone. However, I encourage you to read 'The Complication' as it's a fuller, more fleshed out plot (and this is just the PWP…). For those that have not read 'The Complication', the Alfie character referenced briefly in this chapter is a carryover from that story – a former lover of Tasha's that died young.
They were due to arrive at Ligon II in a few days and Tasha was eager for an assignment to take her mind off of the Second Officer.
She knew she couldn't go back to another weekly poker game. At least, not until she had gotten this out of her system.
He'd given her the strangest look when she stepped onto the bridge the next morning.
She felt her face flush. He had to have known.
Tasha so embarrassed about the way she felt and she couldn't explain it.
She knew he'd been trying to talk to her all week, and it had taken all of her willpower to steer clear of the Second Officer.
And Tasha knew fully well she couldn't have him turning up at her quarters again because she didn't want to turn him away again.
For his part, Data had been unable to take his eyes off her when she stepped onto the bridge. He was fascinated by her. He could find no logical explanation for why she occupied a growing space in his memory banks.
But it was pleasant.
And it gave him a sense of longing when it was absent.
When their shift ended, she took the nearest turbolift she could and hastily made her way to her quarters.
Data joined Geordi on the opposite turbolift.
"Geordi, may I ask you a question?" Data inquired.
"Sure, Data," Geordi shrugged.
"If someone attempted a one-on-one conservation with someone they assumed to be the type of person that would appreciate that level of direct contact, but the conversation was to terminate before the opportunity to-" Data started to say but was cut off by Geordi.
"Computer halt," Geordi ordered before turning to Data to ask, "What is this all about?"
"Yesterday, when I asked you about how to handle a hypothetical situation in which someone was avoiding another person because of something they had done – well I followed your advice, but the reaction has left me more confused than before," Data summarised.
"What are you talking about Data?" Geordi demanded, starved for context.
"The human equation. Why are human physical behaviour and body language sometimes at odds with what human's state? And how is one supposed to distinguish what is true and what is posturing?" Data asked quickly.
Geordi put his hands on his hips and sighed, frustrated.
"I do not believe it is because I am an android. There was clearly desire and that seems to remain constant, even without the polywater," Data thought aloud. "Yet every time attempt to-"
"Who are you talking about, Data?" Geordi asked, agitated.
"I cannot say," Data replied.
"Data!" Geordi pressed.
"I gave my word, Geordi," Data said simply.
"Then I can't help you!" Geordi said as he threw his hands in the air.
Data was at a loss for how to respond. He wanted Geordi's advice, but he had given his word to Tasha.
"Data is this about someone in particular? Did something happen during the incident with the Tsiolkovsky?" Geordi inquired.
He didn't have much to go on, but Data had been acting strangely since then.
"I need your advice Geordi," Data said.
"Data," Geordi said in a warning tone. "You aren't giving me much to go on here."
Data contemplated his options. He desperately wanted Geordi's advice, but he was concerned about the promise he had made to Lieutenant Yar.
"I find that my neural pathways have become increasing occupied with thoughts of something," Data said, trying to explain.
"Something?" Geordi questioned as he gave Data a look of disbelief.
"Someone," Data corrected.
Before Geordi could open his mouth to ask who, Data put his finger up to stop him.
"I gave my word, Geordi," Data stated.
"Then what do you want my advice on?" Geordi questioned.
"I have received conflicting verbal and nonverbal signals. At times it seems the individual in question enjoys my company. At other times, they appear to be frustrated by my presence," Data explained. "I find that despite the number of times I replay the memory engrams in question, I am incapable of understanding this routine change of heart."
Before Geordi could respond, Data continued.
"I have catalogued numerous occasions in which this individual appears to experience sexual arousal," Data dropped his voice low and added, "in my presence."
Geordi's eyebrows hit the ceiling.
"Data how can you know? Maybe you're interpreting something other than the way it's intended," Geordi suggested.
Data shot Geordi a look that he had long ago learned meant 'are you serious?' He knew Data didn't mean anything by it – other than to assert that his analysis was accurate.
"I have observed that their heart rate, blood pressure, and breathing all accelerate. They appear to lose concentration. On 39 separate occasions this coincided with them observing me at length," Data said.
Geordi hadn't been expecting that.
"And there are other signs," Data stated cryptically. "But I would rather not discuss that on the turbolift."
Geordi nodded.
"So, are you asking me for advice because you like this attention and want to pursue it? Or, because it is unwelcome, and you want it to stop?" Geordi asked.
Data was his best friend. He didn't want to make any assumptions about the situation. If Data was on board with pursuing this, Geordi would be happy to do whatever he could to help. If Data was bothered by this, Geordi was ready to go on the defensive for his closest friend.
"As I said, my neural net is increasingly occupied with thoughts of this person," Data replied. "But I am afraid my behaviour has hurt them."
"How Data?" Geordi asked.
"I gave my word," Data replied mysteriously.
Geordi sighed.
"Computer, resume," Geordi said, annoyed. "I know you're trying, Data. But I can't help you much if you can't give me more information to work with."
Data nodded in understanding. Geordi put his hand on Data's shoulder and gave him a reassuring pat.
"But I'm here whenever you're ready to fill me in," Geordi smiled.
"I will see you in eighty-three minutes outside of the holodeck," Data said as he stepped off the turbolift.
Tasha was running, pushing herself harder than she knew she should.
The burn felt good.
She could feel the wind on her face, each beat as her heart pumped blood through her body, and every pounding footfall that fell on the rocky path below her.
The rhythm of her run felt great.
Every kilometre was earned.
But to Tasha, the high was worth it.
As of late, running had become her release. It allowed her to get lost in the surroundings of the landscape around her. This was technically one of Worf's running programs and she was grateful they liked to swap holodeck workout programs. She always marvelled at how he knew just the right scenery to escape to.
Today's run was the Kola Peninsula. Worf had told her it was so far north on Earth it experienced the "midnight sun." The coast was both steep and high, running along the bay of the White Sea.
A small alert from the holodeck notified her that her time was almost up.
She pushed herself the last leg of her run. She felt alive. She felt in control.
Tasha began to reduce her speed and within two minutes had slowed to a walk.
She stretched and felt her body begin to cool down.
"Computer, end program," she ordered.
Stepping over to her Parrises Squares bag, Tasha found a cooling flannel and a canteen. She took a long drink of water and then wiped her face with the flannel.
Tasha replaced the items back into her bag and called for the arch.
As she stepped through all she could think about was how she was exhausted, and how much she couldn't wait to step into a hot bathe.
Or a cold shower. She said internally.
"Geordi," she said with a short nod to her friend.
She couldn't bring herself to make eye contact with Data.
"Commander," she said, greeting him.
"Hello, Tasha," Geordi said. "Good run?"
She had clearly pushed herself. Her face was red from the wind and the exertion.
Data thanked whoever his creator had been that he the had some ability to control his sexual programme because the sight of her standing there – panting, sweaty, lips swollen – had triggered the memory of her looking the same in sickbay following their coupling.
"Ugh…...yeah," Tasha said after a noticeable pause.
She hadn't meant leave Geordi hanging but she was having a hard time focusing.
Data and Geordi were preparing to go rowing.
Why oh why did he have to show up in that right after she'd managed to gain some semblance of peace? Her mind screamed as she tried to tear her eyes away from the Second Officer.
She had spent the last hour feeling so wonderfully free.
And now there he was, in that short crew uniform that hugged the sculpted muscles of his thighs and left little to the imagination. She let her eyes wander up the length of his bare arms, greedy for every inch of his exposed pale synthetic skin.
As she visually traced the line of muscle from his clavicle, up along his neck, past his chin, and to the golden lips that had been so surprisingly sweet and soft.
She looked away quickly, unable to bring herself to meet his eyes.
"Um, OK. We should probably get going," Geordi said awkwardly as he looked back and forth between the two of them. "You alright, Tasha?"
"Yeah, just knackered," she replied quickly, snapping back to reality.
Data and Geordi stepped into the holodeck properly and Geordi called up the crew programme he had put together for them.
Geordi loved the water and Data was always eager to spend time with Geordi.
As they stepped into the small sculling boat designed for two, Geordi couldn't help but ask the obvious.
"Data, were you asking me about Tasha?" Geordi asked.
"I cannot answer that question, Geordi," Data replied.
Geordi exhaled heavily.
He counted both Tasha and Data among his closest friends.
If something had happened between the two, the last thing he wanted to see was them not be able to figure it out.
Tasha stepped out of her shower and onto the cold tile of the lavy in her quarters. Towelling her hair, she felt a shiver run down her spine.
The cold shower hadn't done much to redirect her thoughts and it had done even less for the aching muscles in her legs. She slipped into her dressing gown and padded across the carpet to her replicator.
Tasha ordered a glass of real whiskey. She moved to the sofa in her quarters and sat down gingerly, her muscles sore and the movement garnering a considerable amount of pain.
She knew she was pushing herself – overtraining.
Even Worf had commented that perhaps she should consider a day of rest.
But she wasn't sure what else to do.
She had to take her mind off him.
Tasha downed her glass and quickly replicated another one. She grabbed her PADD and pulled up the latest book she had been reading.
Casually flipping through the screen, she found that even the thrilling mysterious adventures of the fictional crew she adored couldn't pull her mind away from the arousal and longing she felt.
She set the PADD down on the table and decided perhaps it would be best to give in and call it a night.
Tasha stepped into her bedroom and opened the built-in wardrobe. As she reached for her sleep shorts, her eyes fell on the casual jumpsuit hanging in the corner. It wasn't anything fancy – a simple one-piece jumpsuit that she retained for the rare events she went anywhere that her duty uniform would be inappropriate.
As a Security Chief these instances were rare, but sometimes necessary.
Tasha pulled it off the hanger and sat down on the edge of her bed.
She had told herself the day before that it would be unethical to pick someone at Ten Forward.
But she needed this.
And maybe, just maybe, getting it from someone other than the Second Officer was exactly what she needed to remind herself that there were plenty of other men out there.
Steeling her resolve, she slipped into the casual suit. After drying and styling her hair she put on a little makeup and checked her appearance in the mirror.
Satisfied, she stepped out into the corridor and headed for Ten Forward.
Ten Forward was reasonably occupied. Making her way to the bar, she recognised it had been some time since she'd last been to Ten Forward in the evening.
"What brings you here, Tasha?" Riker asked from the bar.
"Sore muscles," Tasha said as she rolled her arm around. "Felt like I needed a little relaxation before bed."
"I've noticed you've really been pushing yourself lately. Something on your mind?" Riker said as he took a sip of his synthesised Manhattan.
"No sir, I just love a good holodeck workout," Tasha smiled, hoping he bought her line.
Tasha ordered a whiskey and brought it to her lips, suddenly nervous and eager for something to give her a moment to collect her thoughts.
"Have you ever done it with Data?" Riker asked.
Tasha choked on her drink.
He smiled into his drink and handed her a paper napkin.
"A workout," Riker said innocently. "I joined him for a hike the other day and he really knew a lot about the area. It was a nice touch."
"Oh?" Tasha said, turning away for a moment. "Yeah, I bet that would be."
Her thoughts drifted back to running into him outside of sickbay on the day of the polywater incident.
He knew. He had to have known. A little voice in her mind said.
Thankfully, the door to Ten Forward slid open and Lieutenant Flores from operations stepped in and looked around. She gave Commander Riker a small wave and it was evident he had been waiting for her arrival.
"Well, it seems my partner for the evening has arrived. I hope you find some relief for your sore muscles," Riker said with a wink as he got up and joined the Lieutenant at a nearby table.
Tasha used the opportunity to casually scope out the room. Miles O'Brien and Geordi were at their usual table. To Tasha's relief, Data was on night watch and therefore on the bridge.
There was a group from the archaeology team, Mr and Mr Greenburg-Finch were enjoying a quiet drink, and much to Tasha's disappointment the rowdy group her security team with what looked like a fair share of empty pints along the table.
She knew Ensign Walsh and his friends liked the real stuff. She'd warned him a number of times that he'd be on report if he got into another fight. She wasn't sure what attracted people like him to Security. Sure, he was physically capable of doing the job. But in her opinion, he didn't possess bravery – he possessed recklessness.
Turning back around to the bar, she decided maybe it was foolish to try and pick someone up here. It had been two, maybe three months since she'd last done so.
Ever since her last serious relationship, Tasha had always kept people at a distance. It was a necessity in her role, she told herself. She knew that wasn't quite true. She was afraid of getting too serious, too attached to anyone.
She couldn't go through the pain of losing someone again.
"Hello Lieutenant," a familiar, yet unwelcome voice said.
Tasha turned to see Ensign Walsh standing next to her at the bar.
"Five more please," he ordered, his breath heavy with the scent of beer. "You care to join us?"
"Thank you, Ensign but I don't think that would be appropriate," Tasha replied politely.
"I understand," Walsh said as he grabbed the tray of drinks. "And might say you are looking exceptionally lovely this evening."
Walsh gave her a wink and wandered off back to her table.
Tasha shook her head. In some ways, that kid gave her the creeps.
"What did you say to her?" Gomez asked as Walsh re-joined their table.
"Told I'd see her later," Walsh said with a wink.
"No, you didn't. Don't lie," Jeffords said.
"The blonde?" Adams asked.
Oliver Adams had recently transferred to the Enterprise. He was a Lieutenant junior grade from the USS Dauntless.
"Aye, Lieutenant Tasha Yar," Walsh said.
He glanced around and then leaned in.
"She's real cute bird but she's colder than a prison sentence on Rura Penthe," Walsh said.
"I think that's just to you," Jeffords said.
"Yeah? Well, I think it's because she's into women. She's real close with Counsellor Troi," Walsh replied.
"How many times do I have to tell you? Ickes in Engineering had a buddy that served with her on the Crazy Horse. According to Ickes, she's a real tomcat in the sheets," Gomez said.
"Do you typically talk about your senior officers like this?" Adams asked.
"They do," Jeffords said as he shot a look at Walsh.
"How much you are willing to bet on that?" Walsh said as he looked at Gomez.
Gomez cocked his head to the side as he considered his friend's proposition.
"I'll bet you an entire month of my holodeck timeslots that she's hot to trot," Gomez said. "Sex kitten."
He pawed at Walsh playfully.
"You're on," Walsh replied.
Jeffords scoffed.
"What have I got to lose? If I'm I right I get an extra month of timeslots on the holodeck. And if I'm wrong, I get one unforgettable evening," Walsh said as he took a drink.
"I bet she puts you on report," Jeffords replied. "And to be frank, I hope she does."
He got up from the table and left, feeling very uncomfortable with his security mates. On his way out, there was a moment where considered saying something to Lieutenant Yar. He had a lot of respect for her as an officer. But he knew that Walsh was watching him.
No, he'd say something tomorrow morning when Walsh wasn't sitting behind him, eyes glued to his back.
At 21:30, Tasha decided to call it a night. She had chatted politely with a pair of Lieutenants from the exogeology team for a time. They were married and expecting their first child. They had heard she was from Turkana and had considerable interest in the geology of the planet. As Turkana had left the Federation many years earlier and was designated 'unsafe for travel', they were eager for information.
Otherwise, her evening had been quite uneventful. Hardly anyone had come in that evening and Tasha certainly hadn't spotted any possible prospects.
Probably for the best. She told herself as she bid the bartender good evening and headed back to her quarters.
"Now or never," Walsh said as he gave a thumbs up to Gomez and Adams and headed out after the Security Chief.
"He's seriously going through with this? That wasn't just banter?" Adams asked as he looked from the door to Gomez.
"Ugh, yeah," Gomez replied shortly.
"Have a good night," Adams said as he got up from the table.
Tasha stepped onto the turbolift.
"Whoa, hold the door," Walsh said as he slipped through just in time.
Adams stepped out of Ten Forward just in time to see the turbolift doors close.
"Dammit," he said aloud.
Adams didn't have a clue about where they were headed but he didn't feel right knowing what Walsh was up to. He turned to the nearest computer panel.
"Computer, where are Lieutenant Tasha Yar's quarters located?" Adams demanded.
The Computer system pulled the schematic. Adams studied it for a moment before following the blinking directional lights to the nearest turbolift.
"Lieutenant Yar," Walsh said with a smile as he leaned against the edge of the turbolift.
"I think it's time you went to bed," she replied.
"You read my mind," Walsh said as he took step toward her. "The only question is your place or mine?"
"You are way out of line, Ensign," Tasha cautioned.
Walsh laughed and put his hands up.
"I don't want any trouble," Walsh said apologetically, trying a new tactic.
"Computer, deck 38," Tasha ordered.
"So, mine?" Walsh said with an impish grin.
"Ensign, this is your final warning. I'm going to escort you to your quarters where I will put a level three security lock on your door. You will remain in your quarters until you cool off," Tasha stated.
Walsh cleared his throat and bowed his head.
"I'm sorry, Lieutenant," he said.
"Acknowledged," Tasha replied.
Walsh began fidgeting with his combadge. He wasn't as intoxicated as he was pretending to be, but that was all part of his plan to lull her into a sense of safety.
After a moment, he detached the badge and it fell to the floor. He made a stumbling effort to try and catch it, but Tasha put out a hand and stopped him.
She reached down and retrieved it from the floor.
Standing back up, she extended her arm with the combadge in her hand toward him.
Walsh saw his opportunity and took it. Gripping her extended arm, he pulled her toward him and planted a desperate, sloppy kiss on her lips.
"What the hell do you think-" Tasha started to say, repulsed.
Still gripping her arm tightly, Walsh turned her around, and Tasha's face smashed against the wall of the turbolift.
"I'm sorry, Lieutenant. But you show up and sit alone all night. Now we both know why you were there. Why you chose to wear this," Walsh said as he ran his free hand up the length of her thigh to just below her left breast.
Momentarily taken aback by his statement, she was stunned.
Had I been that obvious? She asked herself.
The unwelcome feeling of Walsh's drunk breath in her ear brought her back to focus.
"Let me give you what you need," he whispered.
That's about enough of that. Tasha said internally.
Pushing off the wall, she threw her bodyweight back against the opposite wall, the shock knocking the wind out of Walsh.
Her leg muscles screamed as she spun quickly.
Walsh reached out but Tasha grabbed his hand.
"Try it again and I break your hand," she said firmly.
"Tasha," Walsh said with a smile.
She pulled his thumb back enough to cause him to yelp and he got the message loud and clear.
"Alright, alright, Lieutenant," Walsh said.
She spun him around and held him against the wall.
"Security team to deck 38, section 18," Tasha said as she tapped her combadge.
Walsh groaned.
When the turbolift opened there were two security personnel waiting outside the door.
"You'll be on report for the next week, Ensign," Tasha explained. "Please escort Ensign Walsh to the brig where he will spend the next forty-eight hours."
Walsh looked upset but said nothing.
"No Computer or PADD access either," Tasha added.
"Are you alright, Lieutenant Yar?" Lieutenant Zeller said as he pointed to her temple.
Tasha touched the side of her face and hissed.
"I'll be fine," she assured them.
When she stepped off the turbolift outside of her quarters, Tasha was still fuming about Walsh.
Ahead, she could see someone waiting outside of her quarters, pacing.
"Can I help you?" she called out to the man ahead.
"Um, Oliver Adams," he said. "Lieutenant junior grade."
As she stepped closer, he could see the gash on the side of her face.
"Whoa! Lieutenant," he said he pointed to the wound.
He took a step toward her and put his hands up.
"May I?" he asked.
Tasha instinctively took a step back.
"What are doing out here?" she asked him bluntly.
"I actually came to see you," he confessed.
Suddenly, she put two and two together and realised he had been one of the guys sitting with Walsh and Gomez.
"What are you guys up to?" Tasha said as she glanced behind her. "This isn't a joke anymore. Walsh is going to be in the brig for the next two days. And unless you want to join him-"
"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Time out," Adams said as he put his hands up. "I came to warn you about Walsh's bet with Gomez, but it looks like you already took care of that."
Tasha eyed him hesitantly.
"I don't agree with the way they conduct themselves. I just transferred from the Dauntless. That was the first time I've ever hung out with those guys and I can promise you it will be the last, sir," Adams said.
Tasha relaxed her stance a bit. She hadn't seen him before. She had recently read the files on the new transfers they had picked up earlier in the day. There was an Oliver Adams and his story seemed to track.
"Now I'm a nurse. Do you think I could take a look at your head?" he asked politely.
Tasha nodded and waved him into her quarters.
She grabbed first aid medical kit from the cabinet along the wall and they sat down on her sofa.
Adams assessed the wound and then opened the pack of a cleaning cloth to wipe away the blood.
"Any loss of vision, dizziness, or headache?" Adams asked as he examined the wound.
"No," Tasha replied. "Really, I'm fine."
"Yeah, that's what all you security types say," Adams said with a warm smile.
"You said something about a bet?" Tasha inquired.
Adams turned her head and began to examine her eyes, first her right eye and then her left. She followed his finger as he trailed it back and forth to judge her response time.
He clicked the light on his torch off and set it back into the medical kit.
"Yeah, they had a stupid bet. Juvenile," Adams explained.
"About me?" Tasha pressed.
"Sir, I'd rather not-" Adams said shyly.
"What was the bet Adams?" Tasha asked, demanding an answer.
Adams sat back, it was evident from his body language that he was extremely uncomfortable with the nature of the conversation.
"Walsh bet Gomez that you would turn down his advances because, well, he implied that you are not sexually attracted to men. And I think that's fine. I want you to know I fully support it," Adams added quickly.
"So, I should be expecting Gomez next?" Tasha questioned.
"No, sir. Walsh was the only one that was going to make an attempt," Adams explained. "Gomez bet that you would welcome Walsh's advances."
"Uh huh," Tasha said nodding as she sighed.
Walsh and Gomez had only been under her command for about a year, but each day seemed to try her patience further and further with the pair.
"Thank you, Adams," Tasha said with a smile.
"For what it's worth, Lieutenant. I'm very sorry this happened to you. Those guys…it's not becoming of Starfleet," Adams said apologetically.
"Well, I appreciate it, but you have nothing to apologise for, Adams," Tasha replied as she gave his hand a small squeeze.
"I'd advise lots of fluids and you should probably stop into sickbay tomorrow just to have one of the doctor's take a look at your injury," Adams said as he tucked an errant strand of hair behind her ear.
Tasha couldn't put her finger on it, but there was something about this young Lieutenant. He was warm, and decent, and it many ways reminded her of her former lover, Alfie, right down to his big, soulful eyes.
Tasha leaned forward and kissed him – slow, tender, and warm.
After a moment she pulled back.
"I'm sorry, Lieutenant. I should not have done that," she said.
She didn't know what had come over her. She didn't kiss her lovers. It was far too intimate.
Only Alfie.
And Data. An annoying voice in her head reminded her.
Oliver looked at her and then down at where she was still holding his hand.
She moved to pull away, but he gripped her hand and pulled it back toward his lips. He planted a kiss on the inside of her wrist but went no further.
He stared back at her, waiting for her to make the next move.
This was exactly what she had been hoping to find. She had never expected it to drop into her lap.
"Are you alright?" Oliver asked her.
"This would only be casual," Tasha advised. "I don't…I can't get involved with anyone on the crew. It's easier for my position that way."
"I understand," Oliver replied as he began to massage her hand.
He leaned in, his lips found her neck, and Tasha decided to let herself go.
He said nothing about the scars on her arms nor did he complain when she'd turned away from him. He was more willing to accommodate her request that he bend her over and take her from behind.
He held her hips as he drove into her- eager and passionate. It was a little faster than she had liked, but there was something desperate in the way that she needed this.
After several minutes, he stopped. He lowered himself down on top of her and placed a kiss on her shoulder. Wrapping his arm around her waist, his hand found her clitoris.
He resumed, this time setting a slower pace.
Oliver Adams was a generous lover.
Rolling her hips against him with wanton abandon, she relished in the feeling of another person touching her. His breath was hot on her back and Tasha was grateful she'd allowed herself this indulgence.
As his fingers continued to rub at her swollen clit, Tasha keened.
"Talk to me," she said, and he had been eager to comply.
"Does this feel good?" Oliver asked.
"Ah – yes," she replied as she ground her arse back against him.
"So wet for me," he said, in a low voice before he nibbled at her ear.
She was struck by the memory of Data saying the same thing in her ear.
"Yes Comm-" she stopped herself and recovered a moment later, "Coming. Close."
She had been so close to saying 'Commander.' Oliver picked up the pace and all she could think about was how much she wanted Data's hands on her body.
The thought of Data driving into her, taking her like this was too much.
She was so close.
Suddenly, the hand that had been coaxing her to release stopped. She felt the warmth of the body on top of her leave as her partner pulled himself off of her.
Tasha was left breathless.
She spun around and looked at the affectionate young Lieutenant, confused by the sudden cease in their activity.
"Hey, what's going on?" he asked her, worried.
"What? Why did you stop?" Tasha asked, as she tried to hold onto the plateau she had reached.
She reached for him, but he put a hand out to stop her.
She could feel her orgasm slipping away.
"Was it something I did?" he asked, concern etched in his features.
"Why did you stop?" she repeated.
"I'm not gonna," he trailed off for a moment before he looked back at her. "Tasha, why are you crying?"
He reached out and gently thumbed away a tear from her cheek.
Tasha grabbed her face and could feel the wetness. She hadn't realised she had been crying. It was evident to Oliver that she was confused.
"You started a few a moments ago. At first, I thought you were just having a good time but," he looked down at the bed.
"I was. I mean, I am," she assured him. "Sorry, this has never happened before."
She reached out and gripped his shoulder. She didn't want this to end. He was sweet and a generous lover.
And she needed this.
She leaned toward him and pushed him back on the bed. Climbing on top of him she gripped his cock in her hand and stroked it a few times, bringing it back to hardness.
As she sunk down on top of him, she loved the way her name fell from his lips. She raised herself back up and then slowly brought herself down on him again until she found a comfortable rhythm. His hands ran up her thighs and came to rest on her hips.
Several minutes in, the muscles in her thighs began to scream and she regretted pushing herself so hard on the holodeck earlier.
Penance. The little voice in her head said.
She convinced herself there had to be a price to pay for this. Because even as she rode this handsome Lieutenant who had been so kind, she was thinking about another.
As her hand found her throbbing clit, she yearned for them to be the pale, deft fingers of the android she longed for.
And as he sat up and began to push up into her, matching her thrust for thrust, taking her over the edge with his lips kissing along her breastbone, she imagined dark brown hair and golden eyes.
Yes, this was penance, and she deserved every second of it. She rationalised to herself as the soreness in her thighs detracted from the pleasure, as she took her release from the Lieutenant.
He rested his head against her chest, panting as he snaked his hands around her back. He held her close and made no move to pull himself out.
Tasha's gotten what she needed, and she smiled to herself as her hand ran down the length of his back.
For a moment, they stayed like that – saying nothing, just enjoying the sensation of their bodies against one another.
Suddenly, it was too much contact, too warm, all too intimate for Tasha to feel comfortable.
She pulled herself off of him and felt a sense of loss as he slipped out of her.
Tasha rolled off the bed and stepped over to her wardrobe to grab two clean flannels. She handed one to Lieutenant Adams and used the other to clean herself. She pulled her dressing gown out and wrapped it around herself tightly.
Despite the fact that she's spent the last thirty minutes naked against this man, she suddenly felt the need to put this distance between them. It may only be a layer of thin, silky fabric, but it's a symbolic barrier that allows her to return to her bed without the fear of becoming too attached.
"Are you alright?" he asked as he tried to spoon against her.
Tasha turned over to face him and planted a gentle kiss on his cheek.
"Thank you," she replied.
"I take it this is a hint that you're not the cuddling type?" he asked. "I only ask because you were pretty emotional earlier."
"Really, I'm fine," she assured him.
"All you security types say that," he winked, repeating his statement from earlier.
He pulled his uniform on and Tasha made a move to get up and see him to the door.
"No," he said as he put his hand on her shoulder.
He gently pushed her back down and Tasha let it happen.
"I can see myself out. Besides, you don't want to get too attached remember?" he flashed her a smile.
"Thank you for understanding, Lieutenant," she replied.
"Just promise me one thing?" he asked as he put his boots on.
Tasha watched as he stood up and stretched.
"You'll get that head wound checked out in the morning?" Adams said as he tapped his temple.
Tasha nodded.
Adams turned and made his way to the door to her bedroom. He paused when he reached the frame and spun back around.
Tasha's stomach dropped. She hated when this happened. He'd said he understood. She braced herself for the worst.
"If you do change your mind and decide you can get a little closer to someone, I'd love to get a coffee with you sometime," he said.
"Goodnight, Oliver," she replied with a small smile.
"Goodnight Natasha Yar," he said before seeing himself out the door.
Tasha waited until her she heard the door close.
"Computer, security lock level two," she ordered once she was certain he was gone.
Tasha rolled onto her back and let the tears flow freely.