Marge was gone. That was about the only positive thing Angela could say about her day.
The nerve of Mother, she thought once she'd finally made it upstairs, after two months of working to reach an okay place, she brings him up again!
'Okay' was the only word to use. She wasn't as distraught as she'd been a few weeks ago. For that she was grateful. Now she was in more of a detached state. It got her through, even if she still felt off. A lot of that could be attributed to Marge's love for deep-fried food, she was positive. After years of Tony's avoidance of empty-calorie foods, her stomach couldn't handle things like pop tarts and gravy with every meal.
Even before Marge left for good, dinner had been the highlight of her day.
As if losing a client, blowing an interview with another, and a petty argument with Jack hadn't been enough, Samantha was off to see Tony in Iowa. Some 'Teacher of the Year' award was being given. As painful as the last couple of months had been, she had been excited to hear about the ceremony in his honor Friday night, to the point where she had toyed with the idea of showing up to surprise him.
"You don't miss the important moments of your best friend's life." Mona once said to her.
It was probably odd to still think of him as her best friend after dropping all communication. But how could she not want to be there for this? She'd been there when he applied to college, was there as he discerned his major, watched him receive his diploma, and watched him flourish into the man he was meant to be. Just because she didn't fit into his new life didn't mean she didn't want to show her continued support.
It was a short-lived fantasy. As much as she would have liked to be in that resilient of a place, she wasn't. Though no longer crying herself to sleep and lamenting every night, she'd reached a point where she didn't want to talk or think about Tony. Her life with him was in the past and she wasn't going to be able to move past it if she kept allowing her thoughts to revolve around him. If she stayed away from the subject, she could push through. Knowing this, Sam had been reluctant to mention the trip, and Angela's initial reaction might have confirmed that apprehension until she heard the reason for the visit. Once her plane took off, it was back to denial.
Fending off her thoughts had been a challenge since Sam's announcement a week before. Possible, but a struggle. Before she spiraled too far down this trail, she dug around in her briefcase hoping to find some task she could jump into tonight that would allow her to sleep in tomorrow. Not much, she discovered. Only some proofs that needed to be read through. It took her no more than ten minutes. She changed into her pajamas after that.
Angela shook her head as she pulled on her slippers. She didn't know how to feel about any of this anymore. The last several weeks were now blurring with her final months with Tony, and the time before his graduation felt like a different lifetime. She'd resigned herself to the fact that this was the way life was now. There were moments of desperately wishing she could go back or undo some decisions that were made, but ultimately, she was settling down. Downtime rejuvenated her. It was when she didn't get to step back that she started to crumble again.
At least Mona had backed off tonight. Apparently, her increasing shortness of temper was helping her get her point across. It was one thing to think about Tony on her terms, usually alone, but other to have someone catch her off-guard. When blindsided, she was left to deal with the aftermath. Like tonight. She was just getting over Samantha's announcement, now yet another push from her mother to call Tony was trying to take her down again.
She refused.
Going back downstairs, she boiled water for some peppermint tea to help settle the greasy meal sitting in her stomach. She was glad Mona had left for her date already. She didn't have it in her for any more conversation. If she was going to fret about anything, it was going to be making yet another call about a replacement housekeeper. Perhaps a different agency this time… If not for Marge stealing her coat, she'd question if the problem was with the housekeepers or herself.
Before going upstairs again, she made a to-do list for the next day. Put out a request for a new housekeeper, catch the seven-thirty train, meeting at The Plaza at noon, staff meeting at four o'clock, pick up dry cleaning, then come back home and make dinner. At least she wasn't totally helpless in the kitchen anymore, she thought as she wrote down the last one. Glad that her mind had refocused, she took her teacup and went back to her room. She had to keep reminding herself that she was getting through this…
She was getting through this.