Chapter 5 - Singing is Awesome

A/N: Yay! Another chapter, and I think you will like it! It's a long one.

Thank you thank you thank you to all who reviewed! *throws virtual brownies into the crowd* You are amazing!

Disclaimer: I don't own PJO, Minecraft, or anything you've seen before.

A few days after the winged hat prank, Apollo noticed that Athena was sitting on the couch with her laptop open and earbuds in her ears.

"Whatcha doing, sis?" he asked, flopping down next to her.

His half-sister glared at him. "Go away," she said sternly, her grey eyes cold. She wished Apollo wouldn't annoy her. At least Hermes knew not to mess with her after she stole his hat.

Apollo's grin was blinding (literally, he's the sun god). "C'mon. At least tell me what you're doing." He craned his neck as Athena tilted her laptop away from him. She stuck out her tongue.

"Never."

But Apollo caught a glimpse of a familiar red button. "YouTube?" he asked incredulously.

Athena snarled. "It doesn't matter to you what I'm doing!"

"Please tell me why you of all people are on YouTube! I thought you said it was full of junk. I, I won't recite haikus for a week!"

Yeah, right, Athena thought grouchily. Apollo would never give up reciting his bad haikus. But then again, if she didn't show him, he would probably try to grab her laptop from her anyway. She sighed in defeat and showed him her screen.

"Are you watching study videos?" Apollo was asking. But that was before he read the title of the video. "Karaoke? Seriously? I didn't know you could sing." He laughed. "That's MY domain."

Athena wanted to strangle her brat brother, but she held back. "I like listening to music without the words," she said, clenching her fists and trying to force herself to be calm.

Apollo gaped at her. "WHY? I LOVE hearing the singing!"

Athena grunted. She seriously didn't get how someone could be so daft. "Some people can't actually sing," she told him.

Apollo crossed his arms. He was pretty sure anyone could sing (whether they sounded good or not was a whole other story). "Oh? Can you give me an example?"

"I don't know!" Athena said, frustrated. "I don't pay attention to the singer, because I'm listening to the karaoke instrumental version!"

Apollo cracked up.

"What's so funny?" Athena demanded.

"I wonder—" Apollo choked out before another bout of laughter claimed him. He clutched his middle and laughed for a long time before he was able to speak. "I wonder how the Olympians sound when they sing!" he gasped before resuming his uncontrollable giggles.

Athena stared at him. "Are you kidding me? You've seriously never heard Ares belting out heavy metal songs when he thinks no one's listening?"

Apollo's eyes widened. The thought of hearing Ares singing made him a bit queasy. "That's disgusting, Athena. He already sounds bad enough when he talks." Athena smirked. "But really," he continued with a big smile, "we should totally organize a karaoke night."

"We?" huffed Athena, but Apollo was already chatting happily away about how awesome he and his idea were. That god.

That afternoon, Aphrodite and Ares were walking down one of the Olympian hallways when a poster caught their eyes. It was taped to a marble column, and it featured a full-page drawing of Apollo holding a book of his haikus. Underneath that atrocity were the words, "Mandatory karaoke night tonight at eight! Participate or go to Tartarus! Perform a song of your choice!"

Ares ripped the poster off the wall, and Aphrodite said something about Apollo being really lame at art. Ares threw the poster on the ground and stomped on it with his size 25 combat boots with the special spikes on the bottoms. "I! WILL! NOT! GO!"

Aphrodite pursed her lips. Even though a karaoke night was a really awful idea, given that the gods most likely had bad singing voices, she wanted to see them embarrass themselves. But there was that second line… her stomach clenched. She didn't want that punishment to befall her boyfriend. "You want to go to Tartarus?" she gasped at him.

"No!" Ares shouted. The poster was no more than a few shreds or paper. "That part isn't for real, Aph!"

Someone coughed. "It isn't?" a voice behind them asked innocently. The two gods whirled around to face Zeus. He was dressed in a—wait, was that a disco suit? Yes. It was a sparkly disco suit with lightning bolt patterns all over it. Ew. Aphrodite almost puked.

"If you don't participate, you WILL be sent to Tartarus. Okay, maybe not Tartarus, but you'll go to the Olympian dungeons for three days, and your only entertainment will be a loudspeaker recording of Apollo reciting haikus."

"Haikus?" Ares whimpered, trying to hold back a scream of terror.

Zeus nodded very seriously. "And limericks."

Ares gulped, visibly sweating. Apollo's poetry did that to him. "Fine, I'll go. But that brat owes me."

"I know just what to sing!" Aphrodite said cheerfully, and she began composing a song in her head.

The gods had decided that they wanted to write their own songs. After all, there probably aren't many songs out there about how awesome Apollo is!

The gods entered the throne room at eight that night. Apollo had set up a stage with a snap of his fingers. He had also summoned a microphone and a stand. Hephaestus had agreed to control the music.

"Thank goodness he didn't try installing a disco ball," Hera muttered to Demeter as she caught a glimpse of her husband.

All the gods took a seat in their thrones. All except Apollo, that is, who jumped onto the stage. He grabbed the microphone. "Ladies and gentlemen, I am Apollo, the extremely awesome sun god! I would like to welcome you to Olympus's first annual karaoke night!"

"Annual?" somebody snorted.

"We'll see how it goes," Apollo said, nodding in their general direction. "But hopefully it'll go good!" He flashed a huge grin at his family. Hestia was by the hearth, and she was smiling back. She was the only one, though, who had a kind smile. All the other gods were sneering at each other, as they had written songs about their fellow Olympians. And they weren't particularly nice songs.

"Alright, who wants to go first?" Apollo asked, spreading his arms wide.

"Can I go last?" Hermes called.

Apollo made a face at him. "That wasn't my question. But sure."

Hermes fist-pumped. Ares noticed that he had that familiar twinkle in his eyes. Uh-oh, he thought.

Apollo waited for a few more seconds, but the gods weren't exactly jumping up to volunteer. "Fine," he said, a not-so-nice smile spreading across his face. "Artemis."

"What?" yelled Artemis. "Can't Ares go first?"

"Nope!" said Apollo cheerfully, handing his sister the mic as she grouchily mounted the stage.

Artemis grumbled and sent a death glare at her annoying twin. "I made up the lyrics to my song myself."

Hephaestus pressed a button on his phone, which was connected to some speakers. Music began blaring through them.

Artemis took a deep breath and began singing:

"I am older than Apollo

But he doesn't realize that.

But trust me, I'm the older twin

And he is just a rat!"

She took a bow. The other gods cheered and clapped. Hermes was hiding a laugh behind his hand. "Rats are delicious," hissed George.

Apollo was beet-red and spluttering. "I AM awesome!" he shouted. "And YOU are the younger one!"

Artemis stuck her tongue out Apollo. "That song disproved it."

Apollo glowered. "Next."

Artemis went back to her throne with a satisfied smirk.

Apollo grabbed Dionysus by the hand and dragged him onstage. "Your turn."

The wine god sighed as the music began.

"My dad sent me to summer camp

It's my least favorite place in the world.

All the kids are nosy brats

And they make me want to hurl."

He glanced at Zeus to see his reaction.

His reaction was an eye-roll. "Really, Dionysus?"

Dionysus tried for a smile. "So…can I not go to Camp Half-Blood anymore?"

"No way."

Dionysus pouted and stalked offstage.

It was Athena's turn next. Poseidon laughed, and she glared at him "You're next, Trout Breath."

"I try to avoid eating fish," Poseidon informed her.

Athena narrowed her eyes and looked down her nose at him. "You're next, Fish Face."

Poseidon grumbled something about "creativity" and "nicknames" as Apollo handed Athena the mic and the music began.

"I don't like my Uncle P.

He's the last person I want to see.

Wait, did I say I didn't like him?

Make that loathe, because he is very dim."

Poseidon glared at her. Athena shot him a mocking look.

"Well," Poseidon said, "it's my turn next. I will get my REVENGE!" Lighting flashed and thunder boomed while he made an evil face.

Athena deadpanned. "Come on, Poseidon. Really?"

Poseidon shoved Apollo off the stage and started singing.

"Athena thinks she's so smart,"

he belted.

"I am," said Athena. "YOU are not."

The sea god ignored her.

"She's always pestering us to use big words.

But she never seems to use them herself."

"Imbecile," Athena muttered.

"Her using one is unheard."

"Unheard OF," Athena corrected.

"I had to make it rhyme!" Poseidon protested.

Athena raised her eyebrows.

"Poseidon thinks he's so smart.

I'm always telling him to use big words.

But he never bothers to take my advice

Because he has the brain of a bird."

Poseidon gaped at her.

"That's a better rhyme," Apollo announced. "I should know; I'm the god of music and poetry."

"We KNOW," snapped Artemis.

"Dad's turn!" Apollo said loudly, pushing Athena and Poseidon off the stage.

Zeus smiled smugly. "I shall sing a song about being king!"

Poseidon groaned.

"Ohhhhhh…

I am the king of Olympus!

Everybody knows it's true!

I really like to date—oops, sorry Hera, you weren't supposed to know that!

There's nothing that I can't do!"

"Yeah, right!" Hera shouted.

Zeus frowned at her.

Hermes sniggered. "Sorry Hera, you weren't supposed to know that!" he said in a fake deep voice.

"Can't you ever be serious?" Zeus snapped.

"Nope!" Hermes said cheerfully.

"What a child," sneered Zeus. He wasn't wrong, though. His son did in fact look like a young middle schooler.

Hestia sighed. "Will you all just stop fighting?"

"It's my turn," said Hera, standing up and taking the mic from Apollo.

"This song is dedicated to my family."

"How sweet!" Ares said mockingly.

Hera looked daggers at him.

"My family is constantly fighting.

They love to argue all day.

It's actually kind of sad to watch

Because nobody gets their way."

Behind Hera, a voice cleared its throat.

"I would like to sing a song about family, too," said Hestia.

Hera shrugged and handed her the mic.

Hestia smiled. "Thank you.

"My family is constantly fighting.

I really wish they would stop.

After all, we are all related.

I am sick of being the cop.

"All I want is for them to get along.

Is that too much to ask?

You guys really need to cut it out.

It's not that hard a task."

All the gods stared at her for a long time. Hera was the first to burst into a long round of applause, and soon all the gods followed. They stood from their thrones. A standing ovation! Hestia smiled lovingly at them and sat back down at the hearth.

Unfortunately, Ares was next. Hera knew his song wouldn't be as sweet as Hestia's.

"I'm gonna sing a duet with Aphrodite!" he declared.

Both of them climbed up onto the stage.

"Aphrodite is the best ever!"

sang Ares. He sounded positively AWFUL.

"No, Ares is the best!"

sang Aphrodite.

"No, you are!"

"You are!"

All the gods frowned at them.

"Really, guys?" said Apollo.

Ares and Aphrodite scowled and sat down.

Hephaestus, since his turn was next, had to find someone to control the music. He handed his phone to Hermes. "All you have to do is press this button," he told him as Hermes nodded.

He was just about to sing into the mic when Hermes started the music. It was Minecraft music.

Hephaestus stood, there, confused and very annoyed. All the other gods except Hermes had similar expressions.

Hermes grinned innocently. "Oops."

Hephaestus sighed and snatched his phone from the messenger god. But that gave him a good idea for a song.

"Hermes really loves to play pranks.

He can be a bratty brat.

But sometimes they are funny.

Like when he painted "go away" on the door mat."

Hermes took a small bow, a lopsided grin on his round face. "My finest moment!"

Demeter gave Hephaestus a shove back towards his seat. "It's my turn!"

The gods groaned inwardly.

Demeter began to sing.

"Cereal! It is the best snack ever.

In any kind of good or bad weather.

You can eat it alone or eat it together.

Cereal will live on forever!"

"Cereal is disgusting!" called Dionysus.

"Wine is disgusting!" Demeter retorted.

Poseidon joined in. "Cereal tastes like cardboard!"

"Cereal can actually be delicious, Fish Face!" shouted Athena. "Like Fruit Loops!"

That earned her an approving look from Demeter.

"They aren't very healthy, though," Athena added.

Just then, a loud wind filled the throne room as it got dark. The gods shot to their feet, panicked. "MY TURN," somebody boomed. The lights came back on, revealing Hades. He took off his Helm of Darkness. Or his Boo Cap, as his siblings and Hermes called it.

Apollo nervously handed him the mic.

Hades sang in a very deep baritone.

"Why does Demeter think cereal is great?

Cereal is the last thing I want to eat.

It is very bland and has a bad texture.

It's something I throw out and don't keep."

"What?" bellowed Demeter. "How dare you, Hades! Cereal is the best!"

Hades smiled at her. "None of the other Olympians agree."

Demeter turned around to face her family. They were all nodding and cheering for Hades. "Down with cereal!" Artemis shouted.

Demeter fumed.

Apollo tapped on the mic. "I shall now sing the best song ever."

"Is it about cereal?" Demeter asked hopefully.

"No."

She went back to fuming.

"It's about my awesomeness!"

The gods began shouting in protest.

"HUSH!" bellowed Apollo. He started singing over the sound of everyone's voices. He sang a cappella, too, because Hephaestus was too busy protesting with the others to turn on the music.

"I am the awesomest god in this room!

I am so flaming hot!

I love to sing and make poetry!

And because I am so awesome,

I do that quite a lot!"

He looked very proud of himself.

Artemis sighed, burying her face in her hands and shaking her head.

At that moment, Hermes approached the stage. "Apollo, your song was nice and all," he said without sincerity, "but I think it's my turn to sing."

Apollo grunted and helped him onstage.

Hermes took the mic off the stand. "I made up a song about all of you," he said, pointing his caduceus at all the gods in turn as he sang about them.

"Artemis, I know better than to insult you, so you're the goddess of the moon.

Hera, I'll die if I insult you, but I understand you don't like Dad.

Poseidon, I hate to break it to you, but you smell like tuna.

Apollo, I seriously cringed at your song. It was bad.

"Aphrodite, you think you're great, you're really not.

Ares, you're not helping, put away that big old knife.

Demeter, cereal's gross, I hope all yours rots.

Dionysus, you see, you need to get a life.

"Hestia, you're nice to me and super kind.

Athena, you help me with math but you snap when I'm dumb.

Hephaestus, I caught you listening to Minecraft music one time.

Hades, you do realize you're about as scary as a dried plum.

"Dad, honestly, your rhymes really, really stank.

Dearest family, you know I've got to be perfectly frank.

You all deserve a big old prank!"

And with that last line, he grabbed a tub of water balloons out from underneath the stage and began hurling them at everyone except Hestia.

Soon the throne room was in chaos.

Hermes was beaning water balloons at the gods, and they all ran over and stole them. They began a full-out water balloon war. Even Hera and Hestia were participating.

The gods were laughing, running around, and hiding behind their thrones, giggling and trying to avoid getting hit with a stray balloon.

And that is the story of how the gods finally did something fun together.

A/N: I hope you all liked that! I certainly enjoyed writing out all the song lyrics XD

I feel like I gotta address something. The gods are honestly my favorite PJO characters. Their family dynamic is hilarious and they're just really fun characters overall. But I feel like in the books, some of their personalities just felt off, for example, Athena. So I tried to make somewhat different personalities for them while still staying true to their character. I also created a few headcanons concerning things like likes and dislikes. Take for example Hermes's Minecraft sweatshirt. I can totally see him, the god who apparently invented the Internet, loving Minecraft (like me lol).

All I can say is, despite some characters being a bit OoC, I hope I succeeded in having this story make sense.

One last thing: I need story ideas. If there's anything you would like to see, let me know :) (but no demigods b/c there are lots of demigod stories out there, I want to do just the gods.)

Thank you for reading and see you next time! And please drop a review!

Reply to reviews:

BasicallyAnythingTheater: Oh my gods thank you! I'm so glad you like it! :)

IwriteStories111: Awww, thank you for your kind review! :D