Chapter 5
This one was specifically sad for me, and I have no idea why.
It takes place after the S3 episode "Trials of the Darksaber".
As Rex walked through the base, many people gave him nervous looks. He had been sent to see Sabine, but since it happened she hadn't left the gym area. And she had been fighting with anyone who came close. Rex sighed. They had to send him to find an angry mandalorian because they were all afraid. Honestly, Reb was scared too. But the job had to be done.
He wasn't expecting what he saw when he entered. Sabine was punching a punching bag without any gloves or protection, and looked more angry than Rex had ever seen her. Her eyes were gone, enraged, and instead of her armor she was wearing a dark blue hoodie that was usually given to each new recruit.
Rex walked closer, but if Sabine noticed, she didn't care. The bag was almost coming off the roof.
"Sabine," Rex said. Sabine kept punching the bag.
"Sabine, listen to me. What happened wasn't your fault. Stop hurting yourself." With each word he said, Sabine hit the bag harder. Rex didn't think he was getting anywhere, but he continued, "Calm down. They knew what they were fighting for."
"Go away!" Sabine growled, still not looking at Rex. That's progress, Rex thought.
"Stop fighting," he said, "It's not your fault they're dead." That's when Sabine snapped. She grabbed the darksaber, which had been lying behind her, and ignited. The blade was inches away from Rex's neck. Her eyes were mad.
"Sabine," Rex said just to call her attention. Suddenly Sabine's legs gave up, and she kneeled on the ground, sobbing. Kneeling on the ground, trying to make herself look smaller, she looked like the kid she truly was. Rex kneeled next to her then hugged her. That's when Sabine cried. It was the first time ever that Rex had heard her cry.
"It's alright, it's alright," Rex murmured.
Sabine wasn't fine, and she knew it. She knew she'd purposely exiled herself to the gym. She knew she'd hit half the base's staff workers. She knew she'd almost killed Rex. And she couldn't do anything.
She fell to the ground. My fault, my fault, my fault. I've lost. Again.
When Rex hugged her, Sabine almost stood up. It was a new feeling.
Sabine cried. Mandalorians weren't supposed to show any weakness. It ruined your image to cry. But Sabine cried anyway.
They're… they're… NO! Sabine couldn't face it. She'd lost her family once. She couldn't lose them again.
She couldn't lose Hera, who'd accepted her from the start.
She couldn't lose Kanan, who always understood the pressure of being a mandalorian.
She couldn't lose Zeb, who was always willing to risk everything for them.
She couldn't lose Ezra, who although annoying, was also kind and caring.
She couldn't lose Chopper, who was always up to the task of helping her play pranks on the boys.
She had to be strong. She had to be brave. She had to be selfless.
But right now, she couldn't.
"They're -, they're-," Sabine couldn't even say it.
"They're gone," Rex said to her.
Gone.
They were all gone.
Her muscles tensed, and she was suddenly angry. Angry at the Empire, at the rebellion, at the staff workers. But mostly, angry at herself. Rex felt it.
"Don't. Punching things won't help at all," he said. Sabine stayed down for as long as she could handle, and then stood up.
"Are you leaving?" asked Rex. Sabine grabbed the darksaber. She couldn't go back to Krownest. Not now. But she couldn't stay here, on Chopper's base either.
"I… I don't… know," she stuttered.
"Help the rebellion. They need you," Rex said.
"I can't… I can't stay here, captain," Sabine said, "This was their life, and I can't stay in the same place where they lived." Sabine looked sad but determined, and Rex sighed.
"Then what will you do?" he asked. Sabine didn't answer.
"Sabine?"
"I'll leave," she said. Her fault or not her fault, they had still died, and they wouldn't come back. She couldn't stay here.
Because they were gone.