IV. The Mark of Nimueh
It's still early morning when Merlin and Gaius make their way from the castle down to the Lower Town. The people are doing their everyday chores, and even though the sun hasn't been up for long the street is bustling with activity.
Arthur is already up as well because there is a session of the Council that he needs to attend, and Merlin had therefore brought his breakfast up earlier than usual. When Merlin arrived at Gaius' rooms shortly after that, Gaius was just on his way down the stairs. A dead body had been found in the Lower Town and Gaius was tasked with finding out if the man had died due to a contagious disease.
Arriving at the reported place, Merlin can see the people giving the dead body lying in the middle of the backstreet a wide berth. Gaius kneels down next to the dead man. He's lying face down and Gaius turns him around. When Merlin sees the ghostly pale face, the protruding blue veins and the milky white eyes of the corpse, he knows what has happened here, and he grits his teeth. He should have known immediately what was going on. This is Nimueh's doing.
Gaius quickly assesses the body, and the moment he realizes that this man has not died of a natural disease, but that magic was involved in his death, Gaius's brows draw together in concern.
"People mustn't see this. They will panic," he says in a hushed tone, before quickly looking around for something with which to cover up the body.
Merlin has already spotted a white sheet hanging on a clothesline a few feet away and retrieves it. While he covers the dead man's body with the sheet, Gaius makes his way to the next corner to arrange for a cart they can use to bring the body up to the castle.
Merlin remains standing next to the corpse, thinking about what they are going to do now. The last time this man had been the first victim that died due to the poisoned water. That means Nimueh must have released the Afanc into the water reservoir under the castle a few days ago. In this time, the dead man seems to be the first person who died from the poisoned water as well.
Everything had happened just like it had already happened in the other time, and Merlin had been powerless to stop it. Despite the knowledge he and Arthur had brought with them, they had been unable to prevent Nimueh from releasing the Afanc. The death of this man was already one death too many and very soon one of the servants in the castle would die due to the poison as well. And there's nothing Merlin can do because he can't reach the servant in time.
The feeling of hope he has been experiencing so far suddenly turns to hopelessness. This morning had been just like all the others. Nothing out of the ordinary had happened and there had been nothing that could have alerted Merlin that Nimueh was about to attack Camelot — at least, nothing that Merlin remembered after all this time. It had been different with Valiant. The date of the tournament had been set months in advance and all they had to do was wait until Valiant came to Camelot. Nevertheless, Merlin blames himself. He should have been more alert, and he should have taken precautions. He should have cast spells on the water reservoir just in case. Now, it's too late.
When Gaius comes back with the cart, they load up the body and take it back to the castle. It falls to Merlin to carry the body up the stairs to Gaius' chambers once again, and when Gaius begins examining it, Merlin just stands next to him. He's not paying attention, though. Instead, he's staring at the floor, lost deep in thought. Only when the door opens does Merlin's head jerk up, and he turns around.
Arthur is standing in the doorway, a grim expression on his face. From the corner of his eye, Merlin notices Gaius' trying to step in front of the table to obstruct Arthur's view on the body.
"Sire," Gaius says, bowing quickly.
Arthur isn't paying attention to him or the body, however. "I need to borrow Merlin for a moment."
"Of course, sire," Gaius replies, giving Merlin a meaningful look as he walks towards the door.
Once Merlin has followed Arthur outside, he closes the door. Turning towards Merlin, Arthur looks at him, his expression grim and hard.
"One of the servants just fell over dead. It's that monster, isn't it? The one that poisoned the water reservoir and that we killed down in the cistern."
Merlin nods. "Yes. It's the Afanc. We just found the first victim. Gaius is examining the body right now. We have to act fast, before more people die."
"Can you deal with that monster on your own?" Arthur asks, and it's obvious from the tone in his voice that he doesn't like the prospect of letting Merlin go down to the cistern without him.
"Yes, I can. Don't worry about it."
Merlin's determination seems to appease Arthur a bit, because he nods slowly, already deliberating their next steps.
"Alright. My father wants to see Gaius, and once he tells him that we are dealing with something magical, he's going to send me and the knights searching for an evil sorcerer, and he's not going to stop until he finds someone he can blame for it." Arthur swears quietly. "Where did this thing even come from? My father never told me, and he called off the search once we killed the monster."
Merlin grimaces. "It's complicated. The sorceress responsible for it isn't anywhere close to Camelot, though. I will tell you everything tonight, I promise. We can go down to the cistern after dark, and you can tell your father afterwards that I told you it had to be the water, and that once we went down there we found the monster and you killed it."
Arthur nods slowly. "Yeah, alright," he says before snorting. "There's one good thing about this, at least. While I'm searching for a sorcerer that isn't even there, I can at least keep the search away from the water reservoir, so you can deal with the Afanc. You have to hurry though, before someone else dies. Two casualties are already too many."
The look in Arthur's eyes is hard and Merlin knows that he's blaming himself just as Merlin is.
"I will get Gaius on the right track until tonight. Then he can tell your father what we are dealing with," Merlin promises. "I already have an idea."
"Alright," Arthur replies. He takes a deep breath, closing his eyes before facing Merlin again. "Take care of yourself down there, please."
Merlin smiles gently. "I will, I promise. But you really don't have to worry. The Afanc is no match for me."
Arthur holds Merlin's gaze for a long moment, nodding one last time, before opening the door to Gaius' rooms again.
Gaius is still standing in front of the table, but Arthur only glances at him quickly. "The king wants to see you, Gaius. One of the servants just died under mysterious circumstances."
With that Arthur turns around again, and Gaius' eyes flicker meaningfully towards Merlin before he hurries to follow Arthur down the stairs.
A short while later, Merlin is just making his way through the portico at the edge of the courtyard when he spots Arthur, followed by a group of his knights on the other side. They are all clad in their red cloaks and are briskly marching over the courtyard, undoubtedly obeying their king's orders and searching first the castle and then the Lower Town for the sorcerer responsible for the illness.
The expression on Arthur's face is hard, his jaw clenched, and Merlin knows exactly how Arthur is feeling right now. They're both well aware that the search for the sorcerer is a complete waste of time, but Arthur can't tell his father anything about it, so he doesn't have a choice but to follow his king's orders.
When Merlin and Gaius had returned to Gaius' rooms after having informed the king that the illness was caused by magic, Merlin had grabbed a small glass vial and told Gaius that he had an idea. Gaius had shot him a skeptical look, but hadn't tried to stop Merlin when he had left.
Now, Merlin exits the portico and crosses the courtyard towards the water pump on the castle wall. Reaching his destination, he fills a bucket with water from the pump before taking the glass vial from his bag and dipping it inside. Then he fetches a stem of meadow sage that he had taken from a pot of herbs in Gaius' rooms, and puts the green stem with the little purple flowers into the vial, corking it again. Turning towards the castle wall, his back to the courtyard, Merlin casts a spell that causes the meadow sage to wilt and turn brown immediately. The water inside the vial is still actually poisoned and the flower would wilt on its own soon enough, but the moment Merlin kills the Afanc the poison will be neutralized. And this vial of water is the proof he needs to get Gaius on the right track.
Merlin tucks the vial back inside his bag, making his way to the entrance of the underground water reservoir located outside the castle walls.
"Gaius, I know what causes the illness! I saw it!" Merlin bursts out, feigning excitement, while closing the door to Gaius' rooms.
Gaius looks up from examining the arm of the dead servant, and a furrow appears between his brows. "What did you see? Where have you been, anyway?"
"I was under the castle in the water reservoir," Merlin replies. "I came up with the idea that it could only be something in the water, since that's the only thing the man from the Lower Town and the servant from the castle have in common. And when I went down there I saw a monster in one of the pools!"
Gaius straightens up, his eyebrows nearly rising to his hairline. "What kind of monster?" he prompts. "What did it look like?"
"It looked like a person, but it's made of something like mud and walks on four legs. Its face resembled a frog, but with sharp long teeth. I came back here as fast as I could." Merlin pulls the vial containing the wilted meadow sage from his bag, raising it. "And I took a sample of the water from the pump in the courtyard."
Gaius' frown deepens as looks at the brown stem in the vial. "I think I know what you saw," he finally says gravely.
He walks to one of the shelves, grabbing a heavy looking book with dark leather binding, and brings it over to one of the tables. After turning several pages, he finds what he's looking for, and turns the book around for Merlin to have a look. At the bottom of the page is a picture of an Afanc, and Merlin is pretty sure this is the same book Gaius had shown him all those years ago as well. He takes a moment to study the picture, before nodding quickly.
"That's it! That's the monster I saw."
When Merlin looks up again, the expression on Gaius' face is grim.
"That's an Afanc. A creature created by magic. Only a powerful sorcerer can create a beast like that."
Gaius indicates for Merlin to give him the vial. Raising it in front of his face, he takes a closer look at the wilted meadow sage.
"How long has this stem been in the water?"
Merlin shrugs. "Not long. It started wilting only moments after I put it in there. I went down to the cistern after that and then came back here right away."
"We have to hurry then," Gaius says with an urgent tone in his voice. "I will show this to the king and tell him what we are dealing with. Meanwhile, you can start searching for a way to destroy the Afanc. I will come to the library and help you afterwards. Once we know how to kill the monster, I'll tell Uther that it's hiding in the water reservoir. Otherwise, he is just going to order the knights down there right away and get them all killed as a result."
Gaius gives him a meaningful look and Merlin nods, before following him out of his room.
Merlin knows that Gaius is expecting their search in the library to take quite some time, and the last time that had been the case. This time, however, Merlin knows exactly where the book containing a description on how to kill an Afanc is located. He can't just walk to the right shelf and grab the book though, because that would look awfully suspicious. He could say it was just pure luck. His notion that the water is responsible for the illness had already been a lucky coincidence, however. Something like that happening twice would certainly make Gaius even more wary than he already is.
It's already dark outside when Merlin opens the door to Arthur's chambers. He's carrying Arthur's dinner on a tray, and sets it down on the table in the anteroom.
Arthur is standing in front of the window, facing away from Merlin and looking down into the courtyard. His arms are crossed over his chest, and he gives no indication that he's heard Merlin entering the room. A few candles have been lit further back by the bed, and the only light is the fire burning in the fireplace that is casting flickering shadows over Arthur's back.
Merlin pauses for a moment. The sight of Arthur standing in front of the window in the dimly lit room reminds him of the scene that greeted him only a few weeks ago, when he had come back to the castle to talk to Arthur after five years of banishment.
So much has happened since then.
Merlin walks around the table, stopping behind Arthur to look out into the courtyard over his shoulder. A small platform with a stake surrounded by wood has been erected in the middle of the courtyard, and two guards are patrolling around it, their spears held high.
"I'm sorry I couldn't come earlier," Merlin says quietly. "Gaius and I were searching for a way to destroy the Afanc, and it took a while before I could pull the right book out of the shelf without seeming suspiciously lucky again. Gaius was already wary of how fast I had the idea that the water supply is the cause for the illness."
Arthur nods silently without turning around.
"Did you kill the Afanc?" he finally asks.
"Yes. It's dead," Merlin replies. "Everyone who was ill is already getting better."
Arthur keeps looking out into the courtyard for another moment, before taking a deep breath and finally turning around. The expression on his face is unreadable, and Merlin assesses him silently, before pulling a single key on a big metal ring from the pocket of his jacket.
"Gaius gave me the keys to the water supply tunnels. I told him I would convince you to go down there and kill the Afanc before he tells Uther where the monster is hiding. That way I could help you kill the beast with magic without the risk of getting caught by one of the knights."
Arthur nods curtly, facing the window again. The silence lasts for several long moments, and Merlin begins to worry.
"Are you alright?"
It takes another moment, before Arthur lifts his gaze from the stake in the courtyard and his eyes meet Merlin's with a grim expression.
"Yes. Let's go."
With the Afanc being dead already, there's nothing else for Arthur and Merlin to do down in the cistern than to kill a bit of time. The guards in the courtyard have seen them walking through the gates and can therefore testify to Arthur and Merlin having left the castle. That will come in handy later when Arthur tells his father he had insisted on killing the Afanc right away, after Merlin told him where the monster was hiding.
Down at the cistern, Merlin ignites a few torches on the walls with his magic before sitting down on the edge of a pool and using the time to tell Arthur about Nimueh. While doing so, he realizes that he doesn't know all that much about her. Just that she was a High Priestess of the Triple Goddess and on Uther's request used magic to ensure that Ygraine could get pregnant. Afterwards, Merlin tells Arthur how Nimueh came to Camelot disguised as one of King Bayard's servants and had poisoned the chalice Arthur was supposed to drink from at the feast dedicated to celebrating the peace treaty between Camelot and Mercia.
Merlin hesitates before also telling Arthur about the time the Questing Beast had bitten him at the end of Merlin's first year in Camelot, and how Merlin had tried to give his life so that Arthur could live. Just as Merlin had anticipated, Arthur is furious at hearing that Merlin had been willing to die for him. Merlin knows that Arthur had sensed something going on back then, but Arthur hadn't thought twice about Merlin's strange words, especially after Merlin had come back to Camelot safe and sound.
Merlin continues by telling Arthur how Merlin's mother had fallen ill in Merlin's place, how Gaius had decided to sacrifice himself to save Hunith, and how Merlin had finally killed Nimueh. She hadn't been the first person Merlin had killed, but it had been the first time Merlin had killed someone because he wanted to. That had been the day that Merlin had become truly aware of his powers.
After waiting in the cistern for some time, Arthur and Merlin make their way back to the castle. When they enter the Council Chamber, Gaius is there, telling Uther about the Afanc hiding in the water reservoir. Uther has just given the order to send Arthur and a couple of knights down there to kill the beast when Arthur interrupts him, confessing to already having killed the Afanc. Merlin isn't at all surprised that Uther doesn't take those news very well — Arthur has endangered his safety by going down to the cistern without his knights, after all — but in the end Uther is too proud of his son and the courage Arthur has displayed to stay angry for very long.
Even though the monster is dead, Uther gives orders to continue searching for the sorcerer responsible for the illness the next morning. When Gaius points out that only a very powerful sorcerer could have created the Afanc, Uther instructs Gaius to further investigate. Merlin and Arthur have already anticipated that Uther wouldn't let the matter rest. That's the reason they left the remnants of the egg the Afanc had hatched from, the one that bears the mark of Nimueh, down in the cistern for Gaius to find. It's risky, but if Gaius is unable to give Uther a sorcerer responsible for the illness, Uther is going to continue searching until he finds someone he can hold responsible for it. And sooner or later he's going to find an innocent man he can blame for what has happened.
When Arthur and Merlin finally get back to Arthur's rooms, it's just before midnight. Arthur undoes his belt buckle and drops the scabbard with his sword in it onto the big table in the antechamber. Then he sits down on one of the chairs with a heavy sigh, not bothered that he's still wearing parts of his armor and his chain mail. He brushes a hand over his face, before bracing his elbows on his thighs, staring into the flames of the fireplace.
"We've acted fast and still Nimueh managed to kill four people this time," Arthur says quietly. "We have to stop her before she can hurt anyone else."
Merlin sits down on a chair next to Arthur, bracing his folded arms on the table. "The last time she didn't try anything else, until she came to Camelot disguised as Bayard's servant. We have time until then to come up with something."
"Bayard will be here before summer solstice," Arthur points out in a low tone. "Spring is almost over. That's only a few weeks."
Merlin hesitates for a moment, before making the decision to propose another way. "I think we could turn Nimueh into an ally, if we get it right. She was already an ally of Camelot before the Great Purge, and she was even friends with Uther and Ygraine."
Arthur whips his head up, staring at Merlin in bewilderment. "She just killed four people."
"I know," Merlin replies quickly. "But she's probably the most powerful living sorceress and having her on our side could make a huge difference. She only sent the Afanc to Camelot because she's driven by vengeance. She wants to see Uther suffer for killing her sisters. But, in the end, she only tried to destroy Camelot because she thinks it's the only way for magic to be free again."
Arthur huffs and shakes his head in resignation. "Magic will only be free after I become king, and even then, I can't just overthrow my father's most fundamental law the moment I'm crowned."
With that, Arthur gets up from his chair and starts pacing back and forth in front of the fireplace like a caged animal. He rakes a hand through his hair, but when his eyes flicker towards the window and to the wooden stake down in the courtyard illuminated by the light of the torches, he stops again, his fists clenching.
"I just can't bear knowing what's going to happen and not being able to do something," Arthur says through gritted teeth, shaking his head. "You can't imagine what it was like today. I had to stand next to my father and agree with everything he said! You should have heard him talking about intensifying the penalties for using sorcery in Camelot." A disgusted snort escapes him. "Everyone connected to sorcery in any form would have been executed at once. My father even had the guards build a stake already." Arthur makes a gesture in the direction of the window, before looking straight at Merlin. "And we both know that he would have found at least one innocent person to blame for the illness even if we had never found the cause for it. Just remember what happened to Guinevere the last time! There was no real evidence she had used magic to cure her father. He probably didn't even have the illness in the first place, and that's the reason he got better all of a sudden."
Merlin grimaces, but forces himself to keep looking at Arthur. "Um, that was me," he confesses quietly. "I didn't want Gwen's father to die, so I healed him with magic."
Arthur stares at Merlin, eyes widening in disbelief, before his gaze hardens and Merlin quickly holds up his hands.
"I know, I know, I should have thought it through first. I didn't anticipate Gwen would be suspected of using magic and the only thing I came up with was telling Uther that I'm the sorcerer, so he wouldn't execute her."
Arthur looks at Merlin for another long moment, before letting out a humorless laugh. "Knowing my father, he would have gladly executed both of you if I hadn't interfered. And even I was nearly convinced that Gwen had used magic because you being a sorcerer was so absurd that it most certainly couldn't be true."
Arthur shakes his head when the irony of his words register in his mind and a sneer appears on his lips. Finally, he takes a deep breath, exhaling shakily.
"We have to do something. Right now. I can't stand by and watch him hunt down sorcerers or anything magical for that matter and execute innocent people based on hearsay. Not again," Arthur states, his tone firm. "If we do nothing, then everything is going to turn out exactly like before, and we won't be able to fulfil the prophecy. And if you are certain that we need Nimueh, despite what she did, then I will have to be king before Bayard comes to Camelot to sign the peace treaty."
Arthur takes another shaky breath, before turning towards the window again. He crosses his arm in front of his chest, staring outside into the night.
Merlin looks at Arthur's back, and he knows Arthur is right. They haven't been sent back here to just observe and wait, but to take advantage of their knowledge and do better this time. They know what the prophecy truly means now, and that everything lying behind them has only been a part of their way.
"How do you want to do that?" Merlin finally asks when Arthur doesn't say anything else.
Arthur shrugs without turning around. "I don't know. But we have to do it or nothing is going to change."
Merlin thinks about what they could do, but before he can come up with an answer, Arthur's next words snap Merlin out of his contemplation.
"I will kill my father, if I have to."
Merlin's eyes widen in disbelief and the tone in Arthur's voice, utterly devoid of emotion, chills him to the core. He'd never considered that Arthur would go there.
Standing up from his chair, Merlin reaches Arthur with a few short steps and forces him to turn around.
"Arthur, no. Don't even think about it," Merlin says, enunciating each word clearly. "If you try to take the throne by force there is going to be war."
"Then we make it look like an accident," Arthur offers, his voice still eerily calm, but at the same time he sounds like he's miles away.
Merlin grabs Arthur's shoulders and shakes him. "You will not kill your father! I will not let you. Do you hear me?" Merlin says with a sharp tone. "I couldn't let you do it the last time, and I'm not going to let you do it now, either. You won't be able to forgive yourself if you kill him, and in the end it will destroy you."
For a moment, the words hang in the air between them, until Arthur squeezes his eyes shut and his shoulders sag. When he looks at Merlin again, his eyes are full of deep despair and helplessness.
"I won't be able to forgive myself if I just stand by and do nothing," he says, his voice cracking midway through his words. "I have to do whatever is necessary to make sure the future we came from does not happen again."
Merlin nods gently. "I understand. Believe me, I do. But killing your father is not the right way. We have to come up with something else."
Arthur holds Merlin's gaze for a long moment, before swallowing heavily. Finally, he nods.
Merlin exhales after unconsciously holding his breath. He would never have thought that Arthur would actually consider killing his father an option, but the last five years after the battle of Camlann had changed Arthur. Being forced to witness everything around him falling to pieces had broken something inside him as well, and Merlin is glad that he's back at Arthur's side to be there for him again.
"Alright," Merlin finally says, before pulling Arthur back towards the table with him so that they can both sit down again. "Let's calmly think about where to go from here. We have to succeed in making you king before Bayard arrives in Camelot in a few weeks."
Arthur just nods. Merlin keeps looking at him, thinking hard about what they could do. As has been the case often during the last few weeks, Merlin still marvels at how young Arthur looks in this time, and suddenly he remembers something.
"Wait a moment," he says, narrowing his eyes. "You haven't been appointed Crown Prince yet. Your coming of age ceremony isn't going to take place until after Bayard comes to Camelot."
Arthur shakes his head dismissively. "We don't have to worry about that. If the king dies and no successor has been crowned, the firstborn son is going to succeed him. Should that son not have seen sixteen summers yet, a regent is appointed by the Council to rule instead, to prepare the prince for ruling. After that, the regent is declared an advisor to the king once the king turns twenty-one. That means, even though I haven't been appointed Crown Prince yet, I will become king at once. I hardly think the Council is going to appoint an advisor for a few months, and they are not obligated to do so by law, because I have already seen sixteen summers."
"Well, sometimes I'm not so sure about that," Merlin says with a wink.
Arthur rolls his eyes and plucks a grape from the plate containing his dinner, throwing it at Merlin. Merlin ducks out of the way quickly, a grin stretching across his face, and Arthur can't stop himself from smiling slightly as well.
Happy that he managed to brighten the mood a little, Merlin returns to the subject at hand. "As nice as it is to know we won't have to deal with Agravaine as regent, I'm still not going to let you kill your father."
"Well, we can't very well wait until someone does it for us," Arthur comments, tilting his head.
Merlin can't help thinking about all the times someone had tried to kill Uther over the years. It was very close a couple of times.
Guessing Merlin's train of thoughts, Arthur rolls his eyes. "Yeah, I know, but if someone succeeds in killing him, it's going to be a sorcerer and that's the last thing we want."
"That's true," Merlin agrees thoughtfully, and Arthur looks at him, unimpressed. Now it's Merlin's turn to roll his eyes. "Alright, back to thinking on how to approach this. What other ways are there to remove a king from his throne without killing him?"
Arthur takes a deep breath, but he shrugs and plays along. "Well, the king could abdicate."
Merlin can't help but snort at that. "Yeah, that's not going to happen."
It is clear from Arthur's expression that he could have told Merlin that right away.
Apparently deciding they need alcohol to continue this conversation, Arthur grabs the pitcher of wine standing on the table and pours each of them a cup, before taking a large gulp.
"The Council can remove a king, once he's deemed no longer fit to rule," Arthur continues. "They only do that however, when they are sure they can get away with it. Meaning, when the king doesn't have enough supporters anymore to execute them for trying to take power or when the king is no longer sound of mind."
Merlin takes a sip from his cup, deliberating. "Like when the king goes crazy," he says after a moment, letting his finger make a meaningful gesture next to his head.
"Well, no," Arthur replies slowly. "He's still the king then, and there's a very broad definition of crazy. The only reason I could think of that would result in the Council considering removing the king is when he gets old and senile. You know, like when old people reverse back to childhood and become disorientated and suggestible, like they have lost their free will."
Merlin's hand with the cup freezes midair, an idea entering his mind. "That's it."
A furrow appears between Arthur's brows. "What do you mean?"
"Do you remember when Morgana and Agravaine seized the castle, and we had to escape? You came to your senses in the middle of the forest, while we were traveling with the smugglers Tristan and Isolde, and I told you you'd suffered a head wound and hadn't been yourself."
Arthur tilts his head in consideration. "Yes, they thought I was a simpleton."
"Yes, well you were," Merlin says hesitantly. "But you didn't have a head wound."
"What do you mean, I didn't have a head wound?" Arthur echoes warily.
Merlin grimaces, because he knows that Arthur is not going to like the truth about what really happened. "You got injured during the fight, but you didn't want to leave Camelot. We couldn't hold the doors any longer and Morgana would have killed you if she captured you, so… I used magic on you and took away your free will so that we could get you out of the castle."
Arthur fixes Merlin with an incredulous look. "You did what?!"
Just to be on the safe side, Merlin leans away from Arthur on his chair, while raising his hands in a placating gesture. "It was the only way! By killing you, Morgana would have been queen, and everything would have been lost."
Arthur grits his teeth, his nostrils flaring, before he takes a deep and deliberate breath. Finally, he raises his index finger. "You are lucky that your plan worked. And you are lucky that I love you."
Merlin doesn't reply, giving Arthur a moment to come to terms with what he just learned. He knows Arthur is angry, and he can understand why, but Merlin stands by the decision made back then because it had been the only way out.
Arthur lifts his cup and drains the remaining wine in one big gulp. After putting the cup back on the table, he glares at it for several long moments, before taking a deep breath and looking at Merlin again.
"Fine, but what does all of this have to do with my father?"
"Well," Merlin starts, weighing his words carefully. "I could recreate the spell I used on you and make it permanent this time."
Arthur doesn't say anything. He starts tilting his cup on the table back and forth, his brows furrowed in contemplation. When the silence has persisted for an uncomfortably long time, Merlin gives an awkward half-shrug.
"It was probably a stupid idea…" he begins, but Arthur shakes his head, his eyes flickering up to meet Merlin's.
"No, it isn't," he says in a low voice. "It's a brilliant idea. I just don't think taking away his free will is going to be enough. It would only make him highly suggestible, but not unfit to rule a kingdom. Could you do more than that?"
Merlin's brow furrows. "Like what?"
"Like take away his free will and, I don't know… dull his awareness, his ability to follow complex thoughts or to remember things."
"I guess I could, yes," Merlin answers slowly. "But should we really do something like that?"
Arthur's eyes are fixated on the cup in his hand, and for a long time he doesn't answer. Finally, he takes a deep breath, then looks at Merlin again.
"I remember glimpses of what it was like, when I was under your spell. I thought it was a residue of the head wound, just crazy dreams, but I think I'm remembering things that actually happened. I remember hugging a tree once and… well, petting it, I guess. I could feel every texture in the bark, and I was fascinated by it. It was rough and there were these little bumps… Anyway, I was feeling the bark under my fingertips, and I was content to just experience it. I could have done that for hours and been happy just feeling that bark under my fingers."
Merlin thinks about that for a moment. "So, you are saying being a simpleton was nice?"
Arthur shrugs, looking at the table again. "In a way, yes. It was easy, carefree. I had nothing to do, nothing complicated to think about. It didn't even once cross my mind that I should hate those smugglers or that Morgana had killed my men and taken the castle. I just felt content existing in the moment, I guess."
It slowly dawns Merlin what Arthur is really getting at. "You think you can give your father some peace of mind," he says gently.
Arthur shrugs again. "Maybe it will let him forget his hatred of magic. And his hatred of himself for getting my mother killed. And if it does, it would still be too good for him. After all he did."
"Maybe living with that pain inside him for all these years was punishment enough."
Arthur looks up and there's a hard look in his eyes. "I don't care," he says blankly, shaking his head slightly. "My father can't be king any longer. And if that's the only way, we can think of to ensure that without killing him, then that is what we are going to do."
Arthur pulls on the reins of his horse, Hengroen, to make the stallion walk slower and keep pace with the snow-white mare his father is riding next to him. Uther has been telling Arthur about his plan to raise taxes since they rode through the gates, but Arthur is only listening with one ear. He makes certain to nod when it's expected of him, but he keeps watching the people on the streets and how they bow deeply and hurry to make way for their king, his son and the six knights in their red cloaks following behind Arthur and his father. The peoples' eyes are cast to the ground, not out of respect for their king but out of fear of what might happen if they don't bow before him fast enough. Uther doesn't notice any of this, and Arthur can't help but wonder when his father stopped being a king of the people.
Every fourteen days, Uther insists on riding through town after a session of the Council, accompanied by his son and several knights. The reason for this isn't to listen to the wishes and pleas of his subjects, however, but to demonstrate his power. Uther has never been purposefully cruel to his people, but he doesn't care about their interests, and he never has in the past.
Arthur had sworn to do better a long time ago, and he likes to think that he did do better when he had been king. Most of the time, he had had to focus his attention on threats and armed conflicts, though. This time, however, they will succeed in uniting Albion, and then there will be a time of peace where Arthur can dedicate himself to ensuring all his subjects lead a life free of fear or oppression.
Merlin has his back pressed against a wall, watching Arthur, his father and the knights as they ride in his direction, passing through several market stalls on both sides of the street. He has chosen a hideout at the end of the marketplace that allows him a clear view of the town square and the wide street leading towards it.
As usual, Uther and Arthur are riding in front of their small group, which consists of six knights clad in Camelot's colors. Arthur looks deep in thought, while Uther is talking at him, occasionally gesturing with his hands for emphasis.
Merlin takes a deep breath, waiting for the right moment. When Arthur and Uther are on level with a stall offering baskets and blankets, Merlin reaches for his magic. There's no hesitation as he casts the first spell that causes the stall right next to Arthur's stallion to suddenly collapse under its load of goods with a loud crashing noise. Both horses spook and shy away, and with another spell, Merlin provokes Uther's mare to rear up on her hind legs. Uther throws himself forward onto the horse's neck to avoid falling off, but Merlin makes a swift movement with his hand and Uther's right foot slides out of the stirrup. Suddenly losing his hold causes Uther to slide off his horse's back, and just before he lands on the cobblestone pavement, Merlin stops time. With a few quiet words, Merlin casts the spell that is going to take away Uther's free will and dull his awareness. Then he puts Uther into a deep sleep and causes a laceration at the back of his head, before letting him slide to the cobbles gently. Finally, Merlin allows time to continue.
Uther's white mare lands on all four legs again and immediately bolts in the opposite direction. Meanwhile, utter chaos ensues on the street. When Arthur sees his father lying on the floor, he calls his name, jumping from his stallion and hurrying to his father's side. Arthur kneels down next to him, trying to wake him up, but Uther doesn't respond, just like Merlin and Arthur had agreed on beforehand. At the same time, the knights swiftly dismount their horses, and Sir Leon and Sir Pelleas also kneel down next to their king.
Arthur looks up for a short moment, and his gaze flickers to the place where Merlin is hiding. Their eyes meet, and Merlin nods briefly, indicating that it is done. Arthur returns the nod with a barely noticeable movement of his head, before turning his attention towards his father again and ordering the knights to alert Gaius and bring Uther to the castle.
Merlin walks around a corner and climbs up a set of stairs leading to the corridor where the king's chambers are located. He has taken his time returning to the castle to make it look like had spent the whole morning collecting herbs for Gaius. Whenever Arthur is busy with Council matters, Gaius sends Merlin collecting herbs for the countless healing potions he makes, and Merlin has just delivered today's harvest — collected yesterday — to Gaius' rooms.
The two guards stationed on both sides of the landing allow Merlin to pass because he's Gaius' apprentice, and when Merlin reaches the king's chambers, Gaius is just stepping out into the corridor. His brows are drawn together tightly, and it takes him a moment to notice Merlin.
"Merlin, there you are. I just wanted to go looking for you."
"I heard there was an accident in town. Is Arthur all right?" Merlin asks with a worried tone in his voice.
"Arthur is fine, but the king fell off his horse," Gaius replies with a grave expression on his face. "One of the stalls down at the market suddenly collapsed and the horse shied away, rearing up. Uther lost his grip and fell. He suffered a head wound, and he's still unconscious."
Gaius' eyes flicker towards the guards standing on both ends of the corridor, before gently ushering Merlin towards Uther's study a few rooms down. After quietly closing the door, Gaius looks straight at him.
"I fear for Uther, Merlin. Head wounds are a dangerous thing. He might never wake up. And even if he does, there could be permanent damage to his brain."
"Can't you do anything to help him?" Merlin asks, even though he already knows the answer to his question.
As anticipated, Gaius shakes his head. "I'm afraid not. All I can do is tend to the wound itself. But you could do something."
Merlin blinks, looking at Gaius in confusion. "What do you mean?"
"You could heal him," Gaius clarifies, before giving Merlin a meaningful look and lowering his voice. "With your magic."
Merlin stares at Gaius dumbfounded, completely caught off guard by such a request. He had not seen that one coming. He and Arthur had planned everything in detail, but neither of them could have imagined that Gaius would ask Merlin to heal Uther with magic. Merlin's mind reels, trying to come up with a response, but there's really only one thing to say.
"No," he states, quiet but firm. "I'm not going to do that."
Gaius takes a step forward and puts a hand on Merlin's arm. "You have to!" he clarifies, narrowing his eyes. "If Uther dies or is unfit to rule, Arthur will become king, and he's not ready for that yet."
Merlin can't help snorting at that. "I told you to have a little more faith in Arthur. He's a good man, and he's going to be a great king."
"I don't doubt that Merlin," Gaius says, his voice softening. "But Arthur is too young. He is hardly more than a boy, and he doesn't have the experience yet to rule a kingdom like Camelot."
Gaius' voice has taken on a fatherly tone, as if he were talking to a small child and explaining the simplest of things. Merlin grits his teeth. He feels anger rising inside him as he remembers how often Gaius has used that tone of voice to make him do what he thought was best. And Merlin has had quite enough of being patronized by Gaius.
"Arthur is ready to be king, and he will be a better king than Uther ever was," Merlin says with a hard glare, shaking off Gaius's hand. "I will not heal Uther so that he can kill any more sorcerers and magical beings, not to mention all the innocent people wrongly accused of sorcery."
Surprise flickers across Gaius's face at Merlin's sharp tone, but after a moment his eyes narrow. "Merlin," he says emphatically. "You don't understand; you have to listen to me…"
"No, I don't," Merlin snaps, cutting Gaius off. All of a sudden, the anger that has been bottled up inside him flares up, and when he continues his voice is practically a growl. "I'm done listening to you! All you ever did was support Uther in his crusade against magic. You once used magic yourself, you know it's not evil, and yet you stood by Uther's side as his friend all these years and watched him murder hundreds of innocent people! You are a hypocrite, Gaius, and every piece of advice you ever gave me was that of a coward. If you had told Arthur how his mother really died, instead of keeping your promise to Uther never to talk about it again, Arthur would have understood his father's blind hatred of magic, and he would never have started to believe that magic is evil."
Gaius stares at Merlin with wide eyes, taking an involuntary step backwards. Merlin can feel his magic rising to the surface, fuelled by his anger, and he suspects that a golden shimmer has appeared in his eyes. He knows his feelings are only partly justified, at least concerning Gaius, and he tries getting himself under control again. It's just that he is so sick of others telling him what's best for Arthur and for Camelot.
While Merlin takes a calming breath, the words he had just said to Gaius replay in his mind. He realizes that he has just revealed too much, but right now he doesn't care.
"Merlin…" Gaius starts, holding up his hands in a placating gesture, but Merlin shakes his head, not letting him continue.
"Arthur needs me," he says in a clipped tone. "I have to go."
With that, he pushes past Gaius and leaves the king's study.
Arthur is standing by the window next to his father's bed, arms crossed in front of his chest. Uther is asleep due to the spell that Merlin had used, and he's lying motionlessly in his bed, while Arthur is staring out the window. He's still wearing his red tunic and his chain mail, and the familiar weight on his shoulders is soothing.
Gaius had left a short time ago, after telling Arthur that there was nothing they could do except wait for Uther to wake up. Arthur had merely nodded, not saying anything, and he hopes that Gaius interpreted his silence as worry about his father.
The sound of the door opening makes Arthur turn his head and he sees Merlin entering the room. He closes the door, and noticing the troubled and angry expression on Merlin's face, Arthur frowns.
"Is everything alright?" he asks worriedly.
Merlin shakes his head, waving his hand in a dismissive gesture. "Yes, I just…" he pauses for a moment, taking a deep breath. "I was just arguing with Gaius."
Arthur quirks an eyebrow, but Merlin doesn't answer right away. Instead, he makes a quick motion with his hand in the direction of the door. His eyes flash golden, and the wood of the door does as well. Arthur suspects that he has cast a spell that prevents others from listening in.
"Gaius wanted me to heal Uther with magic," Merlin finally explains in a flat tone. "He doesn't think you're ready to be king."
Arthur blinks in surprise, but after deliberating for a moment, he gives a noncommittal hum. "Maybe I wouldn't have been back then," he admits. "So you can't really blame Gaius for thinking it."
"He never truly believed in you." Merlin folds his arms in front of his chest, his body language defensive.
Arthur arches an eyebrow at Merlin's hostile demeanor and the bitter tone in his voice.
"You don't trust him anymore," Arthur finally realizes.
"No, I don't," Merlin replies bluntly. "Not after all those times he convinced me to do what he thought was the right thing. If I hadn't listened to Gaius and had done what my heart told me to do instead, a lot of things would have turned out differently. And let's not even start about that damn dragon! His advice was just as selfish."
"What do you mean?" Arthur wants to know hesitantly, and Merlin starts walking up and down the room.
On their first night in this time, Merlin had tried telling Arthur the most crucial things that had happened back then and that Arthur hadn't been aware of so far. But events that had happened over the course of fifteen years couldn't just be summarized in a few hours.
"Gaius told me not to tell Morgana that her dreams were actually visions," Merlin begins. "The dragon wanted me to kill her outright, so Gaius' approach seemed the way to go. If I had just told Morgana that I have magic and that she wasn't alone, then maybe she wouldn't have sided with Morgause and become obsessed with killing you and Uther."
Arthur heaves a sigh, shaking his head. "What Morgana did wasn't your fault. It was my father's doing. Maybe you and I contributed to it as well, I don't know, but you alone are certainly not to blame for what she did."
Merlin doesn't look convinced, and Arthur can see that he's still angry.
"What else did Gaius tell you to do?" Arthur asks after a moment, wanting to better understand where Merlin's anger is rooted.
Merlin stops his pacing and shakes his head, his lips tight. "There were lots of things. The point is, I never truly realized how much of a coward Gaius actually is. When Uther began the Great Purge, Gaius gave up practicing magic and stayed Uther's friend. He remained by his side all those years, and he stood by watching hundreds of sorcerers getting beheaded or burned at the stake. Gaius may have saved my father back then, but one good deed cannot rectify the fact that he stood right next to Uther and supported him while he was killing all those people."
Arthur's gaze flickers towards his father, who is lying in his bed without moving, a thick bandage around his head. "Maybe you're right, and Gaius is a coward," Arthur says, taking a deep breath. "But he was always loyal to Camelot, and he has been a good friend to me. It's easy to judge someone when you haven't been in the same situation yourself."
Merlin doesn't say anything, and Arthur keeps looking at his father. He himself had stood by his father's side and had done nothing. He hadn't seen, or hadn't wanted to see, that his father was wrong in so many things, and he had supported him because Uther was his father and his king. He would be a hypocrite if he condemned Gaius for something he was guilty of himself. Only now, after he had seen where all of this would end, is Arthur able to take action and make a different decision. And in doing so he is now responsible for his father lying in his bed, unconscious, after Merlin had used a spell to take away Uther's free will.
"We did the right thing," Merlin says quietly, as if he had read Arthur's thoughts.
Arthur looks up, nodding slowly. "I know, but that doesn't make it any easier."
Merlin answers with a forced smile, but before Arthur can say something in return, the door opens behind them.
Arthur turns around, and he's surprised to see Morgana entering the room. When she notices Arthur she pauses, the door still in hand. Their eyes meet, and she offers Arthur a small, barely-there smile.
"I have just spoken to Gaius," she says softly. "He says there's nothing we can do right now, and that we will have to wait until Uther wakes up before we'll know for sure if he will be alright."
Arthur nods. "Yes, he told me that as well."
Morgana presses her lips together, before her eyes fixate on Uther with a worried look. After a moment, she closes the door and crosses the room. When she sees Merlin is standing next to Arthur, she greets him with a small smile as well.
"Hello, Merlin."
"Milady," Merlin replies, giving a slight bow.
Morgana pauses beside Uther's bed, crossing her arms in front of her chest as if trying to support herself.
Arthur looks to Merlin, catching his gaze, and Merlin makes a gesture with his head in Morgana's direction. Arthur knows that he has to talk to Morgana eventually, but he has no idea what to say to her. It's hard for him to even look at her, and he's grateful that they don't normally cross paths in the castle. Now it looks like he can't postpone it any longer.
"You can go, Merlin," Arthur finally says, and Merlin shoots him an encouraging look before leaving the room.
Arthur, meanwhile, walks around the bed to stand next to Morgana. "Are you alright?" he asks cautiously and Morgana nods, not averting her gaze from Uther's sleeping form. She seems to be deep in thought and that's just fine with Arthur, because that way she won't notice that Arthur is completely out of his depth here.
"He always tried to be a good father to me," Morgana finally says quietly. "Most of the time, he treated me like I'm his real daughter."
Arthur's lips twitch slightly when he remembers that she actually is Uther's real daughter, but this is not the right time to tell her that yet.
"He cares about you a great deal," Arthur answers instead.
Morgana nods faintly. "I know."
There's silence between them for a few moments, until Morgana lifts her gaze hesitantly, as if she has to force herself to look at Arthur.
"If he doesn't wake up, or if he isn't himself anymore, you will be crowned king."
Arthur isn't sure how to respond to that, so he just nods.
Morgana presses her lips together. "What happens to me then?"
This question only serves to deepen Arthur's confusion. "What do you mean?"
"I'm Uther's ward," Morgana answers with a shrug, her face blank. "You have no obligation towards me."
The words take a moment to reach Arthur, but when they do his eyes widen in disbelief. "You think I would send you away?"
"You could," Morgana says quietly, averting her eyes again.
Arthur's breath catches in his throat, caught completely off guard by Morgana's assumption. Finally, he shakes his head. "I would never do something like that," he states, his tone firm. "Do you really think I would just throw you out of your rooms and turn you adrift?"
Morgana tries to downplay it, but her smile is forced. "No, of course not."
Arthur assesses Morgana silently for a long moment, before shaking his head. "Then why did you bring this up?"
Morgana averts her gaze and when she starts speaking, she seems to measure her words carefully. "You have been acting differently lately. More guarded and tentative around Uther and me. I can't really explain it, but you haven't treated me like an obnoxious little sister anymore, and more like you're wary of me for some kind of reason."
Arthur can't stop himself from grimacing, and he grits his teeth. He had tried so hard to act like he normally would, but apparently he hadn't quite succeeded.
Morgana looks up when Arthur doesn't answer, and the expression in her eyes is worried. "Was it something I did or said? Maybe during the tournament?"
Arthur firmly shakes his head. "No, Morgana. You didn't do anything, I promise. I've just had a lot on my mind recently, what with the tournament and the monster that poisoned the water supply. That's all."
The look in Morgana's eyes tells Arthur that she doesn't truly believe him, but Arthur isn't sure what else he can say. She's right, he has been wary around her, and he has been carefully considering what words to use each time they have spoken to one another. It's hard for him to look at her and not instantly remember how she had betrayed him for years, plotting to kill him behind his back.
"I have to go and see where Merlin went," Arthur finally says, because all of a sudden he can't stand looking at Morgana any longer, and he feigns a wry smile. "If I don't keep an eye on him, he's going to neglect his duties and lounge around lazily all day."
Arthur is pretty sure Morgana recognizes his excuse for what it is, but she smiles faintly and nods.
"Don't be too hard on him. He seems like a good servant."
Arthur snorts and makes a show of rolling his eyes. "If he's actually doing his job, he's not half bad."
Morgana's smile becomes a bit wider and when Arthur walks past her on his way to the door, he awkwardly puts a hand on her shoulder, before leaving the room.
When Arthur comes back to his chambers late that night, he walks straight past Merlin towards his bed and throws himself onto the covers face first, not caring that he's still wearing his clothes and his boots.
"Please tell me this day is over soon," he groans, closing his eyes. Every muscle in his body feels tired and heavy, but despite his exhaustion the events of the past day keep spinning through his head relentlessly.
"Considering that it has been dark outside for quite some time now, I would say the day is going to be over soon," Merlin informs him from across the room.
Arthur turns over onto his back and scrubs a hand over his face. "Thank the gods."
His eyes flicker towards Merlin, who has been folding one of Arthur's shirts and is just putting it into Arthur's wardrobe. When the shirt is put away, Merlin lets the still open door fall closed with magic and a flick of his wrist. Afterwards, he walks over to the bed and sits down next to Arthur on the edge of the bed.
"What happened?" he asks gently.
"My father's Council happened," Arthur replied with a sigh. "Gaius told them that it could take a while until my father wakes up and that there's a possibility he might no longer be the man he was. They fear for Camelot's future. The kingdom needs a strong king. The war with Mercia has not been over for long, and they're afraid that Bayard could attack again, instead of signing the peace treaty like it was agreed upon. They wanted to send a messenger to Bayard to postpone the celebrations, but I was able to dissuade them. They have appointed me Regent of Camelot, but I need to be king before Bayard arrives, and Nimueh isn't the only reason for that. The Council is right, Camelot can't appear vulnerable in front of Bayard, or the freedom that we fought so hard for isn't going to last." With a heavy sigh, Arthur's eyes flicker up to meet Merlin's. "And I did find out who informed Agravaine that my father wasn't fit to rule any longer the last time. It was Lord Allendale. He wanted to send for Agravaine to act as an adviser for me until I would come of age, if my father was not fit to rule any longer, but Geoffrey told him that there is no legal requirement for an adviser, and I was to be appointed regent right away, even if I hadn't been appointed Crown Prince yet. I swear to you, if Agravaine shows up here I will kill him before he can set one foot into the castle."
"I think you should try talking to him first," Merlin says with a tilt of his head. "Maybe you can convince him to accept you as King of Camelot if you tell him that you deeply regret what your father did to your mother and to Tristan de Bois and that you have every intention of doing better than your father. You are not only Uther's son, but the son of your mother as well."
Arthur regards Merlin silently for a long moment, marvelling at how Merlin is still able to see the good in people — even in those who have already proven the opposite. At the same time, Arthur wonders when he himself has lost that ability. He knows that Merlin could be right regarding Agravaine, but just can't bring himself to place even a bit of trust in his uncle.
"I don't want Agravaine anywhere near Camelot," Arthur clarifies, his tone firm.
Merlin gives a noncommittal shrug. "At least you could keep an eye on him if he stays here."
A snort escapes Arthur, and he shakes his head. "Yeah, and watch him plot against me with Cenred or Odin or someone else right under my nose, where he can tell them everything about Camelot. I don't think so."
"I understand your point, and it's your decision. I just ask you not to judge him too rashly."
Arthur regards Merlin silently for a moment, before sighing and giving a nod.
A pleased smile appears on Merlin's lips. "And now come and eat something. Dinnertime was hours ago. You must be hungry and the cook made boar stew just for you."
Merlin wiggles his eyebrows, and Arthur has to admit that the prospect of a bowl of boar stew nearly succeeds in pulling his thoughts away from Agravaine.
"But the stew is surely cold by now," Arthur remarks with a pout.
Merlin's eyes flash golden and when Arthur looks over to the table, he can see faint steam rising form the bowl.
"Not anymore," Merlin says with a grin.
Arthur can't help but laugh at that. "I take back everything I've ever said," he declares solemnly. "You are the best manservant in all of Albion."
Merlin smiles broadly, visibly pleased, before standing up and walking over to the table in the anteroom. Arthur pushes himself up with a sigh and follows. After sitting down on a chair opposite of Merlin, Arthur notices that there is only one bowl on the table.
"What about you?" he asks, picking up the spoon, but Merlin makes a dismissive gesture with his hand.
"I already ate. Dig in before it gets cold again."
Arthur does as he's told and starts eating. As a matter of fact, the hot and hearty stew is exactly what he needs right now. Regardless, he can't just push everything that has happened today away so easily.
"We should make sure that the spell does what we intended it to do, before we let my father wake up for real," Arthur says between bites.
"Agreed," Merlin replies, before tilting his head in consideration. "Though I'm not sure if I like the lack of faith you have in my magical skills."
Arthur rolls his eyes, but the corners of his mouth twitch, and Merlin's grin tells Arthur that he had intended just that.
"How long do you want to let him sleep?" Merlin asks after a moment.
Arthur thinks about it, before shrugging. "Long enough to make it seem plausible, but there has to be enough time for the coronation before Bayard arrives."
"Alright, we just see how it goes."
Arthur takes another bite, and suddenly becomes aware of how absurd this whole conversation actually is. He lets out a humorless laugh, shaking his head.
"You know, this is exactly what my father was always afraid of: a sorcerer worming his way into Camelot's very heart to overthrow him. I guess he just never imagined his son could be working together with that sorcerer."
"Arthur, if you're not sure about this…" Merlin begins, but Arthur cuts him off.
"No," he says, his tone firm. "No, I am sure. I just couldn't help but notice the irony in all of this."
Finally, Arthur puts the empty bowl aside, and Merlin pours both of them a cup of watered wine. Taking his cup, Arthur drinks from it, before leaning back in his chair. It feels good to be able to confide in Merlin, and even though his problems don't just suddenly vanish as a result, at least he doesn't have to face them alone.
"How did it go with Morgana after I left, by the way?" Merlin asks after a moment.
Morgana being one of the problems that Arthur definitely wants to vanish. He takes a deep breath. "She thought I would send her away once I'm king, because she's my father's ward and I don't have any obligation towards her."
Merlin's eyes widen in surprise. "Really?"
"Yes," Arthur confirms with a meaningful look. "Apparently, I've been acting weird lately; more guarded, she called it. I've tried so hard to act normal. Guess I didn't succeed."
"Someone was bound to notice that we are different." Merlin shrugs, before letting out a humorless laugh. "Gaius probably thinks my magic has suddenly made me all-knowing."
Arthur raises an eyebrow and Merlin shakes his head, making a vague gesture with one hand. "When we were arguing today, I mentioned a few things I shouldn't know about."
Arthur doesn't comment, and he doesn't blame Merlin for revealing too much either. After all, he had assumed that acting normal in this time would be easier, as well.
Taking a deep breath Arthur continues. "What do I do about Morgana now? How am I supposed to act around her? Every time I look at her, I see her standing over me on the battlefield at Camlann with such hatred in her eyes, intent on killing me. And then she's making a joke, and suddenly I see my sister when she was just a child, laughing and dancing on the training grounds after she had bested me in a sword fight for the first time." Arthur presses his lips together, catching Merlin's gaze. "I don't want her to be my enemy again."
"It won't come to that this time," Merlin replies. "Morgana despises Uther, but she only started to hate him after he ordered Gwen to be executed for using magic to heal her father and hunting down Mordred and the druids soon after. His decision not to send help to Ealdor when it was attacked by bandits, and sentencing Gwen's father to death for treason after that, only made things worse. In this time, you will be king soon and none of that is going to happen. When Morgana's dreams start, we can tell her that they are actually visions. And when her magic manifests, she won't have to be afraid, because I can help her control it. Maybe the ban on magic will already be lifted by then, and even if not, you can tell her that you accept her the way she is, and she doesn't have to be afraid. Morgana has always believed in you. It was Morgause's influence that made her think you were just like your father, and out of fear her magic would be detected, she started to believe it."
Arthur's gaze rests on the table in front of him, and he wishes that he could share Merlin's confidence. He remembers Morgana telling him that he was a better man than Uther, but in the end she had betrayed him, and she had stopped at nothing to kill him.
"And if that's not enough?" Arthur asks quietly. "What if Morgana is truly evil at the bottom of her heart, and there's nothing we can do to prevent her from turning bitter and cruel?"
Merlin shakes his head emphatically. "No one is truly evil. It's the decisions we make and the situations we find ourselves in that make us who we are. Everyone has the potential to turn evil and do horrible things under the right — or, well, I guess the wrong — circumstances."
Arthur still has trouble believing Merlin's words, and Merlin seems to notice it.
"Just after Uther had sentenced Gwen's father to death, Morgana hired a man named Tauren and his thugs to kill Uther."
Shock and disbelief envelope Arthur's mind, and he stares at Merlin, but before can manage to say something, Merlin continues.
"But Morgana changed her mind and she rescued Uther from Tauren and his men at the last moment. I was there, I saw it. Despite what Uther had done, Morgana decided to do the right thing in the end, and if you believe in her and don't give her a reason to doubt you, she's never going to become the Morgana she became in the other time."
Arthur takes a deep breath and closes his eyes before facing Merlin again. He wants to believe him, but he can't just ignore what Morgana has been capable of. There is too much at stake.
Merlin seems to be able to read Arthur's thoughts, because a look of understanding appears in his blue eyes. "And if I'm wrong, then I promise you I will take care of Morgana before she can hurt anyone."
Arthur knows this means Merlin is going to kill Morgana if it should be necessary. Just like Arthur, Merlin is prepared to do whatever it takes to make sure everything turns out for the better this time. Arthur hopes it won't come to that, but he's grateful nonetheless for Merlin's promise, because he isn't sure if he would be able to kill Morgana despite knowing what might happen otherwise.
Exhaling shakily, Arthur pushes the thought about not being able to save Morgana away for now and instead tries to think about how he can show Morgana that he loves her and that she can trust him. He had been under the impression that she knew how much he cared about her, but their conversation this afternoon made him realize that this might not be the case.
"I could tell Morgana that she's my half-sister and that I want her by my side to rule Camelot," Arthur offers after a moment.
Merlin nods thoughtfully. "I think that's a good idea. You could tell her that your father mentioned it after his accident. And you should probably tell her that she has a half-sister as well. It's just a matter of time before Morgause comes to Camelot, and if we want Morgana to remain on our side we mustn't give Morgause any leverage."
Arthur takes a sip from his cup, contemplating Merlin's suggestion. Just as he is considering waiting until after his coronation to talk to Morgana about all of this, Merlin's next words pull him from his thoughts.
"Even more than that, you could actually rule with Morgana by your side, and by giving them an heir to the throne you could get the Council off your back as well."
Arthur chokes on his watered wine and starts coughing. He puts the cup down and blinks against the tears welling up in his eyes. When he's finally able to breathe again, he outright stares at Merlin.
"I will most certainly not marry Morgana and get children with her!"
To Arthur's surprise Merlin snorts a laugh, before shaking his head in amusement. "Of course not. That's not what I meant. I thought about crowning Morgana Princess of Camelot. She would be your successor to the throne if something happens to you, and this way you could also postpone marrying for another few years. You could even give Morgana a seat on the Council."
After getting over his shock, Arthur deliberates Merlin's words, finally nodding approvingly. "That's a very good idea, actually," he says and Merlin grins proudly. "And as for marrying, I'm not going to marry anyone. If Morgana becomes Princess of Camelot, she can marry and continue the Pendragon lineage instead."
Arthur extends his arm over the table towards Merlin, taking his hand. Merlin meets his eyes with a fond expression, but at the same time he shakes his head gently.
"We have to be reasonable, Arthur. If you want the kingdom and Albion to live on, you will need an heir yourself. Morgana is only your half-sister and even if you crown her Princess of Camelot, her children will not be undisputed."
Arthur takes a deep breath, closing his eyes, but he has to admit that Merlin is right. It would be a beautiful thought that he could ignore his Council and rule with Merlin at his side, but he's aware of his responsibilities towards his kingdom, and he knows that he will have to make sacrifices. There are some sacrifices, however, that he's not ready to make.
"We will find a way to make that happen, but I will not give you up," Arthur states, his tone utterly resolute, squeezing Merlin's hand softly.
Merlin smiles warmly. "I didn't say that, and I wouldn't allow that anyway."
They share a long look, and Merlin's thumb strokes gently over Arthur's hand.
Arthur knows that Merlin is going to be by his side every step of the way ahead of them, but the task they are facing seems almost overwhelming.
"Do you really think we can turn all our enemies into allies?" Arthur asks quietly. "Morgana, Morgause, Agravaine and Nimueh?"
Merlin shrugs, a soft smile on his lips. "We can only try and hope for the best. It's not going to work every time, I guess. I hardly think that we can convince Cenred or the Saxons to make peace with Camelot. But if we succeed in making half of our enemies become our allies, then we have already accomplished very much."